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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
On this episode, we answer the following questions:
My husband has cancer and is unable to have an erection without viagra. He's offered to help me achieve orgasm in other ways, but this feels selfish. What do I do?How do you deal with your sex drive after your spouse dies? You ladies talked about prior marriages but does it work the same way with the death of a spouse? How can you make talking about sex with your spouse more comfortable? Right now it just seems very awkward and uncomfortable bringing it up, so neither of us really talk about our needs. ResourcesFull Episode On Youtube
Sheila Wray Gregoire's Courses
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Email us your questions! - [email protected] Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:
In porn/sex addiction recovery resources, most of them seem to recommend a celibacy period of at least 90 days. My husband, who is a recovering porn addict, uses 1 Corinthians 7:5 to say that is unbiblical, saying that if we "deprive each other" then we will be more likely to fall into temptation. If the celibacy period is truly something that is worth doing to speed up recovery, how do I combat that argument about him saying it is unbiblical?What about if my husband relapses during those 90 days? What if we give in and have sex during those 90 days? For both of those prior questions, does this mean that the 90 days should start over?What changes happen in the brain due to an abstinence period? Will those changes only happen if someone chooses to do an abstinence period?Resources:Full Episode On Youtube
Cleaning Up The Mental Mess
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos
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Manglende episoder?
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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
On this episode, we answer the following questions:
What do I do if my boundaries are not honored and my spouse continues to gaslight me and make me feel like the mean one?What is the best way to come up with boundaries and what are some good boundaries?We have been doing "recovery" for 6 years now. My husband cannot go more than 6 months white knuckling sobriety before diving back into addictionāthen lying and telling me heās sober. Iāve tried setting boundaries and consequences, but nothing sticks. I need help.Resources:Watch Full Episode On Youtube
Recovery Action Plan Podcast Episode
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos
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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
On this episode, we answer the following questions:
How do I stop thinking about the prostitutes my husband was with when he and I have sex? How do I get my head sorted out?Do you ever get to the point where your spouse's past with a prostitute doesn't bother you or will you always experience triggers?What happens when a partnerās porn and sex addiction ends up rearing its ugly head in the marital bedroom?Resources:The Resolution For Women
Free Counseling Consultation
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos
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Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
On this episode, we answer the following questions:
My husband is in a Pure Desire group but does the bare minimum. He says heās sober and offended that I donāt trust him. He says he will always resent me for asking for a polygraph. Should my husbandās attitude toward me change with recovery?Is it an unrealistic expectation that my husband wouldn't fantasize about other women?Will my husband always be a sex addict and want his addiction more than me?Listen Now!
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos
GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group
SOCIALS
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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
On this episode, we answer the following questions:
How do I process my own betrayal from his porn addiction and abusing my daughters and their friends?How do I reconcile with my daughter, who was sexually abused by her dad, whom I'm still married to?We have not resumed anything sexual, hardly even touching, as we work with a coach on building intimacy emotionally and spiritually in our relationship. I realized recently that I feel like it will be betraying my daughters to enter a sexual relationship with my husband again. Is it possible to recover and heal from all of this?Resources:Full Episode on Youtube
Betrayal & Beyond
Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships
Authentically You
Free Counseling Consultation
Seven Pillars
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos
GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group
SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
On this episode, we answer the following questions:
Iām in a Betrayal & Beyond group and my husband is in a Seven Pillars group. We are working through this painful process. Iām curious about what specifically men are seeking out that they are not being provided with by their partners? Are we talking about specific acts, positions, role playing? I would love to understand what makes pornography better than me. Part of my addicted spouseās acting out is using me for sex. When it appears heās doing work, and sex is back in the picture, he goes to cruise control and stops doing his recovery work. Then I feel unsafe and uncared for and used, and he gets upset, and the cycle starts all over again. What would you advise?Although my husband is not engaging in porn or masturbation, he does engage in āflashesā and fantasy while having sex with me. He says this is not breaking his sobriety, and according to our counselor it is. I feel violated, used, and betrayed. Can you help me understand more about the issues of āflashesā and fantasy?Resources:Full Episode On Youtube
Betrayal & Beyond
Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships
Authentically You
Seven Pillars
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos
GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group
SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
On this episode, we answer the following questions:
When my husband's secret affair life was exposed, I felt like I had to have sex all of the time to keep him from cheating. Now, he doesn't know how to have sex (or true intimacy) because sex was always "done to him." How do we work through all of this?How do I deal with my husband not being sexually interested in me?My husband is doing well with his recovery, but I can't get past feeling violated and having attacks on my mind during sex. What should I do?Resources:Pure Desire Podcast For Sex During Recovery
Peace Beyond The Tears
Full Episode On Youtube
Betrayal & Beyond
Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships
Authentically You
Seven Pillars
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos
GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group
SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
On this episode, we answer the following questions:
I'm the only one in my group whose husband is not working on recovery or counseling of any kind. How do I navigate this, not manipulate or give ultimatums, and keep myself safe as I engage in this healing process alone?For me to feel safe and start rebuilding trust, Iāve asked to see my husbandās emails, but he refuses. He wonāt join a menās recovery group. I donāt know how to deal with this. Am I being unreasonable? I keep thinking something else is coming.After years of deception, affairs, porn use, and who knows what, I finally had my breaking point. He was willing to walk away rather than work through it. He could never tell me why. I struggle every day with the why'sā¦ And I struggle in support groups because so many are still together, working through it together. Is there such a thing as unresolved betrayal trauma? How do I heal without all the answers?Resources:Full Episode On Youtube
Betrayal & Beyond
Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships
Authentically You
Seven Pillars
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos
GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group
SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk About Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:
As a parent in recovery, how do I start the conversation about sexual health with my kids?Is there anything about a teen brain that is different from an adult when it comes to struggling sexually or emotionally?How can I help my kids who struggle? (not just boys, but girls struggle too)ResourcesFull Episode On Youtube
Betrayal & Beyond
Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships
Authentically You
Seven Pillars
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos
GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group
SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
Follow us on Instagram
Follow us on X (Twitter)
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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions:
As a parent in recovery, how do I start the conversation about sexual health with my kids?Is there anything about a teen brain that is different from an adult when it comes to struggling sexually or emotionally?How can I help my kids who struggle?ResourcesFull Episode On Youtube
Betrayal & Beyond
Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships
Authentically You
Seven Pillars
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos
GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group
SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
Follow us on Instagram
Follow us on X (Twitter)
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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. In this episode, we answer these questions:
If we struggle with addictions, why canāt we just quit cold-turkey? How long will it take to fully recover from addictive behaviors?How can the Three Circles tool help?ResourcesFull Episode On Youtube
Betrayal & Beyond
Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships
Authentically You
Seven Pillars
Three Circles Tool
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos
GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group
SOCIALS
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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions:
I went to my church for help and left feeling more confused and ashamed. What should I do now?If Iām a woman who struggles, how do I know if I can go to my church for help? What can churches do to create safe environments for women who need help whether it's their own sexual struggles or betrayal from someone else?If you have a question youād like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at [email protected]. We canāt wait to hear from you!
ResourcesFull Episode On Youtube
Betrayal & Beyond
Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships
Authentically You
Seven Pillars
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos
GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group
SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
Follow us on Instagram
Follow us on X (Twitter)
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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex & Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer these questions:
I relapsed last weekend and feel so much shame. How do I pick myself up off the floor?Who do I tell about my relapse?What tools can I use to get back to restoration?If you have a question youād like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at [email protected] or simply reply to this email. We canāt wait to hear from you!
ResourcesFull Episode On Youtube
(All tools are free on our website - https://puredesire.org/tools/ )
FASTER Scale
Crash Site Analysis
Recovery Action Plan
Three Circles
Betrayal & Beyond
Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships
Authentically You
Seven Pillars
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos
GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group
SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
Follow us on Instagram
Follow us on X (Twitter)
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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather. On this episode, we answer the following questions:
Everyone thinks heās the ideal husband, but Iām miserable. Where do I find help if nobody sees the problem?Why is it so hard to walk away from someone causing me pain?My husband and I are in counseling, and the counselor thinks Iām the one overreacting. What can I do?If you have a question youād like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at [email protected]. We canāt wait to hear from you!
ResourcesFull Episode On Youtube
Betrayal & Beyond
Unraveled: Managing Love, Sex, and Relationships
Authentically You
Seven Pillars
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos
GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group
SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
Follow us on Instagram
Follow us on X (Twitter)
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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex & Love, with Ashley and Heather.
In this episode, we answer these questions:
How much do I share with my kids?If I tell people about my struggles, will I look like a bad mom? How do I avoid hurting my kids while Iām recovering? Will I be able to raise secure kids when Iām such a mess?If you have a question youād like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at [email protected]. We canāt wait to hear from you!
ResourcesFull Episode On YouTube
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos
GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group
SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
Follow us on Instagram
Follow us on X (Twitter)
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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
In this episode, we answer these questions:
Since discovery, I canāt seem to function like I did before. Iām crying one minute and angry the next. How long will this last?As a betrayed mom, what steps can I take to begin healing and ensure I donāt take out my pain on my kids?How much do I share with my kids?P.S. If you have a question youād like us to answer on Unfiltered, email us at [email protected]. We canāt wait to hear from you!
ResourcesFull Episode on YouTube
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos
GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group
SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
Follow us on Instagram
Follow us on X (Twitter)
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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
On this episode, we answer these questions:
What does it mean to be sexually healthy as a single?What type of boundaries should I have for dating?Iāve heard of the ālove cocktailā of chemicals people experience when falling in love. Can a person actually experience withdrawals from feeling in love?ResourcesFull Episode on YouTube
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos
GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group
SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
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Follow us on X (Twitter)
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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
In this episode, we answer these questions:
What comes first: thoughts, feelings, or behaviors?I grew up in a home where we didnāt talk about feelings. How can I learn more about feelings, so I can teach my kids about feelings?I struggle with talking about feelings, especially to my husband. What can I do to get better at communicating my feelings?ResourcesFull Episode on YouTube
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos
GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group
SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
Follow us on Instagram
Follow us on X (Twitter)
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Thanks for listening to Unfiltered: Real Talk about Sex and Love, with Ashley and Heather.
In this episode, we answer these questions:
I could go the rest of my life without sex. Is this normal?My husband is sexually anorexic. What does this say about me?Does the Bible really tell us we canāt withhold sex from our husbands?ResourcesThe Great Sex Rescue, by Sheila Wray Gregoire
Betrayal & Beyond
Full Episode on YouTube
Find this and all episodes on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@_UnfilteredPodcast/videos
GET STARTED
Free eBook: 7 Keys To Understanding Betrayal Trauma
Free eBook: 5 Steps to Freedom From Porn
Schedule Your Free 15-Minute Counseling Consultation
Join A Pure Desire Online Group
SOCIALS
Follow us on Facebook
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