Episodes
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AEM # 115 Giles Moffat Boarding School Survivors Taking Their Schools To Court
How do you take your school to court? How do you get a prosecution for sexual and physical abuse when no one else has listened?
A fascinating conversation today with Giles Moffat about how a group of child abuse survivors took their schools to court.
Giles talks about how he connected with Nicky Campbell, the BBC DJ, who attended the same school as him.
Gradually they built a large network of survivors who managed to get not only the police but also the schools and courts to listen.
A very powerful and inspiring conversation.
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Giles became a boarder at the Edinburgh Academy in 1980, where he was abused like many others.
In 2022 Giles formed the EA Survivors group with Nicky Campbell.
Today he shares his insights into effective campaigning and the power of survivor groups.
Questions for Giles:
I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you are now doing?What were your boarding school experiences like?How did boarding school impact you as an adult?- naming perpetrators and the legalities around that (basically, go for it. We named several people in the media because of their age and have yet to receive a single legal letter in 2 years)Understanding UK defamation law (I have a qualification in this)Influencing prosecution (we lobbied the police and crown office and got 6 arrests in December 23)The experience of giving evidence in court situations The therapeutic and empowering benefits of speaking upWhat motivates survivors when they campaignHow to engage with the authorities and get the best out of them. Working with the media to achieve your aims.Planning and strategy for survivor groups. Historical cover-ups. You have worked in positions of leadership. How did your boarding school education impact the way you lead?Boarding school leaders: Could you please speak to those leaders who have been to boarding school. David Cameron, Boris Johnson. What do you feel about their leadership?What is the work that you are doing now?#childabuse #childhoodtrauma #nickycampbell #edinburghacademy
To connect with the survivors group: https://easurvivors.info/
For Seen and Heard: https://seenheard.org.uk/
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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.
He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.
He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1
For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross
For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic
For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community
Many blessings,
Piers Cross
http://piers-cross.com/ -
Today I wanted to continue the conversation about cults which Wyndham Wallace talked about in my last podcast: https://youtu.be/NYTA8dm6X6g
HereI wanted share some of the literature on cults by some of the world's leading experts on them.
What is a cult?
And what are the main characteristics of a cult?
And finally how much like a cult is a boarding school?
6 Characteristics of a Cult: https://andynaselli.com/sociological-characteristics-of-cults
What Is A Cult? https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-mind/202106/understanding-cults-the-basics
Book on Cults:: https://a.co/d/7kXgyFe
#cults #boardingschool #cult #boardingschoolsyndrome
Take care,Piers
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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.
He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.
He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1
For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross
For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic
For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community
Many blessings,
Piers Cross
http://piers-cross.com/ -
Missing episodes?
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Wyndham Wallace is a Berlin-based writer whose critically acclaimed first book, Lee, Myself & I – about his friendship with Lee Hazlewood, the man behind These Boots Are Made For Walking – was published in 2015.
He began his career as a music publicist in the mid 1990s, before running City Slang Records’ UK office for eight years, but now works as a music critic for, among others, Uncut and Classic Pop. He also worked as music consultant on Sebastian Schipper’s Victoria, for which composer Nils Frahm won a German Film Award, and can be seen fronting Almost Fashionable: A Film About Travis, which won the Edinburgh Film Festival Audience Award.
In 2024, he helped lead a number of victims of child sexual abuse over three decades to a public settlement with Horris Hill prep school, and he continues to campaign for justice for all those abused in private education, past and present.
Questions for Wyndham:
I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you are now doing?Your own experience at Horris Hill, and how sexual abuse was the only angle that the law would accept to bring a case even though other equally appalling things took place there, leaving other victims without satisfactionThe broader issues of a culture that has outlived its usefulness, if it was ever useful, and its wider effects on societyWhether, for all their talk of safeguarding etc, schools today have genuinely learned anything from the last decade or two of abuse exposure. With new cases emerging it would appear not much has changed at all.The absurdity of separating a child from its parents at a young age when it’s clearly seen abroad as seriously detrimental, even as a punishment, to a childThe need for mandatory reporting and how Duty Of Candour could have helped me (and other Horris Hill victims) put this largely behind us as early as 1985.Your belief that what we are actually dealing with here is a cult, pure and simple. Most of the signs are there, and it takes victims years to deprogram. I believe it’s also helpful to think this way in terms of our parents, who had been similarly inculcated and are victims too, yet never receive an apology from schools (even when former pupils do)The link between music and memory.What is the work that you are doing now?
#csa #horrishill #boardingschool #sexual abuse #boardingschoolcultsFor more information please visit: http://www.wyndhamwallace.com
To purchase his first book: http://jawbonepress.com/lee-myself-i/
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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.
He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.
He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1
For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross
For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic
For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community
Many blessings,
Piers Cross
http://piers-cross.com/ -
On my podcast this week I am interviewing Wyndham Wallace who is an author and music critic.
In the episode we were talking about music and how powerful it can be for healing childhood trauma.
In today's video I talk about how we store emotion in the music that we listened to at school.
Both the music that we liked and the music we didn't like.
A really fascinating exploration of music therapy to heal childhood trauma.
For the full podcast you can watch it here: https://youtu.be/NYTA8dm6X6g
Take care,
Piers---
Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.
He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.
He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1
For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross
For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic
For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community
Many blessings,
Piers Cross
http://piers-cross.com/ -
Today on the podcast I welcome back author and psychotherapist Rod Boothroyd as we revisit the archetype of the Sovereign, King or the Queen.
The Sovereign is the part of us that is responsible for vision, power, potency, blessing ourselves and others, and bringing order to our internal and external worlds. The King is also the part of us responsible for the spiritual side of our lives.
Today Rod goes deeper into the subject of the King archetype with the release of his new book, Finding The King Within. What are the positive aspects and what are the shadows? How do we connect to this energy in a benevolent way?
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Rod Boothroyd is a counsellor, psychotherapist, a certified “Healing The Shadow” practitioner and the author of the books Warrior, Magician, Lover, King – a guide to the male archetypes updated for the 21st century and Finding The King Within.
He works with men, women and mixed groups to heal the wounds of childhood with Marianne Hill and also trains people in the art of working with the shadow and healing emotional wounds.
Some of the questions for Rod:
What is the King or Sovereign archetype?What makes a balanced and mature King?In writing the book you talk about 41 different qualities and values that a mature King embodies. What for you are 5 of the most important qualities that we need to cultivate?What are the shadows of the archetypes?What are the specific shadows of the King archetype?I would love you to speak more about the importance of emotional intelligence in the realm of the sovereign? Why is it so important? If we don't have access to our emotions how might that affect the relationship to our sovereign?“Many men today are really a kind of adolescent “boy-man”, arrested in development between boyhood and mature masculinity.”( p.7) Could you please talk to this. How do we move into mature masculinity?What would you say is the key emotion of the King and why is this emotion so important for a mature male? What are some ways of embodying this emotion?Could you please talk about stewardship and the connection to the sovereign archetype?How do we cultivate the King - what are the steps that we can take to embody the King more fully in our lives?You give 20 different ways of embodying the King energy. Which of these methods are the most relevant to today's man? If someone was to start with 5 practices what would you start them out with?#kingwarriormagicianlover #kingarchetype #rodboothroyd
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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.
He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.
He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1
For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross
For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic
For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community
Many blessings,
Piers Cross
http://piers-cross.com/ -
I begin today with a heart felt quote from Minnie Driver in her book, Managing Expectations.
She talks about phoning her mother to come and pick her up.
Her mother ignores her.
So today I wanted to read through 10 biographies of well-known people and their stories of feeling like they were captive or “counting down the days like prisoners” as Bear Grylls puts it.
I share the words of John Rentoul's biography of Tony Blair where he tells the story of how he tried to run away.
I talk about how Clive Woodward, the former England Rugby manager and World Cup winner ran away 3 times from his boarding school only to be sent back each time by his father.
Other biographies include: Stephen Fry, John Peel, Roald Dahl, Christine Jack, Jack Whitehall and Jeremy Paxman.
What a fascinating subject.
#captivity #prison #boardingschool
Take care,
Piers
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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.
He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.
He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1
For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross
For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic
For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community
Many blessings,
Piers Cross
http://piers-cross.com/ -
Why do some of our political, business, and societal leaders seem to have such disdain and in some cases almost hatred for the everyday person?
Where might these attitudes come from?
Where does the sense of entitlement, and even looking down on those that they serve arise from?
I was reading Jeremy Paxman's autobiography A Life in Questions last night.
I came across a passage where he talks about his prep boarding school.
He sees the headmaster's son set light to the moors. Once the police come the son blames the local “teddy” boys 'who were blamed for just about everything that went wrong in the school.'
As George Orwell wrote in The Road to Wigan Pier: 'Common people seemed almost subhuman.'
In today's video I share about some of my own similar experiences at boarding school.
How we looked down upon the porters, the cleaners and saw them as less than human.
I also talk about Nick Duffell from Wounded Leaders asking: 'Could it be that the British working class as an entire group have been suffering from projective identification from the upper classes?'
'Have they been standing in for the stupid, messy, incompetent children the latter wish to distance themselves from in their own collective psyche?'
I also share some of Richard Beard's thoughts from Sad Little Men.
#workingclass #disdain #leaders
Take care,
Piers
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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.
He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.
He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1
For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross
For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic
For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community
Many blessings,
Piers Cross
http://piers-cross.com/ -
What is love addiction also known as limerence?
And what is intergenerational trauma? How does that pass from generation to generation?
Today I am speaking with a psychotherapist who originally trained as a medical doctor.
His speciality is working with people around relationships and limerence.
Today he shares his journey at boarding school and how he ran away, never to come back.
He also talks about his father's experiences of the Nazi concentration camps and how this trans-generational trauma was passed onto him.
He talks about how we can start to heal from love addictions.
Really fascinating. Thank you David.
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Dr. David Perl originally qualified as a medical practitioner from St. Thomas’ Hospital, London in 1984. He then went on to create and develop docleaf one of the UK’s most successful crisis management consultancies.He holds qualifications in Leadership Coaching and is a qualified psychotherapist and is experienced in hypnotherapy and NLP.
Questions for Dr Perl:
I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?I would love for you to talk a little about your boarding school experiences. What happened?I would love for you to speak to intergenerational trauma. What is it and how does it impact people?Could you please speak to limerence. What is it? How is it linked to childhood trauma? How do we heal from limerence?Could you please talk about relationships? What are some of the most common problems that you see when you are working with couples?How do people find out more about your work?Other areas to talk about:Emotional benign neglectParenting and Daniel MacAll trauma is relationalLeadershipAttachment theory, trauma and boarding schoolTo find out more about Dr Perl's work: https://themarriedtherapists.com/
Or here: https://limerence.net/
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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.
He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.
He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1
For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross
For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic
For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community
Many blessings,
Piers Cross
http://piers-cross.com/ -
What was it like to go to boarding school at age 7?
And how did that impact my guest's adult life?
From addictions, to breakdown and then path of recovery to finding purpose, my guest today shares his own journey.
In today's episode I am speaking with Chris Braitch who is the director of the not for profit, Seen & Heard, which supports the emotional wellbeing of past pupils of boarding and independant schools.
He talks about his boarding school years: bullying, dissociation, and trauma.
And he shares how he recovered and how he has now found purpose in life.
A very inspiring and heart-felt episode.
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Chris Braitch is a father of 3 first and foremost. He is also a 1-2-1 and organisational coach, speaker, and founding director of the not for profit Seen & Heard. Seen & Heard supports the emotional well being of ex-pupils of boarding and independent day schools, and their families. Chris has found his calling supporting others on their journey to healing and joy, utilising his diverse life experiences, and professional skills learned over a 20-year career in sales, marketing, and management at some of the world’s largest food companies.
Questions for Chris:
I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?I would love for you to share some of your boarding journey. What was it like?Could you please share your path of healing? What things have you tried and what really worked for you?You have worked with me for a couple of years. How has that experience been?You are part of the charity Seen and Heard. What do you do and what is your mission?You were part of the Coming Home retreat as part of the documentary. How was that for you?What is next for you?How do people find out more about you?For more infromation about Seen and Heard please visit: https://seenheard.org.uk/
To find out more about Chris' one to one work: https://growthwave.uk/
#childhoodtrauma #booardingschoolsyndrome #seen&heard #trauma #healingtrauma
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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.
He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.
He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1
For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross
For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic
For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community
Many blessings,
Piers Cross
http://piers-cross.com/ -
Today I wanted to share some of the experiences of John F Kennedy at boarding school.
I share from his biography called Kennedy, An Unfinished Life.
Kennedy went to boarding school from age 13 to Canterbury in the US.
And then age 14 he went to Choate School.
I share his experiences of homesickness, being a rebel and being close to being expelled and having a family which had very high expectations of him.
I also talk about some of the illnesses he struggled with at boarding school.
Taken from the biography by Robert Dallek called Kennedy, An Unfiinished Life: https://amzn.eu/d/61Zn6DL
Take care, Piers---
Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.
He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.
He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1
For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross
For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic
For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community
Many blessings,
Piers Cross
http://piers-cross.com/ -
At just 13-years-old, Connor was burned over 90% of his body with third degree burns and given less than a 1% chance of survival after a backyard explosion. After three months in a medically induced coma, nearly two years of painful rehabilitation, and more than 100 surgeries over a decade, Connor emerged triumphantly; not only to walk again, but to live his best life.
Despite his physical and emotional trauma, Connor went on to pursue his dreams of playing Division I lacrosse and then worked as a lacrosse coach for an elite program. His deep passion for sports and coaching youth inspired him to create the “MAC Mentality”, his approach in navigating life confidently and authentically. Connor is now a motivational speaker and published author of the book “Life Ignited: A Hopeful Journey, Sparked By Fire”.
Questions for Connor:
I would love for you to share your journey. It sounds heart-breaking and inspiring. What happened?What was your personal experience of navigating life after your accident?For people who have been through challenging childhoods, what advice would you share?If you were to teach a class on overcoming childhood trauma what would you teach?How did you develop mental resilience?What is the Mac Mentality?Could you please talk about courage. How do we cultivate it?What advice could you share share on how to maintain confidence?Many teenagers seem to be struggling at the moment with their mental and emotional health, what advice would you give them?How has your approach to life has changed the lives of many? How do people find out more about you?To reach out to Connor or to learn more: https://macmentality.com/
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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.
He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.
He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1
For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross
For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic
For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community
Many blessings,
Piers Cross
http://piers-cross.com/ -
What are the 5 basic components of great leadership?
Last week I talked about why boarding school doesn't create good leaders drawing upon the work of Nick Duffell's Wounded Leaders and Kouzes and Posner's The Leadership Challenge: https://youtu.be/VNMQpTyO1h8
Today I wanted to explore the work of Warren Benis in his book on Becoming A Leader.
What are the 5 key ingredients that all good leaders have?
I also share some of the work of Simon Sinek in his book Leaders Eat Last.
What helps you become a great leader?
Warm regards, Piers
#leadershipdevelopment #leadership #warrenbenis #simonsinek---
Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.
He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.
He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1
For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross
For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic
For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community
Many blessings,
Piers Cross
http://piers-cross.com/ -
A fascinating discussion today with an ER medical doctor about her time in boarding school and how that affected her mental health.
She shares how she spent time in mental hospitals and was tried on 35 different medications.
Eventually she was given brain surgery for her depression.
She talks about the impact trauma had on her and the path of healing.
A very inspiring and heart breaking story.
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Cathy Wield was born into a British Diplomatic Service family in India in 1959. She spent most of her childhood overseas in different locations until she commenced training to become a doctor in London, UK.
Most of her medical career was spent as an Emergency Physician with a short period working as a Psychiatrist. She started her post graduate training late, having decided to make family a priority, but this was interrupted twice by depression. The first episode was prolonged and severe and culminated in brain surgery. Her sudden, complete and miraculous recovery astonished the medical profession and is documented in her first book, Life After Darkness (Radcliffe 2006).
But in fact that was not the end of it, and within a year of publication she was re-admitted to a mental hospital during another emotional crisis. It is from this point on that she started to question her psychiatric treatment and look at the real reasons behind her mental health problems. The sequel and re-write to the first memoir:
‘Unshackled Mind; a doctor’s journey of trauma, liberation & healing’ will be published in February 2025, and available for pre-order from The Book Guild this autumn.
Questions for Cathy:
I would love for you to share some of your journey. How did you get into the work you now do?Could you please talk us through your boarding school experiences. How were they for you?Could you please talk to your experiences of psychiatry? What happened?Could you please talk about emotional neglect. Why do you feel boarding school is emotional neglect?Other areas to talk about:Severe depressionThe link between mental health and traumaMental health in this countrySelf-harm and suicideThe path of recoveryThe experience of the Coming Home retreatYour experiences with the church as outlined in Thorn in my MindFor more information please visit: https://cathywield.com/
To purchase her books: https://amzn.eu/d/7kH174Z
And a powerful article about her journey with mental health: https://www.madintheuk.com/2021/11/labels-that-stick/
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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.
He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.
He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1
For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross
For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic
For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community
Many blessings,
Piers Cross
http://piers-cross.com/ -
Today I draw upon the work of leadership experts James Kouzes and Barry Posner in their book The Leadership Challenge and Nick Duffell in his book Wounded Leaders.
What are 5 reasons according to science that those who go to boarding school make bad leaders?
Based on the article by Nick Duffell in the Guardian in 2014: https://www.theguardian.com/education/2014/jun/09/boarding-schools-bad-leaders-politicians-bullies-bumblers
I talk about the lack of love, emotional intelligence, flexibility of the brain, not being able to interpret facial signals and others.
Any questions please do let me know.
#leadershipdevelopment #leaders #boardingschoolsyndrome #boardingschool
Warm regards,
Piers---
Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.
He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.
He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1
For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross
For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic
For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community
Many blessings,
Piers Cross
http://piers-cross.com/ -
What is emotional neglect? And how might that link to boarding schools?
Today I am speaking with psychotherapist and author, Graham Music, who attended boarding school from age 9.
He talks about what trauma is, dissociation and neglect.
And he dives deep into emotional neglect. What is it and how might it show up in a boarding school setting? Why might neglect go unnoticed?
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Graham Music is a psychotherapist, trainer, author and supervisor. He is a Consultant Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist at the Tavistock Centre where he has worked for over 20 years, and he has been an adult Psychotherapist for about 35 years. He supervises and teaches nationally and internationally and has a particular interest in linking cutting-edge developmental findings with therapeutic practice.
Formerly Associate Clinical Director of the Tavistock Clinic’s Child and Family Department, he has developed many innovative programs, including setting up services in over 40 schools and a range of services working with the aftermath of child maltreatment and neglect. His clinical specialty for decades been understanding and working with trauma.
#neglect #emotionalneglect #boardingschoolsyndrome #boardingschool
Some questions for Graham:
I would love for you to share about how you got into the work you now do?I would love to hear about your boarding school experiencesHow can we re-spark hope and joy after being through trauma?Your thoughts on dissociationThe importance of emotional development. What happens to a child when we are not emotionally nurtured?Your thoughts on neglect - what it is and how does it impact children?Could you please speak to emotional neglect. Why is it so damanging?The importance of the body in therapeutic work. The work of Wilhelm Reich and somatic healing.Anger and trauma. What to do when anger starts to arise in us. Why is that a hopeful sign?How do we cultivate resilience?How to people learn more about you?To find out more about Graham and his work: http://www.nurturingnatures.co.uk/
sign-up for newsletter https://nurturingnatures.co.uk/sign-up/
twitter @grahammusic1
linkedin www.linkedin.com/in/
Books https://amzn.eu/d/c5hNFtg
Journal articles https://nurturingnatures.co.uk/publications/journals/
Book chapters https://nurturingnatures.co.uk/publications/book-chapters/
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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.
He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.
He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1
For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross
For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic
For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community
Many blessings,
Piers Cross
http://piers-cross.com/ -
I often hear from people who went to boarding school – “Nothing happened to me.”
What they mean is that they weren't abused, beaten or sexually abused.
I then ask, did you see or hear beatings, violence, bullying or abuse?
Most reply, yes.
So the research around mirror neurons is now showing that the person who witnesses violence whether that be at home or at school will feel it, mirror it in their own brains.
Today I draw upon the work of psychiatrists, Dr Judith Herman in her book Trauma and Recovery, Dr Bessel van der Kolk's The Body Keeps The Score and Dr Paul Miller.
What are mirror neurons?
What happens to us when we witness other people being hurt?
I also quote from Boris Johnson's biography, Just Boris by Sonia Purnell about he felt when he heard younger boys being beaten at his boarding school Ashdown House and David Cameron's For The Record.
#mirrorneurons #boardingschooltrauma #boardingschool #childhoodtrauma
Take care,
Piers
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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.
He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.
He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1
For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross
For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic
For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community
Many blessings,
Piers Cross
http://piers-cross.com/ -
Is it possible to heal from childhood trauma?.
What if we had a really tough upbringing which included abuse, neglect and possibly even boarding school.
Can we heal?
What if we've tried everything but nothing is really working.
What can we do?
In today's conversation I am speaking with the founder of Realm Theory, Roslyn Snyder.
We talk about her work helping those that have been through trauma heal.
A really engaging and thought-provoking conversation.
Thank you Roslyn.
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RoslynSnyder is the creator of books, experiential trainings and a practising psychologist. After a career in applied medical science, Roslyn Snyder graduated with first class honours in psychology in 1995 focussed on psycho-neurobiology and psychometrics. In 2017 she published Realm Theory and is now in the process of operationalising Realm Theory.
Questions for Roslyn:
I would love for you to share some of your journey. What was your childhood like and how did that impact your line of work?I would love for you to talk about realm theory. What is it?Could you please speak to the path of healing. Can we heal? What is the path of healing?I would love you to talk about the Aboriginal culture. How does it differ from the Western school of thought? What can we learn from them?Other areas to talk about:Aboriginal boarding schoolsThe MapNature, place and purposeThe nature of patternsThe importance of eldersThe Aboriginal way of bringing up childrenLeadership – what you teach leaders
#childhoodtrauma #trauma #traumaandrecovery #recoveryfromtraumaTo find out more about Rosylyn's work: https://wisdominyourlife.com.au
Or here: https://roslynsnyder.com/
To connect with her on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/roslyn-snyder-5552a15b/
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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.
He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.
He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1
For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross
For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic
For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community
Many blessings,
Piers Cross
http://piers-cross.com/ -
Leaders and Burnout. What are the symptoms of burnout?
In my 20s, I had a breakdown and burnt out. I was working in London.
I had a job in sales and essentially lost motivation and drive.
I was selling big ticket items in the financial sector.
Some weeks I only sold one product a week. It felt exhausting.
Eventually it got so bad, I couldn't even get out of bed.
So I went through a period of a few years of burnout.
And I see in the work I do with my clients, a lot of my clients have come to me with burnout.
They're struggling. They are really chronically stressed.
The common theme for my clients is that they also went to boarding school as well.
And I find that this is a common overlap, this burnout for ex-boarders.
Why? We struggle to stop.
So what are the symptoms according to Emma Seppala PhD in her book The Happiness Track?
being cynical,critical at work, dragging yourself to work, and having a hard time motivating yourself once therebecoming irritable or impatient with colleagues or clients, lacking the energy needed to be productive, lacking satisfaction when you achieve something, and feeling disillusioned with your work.
Do you resonate with any of these?---
Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.
He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.
He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1
For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross
For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic
For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community
Many blessings,
Piers Cross
http://piers-cross.com/ -
Why is group work so important for boarding school survivors on the path to recovery?
If being seen was dangerous as a child at these public schools why is it so helpful to be seen in a group setting as we heal?
Today Nick Duffell who is one of the founding voices in the Boarding School Survivors movement talks about group work.
He talks about why we heal in group settings and how the group dynamics works.
He explores the process of surviving at boarding schools and the process of how we learn to thrive again.
Our wounding came from a group so it makes sense that our healing can come from the same setting.
A fascinating podcast.
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Nick Duffell is a psychotherapist and trainer in private practice who pioneered therapeutic work with ex-boarders and specialist training for psychotherapists. He is the author of The Making of Them, Trauma, Abandonment and Privilege and Wounded Leaders.
Questions for Nick
I would love for you to talk about the importance of group workWhat is it about being in a group of 'survivors' be that boarding school, childhood trauma or addiction that helps us to heal?What makes the BSS workshops so unique, powerful and effective?Why we learn to survive at boarding schools? What might surviving look like as an adult?How we start to thrive in our lives again?Other areas to talk about:DissociationProblems with intimacyWorkaholismAddictionsWhy were boarding schools set up?What was the purpose of them?What is the link between boarding schools, and colonialismWhat is the impact of boarding school on children?How might a boarding school education show up in adult life?8. How do people find out more about your work?
#nickduffell #boardingschoolsurvivors #boardingschoolsyndrome #workshops #groupwork
To book on one of Nick's workshops (Men's Workshop September 2024/ Women's October 2024): https://www.boardingschoolsurvivors.co.uk/events-and-workshops/
For more information please visit: https://www.boardingschoolsurvivors.co.uk/
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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.
He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.
He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1
For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross
For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic
For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community
Many blessings,
Piers Cross
http://piers-cross.com/ -
Today I wanted to talk about a recent conversation I had with Nick Duffell the author of Wounded LEaders and The Making of Them.
Nick has been running group workshops for many years. https://www.boardingschoolsurvivors.co.uk/events-and-workshops/
He first began offering these 4 day workshops in 1989/90 and has run them every year since.
He offers them for both men and women.
Today I talk about the importance of group work.
I talk about the men’s circles that I run and the benefits I have found from attending these groups.
I share some of the beliefs that we might carry post boarding school - ‘there’s something wrong with me,’ or ‘I’m the only one.’
Because we never share and we never speak to others about what happened these beliefs get cemented inside.
It is time for us to let go of them.
How? By speaking them in a group or working 1-1 with someone we have an opportunity to share what we went through and to hear others’ experiences.
I share today many quotes from the psychiatrist, Dr Judith Herman, from her book Trauma and Recovery.
For groups that you can join as a boarding school survivor please visit:
Women: https://www.theboardingschooltherapist.com/womens-online-group
Men: https://www.piers-cross.com/online-mens-circles
#grouphealing #groups #nickduffell #boardingschoolsurvivors #judithherman
Take care,
Piers
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Piers is an author and a men's transformational coach and therapist who works mainly with trauma, boarding school issues, addictions and relationship problems.
He also runs online men's groups for ex-boarders, retreats and a podcast called An Evolving Man.
He is also the author of How to Survive and Thrive in Challenging Times. To purchase Piers first book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Survive-Thrive-Challenging-Times/dp/B088T5L251/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=piers+cross&qid=1609869608&sr=8-1
For more videos please visit: http://youtube.com/pierscross
For FB: https://www.facebook.com/pierscrosspublic
For Piers' website and a free training How To Find Peace In Everyday Life: https://www.piers-cross.com/community
Many blessings,
Piers Cross
http://piers-cross.com/ - Show more
