Episoder

  • Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

    On this episode, we answer the following questions:

    When my husband's secret affair life was exposed, I felt like I had to have sex all of the time to keep him from cheating. Now, he doesn't know how to have sex (or true intimacy) because sex was always "done to him." How do we work through all of this?How do I deal with my husband not being sexually interested in me?My husband is doing well with his recovery, but I can't get past feeling violated and having attacks on my mind during sex. What should I do?Resources:

    Pure Desire Podcast For Sex During Recovery

    Peace Beyond The Tears

    Full Episode On Youtube

    Betrayal & Beyond

    Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

    Authentically You

    Seven Pillars

    Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

     

    GET STARTED

    Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

    Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

    Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

    Join A Pure Desire Online Group

     

    SOCIALS

    Follow us on Facebook

    Follow us on Instagram

    Follow us on X (Twitter)

  • Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

    On this episode, we answer the following questions:

    I'm the only one in my group whose husband is not working on recovery or counseling of any kind. How do I navigate this, not manipulate or give ultimatums, and keep myself safe as I engage in this healing process alone?For me to feel safe and start rebuilding trust, Iā€™ve asked to see my husbandā€™s emails, but he refuses. He wonā€™t join a menā€™s recovery group. I donā€™t know how to deal with this. Am I being unreasonable? I keep thinking something else is coming.After years of deception, affairs, porn use, and who knows what, I finally had my breaking point. He was willing to walk away rather than work through it. He could never tell me why. I struggle every day with the why'sā€¦ And I struggle in support groups because so many are still together, working through it together. Is there such a thing as unresolved betrayal trauma? How do I heal without all the answers?Resources:

    Full Episode On Youtube

    Betrayal & Beyond

    Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

    Authentically You

    Seven Pillars

    Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

     

    GET STARTED

    Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

    Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

    Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

    Join A Pure Desire Online Group

     

    SOCIALS

    Follow us on Facebook

    Follow us on Instagram

    Follow us on X (Twitter)

  • Manglende episoder?

    Klik her for at forny feed.

  • Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

    As a parent in recovery, how do I start the conversation about sexual health with my kids?Is there anything about a teen brain that is different from an adult when it comes to struggling sexually or emotionally?How can I help my kids who struggle? (not just boys, but girls struggle too)Resources

    Full Episode On Youtube

    Betrayal & Beyond

    Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

    Authentically You

    Seven Pillars

    Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

     

    GET STARTED

    Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

    Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

    Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

    Join A Pure Desire Online Group

     

    SOCIALS

    Follow us on Facebook

    Follow us on Instagram

    Follow us on X (Twitter)

  • Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions:

    As a parent in recovery, how do I start the conversation about sexual health with my kids?Is there anything about a teen brain that is different from an adult when it comes to struggling sexually or emotionally?How can I help my kids who struggle?Resources

    Full Episode On Youtube

    Betrayal & Beyond

    Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

    Authentically You

    Seven Pillars

    Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

     

    GET STARTED

    Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

    Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

    Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

    Join A Pure Desire Online Group

     

    SOCIALS

    Follow us on Facebook

    Follow us on Instagram

    Follow us on X (Twitter)

  • Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

    If we struggle with addictions, why canā€™t we just quit cold-turkey? How long will it take to fully recover from addictive behaviors?How can the Three Circles tool help?Resources

    Full Episode On Youtube

    Betrayal & Beyond

    Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

    Authentically You

    Seven Pillars

    Three Circles Tool

    Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

     

    GET STARTED

    Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

    Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

    Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

    Join A Pure Desire Online Group

     

    SOCIALS

    Follow us on Facebook

    Follow us on Instagram

    Follow us on X (Twitter)

  • Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions:

    I went to my church for help and left feeling more confused and ashamed. What should I do now?If Iā€™m a woman who struggles, how do I know if I can go to my church for help? What can churches do to create safe environments for women who need help whether it's their own sexual struggles or betrayal from someone else?

    If you have a question youā€™d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at [email protected]. We canā€™t wait to hear from you!

    Resources

    Full Episode On Youtube

    Betrayal & Beyond

    Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

    Authentically You

    Seven Pillars

    Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

     

    GET STARTED

    Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

    Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

    Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

    Join A Pure Desire Online Group

     

    SOCIALS

    Follow us on Facebook

    Follow us on Instagram

    Follow us on X (Twitter)

  • Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex & Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions:

    I relapsed last weekend and feel so much shame. How do I pick myself up off the floor?Who do I tell about my relapse?What tools can I use to get back to restoration?

    If you have a question youā€™d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at [email protected] or simply reply to this email. We canā€™t wait to hear from you!

    Resources

    Full Episode On Youtube

    (All tools are free on our website - https://puredesire.org/tools/ )

    FASTER Scale

    Crash Site Analysis

    Recovery Action Plan

    Three Circles

    Betrayal & Beyond

    Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

    Authentically You

    Seven Pillars

    Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

     

    GET STARTED

    Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

    Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

    Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

    Join A Pure Desire Online Group

     

    SOCIALS

    Follow us on Facebook

    Follow us on Instagram

    Follow us on X (Twitter)

  • Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions:

    Everyone thinks heā€™s the ideal husband, but Iā€™m miserable. Where do I find help if nobody sees the problem?Why is it so hard to walk away from someone causing me pain?My husband and I are in counseling, and the counselor thinks Iā€™m the one overreacting. What can I do?

    If you have a question youā€™d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at [email protected]. We canā€™t wait to hear from you!

    Resources

    Full Episode On Youtube

    Betrayal & Beyond

    Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships

    Authentically You

    Seven Pillars

    Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

     

    GET STARTED

    Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

    Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

    Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

    Join A Pure Desire Online Group

     

    SOCIALS

    Follow us on Facebook

    Follow us on Instagram

    Follow us on X (Twitter)

  • Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex & Love, with Ashley and Heather.

    In this episode, we answer these questions:

    How much do I share with my kids?If I tell people about my struggles, will I look like a bad mom? How do I avoid hurting my kids while Iā€™m recovering? Will I be able to raise secure kids when Iā€™m such a mess?

    If you have a question youā€™d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at [email protected]. We canā€™t wait to hear from you!

    Resources

    Full Episode On YouTube

    Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

     

    GET STARTED

    Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

    Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

    Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

    Join A Pure Desire Online Group

     

    SOCIALS

    Follow us on Facebook

    Follow us on Instagram

    Follow us on X (Twitter)

  • Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

    In this episode, we answer these questions:

    Since discovery, I canā€™t seem to function like I did before. Iā€™m crying one minute and angry the next. How long will this last?As a betrayed mom, what steps can I take to begin healing and ensure I donā€™t take out my pain on my kids?How much do I share with my kids?

    P.S. If you have a question youā€™d like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at [email protected]. We canā€™t wait to hear from you!

    Resources

    Full Episode on YouTube

    Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

     

    GET STARTED

    Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

    Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

    Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

    Join A Pure Desire Online Group

     

    SOCIALS

    Follow us on Facebook

    Follow us on Instagram

    Follow us on X (Twitter)

  • Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

    On this episode, we answer these questions:

    What does it mean to be sexually healthy as a single?What type of boundaries should I have for dating?Iā€™ve heard of the ā€œlove cocktailā€ of chemicals people experience when falling in love. Can a person actually experience withdrawals from feeling in love?Resources

    Full Episode on YouTube

    Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

     

    GET STARTED

    Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

    Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

    Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

    Join A Pure Desire Online Group

     

    SOCIALS

    Follow us on Facebook

    Follow us on Instagram

    Follow us on X (Twitter)

  • Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

    In this episode, we answer these questions:

    What comes first: thoughts, feelings, or behaviors?I grew up in a home where we didnā€™t talk about feelings. How can I learn more about feelings, so I can teach my kids about feelings?I struggle with talking about feelings, especially to my husband. What can I do to get better at communicating my feelings?Resources

    Full Episode on YouTube

    Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

     

    GET STARTED

    Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

    Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

    Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

    Join A Pure Desire Online Group

     

    SOCIALS

    Follow us on Facebook

    Follow us on Instagram

    Follow us on X (Twitter)

  • Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

    In this episode, we answer these questions:

    I could go the rest of my life without sex. Is this normal?My husband is sexually anorexic. What does this say about me?Does the Bible really tell us we canā€™t withhold sex from our husbands?Resources

    The Great Sex Rescue, by Sheila Wray Gregoire

    Betrayal & Beyond

    Full Episode on YouTube

    Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

     

    GET STARTED

    Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

    Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

    Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

    Join A Pure Desire Online Group

     

    SOCIALS

    Follow us on Facebook

    Follow us on Instagram

    Follow us on X (Twitter)

  • Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.

    On this episode, we answer the following questions:

    Iā€™m five days post disclosure and Iā€™m clueless how to handle this. How should I feel? Can I sleep with my husband if I want and be so angry and hurt at the same time? Itā€™s a weird place to be. He didnā€™t have an affair but lots of acting out online in chat rooms, fantasy too. I think Iā€™m still numb, is that normal? Iā€™m also a therapist so I feel like I know the answers to these questions but it's different when you are on this side of the fence. a little. maybe a lot, I dunno. Does that help?Why do things like violent sex scenes and nude women arouse me?We are trying to recover from my husband's SA [Sex Addiction]. He is getting counseling and I know our intimacy needs to be restored one day at a time. Is it wrong within our marriage for him to say explicit words to me? I feel like he's trying to make me feel safe but at the same time these words trigger me.Resources

    Full Episode on YouTube

    Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

     

    GET STARTED

    Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

    Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

    Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

    Join A Pure Desire Online Group

     

    SOCIALS

    Follow us on Facebook

    Follow us on Instagram

    Follow us on X (Twitter)

  • Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

    Iā€™m in a Betrayal & Beyond group and itā€™s teaching me so much about emotional awareness and health. My husband is in a Seven Pillars group and heā€™s not learning anything about emotional health or betrayal trauma? Why is this?When/How will my husband learn to be empathetic and take responsibility for the pain heā€™s caused me, if itā€™s not in the Seven Pillars work?My husband has been in group for months and Iā€™m not seeing any changes in his attitude or behaviors. Can I talk to his group leader to find out if heā€™s actually doing the work?

    Show notes:

    Help Her Heal, by Carol Juergensen Sheets

    Help Them Heal, by Carol Juergensen Sheets

    Worthy of Her Trust, by Stephen Arterburn

    Pure Desire Counseling

    Betrayal & Beyond (Women's Betrayal Resource)

    Seven Pillars of Freedom (Men's Recovery Resource)

    The Compassionate Warrior (Men's Recovery Resource)

    Resources

    Full Episode on YouTube

    Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

     

    GET STARTED

    Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

    Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

    Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

    Join A Pure Desire Online Group

     

    SOCIALS

    Follow us on Facebook

    Follow us on Instagram

    Follow us on X (Twitter)

  • Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

    Can my husband rape me?Can I say no to my husband?I feel disconnected when we don't have sex, but when I have sex with my husband I feel used. What can I do to change this pattern?Resources

    Full Episode on YouTube

    Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

     

    GET STARTED

    Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

    Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

    Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

    Join A Pure Desire Online Group

     

    SOCIALS

    Follow us on Facebook

    Follow us on Instagram

    Follow us on X (Twitter)

  • Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions:

    My question is how do you know if you are actually having an orgasm?I donā€™t know that I have ever enjoyed sex. I can orgasm but I donā€™t know how to wake my body up. Sex was shamed in my Christian home then I was supposed to enjoy it after marriage but for so long, sex was used as a tool when my husband was in his addiction. We are doing so much better, relationally, after PD but I donā€™t know how to start liking sex.How are the brain and orgasm connected?Resources

    Full Episode on YouTube

    Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

     

    GET STARTED

    Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

    Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

    Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

    Join A Pure Desire Online Group

     

    SOCIALS

    Follow us on Facebook

    Follow us on Instagram

    Follow us on X (Twitter)

  • Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions:

    My husband went to a ā€œmassage parlorā€ for a hand job about every two weeks until I discovered what he was doing 13 months later. How do I get over the shame?My question is, after a 33-year marriage, where I trusted my husband, I found out he was having a long-term affair with a married woman. I suspected porn and seeing some of the pictures on his phone, he was into some very devious stuff. Iā€™m now divorced, and Iā€™m wondering if I can trust another man again to love who I am and not feel like I have to be a woman of the world to grab a manā€™s attention again. Iā€™m doubting that Iā€™m someone desirable in bed anymore.After having sex with my husband, I feel so much shame and often cry. Why is this? Weā€™ve been through the healing process, but I canā€™t seem to shake these feelings after sex.Resources

    Full Episode on YouTube

    Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

     

    GET STARTED

    Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

    Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

    Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

    Join A Pure Desire Online Group

     

    SOCIALS

    Follow us on Facebook

    Follow us on Instagram

    Follow us on X (Twitter)

  • Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions:

    Since discovery, it's been hard for me to know when my husband is telling me the truth. Should I trust my gut intuition even though heā€™s telling me Iā€™m being paranoid?What is gaslighting? Can you give examples of what this looks like?What are the best ways to respond if I think someone is gaslighting me?

    Show Notes:

    The Betrayal Bind, by Michelle Mays

    Resources

    Full Episode on YouTube

    Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

     

    GET STARTED

    Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

    Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

    Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

    Join A Pure Desire Online Group

     

    SOCIALS

    Follow us on Facebook

    Follow us on Instagram

    Follow us on X (Twitter)

  • Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:

    Why am I so angry?My husband betrayed me; why am I taking it out on my kids?Growing up, it was implied that being angry was sinful. I know I'm hurt but how do I know if I'm dealing with anger?Show Notes

    Anger Test

    Resources

    Full episode on YouTube

    Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos

     

    GET STARTED

    Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma

    Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn

    Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation

    Join A Pure Desire Online Group

     

    SOCIALS

    Follow us on Facebook

    Follow us on Instagram

    Follow us on X (Twitter)