Episodes
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This is part 2 of our conversation on masculinity where we get real about the challenges men face with strict gender conformity and how it ties in with relationships. Today weâre focusing on sex - the myths, the misconceptions, and the reflections. We unpack some of the biases and challenges that men face in the bedroom.
Here are a few of the ideas we discuss:
Boysâ first experiences with porn and sexual excitement - who is teaching boys about sexual education? Exploring Erectile Dysfunction as a manifestation of a vulnerable internal state of mind: anxiety, self-esteem, body-image, depression, performance anxiety, etc. What are some ways that men would prefer to be treated in relationships? Keeping your partner current on what you want from the relationship sexually and emotionally The importance of sexual communication within relationships and during the heat of the moment The myth that men are âeasyâ and constantly âready to goâ sexually The patriarchal policing of men by using the term âgayâ for a man who doesnât follow the hetero-normative male code Sexual fluidity is not the same thing as sexual orientation, and the stereotypes of men who are more sexual fluid with the same sex -
Today, Iâm sitting down with a room full of diverse men to talk about the challenges of masculinity. The reason I wanted to facilitate this discussion is to bring to light some of the points and perspectives on what it means to be a man in modern day, told by men. Everyone, regardless of how they present or identify, should have a vested interest in loosening the tight grip of patriarchal masculinity because it not only hurts women and LGBTQ people, but it hurts men, too.
Here are a few of the ideas we discuss:
The overwhelming statistics of violence by men, not just to others, but to themselves (suicide), and the gaping void of close friends they can turn to in crisis within individualistic societies The myth of the âreal manâ... who is this mythical man?! The lack of vulnerability men are âallowedâ to show, especially when it affects their physical and emotional wellbeing When the tough guise of manliness serves a purpose as an adaptive mechanism (combat zones, police force, etc) versus when itâs maladaptive (in family life, relationships, with our children, etc) The lack of healthy leadership for boys as they transition into adulthood, that directly impacts their ability to be good, present fathers and learn how to enjoy their sexuality in a healthy way The socialization of men into being autonomous and not asking for help, even when situations are dire -
Missing episodes?
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Today, Iâm talking about transgression - whatâs behind it, why do we do it, and how do we make sense of it within committed relationships. And because you canât really talk about transgression without mentioning monogamy and attraction for others, weâre talking about that, too. Oh, and a disclaimer before you hear this episode: the vibe weâre putting off in this episode did not happen overnight. It took years for us to be this open, honest, and playful with each other, and we wouldnât have it any other way.
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Today, I talk with trusted hot sex advisor to millions, the famous Susan Bratton, as she shares all the ways women can orgasm, how to initiate dirty talk, her favorite sex toys, and much more. Susan is a champion and advocate for all who desire passionate relationships. Considered the âDear Abby of Sex,â Susanâs fresh approach and original ideas have helped millions of people of all ages and across the gender spectrum transform sex into passion.
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This episode is an erotic story about one woman who found herself enticed by the forbidden: her roommateâs boyfriend. This moral dilemma left her puzzled and conflicted as to why this transgression was so alluring. As a coach who is greatly inspired by Esther Perel, I've always known that the world is not black and white, strictly good or bad. There's an infinite amount of grey that complicates our human experience, and when we immediately condemn and demonize before we have even sought to understand why, we miss the lessons within the journey, and we disillusion ourselves into believing that mere morality will inoculate us from history repeating itself.
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If you've ever struggled with guilt or shame around your sexuality that has roots in your religion, listen to this couple share their embarrassing and raw struggles with managing sexual desire while conflicting with the shaming messages from their faith. Creators of the "Show Up Naked" podcast, Eric & Stephanie Molletta, confess to all the humiliating details surrounding the shame & guilt of their religious past.
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As the #MeToo movement progresses, men are feeling anxious about navigating the current climate with gender norms changing and masculinity being under scrutiny. Today, Iâm discussing toxic masculinity, redefining gender roles, and how some of our sexual stereotypes about men directly impact their sex lives in a negative way. I'm not going to encourage sensitivity or discarding masculinity altogether, but the parts that continue to be toxic to men, women, and children have to go.
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Todayâs show is based on a true story about an affair. Marco, a successful businessman, finds himself unexpectedly in the throws of an affair, and is left conflicted about the dilemmas facing his marriage. My hope is that that through the telling of this story, we might add a little complexity and helpful insight to an age-old dilemma for the sake of relationships everywhere, especially for anyone who has ever loved. (Names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.)
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My guest today shares a dark family secret ridden with shame - he was birthed out of INCEST. He opens up about his experiences with an alcoholic father and learning the shocking truth about where he came from. Lynn Everard is now an author, a life coach, and a speaker, hoping to share his heartfelt message with the world about how speaking your truth could save your life. You can find more information on my guest here: https://lynneverard.com/ and watch the video of our convo here: https://youtu.be/q8XBd9z3fx4
Specifically, weâre going to talk about:
His childhood experiences with incest and how it shaped his life and his 34 year marriage The lack of physical touch for young boys His recent experience coaching a workshop for men called the Masculine Journey The balancing act of masculine and feminine within all of us Lynn's upcoming book, How Speaking Your Truth Can Save Your Life and How It Saved Mine and heâs the co-creator of the soon to be launched How To Speak Your Truth Workshop. By assisting his clients in writing their life stories, he helps them speak their own truth. Lynn believes in helping aspiring writers become powerful authors of their own lives. -
I'm exploring some psychological theories behind some of the most popular sexual fantasies. Here are a few of the ones I cover on this podcast:
1.Rape Fantasies
2.S&M
3.Master/Slave
4.Diapered & Babied
5.Asphyxiation
6.Golden/Brown Showers
7.Group Sex
8.Incest
Educate yourself on where your fantasies come from and what they might mean, but be cautious not to use sexual fantasy interpretations as a one-size-fits-all explanation, as it depends on the person and their unique circumstances. But theories can bring us generalizations that can be helpful at times to explain commonalities among large groups. There will always be exceptions and outliers of course, as a myriad of factors influence our fantasies.
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If you're the least bit curious to know where your biggest sexual fantasies probably come from, I promise you'll want to hear this one. On this two-part episode, I explain how and why we create our sexual fantasies by exploring the deeper, pathogenic beliefs that we develop about ourselves in relation to our primary caregivers in childhood, and how something you might least expect is the one necessary ingredient to becoming sexually aroused.
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My online dating connoisseur is back to tell about a couple of her more surprising encounters, namely a couple of suitors' preferences for coprophilia (a sexual affinity for defecation, ie poop) and homoeroticism (a same-sex erotic attraction, but not necessarily acted upon). This conversation is both comical (when we need some relief - no pun intended), and an honest conversation about some common sexual fears, fantasies, and cultural stigmas that deserve some examination and understanding. PS - These are 2 distinct topics we discuss, and therefore have nothing to do with each other in this context so they shouldn't be equated together.
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Todayâs episode is another erotic story about a hot college student named Russ who finally hooked up with his sexy gym crush late one night after a sweaty workout.
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I talk with singer/songwriter, Albert Angarita, about how sexuality, relationships, dating, and marriage is changing in the millennial age with more access to information, educational tools, and historical archives that allow us to make better decisions in life and love. We discuss power, privilege, and expanding our consciousness to become more evolved as human beings. Visit www.instagram.com/angarita/ to hear Albert Angarita, an incredibly talented bilingual Spanish singer/songwriter, entrepreneur, writer, poet, public speaker, and martial arts/taekwondo champion.
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Today Iâm talking with a sex therapist who treats patients and couples facing chronic illness and sexual dysfunction. His upcoming book, Sex & Love When You Are Sick, addresses strategies to overcome shame and sexual limitations from the illness. We also talk polyamory, monogamy, and sexual communication. For more information about Dr. Melvin Lee Phillips, visit www.drleephillips.com.
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Today, I talk candidly with a man who became paralyzed from a car accident, leaving him in a wheelchair, and how it's reconstructed his sex and dating life. It's an intimate glance inside the world of someone who is often mistaken for having little or no sexual desire, and that just isn't the case. We talk about some of the misconceptions around disability and intimacy.
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Today's sexy story is about a hot, young personal trainer and his boss having sex at the gym, where he learns exactly how to please this older woman.
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Hear from a couple who has successfully navigated an open relationship after ending dying marriages, finding sexual freedom, and transitioning from serial monogamy to consensual non-monogamy.
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Trauma often lurks in the shadows of our relationships, never fully recognized or healed. Many of us don't realize how deeply affected our present-day selves are by the abuse and damage from our pasts. Without examination and healing, we can never fully reach our truest relationship potential. Today, I'm sharing my own experience with these icky topics, and within it you will find hope, light, and love.
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Today, I talk with an academic researcher about how porn isn't living up to its full potential as a tool to ignite eroticism and sexual exploration. We discuss how to bring authenticity and responsibility to our consumption of porn in an industry that's influencing (and mirroring) men's sense of masculinity and their attitudes about women.
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