Episoder
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In 1603, the English village of Pendle was the site of a swift and brutal witch trial that nearly wiped out two entire families. Luckily, they learned from this and never made this blunder again. Except they did, and the second trial had an accuser from the first one.
We also talk about some uniform ideas for Kyle's marathon day, West Virginia, "Shit Tower", and the Hammer of Witches (which leads to Chris' fictional band name from the early 2000s).
Just a note, there is a fairly realistic (and, it should be noted, graphic) description of what happens during the hanging of those that were found guilty during witch trials. That kind of thing isn't for everyone, so be sure to keep that in mind during the second half of this episode.
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In part two of our look at Jean and Pierre Lafitte, we watch the brothers carve out a piece of American history. Their shared interest in a free Louisiana brings them together with people-owning enthusiast Andrew Jackson. Jackson and the Lafittes had a mutual interest in the success of the Americans in the war of 1812 and the brothers had what Jackson needed: A shitload of huge cannons.
They go on to start their own kingdom in Mexico, we talk about the Treaty of Ghent again, and Jean creates his own fake letters of Marque from a country that doesn't exist. Catch the conclusion, this one really has everything.
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Manglende episoder?
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Enjoy Part One of our two part look at the rise of two brothers who turned from a humble life of blacksmithing into two of the most successful pirates of all time. It turns out it isn't just Mardi Gras that makes people go from a quiet life to one of sin and excess in the Big Easy- sometimes it's a hatred of Spain.
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Enjoy our one part look at William Dampier, a buccaneer, privateer, explorer, pirate, and travel blogger that is responsible for including almost 1500 words to the English language.
Dampier had a penchant for adventure, a scientific mind, an artists' hands, and the appetite of Joey Chestnut. He's responsible for bringing the recipe for guacamole to the masses and he also did some other stuff that is kinda cool, like circumnavigating the world 3 times.
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An exclusive look at some truly lousy popes. We cover skeletons on trial, skeletons in rivers, and skeletons in closets. We also cover some jokes about Dune, papal orgies, and barnyard stuff- but that's not out of character for us.
This series of vignettes covers a handful of Popes that didn't have the luxury of turning in their Prada slippers and flying away in a helicopter. In fact, some of them went to trial, some were killed, and one managed to do both of those things in an order that may surprise you. How many crimes were committed? Well, we kept a running total.
Oh, yeah, Keith is back. Also, there may be an actual ghost in this episode.
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Have you ever been in an argument with someone and you knew you were right? Did it make you angry? Did you want to tell the world that they were wrong? Did you buy a 5 ton block of gypsum from a quarry in a different state and hire 3 men in secret to carve a 10 foot tall likeness of yourself and then bury it to be discovered later in an attempt to prove how easily discredited their position was? No you didn't, because we know a guy that did and his story is in this episode and it isn't about you.
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Music provided by The Bloody Seamen
"Lop It Off" from Sail Hatin'
"Red Sky" from Ahoy Motherfuckers
www.thebloodyseamen.bandcamp.com/ -
What the hell is groundhog day? Good question. Here's a quick primer on some of the most famous rodent prognosticators in North America (plus one that may have been murdered by a famous New Yorker).
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Part two, our finale of Boudicca (Boudica? Bodicea? Depends on who you ask), sees her campaign of bloody revenge in the south of England as well as our very own collectible trading cards that sound an awful lot like a scam, because they more than likely are.
Before we look at the final, climactic battle between the fury of the Iceni horde and the might of the Roman war machine, we show the different styles of warfare- from the armored legions of rome the exposed, and potentially blue, genitals of the Britons. And Rob drops what is arguably the least recognized thing he assumes everyone knows about in the history of anything ever.
We also ask the one truly important question: Was Boudicca actually real?
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In the first episode of our two part look at Boudicca, the warrior queen of the Britons, we take a look at just how Rome came about colonizing the English islands. Ultimately, Rome does some Rome stuff, and death leads to atrocity which leads to Boudicca raising tens of thousands of countrymen to her cause.
Have you ever wanted some payback after a bad day? Well, the difference is that your day wasn't anywhere near as bad as hers and she actually did something about it.
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We track the ascension of Ching Shih (sometimes called Zheng Yi Sao) from her humble beginnings as a prostitute to the wife of one of the most successful pirates in Asia. After her husband's death- she took up the mantle and went on to lead a force of 80,000 pirates and 1,800 vessels. She would go on to break navies and defy empires before he reign ended- and maybe not the way you think it did.
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In 1976, 26 children and their bus driver were kidnapped on the way home from an end of summer pool party. 3 armed men loaded them into unmarked vans before burying them in the California desert- and ultimately Robert Goulet ends up in this story.
Our first true crime podcast, we look into what happened in Chowchilla that day, the children on board, their heroic bus driver, lead water, Christmas tree farms, and two bonus conspiracy theories starring Dirty Harry and Elvis respectively.
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Happy halloween, y'all! This time we're looking into some unexplained mysteries in the tri-state area, and we're unfortunately in the market for a new co-host since Kyle decided to act irresponsibly.
Just remember that you don't have to, nor should you EVER, tolerate someone becoming physical in the workplace. Completely unacceptable. But anyway...
*glass shatters*
OH GOD OH MY GOD
*Gunshots*
OH GOD NO
*Gunshots*
*Growling*
*Squelching* -
During the height of prohibition, many enterprising people found different ways to make money- some opened secret bars, some committed life insurance fraud.
Mike Malloy, a homeless immigrant and alcoholic was the target of one of these schemes (well, both, technically) but there was a wrinkle in the plan: Mike simply wouldn't die.
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We're talking Rasputin for one final time, and it's us wrapping up the entire series in a short discussion. These are usually reserved for Patreon, but we feel like you all deserved a reward for sticking with us for this one. A dozen hours and a few thousand pages of info can be a little much.
For more episodes like this, check out our Patreon and you can join in for as little as a dollar a month!
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Music provided by The Bloody Seamen
"Lop It Off" from Sail Hatin'
"Red Sky" from Ahoy Motherfuckers
www.thebloodyseamen.bandcamp.com/ -
THE FINALE! After we play musical chairs with hosts, experience a month's worth of technical difficulties, we finally wrapped our largest, longest, girthiest series yet- all wrapped up in one nice jar.
We cover assassination attempts, actual assassinations, starvation, revolution, baked goods, malicious baked goods, Henry Kissinger, and Hellboy.
This series wraps in one of our most exciting episodes yet, and we cannot thank you guys enough for enjoying it with us. We are close to TEN THOUSAND pages worth of total research in this series and we hope we were able to sift through most of it to find you the tastiest morsels.
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Music provided by The Bloody Seamen
"Lop It Off" from Sail Hatin'
"Red Sky" from Ahoy Motherfuckers
www.thebloodyseamen.bandcamp.com/ -
Our fifth installment in our 6 part series is a busy one. Unfortunately we're Keith-less since he was exposed to covid at work (don't worry, he was fine), but we carried on as best we could.
From Padre's questions re: Italian heritage, an INCREDIBLY thirst dog, and some discussions on gout- we really get into what fame and fortune does to our man Greg. From an unfortunate dining experience that ended up with a police report that included the words "sexually psychopathic", to global conflict, and ultimately to a woman without a nose, this is one hell of an episode.
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Music provided by The Bloody Seamen
"Lop It Off" from Sail Hatin'
"Red Sky" from Ahoy Motherfuckers
www.thebloodyseamen.bandcamp.com/ -
In the 4th of our series, we see Grigory begin his ascent to rarified atmosphere of Russia's loftiest political circles. Almost immediately upon meeting them, he became a trusted and loyal companion to the Tsar and Tsarina, eventually providing what can only be described as magical childcare. That does not coincide with his Marvin Gaye-esque brand of sexual healing. He was a weird dude, but he wasn't that gross.
Chris displays his encyclopedic knowledge of ED medications, there is a great "footprints in the sand" joke, and there is a decent chance everyone gets poison ivy.
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Music provided by The Bloody Seamen
"Lop It Off" from Sail Hatin'
"Red Sky" from Ahoy Motherfuckers
www.thebloodyseamen.bandcamp.com/ -
Our third installment of our series on Rasputin introduces the Romanovs- the unbroken line of Russian rulers who governed for over 300 years. We consider an intervention for Padre, the dog drops the heaviest toy in the history of dog toys, and we set the stage for Rasputin's introduction into the highest echelons of Russian society.
As an added bonus to this episode, Kyle was out of town so it's even better than usual.
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Music provided by The Bloody Seamen
"Lop It Off" from Sail Hatin'
"Red Sky" from Ahoy Motherfuckers
www.thebloodyseamen.bandcamp.com/ -
In our second installment of our multi-part look at Rasputin, we follow Grigori as he goes from weird child to weird young man as he begins his long, shirtless trek across Russia. Along the way, he makes some exciting new friends that will ultimately try to murder him, but that's not for a few more episodes
We try to debunk a few theories, postulate on some of our own, and Chris explains why he loves renting cars so much.
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Music provided by The Bloody Seamen
"Lop It Off" from Sail Hatin'
"Red Sky" from Ahoy Motherfuckers
www.thebloodyseamen.bandcamp.com/ -
In the first episode of our most ambitious project yet, we introduce our guest host, Keith. Friend of the podcast, student of history, and appreciator of bad jokes, Keith is helping us uncover the strange story of our newest subject.
We're examining the raven-haired master of the occult- Sony Pictures' own Dr. Michael Morbius (in theaters now). Our story begins as most weird things do: In Siberia. A peasant boy that claims he can see crime turns into a womanizing alcoholic and then back into a weird young man before combining all of these things in future installments. Learn about the man that heralds the end of the Romanov's in STRANGE TSAR THINGS: GRIGORI RASPUTIN
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Music provided by The Bloody Seamen
"Lop It Off" from Sail Hatin'
"Red Sky" from Ahoy Motherfuckers
www.thebloodyseamen.bandcamp.com/ - Vis mere
