Episodes
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Hello Rank Squad!
It's Showtime once again in the Premier League, and so we're back to preview the season ahead of time in an episode that's become something of an annual tradition on Ranks FC.
Jack and Dean get stuck into a preview of where we are ahead of the curtain raiser on Friday night, first examining those teams in contention for the title and discussing whether this could finally be the time that Arsenal get the better of Manchester City in that race for the trophy.
Then it's on to the European contenders, opening with Arne Slot's new-look, same-players Liverpool, and working our way through Aston Villa, Tottenham, Manchester United, Chelsea and Newcastle United - the teams who made up last season's top eight.
After that we flip to the bottom to look at if we'll be having a repeat of the promoted teams being the ones to slip back into the Championship at the end of the campaign - can any of Leicester City, Ipswich Town or Southampton avoid succumbing to the yo-yo fate we saw last year?
We discuss the middle order too, before launching into a series of predictions for Golden Boot winner, most assists, Player of the Season, best new signings, surprise packages - for good and bad - and first managers to face the dreaded axe.
It's Ranks!
And remember, if you’d like more from the Rank Squad, including extra podcasts every Monday and Friday (including our weekly Postbox taking a look at the whole weekend of football) and access to our brilliant Discord community, then why not join us here on Patreon?
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Hello Rank Squad!
After looking at Premier League pre-seasons last week, we wanted to take things Continental this week, and take a dive into how things are looking ahead of the season for some of Europe's biggest clubs.
We start in Spain, where we examine a busy week for Atletico Madrid, talk through Real Madrid's big name summer and try to decipher just what's going on at Barcelona, before heading for Italy - to discuss a big summer for Juventus, and slightly more manageable ones for Inter and Milan.
Then it's off for a quick pitstop in France, to check in on the latest goings on in PSG's post-Mbappé era, before finishing in Germany with a look at Bayern Munich's big spending, and Borussia Dortmund's future.
As ever, we round things off with the latest episode of Dean's American Life, where DJ shares his experiences of his first live soccer game since moving to San Diego.
It's Ranks!
And remember, if you’d like more from the Rank Squad, including extra podcasts every Monday and Friday (including our weekly Postbox taking a look at the whole weekend of football) and access to our brilliant Discord community, then why not join us here on Patreon?
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Missing episodes?
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Hello Rank Squad!
Pre-season is firmly underway and we've seen a mixed bag from some of the clubs on everybody's lips right now. We've taken five Premier League teams and ranked them on how we think they're getting on - stacking up their expectations ahead of the season against the performances that we've seen so far.
We share our thoughts on Enzo Maresca's Chelsea, Fabian Hurzeler's Brighton & Hove Albion, Erik ten Hag's Manchester United, Ange Postecoglou's Tottenham Hotspur and Mikel Arteta's Arsenal - examining the squads, the games, and what we can ascertain from their on-pitch product in the warm-up act for the new season.
Before that, there's Things We Love, where Dean discusses the strange nature of West Ham United's transfer approach this summer, and Jack waxes lyrical about the brilliance of Emma Hayes' USWNT at the Olympics so far. And of course, the latest update of Dean's American Life finishes things off, where we learn about the 'incredible' season ticket he has purchased for...a car wash.
It's Ranks!
And remember, if you’d like more from the Rank Squad, including extra podcasts every Monday and Friday (including our weekly Postbox taking a look at the whole weekend of football) and access to our brilliant Discord community, then why not join us here on Patreon?
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Hello Rank Squad!
It's time for a return to one of our favourite staples on Ranks - those Players Who Need a Summer Move, and the clubs that we think should be absolutely desperate to get them in, because they'd fit so well. It's a bit of a bumper cast today - we have 12 different players to discuss, so we get straight into things!
Our discussion starts with Manchester City's Kalvin Phillips, before we talk Liverpool's Caoimhin Kelleher, Aaron Ramsdale and Eddie Nketiah of Arsenal, still-officially-at-Chelsea Romelu Lukaku, Atletico Madrid's João Félix, Brentford's Ivan Toney, Barcelona's Raphinha, Juventus' Weston McKennie, also-still-officially-at-Chelsea Kepa Arrizabalaga, finishing with the Leverkusen duo of Sardar Azmoun and Adam Hlozek.
Then, to wrap things up, Dean gives us the latest instalment from his New American Life segment, where he tells us about a successful attempt to finally get himself a cell phone.
It's Ranks!
And remember, if you’d like more from the Rank Squad, including extra podcasts every Monday and Friday (including our weekly Postbox taking a look at the whole weekend of football) and access to our brilliant Discord community, then why not join us here on Patreon?
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Hello Rank Squad!
With the international tournaments done and dusted (for now, we see you Olympics), it's time to take a look at some of the transfer stories that you might have missed over the last couple of weeks - in the shape of a ranking. We've put together a list of the teams who have come storming out of the blocks in this window - either to rectify the issues of the last campaign or consolidate ahead of the new one.
There's different ways of doing it - we discuss the youthful brilliance of Brighton's recruitment, Aston Villa's drive for depth, the brand-new midfield Juventus are hoping can inspire them back to glory, Bayern's Munich's big money overhaul, and of course the Galactico pull of Real Madrid - as well as looking at Benfica's business and Lyon's list.
Things We Love sees a discussion of Gareth Southgate stepping down and who Dean thinks are reasonable candidates to replace the man who's been in charge of England for the last eight years; and Jack's major problems with the UEFA Team of the Tournament from Euro 2024.
It's Ranks!
And remember, if you’d like more from the Rank Squad, including extra podcasts every Monday and Friday (including our weekly Postbox taking a look at the whole weekend of football) and access to our brilliant Discord community, then why not join us here on Patreon?
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Hello Rank Squad!
We're back with a second episode this week to take a look at the finals of both the Euros and the Copa America, which both take place on Sunday!
We start with the Euros, where England will take on Spain after both emerged as 2-1 victors from their semi-finals, after both going behind to early strikes. We discuss the semi-final performances, the key battle between Marc Cucurella and Bukayo Saka, the possibility of penalties, and why this one feels more on a knife-edge than a lot of people are suggesting.
Then it's across the Atlantic to preview the Copa final in Miami between Colombia and Argentina. The Albiceleste are reigning Copa and World Champions, but it's the challengers who have a sense of invulnerability going into this final - Colombia are 28 games unbeaten under Nestor Lorenzo and have been the standout team at the tournament. Could they upset the applecart for Messi in his new hometown, or will Argentina make it an unprecedented 3 trophies in a row for a CONMEBOL side?
It's Ranks!
And remember, if you’d like more from the Rank Squad, including extra podcasts every Monday and Friday (including our weekly Postbox taking a look at the whole weekend of football) and access to our brilliant Discord community, then why not join us here on Patreon?
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Hello Rank Squad!
With this episode releasing bang between the two semi-finals of both the European Championships and the Copa America, we've had to switch things up a bit this week, so we wanted to talk about some of the transfers that might come off the back of these Euros.
Dean selects five players to discuss - Riccardo Calafiori, Dani Olmo, Nico Williams, Ivan Toney & Matthijs de Ligt - and we talk about their potential destinations, where they might fit best, and any concerns we have with the profiles of players going into the right clubs.
Before that, there's Things We Love, where Dean discusses the current US obsession with getting Jurgen Klopp in as the next USMNT manager, and Jack pays homage to Thiago Alcantara - the midfield maestro who announced his retirement from the game this week.
It's Ranks!
And remember, if you’d like more from the Rank Squad, including extra podcasts every Monday and Friday (including our weekly Postbox taking a look at the whole weekend of football) and access to our brilliant Discord community, then why not join us here on Patreon?
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Hello Rank Squad!
It's been a funny Euros so far - some big guns with underwhelming performances, some strange results and group standings, but also a Final 8 that looks weirdly familiar - and that Jack thinks all have a chance of lifting that trophy (although admittedly some more than others).
We take a look at each of the eight quarter finalists - France, Portugal, England, Switzerland, the Netherlands, Turkey, Germany and Spain - and assess their chances of winning the competition, as well as the strengths and flaws that we've seen in each of them so far.
And finally, there's a nonsense ranking for you all of the best acts that Jack saw at Glastonbury, whilst Dean tells us what he would have seen if he was in Somerset, rather than San Diego.
It's Ranks!
And remember, if you’d like more from the Rank Squad, including extra podcasts every Monday and Friday (including our weekly Postbox taking a look at the whole weekend of football) and access to our brilliant Discord community, then why not join us here on Patreon?
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Hello Rank Squad!
We're now comfortably into the period of double international competitions, so it felt only right to do an episode that spent some time looking at what's happening on both sides of the Atlantic Ocean - picking out three big questions so far on both the Euros in Germany and the Copa America in the USA.
We start with the Euros, where we're discussing whether we think Spain are the real deal after their perfect group stage, if Portugal have solved the Cristiano Ronaldo conundrum up front and where that puts them in the contenders ranking, and if the Golden Generations of Belgium and Croatia have finally run their course!
Then it's over the pond for the Copa, and we start by questioning whether Brazil really have the firepower to go deep into this competition, discuss just how good we think Uruguay and Colombia really are after their hot starts, and think about whether the USMNT should be adjusting their expectations of this competition based on the quality (or lack of) that we've seen elsewhere.
Finally, Dean has some Guru Wisdom on the ticket pricing and stadium filling in the US for the Copa, and a plea to people to hold out for more reasonable prices ahead of the 2026 World Cup.
It's Ranks!
And remember, if you’d like more from the Rank Squad, including extra podcasts every Monday and Friday (including our weekly Postbox taking a look at the whole weekend of football) and access to our brilliant Discord community, then why not join us here on Patreon?
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Hello Rank Squad!
By the time you're listening to this, every single team in Euro 2024 would have played, and we asked our ever-brilliant Patrons for the questions to help shape an episode around what we've learned so far in the tournament.
We kick things off by discussing Kylian Mbappé's broken nose in the France-Austria game, how many games he will miss, and if it opens up an opportunity for young Bradley Barcola off the left wing, who replaced Mbappé for long periods in the PSG season just gone by.
Then it's on to England, where some of our Patreons (and Dean) are pretty happy with what they saw from the Three Lions in the opening win against Serbia, whilst others want more from this England team - and from Gareth Southgate, who is in charge.
We chat through the brilliant narrative of Christian Eriksen scoring on his return to the Euros with Denmark, before turning our attention to Germany, who won 5-1 against Scotland on the opening night. Nagelsmann's fluid attack is a talking point, as well as whether Germany's use of Niclas Füllkrug could be crucial to breaking open certain games in this competition.
Hungary are up next, and we talk whether being tipped to do well perhaps piled pressure onto them, and how they can move forward, as well as giving some love to Switzerland's majestic midfield pair of Granit Xhaka and Remo Freuler.
Onwards to Italy, who Jack was impressed by in their comeback win over Albania, and there's some more praise on the podcast for the ever-brilliant Nicola Barella, before we discuss if Albania can feel confident coming into their game against Croatia, and give some love to Spain - especially the performances of Lamine Yamal, Dani Carvajal and Fabian Ruiz.
And we wrap things up by talking about the Netherlands and whether Ronald Koeman's stubbornness is a blessing or a curse, big up what was an incredible performance from Romania, and look at whether they can continue that form against a Belgium side now under huge pressure after their shock loss against Slovakia.
It's Ranks!
And remember, if you’d like more from the Rank Squad, including extra podcasts every Monday and Friday (including our weekly Postbox taking a look at the whole weekend of football) and access to our brilliant Discord community, then why not join us here on Patreon?
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Hello Rank Squad!
After last week's European Championship preview shows, we've taken a plane across the Atlantic Ocean to take you on a whistlestop guide to the teams at this summer's Copa America, which will be taking place across the United States.
We examine each of the 16 teams in the competition, their chances of getting out of the groups (and going all the way), and how we think everyone is set as we enter a period of two simultaneous continental championships at once!
Dean takes favourites Argentina in Group A, whilst Jack discusses Canada, Chile and Peru.
In Group B, Dean's on Mexico duty, whilst Jack talks Ecuador, Venezuela and Jamaica.
Group C sees Dean discuss his new home team, the USMNT, whilst Jack covers Uruguay, Panama and Bolivia.
And finally it's off to Brazil for Dean in Group D, whilst Jack looks at Colombia, Paraguay and Costa Rica.
It's Ranks!
And remember, if you’d like more from the Rank Squad, including extra podcasts every Monday and Friday (including our weekly Postbox taking a look at the whole weekend of football) and access to our brilliant Discord community, then why not join us here on Patreon?
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Hello Rank Squad!
It's time to get stuck into this summer's international football, so here's the last in our series of Euro 2024 Preview Shows! We begin today with Group E, which includes Belgium's first tournament under a new head coach, Ukraine's Girona-powered attack, Slovakia's impressive left-hand side, and Romania's youth-injected underdogs.
Then it's onwards in Part Two to discuss the last four teams - Group F, which comprises a very strong Portugal side, a very fun Turkey side, a very confused Czechia side, and a quietly hopeful Georgia team making their major international tournament debut.
We talk each team's chances of progression and outright victory, as well as the players upon which their dreams will rise and fall, and the managers trying to guide their nations to glory.
If you haven't already, why not go and have a listen to our other two preview shows - discussing the other four groups and some of the major players in this tournament?
And for the link to our Euros Fantasy Football League - click here or use the code LmqWjA on the Official UEFA Euro 2024 Fantasy Game!
It's Ranks!
And remember, if you’d like more from the Rank Squad, including extra podcasts every Monday and Friday (including our weekly Postbox taking a look at the whole weekend of football) and access to our brilliant Discord community, then why not join us here on Patreon?
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Hello Rank Squad!
It's time to get stuck into this summer's international football, so here's the second of our series of Euro 2024 Preview Shows! We start with Group C, which include England's Three Lions who got to the final of the last tournament, a pessimistic Serbia looking for a bright end to a talented core, an ageing Denmark side who have opted for experience over change, and underdogs Slovenia, boasting talent at both ends.
Then it's onwards in Part Two to discuss tournament favourites France, a Netherlands side that should probably be better than they are right now, dark horses Austria under Ralf Rangnick's distinct style, and a Poland team who squeaked through to the tournament in the playoffs.
We talk each team's chances of progression and outright victory, as well as the players upon which their dreams will rise and fall, and the managers trying to guide their nations to glory.
If you haven't already, go back and listen to yesterday's episode discussing Groups A & B; and tomorrow we'll round off this series with the lowdown on Groups E and F.
It's Ranks!
And remember, if you’d like more from the Rank Squad, including extra podcasts every Monday and Friday (including our weekly Postbox taking a look at the whole weekend of football) and access to our brilliant Discord community, then why not join us here on Patreon?
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Hello Rank Squad!
It's time to get stuck into this summer's international football, so we're kicking things off ahead of the Euros with less than 10 days to go until the first game gets underway. We start with Group A, which include hosts Germany, the Tartan Army of Scotland, wily old Switzerland, and dark horses Hungary.
Then it's onwards in Part Two to discuss holders Italy, perennial challengers Spain, tournament specialists Croatia, and underdogs Albania.
We talk each team's chances of progression and outright victory, as well as the players upon which their dreams will rise and fall, and the managers trying to guide their nations to glory.
The second episode of the series, discussing Groups C and D, will drop on Thursday morning; and then on Friday we'll have the lowdown on Groups E and F.
It's Ranks!
And remember, if you’d like more from the Rank Squad, including extra podcasts every Monday and Friday (including our weekly Postbox taking a look at the whole weekend of football) and access to our brilliant Discord community, then why not join us here on Patreon?
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Hello Rank Squad!
It's that time of the year again - the club football finale in Europe, as the Champions League Final is upon us. This year's showpiece event is at Wembley, between Real Madrid and Borussia Dortmund, and we're here to break it all down for you.
We start by picking out three reasons why each should be optimistic about winning this final - Dean (as usual) goes in to bat for Real Madrid, whilst Jack takes a look at Borussia Dortmund's chances; before moving on the conversations to the key battles and players who could define the way that this game plays out.
Finally, we give our predictions, as well as taking a few from the Rank Squad; before discussing if we think Jude Bellingham would celebrate if he scores.
It's Ranks!
And remember, if you’d like more from the Rank Squad, including extra podcasts every Monday and Friday (including our weekly Postbox taking a look at the whole weekend of football) and access to our brilliant Discord community, then why not join us here on Patreon?
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Hello Rank Squad!
We thought it was a good time to put together our End of Season Awards Show, so here we are. We take some time to reflect on an incredible campaign, and discuss which players are in the running for our Player of the Season, Rising Star, Most Improved Player, Resurgence of the Year, Goal of the Season, Team of the Season, and Melon Team of the Season for good measure - looking across Europe's major leagues to give credit to the best (and the worst) of the campaign we've just witnessed.
Then, in Part Two, Jack dives into a few of the stories that might have slipped under your radar. Whilst we've all rightly heard about the exploits of Leverkusen, Aston Villa, Bologna and the like, there's a couple that perhaps have not quite hit the headlines they deserve. We talk about the remarkable seasons of Stade Brestois, Olympique Lyonnais, FC Heidenheim & Valencia CF.
And finally, in Part Three, Dean has some Guru Wisdom about the things he's most concerned about, ahead of the move to America - so if anyone has any tips on driving, tipping culture, and relocated patriotism, please let him know!
It's Ranks!
And remember, if you’d like more from the Rank Squad, including extra podcasts every Monday and Friday (including our weekly Postbox taking a look at the whole weekend of football) and access to our brilliant Discord community, then why not join us here on Patreon?
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Hello Rank Squad!
The domestic club season is drawing to a close. The continental league titles have mostly already been lifted, the Premier League title will be decided this weekend, and whilst there are still some important bits to figure out - the European continental competitions, the domestic cup finals, the fights for survival and the locking in of next season's European places - the season feels like mostly it's all over bar the shouting.
So we've turned our attention to the upcoming transfer window, which is going to be punctuated by international competitions in both Europe and South America, delving into which narratives are going to dominate and drive the discourse and write the headlines over the summer.
Dean puts his Transfer Guru hat on and explores five topics - Manchester United's centre-back search, the future of Victor Osimhen, the race for wingers with the X-Factor that top teams will be after, the domino effect on goalkeepers that might be set off by the departure of Aaron Ramsdale from Arsenal, and whether or not Newcastle United can keep hold of their two star players - Alexander Isak and Bruno Guimaraes.
Before that, we take a look at the appointment of Jesse Marsch as the new head coach of the Canada Men's National Team, and the interesting rivalry it sets up with both the USMNT and Gregg Berhalter himself, as well as why this feels like a big moment in the American's coaching career; and in Part Three Dean gives some recent personal Guru Wisdom on why you should always fight to the end, and never give up.
It's Ranks!
And remember, if you’d like more from the Rank Squad, including extra podcasts every Monday and Friday (including our weekly Postbox taking a look at the whole weekend of football) and access to our brilliant Discord community, then why not join us here on Patreon?
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Hello Rank Squad!
Champions League Takeaway is back to take a look at the second legs of the UCL semi-finals, where we saw Real Madrid beat Bayern Munich 2-1 and Borussia Dortmund win 1-0 in Paris to set up a clash of Yellow and White in London next month!
We start with Wednesday’s action, with Real Madrid's late, late show yet again to beat out Bayern and send the Bernabeu wild. Dean waxes lyrical about the never-say-die spirit of both the fanbase and this team, whilst Jack pours out some love for Joselu and questions some weird substitutions from Thomas Tuchel that seemed to put his team on the back foot in the closing stages.
Then in Part Two, we take a look at Tuesday – where Borussia Dortmund booked their place in the final with a backs-to-the-wall 1-0 win over PSG in Paris. Dean questions whether PSG will ever win this competition, given the roster of stars that have rotated through the French capital and failed, and Jack is impressed with the way that Borussia Dortmund earned their luck, and also a little bit disappointed with how Luis Enrique managed the game from a PSG perspective in the closing stages.
We finish with a little discussion about Kylian Mbappé and how his impending departure might have affected the club as a whole this season, as well as what the future might look like without him in Paris.
It’s Ranks!
And remember, if you’d like more from the Rank Squad, including extra podcasts every Monday and Friday (including our weekly Postbox taking a look at the whole weekend of football) and access to our brilliant Discord community, then why not join us here on Patreon?
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Hello Rank Squad!
It's time to go Continental for this week's episode, building a European Team of the Season from the big six leagues on the European mainland. There were a few more teams, players and contenders to analyse compared to last week's Premier League edition, so it's a dig into the depths for Jack to try and build something special from this season's standout stars.
We take a look across the Bundesliga, Serie A, Ligue 1, La Liga, Eredivisie & Primeira Liga to bring you the best 11 we can build based on the performances across the season, trying not to lean too heavily on any one particular team - and there's plenty of discussion and debate as we go.
Before that there's an ode to The Bag™️ which has survived its fourth season intact after correctly calling the winners of seven leagues again, and an interesting anecdote on why the Club Brugge-Fiorentina game in the Europa Conference League has been moved to Wednesday; and at the end, Dean asks Jack to help him stop feeling old and explain the basics behind the Kendrick Lamar-Drake beef which has dominated the discourse over the weekend.
It's Ranks!
And remember, if you’d like more from the Rank Squad, including extra podcasts every Monday and Friday (including our weekly Postbox taking a look at the whole weekend of football) and access to our brilliant Discord community, then why not join us here on Patreon?
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Hello Rank Squad!
Champions League Takeaway is back to take a look at the first legs of the UCL semi-finals, where we saw Borussia Dortmund 1-0 PSG & Bayern Munich 2-2 Real Madrid.
We start with Wednesday’s action, with Dortmund's win. Dean showers some love on Jadon Sancho, who dazzled down the right hand side for Borussia Dortmund - this is the man we loved the last time he was in the Bundesliga; whilst Jack lavishes some praise on Marcel Sabitzer, and discusses the dissection of PSG's midfield, who weren't able to gain any control over proceedings in Germany - as well as giving our thoughts on who progresses next week.
Then in Part Two, we take a look at Tuesday – where Real Madrid didn't play brilliantly, and yet came away from Munich with a credible 2-2 draw. Dean puts some more respect on the name of Vinicius Jr., and we discuss whether next season it could be him, rather than Kylian Mbappé, playing in the No. 9 role for Los Blancos. Jack has some nice things to say about Bayern's maestro Jamal Musiala, as well as some thoughts on a good night for Thomas Tuchel and his tactical tinkering - before we discuss who comes out on top in the second leg at the Bernabeu.
It’s Ranks!
And remember, if you’d like more from the Rank Squad, including extra podcasts every Monday and Friday (including our weekly Postbox taking a look at the whole weekend of football) and access to our brilliant Discord community, then why not join us here on Patreon?
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