Episodes

  • Republished from The Melrose Place 'Cast, available at:

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠Melrose Place Cast on Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠

    or

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠Melrose Place Cast on Spotify

    Listen, there are just four storylines of significance now that Sarah is cast to the side. She just roves through a few other storylines saying things like, "at least you didn't sleep with a priest!"

    Carrie is sleeping with her secret psychologist, but so is Hillary! Carrie confronts them, and the doctor says she is crazy and since Hillary is Carrie's power of attorney (I'm sorry, what?) - she is going to be committed to Faircrest, which could also be thought of as Pity Me Pines. Is she going to be involuntarily locked up for sleeping with her psychologist who was manipulating her and she didn't know was a psychologist? Sure, but at least she didn't sleep with a priest.

    Linda turns down a great ad campaign so that she can try out for a movie, causing Hillary to break character and plainly say, "you don't know how to act." But, she gets the part and has to rehearse lines about being in an abusive relationship with Eric, formerly her abusive relationship partner. It's awkward and uncomfortable, but at least she didn't sleep with a priest.

    Julie and Craig get together, after he literally takes her against her will out of the model house into his apartment down the beach. But he leaves the door open and says she can leave, but that he won't be coming after her. She sleeps with her kidnapper, giving in to her desire, literally rewarding the worst behavior imaginable. But hey, at least she didn't sleep with a priest.

    Monique and Adam are broken up because he found Grayson, his ex-wife. He breaks into her hotel room when he finds out she is in there with another man. Holds him at gun point, only to find out it wasn't Grayson, causing him to deliver the line, "It's not Grayson you stupid bastard!" He goes to Monique and says he wants to be with her since his wife is gone, and she cancels her plans to move to New York to be with her boyfriend now that his first choice is gone. Is it settling? Sure, but at least she didn't sleep with a priest.

    Finally, Cynthia. Oh, sweet Cynthia. The stalker issues are pretty intense. Police can't arrest him because he didn't break any laws. Hilarity ensues as the stalker keeps coming up in their space, causing Brian to beat on him like he's a rug and it's Sunday in Germany. As in, beating on him outside with a stick. But the stick is his hand. Look, I can't explain it. Because Brian attacked the stalker, the judge says, "Mr. Thompson had not violated my restraining order when you violated him." That line lands differently in 2022 than 1995 but whatev. So fine, Cynthia and Brian decide to intentionally drive the stalker crazy, so they have romantic passionate sex in front of the open windows. Did they infuriate a dangerous stalker? Yes, but hey, at least she didn't sleep with a priest.

    Y'all really should be watching this show.

  • Republished from The Melrose Place 'Cast, available at:

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠Melrose Place Cast on Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠

    or

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠Melrose Place Cast on Spotify

    The vixens in question, of course, are Monique and Julie, who are continuing their tug of war for Adam/Reed while Craig continues to pine after Julie.

    Hillary catches Carrie impersonating her and sleeping with investors, so she gets Carrie some secret counseling.

    Sarah sleeps with Father Mark, until Daddy Priest Wilson asks her if she's ready for a lifelong commitment. Having already destroyed Father Mark's run at the priesthood, Sarah decides she's done and sends Father Mark away, to disappear like an angel in the wind.

    Cynthia's stalker is steping up his game, getting closer and closer. Brian even catches a mysterious figure in the trees thanks to his telescopic camera. What a plot device that is!

    This week's episode of Models, Inc. was brought to you (in the 90s) by The nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy head, fever, so you can rest medicine, now in gel caps! But do not chew them! Come on, people.

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  • Republished from The Melrose Place 'Cast, available at:

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠Melrose Place Cast on Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠

    or

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠Melrose Place Cast on Spotify

    Well, we took a month off between recording, or frankly even watching the show, so come along with us for our confusion as we try to remember what was happening in this show from 30 years ago that only one of us watched and even that was 35 days ago. As best as we can tell:

    Olipop soda is terrible, but that is unrelated to the show.

    Cynthia's stalker has made it to LA and is sending threatening messages using a black barbie doll. Brian, boyfriend extraordinaire, decides not to tell Cynthia. Then, he conspires with Hillary to continue not to tell Cynthia. Eventually, though, the stalker leaves a threatening doll inside Cynthia's bedroom, and the jig is up.

    Sarah and Mark have sex immediately after Mark explains that he is in love with someone else. It turns out that someone else is JESUS, and he is becoming a priest, so now what?

    Linda and Eric are flirting with getting back together, but he's not the one who moves on. She does by leaving the bar even though he is crooning a love song right into her eyes.

    The tea this week is with Julie and Monique. Julie's bet to steel Adam/Reed from Monique/Terri is moving along, causing both Julie and Monique to be on a fundraising committee for the Children's Hospital. Craig is making it clear that he wants to date Julie, but she says he can't afford an admissions ticket.

    Remember when Hillary was supposed to be the star of this show?

  • Republished from The Melrose Place 'Cast, available at:

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠Melrose Place Cast on Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠

    or

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠Melrose Place Cast on Spotify

    Well, we've reached that soap opera stage where all of the characters are operating disconnected from each other. So we have distinct, non-overlapping story lines.

    Cynthia regains a stalker from New Jersey. He is on his way to LA, but she can't be distracted because she is getting sexy chili dogs with Brian.

    Sarah continues her romance with mysterious Mark, kissing him at a retirement home they're doing community service at, but he pulls back and runs away.

    Linda is torn between two men: Chris and Eric. Chris proposes, she can't decide, so she says no. He fires her because of the porno flick, so she'll either run back to Eric, or set out about life as an independent woman.

    Carrie is posing as Hillary Michaels, bringing a gentleman caller to Hillary's home, to have sex in Hillary's bed, leaving someone out there walking through the streets of LA thinking he slept with Amanda Woodward's mommy.

    Julie turns down love from an Owen Wilson on protein shakes look a like because he's broke, and bets that he can steel Adam/Reed from Monique. Of course Monique is deepening her romance with Adam/Reed, sleeping with him on a deserted island, and threatens Julie.

    If you're not watching Models, Inc. at this point, then what are you even really doing with your winter?

  • Republished from The Melrose Place 'Cast, available at:

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠Melrose Place Cast on Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠

    or

    ⁠⁠⁠⁠Melrose Place Cast on Spotify

    Under no circumstances does this title make sense. Zero sense. It is illogical. But, whatever.

    We learn that Reed Carter reborn as Adam or Matt or whatever is now dating Teri Spencer reborn as Monique Heart or Clare or whatever. But it's in answer to a dare, and Reed Carter's Second Life is looking for his long lost wife. And because she is named fully, we can expect to see her. Probably when Monique Spencer/Heart/Clare/Whatever's Ghost is marrying Jo's ex-boyfriend/victim/baby daddy.

    Julie and Monique are fighting but we don't remember why.

    Carrie, the sister of the most beautiful ghost in America is filling in as the Vice President of Modeling as David is in Europe hoping Sarah rescues him.

    But Sarah is rescued from a drunk driving crash by a mystery man who drives her home, lays her on her couch, and returns her car in the garage under the cover of darkness.

    However the biggest twist of the season: Linda has a skinnamarinkeedinkeedoo with Chris at the top of the stairs and she accidentally gives him a little tumble. Eric, who is seranading Linda back from Chris' pool deck, concocts a lie that ends up with him being framed for attempted murder of Chris the Soap Millionaire.

    Y'all, I know about the audio I'm sorry.

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  • Republished from The Melrose Place 'Cast, available at:

    ⁠⁠⁠Melrose Place Cast on Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠

    or

    ⁠⁠⁠Melrose Place Cast on Spotify

    I don't know what's bigger news - the storylines in Models Inc. or that Hardee's used to sell cinnamon raisin breakfast sandwiches for 99 cents. Also, that last claim was quickly debunked.

    Chris and Linda continue in their odd relationship, now with a new daddy! Carrie, the sister of the original most beautiful woman in America, feels old and ugly. Monique, the new most beautiful woman in America turns down Brian only to be dejected by Reed Carter playing a character names Adam. Sarah is drunk as hell as though she never left Iowa and David and Julie break up, get back together, start a business, dissolve the business, and break up again.

    Oh, and as will always be the case, Hillary wins.

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  • Republished from The Melrose Place 'Cast, available at:

    ⁠⁠⁠Melrose Place Cast on Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠

    or

    ⁠⁠⁠Melrose Place Cast on Spotify

    Monique is standing up for herself, and she wants you to know that while she is the Most Beautiful Woman in America, she is NOT Teri Spencer. Depsite, actually, being Teri Spencer. She won't date Brian, but the woman who is played by the Most Beautiful Ghost in America seems to have taken a shine to Reed Carter (called "Adam") - who can only be described as the Most Mansexy Ghost in America. Two murdered characters hooking up? This is the Melrose Place spin off we needed.

    Paul is back, and Carrie suddenly doesn't want to see her son. So she sends him away.

    We are joined by Ursula the Sea Witch, who gives a job promised to Sarah to Monique. Julie gets the job of a lifetime, a six week tour of Europe, and Hillary makes it clear to David that the relationship is over. So David quits, loudly, in front of everyone.

    But the story of the episode is that Linda, who wears hats, is dating Chris, who was arrested for killing his maid as a child. Eric finds this out, attempts blackmail, fails, and ends up pushing Linda further away.

    We are ten episodes in, and zero percent closer to convincing Mary to watch the series.

  • Republished from The Melrose Place 'Cast, available at:

    ⁠⁠⁠Melrose Place Cast on Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠

    or

    ⁠⁠⁠Melrose Place Cast on Spotify

    The most beautiful woman in America is back, but not really, the most beautiful woman in America is still the most beautiful ghost in America, but Monique Duran is here and ready to insert herself into Teri Spencer's life. Brian is into Monique because she's actually Teri, Carrie is leaning on Monique because she's actually Teri, and Hillary is ready to build the agency around Monique because she's actually Teri. The most beautiful woman in America, ladies and gentlemen.

    Sarah from Iowa talks about field parties in Iowa, and starts tipping back on the bottle when Brian breaks up with her so that he can go back to the most beautiful woman in America who sprays herself with water to seduce, the camera. Yeah, that's right, the camera.

    We are back with GREAT 90s commercials. You'll never believe how much a sausage pizza at Little Ceasar's cost in 1994.

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  • Republished from The Melrose Place 'Cast, available at:

    ⁠⁠⁠Melrose Place Cast on Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠

    or

    ⁠⁠⁠Melrose Place Cast on Spotify

    We are fortunate this week to be joined by a surprise drop in special guest - Christopher from Melrose Sheltering In Place! Having seen the entire series, but somehow only a third of this episode, he brings us perspective on the long view. And he comes down on side Teege: Mary should watch this show.

    In what can only be described as a mid-season finale, all of the story lines wrap up. Eric and Linda are over, and Eric is leaving town. The porno blackmail has been dealt with. Sarah and David are done, and David is with Julie, where he belongs. Carrie comes clean about her son and Paul leaves her to go back to his wife. The murderer is revealed, jailed, and taken off of the show.

    But two new models are on the scene: Cynthia, who has a five year plan, and Monique Duran, who, I swear to god, is the most beautiful woman in America.

    Join us on our monthly check up on Models, Inc.!

    [email protected]

  • Republished from The Melrose Place 'Cast, available at:

    ⁠⁠⁠Melrose Place Cast on Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠

    or

    ⁠⁠⁠Melrose Place Cast on Spotify

    "Ladies and Gentleman, We Got 'Em!" is what you might imagine the LAPD saying as they have MADE AN ARREST in the murder of Teri Spencer. Hillary triumphantly announces this, saying "It's all over" even though she was also arrested for the murder of Teri Spencer and it did not turn out to be all over at that point. Something suggests there may be some twists and turns coming our way.

    Eric and Linda have a feud, as Linda refuses to bail Eric out of jail and says goodbye. Eric reveals that he still has the blackmail tape of Linda, and Chris rescues her as a prince charming yelling, "Stay away from her, she's mine!" Awww, sweet romance.

    Sweet Sarah from Iowa is not sleeping with Brian, sees that he has a shrine to her looking just like Teri Spencer, FEELS THE NEED TO SPEAK INTO THE CAMERA "he's making us look the same" and then goes back to David for comfort. Meanwhile, Julie is just going to move in with David. After all, keeping an eye on David is her favorite thing to do. But just an eye.

    But we start with some hot news from the Melrose Place facebook group where Teege's post about Models, Inc. generated more engagement than ANYTHING about Melrose Place in the last few months, including actual content from actual Jack Wagner who was the actual Dr. Peter Burns. Perhaps there is some Models, Inc. nostalgia out there waiting to be tapped like a sycamore in a Vermont forest ready to release some maple syrup.

    Join us for this monthly update of Models, Inc. 'Cast!

  • Republished from The Melrose Place 'Cast, available at:

    ⁠⁠Melrose Place Cast on Apple Podcasts⁠⁠

    or

    ⁠⁠Melrose Place Cast on Spotify

    Julie is in charge.

    Julie is in charge.

    Julie is in charge.

    There, we've said it enough to make sure that it's clear that for about 20 minutes, Julie is in charge of Models, Inc.

    Stephanie takes advantage of Eric, who turns to drug dealing to make money. Linda starts a new relationship, and turns Eric in for drug dealing after he hits her.

    David still loves Sad Eyed Sarah (you have to listen to understand) but Brian is spending 12 hours with her in one day! Hillary comes to see David after she is released from jail with her striking blue jumpsuit, only to find that he has left. SCANDAL!

    Stephanie is oddly obsessed with the models on the wall and demands Eric tell her how he likes her body.

    If this seems scattered, welcome to Models, Inc.

    Also - not one single person seems to care who shot David.

  • Republished from The Melrose Place 'Cast, available at:

    ⁠Melrose Place Cast on Apple Podcasts⁠

    or

    ⁠Melrose Place Cast on Spotify

    Well, well, well, we are back to the murder mystery. Is it David? is it Brian? Who the hell is Stephanie? Why is Paul licking Carrie's feet? (Let the record show we did not discuss the foot licking in the show)

    Join us for another monthly update of The Models, Inc. 'Cast, likely the only podcast available to discuss Models, Inc. in great detail. Truth be told, we may become two of the top five experts in all of America on this great show. Follow along, and you, too, can become a Models, Inc. Know-It-All. Sure to make you popular at parties.

    We discuss Eric and Linda, as Linda gets thrown out of the house like trash. We discuss Carrie stalking her own son and getting busted by her son's mother both for stalking the son and sexing the father. All in a dramatic day, I suppose. David and Sarah break up, Stephanie makes it into the opening credits, Hillary is arrested AND ON TRIAL, Detective Soto is discredited, and dun dun dun, THERE IS A SHOOTING IN MODELS, INC!

    It's getting spicy up in here.

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  • Republished from The Melrose Place 'Cast, available at:

    ⁠Melrose Place Cast on Apple Podcasts⁠

    or

    ⁠Melrose Place Cast on Spotify

    Well, would you look at this show truckin' along? We are four episodes in, people seem to have gotten over the murder of Teri Spencer, Carrie is seducing the father of her child, Hillary is sleeping with a detective, Brian seems to be obsessed with Sarah, and David and Sarah are going to get married! I'm sure nothing will go wrong with their SURPRISE WEDDING TOMORROW THAT THEY ARE NOT TELLING HILLARY ABOUT!

    Also, during this show's original airing, Taco Bell was advertising 29 cent tacos, and let me tell you, we could all use that back in our lives.

  • Republished from The Melrose Place 'Cast, available at:

    Melrose Place Cast on Apple Podcasts

    or

    Melrose Place Cast on Spotify

    While Mary's not being persuaded, Teege is liking this show, dare we say, a bit more than Melrose Place! The drama, the intrigue, the underlying motivations never fully explored by the writers, it's all so fantastic!

    This week, Carrie keeps pushing her way in to the life of the family who adopted her son. We see two flashback scenes of Terry's last moments on the balcony, a detective interrogates, dates, questions, dances with, accuses, and sleeps with Hillary. Alone. All while Hillary refuses to let any of her models meet without a lawyer.

    Plot twist: Eric continues to be awful, this week seeming to pimp out his girlfriend on the hopes of getting a break in his music career.

    And we learn why Sarah is so squeamish about moving too fast with David - she's holding out for her first time to be special.

    Also, some fun back story on what awful people Chaz and Hank were. #stillspinningoff

    All this, and more, on this episode of Models, Inc.!

  • Republished from The Melrose Place 'Cast, available at:

    ⁠Melrose Place Cast on Apple Podcasts⁠

    or

    ⁠Melrose Place Cast on Spotify

    The key of the season has truly been found! Carrie finds out that her son is actually alive and well, and she tries to crash into his life by having an affair with his father. David and Sarah agree to pursue a secret relationship, since Hillary disapproves. What could go wrong? Two suspects in Teri's murder are identified: Hillary because Teri received a threatening note about leaving and was seen fighting with Teri on the balcony, and Carrie who had flashbacks of fighting with Teri on the balcony. The message: don't fight on balconies.

    Meanwhile Hillary lays down the law with Detective Guy and lets him know how he will and will not be allowed to investigate Hillary's people.

    Y'all, this show is great!

  • Republished from The Melrose Place 'Cast, available at:

    ⁠Melrose Place Cast on Apple Podcasts⁠

    or

    ⁠Melrose Place Cast on Spotify

    Well through a lot of back and forth, we reached an agreement: Mary would watch just two episodes of Models, Inc. and Teege would review them all. So let's get started! We bring you this one special episode of Models, Inc. in the hopes of getting you hooked on the show not currently available for purchase on DVD, digital download, or any streaming service. Legally.

    But WOW was the show good and yes, this is Teege writing the description. Join us for this special episode that had to be broken into three parts even though we had just one advertiser.

    And if you decide to watch Models, Inc. - please, please, please, email us at [email protected]. Please tell us we are not alone.