Episodes
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American Vampire presents Grindhouse: Vampire Bride, aka ROSALIE'S REVENGE.
We legit spent so much time talking specifically about the conversation between Rosalie and Bella in Chapter 7 of Eclipse that I had to split the Chapters 7-9 episode into two parts. Content note: discussion of sexual assault.
Topics include how our bitter queen Rosalie came to resent capitalism, the aging body in romance, and how this chapter feels like it's living in a Tarantino/Rodriguez cinematic universe instead of Twilight.
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We're finally back (sorry!!!) with chapters 4-6 of Eclipse, which can really only be described as a Dumpster™ fire.
Topics include justice for Emily, how kidnapping is never casual, this franchise's ever more troubling relationship to aging (now with 20% more racism), and Edward's tacky goth interior design taste. Also, what if this story had witches and ghosts? Or if we had started a podcast about Animorphs instead?
(Content note: like most of our episodes, this includes discussions of abuse.)
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Missing episodes?
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Briana and Sid begin the third Twilight book, Eclipse, discussing the preface through the end of Chapter 3. Wuthering Heights haunts this text in a confusing way! Other topics include how Edward's behavior escalates to straight-up horror movie antagonist, Jacob inspires some Twilight/The Outsiders crossover fiction, and Stephenie showcases her passion for graphic design.
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A special holiday season piece of ghost-adjacent content! As Wuthering Heights is referenced repeatedly in Eclipse, Sid and Briana read and reread (respectively) the 1847 novel by Emily Brontë.
Topics include how everyone in this book probably has tuberculosis, Heathcliff's ethnic ambiguity and... extracurricular activities, and how Kate Bush may have exaggerated just how much ghost content Wuthering Heights truly contains.
(Apologies for the poor sound quality, I used the wrong mic input like a chump!! And happy holidays y'all!!)
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We are finally back! After some international and ontological adventures, Briana and Sid return to American Vampire to discuss the final chapters of New Moon (23 to Epilogue).
Topics include Edward's constant gaslighting and presumably hilarious old-timey Chicago accent, Bella's concerns about aging and marriage, and the sham democracy of the Cullen family's vote on Bella's fate.
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After a brief hiatus, American Vampire has returned from its hellish slumber to cover Chapters 19 to 22 of New Moon.
Topics include how you really don't get any whiter than Vampire Cops at the Vampire Vatican, some truly mind-boggling interior design and fashion choices, and how we feel personally gaslit by this series.
This episode was originally going to be New Moon Ch.19 - Epilogue, but we got a little bogged down in detail/yelling, so we'll cover 23 to the end next time. -
In this episode Briana and Sid discuss the (gibbous?) third quarter of New Moon, from Chapter 13 through the end of Chapter 18.
Topics include Bella's super casual and not at all morbid and disturbing passion for cliff-diving, the disappointing return of one of our favorite secondary characters, and how we just wish everyone would be nice to sweet baby Jacob and buy him some damn sandals.
Note that in addition to our usual references to PTSD and abuse, this episode features some frank discussion of suicide.
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In this episode Briana and Sid discuss the Jacob-oriented second quarter of New Moon, from Chapter 7 through the end of Chapter 12.
Topics include how this entire werewolf plot line is low-key very racist in both its mundane and supernatural aspects, a general moratorium on the word "russet" except for describing literal potatoes, and adding Jacob to the list of characters who clearly have PTSD.
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It's 2018 friends! New year, new me, New Moon. Sid finally stopped laying prone on the forest floor long enough to edit this episode in time for it to still be January!
In this episode Briana and Sid discuss the oft-mocked beginning of New Moon, from the opening prelude to the end of Chapter 6. Topics include the gaslighting madness of stolen photographs and traumatic secrets, breakup coping mechanisms ranging from wholesome rebounds to auditory hallucinations, and how we both just really want Bella to live her truck-driving, motorcycle-repairing butch truth.
Apologies for the audio quality on this one; it was very, very cold the day we recorded this, and the heater was loud. We will be more vigilant about this in the future, and perhaps one day spring will come.
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In this episode Briana and Sid discuss the plot-packed final third of "Twilight", Chapter 17 through to the end. Topics include how Alice is by far the best vampire, how this whole plot arc low key sounds like a cover-up for domestic violence, and the Cullens' radical vampire animal liberation cult vibes.
Thanks for your patience over the holidays, and Happy New Year! For the next episode we'll be reading Chapters 1-6 of "New Moon".
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In this episode Briana and Sid discuss the middle third of "Twilight", Chapters 9 through 16. Topics include musings on what Bella's life in Phoenix was like, what the unique powers of the Twilight vampires have to do with American Christianity, and the ol' Lloyd Dobler problem of the thin line between "this is romantic" and "I'm calling the cops".
PS: Did you know that the "lion and the lamb" line we talk about in this episode isn't actually in the Bible? Neither did we! Apparently the closest you get is: "The wolf also shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid; and the calf and the young lion and the fatling together; and a little child shall lead them." from Isaiah 11:6 (King James version bc we're classy).
PPS: Spoiler alert for that movie The Others I guess?
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Buckle in, friends. It's time to bite into this sucker. Briana and Sid discuss Chapters 1 through 8 of the eponymous first book of the Twilight Saga. Topics include the surprising importance of sports to the Twilight universe, why we suspect Bella Swan already has PTSD, and how much Mike sucks.
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Before Briana Finegan (Noted Twilight expert) guides Sid Branca (Noted Goth) through the rollercoaster of emotion that is reading the Twilight Saga books for the first time, they have a pre-reading discussion. This episode covers their existing relationships to this franchise, their goals for this podcast, and why it's called American Vampire.
NOTE: Unlike our future episodes, this episode *does* contain spoilers.
