Episoder
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In this 1:1 scale recreation of a conversation between two friends, Max gives Brian a crash course on plastic model kits, something he had a passing interest in as a kid, but which escalated into a full-on obsession in adulthood. We discuss the origins of the hobby compared to what itâs like now, from pre-WWII models of planes that would eventually wind up in WWII to intricate replicas of very boring objects. Of course, we don't gloss over the timeless frustrations involved with cutting, building, gluing, sanding, and literally glossing over tiny plastic things, and how the desire to assemble a fun little trinket can devolve into a very weird compulsion to assemble absurdly complicated miniature realistic facsimiles of large real-world objects.
Also, friendly reminder you can help support the show on Patreon atpatreon.com/thisthingrules, follow us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcastâs Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, weâre always happy to get email from listeners [email protected]
Intro contains clips from the Frank Grimes episode of The Simpsons, some model kit commercials, and Parks & Recreation (who is technically talking about claymation, but close enough)
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In whatâs possibly our most divisive and controversial episode to date, we tell you why we both enjoy a particular time of day that a whole lot of people would rather spend being unconscious than doing anything else. Ironically, two guys who used to host a show called âUp At Noonâ are, in fact, âmorning people.â But wait, letâs talk about how we got this way, whatâs keeping us this way, and why we donât really mind that much.
Also, friendly reminder you can help support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, follow us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcastâs Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, weâre always happy to get email from listeners at [email protected]
Intro contains clips from The Tick (the original Fox Kids animated series), a 1990 Folgers coffee commercial, an episode of Friends (The One With All The Haste) and probably The Beatlesâ worst song off Sgt. Pepperâs Lonely Heart Club Band.
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Manglende episoder?
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Who doesnât love stickers? Colorful, cool, funny, shiny, informative and occasionally stinky little pictures or messages that can be used to decorate objects and surfaces, giving a personal possession (or public property) a little more personality. We run down some of the more novel places stickers have come from and where theyâve wound up, from Ray Averyâs original âKum Kleen Price Stickersâ in 1940, to the earliest political bumper stickers, to the origins of using âHello My Name Isâ labels to introduce oneself to strangers and mailboxes and of course the sudden sticker explosion in the 1970s and 80s of brands like Lisa Frank, Mrs. Grossman and Sandylion. Plus, some of our personal favorite stickers from throughout our lives and where we put them. Special thanks to Thijis Van Sise, longtime patreon supporter and friend of the show, for suggesting this weekâs topic.
Also, friendly reminder you can help support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, follow us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcastâs Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, weâre always happy to get email from listeners at [email protected]
Intro contains a bunch of sound effects and clips from Eminemâs âMy Name Is,â a 1996 Lisa Frank commercial starring Mila Kunis, a Circle K commercial for scratch-and-sniff motherâs day stickers starring a bunch of live skunks, and The Simpsons.
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Schwing! This episode is all about the S-word: SWORDS. Over the course of the next hour, you may learn a thing or two about the history of bladed weapons, but we spend most of our time goofing off and talking about our favorite swords in popular culture, from iconic movie blades in films like Lord of the Rings, Highlander, Kill Bill, and uh, Blade and also Brianâs favorite video game swords, from Ocarina of Timeâs second-coolest sword to the Elden Ring sword that does bleed damage like they do on the Discovery Channel. Despite the topic at hand, we might not be the sharpest tools in the shed when it comes to rational analysis of melee weapons, but we still had a lot of fun this week.
Also, friendly reminder you can help support the show on Patreon at patreon.com/thisthingrules, follow us on Bluesky and Twitter @ThisThingRules, or find our little corner of our old podcastâs Discord at discord.comedybutton.com - and of course, weâre always happy to get email from listeners at [email protected]
Intro contains clips from Highlander, Home Movies, a disastrous QVC sword infomercial and Kill Bill Vol. 1.
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In space, no one can hear you scream, but in this episode, you can definitely hear us get real excited about Alien, the original 1979 film that started it all. Enough has been said about how itâs an undeniable classic that revolutionized cinema, etc, but itâs also a miracle it ever got made. Did you know that bringing the various forms of the iconic Xenomorph to life required actual human bones, a pile of rancid shellfish, and an industrial size oil drum full of KY Jelly - and only one of these things was at the request of H.R. Giger. Join us as we frantically gush like malfunctioning synthetic science officers about how much we adore this movie, and really try not to talk about the sequels too much (but itâs hard, because they rule too.) We also discuss our first exposure to this series, how our perspectives have changed since growing up. Also, Max would like to apologize for blanking on the names of Veronica Cartwright, who plays Lambert and falls backwards off a couch, and John Hurt, who plays chestburster victim Kane in Alien AND Spaceballs.
Intro contains clips from an H.R. Giger in a DVD special feature, Alien (duh) and âHello! Ma Babyâ by Howard & Emerson as featured in Spaceballs.
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âMonsters!" by Brian, Age 42(?)
Monsters are fictional (not real, we think) things that have existed (or not?) through basically all of human history, primarily as a mechanism to scare children or to provide cool things to torment or kill people in books, movies, TV shows, video games, comics, and campfire tales. There is not one under your bed or in your closet right now, probably, but the way the light hits at night, it might seem like it. Also the way your radiator sort of sounds like it's growling. Monsters usually sort of look like a guy but real fucked up like, as in heâs got horns or talons or a big tail or something. Sometimes theyâre real huge and donât look like a guy at all, like Godzilla or the monsters from Cloverfield or Nope. Sometimes theyâre just awful little fuckers like the Gremlins, the weird walking things from Tremors 2: Aftershocks, or Mike Wazowski from Monsters Inc., a movie about monsters that start a company, or maybe just work there, or something.In 1990 a toy line called Monster In My Pocket launched and they were a collection of 200 different brightly colored little beasts, ghouls, demons, dinosaurs, and other assorted horror men that were small enough to fit in your ratty little jean jacket or hoodie. Those were easily some of the smallest monsters. They werenât very scary but they were occasionally boxed in a way where you couldnât see exactly who you were buying which was kind of a jump scare on its own.
Some of the most famous monsters are the Universal Monsters which can be mostly broken into two groups: regular dudes with a weird thing (Dracula, Invisible Man, Mummy, Frankensteinâs Wife) and absolute freaks who look like shit like Frankenstein and Creature From the Black Lagoon. Wolf Man is the perfect bridge between these two groups because heâs a dude but heâs also an ugly fucker once a month so he is the glue to the whole gang, I imagine. The Munsters are also sort of monsters but theyâre mostly just people, although they have a dragon living under their stairs and thatâs an actual monster. Eddie Munster is mostly just an Italian kid. Speaking of TV monsters, there are also the Aaaah! Real Monsters from their show, but theyâre actually not real even though theyâre monsters. Theyâre drawings.
Speaking of which, lots of monster stories are about a guy becoming a monster and thatâs bad or theyâre about a monster who has to become a guy, which is good. Shrek explored these themes. Speaking of Hollywood, monsters is also a term people use to describe a real man who did monstrous things, like Harvey Wienstein and the Menendez Brothers who have their own documentary with the word âMonsterâ in the title. Beauty and the Beast is the story of a guy who becomes a monster and then doesnât and itâs also the story of singing furniture. Charlize Theron was also a monster in the movie Monster where she killed guys. Every three years a different movie comes out called Monster and they all have nothing to do with each other.Sometimes monsters stay monsters the whole time but itâs ok, like Chewbacca, a monster who drives with people in their space cars and sometimes rips arms off of bad guys. Half of the things on Sesame Street are also monsters, like Grover. Gonzo from Muppets isnât really a monster but heâs sometimes in the same movie with a large monster creature muppet who has hobo shoes.
Monsters in video games are great because you can train them, capture them, become them, or kill them, usually thanks to a large glowing weak spot on their bodies. Monsters in movies donât really have those, though.
Monsters get tired a lot but donât worry, they actually have their own energy drink called Monster Energy drink which is made from guarana and taurine and other words that sound like monster names.
Anyways, monsters are cool and we like them, mostly because theyâre not real (we think)
The End
Intro contains clips from Dracula, The Monster Mash, Frankenstein, Monster In My Pocket, and The Monster Squad -
In honor of the holidays (and us being pretty fried because of the holidays, and the entire year that preceded them) this weekâs episode is even more laid back and conversational than normal, and we hit record without any specific topic in mind. After some muttering and grumbling about getting older, and also how we were friends with Dash Rendar without realizing it, the conversation turned to what weâve been listening to this year, music-wise. So, something along the lines of Max and Brianâs Spotify Wrapped: The Radio Drama, but with some of our usual detours and tangents.
For anyone who prefers a more cohesive, less shoegaze-y audio product, donât worry, This Thing Rules will return to its regularly scheduled programming in 2025. Thanks for bearing with us during these trying and festive holiday times.
Here are the albums, artists and music-adjacent media we mentioned (or alluded to) in chronological order:Alli Goertz - Peeled back
LL Cool - The FORCE
Rome Streetz - Hat & garden hold up
Griselda Records (Conway The Machine, Benny The Butcher, Westside Gunn, Daringer)
HEALTH - RAT WARS ULTRA EDITION
Pixel grip - ARENA / Stamina
Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross - Challengers [MIXED] by Boys Noize
NIN - Add Violence
NIN - The Fragile
The Sparks Brothers (2021 documentary)
Sparks - No. 1 in Heaven
Sparks - Exotic Creatures of the Deep
Abba - Gold (greatest hits record, but also 33 â book about said record)
Beastie Boys Book by Ad-Rock and Mike D (book and audiobook)
Beastie Boys - Hello Nasty
Madonna: Like an Icon by Lucy OâBrien (book)
The Prodigy - Fat of the Land (and its album art by JAKe Detonator)
Rage Against The Machine - Evil Empire
Rage Against The Machine - Renegades
Beck - Sea Change
Nirvana - Nevermind
Nirvana - In Utero
Nirvana - Unplugged
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âTis the season! From wholesome feel-good classics like âItâs a Wonderful Lifeâ and âA Charlie Brown Christmasâ to vaguely off-color classics like âNational Lampoonâs Christmasâ and âLove, Actuallyâ to flat-out misanthropic filth like âBad Santaâ or âHome Alone 2: Lost in New York,â there are are a lot of movies about, or at least, involving Christmas. So, letâs talk about some favorites, some less favorite, and some movie franchises set in universes where Christmas doesnât exist that weâve somehow forced into our holiday rotation.
Intro includes clips from Itâs a Wonderful Life, Bad Santa, Die Hard, A Christmas Story and Angels With Filthy Souls (the fake gangster movie from Home Alone, not to confused with Angels with Dirty Faces, which is an actual film)
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In 1996, Star Wars was in a weird spot. The Original Trilogy was a long time ago, and the Prequel Trilogy was still far, far away, but thanks to the rapidly expanding Expanded Universe in the form of books, comics and games, fans had plenty keeping them busy. So, to capitalize on this, and test the waters for interest in a new movie, Lucasfilm did the next best thing to making a movie: making everything BUT a movie, with Shadows of the Empire, a multimedia project that took the form of a novel, a comic series, a Nintendo 64 game, a score, multiple toy lines, scale model kits, and even a pop-up book. Filling in the blanks between The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi, it was the most coordinated assault Star Wars fans had seen since the Battle of Endor, and it arrived just as we were getting into that galaxy far, far away in a big way. So, letâs look back on why this was so special, what worked, what didnât, and whatâs made its way back into the official canon.
Intro contains clips from Clerks, a Kenner Shadows of the Empire action figure commercial (voiced by Mark Hammil), a promotional video for Shadows of the Empire and an Arakyd Viper Imperial Probe Droid.
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This week, weâre joined by our pal Scott Bromley to discuss one of the most beloved fantasy realms ever created by a fast food restaurantâs marketing teams: McDonaldland. Okay, so, maybe the food isnât healthy, and the play structure is a deathtrap at best, and the Happy Meal toys and packaging are a blight on landfills, but at least Ronald McDonald, Grimace and The Hamburglar are pretty cool, right?
Intro contains clips from various creepy McDonald's commercials. In case it's not abundantly clear, this episode is in no way sponsored, affiliated, endorsed, or approved of by McDonald's in any way shape or form.
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This week, we're tackling something that's probably too broad of a subject to fit in one episode, and which is something of a moving target, but which definitely rules. We share some personal anecdotes, as well as various trials, tribulations and existential dilemmas posed by creating another human being. (Sorry if this episode description is a little scatterbrained, while writing it, my kid needed help going to the bathroom, then insisted I let her brush my hair, and then wanted me to look up how to say "high five" in German. Apparently, it's "gib mir fĂŒnf," but also not really a thing people do in Germany. -Max)
Intro contains clips from The Empire Strikes Back, Kindergarten Cop and the trailer for Mr. Mom, which hasn't aged very well.
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Slime has existed for all of time in some form, probably. The first slime ever was primordial ooze which many believe was made of random earth slop that came together to form life. Slime as a toy was first introduced by Mattel in 1976 and it was literally just a plastic garbage can full of slime for kids over 5 and was labeled as âgooey, drippy, oozey, cold, ân clammyâ It was mostly made of guar gum and PVA glue. Mattel went on to put all sorts of shit in this stuff, like fake bugs, eyeballs, and other small horrors. Since then, practically every action figure line has incorporated some slime-related playset or feature, and in more recent years, it underwent a surprising renaissance among a whole new demographic, other than disgusting little boys. Letâs wax (and ooze) nostalgic for our favorite gelatinous substance.`
Intro contains clips from a late 70s local news clip, Ghostbusters, Nickelodeonâs You Canât Do That On Television, âIâm The Slimeâ by Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention, and commercials for Mattelâs Masters of the Universe Slime Pit playset and Playmates Toysâ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Flushinator playset.
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Hoo hoo hoo. Okay, so maybe Jabba isn't exactly a role model, or particularly family-friendly, but that slimy piece of worm-ridden filth is one of our favorite parts of Star Wars, both in-universe as a terrifying villain, and behind-the-scenes as a completely absurd achievement in special effects in both practical and CGI forms. We delve into our first exposure to Jabba, reflect on why we love him so much, and share some of the weirder Jabba items from our respective collections of toys and other crap.
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Greetings, true believers! Long before the Marvel Universe was the multimedia pop-culture behemoth it is today, it was primarily relegated to the world of paper products: comics, obviously, but also trading cards - which was some of our earliest exposure to countless colorful characters. We revisit some of our favorites, from Fleer Ultra X-Men to Marvel Masterpieces, and dig into some of the history of this collecting phenomenon, as well as the influence it had on us as dorky art kids.
Intro contains clips of The Simpsons, X-Men: The Animated Series and Stan Lee's introduction to the Marvel Action Hour. -
Going door to door asking for candy from strangers is a pretty strange thing to do, but what if you wore a ridiculous outfit while doing so? Somehow thatâs become a totally normal tradition that we do every year. As much fun as the candy and spooky decor is, one of the most fun things about Halloween is getting to dress up as whatever the hell you want to. We take a look back at some of the origins of wearing costumes at Halloween (and sometimes Christmas) and reminisce about some of our fondest fancy dress memories over the years, including but not limited to the Smurfs, Willy Wonka, Punished Snake, Mario, The Joker, a LEGO Minifig and Batman in Khakis.
Intro contains clips from âDead Manâs Partyâ by Oingo Boingo, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Itâs The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown and the Beavis and Butt-Head episode âBungholio: Lord of the Harvest.â
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Evil dies tonight! Or, gets discussed at great length. Weâre joined by our dear friend Ryan Scott to discuss Halloween, the long-running series of slasher movies based on the even longer-running actual holiday. SPOILER WARNING! Youâve had plenty of time to get up to speed on this 40+ year old movie series, so weâre assuming youâve watched them all, or don't care if we tell you how the crappy ones end.
Intro contains clips from Halloween (1978) and Halloween III: Season of the Witch
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Letâs face it, without a skeleton, youâd be a puddle of floppy wet stuff. Plus, without skeletons, Halloween decorations would be 90% pumpkin, and that would be stupid as hell. Letâs talk about these terrifying latices of rigid calcium and other stuff we all use to wobble our haggard wet gets across this miserable earth, and also, our favorite instances of skeletal and bone-adjacent characters in pop culture. You probably wonât learn anything about the human body this episode, but you might learn something about human bodies that have posthumously appeared in some classic films.
Intro contains clips from Andrew Goldâs âSpooky Scary Skeletonsâ (which was recorded in 1996, despite regularly being associated with a 1929 Disney short) Stevie Wonderâs âSkeletonsâ and an excerpt from Return of the Living Dead, which is an absolute blast of a film and if you havenât seen it, get on that.
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Itâs once again that time of year when those breakfast ghouls descend upon the cereal aisle. Weâre of course referring to Count Chocula, Franken Berry, Boo Berry and their fairweather cohorts, Frute Brute and Yummy Mummy, as well as their newest addition, Carmella Creeper. We delve into the history of these bizarre breakfast mascots, including their controversies, artistic endeavors, and occasional appearances in major motion pictures.
Intro contains clips of old Monster Cereal commercials. You probably couldâve put that together.
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Ding-dong! Thatâs both the noise you hear when you walk into a convenience store, a brand of packaged baked good thatâs probably available within, and the sort of person whoâd spend over an hour talking about their love of these establishments that are somewhere between a fast food restaurant and a grocery store. Depending on where you live, you may have another term for a convenience store, like liquor store, corner store, mini mart, bodega, convenience shop, corner shop, carry out, mini-mart, milk bar, cold store, party store, deli, milk bar, dairy, superette, Kiosk, spĂ€ti, konbini, dĂ©panneur or off-licence. Whatever itâs called, we have a lot to say about these little shops, from their history to their place in pop-culture to our own personal adventures involving them.
Intro contains clips from Beavis & Butt-Head, The Simpsons, Ghost World and Bill & Tedâs Excellent Adventure. And also whatever you call the machine that makes a noise when you walk into a 7-Eleven.
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Action figures rule! Weâve been collecting small articulated plastic humanoids for decades, and weâre not quite sure why! We dig into the history of these highly collectible NOT-dolls from their Kung-Fu Grip origins with the original 12-inch G.I. Joe, to Kennerâs 3 Ÿâ Star Wars line that revolutionized the industry, to our own personal origin stories bashing together Dengars, Dreadnoks, and Deadpools in our backyards as kids⊠and on our desks as adults.
For more on the history of action figures, you can do a lot worse than The Toys That Made Us on Netflix, and Toy Galaxy on YouTube also has some great deep dives on forgotten playthings. If you want some up-to-date looks at action figures, the fine folks at ToyArk and Preternia hold it down, and if youâd like a glimpse at our combined toy collection at its peak, we gave a little tour of that a long time ago in a workplace far, far away.
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