Episodes
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Claudia McGuire
Kay Daigle
Several weeks before the election, Claudia McGuire and Kay Daigle discussed seeking joy in the Psalms. Our hope and prayer is that whether the candidate you voted for won or lost, you can raise your voice in thanks to God for his love and care today and find his joy.
About half of us are likely disappointed in the results, whatever they may be. Although we may not understand what God is doing in our world, we can trust his heart and his wisdom, knowing that his priority is his kingdom, not an earthly one.
Relying on what we know about God's power and his character, knowing that our God is the true ruler whom we all seek, and recognizing that he has purpose in whatever has happened, we seek joy in the Psalms today.
Recommended resources
Video/podcast episode with Nika Spaulding Cultivating Joy
CSB Scripture Notebook: Psalms which includes journaling pages
Near to the Heart of God Bible study on selected Psalms
This episode is available on video as well.
Timestamps
00:21 Introduction
01:08 Why be joyful and why the Psalms?
03:18 Claudia goes through Psalm 23, sharing what it has meant to her life
22:13 Kay's experience finding joy in the Psalms
27:26 Kay goes through Psalm 27, sharing how it helps her find joy
34:54 Insights
39:37 Other resources
TranscriptKay >> Welcome to the Beyond Ordinary Women podcast and video. I'm Kay Daigle your host today. And I am joined by Claudia McGuire. Welcome, Claudia. I'm glad you were able to join me today.
Claudia >> Me too.
Kay >> Claudia and I attended Dallas Seminary together, and it's getting to be a long time since that happened. I was thinking about it's being a long time. That's where we first met, I think.
She has served on our BOW ministry team since its inception, and she brings a wealth of experience and knowledge in life and in ministry to our conversation. But you can read more about her on her bio on our website at BeyondOrdinaryWomen.org.
Our topic today is Seeking Joy in the Psalms. Before we start, I want to make it clear that we recorded this session in October weeks ago from when it drops. So we don't know what happened in the election, but we guess that about half of the people in the country are upset this morning as this particular episode goes online.
Of course, that assumes that the results are in and we have no idea when that will actually happen. But as we think about today, the day after the election, and even ongoing, it's important just to remember that joy is an important quality for Christians. Whether there's disappointment, whether there's fear—no matter what it is—God wants us to have joy instead. And joy is a fruit of the Spirit.
So it is something we all should be exhibiting because we are believers and the Holy Spirit lives within us. So we should want to seek joy. That's the reason we decided to have this particular episode on Seeking Joy in the Psalms. I have found that the Psalms are a great place if you don't feel that you are joyful, If you're struggling, or if you're unhappy in any situation. It may have nothing to do with an election. But whatever it is, whatever your circumstances are, the Psalms are a great place to go.
So the big question is how do we as Christians handle bad news in general? Grief? hard times? whatever it is? How do we as God's people of faith deal with those things? And how do we exhibit joy in the midst of that?
So the Psalms are going to tell us to put our joy in the Lord.
Claudia's going to start us out.
Claudia, what Psalm has really been meaningful to you when you've dealt with things that are hard, things that your circumstances, that you're struggling in? Is there a certain psalm that you go to?
Claudia >> Yes, especially for the past two years. I think I have one that I have gone to over and over. I find that sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night and I just start saying it to bring peace into my sleep, -
Kelly Arabie
Kay Daigle
If you're struggling with prayer, we have some practical prayer solutions. Kay Daigle and Kelly Arabie discuss some of the causes and practical ways to get past them.
Do you long to feel successful in your prayer life instead of dealing with distractions, repetition, a disorganized prayer list or the fear of praying with others? Kay and Kelly confront all of these issues and provide practical solutions to your prayer struggles.
You can link to the video version of this conversation if you prefer.
Resources
You can access the slides from the video version of this podcast.
Or you may want to browse BOW's other resources on the topic of prayer.
Suggested printed resources
CSB Scripture Notebook
John Bailee – Diary of Private Prayer
Valley of Vision: A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions
Every Moment Holy – Volumes 1,2,3
The Book of Common Prayer
Lectio 365 app
Time Stamps
00:33 Welcome & introductions
03:19 Solutions for distractions
10:13 Solutions for repetitive prayers
17:38 Navigating prayer requests
21:22 Organizing prayer requests
27:13 Praying aloud with others
40:51 Praying in tough times
42:27 God wants you to talk to him
43:57 Closing prayer
44:38 Other prayer resources
TranscriptKelly >> Hello and welcome to the Beyond Ordinary Women podcast. I'm Kelly Arabie and today I'm talking with Kay Daigle. The podcast that we're doing today is Practical Prayer Solutions. Kay, I'm so excited that you reached out to me about this topic when we talked about the two podcasts that we would be recording this month. Bible Study and prayer were two things that I was really excited to talk with you about.
So I'm glad that we're going to be talking about prayer today. I can honestly say that's not always the case. Maybe earlier in my life I can remember one of the first women's retreats I helped plan. The topic was on prayer. And when that was announced, it kind of went over like a lead balloon. It was perhaps not the most the topic that everybody was excited about.
And I say that regretfully, I have learned a lot in my spiritual life in the area of prayer. And I know that there's a lot that you have experience with and have to say to that as well. Tell me a little bit about why you wanted to record today.
Kay >> Well, I'm excited about this recording too, Kelly. In January. the women in charge of the Bible study that I've been part of in our church asked me if I would, they actually asked me in the fall, but they asked me if in January I would do a four part series, just more of a lecture format, on prayer.
And they just really left it up to me as to what to do. And so I had a plan for that. But I also realized that there are impediments to prayer. Things that stop us from praying, or we're not comfortable with it, or whatever. So that very first week I passed out blank cards to all the women who were there, and I asked them to write down what was the hardest thing for them about prayer. And these practical solutions are the answers that we discussed over those four weeks.
And I was really amazed at the variety of problems they came up with. But these were the main four. These were the ones that the most people commented on. And I thought that perhaps this would be helpful to our larger audience as well, because it really seemed to be meaningful to some of the women in the group.
Kelly >> So what are some of those impediments to prayer?
Kay >> Well, the first one that I covered (and this was even before I had the cards, because I needed to go ahead and talk about something), is something that people had told me over and over. I'd already been hearing it, and that is distractions. We start praying, and then we're distracted by other things, and we get our minds off it and often never go back to prayer—or just cut it short, whatever.
And I think there are a lot of ways we can deal with that, -
Missing episodes?
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Kelley Mathews
Becky Loyd
What is the state of ministry to women today? Lifeway conducted a survey to find the answer. In this episode BOW Minister Team Member Kelly Mathews interviews Becky Loyd of Lifeway about what their survey revealed about women's ministry in the local church.
The results provide facts and figures that support the need for women's ministry in the local church and encourage and challenge the women in its leadership. These findings reveal how valuable a women's ministry is to a church.
You can link to the video version of this episode if you prefer watching it. You may also benefit from looking over BOW's other resources on the topic of women's ministry.
Time Stamps:
00:21 Introductions
02:51 Survey results
11:00 Work still needing to be done
15:26 Volunteer vs. paid women leaders
22:44 Why approach your pastor?
25:38 Encouraging women leaders who are underpaid, etc.
29:14 Closing comments & other resources
Resources:
https://research.lifeway.com/state-of-ministry-to-women/
TranscriptKelley >> Welcome to Beyond Ordinary Women Ministries. I am Kelley Mathews, your host today. And with me I have Becky Loyd. Becky is with Lifeway, but I feel like you've had a new title change here recently. Can you give me a sense of what you're doing now?
Becky >> Yes, I have had a new title change, but I am acting as my previous title as the director of Lifeway Women. So I have actually been at Lifeway for 24 years, if you can believe it. I worked a lot my time in our kids ministry area until about 2010. And then I grew up and graduated to work with adult and women's ministries.
And just in the past few months, I don't know if this is growing up or I don't know exactly what this is, but I am working on our really strategic planning for all of Lifeway. So working across all of our different ministry areas and making sure we're aligned going in the same direction to serve church leaders.
It's interesting, I was called to ministry. My dad was a Minister of Music. So ministry is in my blood and when I was about to kind of enter the workforce, I had a moment where it was, should I go to seminary? And I applied and did all the things and then I ended up in business school.
And so I've been doing. You hate to call it the business of ministry but that's really the gifting that God gave me. And so I have been working at Lifeway serving church leaders and churches for the last 24 years. And it's been the time of my life. I love it.
Kelley >> Fantastic. And no one at a business like that would want to ignore such talent on the business end of things because it's certainly needed. So that's awesome.
So we heard of you because of your time as director of the women's ministry there, and there is a survey that was put out. Before I go there, I understand you're an LSU tigers fan?
Becky >> Well, yes, I did get my undergrad and graduate degree from LSU. Go Tigers.
Kelley >> Well, go Tigers. Same here. So we have a lot in common already just like that.
Becky >> Woo-hoo!
Kelley >> I know. I love it. Couldn't resist. Sorry.
But also, I have been in the Baptist world in ministry and women's ministry. And so I feel like this connection is pretty natural here. And I was very interested to see the report that came out just last year on the state of women or the state of ministry to women. So let's talk a little bit about that and what caused you and your team to put it out.
Becky >> Yeah, it's really interesting. Lifeway is an entity that serves all parts of the local church - worship ministry, kids ministry. We serve many, many different parts. And as a person who my job is really to advocate for the work that we are doing for women at Lifeway, I found myself saying over and over again, women are underrepresented on the church staff.
I think I said it so many times that the guys just kind of rolled their eyes. When I'm in a meeting and my guys don't forget, -
Nika Spaulding
Sharifa Stevens
Cultivating joy is an important part of our discipleship, as Nika Spaulding explains to Sharifa Stevens, BOW Team Member. Nika explains what joy is and why it is important for disciples of Jesus to manifest this fruit of the Spirit. We can have joy even when experiencing sorrow and duress. Both can be true at once. Cultivating joy in any situation of life allows us to look more like Jesus, especially during this time when leaders are causing God's people to fear.
This episode is also available on video if you prefer watching it.
Timestamps:
00:33 –Introductions
02:47 - What is joy and how do we see it in others?
07:37 - God delights in us
14:50 - How does believing that God delights in us affect us?
15:17 - God's love and joy are constant
16:00 - What does cultivating joy look like?
21:45 - Joy under duress and sorrow
25:14 - Feeling two things at once
28:00 – Jesus' example
29:19 – Giving people permission to lament
30:54 - Importance of modeling joy
34:03 - The goal is looking like Jesus
34:10 - Joy is vulnerable
38:49 - Resources
Resources
The Other Half of Church: Christian Community, Brain Science, and Overcoming Spiritual Stagnation By Jim Wilder
BOW series with Nika Spaulding on Lament: 1- Understanding Lament and 2- Practicing Lament.
TranscriptSharifa >> Hello everyone, and welcome to another episode of Beyond Ordinary Women. I am your host for today, Sharifa Stevens and I have the distinct pleasure of talking with Nika Spaulding today. Let me tell you a little bit about Nika. Nika is a proud graduate of both the University of Oklahoma and Dallas Theological Seminary, where she has a Master of Theology.
She's currently working on her Doctor of Ministry at Northern Seminary. God gave her the privilege of planting a church in Oak Cliff, Texas, called St Jude Oak Cliff, where she is Resident Theologian. And when she's not cheering on her Sooners, playing with her cat, Clive, who we might see later, or enjoying a good meal with her friends, she's probably sneaking off to Oklahoma to snuggle with her favorite humans, her nieces and nephew.
Nika, thank you for joining us today.
Nika >> Oh, I'm excited to be here. It's good to see you, friend.
Sharifa >> Good to see you, too. And I'm really excited about the subject for today, which is Cultivating Joy.
Nika >> Yeah. A big topic.
Sharifa >> Right. It is! So let's get into it.
Nika >> Yeah. Love it. It's interesting. Before we started recording, you and I were talking about how this topic of joy seems to be coming up in our individual lives. And then, of course, we're talking about here. And really, I would argue starting in 2020, because of both global tragedy and then just tragedy in my own personal life, I was very acquainted with the idea of lament and grief and all of that.
And it's been a really sweet gift to come up a little bit and have the Lord drop this idea, this massive, huge idea of joy in front of me. And so it's a topic that I've talked about in both teaching opportunities as well as something I'm trying to cultivate on my current staff team at my church, and then also just in my own personal life.
And so it's a small, tiny, big, huge topic that we get to try to talk about today.
Sharifa >> Absolutely. And I hope later you can touch on this more, but it seems like there's always accompanied with joy, there's a sense of grief.
Nika >> Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.
Sharifa >> Let's just let's get into it. What is joy and can it be recognized in us and God, is it written all over our face?
Nika >> Yeah, it tends to be. One of the ways that I was reintroduced to the idea of Joy was I was talking to a friend about wanting to really come up with really good questions as part of a discipleship program. So my idea was, hey, I'd love to partner people together, have them ask really important questions about God, about themselves, about their neighbor, -
Amy Julia Becker
How do our churches and groups become communities of belonging? Our guest speaker, Amy Julia Becker, describes herself, "Through my writing and speaking, I desire to challenge assumptions about the good life, proclaim the inherent belovedness of every human being, and help us envision a world of belonging where everyone matters."
Amy is the author of To Be Made Well, White Picket Fences, Small Talk, and A Good and Perfect Gift. In this conversation Amy Julia joins Kay Daigle to talk about ways that churches can become communities of belonging for people with disabilities.
You can link to a video of this conversation if you prefer.
Don't miss BOW's many other resources on caring well for our neighbors.
Resources
Amy Julia has suggested some resources that work for groups that include people with disabilities. Two ministries, With Ministry and Bethesda, have created resources for groups that include people of all abilities. Also Erik Carter's Wheel of Belonging that provides a visual picture of the things people with disabilities need in order to feel that they belong. All of these resources can help churches and their groups become communities of belonging.
Timestamps:
0:33 –Welcome & introductions
03:37 - How are churches unwelcoming and how can we change that?
08:51 - Include the disabled in conversations about making the church more accessible and welcoming.
10:53 - Programs for those with disabilities & how to staff them
12:44 - Welcoming those with intellectual disabilities
15:05 - Resources to help churches
15:48 - Congregations who welcome disruptive people
21:23 - The church as a place of belonging
28:06 - Helping the parents and the disabled themselves
31:35 – Amy Julia's books
38:03 – What we all can do to incorporate people with disabilities
TranscriptKay >> I'm Kay Daigle and I'd like to welcome you to this episode of the Beyond Ordinary Women Podcast and Video Series. Our special guest today is Amy Julia Becker. Welcome, Amy Julia.
Amy Julia >> Thank you for having me, Kay. I'm really glad to be here.
Kay >> We are so excited to have you. Amy Julia is a writer, and I would call her a deep thinker. She's a disability advocate. She's a graduate of Princeton University and Princeton Seminary, where she earned a master of divinity degree. She's an author of a number of books, including A Good and Perfect Gift, White Picket Fences, Small Talk, and her latest book, To Be Made Well.
So, Amy Julia, let's begin by telling our audience what happened in your life that really caused you to see the world differently and become an advocate for people with disabilities?
Amy Julia >> Sure. Yeah. Well, again, thank you for having me. And I would say it's interesting because if I look back on my whole life, there have been multiple moments that have caused me to see the world differently. But the one that really changed my perspective or began a change in perspective in terms of disability came when I was 28 years old.
And my husband I had been married for a number of years actually. At that point we got married pretty young and we were having our first baby. And when I gave birth on December 30th, 2005, two hours later, actually, the nurse called my husband out of the room. He came back into the room and told me that the doctors suspected our daughter had Down syndrome.
I knew very little about Down syndrome at that time, or even anything related to disability and especially intellectual disability. And so I would not say that my perspective changed immediately, but that was the beginning of a really big shift in the way I thought about disability. But honestly, ultimately, it was a shift in how I thought about our humanity, not just in terms of my daughter, but in terms of all of us.
Kay >> I read your book that tells that story, and I so appreciated just your honesty about your feelings and the journey that you went through in that time. -
To BE the image of God---what does that mean and what difference does it make to you and me today?Nika Spaulding unpacks it for those of us who are unsure or perhaps our understanding is incorrect. To BE in the image of God is a crucial concept if we want to live out our identity in Christ and interact with people in the world around us as God asks us to do.Optionally, watch the video version of this episode.Nika's Suggested ResourcesBeing God’s Image by Carmen Joy ImesBullies & Saints: An Honest Look at the Good and Evil of Christian History by John DicksonBOW’s Resources on this topicLearning to Love our Neighbors podcast with Kay DaigleSexual Identity & Gender Identity podcast with Dr. Sandra Glahn and Dr. Gary BarnesRacial Reconciliation resourcesSexual Abuse & Church with Mary DeMuthCaring Well resourcesTimeStamps:0:32 – Intro01:04 - What does it mean to BE God’s Image?03:30 - How would the original audience of Genesis have understood this?10:01 - Where else does the Bible mention the image of God?15:44 - Are men and women equally God's Image?19:43 - Is the Bible anti-women?21:30 - Image of God wasn't generally taught for years23:12 - How the early church applied this24:35 - Common misunderstandings of the image of God25:47 - How do we apply this today?31:52 – Other resources to practically apply these truths TranscriptKay >> I'm Kay Daigle of Beyond Ordinary Women Ministries. Welcome to this podcast/video episode. Our special guest today is Nika Spaulding. Welcome, Nika.Nika >> Thanks, Kay. I'm excited to be here with you.Kay >> Well, it's always great to have you. We always love it when you are our guest. Nika is the Resident Theologian at St Jude Oak Cliff in the Dallas area. She has a Master of Theology from DTS and our topic today is about the image of God. We're talking about what it means to be God's image. Explain that a little bit for us, because I think we usually we would say what it means to be in the image of God, but what does it mean to be God's image?Nika >> Yeah, that's really good. I like that you clarify that because I think that's an important part of this conversation. We use the phrase image of God, or imago dei if you've heard the Latin one, this idea of humanity at the end of creation, God makes the heavens and the earth. He makes all these days; he fills the days. It's incredible.And then creation crescendos at the top and kind of breaks from the pattern. You sort of have a creation, day and night, creation, day and night, day, night. And then all of a sudden, the camera zooms in and God gets to the top of creation, which is in Genesis 1:26-27. Let's make mankind in our image male and female and you have this image language that gets picked up there.And what's really interesting about that is people forever have been talking about the image of God. It's a big idea in theology, but sometimes people will talk about it as if it's something you can do, or it's something that you receive, or maybe like you can bear it or you cannot bear it. And really I think an important distinction is, no, no, you just are the image of God. You don't do something to become the image of God. We just exist as the image of God because that's what it means to be human. It's all humans are the image of God rather than we can act like the image of God. And one of the distinctions that I like to make is sometimes people think that we are the image of God because we're rational.We were talking about pets before we hit record, and I love my dog more than I probably should. But I have to accept at some point that humans are more important than my dog. I may not emotionally accept that, but I can intellectually accept that on some level. And people will say, well, yeah, because you can reason, you can marry, you can logic, sort of all these things. And it's like, well, that then means people who with intellectual disabilities then don't image...
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Politics and discipleship--do they go together? How should church leaders approach politics? Well, politics and discipleship do relate, but not necessarily the way that some of us as Jesus followers think. Because of the division and confusion about this subject, we at BOW called for help for this highly partisan election year. Author Kaitlyn Schiess joins Kelley Mathews to discuss what having a healthier and more biblical approach to politics would look like.
Whether you're a church leader, a mentor or a parent, Kaitlyn can help you learn to communicate and assess political questions in a less strident way. Kaitlyn doesn't tell us how to vote, but instead she discusses about how to think and talk about this subject well.
This episode is also available on video if you prefer.
Politics & Discipleship Suggested Resources
Kaitlyn Schiess, The Liturgy of Politics, https://www.amazon.com/Liturgy-Politics-Spiritual-Formation-Neighbor/dp/0830848304
Kaitlyn Schiess, The Ballot and the Bible, https://www.amazon.com/Ballot-Bible-Scripture-American-Politics/dp/1587435969/
Vincent Bacote, The Political Disciple, https://www.amazon.com/Political-Disciple-Theology-Public-Ordinary/dp/0310516072/
Michael Wear, The Spirit of Our Politics, https://www.amazon.com/Spirit-Our-Politics-Spiritual-Renovation/dp/0310367190/
Connect with Kaitlyn on these podcasts:
The Holy Post Podcast, https://www.holypost.com
Curiously, Kaitlyn, https://www.holypost.com/curiously
Timestamps
0:32 - Introduction
1:19 - Why politics and faith?
4:35 - Who needs this conversation?
8:00 – How can church leaders/small group leaders, etc. approach politics in a healthy way?
12:34 - What are common challenges for pastors/leaders during election year?
16:47 - What are the deeper spiritual issues we need to grapple with?
17:16 - How would you address politics in a Bible study or small group?
22:19 - How is the Bible misused in our American culture?
27:40 - What would it look like for a church to have a healthy relationship with politics?
31:01 – Recommended resources
33:39 - Biblical instruction for our political lives
TranscriptKelley >> Welcome to the Beyond Ordinary Women Podcast. I am Kelley Mathews. And with me today is Kaitlyn Schiess. Kaitlyn is a friend from Dallas Seminary. I was long gone by the time she got there, but I went back on campus as a GTA and I actually interrupted a conversation she was having with Dr. Glahn, a mutual friend. And I learned later that that might have been the conversation where you guys were talking about you writing your first book. Was that right?
Kaitlyn >> Yeah.
Kelley >> Thank you. We're going to be talking about the church and politics because that's kind of like your shtick these days.
Kaitlyn >> Yeah.
Kelley >> And we welcome the wisdom you're going to share with us. So thank you for being here. Tell us how politics and faith became your go to topic.
Kaitlyn >> Yeah, I keep joking that it wasn't something that a career counselor ever said. You know, you really should talk about the two things you're not supposed to talk about at the dinner table - theology and politics.
Kelley >> Yeah.
Kaitlyn >> When I went to college, I thought I was going to go to law school. So I started out as a political science major, switched to history, but thought the whole time I would go to law school. And went to a school in Virginia, Liberty University, that was very politically involved in the years that I was there. There were a lot of politicians on campus. There were a lot of media on campus asking students questions.
So at the same time that I was at a place that politics and especially the relationship between faith and politics was really central to the conversation happening around me, I was also discerning a change that felt really scary at the time, really uncertain, from going to law school to going to seminary, which I had never considered and really had no model for that. -
Kay Daigle
What are the top 10 things not to do as a Bible teacher? Experienced and gifted Bible teacher and preacher Nika Spaulding joins Dr. Kay Daigle in this fun and informative discussion of the top 10 mistakes that they've made themselves or seen other Bible teachers make that are best avoided.
Are you a Bible teacher? If so, you've likely discovered some of these yourself, and we would love to hear from you. Reply with your comments so that all of us who teach the Bible can benefit from the wisdom of your experience. Check out the entire podcast episode or the video version to help you avoid the errors that Nika and Kay have made.
Don't miss the helpful resources found below or download the resource file.
Feel free to contact Kay at [email protected].
Podcast Topics
1:51 #10, Fail to compare interpretations from more than one source.
5:07 #9, Steal other people’s material, including their stories.
8:07 #8, Assume teaching is a gift and not also a craft.
12:41 #7, Shoot from the hip.
15:38 #6, Cram too much information into the talk.
18:50 #5, Teach topically when you’re teaching through a book.
22:30 #4, Try to be something or someone that you’re not.
25:45 #3, Prep entirely alone without feedback during the process and afterwards.
28:59 #2, Spend more time on illustrations and slides than in God’s Word.
32:07 #1, Forget that ultimately only God can move through what you say.
Suggested Resources for Top 10 Things NOT to do as a Bible Teacher:
John Dyer’s Best Commentaries
BOW’s webpage on Studying and Teaching the Bible
TranscriptKay >> Hi. I'm Kay Daigle of Beyond Ordinary Women Ministries. Welcome to this podcast and video episode. Today I'm talking with Nika Spaulding. Welcome, Nika. We're glad you're here.
Nika >> Oh, thanks, Kay. I'm glad to be here.
Kay >> Nika is the Resident Theologian at St Jude Oak Cliff in the Dallas area, and she has joined us on a lot of episodes, actually. And we're so happy to have her on this one. She and I talked about it, I don't know, a month or two ago, just the topic and are finally getting together to discuss it. And we're excited about it, thinking it'll be a fun episode for all of you, particularly you Bible teachers, because, what we're going to talk about are the top 10 things NOT to do as a Bible teacher.
I think that probably one or both of us have done most of these. There may be a couple that, I think I added one that I know for sure, I've seen somebody do and it wasn't good at all. So I think I did add one that I had not done but maybe Nika has done it. Maybe we've done all of these at one time or the other. So anyway, we're going to start like any good top 10 with #10. So Nika,
#10 – “Fail to compare interpretations from more than one source.”
Do you want to start talking about it or do you want me to?
Nika >> No, I can go and should we admit every time we've done it or should we just let people guess?
Kay >> I think I've already admitted.
Nika >> OK, fair enough.
Kay >> Yeah.
Nika >> This one I think I'm fairly certain I'm guilty of. And especially when you're first teaching the Bible, you can get overwhelmed with all the sources, right? You go, OK, I'm going to study John 1. And then you realize, oh my goodness, they're hundreds of commentaries on just John 1. So if you're not careful, especially if you belong to a certain theological tradition or a church tradition, you can tend to only look at those types of interpretation. And you don't look at what have we said throughout church history? What do people from different traditions say about it?
And so it's an easy mistake to make. But I know that when I started reading beyond my tradition, the passages became more rich and I began to understand them more deeply. And I think I became even more confident as I taught and looked at it.
What about you, Kay?
Kay >> I totally agree. -
What does helping women who struggle with porn look like? What can Christians, especially Christian leaders, do? Dr. Joy Skarka joins Dr. Kay Daigle to share her personal experience and knowledge to help Christians understand how to care well for women caught up in porn. Joy provides a wealth of information and practical suggestions for both Christian women who influence or lead other women and also parents who desire to protect their children. Helping women who struggle with porn is essential to loving our neighbors.
You can connect to the video version if you prefer. Don't miss the helpful resources found below or download the resource file.
Feel free to contact BOW at [email protected]. Joy has previously joined BOW to discuss Recognizing Rape Culture which is available as both a video and podcast episode.
Podcast Topics
0:31 Introducing Joy Skarka and her ministry
1:54 Joy’s story
3:40 A growing problem for women
6:03 How Christian women deal with this struggle
7:22 How porn impacts women
9:15 How should leaders begin conversations on this topic?
14:41 Preparing in advance to help someone
16:09 Helpful resources for parents
18:51 Resources for adults
19:19 How the struggle is different for men & women
21:59 Shame from watching porn
23:00 Discipling those caught up in porn
29:45 Recovery is a journey
30:32 Understand God’s design for sexuality
31:52 Any woman can help another woman
33:31 What resources does your ministry offer?
Joy Skarka’s Suggested Resources:
Joy Skarka, Her Freedom Journey: A Guide Out of Porn and Shame to Authentic Intimacy
SHE Recovery
Sexual Discipleship
Authentic Intimacy resources on freedom from sexual sin
Pure Desire Ministries
Curt Thompson, Soul of Shame: Retelling the Stories We Believe About Ourselves
Websites with Resources For Parents:
Birds & Bees
Defend Young Minds
TranscriptKay >> Welcome to the Beyond Ordinary Women Ministries podcast and video series. Today, our special guest is Dr. Joy Skarka, who is on the Authentic Intimacy Team. She has been doing that since 2020 and she has built there a transformational ministry for women dealing with sexual shame and pornography. So welcome, Joy. We are so delighted that you were able to join us.
Joy >> Oh, thank you, Kay. I just love the resources that you're creating, and I'm glad to be here.
Kay >> Oh, thank you so much. Joy previously has joined us for a podcast and video on rape culture. So if you missed that, you might want to look back for that. Today, though, we are talking about caring for women struggling with porn. And Joy actually has a book coming out about that. It is going to be called Her Freedom Journey: A Guide Out of Porn and Shame to Authentic Intimacy. When does that book come out, Joy?
Joy >> Yes, this July, July 2024. How come, Kay, we always get the hard topics on these podcasts, right?
Kay >> Yes.
Joy >> These are some hard topics that we're covering.
Kay >> It really is. And I really wanted to start really by talking about how in the world you got involved in ministering to women who struggle with porn.
Joy >> Right. It's not something people normally raise their hand and volunteer and say, hey, I want to talk about porn and helping women.
Joy >> You don't see a lot of women talking about it. So I'd love to just share a little bit of my story. And I think to sum it all up, God, took my pain point and made it my passion. He really just brought me to this place where I just had this burning desire to help other women because I couldn't find that help. And so flash back, I was in college and I had just experienced a date rape, which is kind of why we talked about rape culture on the last episode. So this is a follow up to my story there.
But I had experienced that trauma and I lacked a sex education, so I had no idea kind of what had happened, what was going on. And so that brought me to Google, -
Do you want to lead small group discussions toward spiritual growth? Do you feel you're just treading water with your small group? What can you do as the leader to cultivate disciples? Kelly Arabie and Kay Daigle talk about ways to lead small group discussions and promote spiritual growth at the same time. Grow as a leader so that you encourage spiritual maturity in this third of three videos/podcast episodes. Part 1 - Essentials, and part 2 - Preparation are available on podcast.
You can connect to the video version if you prefer. Don't miss the helpful resources found below. Feel free to contact BOW at [email protected].
Podcast Topics
1:29 Contrasting ways of leading small groups don't and do foster spiritual growth
3:10 Primary elements of good discussions
6:14 Allowing the Spirit to lead
7:06 Continuing to grow as a leader
7:46 Group dynamics
8:24 Leader as shepherd
9:24 Small group leader handbook
9:49 A word to leaders implementing this process
10:38 Action points from this episode
Action Points for Leading a Small Group Toward Spiritual Growth 3: Discussions
FYI: The “Open Questions” and Small Group Leadership Handbook resource links are found below, as well as on the “Podcast/Video Extras” page.
Journal about these questions or discuss them with a more experienced leader:
What do you think is the hardest part of leading a discussion and why?
How have you seen a small group leader deal with a problem well?
Why or why not should time for prayer as a group be prioritized?
Resources:
Action Points for Leading a Small Group Toward Spiritual Growth (PDF)
Asking Open Questions (PDF)
Women's Bible Study Small Group Leader Handbook (PDF)
Leading Small Groups (webpage)
Listening Well series
Asking Powerful Questions series
3 Practices for Spiritually Growing Small Groups (post)
3 Suggestions for Powerful Group Prayer (post)
Building Community in Small Groups? Share Life Stories (post)
5 Steps to a Terrible Small Group (post) -
Kelly Arabie
Small group leader preparation is required if we want to lead our small groups toward spiritual growth. Kelly Arabie joins Kay Daigle in the second podcast in this series of three so small group leaders can prepare well to be ready for the group meeting.
Sometimes we think of leading a small group as simply getting each member to talk and at the same time keeping the conversation on track. But if our goal is spiritual growth for the group members, it requires more than showing up and reading questions from the lesson. This kind of leadership requires deliberate preparation in several areas for the leader.
You can connect to the video version if you prefer, and don't miss the helpful resources found below. Feel free to contact BOW at [email protected] if you have questions. If you missed Part 1 of this series, Essentials, connect to the podcast.
Action Points for Leading a Small Group Toward Spiritual Growth 2: Preparation
(FYI: You can download the pdf version of these Action Points as well as the “Asking Open Questions” resource linked below under Resources.)
Journal about these questions, or discuss them with a more experienced leader:
What has been your understanding of discipleship previously?
How does it differ from what you heard on this video?
How is your learning different when it arises in a group discussion than when it comes from a sermon or lecture?
What most excites you about leading this kind of group?
Resources for Small Group leaders
Action Points for Leading a Small Group Toward Spiritual Growth (PDF)
Asking Open Questions (PDF)
Women's Bible Study Small Group Leader Handbook (PDF)
Leading Small Groups (webpage)
Listening Well series
Asking Powerful Questions series
3 Practices for Spiritually Growing Small Groups (post)
3 Suggestions for Powerful Group Prayer (post)
Building Community in Small Groups? Share Life Stories (post)
5 Steps to a Terrible Small Group (post)
Podcast Topics
0:33 Intro & defining a disciple
3:53 Discipleship in a small group
4:48 Describing the role of the small group leader
5:42 Understanding the leader's preparation
7:51 What does shepherding the group members look like?
8:18 Preparing in prayer
9:36 Preparing through the content
10:48 Action points for processing this episode -
What are the essentials for leading your small group to spiritual growth? You can take actions right now that will help! Listen to encouraging ideas from Kelly Arabie, BOW Ministry Team Member, and then incorporate those necessary ingredients to foster discipleship in your group. You'll soon be focusing on the essentials to lead your group toward spiritual growth yourself.
In this first of three episodes in this conversation, Kelly reveals her shepherd's heart as she explains and illustrates these necessary ingredients for Kay Daigle, Founder of Beyond Ordinary Women.
Alternately, you can connect to the video version if you want to watch the conversation and also listen in. And please don't miss browsing the helpful resources found below for leading small groups. If you have questions, contact Kay Daigle at [email protected].
Action Points for Leading a Small Group Toward Spiritual Growth 1: Essentials
Reflect on these questions by personal journaling or having a conversation with a like-minded friend:
What experiences have shaped your personal growth in small groups?
What would your ideal small group achieve?
What would it have to look like to make that happen?
Evaluate which area of a healthy Bible study small group found below you most need help with as you consider why you need help:
Peer Learning
Bible-based questions
Care
Practical skills leading a discussion
Reflect on this question through journaling or conversation with a like-minded friend:
If you have never led a group, which area most concerns you and why?
Resources:
Action Points for Leading a Small Group Toward Spiritual Growth (PDF)
Asking Open Questions (PDF)
Women's Bible Study Small Group Leader Handbook (PDF)
Leading Small Groups (page)
Listening Well series
Asking Powerful Questions series
3 Practices for Spiritually Growing Small Groups (post)
3 Suggestions for Powerful Group Prayer (post)
Building Community in Small Groups? Share Life Stories (post)
5 Steps to a Terrible Small Group (post) -
What is rape culture? Dr. Joy Skarka joins Kay Daigle to discuss it and ways to better care for and support victims in the church. Often the church is guilty of supporting rape culture. Joy speaks from her personal experience as well as her study and ministry focus on sexuality with Authentic Intimacy. This is a must-see episode for every disciple of Jesus. You can choose to watch it on video if you prefer. Don't miss the helpful resources found below.
Topics:
2:26 - Joy's story
4:01 – Clarification of terminology
5:26 – What is rape culture?
6:40 – Why do women not report rape?
9:51 – Christians often encourage rape culture
12:00 - Pornography's contribution
14:02 - An example from a sermon
15:47 – Women are Jezebels and men can’t control themselves – what do we do with that type of thinking?
20:26 – The theology of women taught in our churches affects the handling of sexual abuse claims.
21:46 – What practical steps can a woman in leadership in her church take to care for women who deal with sexual assault?
24:04 - Responding well to a woman who has been raped
26:18 - What can women do about “locker room” talk?
29:15 – Final encouragement
Resources:
Suggested resources from Joy Resources for Recognizing Rape Culture (PDF)
Rethinking Sexuality: God's Design and Why It Matters by Juli Slattery
We Too: How the Church Can Respond Redemptively to the Sexual Abuse Crisis by Mary DeMuth
Interview with Dr. Sandra Glahn, Author of Vindicating the Vixens
Sexual Abuse & the Church with Mary DeMuth -
Kelly Arabie
Kay Daigle
What are the best practices for women's Bible studies? Dr. Kay Daigle and Kelly Arabie provide practical help for Bible study leadership—small group leaders, administrators and teachers. Between them, Kelly and Kay have many years of experience teaching, leading small groups and developing their skills, often by trial and error. They hope to save you from their mistakes by sharing a few best practices for women's Bible studies.
You can watch this episode on video. BOW has produced many other helpful videos on women's Bible studies that you may profit from watching. Each video also provides a link to the podcast version.
Connect to these other resources designed to help you with Bible study leadership: Leading Small Groups, Bible Study Evaluation and Small Group Leader Handbook. -
Virginia Grounds
Virginia Grounds joins Sharifa Stevens to share her suggestions for persevering in ministry through hard times. Virginia speaks from her many years of ministry experience, and any disciple of Christ will find her suggestions helpful when life is difficult.
You can connect to the video version if you prefer.
To find other BOW resources to help you persevere in ministry, watch these videos.
Virginia's outline is available to download. -
Sharifa Stevens
Dr. Sandra Glahn
Dr. Sandra Glahn of DTS joins Sharifa Stevens of the BOW Ministry Team to discuss purity culture--why it came about, where it went wrong and how it can be corrected to be more biblical. An understanding of purity culture is needed for all of us involved in ministering to women.
Alternately you can watch it on video.
You may want to connect to the resources.that accompany this conversation, or to other podcasts/videos with Dr. Glahn. -
Jodie Niznik
Why take a personal retreat? Jodie Niznik, author, speaker and Bible teacher, joins Kay Daigle to discuss how a personal retreat helps us maintain a healthy spiritual life. For those in places of spiritual leadership, it is a must. It is also very beneficial to any Christian to take time to be alone with God because it nourishes anyone's soul. If you are feeling tired spiritually, consider taking a personal retreat.
Optionally, you can watch this conversation, and you may want to connect to all of BOW's resources on soul care. -
Michelle Clifford
Are the Christians in your church becoming pursuers of God? Or are they stuck, not growing and not knowing how to live out their faith?
Michelle Clifford has created a unique curriculum, Pursuit, to develop passionate followers of Christ. In this BOW podcast episode, she and team member Kelley Mathews discuss why she created it, its elements and how it works. She points out how Pursuit is different from the programs we often consider discipleship. Michelle has found that those who participate are indeed becoming pursuers of God. Her ideas may be just what you need for your church or those whom you disciple.
This episode is available on video if you prefer to watch. -
Claudia McGuire
How can we in the church show our support and love for widows? In this conversation with Kay Daigle, Claudia McGuire discusses the needs of widows and provides suggestions for churches and individuals to grow in understanding their grief and in finding practical ways to serve this community. Claudia's experience as a widow and a leader of a small group of widows provides her with the insights that can help us show support and love for widows.
This episode is also available on video.
BOW provides other resources that help Christians and our churches care well for others. -
Oletha Barnett
In this podcast episode Oletha Barnett concludes her series Fight Right on resolving conflict. Oletha suggests that we who are in conflict accept others' differences. That is the attitude required to resolve conflict, one of acceptance of others who are different than we are. Oletha calls us to accept others' differences in conflict.
The video version can be found here. If you missed the previous podcast episodes, you can link to Part 1 - The Nature of Conflict or Part 2 - Biblical Resolution.
Oletha has provided an outline to help you as you navigate conflict.
If you'd like to watch the entire series on video, it's available. - Show more
