Episodes

  • There is a default thought that stands as thread that weaves itself throughout the life of a person struggling with disordered or chronic anxiety.

    "How do I feel?"

    This week Josh and Drew are looking at this default thought and the impact it has on an anxious person. All living humans will ask this question probably every day in some form, but anxious humans ask it as their default appraisal and monitoring strategy. It becomes inflated and twisted and takes over life at a level that is not in alignment with actual safety. An anxious person has no room to act in accordance with their true selves or what they value because the default thought keeps bringing everything back to anxiety and discomfort all day long.

    If you're struggling with anxiety and find yourself on a default thought hamster wheel that you can't seem to get off, if you spend all day long checking in on how you feel, and if every situation you find yourself in always comes back to how you feel or might feel ... you're not alone in that and this episode is for you.

    ---

    Disordered Roundtables are here. Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

    ---

    Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -----

    Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

  • "When I am ill, my anxiety goes through the roof!"

    Does this sound familiar? Many people struggling with disordered anxiety will say that if they get sick or feel unwell (i.e. a cold, a sore throat, the flu, etc.) they find that they are extremely anxious. If you experience this struggle, its not just you.

    This week Drew and Josh are examining the mechanics behind your over-productive threat monitoring system and why being sick or unwell can often push you into high alert mode with your anxious mind constantly scanning, measuring, evaluating, and worrying about how you feel moment to moment.

    Anxious people are generally terrible at tolerating discomfort and uncertainty, and that nasty sinus infection that has you down is probably also doing a good job of triggering both of those things.

    Here's a spoiler alert (but listen anyway) ... choosing to actively involve yourself in persistent worry and body scanning and evaluating your safety when sick is not keeping you any safer or making you feel any better. Get the medical support you might need of course, but once you have your plan and you've DONE all you can do ... its time to practice tolerating that feeling of discomfort, the fear, and the uncertainty.

    ---

    Disordered Roundtables are here. Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

    ---

    Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

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    Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

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  • "Spiraling" is one of the terms heard quite often in the community of people struggling with anxiety disorders.

    There's a trigger like a thought or a sensation, then in short order you feel completely out of control, being dragged down into the pit of fear where you thrash about trying to make it stop but failing and just feeling worse and worse.

    This week on Disordered we're taking a closer look at what it really means to spiral. Is it a spiral, or an endless loop? Are you really out of control? What makes it feel that way? How do our old friends shock, attention, and resistance factor in here?

    If you find yourself often triggered into "spiraling", this might be the episode for you. Check it out!

    ---

    Disordered Roundtables are here. Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

    ---

    Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -----

    Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

  • How important is the concept of attention in driving an anxiety disorder and influencing the recovery process?

    VERY important!

    This week on Disordered we're up to our usual hijinks but also we're digging into the idea that attention - choosing to pay very close attention to how one feels and what one is thinking - is the primary driver of disordered anxiety. And if this is true - which we say it is - then working on moving your attention elsewhere even when that feels risky or unsafe or impossible would logically be a key component in the recovery process.

    This episode is a great companion to our Shock Attention and Resistance episode (episode 78) so if you haven't heard that one, check it out first, then come back and have a listen to this one.

    Naturally we're also sharing contributions from the community surrounding Disordered and tossing in some silly jokes and a healthy dose of understanding and compassion. Pull up a chair, or a pillow, or whatever, and join us for a while.

    ---

    Disordered Roundtables are here. Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

    ---

    Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -----

    Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

  • The struggle in an anxiety disorder is seen in two almost automatic responses to anxiety - we either obey it and do what it tells us we must do, or we resist it by trying to fight it, argue with it, and wish it away over and over.

    This week on Disordered Dr. Russ Harris - one of the world's leading advocates for Acceptance and Committment Therapy (ACT) - is here to chat about the principles of ACT, how we get hooked by anxiety, fear, and anxious thoughts, and how this can lead to a smaller and smaller life over time.

    We're even using some of Josh's personal experiences with anxiety as a mini case-study viewed the the ACT lens. And as usual, the episode is sprinkled with healthy doses of light-hearted humor and kind acknowledgement of what is an almost universal struggle for humans around the world.

    Thank you to Russ Harris for making time for us! To find out more about Russ and ACT:

    https://thehappinesstrap.com

    If you are a therapist or clinician interested in being trained in ACT:

    https://psychwire.com

    ---

    Disordered Roundtables are here. Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

    ---

    Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -----

    Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

  • How can you tell if you're getting better? How do you measure or at least see progress when working on recovery from an anxiety disorder? What happens if you're "doing it anyway" but not seeing progress?

    This week on Disordered we're looking at the "green flags" of anxiety recovery. What are the signs that tell you that you're making progress even when you might feel like you're not? How much of recovery is found in just doing it anyway? What if you're already doing it anyway and don't feel like you're making progress?

    Josh and Drew are answering some of these questions with reminders about the real targets of recovery, shifting attitudes, willingness to come into contact with difficult internal experiences, and steering clear of Craig the Critic when he insists that you're doing it all wrong and never getting better.

    ---

    Disordered Roundtables are here. Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

    ---

    Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -----

    Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

  • Do you have to give up coffee, tea, wine, pizza and cake to recover from an anxiety disorder? Well ... if you ask the Internet and consult general wellness influencers this question you're going to get answers that tend to collide with best practices among well trained therapists and counselors.

    No, you do not have to give up your favorite foods and drinks to get better. You may choose to structure your diet and your lifestyle around making overall healthy choices that align with your values and belief. That's always a good thing.

    But if you are avoiding things you generally like or enjoy in an effort to micro-manage your body or totally avoid experiencing natural thoughts, emotions, and sensations because you fear them ... this episode of Disordered is for you. It is in fact possible to fully recover from your anxiety disorder while also eating cheeseburgers and drinking wine. These things are not mutually exclusive!

    ---

    Disordered Roundtables are here. Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

    ---

    Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -----

    Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

  • This week on Disordered we're starting with the assertion that all anxiety disorders are obsessive and compulsive in at least some way. Then we make our way through all the "usual suspects"

    Panic disorder Health anxiety Social anxiety GAD OCD (obviously)

    We're looking at the obsessional components of each anxiety flavor, and the corresponding common compulsions or rituals designed to easy anxiety and discomfort.

    If you're worried because you think you have one type of anxiety ... and also OCD ... don't worry. While the usual "we're all a little OCD" thing is really awful and should be banned forever, within the context of anxiety disorders there are always obsessive and compulsive tendencies at play.

    Also, shout out to selective mutism, which is officially an anxiety disorder according to the DSM-5 but has never been mentioned on this podcast before. Spoiler alert: neither Drew nor Josh had anything constructive to say in that moment because neither has any experience with that presentation. Sorry, selective mutism.

    ---

    Disordered Roundtables are here. Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

    ---

    Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -----

    Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

  • This week Josh and Drew are answering questions from Disordered listeners.

    How to deal with the shame associated with anxiety and recovery when a partner or spouse isn't terribly supportive. How do re-gain confidence in oneself? What happens if you don't remember what non-anxious you was like? What about flushing, feeling hot, and getting goosebumps when anxious? I'm an introvert. What do I do when I want to go home to re-charge? Is that avoidance? What about when you're facing possible medical issues and it triggers anxiety? What about anxiety symptoms that are disruptive and I don't know how to manage them or stop them? What is that? If its a panic attack, how do I stop it?

    As always, this episode includes some wins from the community, and healthy helpings of humor and compassion.

    ---

    Disordered Roundtables are here. Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠⁠⁠⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠⁠⁠⁠.

    ---

    Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -----

    Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

  • This week Drew and Josh are talking about secondary fear.

    When triggered into an anxious state by thoughts, sensations, or anything else, we ALL experience a jolt of fear or discomfort. This is primary fear and its simply part of being human. Overcoming an anxiety disorder is not about removing this natural, healthy response to possible threats. People struggling with anxiety disorders will often make the mistake of trying to turn off the primary fear response to feel better.

    But if you want to overcome disordered and chronic states of anxiety, you want to work on turning down the secondary fear response. This is the response that makes you afraid ... or being afraid. Secondary fear is what we call it when you misinterpret primary fear as itself dangerous and begin to take evasive action to get away from, manage, stop, or prevent this internal experience. Secondary fear - and acting to keep secondary fear alive - is what really drives the disordered state.

    Tune in to hear a discussion about how to play charades with your amygdala and how to respond to its "call to perform" in a way that lets you slowly turn down that secondary fear response bit by bit over time. As usual, we're adding some humor and a dose of patience and kindness as is needed in any process that involves doing scary, difficult things on purpose.

    ---

    Disordered Roundtables are here. Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠⁠⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠⁠⁠.

    ---

    Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -----

    Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

  • Everyone that develops an anxiety disorder wants to know why that happened. Why do some people develop disorders while others are anxious and stressed all the time without ever developing a disorder issue?

    Excellent question, and one that nobody would blame you for asking.

    This week on Disordered we're exploring the origins of anxiety disorders, why they develop, what makes us more vulnerable to this, why symptoms and scary thoughts happen, and the relationship between stress (inevitable in life) and disordered anxiety.

    We're also looking at how there can be many contributing factors that might trigger development of an anxiety disorder, but paradoxically directly addressing those factors is not usually the way to get out of the state you find yourself in. First we "turn off the tap" (tune in for more on this) and learn to stand up on our own, then addressing contributing factors and working on overall wellness and good relapse prevention strategies and skills can - and often do - become part of the plan.

    ---

    Disordered Roundtables are here. Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠⁠.

    ---

    Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -----

    Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

  • Anxious people in recovery from chronic or disordered anxiety can find themselves bored ... and this is often a problem. This week on Disordered we're talking about learning to be bored. Yes, we have to learn how to be bored, which can be challenging if anxiety is a problem for you, but this is a skill well worth learning and practicing.

    Allowing yourself to sit quietly or to engage in random activities that may or may not have any purpose at all is a real thing. Not everything needs to be analyzed and evaluated in the context of anxiety recovery. Its perfectly OK to "not recover" for a while and to allow yourself to be bored, or idle. Might you experience thoughts or even sensations that you still fear a little? Yes! But this is normal. Bring those things with you into your boredom. Don't be tricked into thinking that idle time or boredom are dangerous or damaging in some way.

    Of note in this episode is a discussion of how reclaiming boredom and idle time without engaging in constant movement, distraction, or consumption of content is a good idea for ALL humans, not just anxious people.

    If you're finding yourself bored, or with idle time on your hands, this can be a good sign in your recovery. But if you find this disturbing - if boredom is itself anxiety producing - this episode may prove helpful. Give it a listen.

    ---

    Disordered Roundtable is coming! Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, visit our homepage and get on our mailing list.

    ---

    Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -----

    Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

    Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  • "I want to get back into dating but I'm still struggling with anxiety. What should I do?"

    "It's been going well with this new person and I'm afraid to tell them about my anxiety problem. Any tips?"

    "Do I need to recover fully before I start dating again?"

    "What if I start to like this person then then drop me because of my anxiety?"

    This week on Disordered we're examining the topic of dating ... with an anxiety disorder. Life doesn't stop because you are struggling with panic disorder or OCD or some other form of chronic or disordered anxiety. Anxious people also value connection, companionship, and intimacy. So how can you approach dating and building new intimate relationships while you're still in the thick of an anxiety problem and/or working on recovery?

    Two guys that know very little about dating ... but a whole lot about anxiety disorders ... are here to provide some insight on what it might look like when dating and anxiety disorders collide. The usual "rules" will still apply in this context, but we're also looking at sources of shame or negative self-image outside of anxiety, cognitive distortions and catastrophic thinking that can sabotage dating and new relationships, and why even non-anxious people struggle when looking for romantic partners.

    ---

    Disordered Roundtable is coming! Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠.

    ---

    Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -----

    Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

    Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  • Your anxiety narrative is the way you conceptualize your anxiety issues alongside how you see yourself, the world, your life in general, and how you may think your anxiety disorder developed or was triggered. Your personal narrative is important because nobody knows more about you than you!

    When seeking help with an anxiety problem, your narrative is the place a good helper will start. Helpers do not get to tell you your own story or impose their stories upon you. They should start with your conceptualization - your narrative - and work to incorporate that into the theories or modalities they use that work best in the context of your primary issue.

    This week Josh and Drew will explore why there is often confusion, conflict, and even debate about anxiety related narratives and how sometimes it can be difficult to conceptualize your own story when bombarded with so many varying messages on busy social platforms.

    In the end, you are always the expert on you. Taking time to work out your anxiety narrative, including how it may change as you go through the recovery process, is a process well worth engaging in. Just remember that this can be unclear, confusing, or even frustrating at times so beware of the perfection of "doing it right" traps. Your anxiety narrative is organic. It lives and breathes and changes and that's OK. There is no wrong way to address your own story!

    ---

    Disordered Roundtable is coming! Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠.

    ---

    Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -----

    Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

    Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  • Three things start and drive disordered states of anxiety:

    Shock, Attention, and Resistance

    Shock is what we experience when anxiety levels skyrocket for what seems like no reason. We experience scary and disturbing physical sensations, thoughts, and emotions all at the same time. It is ... shocking! Attention drives disordered anxiety when our internal states become the most important and interesting thing in the room all the time. We focus all our attention on how we feel all the time and cannot even imagine doing otherwise. Resistance drives disordered anxiety when we fight our reality. We are anxious. We have symptoms. We have scary thoughts. We feel emotions. This is our reality in any given moment. We wear ourselves down, increase our sense of powerlessness and hopelessness, get more and more confused, and feel more and more lost and out of control when we resist this reality and try to control it rather than working WITH it.

    This week on Disordered we're looking at the Shock / Attention / Resistance cycle that ignites and maintains a disordered state of anxiety.

    ---

    Disordered Roundtable is coming! Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠.

    ---

    Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -----

    Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

    Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  • Somatic Hyper Focus - That thing where an anxious person becomes hyper aware and hyper fixated on specific bodily sensations or bodily functions. This is a common issue seen in health anxiety, OCD, and panic disorder.

    This week Drew and Josh are going into detail on somatic hyper focus. What does it look like? How do anxious people get stuck in this loop? What are the mechanisms at play? What tricks does the anxious mind (our friend the amygdala) employ to get us to remain focused and convinced that closely monitoring our bodies is a good idea?

    We're talking about hyper focus on heartbeat, breathing, muscle twitches, stomach sensations, aches and pains, and a slew of other common somatic fixation targets. We're also talking about a way to conceptualize this issue that might help you turn away from it and learn through behavioral change and experience that its OK to not urgently analyze the results every time your frightened mind scans your body for signs of danger.

    Of course, there's the usual dose of humor and silly music and sound effects to round out the discussion, along with a reminder that overcoming somatic hyper focus takes time and requires patience and self-compassion. Nobody fixes this problem overnight, so tune in, take what you can from this episode, and be nice to yourself as you address this disruptive and unwanted habit.

    ---

    Disordered Roundtable is coming! Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠.

    ---

    Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -----

    Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

    Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  • What do you do when you're working on recovery from an anxiety disorder and your techniques stop working? How do you handle those hard days when you can't make it stop or go away?

    Well ... this is one reason why in the Disordered community we rarely if ever talk about tips, techniques, tricks, hacks, or steps for calming down, preventing anxiety, or managing anxiety or symptoms.

    This week Josh and Drew are talking about what happens when we try to use calming, relaxation, or wellness techniques to make disordered anxiety go away. There will be surprises here ... the number one technique we use in anxiety disorder recovery is to not try to use any techniques. The most valuable lesson we can learn is that even without taking special steps, our internal experiences come and go and are not worthy of changing our lives over, even when they are highly uncomfortable or scary.

    This episode also touches on the use of calming, relaxation, and stress management techniques as important parts of overall wellness outside the context of an anxiety disorder. Not everything is an exposure and acceptance problem in life. There are times when engaging in good wellness and stress management practices can be very helpful!

    The bottom line this week is that trying to use techniques to directly control how you feel and what you think in an urgent or frantic way is generally a bad plan. Applying techniques to teach us how to better handle stressors and move THROUGH our uncomfortable experiences is probably a better way to go.

    ---

    Disordered Roundtable is coming! Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠.

    ---

    Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -----

    Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

    Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  • This week Drew and Josh are looking at the social impacts of anxiety. What happens when panic attacks, anxiety waves, or a flood of scary intrusive thoughts happens in public or while in social situations or when interacting with friends, family members, co-workers, or relationship partners?

    If your past experiences in life or past relationships have contributed to developing self-beliefs or persistent worries about being rejected, excluded, or being exposed as being "less than", you may be tempted to insist that being anxious in social settings can't possibly be OK and that there must be some special way to approach this issue.

    The short answer is that there really is no special way, and the same principles will apply. Its always helpful to be able to identify reasons why your threat response has latched onto themes like rejection, exclusion, or being unworthy or less than.

    Even then the path forward is THROUGH. In this episode we're talking about identifying and challenging core beliefs focused on social fears, and learning two valuable lessons :

    1. The worst case often does not happen

    2. Even if it does, you are capable of handling the feelings that come with that

    ---

    Disordered Roundtable is coming! Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠.

    ---

    Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -----

    Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

    Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  • Humans will often make the mistake of trying to apply our analytical and problem solving skills in areas where they do not belong. Anxious people - people struggling with anxiety disorders - do this all the time.

    Are you trying to fix how you feel? Are you trying to solve your anxiety and figure it out? Are you in the habit of trying to control how you feel, engineering away bad feelings and trying to manufacture only good feelings? Are you always on the lookout for more tools, tips, techniques, and instructions on what's good "for anxiety?"

    These are hints that you might be a fixer or a perfectionist or both, and that you might be trying to fix or solve your anxiety .... perfectly. If this is you, tune in to this episode of Disordered for more on the fixing trap and how what seems like a good idea can often backfire and make things worse.

    ---

    Disordered Roundtable is coming! Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠.

    ---

    Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -----

    Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

    Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

  • Let's do an old-fashioned anxiety question and answer session!

    This week Josh and Drew are answering questions sent in by members of the Disordered podcast community. Listen in for answers to the following questions:

    Are we supposed to challenge our beliefs in recovery? What about dizziness? How do you do recovery when real life happens? My health anxiety is "different". Can I use going to the doctor as an exposure? I'm very anxious when reminded of a past event that I'm not proud of. Any tips? How can I do more so I can be more recovered and not feel anxiety? How can be compassionate toward ourselves ... and really mean it?

    Of course we also have a few "did it anyways" in this episode to inspire and encourage. Thank you to everyone that sends in questions, shares victories both big and small, or just listens to the podcast every week. Your presence and participation are always greatly appreciated!

    ---

    Disordered Roundtable is coming! Think of it as "Disordered Live", a way for members of our audience to spend time with us in an intimate virtual setting (attendance is limited) to engage in real time sharing and discussion on specific anxiety disorder and recovery topics. To be notified when new Disordered Roundtable sessions are scheduled, ⁠visit our homepage and get on our mailing list⁠.

    ---

    Struggling with worry and rumination that you feel you can't stop or control? Check out ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Worry and Rumination Explained⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, a two hour pre-recorded workshop produced by Josh and Drew. The workshop takes a deep dive into the mechanics of worrying and ruminating, offering some helpful ways to approach the seemingly unsolvable problem of trying to solve seemingly unsolveable problems.

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://bit.ly/worryrumination⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

    -----

    Want to ask us questions, share your wins, or get more information about Josh, Drew, and the Disordered podcast?

    Visit us on the web at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://disordered.fm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠