Episodes
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Paulelica tries to keep her distance from Lucian, but being the Middle-Ages weirdo that he is, he doesn't understand boundaries so they have sex in her office. Paul gets more angry as the game progresses. Paulelica and Lucian get ready for a ball
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THEY FINALLY BANG! Lucian and Paulelica, after literally HOURS of gameplay, finally fuuuuuucked. And it's definitely a let-down. After all this build-up, foreplay, will-they-won't-they bullshit, he basically throws it into her and gets tired after four thrusts. Plus, their sexy-talk sounds like it was written by ChatGPT
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Missing episodes?
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Hey folks! I'm uploading the full interview with the iconic and legendary horror author, Darren Shan! This was originally recorded in 2021 during the COVID lockdown; my podcast had only just started and I didn't have the best equipment so the original audio was pretty crappy. This is a re-edited version and the video has been included with the audio on Patreon.Topics include:
Writing Archibold LoxDarren's views on twilightHis thought process behind creating villainous charactersPotential film/tv projects for his booksMore about Mr. Crepsley's backstoryGingersHis opinion on the Cirque Du Freak movie with John C ReillyAmericanization of novelsThe market of horror novels for children
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Paulelica has another argument with her boss, but this time she wins by gloating how she slept with the customer. Really bad workplace culture, if you ask me. Paulelica then tries to establish boundaries with Lucian, and it goes exactly as you'd predict. Betsy and Paul try to come up with more were-creatures
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Paulelica finally gets some action, but only very briefly before she is blue-balled by the elusive vampire lord Lucian. Quick recap: Paulelica is a human who works for a supernatural dating agency. She is trying to win Lucian Redgrave, a wealthy vampire lord, over as a client in order to save the company from bankruptcy. Lucian only seems interested in getting with Paulelica, and her boss is also telling her to sleep with him so that he remains as a client. Paulelica finds Lucian charming and would love to sleep with him, but is worried about losing her job despite her boss explicitly telling her to put out for the client. Also Paulelica's mother is a were-badger.
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Stefan saves Elena from getting attacked in the forest, and she gets mad at him for it..? We learn more about the thirsty thruple that was Catherine, Stefan, and Damon; turns out manipulative women have always been the boys' types. Elena finds out that Stefan is just as much of a stalker as she is, and nothing makes her happier. She also completely screws over her two best friends, very intentionally, and immediately tells them to not expect and apology and they're like 'okay bet'. Elena also carries her diary around with her everywhere, filled with her sociopathic thoughts, and is surprised when she loses it
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Elena continues on her quest to woo the ever-elusive Stefan Salvatore, by... checks notes ...spreading false rumors that he's an undercover cop, telling everyone that she has a fake foreign boyfriend, trying to get her very-recent-ex to help her spend alone time with him, and making out with the guy who bullied Stefan on his first day of school. Classic meet-cute amiright??
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We find more damning evidence of how "Twilight" completely robbed from TVD. Elena goes full stalker on Stefan; she promises herself that they will both die if he doesn't return his love for her, and she makes her friends do a blood oath to help her win his heart. For some reason nobody thinks this is creepy and everyone still thinks she's the coolest blonde normal cheerleader that's ever lived.
Follow us on Patreon for ad-free episodes and pre-releases ahead of time!
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We hear more of Elena's inner dialogue; she thinks everyone at school besides her and her friends are 'peasants' and she gets offended when boys don't sexually harass her in the hallways. She openly admits to using boys like objects; Stefan claims to be attracted to her because he can read her mind and finds it to be 'strong' and not 'psychopathic' like we do.
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Hosted by Betsy Speer, guest stars for this season are Elizabeth Redmond and Louise O'Toole
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We are reviewing the 1991 novel "Vampire Diaires", written by LJ Smith and the inspiration behind the 2009 show "Vampire Diaries!" Book-version Elena is very different than TV-show Elena, mainly being that she's a complete bleach-blonde-Regina-George-mean-girl, and as the reader we're supposed to get behind that....? She literally calls other students at her school "peasants" and flagrantly brags about using boys like toys. The podcast is joined by comedian guest stars Louise O'Toole and Elizabeth Redmond, who have both seen the "Vampire Diaries" tv show and offer their own insights into book-Elena vs tv-Elena.
Follow Bad Book Bash on Instagram at @badbookbash , Facebook at "Bad Book Bash", and Patreon for early-release episodes as well as other media content!
Hosted by Betsy Speer, guest stars for this season are Elizabeth Redmond and Louise O'Toole
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The very first book we ever reviewed on this podcast; "Marked: A House of Night" novel written by mother-daughter duo PC and Kristen Cast! The full review is available on the Bad Book Bash Patreon page. Starring Irish comedians Brian O'Toole and James Cadden, hosts of the "Brian and James Fuck Each Other" podcast!
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The very first book we ever reviewed on this podcast; "Marked: A House of Night" novel written by mother-daughter duo PC and Kristen Cast! The full review is available on the Bad Book Bash Patreon page. Starring Irish comedians Brian O'Toole and James Cadden, hosts of the "Brian and James Fuck Each Other" podcast!
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Episode starts off with a stranger staring at Raven through her bedroom window late at night, and she's perfectly unbothered by it because it's such a normal thing for her. Jagger is still on his bullshit, trying to kidnap Raven and turn her into his vampire bride, so Alexander and Raven hatch a plan to throw him off for good. At the very end of the book, we're introduced to a surprise character that will change the entire course of the series
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Raven doesn't learn her lesson about why she shouldn't keep sneaking into creepy, abandoned buildings, so she finallygets kidnapped by Jagger, and he almost forces her to vampire-marry him until Alexander swoops in to save the day! Becky talks about her favorite erotic zones, and Ren still can't get over the mirrors-and-vampires thing in this book
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Raven continues on her search for her mysterious, vampire boyfriend while also being stalked by another creepy villainous teenager, so not much has changed from the first book. Despite her stalker being an obvious creep who tried to roofie her, she is worried that she's being a vampire-racist, so she follows him into a dungeon where she is surprised when he tries to bite her! Raven manages to escape just in the nick of time
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Raven goes to Hipsterville to find her "gothic prince" while she's visiting her Aunt Libby, her cool hipster-aunt that Raven makes fun of for having alt fashion...the hypocrisy is lost on her. She visits "The Coffin Club", a nightclub that totally doesn't have vampires why do you ask? While there, she meets the mysterious Jagger who is also totally not a vampire, just because he keeps rambling about darkness and eternity and we can't see his reflection pffffft
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Quick recap: Raven Madison is a goth girl in the town of "Dullsville", who claims she doesn't fit in because the rest of the town is too preppy, but in reality it's because she's a judgmental pick-me. She meets Alexander Sterling, the only other goth she's ever met so they immediately fall in love. Everyone in town, including Raven, thinks Alexander is a vampire, until he proves to them he's just a regular kid who likes Hot "Gothic". But then it turns out he actually IS a vampire!!
In VK2: "Kissing Coffins", we start off with Raven hanging out with her friend Becky, and getting annoyed that Becky isn't a push-over like she was in the last book. Alexander mysteriously disappeared into the night, so Raven has made it her mission to find her "true love". This whole series is basically an advertisement for Hot Topic
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Lucien talks more about his vampire childhood, and complains about how his own 100-year-old daughter is but a young infant. Meanwhile, he continues to pursue the busty 25-year-old Paulelica when she's just trying to girl-boss it over here. Paul gleefully throws away Betsy's money on in-app diamonds in order to make questionable decisions for his fictional cartoon daughter, and talks about the sexy in-game birds. No like literal birds; griffins and were-pigeons.
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Paulelica continues to try to find Lucien a love match, while he continues to waste her time in his attempts to f*ck her. Lucien makes Paulelica wait at the bar while he goes on dates, then when she gets mad, he apologizes by buying her more drinks at the bar while he continues to go on more dates. Betsy and Paul discuss vampire hygiene (are they anti-germ theory?) as well as old vampire stock options (what do you mean, there's no more Ottoman Empire?!)
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This trailer contains snippets of the "Courts of thorns and roses"/ACOTAR season we did a while back. I've been going back and fixing the audio on the older seasons, because as many of you know, the audio wasn't great and i didn't have the equipment that I have now. if you'd like to hear the full season of ACOTAR, and not just clips, head on over to my patreon page at patreon.com/badbookbash where, for $5 a month, you can listen to all the new and improved episodes, as well as visual elements to our recordings, getting episodes ahead of time, as well as other subscriber perks. Enjoy the soundbites! Starring Irish comedians Sinead Walsh and Jessica Collins
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