Episodes
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Happy December!!!
I am so very delighted to introduce you to one of my favorite moms on the planet - Dana Sheheane! This episode is a simple, rambling and lighthearted chat with one of my real life mom friends. You will LOVE her! She’s one of us folks.
I feel like we can raise amazing Christian kids - if we are wearing the right bra and our coffee stays warm. Amen? So let’s dive into some practical ideas and a girlfriend chat.
The majority of the episode is just fun ideas and simple tips for your everyday life. However, don’t miss the end. We talk about a few intangible and critical things you need to survive in 2025 - from margin to community. Enjoy her wisdom and her adorable laugh!.
In this episode, we chat about:
Perimenopause Chico’sHeating matsStitch gunsEmbarrassing kids Best bra per DanaSolution for cold coffeeAnd much more!Love,
Courtney
(05:55) Parenting Insights and Challenges
(11:58) Holiday Traditions and Family Dynamics
(18:52) Navigating Hormonal Changes
(29:56) Embracing Embarrassment as Parents
(39:04) Must-Have Gadgets for Everyday Life
(45:14) Finding Joy in Everyday Challenges
(51:16) Building Community and Connection
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess
Courtney DeFeo
Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith
Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide
Resources from today’s show:
Wild Interest podcast
Dana’s Story - StoryTellersLive Part 1
Dana’s Story - StoryTellersLive Part 2
Lighthouse Family Retreat
EOS Lotion- not cherry. No scent. We lied
FYY Food Warming Mat
Dawn Platinum Powerwash Dish Spray
Coffee Mug Warmer
Stitch Gun
Podcast episode i LOVED lately
Diva Detergent
Best Bra per Dana
Treasures in the Dark by Katherine Wolf
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As parents, we know raising kids is the opposite of neat and tidy. Each day brings wins, losses and valuable lessons. Pardon the Mess is a place where we discuss parenting and faith in a biblical, approachable and relatable way. We may cry and laugh while we learn and grow together in our beautiful mess. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. To find practical and spiritual advice to help you grow into the parent you want to be visit www.ChristianParenting.org
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“But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44)
It’s one thing to love your neighbor as yourself, it’s a whole other thing to love your enemies. As believers, we aren’t called to ignore our enemies or to tolerate our enemies, we are called to love them and to pray for them. This is a radical teaching that goes against the norm in society because it is much easier to judge or gossip about our enemies (guilty!). But even more, we are supposed to love our enemies without expecting anything in return.
Scripture makes it clear that the most powerful way we can actually love our enemies is to pray for them.
We begin to see a change in ourselves as we pray for others. First, we start to see our enemies the way God sees them, and God sees them as his beloved and dearly loved children, just like we are. Second, we can be freed from bitterness, resentment, and anger by praying for our enemies as our hearts are softened by the Holy Spirit.
So, this week let’s pray that our kids will love their enemies in a radical way and that they will begin to see themselves as God sees them.
Father God, loving our enemies starts with us. I pray that ___________ would learn to love their prayed and pray for them while establishing healthy boundaries. I pray that their hearts are softened towards the people who treat them poorly so that they see them the way you do. I pray for reconciliation and peace if ________ is being bullied or bullying others. Give me wisdom in those conflicts. Amen.
Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
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I crave mentors and wisdom! I feel like I can spot wise women in any room. Lisa Clark is one of those mentors and I’m delighted to share her with you today. You will absolutely love hearing her “best and worst parenting advice” as she thinks back over her 35 years of parenting.
As a grandmother now, she is at a place in life where she can look back and assess what was true and what wasn’t. Some advice is helpful and some is not. Some advice is biblical and some is not. Lisa shares so many incredible pieces of encouragement with us today - from how to discipline, the role of dads, when and how to have sex talks and much more. Lisa prioritizes her faith in a beautiful way but also has a very solid grasp on the realities we are facing as moms. I always feel lighter and more encouraged after time with her.
My favorite part is at the end when she shares why we should be deliberate in teaching the gospel. She gives very specific ways we can do this and reminds us why it matters. I am praying that you feel so deeply seen in this episode and that the work you are doing as a mom matters.
In this episode we discuss:
Some best and worst parenting adviceWhy adult children are amazingHow to trust our gut as mothersHow to help our kids learn boundariesHow to be our child’s advocate firstEnjoy!
Courtney
(00:00) Navigating Grandparenting Dynamics
(02:12) The Myth of 18 Years
(04:31) Evolving Relationships with Adult Children
(06:50) The Balance of Discipline and Gentle Parenting
(10:51) Challenging Conventional Parenting Advice
(14:58) Trusting Your Instincts as a Parent
(18:24) Navigating Kindness and Boundaries
(20:29) The Importance of Sleep Schedules
(22:25) Open Conversations About Sex
(25:52) The Balance of Parenting Styles
(30:33) Empowering Dads in Parenting
(33:38) Intentional Gospel Teaching
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess
Courtney DeFeo
Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith
Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide
Resources from today’s show:
Wild Interest podcast
Connect with Lisa Clark
Raising Sinners book by Lisa Clark
Raising Sinners podcast by Lisa Clark
Age of Opportunity by Paul David Tripp
Crossover at OU
Dr. David and Amanda Erickson episode - Discipline, Consequences
Birds & Bees (Mary Flo Ridley)
Dangers of Growing Up in a Christian Home
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“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34–35)
We are commanded to love others the way we love ourselves—which is kind of hard when we sometimes aren’t so nice to ourselves (we can pray against that for our kids). But we are also called to love others the way Jesus loves us: sacrificially and actively.
For our kids, love as an action means more than being kind to everyone, it means our kids notice when someone is left out and they include them. It means forgiving others, standing up for others, noticing the lonely, and looking for ways to serve others. It’s not always easy, but it’s always good.
When we love people in this way, the people around us notice that there is something different about us. The love of Christ shines bright so the whole world can see that we are his disciples. That is what it is all about because, at the end of the day, the most loving thing we can do for the people around them is to tell them about Jesus and his great love for us.
So this week let’s pray that our kids love others with their words and their actions. Let’s pray that when people see the way our kids treat others, they will see Jesus in them.
Jesus, thank you for loving us. Help ____________ to notice the lonely, the sad, and the hurting and love them well. May they always seek to be more than kind to everyone, but be moved to action so that they can show the world around them your love. Amen.
Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
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What an absolute delight! If I could have dinner with 5 people (dead or alive) - it would be Jesus, Princess Diana, my grandmother, Mother Teresa and Bob Goff. What about you? Are there people in the world that have shaped your mind and heart? Bob’s first book, Love Does, had a significant impact on my faith and the way I parent my kids. So, you can imagine it was PURE JOY to have this conversation today.
He sprays wisdom, inspiration and joy like confetti - so you will not be short on takeaways for this one. I loved his encouragement for us to, “GO BE YOU!” He encourages us to reconnect and rediscover how God made us. When we do that, we have less comparison with other moms. And we can settle into who we are. And then, as parents, we get to help our kids settle into who they are.
One of my favorite parts is when he talks about his role as a dad and grandfather. He encourages us to ask “What do they uniquely need that only I could give?” Let’s sit with that today and try not to overcomplicate it. What do our kids, friends and family need that only I could give?
- Courtney
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess
Courtney DeFeo
Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith
Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide
Resources from today’s show:
BobGoff.com
Catching Whimsy - Bob’s new book
Love Does - Bob’s first book
Daily Drills
In This House, We Will Giggle
Wild Interest podcast
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
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“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads” (Deuteronomy 6:5–8)
To love God with all our hearts is to love God despite our emotions and our circumstances.
To love God with all our soul is to rest in him. It is to know our creator and to be in relationship with him, knowing that he is where we will find peace and eternal rest.
To love God with all our mind is to know God, but also trust him with our life, our soul, and our story. It is to know that he is sovereign and knows what is best for us.
To love God with all our strength is to live our faith in everyday life. It is to serve him by using the gifts that he has given us, being the hands and feet of Jesus, and putting into practice all the things we know to be true about God.
We love God fully when we love him in these ways and it is that full love that overflows into the way we love others. So this week, let’s pray that our kids will love God fully in every area of their lives.
Jesus, you love us completely, fully, and perfectly. May __________ love you with their whole heart, soul, mind, and strength. May their love overflow in a way that everyone around them notices there is something different about them. May they grow in their love for you every day and every year. Amen.
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Happy Thanksgiving!
I hope you are having a beautiful day with your friends and family. I am so very thankful for each of you. I got to meet several of you in person at a recent retreat - and you were so kind to stop me and tell me the impact this podcast is having on your life. I care about each of you so much and it was so refreshing to meet you in person and hug you tight.
Today’s episode is just ME! I decided to pause from interviewing guests and start a series that we will sprinkle in over the next year or so. As I am launching my first child into the world, it’s fun to look back and think “What mattered most?” One of the things that has mattered most in our parenting journey is the topic of GENEROSITY.
As Ron and I reflect, we do believe making that a priority in our home has genuinely impacted our girls’ faith - in big and small ways. We didn’t always get it right - but we did make sure we spent very practical time giving to others. This is way more than giving money - it’s our time, talents and more.
Today, you will hear some super practical ideas too for the holiday season. You can find 100 free ideas over at Light ‘Em Up. Enjoy this season with your family shining the light of God. Praying we each have eyes to see where God is moving and that we have the courage to step in and be a part of it this Christmas season.
Send me some stories after the fact!
Much love,
Courtney
00:00
Thanksgiving Greetings and Gratitude
10:25
Living Generously: Personal Stories and Experiences
20:02
Creative Acts of Kindness and Community Engagement
25:52
Making Room for Generosity
33:20
Listening for God's Guidance
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess
Courtney DeFeo
Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith
Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide
Resources from today’s show:
Light ‘Em Up - acts of kindness ideas
In This House, We Will Giggle - Courtney’s first book
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
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“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18)
We tend to tie gratitude to our situation. We feel grateful if life is good or we feel happy. We feel grateful when God answers our prayers the way we want.
But God’s challenge to us is to rejoice always, pray continually, and give thanks in all circumstances! And even when we don’t feel thankful for our circumstances, we can be thankful for this: God loves us enough to heal us (like he healed the lepers), God loves us enough to provide for us, protect us, and guide us. And most importantly God loves us enough to send his only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross and forgive us our sins.
On our kids’ journey of faith, it’s important that they learn to love God by expressing their gratitude to him. This week, let’s pray that our kids always have a grateful heart, even when it’s hard. Let’s pray that they would recognize God’s blessing in their lives and actively praise him for them.
Jesus, thank you for showering us with blessings and for changing our lives by going to the cross! May ____________ always remember that you are good. May they bow before you in reverence and awe knowing that you are worthy of praise and may they acknowledge the way you work in their life, always remembering to have a posture of gratitude towards you. Amen.
Listen to the Gratitude playlist on Spotify
Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
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This episode was incredibly special to me. I have long admired Pastor Louie Giglio and the work he has done through Passion Conferences and Passion City Church. I invited Amelia McBrayer, one of my favorite college kids, to join me in chatting about how to find authentic faith in the college years. This episode is packed with wisdom on how to help encourage our kids (and all of us) to not just know ABOUT God, but to really KNOW God.
Since 1997, Passion Conferences has gathered over one million collegiate-aged young people in events across the U.S. and around the world. It was so much fun to bring one of those students on the podcast with me today - to share what God has done through Passion and how her life has been impacted by Jesus.
My favorite part is when he talks about the ups and downs of faith. That we need to keep praying and believing for the faith of our kids - but never to shove it on them. He encouraged us to spend more time doing what we want our kids to do. He reminds us that our time as parents in God’s word and praying will have a massive impact on the lives of our kids.
In this episode, we discuss:
How to stop shoving faith on our kidsPower of praying and believing for your kids’ faithHow to practically put a touch point with God - easy ways to connectTips on how to grow in a community as a college young adultEnjoy!
Courtney
Chapters
00:00
Introduction and Background
02:02
The Impact of Passion Conferences
06:03
Faith and College Life
10:51
Navigating Spiritual Challenges
15:04
The Power of Prayer and Authenticity
20:11
The Role of Devotionals
23:05
Maintaining Faith After Events
30:08
Prayer for the Next Generation
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess
Courtney DeFeo
Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith
Resources from today’s show:
Grace & Glory - Louie’s new devotional
LouieGiglio.com
Passion Conferences
Passion City Church
Christian Parenting store
Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
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“‘For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you, and my covenant of peace shall not be removed,’ says the Lord, who has compassion on you” (Isaiah 54:10 ESV)
Everything in our world may change, but God’s love will not be moved. Our kids will be disappointed too many times to count over the course of their lives. Despite our best efforts, even we will let them down. But throughout it all, God will not change, will not leave them, and will never let them down. His love is steadfast.
God loves us, and he loves our kids, with a fierce love. It’s hard to even wrap our heads around God’s love for us: the kind of love that led him to the action of sending his son to die on a cross to deliver us from our sins. While the unending, unshakeable, unbreakable, constant love of God may be hard to grasp, once we take hold of it, we won’t want to let it go.
For our kids to truly live a journey of faith, they must recognize and accept the full, steadfast love of God. So this week, let’s pray that our kids will truly feel God’s love for them. The enemy will lie to them and make them doubt God’s love for them, so our prayers in this area are essential!
Father God, you love us enough to send your one and only Son to die on the cross so we can be reconciled to you and live eternally with you. May ________________ fully know your steadfast love. I pray they feel your love wrapped around them today and every day, and I pray they can rest in that love. May they never doubt that no matter what is going on in their world, your love will not change. Amen.
Get your printed copy of A Life of Faith: Prayer JournalPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
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I am so fired up about this episode with Chris and Jan Woodruff. I believe serving together is one of the very best things you can do as a family. As I look back over 18 years as a mom, I can truthfully say that the times we have served together has deeply impacted each of us. We always see the best version of our family.
Many times, the service opportunities are only available for teens and older. When we discovered Lighthouse, we found a way for our kids to serve as young as 4 years old. In this episode, we talk about the benefit of serving and putting others before yourself. My goal for today’s episode is that it unlocks the power of serving together and motivates many to find unique ways to serve as a family.
My favorite part of the episode is when we talk about the benefits of serving together. We have both seen unique benefits on each of our kids. They have practiced and prioritized serving others and we can now see how it has helped develop their character and passions and gifts.
Challenge today: Go on a date with your spouse or grab some girlfriends and brainstorm: “What are the top values we want to instill in our home? In our family culture? And then how can we be intentional to live out those values?”
Enjoy!
Courtney
Chapters
00:00
Introduction and Family Background
03:02
The Importance of Service and Generosity
05:57
Building a Family Culture of Service
08:52
Transitioning from Volunteers to Staff
11:49
The Impact of Serving on Children
15:12
Finding Individual Strengths in Service
18:00
Creating Community Through Service
20:12
The Joy of Serving Together
22:25
Empathy and Growth Through Service
24:36
Building Community and Communication Skills
26:46
The Impact of Small Acts of Kindness
28:04
Finding Your Family's Serving Style
30:39
Navigating Overwhelm in Family Service
33:45
Encouragement for Busy Families
37:04
Getting Involved with Lighthouse
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess
Courtney DeFeo
Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith
Resources from today’s show:
Lighthouse Family Retreat
Light ‘Em Up - 100 simple ideas and random acts of kindness
In This House, We Will Giggle - Courtney’s book
Under shorts for women - you’re welcome
Christian Parenting store
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
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“So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, ‘If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free’” (John 8:31–32 ESV)
To abide in Christ is to remain, continue, or stay in Christ. It means taking what we know about who God is, who we are in Christ, and what the Bible says, and using those things to grow in a permanent relationship with the Lord. It means trusting him for all things—trusting we are loved, trusting his word is true, and trusting in his promises.
Truly knowing and following Jesus means continuing to grow our relationship with him. It’s a relationship worth investing in because it is the one relationship that matters: a relationship with Jesus gives us eternal life, peace in this lifetime, and allows us to bear good fruit and do good works.
This week let's pray that our kids will know and abide with Christ their entire lives and commit to deepening their relationship with him every day.
Jesus, I pray that ____________ would abide in you. That they would remain in your love and choose that every day of their lives. May they read scripture and learn about you in a way that lasts. Help them to keep your truth in their mind so that they may choose your ways over the world’s ways, and let it sink into their heart so that they become more and more like you. Amen.
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My friend, Heather MacFayden, is a mom of four boys and I am a mom of two girls. We have two very different (but equally enjoyable) parenting experiences. We are both podcasters, but we are also real life friends. We have had many conversations over the last 10 years about the unique differences between raising boys and girls.
We decided to take our offline conversations online for you! Part 1 is over at her podcast, Don’t Mom Alone - Boys vs Girls (Part 1): The Early Years. And today, you will hear Part 2 which is all about the dating years. We even get into the anxiety that comes with dances like homecoming and prom.
I learned several things from Heather about how boys are feeling during these dating years. After our chat, I immediately went and talked to the girls about how the guys may feel used at times. They are more than a prop in a photo. I was encouraged to hear that her boys want deep conversations and interesting girls.
My goal for this conversation was to grow our understanding and empathy of the opposite gender - especially if you only have 1 gender of children in your home. Let us know what you think! What do you wish moms of girls knew about boys? What do you wish moms of boys knew about girls? Send me a DM!
In this episode, we discuss:
-Dating challenges for teens today
-Ideas on how to help boys and girls interact when curiosity begins
-How social media and phones are impacting the dating process
-Seeing behind the homecoming drama - what is going on with each gender
Enjoy!
Courtney
(02:00) Empathy in Parenting: Boys vs. Girls
(04:04) The Challenges of Modern Dating
(10:05) Navigating Social Events and Relationships
(18:08) The Impact of Social Media on Dating Dynamics
(20:21) The Pressure of Appearances in Relationships
(21:06) Navigating Modesty and Self-Confidence
(22:38) The Emotional Impact of Rejection
(23:52) Social Media's Role in Self-Perception
(24:40) Understanding Boys' Perspectives on Relationships
(25:45) The Importance of Communication and Planning
(27:39) The Dynamics of Dating and Social Expectations
(29:52) Boys' Leadership in Social Situations
(32:11) The Cost of Social Events and Expectations
(33:34) Teaching Boys About Respect and Kindness
(35:27) Building Confidence in Girls
(37:53) Encouraging Individuality in a Conformist Culture
(39:55) A Prayer for Our Children
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess
Courtney DeFeo
Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith
Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide
Resources from today’s show:
HeatherMacFadyen.com
Don’t Mom Alone Podcast
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
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“As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend” (Proverbs 27:17 NLT)
Godly friends make us better, not out of shame or peer pressure, but out of a desire to see us faithful to God and pursuing his will for our lives. Godly friends know that God wants more for us than what the world has to offer, and so they will push us in that direction when we start to veer from the path.
Who our kids hang out with is important, iron sharpens iron and bad company corrupts character (1 Corinthians 15:33). Godly friends will help our kids grow in their faith and keep them accountable. Ungodly friends will bring them further and further from God’s truth.
So this week, let’s pray that our kids will be surrounded by true, godly friends and be a light to the friends around them who don’t know Jesus.
Jesus, I pray that ______________ surrounds
themselves with friends who know and love you. I pray they would encourage each other in faith, hold each other accountable, and that their friendships would draw them closer to you. Where there is conflict, may they be quick to show forgiveness, just as you forgave us. May _____________ be a light to those around them, always showing what a godly friend is. Amen.
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
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These two episodes with Dr. David and Amanda Erickson are packed with practical ideas for the little years. Truthfully, it can be overwhelming to determine how to discipline, redirect, manage chaos while not breaking the spirit of your child. I see a cultural shift from one extreme (punishing behavior out of kids and using fear) to another extreme - letting the kids run the house with no rules.
This couple has an approach that I really believe in - they combine child development with scriptural truth. I wish I had had them when my kids were younger. They focus on “what to do” vs “what not to do” which puts an upfront emphasis on your family’s values and expectations.
My favorite part is when they talk about how to take a biblical value like “trustworthiness” and live it out in the home. As you listen to this episode, I am praying you feel equipped and not discouraged. Their way isn’t a prescribed formula - it’s a parenting philosophy that has many benefits and ideas attached to it.
When my kids were little, it was so chaotic at times and I would get so overwhelmed at my lack of parenting principles and felt like I kept messing it up. You are not alone. Don’t give up! This work and effort will pay off.
In this episode, we chat about:
Cultural shifts in parenting stylesHow to build trust and honesty in parenting How to redirect behavior and manage chaosIdeas for discipline and consequencesEnjoy!
Courtney
Part 1
(03:03) Parenting Principles and Practical Application
(05:55) Cultural Shifts in Parenting Styles
(09:04) The Importance of Early Emotional Development
(11:53) Building Trust and Honesty in Parenting
(15:11) Consequences and Discipline Strategies
(17:53) Redirecting Behavior and Managing Chaos
Part 2
(2:30) Understanding the Impact of Fear on Parenting
(6:33) The Importance of Separation in Conflict Resolution
(9:10) Timeouts: Purposeful or Punitive?
(12:10) Channeling Physical Energy in Children
(16:20) Teaching Control Over Emotions and Actions 5
(22:00) The Role of Respect in Parenting 2
(23:48) Assuming the Best: Navigating Disrespect 3
(27:20) Affirming Positive Behavior in Children 4
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess
Courtney DeFeo
Resources from today’s show:
The Flourishing Family - new book
Identity Simplified
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy -
These two episodes with Dr. David and Amanda Erickson are packed with practical ideas for the little years. Truthfully, it can be overwhelming to determine how to discipline, redirect, manage chaos while not breaking the spirit of your child. I see a cultural shift from one extreme (punishing behavior out of kids and using fear) to another extreme - letting the kids run the house with no rules.
This couple has an approach that I really believe in - they combine child development with scriptural truth. I wish I had had them when my kids were younger. They focus on “what to do” vs “what not to do” which puts an upfront emphasis on your family’s values and expectations.
My favorite part is when they talk about how to take a biblical value like “trustworthiness” and live it out in the home. As you listen to this episode, I am praying you feel equipped and not discouraged. Their way isn’t a prescribed formula - it’s a parenting philosophy that has many benefits and ideas attached to it.
When my kids were little, it was so chaotic at times and I would get so overwhelmed at my lack of parenting principles and felt like I kept messing it up. You are not alone. Don’t give up! This work and effort will pay off.
In this episode, we chat about:
Cultural shifts in parenting stylesHow to build trust and honesty in parenting How to redirect behavior and manage chaosIdeas for discipline and consequencesEnjoy!
Courtney
Part 1
(03:03) Parenting Principles and Practical Application
(05:55) Cultural Shifts in Parenting Styles
(09:04) The Importance of Early Emotional Development
(11:53) Building Trust and Honesty in Parenting
(15:11) Consequences and Discipline Strategies
(17:53) Redirecting Behavior and Managing Chaos
Part 2
(2:30) Understanding the Impact of Fear on Parenting
(6:33) The Importance of Separation in Conflict Resolution
(9:10) Timeouts: Purposeful or Punitive?
(12:10) Channeling Physical Energy in Children
(16:20) Teaching Control Over Emotions and Actions 5
(22:00) The Role of Respect in Parenting 2
(23:48) Assuming the Best: Navigating Disrespect 3
(27:20) Affirming Positive Behavior in Children 4
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess
Courtney DeFeo
Resources from today’s show:
The Flourishing Family - new book
Identity Simplified
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
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“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near” (Hebrews 10:23–25 ESV)
Getting our kids to church can be a real struggle. They may fight you about it at any age (toddler to teen), it’s early in the morning and everyone wants to sleep in, and it can be hard to find a church community that meets the needs of everyone in your family. You may have been hurt by the church and find it difficult to trust a faith community again. If you identify with any of that, you are not alone in these struggles!
But we are not meant to do life alone and church is where we can find our best community. Attending church is also one of the ways we can get to know and experience God more.
The discipleship that happens in church is about relationship. There is a reason people often refer to their congregation as their “church family.” It is a place of encouragement where brothers and sisters in Christ can build each other up in love and spur each other on in faith.
So this week, let’s pray that our kids know and understand the value of church. Let’s pray that they will love the church and have a desire to serve with God’s family. Let’s ask God to help them love going to church and to feel loved, known, and safe there.
God, thank you for the gift of church. I pray that _____________ would love going to church, that it would not be something we convince them to do, but something they participate in out of love for you and your family. May they use their gifts to expand your kingdom and serve your church. Amen.
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
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I couldn’t wait to have a chat with the founder, producer and director of The Chosen, Dallas Jenkins. Although that’s super cool - I also wanted it to be practical for us as parents. He was fantastic!
My kids are very visual learners and I am sure many of your children are as well, so I wanted to hear his thoughts on creative storytelling. Some kids cannot read the Bible and get what they need right away. They don’t understand the context around the stories. Dallas is a master at providing context to scriptural truth through his TV series and films.
This conversation challenged me to keep thinking creatively about how we infuse virtues, values and faith in the lives of my kids. It encouraged me to keep living faith more than I lecture about it. We know that much of life’s most valuable lessons are “caught not taught.” It reminded me to relax if my kids are more into movies, books, music vs reading.
My favorite part is the amazing God story behind his newest movie for kids, The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. It is truly extraordinary how it came about. I can't wait to take my kids to see it (with all of their friends) and kick off the season that is all about the birth of our Savior.
In this episode, we chat about:
How The Chosen series changed my neighbor’s lifeHow to use creative storytelling in your parenting How Dallas’ latest movie came about and how it can benefit your familyEnjoy!
Courtney
(00:00) The Power of Friendship and Faith
(02:53) Transformative Impact of 'The Chosen'
(06:05) Family Dynamics and Sacrifices
(09:01) Creative Storytelling in Parenting
(12:00) The New Movie: The Best Christmas Pageant Ever
(14:55) Behind the Scenes of the Movie Production
(17:51) The Journey of Faith and Persistence
(21:00) Encouragement for Families and Communities
Connect with Pardon The Mess:
Christian Parenting
Pardon The Mess
Courtney DeFeo
Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith
Resources from today’s show:
The Chosen
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever
Christian Parenting Christmas Gift Guide
Carpool Conversations
Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org
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“And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God” (Philippians 1:9–11)
Biblical discernment is understanding something through the power of the Holy Spirit. It means being able to see what is good vs. evil, false teaching vs. truth, wise vs. unwise. Being discerning does not mean being judgemental, though it is easy to fall into that. Being discerning means being able to distinguish the voice and will of God from the noise of the world.
It is so easy to accept what we see on social media, the news, or the internet as truth. But so often, it is far from the truth. Even our favorite Christian writers, podcasters, or pastors could share false teachings. Our kids are growing up in a world that is completely different from the world we grew up in. The access to information alone is overwhelming, which is why we need to be praying that our kids know how to discern God’s truth in the world around them.
Our kids will face peer pressure to do things that they know aren’t right, they will be taught to follow their emotions and desires over the Lord, and they will be told that there are ways that are better than God’s. The ability to recognize those things as harmful and untrue is a gift that we all desire for our kids.
For our kids to truly live in God’s will, they need to have a discerning spirit, so let’s pray for their ability to discern truth this week.
Father God, I pray that ____________ will learn to test what they read, hear, and see with scripture. Help them to seek your truth above all else. I pray that your word will guide their paths. May they base their life on your truth instead of the lies of the enemy and of this world. Will you daily renew their minds and make their hearts wholeheartedly devoted to you?
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