Episodes
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Letâs just say it out loud. Big emotions from kids are hard. HARD. Your toddler falling to the floor in the middle of a store is HARD. Your kindergartner running away from you and screaming because they donât want to wear their shoes at the park is HARD. Your teenager stomping down the hallway, shaking the windows with the force of their stomps, is HARD.
Can we all agree? Itâs not fun. Itâs not easy. It rattles our nervous systems. It shakes us. It frustrates us. And all of that is normal.
Learn four things to know and do to make big emotions easier for you and your kiddos to handle.
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When I say something like, âThis is how to parent without punishment,â people respond with comments like, âHow will kids ever learn?â Or âWhat about when theyâre in the real world?â
It's a legitimate question based on how our society views parenting. This episode answers the question of "how will they learn" and gives you three non-punitive things to do to facilitate learning and growth for your child.
Mentioned in this episode:
How to Stop Yelling
Back-and-Forth Journal
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Itâs a funny title, I know. But donât we all just have a hard time liking certain people or groups of people sometimes? Listen in to learn how connected parenting principles can help us in all our relationships -- even with that cousin whoâs always trying to pick a fight at family gatherings.
Pssst... Learn how to stop yelling!
Grab my back-and-forth journal here!
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You tell your child they can't hit their sibling. They look in your eyes and nod solemnly. They really seem to understand! Then two minutes later, they hit their sibling again!
Aargh!
Why do our kids not listen to us, and what can we do about it? Listen to four solid explanations about what's going on in your child's brain -- and what you can do differently.
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It's a common approach: searching for the right consequence to change a child's behavior. But listen in to learn why this mindset doesn't lead to the change we're actually seeking. And try a new approach to help your relationship, help your child be successful, and help you feel more confident that your child is learning what they need to learn.
Mentioned in this episode: How to Stop Yelling
Back-and-Forth Journal
Episode 2: Society Says to Control Your Children. Say NO
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Raise your hand if you need a reset! (My hand is raised too!) You're not alone if you're struggling to maintain composure as you parent. This episode has four actionable, doable tips to help you reduce your yelling, and increase your connecting, today.
Mentioned in the episode:
How to Stop Yelling Course
Back-and-Forth Journal
Episode 14: How to Recover After a Parenting Blowup
Episode 9: 13 Easyish Ways to Connect With Your Kids
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This episode shares a real-life example of what I think connected parenting can look like. I often think itâs helpful to understand a concept when you can contrast it with something else. In this example, I show how my husband and I first parented in the more traditional way -- with threats and punishments and consequences -- and then how we switched back to connected parenting. In the end, I hope you will feel empowered.
Mentioned in this episode: How to Stop Yelling
Back-and-Forth Journal
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Here's your holiday pep talk to remind you that you don't have to do all the things and make everything perfect. Listen in for fun ideas to make the season easier and less expensive, and hear how to give yourself a break and actually enjoy the season -- the way YOU want to.
Mentioned in this episode:
Blog Post: When Christmas Is Depressing
Transforming Christmas: How to Give Experiences
First Name Basis Podcast: How to Center Indigenous Peoples During Thanksgiving
Back-and-Forth Journal
Pause and Connect Academy
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I don't know about you, but it seems to me like parents are given a lot of information on how to protect their small children from sexual abuse, but as children get older the advice seems to just... dwindle away. In my world at least, I don't see much about protecting tweens and teens. That's why I'm so happy to have Adrianne Simeone from The Mama Bear Effect on the podcast to share her expertise in protecting BOTH teens and children from sexual abuse. This episode is for all adults -- for parents of babies to teens, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers... really anyone who cares about children -- because we all can empower ourselves to protect them.
Adrianne generously offered to ship out a Rock the TalkÂź Parent Pack to Pause and Connect listeners. Use the code PAUSECONNECT at the link below.
Get a Rock the TalkÂź Parent Pack
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We have this belief in our society -- and itâs a good belief -- that parents are responsible for teaching kids important life lessons.
But I wonder if we sometimes go too far in our zeal to teach lessons. Do we need to manufacture lessons? Do we need to teach lessons in the moments of our childrenâs meltdowns? Do we even need to teach lessons in direct language every time?
These are important questions to ask ourselves.
Listen in for a parenting lesson from the comedy show "Arrested Development," plus five tips for handling your child's mistakes WITHOUT lecturing, punishing, or yelling.
Mentioned in this episode:
How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids
Episode 17: You Should Use Hugs in Your Discipline. Here's How
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"Your child isn't giving you a hard time. Your child is having a hard time." Learn why this phrase is lifechanging for parents and families, and get 6 doable ideas for applying this principle in your parenting.
Mentioned in this episode:
Back-and-Forth Journal
How to Stop Yelling
Brili app
13 EasyISH Ways to Connect with Your Child
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I wonder: Do my kids know that I like them just the way they are? Or do they think they need to change in order to receive my approval or my love?
I donât know for sure. I canât know whatâs really going on in my childrenâs minds.
But as I thought this through, I came up with 11 things I would personally like to make sure Iâm doing to show my children I like them just the way they are. What would you add?
Mentioned in this episode:
How to Stop Yelling
You Should Use Hugs in Your Discipline. Here's How
Episode 20: What Advice Would You Give to New Parents?
Connect with me on Instagram
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This episode is kind of a reminder and a how-to. It's a reminder that you really know your child better than anyone, and you have the right to let that guide your decisions and interactions. And it's a how-to on HOW to become more of a personal expert on your child. Learn how to trust yourself more completely.
Mentioned in this episode:
Article from The Chimerical Capuchin: I Read All the Baby Sleep Books
Back-and-forth journal
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Stepping back to let our kids learn their own lessons is a terribly difficult thing to do. But it's a critical parenting skill to practice. Listen to my dinosaur/kitchen towel example, and come away with a four-step process for how to let step back, let go, and watch your child flourish by learning lessons from their own experiences.
Mentioned in this episode: Back-and-Forth Journal for Parents and Kids
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We tend to value our own parenting and human worth based on how our children behave. It's normal because it's what our society expects of us, but it's also harmful. We can learn to reject this idea, and this podcast will show you how. This is an important topic. I hope you enjoy.
Mentioned in this episode:
Back-and-Forth Journal
How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids
How to Find Your Strengths
Episode 20: What Advice Would You Give New Parents?
Episode 22: How to Turn Ordinary Moments into Magical Memories
Episode 9: 13 Easyish Ways to Connect with Your Kids
Episode 5: Don't Dread the Teen Years: Fun Ways to Connect and Enjoy This Time
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All children need parents who see their strengths and parent accordingly. In this episode, my husband Ryan and I take the traits of ADHD that are considered negative, and we flip them. We show you how to view your child from a strengths-based perspective so that you can create your own powerful blueprint on what your child and family needs.
This episode is helpful for everyone, whether ADHD is a part of your family or not, because strengths-based parenting brings families together.
Related episode: Episode 19: What's Going on in the Brain of Your Child with ADHD
Use my back-and-forth journal to understand your child's strengths more deeply. Learn about it here.
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Our children deserve to be loved as they are, and they deserve to have the emotions and feelings they have. Itâs a simple enough concept, but itâs not so simple to put into practice, it turns out. As parents, we come with our own set of preconceived ideas, and it's challenging to meet our kids where they are.
This episode offers two ways to handle the parts of our children that challenge us. And it starts with my ridiculous quest to get my child to like speed bumps. (Face palm. You just have to listen.)
Mentioned in this episode: Episode 9: 13 Easy-ish Ways to Connect with Your Kids
Back-and-Forth Journal for Parents and Kids
How to Stop Yelling
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With six kids, the "fun" budget was small for the family of special guest Linda Brown (my mom!). But by tweaking normal situations just a little, she brought fun, magic, and unique experiences to our childhoods. Like the time we went through the day backwards to ward off bad luck, the time the family ate KFC under the kitchen table, or the time the Ding Dong Bandit came to town.
Listen in for inspiration on how to turn ordinary family moments and routines into special memories.
You also might like this related episode: 13 Easyish Ways to Connect with Your Kids
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Your kids are going to mess up. That's a given. So how do you know how to hold the right expectations for each kid? Unfortunately, there's no magic formula, but the mindset discussed in this episode will help you make the best decisions for your child, your family, and your circumstances. Learn 7 positive results and forward movements you can gain when you adopt this helpful mindset.
Mentioned in this Episode: How to Stop Yelling
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When my niece asked me this question for her child development class, "What advice would you give to new parents?", I was stumped for a minute.
What would you go back and tell yourself? Parenthood is SO VAST, so thereâs so much to say. But also, how can you say anything at all? Itâs not sum-up-able. Where do you begin?
I thought back over what has served me the most in my parenthood, and this episode details what I think is the most valuable parenting advice. I'm curious how you would answer the question. After listening, send me an email at [email protected], or reach out on social media.
Mentioned in this episode: Get 25% off my course, How to Know Yourself as a thank-you for being a podcast listener. Use the code: PODCAST
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