Episodes
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#229 – Our third to the last episode! In this installment of Downers, we answer listeners' emails and hear about Kate's big vacation! Kate's in quarantine, in Hong Kong, and has much to report about it. Also, along the way, we learn all about Jack's sofa grandfather (#sofagrandfather). Finally a look back: Jack's Composting Bin. For people who are just listening to Downers for the first time, Downers is a podcast about sadness and sometimes Korean food!
(Editor's note: sorry this came out so late. OATS was sunsetting.)
Plugs this week:
(Hao) (Jack) (Kate)[email protected] • /r/downersradio • @downersradio on instagram and twitter • https://hrf.org
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#228 – As Kate and Hao pack up parts of, or all of, their lives in preparation for the next month of their lives, we check in with them to see how they pack and what they pack. Along the way, they hit on big-issue topics like wet clothes and ransom.
As a brief aside, many of you who read the episode descriptions over these past four years may think that they are written by one of the hosts; but, in fact, they are written by me, Loam Quigley. I haven't always written podcast episode descriptions—no, I started my life as a street food vendor, selling seasoned slices of agave on the streets of Hyderabad. When dial-up internet became commonplace, I joined an internet forum of likeminded people, who were interested in writing pithy, concise descriptions of audio files. We didn't know it yet, but we were all honing our skills for the rise of podcasting, which would eventually take over our lives and rend our friendships apart. With Downers coming to an end, I'm not sure where the winds will take me next. The Summer Olympics is ending in Tokyo this week. Most athletes will go home, but some, a select few, will fall in love with the city and stay behind to forge new lives and loves. That community of expats will need well-traveled guides to aid them: someone to clean the house, someone to make spiced agave nectar. Someone to describe their podcast episodes. In the meantime, I bid you farewell, dear reader. I have trained a blockchain-based artificial intelligence agent on all 228 of my episode descriptions, and it will be taking over my duties. I hope we will meet again on some other RSS feed some other day. It's been a pleasure to serve you. My name is Loam Quigley, and I love Wednesdays and midnights.
Plugs this week:
Ransomware (Hao) Aloha Collections' splash-proof travel bags (Kate)[email protected] • /r/downersradio • @downersradio on instagram and twitter • https://hrf.org
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Missing episodes?
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#227 – With the U.S. government wholeheartedly endorsing the concept of unidentified flying objects, we thought it would be GREAT (content-wise) to, once again, turn our attention to these mysterious objects in the sky. Are they visitors from a distant civilization, and why haven't we tried shooting a missile at them? Then, in the second half, we talk about thought-terminating clichés (Lies of the devil, Now is not the time) and how they might lead to sudden divorce. Also, at the end, a Special Announcement about the future of Downers.
Plugs this week:
Spider window (Hao) Journey to the Microcosmos (Jack) F1 racecar driving (Kate)[email protected] • /r/downersradio • @downersradio on instagram and twitter • https://hrf.org
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#226 – Candy: we've all had it, but what if there were more of it? In this episode, Downers invents new types of candies. Also: voting. We've all done it, but if there were more of it (more types of voting systems)? In this episode, Downers invents new types of voting systems. Also: Kate buys a delivery of kombucha!
Plugs this week:
Ancient ruins (Hao) A Collection of Unmitigated Pedantry (Jack) Taboocha 大杯茶 (Kate)[email protected] • /r/downersradio • @downersradio on instagram and twitter • https://hrf.org
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#225 (REUPLOAD) – How is babby formed? Do we live in a giant, sophisticated simulation? How can you tell if someone likes you just as much you like them? Back in the heyday of the internet, there was only one place you could go to get answers like these — Yahoo! Answers. On this episode, we hop into the wayback machine and sincerely answer these questions, long after they've been 404'd from the internet. Also: The Sims! Holes!
Plugs this week:
Asking for help (Hao) Cast-iron pans, seasoned (Jack) Clothes from GIRLFRIEND COLLECTIVE (Kate)[email protected] • /r/downersradio • @downersradio on instagram and twitter • https://hrf.org
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#224 – Local NYC politics AND a sensual take on New Pokémon Snap take focus on this week's episode of Downers. Why is Professor Mirror so thirsty for our photos? Call us at 3252-2109-66 and leave a voicemail.
Plugs this week:
Hugs (Hao) ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD (Jack) Walk shorts (Kate)[email protected] • /r/downersradio • @downersradio on instagram and twitter • https://hrf.org
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#223 – The Downers crew reunite for a classic three-host episode. Can't picture a green apple in your head? Having trouble counting sheep? Is your spank bank more of a septic tank? Well, you might have APHANTASIA, the topic of this week's episode. Aphantasia is the inability to voluntarily create mental images in one's mind, and it's not to be confused with Mort Garson's seminal album PLANTASIA. Also, we talk about abolishing table service, and #downerslive.
Plugs this week:
Robe first robe (Kate) Albert Einstein (Hao) New Pokémon Snap (Kate)[email protected] • /r/downersradio • @downersradio on instagram and twitter • https://hrf.org
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#222 – Way back in the episode #000000000001, Hao and Jack (with Kate relegated to a feature segment) delved into PARAMETERS, as we figured out what the podcast should be back when we had no idea what the show would be like—as opposed to now, when we have a really strong conception of what the show should be like. It's really important to know the parameters of something when you start doing something. This time around, Hao and Jack (with Kate relegated to her cool, busy life) ask: What's the podcast like now? And are we going bald?
Plugs this week:
Mugs (Hao) REPLY 1988 (Jack)[email protected] • /r/downersradio • @downersradio on instagram and twitter • https://hrf.org
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#221 – Confrontation is both an art and a science. On this podcast, it's also an idea for an episode. In this episode, Hao, Kate, and Ian confront each other about past segments and other general grievances. It's important to confront all sorts of people: coworkers, lovers, friends, and minor household objects.
Plugs this week:
Perfect quiet (Hao) Screen Time (Ian) Cinnamon scones (Kate)[email protected] • /r/downersradio • @downersradio on instagram and twitter • https://hrf.org
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#220 – As a followup to the massively successful Sims episode, Kate and Hao decide to SLAY THE SPIRE. We journey deep into the spire in an attempt to kill The Heart on ascension 20. Also: Downers' new social media outgrowths; quinoa; and mean-heartedness on Twitch.
Plugs this week:
Nalgene bottles (Kate) Sandwiches from Mekelburg's (Hao)[email protected] • /r/downersradio • @downersradio on instagram and twitter • https://hrf.org
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#219 – This week, we talk about Matt Novak's seminal article "Politician's Zoom Background Can't Hide Fact That He's Actually Driving." What would you do if you had to videoconference while driving? We find out by consulting our expensive, and extremely accurate, reality simulator. Also: MAIL CORNER! TENTS!
Plugs this week:
Nurses (Hao) Therm-a-rest camp gear (Jack) Printfresh pajamas (Kate)[email protected] • /r/downersradio • @downersradio on instagram and twitter • https://hrf.org
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#218 – Lots of Mail this week, in Mail Corner! We answer a question about sexual/lucid dreams, and we talk to a foreign correspondent from around the world! Then, we round the end of the show with two harrowing tales of taking AP tests with medical maladies. Look, not every episode is going to have a cohesive theme.
Plugs this week:
430 (Hao) Uno, one of Michelle's favorite games (Jack) Toast (Kate)[email protected] • /r/downersradio • @downersradio on instagram and twitter • https://hrf.org
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#217 – Have you gone off the grid? Let us know on our social media accounts! Because this week's episode is all about how to go off the grid, and why you might want to, and why you might want to return. It's hard to live off the grid, but it might not be impossible. We learn that two of our three hosts have shot a gun. Also, we should be recusing ourselves more often; mangroves; spaceships' cockpits; people who immediately register as being well-adjusted.
Plugs this week:
Uyghur Human Rights Project (Hao) Netflix's very own THE INLANDER (Jack) Tony's Chocolonely (Kate)[email protected] • /r/downersradio • @downersradio on instagram and twitter • https://hrf.org
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#216 – Special guest host Ian, formerly contentman, joins Kate and Hao this week to talk about a topic we brought up on a previous episode and completely forgot: separating the art from the artist. As new allegations emerge for artists in almost every type of media, we often have to find a way to recontextualize our fandom in light of awful behavior. Sometimes it's a visceral disgust that just can't be overcome, and other times it's weirder because you've been hearing stories about that person since 2013, when you were doing improv comedy until 2 AM on a weeknight. Also: What's it like in Scandinavia? And: Ian's disastrous movie night.
Plugs this week:
Raffi Khatchadourian's "Surviving the Crackdown in Xinjiang" (Hao) Diplomático (Ian) Weird old mole (Kate)[email protected] • /r/downersradio • @downersradio on instagram and twitter • https://hrf.org
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#215 – This week's main segment comes from Contentman Ian, who asks: Who are your dream guests? And what would it be like if they came onto the show? We go around the horn and come up with our dream guests, both inspirational and not; finally, in the third act of the show, we interview one of them: The Wind Itself.
Plugs this week:
Sandwiches (Hao) Masanobu Fukoka's THE ONE-STRAW REVOLUTION (Jack) Lingonberry jam (Kate)[email protected] • /r/downersradio • @downersradio on the twittersphere • https://hrf.org
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#214 – Sometimes Downers is one big main entrée, and sometimes it's not. And when it's not, it's a veritable buffet of snacks, which is this week's episode. In this installment: What Things are Two Things, Kate's Hot Steaks Took You, Forays into Social Media: Instagram Edition, and Downers Coins a New Phrase ("Faux Arguing"). Also, a missile comes toward Jack's face.
Plugs this week:
Armrests (Hao) Valheim, for Ian (Jack) Five Guys (Kate)[email protected] • /r/downersradio • @downersradio on the twittersphere • https://hrf.org
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#213 – It's easy to arrive at something, and it's much harder to leave. This hour, we present a guide to leaving: how to leave a room at a party, how to leave a relationship, how to leave the world behind in the aftermath of a nuclear bombing, and how to leave this sentence. Cut out this audio and place it into your wallet; you never know when you'll need it. Also, the Qingming Festival and sunscreen!
Plugs this week:
The HEAVING BOSOMS podcast (Kate) Turkeys (Hao) EPIC GARDENING's YouTube channel (Jack)[email protected] • /r/downersradio • @downersradio on the twittersphere • https://hrf.org
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#212 – Well, Kate's out this week, and that means Jack and Hao revert to their base instincts: insidery programming jokes, abstract roleplay, and a willingness to talk about the controversial hot topics of the day. In this edition of YOU MOLD IT, YOU SOLD IT, we investigate Mario Cuomo's long career as a New York politician and how his decisions continue to reverberate today. All that, plus nothing else, on Downers!
Plugs this week:
Caves (Hao) Bill Wurtz's I'M A PRINCESS (Jack)[email protected] • /r/downersradio • @downersradio on the twittersphere • https://hrf.org
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#211 – Some things are actually two things, and this episode's main segment is actually two main segment. FIRST we talk about how a popular, young, teenage, blonde motorcyclist on social media turned out to be an older man using a face-swapping photo app. THEN we talk about Ann Pratchett's essay in the New Yorker, HOW TO PRACTICE, which talks about giving away your possessions so that your loved ones don't have to sift through the belongings after you pass away. It's a classic action-packed Downers episode!
Plugs this week:
100 GECKS (Jack) Pickling (Hao) Grilled flatbread (Kate)[email protected] • /r/downersradio • @downersradio on the twittersphere • https://hrf.org
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#210 – This week we cover Jan Kabátek and David C. Ribar's study "TEENAGE DAUGHTERS AS A CAUSE OF DIVORCE," in which they showed that daughters ages 13-18 are associated with a higher risk of divorce in 1995-2015 Dutch marriage registry data. We get some of the details wrong, but that's because we were going off a four-paragraph Economist article. The Economist can be very terse (boring) when it wants to be (all the time). Plus: grandma wigs, shampoo as body wash.
Plugs this week:
Digital frames (Kate) Love as a commodity (Kate) Irish Spring soap, in bar form (Hao) Waiting for seedlings to sprout (Jack)[email protected] • /r/downersradio • @downersradio on the twittersphere • https://hrf.org
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