Episodes
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Welcome to the first episode of the Betches Book Club, presented by Nutella Biscuits! This week, Aleen, Jordana, and Sami dive into the first 8 chapters of Such a Bad Influence by Olivia Muenter, which follows the story of an influencer who goes missing, and the older sister determined to find her. They talk dream casting for the movie before unpacking everything from snarky Reddit threads and DeuxMoi parodies, to momagers and true crime podcasters. Come back next week for Part 2, where they cover chapters 9-16, and make sure to leave all your comments and theories on Spotify and Instagram.
The only thing better than sharing a good read with your book club friends is having some delicious snacks at the function, which is why we’ll be snacking on Nutella Biscuits while we discuss. They’re the perfect club snack — so pick up a bag and follow along with us.
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This week, Aleen, Sami, and Jordana are here to distract you - and themselves - from the news cycle with a deep dive into the new Martha Stewart documentary that hit Netflix last week. They compare notes on all their favorite moments, peruse her incredible Instagram account (if you’re not following @marthastewart48, you have no idea what you’re missing), and talk about her recent NYT interview where she shared her less-than-favorable thoughts on how it turned out. In a segment sponsored by Truly Hard Seltzer, they share some of their fall traditions. To close out the episode, Jordana gives her review of M. Night Shyamalan’s latest film, Trap. Our Betch of the Week is, of course, Martha Stewart. But we’re also sending her to the Caymans, because, like all true icons, she’s flawed.
Make sure to get your copy of Such A Bad Influence by Olivia Muenter and read chapters 1-8, so you can join us on Monday, November 11th for the first episode of our Betches Book Club, presented by Nutella Biscuits! We’ll be covering the book for the next 4 Mondays, right here in the @Betches podcast feed.
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This week, Aleen and Jordana celebrate Halloween in the studio in matching Carmela and Tony Soprano costumes (check @aleen and @jordanaabraham on IG for the full fits). They kick things off with the spookiest story of the week: Armie Hammer's newly announced podcast, aptly named "The Armie HammerTime Podcast." Next, Timothée Chalamet showed up at his own lookalike contest in NY this week, and Aleen and Jordana get caught up on some of the the ClubChalamet lore. Moving on to celeb relationship news: Despite recent public appearances together looking loved up, Zoë Kravtiz and Channing Tatum have reportedly split - and Jenna Dewan’s fiancé seems to find that hilarious, for reasons unknown. Gisele Bündchen and her Jiu-Jitsu instructor/boyfriend are expecting their first child together, and Tom Brady might be feeling kind of emo about it, if his IG stories are any indication. Nick Cannon opened up about feeling insecure during his marriage to “Alpha” Mariah Carey, which leads to a conversation about relationship dynamics within successful couples. Jordana and Aleen share their thoughts on A Friend Of The Family, streaming on Peacock (true crime counts for Halloween, right?). Then, a game of Ick or Treat with five pop culture moments from the week, from Ariana Grande’s bf on the cover of GQ to Kim’s birthday post for Caitlyn. Finally, a tribute to queen of Halloween, Heidi Klum, who we’d love to share a cider with, sponsored by Angry Orchard Hard Cider. We’re sending Armie back to the Caymans yet again, and Steve Kazee to the Caymans for cackling on IG stories after the Zoe/Channing breakup.
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While Aleen’s off in LA, Jordana and Sami debate the pros and cons of the LA vs. NY lifestyles. Next, the Betches Canceled Plans issue is officially live, and they discuss the joys of both canceling and getting canceled on. Onto the pop culture headlines, Kylie is on the November cover of Elle, but Jordana’s more concerned with Wicked’s marketing team’s decision to host a special screening for the Kardashian-Jenner kids. In other news, what’s going on with Justin Bieber’s finances? We’ll be keeping an eye out for a potential future lawsuit. Then, much as it pains Jordana and Sami to discuss this without Aleen, J Lo’s ex-husband Ojani Noa went on TV this week and blamed Diddy for their divorce. Honestly, we just want a deep dive documentary on what really happened during the two years J Lo and Diddy dated. And at long last, Jordana and Sami share their long-awaited thoughts on It Ends With Us. Finally, they decide which celeb of the week they are sharing a cider with, sponsored by Angry Orchard Hard Cider. Our Betch of the Week is Anna Kendrick, for her directorial debut Woman of the Year on Netflix, and we’re sending both of the marketing teams for Wicked and It Ends With Us to the Caymans.
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This week, Sami, Aleen, and Jordana are all in the studio celebrating its fabulous renovation! Before catching up, they take a moment to reflect on the heartbreaking news surrounding the passing of former One Direction star, Liam Payne. Then, Sami shares her very exciting news from the week, where she had a brief encounter and hand hold with none other than Queen Meryl Streep. Speaking of iconic people, the second annual Betch of the Year Awards are here! And this time around you get to vote on which celebrity, athlete, creator, or viral moment should take home the top honor of Betch of the Year. Next, the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show returned after a six-year hiatus. They share their thoughts on the changing standards of beauty in the fashion industry. Then, Jordana and Sami dive into a masterclass on deception, unpacking the week’s TV dramas, including the eye-opening Anatomy of a Lie documentary and the gripping finale of Tell Me Lies. Was Aleen successfully convinced to tune in? Then, Jordana and Sami decide which celeb of the week they are sharing a cider with, sponsored by Angry Orchard Hard Cider. Finally, Stephen and Lucy from Tell Me Lies get sent to the Caymans and our Betch of the Week is Sami’s new BFF, Meryl Streep.
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This week, Sami and Jordana cover the latest headlines while Aleen takes care of business. First up, Sami shares her rave challah reviews, it was so delicious that Jordana might be inspired to write up a business plan! In her first interview since her split from Ben Affleck, JLo discusses their divorce, prompting Jordana to find the timing suspicious, while Sami takes a more entrepreneurial angle. Then, Taylor Swift is named the world’s richest female musician following the success of her Eras Tour, boasting a net worth of $1.6 billion. This leads Jordana and Sami to explore a potential engagement timeline for Taylor and Travis. Finally, they dive into the thrilling penultimate episode of Tell Me Lies and predict how this season might wrap up. Our Betch of the Week is Taylor Swift for making that coin, and in a surprising twist, no one gets sent to the Caymans—you're welcome!
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This week, Sami accidentally made 6 challah for Rosh Hashanah, Jordana shares her harrowing onion chopping accident, and Aleen reminisces about the ways she used to bribe Jordana to hang out in middle school. Most importantly, Jordana unveils her new custom 3 Betch Movers hoodie… We Here For You(r Move). Then, they dive into the headlines, starting with Lana Del Rey’s marriage to alligator tour guide Jeremy Dufrene, which simultaneously feels like something out of an alternate dimension and completely on brand. Millie Bobby Brown and Jake Bongiovi shared wedding photos of their own this week, and they’re so very young, but we wish them all the best. Next, some Diddy updates and celeb death conspiracy theories (including a spooky Britney Spears/Brittany Murphy crossover). Onto film and TV, the trio share their thoughts on Nobody Wants This, Will & Harper, The Apprentice, and the trailers for Nicole Kidman’s Babygirl, and Amy Adams’ Night Bitch. Our Betch Of The Week is Lana for not giving a fuck and finding true love, and we’re sending onions (and knives) to the Caymans for maiming Jordana’s finger. Shana Tova!
We’ll be back next week at our new Friday 6AM EST release time!
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This week, Sami fills Aleen and Jordana in on her experience at Charli XCX and Troye Sivan’s Sweat tour at MSG featuring Lorde and Addison Rae, and they get into the differences between the current grunge vs Barbie pop girl aesthetics. Next, Jordana’s been watching a few things that hit Netflix this week, and she has *thoughts*. First up, her review of Ellen Degeneres’ new and final comedy special (who let her believe this was the material to go out on?) Then, they recap of some of the updates in the Diddy case - keep an eye out for a deeper dive coming soon. Speaking of true crime, the new season of Monster hit Netflix this week, with The Lyle And Erik Menendez Story, and Jordana gets into whether or not it nailed the tone… Ryan Murphy might need to take a step back from that genre as a whole. And finally, Jordana shares something worthy of a recommendation: the documentary Into The Fire: The Lost Daughter. We’re sending Ryan Murphy to the Caymans for his Menendez misstep, and our Betches of the week are Charli XCX, Troye Sivan, Lorde, and Addison Rae.
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This week, Aleen, Jordana, and Sami talk about their recent experience playing tennis together, and Sami walks them through the high drama of her HOA. Then, they share their thoughts on the new Sopranos documentary Wise Guy, season 2 of Tell Me Lies, and The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives. Onto the headlines, Diddy was arrested this week and is being held without bail, and 50 Cent was quick to roast him on social media (too soon?). J Lo and Ben were spotted *allegedly* getting cozy at brunch, and it’s giving us whiplash. And finally, Kate Middleton has returned to her royal duties after completing her cancer treatment, and Jordana, Sami, and Aleen unpack the eerie video she released last week to announce the good news. Our Betch Of The Week is MomTok’s own Taylor Frankie Paul, and we’re sending Ben and J Lo to the Caymans yet again, because we’ve had enough.
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This week, Sami, Aleen, and Jordana catch up on airplane shoe etiquette (on or off in the bathroom?) before diving into last night’s VMAs, from live performances to fashion choices. Taylor swept for Fortnight, but we’re not buying it as the legitimate Song of the Summer. Meanwhile, Taylor and Travis are doing everything in their power to make us forget about that publicity breakup conspiracy document, and honestly… it’s kind of working. In related billionaire news, Selena Gomez officially joined the club this week, with the success of Rare Beauty. We love a self-made woman, and we will be sat for her upcoming film Emilia Perez. Up at TIFF, JLo and Matt Damon were spotted having an intense conversation while holding hands at the after party for Unstoppable, which stars JLo and is produced by Matt and Ben’s production company. What could they have been talking about? And finally, Netflix’s The Perfect Couple dropped this week and we have… critiques (except for Dakota Fanning, who was perfect). Listen for the full rundown on why it didn’t work for us. Our Betch of the Week is Selena, and we’re packing the plane to the Caymans with the writers room of The Perfect Couple.
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This week, we kick things off with Jordana’s peak and pit of France, Aleen’s celeb citing at Oh, Mary on Broadway, and Sami’s anniversary gift dilemma. Then, they catch up on their US Open experiences before sharing an exciting announcement: Betches Sports has officially launched on the Betches website! If you’ve ever felt left out by most mainstream sports coverage, Betches Sports is here to change the narrative, starting with The Betchdel Test. Speaking of sports, a (probably fake) document claiming to be Taylor and Travis’ breakup plan leaked on Snapchat this week, and Sami shares a few conspiracy theories of her own. And finally, Jordana is fully obsessed with Chappell Roan and her IDGAF*ckyness. Come back next week for their thoughts on the new season of Tell Me Lies once Aleen catches up. “Emily” from the leaked Tay/Trav Snapchat is simultaneously our Betch of the Week and getting sent to the Caymans, because whoever orchestrated this mess deserves it.
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This week, Jordana’s in France, but Sami is back from DC and catches Aleen up on her time at the DNC, including those Beyoncé rumors. Aleen shares news of her upcoming move and a fun interior decorating discovery with her daughter. The much-anticipated 2nd season of Tell Me Lies is dropping next week, but until then, Aleen is loving Industry (aka X-rated Suits). Bethany Frankel had a cringeworthy run-in with Danielle Olivera in the Hamptons and acted like she was too old to know who she was, but Sami and Aleen aren’t convinced. Brittany Cartwright filed for divorce from Jax Taylor this week, which is yet another reason to tune in to season 2 of The Valley. And what is going on with the Kardashian-Jenners and their cryptic posts about tea? Are they launching a new product… or a podcast? Most importantly, it looks like Aleen may have been right about Kylie and Timmy. In other news, Sabrina Carpenter’s new album is on repeat, but are she and Barry Keoghan still together (or were they ever? It’s giving PR relationship). Congrats are in order for Hailey and Justin Bieber’s new baby Jack Blues, and a tentative congrats to Lana Del Rey on her new relationship… do you think they met on one of his alligator tours? Ben Affleck also sparked relationship rumors with Kick Kennedy, which took us all down yet another weird RFK animal horror story. Our Betch of the Week is Lana for being one of the realest in the game, and we’re sending Armie Hammer right back to the Caymans to escape the LA gas prices.
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This week, Sami is away at the Bravocon of politics (aka the DNC), so Aleen and Jordana are here to cover this week’s headlines. Aleen kicks things off with her recent online shopping headache, before they dive into celeb news. First up, J Lo has finally filed for divorce from Ben Affleck on the 2nd anniversary of their Georgia wedding, while Ben is in New Haven with the other Jen dropping their daughter off at Yale. Was This Is Me…Now their 2nd Gigli? And how could they not have a prenup? Next, is the “demure” trend over or are we just too old to participate? Either way, we’re happy for Jools Lebron’s viral hit. Speaking of successful women in media, Alex Cooper of Call Her Daddy fame inked a massive deal with SiriusXM. Just don’t call her the female Joe Rogan. And finally, despite rumors to the contrary and those of us (Jordana) who didn’t even know they were together to begin with, Dakota Johnson and Chris Martin are still very much engaged, if her massive emerald ring is any indication. We’re sending Fashion Bunker to the Caymans to sort out their customer service, and our very demure, very mindful, very cutesy Betch of the Week is Jools Lebron.
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This week, Sami, Jordana, and Aleen wish Ben Affleck a very happy 52nd birthday, and share their theories on JLo’s recent public sightings with Ben and Jen Garner’s kids. Then, they dive back in to the continuing drama around It Ends With Us. Who is winning the PR war? Does rude behavior in an interview mean Blake is a true mean girl, or are her jokes just not landing? Next, several people have been arrested in connection with Matthew Perry’s death, including two of his doctors. We’ll be keeping an eye on the case as it develops. In true crime news, Jordana watched Netflix’s new Laci Peterson docuseries, and gives Aleen and Sami a refresher on the case. Our Betch of the Week is Lily Collins, because we can’t wait to get home and watch the new season of Emily in Paris, and we’re sending Blake, Ryan, and Justin to the Caymans to do a team building exercise together.
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This week, Sami, Jordana, and Aleen kick things off with two very important discussions: which fast food chicken place is the best, and would you have chosen Big or Aiden in the SATC universe? In other news, Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively have been all over social media with their respective films’ press tours. Is Blake Lively a “crown straightener,” or was she mean to Leighton Meester in the Gossip Girl days? Speaking of cast feuds, what is going on with Justin Baldoni versus everyone else in It Ends With Us? He’s almost suspiciously emotionally intelligent. Meanwhile, why didn’t Ryan Reynolds acknowledge Matthew Macfadyen in any of his Deadpool & Wolverine posts? And why hasn’t anyone except Aleen noticed? Then, Jordana and Aleen share their thoughts on the House of the Dragon finale (spoiler: Aleen is pissed), and Jordana catches Aleen and Sami up on all the RHONJ finale drama. Our Betch of the Week is Blake, and we’re sending Luis Ruelas to the Caymans for saying he hopes Margaret Joseph’s son suffers.
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This week, Sami, Aleen, and Jordana kick things off with their favorite Olympics moments so far, including the US Women’s gymnastics team’s incredible win and Simone Biles having the last laugh over MyKayla Skinner. Next, we dive into the world of Ballerina Farm, the viral Times article, and trad wife culture in general. Are they that different from any other lifestyle influencer? Onto celeb news, Ben Affleck bought a $20 million mansion while the $60 million one he shares with JLo still languishes on the market. Can they just announce their separation already so we can all move on? In the world of Bravo, Carl Radke announced his new non-alcoholic venue Soft Bar + Cafe, and we have some constructive criticism on the name. Jax Taylor is reportedly getting some help with his mental health, and we’ll be tuning in when season 2 of The Valley comes back to see how he and Brittany are handling their separation. And finally, Bill Maher has a lot of opinions about Taylor and Travis that he shared with none other than the Hawk Tuah girl. Our Betch of the Week is the entire US women’s gymnastics team, and we’re sending the Times journalist for her mean-spirited article.
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This week, Aleen, Jordana, and Sami jump right into it with the latest Bennifer updates. JLo’s in the Hamptons celebrating her 55th bday with an extravagant Bridgerton-themed bash, while Ben Affleck is on the other side of the country inspiring less-than-flattering headlines about how he might be coping with their alleged separation. In global news, the CrowdStrike outage resulted in mass disruptions for airlines and hospitals, which is a good reminder for Aleen and Sami to get back to work on their bunkers. Next up, the royal family caused a stir with a report that Prince William earned over $30 million last year… no wonder he got such good Taylor Swift seats. And while we’re over in the UK, Matthew Macfayden (aka Tom Wambsgans) did an interview claiming he wasn’t “dishy enough” to play Mr. Darcy, and respectfully, we beg to differ. The Paris Olympics opening ceremony is tomorrow night, and we’ll be tuning in to Celine Dion and Lady Gaga’s La Vie En Rose duet. And finally, Aleen and Jordana share their thoughts on the Presumed Innocent finale. Our Betch of the Week is Matthew Macfayden for being enough for us, and we’re sending the CrowdStrike CEO to the Caymans, but he’s gonna have to suffer through a few canceled flights on his way there.
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This week, we’re kicking things off with a huge congrats to Sami for reaching number two on the NYT Best Seller list with Democracy In Retrograde! This week also marks the release of The Tummy Ache Issue on Betches.com, and Aleen, Jordana, and Sami share some of their embarrassing gastric stories. Onto the celeb headlines: Mauricio Umansky was spotted in Mykonos kissing a mystery blonde… Do you think they went to Nammos? And are any of the remaining RHBOH couples actually real? Speaking of Bravo, Tom Sandoval filed a new lawsuit against Ariana, in a mission to keep his Most Hated Man In America title. In other legal news, Alec Baldwin’s criminal trial has been dismissed, which is great news for the TLC show. Across the pond, Kate Middleton made a rare public appearance at Wimbledon, looking gorgeous in purple. Aleen’s determined to attend next year, and Jordana’s taking lessons so she’s practically tournament ready. And randomly, Ozzy Osbourne has had quite enough of Britney Spears’ dancing videos, not that she cares… although low key we did have to unfollow. Finally, we wrap with a segment called You Deserve A Treat, brought to you by Hill’s Pet Nutrition, to go over some self care goals for the coming week. We’re sending Tom Sandoval to the Caymans yet again, because, in Jordana’s words, that guy stinks. Our Betch of the Week is the Princess of Wales for her much deserved standing O at “the” Wimbeldon.
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This week, Aleen is back from Greece with a hot take about Mykonos, and an even hotter sunscreen conspiracy theory that she needs Sami and Jordana to weigh in on. Sami’s new book, Democracy In Retrograde, is in high demand in stores *and* at the library (ever heard of it?). In celeb news, Lindsay Hubbard is pregnant and made the announcement in true Lindsay fashion: via a sponsored post. Did Dorinda really spill the news to The Traitors’ producers and get her axed from the show? Speaking of pregnancies, Gypsy Rose Blanchard is expecting a baby with her boyfriend Ken, and we would totally watch their TLC show. Jordana is finally caught up on the Hawk Tuah girl…the American Dream has truly evolved so much in our lifetimes. We’re excited for the sequel to The Devil Wears Prada, and a little frustrated by House of the Dragon season 2 (someone please get Jordana a character guide ASAP). And is Ellen DeGeneres actually leaving fame behind after her Netflix special drops? Finally, we wrap with a segment called You Deserve A Treat, brought to you by Hill’s Pet Nutrition, to go over some self care goals for the coming week. We’re sending Nammos Mykonos to the Caymans for bamboozling Aleen, and our Betch of the Week is the Hawk Tuah girl for signing with UTA.
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This week, Aleen may be in Greece, but Jordana is looking tan, which according to her dermatologist is *not* a compliment. Sami reveals her meteorology skepticism (climate change is real, but weather apps are fake). Jordana and Sami share their thoughts on Celine Dion’s new documentary… JLo’s doc is feeling more insignificant by the day. Speaking of JLo, a new update suggests she and Ben have actually been separated since March, and Ben has been looking to Jennifer Garner for advice on the situation. Listen to find out what we think that advice actually is. Then, Sami explains Charli XCX and her new album Brat to Jordana, and they discuss their Summer House season 9 predictions. Finally, they wrap with a segment called You Deserve A Treat, brought to you by Hill’s Pet Nutrition, to go over some self care goals for the coming week. Our Betch of the Week is, of course, Celine. And we’re sending Ben Affleck’s publicist to the Caymans to figure out how to make him look less miserable in the tabloids.
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