Episodes
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Habits are hard to break, but they can be changed. There are cultural factors in play that make it much more difficult when there is an overarching social expectation to hold family above all else and for Janet and Brian, it lead to a lot of internalizing when it came to even reflecting on making changes about how they react to certain situations. Yes, reactions can be looked at like habits. Janet talks about some recent revelations in her understanding of her own beliefs which lead to her recognizing how to change some long-standing habits. Brian shares new info that has put an end to the now-old idea that habits take any number of “days” to form.
References: How long does it take to form a new habit? https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/taking-it-easy/202001/how-long-does-it-take-form-new-habit Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/ Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/ -
The wonderful @hangukhapa is our guest in this episode! She shares her background and inspiration on Korean cuisine on her social media and YouTube channel following our collab. Hear it here! Also, take a moment to check out her informative (and tasty!) content!
Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/ Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/ And Hangukhapa! https://www.instagram.com/hangukhapa/ -
Missing episodes?
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We experience so many people telling us
how to look, what success is, what to know, etc.Janet and Brian have a conversation about what they think some of these pressures are, where they think they came from, and what they did to get past the pressure.
Tune in to this week's episode, “Dealing With Social Pressures”, to hear more!
Check out the K-Town Rumble Website:
https://www.ktownrumble.com/
Follow us on social media:
https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/
https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/
https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/ -
If you are part of the millennial generation you have probably heard,
“you need to know your purpose,”
or some variation of that statement at some point in your life.What you probably weren't told is how.
As many of us have faced adulting with a skewed view and expectations that we eventually realize are not our own. We may have to face much internal struggle to try and figure out what it all means. Some have coped by becoming numb and learning how not to care.
Quarterly, Janet and Brian get together to talk about where they are with their goals and if any of their aspirations have changed.
Sometimes, their conversations are light and easy to get through. Other times, their discussions take them to a place that requires much more in-depth conversation and potentially even healing.They share openly in this episode a glimpse of some of the discussions that they've had.
Tune in to this week's episode,
“How Cultural Expectations Made it Really Hard For Us to Talk About Our Purpose”, to hear more!
Check out the K-Town Rumble Website:
https://www.ktownrumble.com/
Follow us on social media:
https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/
https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/
https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/ -
Shame is something we hear about frequently, and often smiling through our pain, in the AAPI community.
Shame is much more intense when related to Eastern values versus Western values as Asians tend to carry the shame with the weight of their families and social expectations on top of them.It’s regularly looked at in a negative light and for good reason.
In this episode, Janet and Brian define shame and the differences in their cultural contexts as well as sharing their personal experiences with how it had affected them before they had even known how it had affected their beliefs and self-image.
They also talk about how therapy, reflecting, and knowledge all play a part in learning how to live in a world where multiple cultures collide, leaving shaming and the experience of feeling shame commonplace.
Tune in to hear it in this week’s episode “Shame Is Different With Asians and How We Deal With It”
Check out the K-Town Rumble Website:
https://www.ktownrumble.com/
Follow us on social media:
https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/
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https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/
References:
The Difference Between Guilt and Shame
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/shame/201305/the-difference-between-guilt-and-shame
How Asian Shame and Stigma Contribute to Suicide
https://www.nami.org/Blogs/NAMI-Blog/July-2020/How-Asian-Shame-and-Stigma-Contribute-to-Suicide -
Eastern Asians that follow more traditional Confucianist values already know that the Hierarchy between age, rank, class, and even gender is a long-held tradition deeply embedded in our social interactions.
These values span for generations regardless of how many degrees of separation we have from our original immigrant ancestors.Janet and Brian explore the idea of where these ways of living originate as well as how had affected them in their interactions.
If you’ve had trouble getting through to some of your elders, this will be a conversation that you’d want to listen to.
You’re definitely not alone in trying to navigate the rough terrain of opposing cultural values, especially as it relates to social hierarchy.Tune in to hear more!
Check out the K-Town Rumble Website:
https://www.ktownrumble.com/
Follow us on social media:
https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/
https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/
https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/ -
There’s always a right and a wrong way to go about doing things, isn’t there? Well, depending on which culture is dominant in your multicultural life, the “right” and “wrong” way of doing anything can be vastly different. It sounds like it should be obvious, but common sense is not really all that common if you venture to different countries where they’ve had centuries to operate under different versions of social norms.
In this episode, Janet and Brian explore their own multicultural values and how they go about navigating them, especially when there are some values that oppose each other. For instance, Western individualism vs Eastern collectivism. When you have to choose, how do they do it? Tune in to hear more about how they set the context to be able to bounce between (or fall flat in) multiple cultures. Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/ Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/ -
Welcome back in the new year!
Ok, it’s started.There’s now a book talking about how “nunchi” (aka “noonchi”) which is often conflated or overgeneralized between emotional intelligence, quick wit, social intuition, social awareness, etc. (the list goes on).
Well, we’re talking about the real world picture when it comes down to nunchi and what we think about where it comes from.
It’s definitely not seen as a “good” thing when it comes to its deeply embedded practices in Korean society.
Tune in to hear why!
References:
What Is 'Nunchi', the Korean Secret to Happiness?
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/nov/11/what-is-nunchi-the-korean-secret-to-happiness
Check out the K-Town Rumble Website:
https://www.ktownrumble.com/
Follow us on social media:
https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/
https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/
https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/ -
Hearing the word “anxiety” is something way too familiar for 2020, but it was a problem even before the pandemic hit.
It’s been an epidemic brought on by loft expectations from chasing lofty goals expecting to get them sooner than everybody else.
Well, that’s what the majority of us were taught anyway. It’s time to normalize talking about it.In this episode, Janet and Brian both open up about their experiences with anxiety and explore why it may be that Asian cultures tend to avoid or repress the notion that such issues even exist.
They also share some of the methods they’ve used to address their struggles dealing with anxiety.
Check it out in this episode “vs Anxiety”
Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/ Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/ Some References: WHY MENTAL ILLNESS IS STIGMATISED IN ASIAN CULTURES: MY STRUGGLE WITH ANXIETY https://mabelkwong.com/2016/06/23/why-mental-illness-is-stigmatised-in-asian-cultures-my-struggle-with-anxiety/ Anxiety in college: What we know and how to cope https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/anxiety-in-college-what-we-know-and-how-to-cope-2019052816729 How to Cope with the Added Anxiety of Being Asian-American During COVID-19 https://www.happify.com/hd/how-to-cope-with-the-added-anxiety-of-being-asian-american-during-covid-19/ -
Nike Japan recently released an advertisement depicting a couple of kids being bullied at school.
It was met with backlash by pointing out a very real problem among all social groups around the world.In this episode, Janet and Brian talk about bullying through the lens of Asian-Americans.
Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/ Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/ Resources: How parents, teachers and kids can take action to prevent bullying https://www.apa.org/topics/prevent-bullying How to stop bullying in schools: What works, what doesn't https://www.today.com/parents/how-stop-bullying-schools-what-works-what-doesn-t-t159669 http://www.violencepreventionworks.org/ How to Prevent Bullying https://www.stopbullying.gov/prevention/how-to-prevent-bullying 6 Smarter Ways to Deal With a Bully https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-couch/201702/6-smarter-ways-deal-bully
Janet goes into a lot of detail about what this looks like in South Korea and where this could potentially come from, as it is almost ingrained into life for kids growing up.
Tune in to hear more! -
Ever just feel tired of everything? There a lot to juggle these days, especially dealing with the pandemic, working from home, holidays, etc. Janet and Brian expand on dealing with mental fatigue. Sometimes, you just don’t realize that you need a break. In our society, we have some grandiose expectations and many of us have a hard time keeping burnout at bay. In fact, you could be burned out at not even know it. It’s hard to catch because we see mental fatigue the same way we see physical fatigue.
Tune in to hear about how to tell whether or not you’re mentally fatigued and what to do about it on this week’s episode “vs Mental Fatigue”. Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/ Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/ -
When you're constantly instructed to focus on YOUR grades, YOUR studies, YOUR family, etc. and learning how to communicate with other people (as a structured skill) is not valued or even understood. This creates gaps in our ability to navigate Western society. Janet and Brian talk about the idea of selfish communication in this episode where they address some of the recent commentary about how it is that communication is perceived by the communicator. Touching on how it applies when you've grown up in a hierarchical environment where it is the responsibility of the person on the lower end of the hierarchy to understand what the person on the higher end is communicating as opposed to the other way around.
In this episode, you will hear about selfish communication as it's seemingly defined by others, discussion around the difficulties around communication for Korean-Americans (Asian-Americans/Asians/Immigrants), enhancing active listening skills, and a Reddit question about what to do after realizing you've been communicating in a selfish manner. Reddit Topic Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/jz0df8/ive_realised_that_im_a_selfish_communicator_and_i/ Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/ Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/ Articles Referenced in Episode: Active Listening Skills: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-it-together/202006/active-listening-skills -
Sure, if you want to play games any skill is a “skill,” we’re not talking about the stuff that they teach you in school. We are talking about the major stuff that they don’t teach you in school. As Asians and Asian-Americans we are often taught to focus on a STEM-centered education. Typically when we think about skills, we tend to envision something that we fix or build with our hands. Today, Janet and Brian are going to talk about skills that are commonly referred to as “soft skills” at a high level.
In this episode, you will hear about: The 7 main areas of life Goals Self-care how to connect with other people Tune in to hear about what it is that they have to say about how some of these concepts might apply to you. Here's a link to the Rocketbook, the reusable smart notebook we talked about in the episode (yes, we get a kickback from Amazon for you using this link, but you don't pay any more than you would have by using this link): Rocketbook Smart Reusable Notebook https://amzn.to/2IFksqj Some quick articles that we put together for anybody that wants to expand a little bit on the stuff we talked about: Learning to Learn https://hbr.org/2016/03/learning-to-learn 8 Different Learning Styles https://blog.mindvalley.com/types-of-learning-styles/ Self-Care: 12 Ways to Take Better Care of Yourself https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/click-here-happiness/201812/self-care-12-ways-take-better-care-yourself How to connect with others (playlist) https://www.ted.com/playlists/367/when_you_re_having_a_hard_time Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/ Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/ -
What’s a Koreaboo? Janet and Brian talk about a poor guy who’s girlfriend has become obsessed with K-pop. Apparently, all she talks about is K-pop and the guy is tired of it and has no idea what to do. What would you do if your significant other widely becomes obsessed with something to the extent that you can’t walk about anything else?
Hear what Janet and Brian have to say about it on this week’s TMT episode, “My Girlfriend Is Obsessed With K-Pop Groups. Help.” Reddit Topic Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/jmip9o/my_25m_girlfriend_26f_is_obsessed_with_bambam_and/ Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/ Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/ -
When you grow up in an environment where the focus is more on the things that you don’t do well rather than your strengths, you can expect that you’re going to grow up thinking more about your shortcomings rather than thinking to lean into your strengths.
In this episode, Janet and Brian talked about imposter syndrome and what it is as they understand it. They also get into how it applies to their lives and potentially to the lives of other Asian-Americans and how it is that they have overcome or continue to work on overcoming the doubts that come hand-in-hand when dealing with imposter syndrome. During this conversation, they will also share the five different types of imposter syndrome. Tune in to this week’s episode “vs Imposter Syndrome in Asians” Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/ Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/ References: How Asian Shame Can Perpetuate Imposter Syndrome, Sam Louie (Psychotherapist, Psychology Today) https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/minority-report/202010/how-asian-shame-can-perpetuate-imposter-syndrome 5 Types of Imposter Syndrome Classified by Dr. Valerie Young https://www.fastcompany.com/40421352/the-five-types-of-impostor-syndrome-and-how-to-beat-them -
Smile more?! Who is anybody to tell you how you should feel? Asian parents. Asian parents can tell you how to feel 🤣 Janet and Brian address a redditor’s story about how their parents push them to smile in family photos and the pressures that come along with growing up Asian.
Reddit Topic Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianParentStories/comments/jmax3n/my_parents_want_me_to_smile_more/ Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/ Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/ -
In relationships, running into conflict is inevitable! There are just too many different experiences in an individual person’s life for there not to be some idea or experience that would collide with another’s. Janet and Brian had recently experienced just that, but they had taken the skills that they have learned and applied them (the best they could anyway).
In this episode, you’ll hear how the fight started, what happened, and what they did to resolve and reconcile their notions about what had originally happened. They share some of the lessons and agreements they’ve reached moving forward. This isn’t the perfect relationship, but no relationship is! Hear how they came to see eye to eye and how they deal with conflict resolution as it relates to their marriage. Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/ Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/ -
It seems like it should be obvious, but we’re going to say it anyway. Resting is important! How do we all go about doing it though? Why is it that we don’t spend a whole lot of time treating rest like it is a necessity in our lives? Janet and Brian talk about why Koreans (and other Asians and anybody that’s bought into hustle culture) have a hard time acknowledging the very real fact that we all need rest.
In this episode, you’re going to hear about some of the causes of why there doesn’t seem to be awareness around the topic. They also get into how they identify when they need more rest as well as what it is that they do to recharge. Tune in to hear it all in detail! Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/ Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/ -
Woah, there is nothing "classic" about this. There are tiger parents and then there is this next-level of authoritarian upbringing. Janet and Brian hear this story of an Asian teenager with some extremely controlling parents to the extent that it is not ok. Trigger warning on this episode because even hearing the original post sounds like a horror story scenario.
Reddit Topic Link: https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianParentStories/comments/jd7lht/classic_asian_parent_forcing_child_to_study/ Check out the K-Town Rumble Website: https://www.ktownrumble.com/ Follow us on social media: https://www.instagram.com/ktownrumble/ https://www.instagram.com/therealjanetlee/ https://www.instagram.com/thisisbrianlee/ -
Hey everybody! We are taking a short (one week) break to catch up. We will be back with more content next week!
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