Episodes
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In this episode, I delve into the profound impact of self-esteem on our romantic relationships and the intricate ways in which it can shape our future experiences. I explore the snowball effect that low self-esteem can have, particularly when entering relationships, as individuals may unknowingly gravitate towards partners who reinforce negative beliefs about their worth. This pattern can often escalate into more severe issues with self-confidence over time. I also discuss the transformative journey that unfolds when people enter new relationships with a strong sense of self-worth. By knowing and valuing their worth, they are more likely to attract partners who treat them well, fostering healing and breaking free from the cycle of past insecurities rooted in unhealthy relationships. Cultivating self-love can be a powerful catalyst for building healthy, fulfilling connections!
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I uploaded a TikTok about how I'd essentially found myself again after losing myself for two years, and it seemed to hit a nerve with a lot of people. I wanted to go into further detail about my experience in the hopes it would help others get back in touch with themselves, even if the method may be a little unorthodox :)
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Missing episodes?
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As someone who has had cosmetic enhancements, I find myself in a bit of a pickle. 90% of me says I have no right to comment on anyone else's appearance because it doesn't affect me in any way, but on the other hand, that 10% worries for people who seem to be going overboard. Let's talk about it...
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The ego... It tends to shout when we need it to be quiet. It convinces us that we need to be more popular, more attractive, more successful, more stylish and more intelligent, in order to be liked by others. In order to be 'good enough' or worthy. If we try to ignore our ego it shouts even louder. "What do you MEAN all of those things don't matter?! If you don't listen to me I'll show you how wrong you are! Everyone will think you're ugly and unsuccessful and embarrassing and stupid. But if you listen to me, I'll keep you safe." It's like a toxic relationship that we can't seem to escape. Deep down we know it's not good for us, but it can feel scary leaving something familiar, so we stick with it. I had a huge ego flair up recently which is what inspired this episode. I talk through every little detail about what happened, how it made me feel and why, and how I got through it. It's important to note that I believe our egos are important, but only to a certain degree. It's important to receive feedback from outside, more objective sources every once in a while. The issue is that we now seem to rely mainly on what other people think of who we are and the decisions we make, and not enough on what we think of ourselves. We need balance, baby! If you enjoyed today's episode, please leave a rating and a review! It helps this podcast reach other people, which is really cool :) Thank you so much x
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It probably sounds like a strange question to ask, but there's a reason I'm asking it. Sure, there's an undeniable sense of fulfilment and accomplishment that comes with achieving a goal you've been working towards for a while, but if we're all being honest, how long did you actually stop and let that win sink in for? Did you even stop at all? Or were you too busy working towards the next big goal? Why are we all so quick to set up a new target once we have reached our old one? Perhaps it's because we think that constantly hitting targets and reaching goals will make us happier, more confident, more valued and respected by others, more successful, more worthy, more fulfilled. Why else would we set goals, right? But if you look back on your life right now, on all that you've achieved, did the accumulation of those achievements culminate in a better quality of life? Or did you kind of forget about them? Were those goals set in the interest of finding happiness, or feeding the ego? All of this is not to say that goals aren't important - quite the opposite - it's to encourage you to reflect on all of these questions, to stop and appreciate all that you have already achieved, to audit your future goals and decipher whether or not they are feeding the soul or the ego, and subsequently whether or not they're worth reaching for.
If you'd like to hear my in-depth thoughts about it all, listen in :) And if you enjoyed the episode, please don't forget to subscribe, rate and review. Thank you x -
Body positivity is surprisingly complex. It's not as simple as repeating a self-love mantra to yourself every morning and every night; in fact some days it can be a battle between the negative thoughts and the positive ones. It can feel like a tennis match - a bad thought comes straight for you at speed and you've got to quickly whack it out of your brain with a positive one. Some days those negative thoughts are coming at you non-stop and you feel defeated, other days you're on top of your game and the positive thoughts easily outnumber the negative ones. I always preach how important it is so take care of yourself and appreciate the body you have, but the truth is, sometimes that can be really, really hard, and I never want people to think they've failed if they have a few days, or weeks, where they've felt like they've lost that battle. We're human, and we're going to have days where everything we've learnt and all the progress we've made goes out the window. I've had a few of those days recently, so I wanted to share with you my approach to combatting those thoughts and getting myself back on track. It's important to remember that body positivity is something that most people will probably need to work on for the rest of their lives, as society changes the goal post of what is considered 'beautiful', and we're faced with the reality of whether or not we fit that image. I'm really happy with how this podcast came out, and I encourage you to listen to the end. If you did enjoy, please subscribe, rate and review! :)
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Have you ever found yourself looking through old photos or videos and feeling nostalgic about the way you used to look? Feeling sad - or perhaps mourning the loss of - the way you once looked? I found myself feeling this way recently, and it prompted me to dig a little deeper. What was it about my appearance changing that made me so uncomfortable? Had it even changed that much or am I just hyper critical of myself and the way I look? If I feel this way now, will I feel this way again in the future? How do I prevent myself from resenting the inevitable (aging, growing, physical and mental change)? Well, that's what today's podcast is all about; I hope you enjoy. Please rate and review if you did :)
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In the world of Instagram filters and Facetune, it's hard to know what anyone actually looks like anymore. Facetune has made it easy to edit our photos, and Instagram story filters have made it easy to edit our videos. A lot of the time, it's harmless. But when influencers start showing up on their stories and feeds with flawless blurred skin, huge eyes, big lips and tiny noses, it kind of makes you wonder... is there a line? Do we have a responsibility to our followers to present ourselves in a way that is realistic and accurate, so that we don't contribute to their insecurities about their appearance and they way they think they "should" look? And is there a moral code around using skin filters when promoting makeup products? Or Facetuning your body when promoting swimwear? Let's chat!
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A month or so ago, I uploaded a podcast episode called 'sooo my life has been a bit of a mess this year', and the response really surprised me. So often when we're going through something tough, we feel isolated and alone; as if we're the only ones having a rough time. It wasn't until I uploaded that episode that I realised the sheer volume of other people in the exact same position, all clinging to a glimmer of hope that things will get better. It got me thinking. I managed to get out of my year-long rough patch, which means I can now look back on it in hindsight, and see it for what it was. I've been able to identify the myriad of lessons I learnt along the way, why seemingly bad things just had to happen in order for me to achieve the result I wanted, what I would do differently next time and what I wouldn't change for the world. It was another reminder of the importance of letting go of the 'hows' and trusting in your end result, no matter how bumpy the road to get there might be. This episode talks through all of that. I hope you enjoy! Please don't forget to subscribe, rate and review if you enjoyed :) x
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From a young age, we're asked what we want to be when we grow up. Then, when we're almost all grown up and about to graduate high school, we're asked again. We feel a pressure to have it all figured out. I need to do well in my exams so that I can graduate with a great grade and get into my preferred university so I can become qualified so I can pursue my dream career so I can be happy. And while that's the path that some people will take, most of us struggle to know what we want to eat for lunch, let alone do for the rest of our lives. I'm one of those people. I've always taken life as it comes (which has thankfully worked well for me so far) and have never been one to plan too far ahead. My life purpose? No idea. Helping people feel good makes me feel good, so perhaps that's what it is, but had I not stumbled onto YouTube in 2011 I probably would have never discovered it. Most of the people in my life have no idea what their purpose is. They don't have one particular passion. If they do, they don't know what to do with it. I honestly believe it's something that 90% of us struggle with, and that's why I wanted to record this episode. I share a different take on what your 'life purpose' might be, and how you can harness that and use it to your advantage. If you enjoyed, please don't forget to subscribe, rate and review :) Thank you!
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How many times a day do you beat yourself up about the food you eat? Do you eat a meal and then immediately feel guilty for doing so? Do you tell yourself you're not allowed to eat certain foods? I've struggled with this my entire life, and it's only the past few years that I've managed to finally get a grip on it. Whether it be viewing certain foods as 'good' or 'bad', limiting my portion sizes so I don't consume too many calories, making myself feel horrible and ashamed for eating junk food even though I enjoy it, or just going on health-kicks every once in a while because I thought I needed to eat 'cleaner', my relationship with food had been strained since I was young. I got to a point where enough was enough. Reece was sick of hearing me complain ever time I ate a delicious meal, and I was sick of the constant self-inflicted guilt trips. If this all sounds familiar, please give this episode a listen. It might help you see things a little differently.
If you enjoyed, please don't forget to subscribe, rate and review if you haven't already - I appreciate it so much! X -
In Australia, racism towards Indigenous Australians is embedded into the fabric of our country. It has become part of our culture. It presents itself in subtle, covert ways that make it difficult to pinpoint, so if you pull someone up on their "innocent joke", you'll be shunned and told to "lighten up". Or better yet, to stop being so "politically correct" because it was "just a joke". In a culture that celebrates lightheartedness and demonises taking things too seriously, how do we evolve as a nation? How do we acknowledge our past for what it truly is, and take accountability for the ways in which we are consciously or subconsciously repeating the toxic behaviour that continues to keep Indigenous Australians oppressed and marginalised? While I still have so much to learn myself, I share my perspective on a few small, foundational steps we can all take to help end the institutional racism PoC face every day. It is our responsibility to educate ourselves, not theirs.
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This year has been a mess for most people... myself ~very much~ included. It all started in January and went downhill pretty quickly from there. Reece and I went from our usual happy, optimistic and upbeat selves to feeling defeated, hopeless and pessimistic. It wasn't just one thing that went wrong; it felt like every time we finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel the tunnel was extended and the light disappeared. I do want to mention that a lot of what went wrong wasn't a huge deal in the scheme of things, and we are so grateful to still have our health in times like these, but this episode is less about what went wrong and more about how it made us feel, and how that ties into the deeper meaning behind everything happening the way it did. It really brought it home that what's meant for you will never miss you and what misses you was never meant for you. I won't give too much away, but if you're interested in listening to a little story time and have an hour and a half (yikes) spare, then I hope you enjoy :) x
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Reece and I started this business in 2018 after spending years planning and developing it. It was the first big 'thing' I did outside of YouTube, and boy did we both learn a lot throughout the process (good and bad)! Deciding to close it down was not a decision we made lightly, but there are so many factors that came into it; all of which I speak about in depth in this episode. I didn't hold a single thing back - I wanted to be brutally honest in the hopes that it might potentially provide clarity to others looking to start their own business, or those who have already started but aren't sure if they want to continue. If you're enjoying these episodes please subscribe, rate and review - it helps so much! Thank you :) x
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Whether it be our appearance, our personality or our success, most of us have a core set of beliefs about the person we are, and whether that person is 'good enough' or not. I've struggled with self worth and self doubt for as long as I can remember, to the point where I came to the conclusion that I was just an overly critical person (of myself). But recently, I've been paying close attention to what actually TRIGGERS those beliefs. Why does doing that particular thing make me feel that way? Surely I couldn't have been born with all of these insecurities, so where did they come from? WHO did they come from? How many times did I have to be exposed to whatever created the self-doubt in order for me to believe it and hold on to it? This episode is a deep dive into why we allow other people/society/brands to dictate the way we feel about ourselves (often unknowingly), and how we can do our best to prevent it from happening in the future. If you enjoyed this episode or the podcast in general, please give it a rating and/or review and subscribe if you haven't already! Thank you so much *hug* X
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We're all in this habit of saying "one day" or, "I'd love to do that, but -" and we confine ourselves to the bounds of the 'safer' option, not realising what we're giving up in the process. It's so easy to get caught in the routine of wake up, eat, go to work, come home, eat, sleep, wake up, etc, not only because it's what everyone else is doing so it appears normal, but also because we keep ourselves so busy and stressed that we don't even allow ourselves the opportunity to think outside the box and to entertain the idea of a different way of life. With everything happening in the world right now, I've been reflecting on this myself almost daily. How much do I actually need? What do I actually need? What makes me happy? What am I only doing out of obligation and fear? What are my dreams? How do I get there? What's stopping me? Is pursuing them actually as risky and scary as I thought or have I just been conditioned to believe that? We've all got this little voice inside of us that presents us with the idea of an alternate way of life (whatever that might look like for each of us) that we shrug off and disregard because it seems unrealistic and far-fetched. We like the safety, security and false perception of certainty that our current life provides us, so even if we long for a deeper sense of fulfilment and joy, we always go back to the 'safer' option. If coronavirus has taught us anything, it's that absolutely nothing is guaranteed (namely our income and health), so why not listen to that little voice inside of you that wants you to be happy, and do that thing you've always wanted to do but haven't out of fear?
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If you listen to one podcast this year it needs to be this one. Yep, I'm backing it that much! Low self worth, high self doubt, feelings of inadequacy, general insecurities about the person I was and what I had to offer... they've all plagued me my entire life. I had resigned myself to thinking "this is just who I am; as if I can change a fundamental part of myself". I'm sure you can relate in one way or another. It's something my mentor Holly Loxton calls the 'not good enough program'. She joins me in this episode to pick apart the entire thing. Why we feel that way, who or what made us feel that way, why it's important that we change our beliefs and HOW we change them. That last bit is the most important because it gives us the power back over our own lives. We no longer have to feel like a victim to our beliefs and insecurities. You can completely transform your life if you take the first step and start believing that you're worthy of change. I love you guys so much and I sincerely hope you enjoy today's episode. If you did, please don't forget to subscribe, rate and review :) You can also find Holly and more info about her course here. xx
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We seem to make friends so easily as children, but as we grow up and leave school, things start to get a little more complicated. One friend moves overseas, one friend gets super busy with their career, one friend starts a family and one friend slowly drifts away for whatever reason. Or, perhaps you just never had a lot of friends to begin with. It seems to get harder to establish friendships the older we get, because many lifelong friendship circles have already formed, so you either have to try and penetrate an existing circle or find people that are in the same position as you. It can be pretty intimidating (especially for introverts); so I wanted to speak to an expert about how to go about finding and forming new friendships as adults. Hope Kelaher is a therapist from NYC and the author of 'Here To Make Friends: How to Make Friends as an Adult', and she answers all of your burning questions! We talk about everything to do with finding new friends, introverts vs. extroverts, self-worth, vulnerability, maintaining friendships and even moving past small talk. Hope's book is available from Amazon (.com and .com.au), and Barnes and Noble if you're in the US :) I hope you enjoy!
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