Episodes
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We're a napkin-positive household. George is bad and Katy likes it.
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Derek's biggest fear is accidentally ordering lobster at a restaurant. Katy wants to know the distance in time. Elaine isn't in the mirror world.
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Missing episodes?
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There was a low rumble, a metallic squink, and a baffling galonk. Katy reconsiders the Bic Round Stic. Derek's nails don't grow like everyone else's.
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We try to remember how to podcast and more importantly, whether Katy has seen any of the Star Trek movies (she hasn't).
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We perform a table read of the abandoned Seinfeld episode "The Gun/The Bet", written by Larry Charles and deemed not funny enough and too dark to continue production. How many items can we make our child fetch so she's won't hear us say "sex"?
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Derek and Katy square off in the battle of the century to find out...whose cereal choices are better. DM us your vote for Katy's or Derek's lists @closetalkerspodcast on Instagram!
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Susan expires. George rejoices. Jerry dates himself. Kramer says hello. Elaine is also there.
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It's better than Ghandi. Somehow we get into conservative mouthpieces and "reversaries". Susan chooses the chicken.
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Katy's mic malfunctions and we hardly miss her. Derek reminds us of his deranged past as a bottle depositor.
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Warning: This episode is pretty gassy. Jerry Seinfeld thinks toxic masculinity is knowing how to order a drink. Derek doesn't believe blond hair and brown eyes is a thing.
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Thick does not mean chunk. We keep it short and silly for this terrible episode.
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The Friars Club serves turd burger. Derek has strong feelings about conductors again. Katy's mic was off and no one noticed.
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This episode goes off the rails and never comes back. Nothing we say can be used against us in a court of law.
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Katy wants a steady flow, medium pressure. Derek doesn't know what the other side of cabbage is. And can your pee tell you about your bones?
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Marisa Tomei loves short, stocky, funny bald men. Elaine loses her mind. Jerry is a very good boy. Derek thinks he is not related to his cousins.
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Elaine covets a bike, George claims a name, Kramer asked for Dijon and Jerry can't solve a mystery. That happens!
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This can only mean one thing - George is dead. Elaine's prank backfires and we describe how to steal a Ford Ranger.
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We're in a Taylor Ham scenario. Katy maintains overhand would get the rye up to the third floor. Derek tries not bring up butt chugging but it happens anyway. We all blame Rusty.
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Where's Susan? George is worrying an old friend with his behaviour, and everyone else is worried about Lloyd Braun. Elaine's shirt could be wetter.
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Derek believes a sponge will always get used. Katy had to do a hard target search for eye wipes. Kramer's walk is not worth talking about.
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