Episodes
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We are on the next to the last episode of White Lotus. This one is called 'The Lotus Eaters'...or as Corinne would more aptly title it 'Regrets.' Everyone at the White Lotus is making bad decisions and we are here with our pocket popcorn to watch it all. In this episode we discuss: whether there's a market for romantic dinner funeral cruises (for a sexier way to send loved ones off), how to successfully deal with a 'whole jar of irritated' or a 'bowl full of f*ck off' (hint-it's angry crying, and we're both experts), and why pumpkin patches and dinosaurs always go hand in hand. This whole episode hurts like a pretty little cut but we have no regrets as we round the corner into this (next to the) last episode at the White Lotus resort.
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We are on part 4 of The White Lotus which is titled 'Recentering' but would be better titled 'The Episode of Lies' because there's nothing centering about this resort. For example, Rachel's mother in law shows up uninvited to her honeymoon, Tanya gets a questionable suitor, we find out why Paula is gaslighting her 'friend' and Armond gets his face caught in someone's backside. Additionally, in this episode we discuss: the most effective weapon you could find in a resort spa, how dolphins stimulate their nether regions, and how our gentle listeners can play a drinking game by taking a shot everytime we say pointedly (cause it's a lot). We are more than halfway through our stay here at the White Lotus and the train is coming off the tracks. But we are here for the (choo-choo) wild ride.
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Missing episodes?
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We are in Episode 3 of The White Lotus and this episode has everything: mysterious monkeys, sexual innuendos and all kinds of bad decision dinosaurs. The mysterious monkey is Mark who decides to regale his teenage son about his sex life, the sexual innuendos come from Armond who's trying to proposition his employee, and the bad decisions are coming from everyone, like rapid fire. In this episode we discuss the magic of Cracker Barrel, SNL's Bowen Yang as Moo Deng the pygmy hippopotamus, and how some of the hotel guests would miss a red flag even if it was flung in the air by a flag girl squad accompanied by a school band while 'Your a Big Red Flag' was sung to the tune of Grand Ol' Flag. This is the most 'bananasa' episode to date and we are saddling up alongside the other Mysterious Monkeys to enjoy the show and we hope you join us.
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We are deep in episode 2 of The White Lotus and things are getting stickier in the relationship departments. The Mossbachers get a bit of good news, the Suttons get deeper into their problematic marriage and the White Lotus staff get stuckier (is that even a word?) into their guests' drama. In this episode we discuss: Thigh Master and Infinity Hoop envy, how Corinne was a more drug savvy child than Tamara, and how The Pineapple Room is Shane's Moby Dick. If this episode were an infomercial we would be hard selling episode 2 of The White Lotus, which you can get absolutely FREE if you tune in NOW!
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We are beginning our new series this week, The White Lotus. It's a dark 'comedy' instead of a rom-com but since we're in October it seems fitting. In our first episode we learn that the White Lotus is a luxury resort in Hawaii where we meet 'The Arrivals': the Mossbacher Family, Tanya McQuoide, and The newlywed Suttons who all have reservations at the posh accommodations. During the first days we realize that everyone has their own secrets and struggles bubbling under the surface that will eventually materialize as the series goes on. In this episode we: give pro travel tips like 'don't travel with your mom's ashes in a garbage bag', discuss whether the 'Pineapple' in the Pineapple Room stands for swingers or hospitality and describe how the glorious Jennifer Coolidge will suck the life out of us (and we'd probably like it). This series has everything diva twins, a prick baby man and the plunge pool Corinne requires so we hope you join us this week for our standing reservation at The White Lotus.
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We are at the grand finale of our Four Weddings series, episode 10 (or as we lovingly refer to it episode X) and it's a doozy. We finally get to the last wedding and the big question is who's getting married? There are so many choices: is it Maya and Kash, Ainsley and Bryce, Duffy and Gemma or Tony and Andrew? We will find out together as well as discuss: the difference between a murder invite and a marriage invite, why mailing a letter is a dangerous sport and if your next wedding reception should include a music compilation from 'WOW That's Wedding Music 5 Featuring Little F*ckFace. We are very sad to see this series end but glad we experienced the mega happy ending so we hope you join us for the joy and festivities of Four Weddings and a Funeral Part 10.
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We are in the home stretch! It's episode 9 of Four Weddings & a Funeral and this one is chock full of love and betrayal and more love. Maya and Kash finally get together, Duffy and Gemma finally get together, Bryce and Ainsley finally get together and lastly Ainsley gets her 'Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal moment' that we all knew was coming. In this episode: we caution our gentle listeners not to be judgemental Jehovah's, argue whether bridges are more important than immigrants (**hot take their both valuable), and invent an app where Idris Elba comes and rescues you from bad dates. We contemplated titling this episode 'The Shit Hits the Fan, Bruh!' which is super fitting but we hope you find out for yourself and listen to this week's episode of Four Weddings and a Funeral Part 9.
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We are on Episode 8, (aka the Ocho) of Four Weddings and a Funeral, and it's chock full of 'Shhhh' secrets. Maya and Kash begin secretly seeing each other 'super casually', Duffy and Gemma secretly try to push Ainsley and Bryce into a relationship, Craig and Zara discover something that will change their relationship forever and we finally get our third wedding. In this episode we discuss: how 'put on a kettle' and 'stick around for tea' are not sexual innuendos, try to spread the good word of 'ODK' (but we're not going door to door), and we revisit Nacho-pocalypse-where flipping a plate of nachos is equivalent to flipping someone off. This is another redo because Corinne's Zoom recorder hates her but the second time's the charm and we hope you join us for Four Weddings and a Funeral part Ocho.
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We are in the afterglow of our second wedding of the series but fear not gentle listeners the sh*t is about to hit the fan with our 7th episode of Four Weddings and a Funeral. Duffy is still unhinged and his hair is even more unhinged. Kash is pining for Maya and they're stuck working together in a community theater and Maya, well she's keeping secrets, and kissing everyone. In this episode we discuss: Corinne's anxiety around a locked door and how there's (very possibly) a dead person behind it, what exactly an LGBT-Rex is, and the wonderful Christmas album Adele and Sam Smith would make if we lived 50 years ago and they had to fake a marriage. And since the bulk of this episode is set in a theater there is (of course) singing of show tunes and definitely a lot of drama, so we hope you tune in for part 7 of the series.
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It's sexy episode 6 of Four Weddings & a Funeral and we finally have a wedding! Guess who is getting married (in case you couldn't tell from our episode image) it's Craig & Zara! The formerly estranged couple is tying the knot, throwing the tackiest wedding in all of Great Britain and We. Are. Here. For. It! In this episode we discuss: why you don't cast Idris Elba as your best man, what your wedding would look like if you married Willy Wonka, and why your wedding cocktail shouldn't be Khalua and tomato juice. And if that's not incentive enough we hear Corinne give the 'lamest' yeah you've ever heard. But it's the only 'lame' thing in this episode so we hope you RSVP to attend episode 6, because we'd love to take you as our +1 to Four Weddings and a Funeral.
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We are halfway through our series Four Weddings & a Funeral, and who did Maya kiss?? If you listened to last week's episode you know...and probably feel as conflicted about it as we do. In this weeks snippet we get a front row seat to that kisses aftermath and: discuss Craig's questionable taste in apartment decor, ask who had more chemistry than Maya and Duffy (hint it's just about everyone), and chant our mantra 'friends that take drugs together stay together (we of course are not talking the illegal kind). Things are simmering in this week's recap and we hope you stand in polyester solidarity with us as we watch all the drama on Cinco de Four Weddings & a Funeral
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We've finally hit it folks, part 4 of Four Weddings & a Funeral (aka the funeral portion). And although the episode was on the somber side we had so many highlights and laughs we truly did put the FUN in funeral. The somber bit was Gemma and Giles (and the rest of the Fabulous 4) said goodbye to Quentin. The FUN bits were: when we proposed doing 'The Hustle' to bagpipes as a wedding march, discussed British slang at length (like twat, wanker and fanny), or when Corinne graciously explained how washing machines worked and Tamara graciously explained back how rich people spend their money. The bits of information we give in this episode are gems and we hope they bring you a few bright spots in this darker chapter of Four Weddings and a Funeral Part Four.
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We are three deep into our 4 weddings and a funeral series and things are falling apart with the fierce-some foursome. Ainsley gets cut off by her parents, Maya gets harassed by her new employer, Craig is still pining after Zara and Duffy can't get out of his own way to find love. In addition to the drama we discuss: how often is the proper amount to masturbate, if Peter Dinklage is so talented he could act in any role (including an NBA star), and why we both yell 'Not Haroon!!!' In near unison. So far we've only had a wedding but (spoiler) a funeral is not too far away so stay tuned and see who kicks the bucket in this episode of Four Weddings and a funeral.
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It's our second exciting installment of the Four Weddings & A Funeral saga, and last time we were left with a cliffhanger-Kash was about to leave Ainsley at the altar. In this episode we will find out: if they went through with the wedding, if Maya will get her head out of her ass and leave Senator McCheatyPants and if Craig and Zara will survive his 'secret' love child? In addition to our awesome recap we also discuss: bad ODK business ideas like Body Scented Body Wash, whether relationships can be built on great sex alone and give pro dating tips like 'how you can give your dog a bone but you shouldn't give your dog walker a bone'. We are only half a failed wedding into this series but will RSVP to all the drama and hope you'll attend part deux of Four Weddings & a Funeral with us.
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We are back Gentle Listeners! We're slightly fresher than before our vacation and doing something a little different. For the next few weeks we are recapping a rom-com series called Four Weddings & A Funeral. This Hulu show has 10 episodes and we'll be going over one, every week. In the first episode we meet the main cast of friends: Maya, Ainsley, Craig and Duffy as well as the colorful characters that are in their orbit. We find out that Maya inadvertently falls in love with her bff Ainsley's boyfriend, Duffy attempts to proclaim his love to Maya and Craig finds out he's a daddy and not the kind his high maintenance girlfriend wants. We peppered this episode with commentary as well as some accidental beauty tips such as: how to easily disguise a dripping wet bra filled with aquarium rocks, how chlorinated hair works and how to escape really aggressive stylists that are dying to get their hands on your locks. Hopefully you got the memo that we were on break but if not we hope that you're not mad at us for being gone. But we are back to business as usual (kind of)
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We're on the last episode of 'Movies that May make you say WTF' and Corinne picked a doozy. This week we are doing Redline, starring Nadia Bjorlin as Natasha, a car savvy mechanic by day and a singer by night. Until she meets Carlo, played by Nathan Phillips who accompanies her to the dangerous world of underground street racing. In this episode we: contemplate what the best snacks are to store in your cleavage, agree that nothing says 'I love you' like a kidnapping, and have a heated debate over the ratings; Corinne dubs this film a terrible, wonderful masterpiece while Tamara regards it as The Fast & Infuriating. This movie got our motors running for very different reasons but we gave it all we got and hope you join us as we caress the Redline. Episode drops May 21st. Also as a reminder we are taking some time off. This will be our last episode until July 30th. We will miss all of our gentle listeners in the meantime but bid you adieu with one dry kiss.
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This week's movie that 'May make you say WTF' takes us back to L.A. specifically to Encino CA. where we are covering the 90's hit Encino Man. It stars Sean Astin as Dave, an unlikely protagonist who digs up a frozen caveman, played by Brendan Frasier, with the help of his reluctant friend Stoney, played by Pauly Shore. In this episode we: marvel at how 2 of our most recent movies starred leading men that needed to be shaved and taught english, argue whether a caveman of the 90's would use peanut butter or sh*t as his preferred medium for cave paintings, and agree that Dave is as bland as a baloney sandwich with no mayo. We are still recovering from the aftershocks this movie gave us but we hope you join us for the earth shaking saga that is Encino Man.
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This month's theme is 'Movies That MAY Make You Say WTF?!?!?' Our first WTF movie is Earth Girls Are Easy. It stars Geena Davis as Val, a heartbroken girl who's just discovered her fiance Ted has been cheating, but Val finds distraction in a trio of horny aliens who land in her backyard pool, they are: Mac played by Jeff Goldblum, Wiploc, played by Jim Carrey and Zeebo, played by Damon Wayans. In this episode we: speculate that the cheating Ted is a sociopath and one we will NOT be having a Ted Talk about, explain that just because things are called toiletries doesn't mean they belong in the toilet, and give helpful tips on how to handle hairy nipple patches. We marveled at the budding talent in this movie, laughed entirely too much at our own jokes, and now agree that Earth Girls Are Easy and very very entertaining.
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It's the last episode of our April Fools theme and we're ending it with a bestie bang! We're doing Romy and Michele's High School Reunion, starring Mira Sorvino as Romy and Lisa Kudrow as Michele, two ditzy friends who decide to fabricate an 'impressive' life in order to dazzle their classmates at the 10 year reunion. In this episode: we hypothesize what our Shark Tank pitch would be for Lady Fair-Quick Burning Cigarettes, Corinne explains how partitions are a priority for privacy...and nookie, and we get Romy and Michele's origin story, which include their ambitions to be sex workers (and there's a prequel to prove it). We enjoyed reliving some of our high school cafeteria memories and we'd love it if you'd join us at our table so we can hang and gossip about Romy and Michele's High School Reunion.
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This week we're covering the 'April Fools' movie Legally Blonde, AND we are waxing poetic about the late great podcast Let's Go To Court. Both showcase court cases but only Legally Blonde stars Reese Witherspoon as Elle Woods, a heartbroken college student who in an attempt to win her boyfriend back, applies to Harvard and gets accepted. In this episode we: debate on whether being named Chutney is motive enough to murder your parents, marvel at how Elle is the 'pinnacle of diversity' at Harvard, and discuss our signature styles which consist of beige wallflower camouflage, orange swim goggles and Beiber hair. We are heading to court in more ways than one this week and we hope you join us as we drink from our Owalla's, say 'podcast adjourned' to our beloved LGTC and find out what it's like to be Legally Blonde.
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