Episodes
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Today we have Brooke. She is 47 years old from Pittsburgh, PA and took her last drink on September 27th, 2024.
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[02:02] Thoughts from Paul:
When we get asked why we are not drinking, Paul shares that we should be turning the question around and asking them why they ARE drinking.
We can ask them questions like why they are spending $12 on something that can erode their insides and leave them with a hangover the next day. Or ask them why they are drinking a Class 1 carcinogen and is linked to seven different kinds of cancer?
Or another direction to go with this “why aren’t you drinking” question is that you don’t have to explain yourself or justify anything to anyone. In fact, be the catalyst. Be the one that switches the question in your community. But don’t shame people. Don’t say it with an aggressive tone but say it with presence and say it with love.
This isn’t about shaming anyone and it’s definitely not about you being right and others being wrong, but it’s about reclaiming the narrative. When you flip the question, you give others permission to question the script they’ve been handed. You become part of the change simply by standing in your truth.
[07:19] Paul introduces Brooke:
Brooke is 47 and has lived in Pittsburgh for 23 years. She has been married for 25 years, and they have two young adult children ages 22 and 20. She works in a test kitchen. For fun, she has pets, loves to garden, and has property to horseback ride on.
Brooke was the youngest of three girls. She and her family moved around a lot because of her father’s work and when she was 13, they moved to California.
When she was 14, Brooke was groomed into a relationship with her volleyball coach that lasted for two years. There was alcohol involved in a lot of their relationship, Brooke says. Brooke grew tired of the secret relationship and wanted to be a normal teenager with friends her age.
Brooke got a DUI when she was 18 which derailed some plans she had for college. She didn’t think she had a drinking problem but learned not to drink and drive. Brooke got a job working for a ceramic studio and met her husband soon after. After they married, they moved to Pennsylvania where her husband was from and began a family.
Having a newborn and not having any friends in a new place proved tough on Brooke. She and her husband were normal drinkers prior to this, but Brooke began drinking wine almost every day. There were a few occasions when she would drink too much and conversations would be had about it, but over time they would be forgotten, and it would happen again.
Tired of the cycle she was in, Brooke decided to quit and go to AA meetings. She says she didn’t go enough to become part of the community and after three years just stopped going. Brooke remained sober for another year after that. One day she randomly decided to have a drink and concluded that she could be a normal drinker. It worked for a while, but the cycle eventually returned.
After a night when Brooke had to be walked home by a neighbor, her husband confronted her. Brooke knew that words weren’t going to work and that she needed to take action to get this under control. She has learned to accept that she cannot drink and lives in that truth.
In recovery Brooke has learned that she loves yoga. She has always been a fan of recovery podcasts and still listens to them frequently. Brooke hasn’t attended AA and says that she isn’t against it, but her life is full now.
Brooke’s parting piece of guidance: if you’re here listening, just stay curious.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
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Today we have Kimmy. She is 34 years old from Montrose, Colorado and took her last drink on April 3rd, 2017.
This episode brought to you by Better Help – 10% off of your first month
Café RE – THE social app for sober people
Here are some upcoming events at RE:
Bozeman Retreat from August 6th-20th, 2025
Peru in October (registration closed)
Dry January 2026
Ukelele Course in February 2026
Costa Rica in February 2026
AF Songwriting Course in March 2026
[04:12] Thoughts from Paul:
A few weeks ago, Paul did an intro titled “How to Let Go” and then told us that had no idea how to let go. Since that episode, he has started looking at this from another angle.
Paul shares that there was a time in his life that he would drink over things that he was unable to let go of. He says that progress has not been in letting things go, but it has been in his reactions to events and happenings in life.
When drinking everything was a knee jerk reaction with no space between the stimulus and the response. Recovery has taught him how to pause, to wait, to gather his thoughts before responding to an event or trigger.
One strategy with this is to not add a good or bad label to whatever happens in life. What seems like an unfortunate life event now may later turn out to be a great thing. Our reactions to life in general are the key to letting go. If we lean into the space between stimulus and response, and remain neutral to all of life’s unfolding, there will be less that needs to be let go of.
[08:59] Paul introduces Kimmy:
Kimmy grew up Big Fork, Montana and grew up riding horses and competing in barrel racing and rodeos. She says overall she had a good childhood.
Kimmy says that she had her first drink when she was 17 and feels that drinking was a problem for her right from the start. Several events that happened in her teens drove Kimmy to use alcohol to cope with her feelings around them. She would take shots of her mom’s liquor and then drive 30 minutes to school already drunk.
After leaving college, a friend of Kimmy’s said she was moving to Telluride for ski season. Kimmy went with her and while the friend left after the season was over, Kimmy stayed because she enjoyed it there.
After having multiple rock bottom moments, Kimmy tried different techniques to quit drinking or moderate. They all backfired, she says. Eventually she turned to her faith in a moment of surrender. She didn’t quit drinking instantly, but over time grew to see that alcohol was no longer doing anything for her.
Kimmy took her last drink at the end of the ski season in 2017. It was one beer, and she isn’t even sure she finished it. She was able to quit and after nine months told her father, who also drinks, and he was so proud of her she just wanted to keep going.
Kimmy says working has been a big part of her recovery as she currently has four jobs. She stays close to her faith and although she doesn’t attend church, she reads her bible frequently. Kimmy has goals now and shares that she didn’t really have any after getting derailed by some events in her teenage years and turning to alcohol. It has taken time, but Kimmy is getting back to riding and competing and sees this current year of sobriety as a year of redemption as she looks forward to improving in these endeavors.
Recovery Elevator
It all starts from the inside out.
I love you guys.
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Missing episodes?
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Today we have Santino. He is 37 years old from Taunton, MA and took his last drink on May 24th, 2022.
This episode brought to you by Better Help – 10% off of your first month
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Recovery Elevator has merch! We have hoodies, patches, shirts, tank tops and bracelets. Help us keep this project going and shred the shame!
Last call for registration to our sober travel trip to Peru. Registration closes tomorrow June 3rd.
A study on the state of restaurants revealed that 40% of restaurants in 2025 plan to dedicate more space on their menus for alcohol-free drink offerings. And Door Dash reported an 82% jump in non-alcoholic beer orders in 2025 alone. Things are changing and they are changing fast!
[03:29] Thoughts from Paul:
On episode 527, Paul talked about how Gallitin County, Montana is the drunkest place in America. Ironically, this is where much of this podcast is recorded, and this is where Paul got sober. We are reminded that quitting drinking can happen wherever, whenever, regardless of how drunk we think our cities/counties/states are.
Recently Paul read in a newsletter about a local event that said, “come join us for a night of alcohol-free country line dancing, swing dancing and two step”. Paul reached out to the organization putting it on and they thanked him for his support and said that they believe that country, swing and line dancing shouldn’t be exclusive to bars.
We at Recovery Elevator couldn’t agree more. Rule 22 for the win!
[08:18] Paul introduces Santino:
This is Santino’s fourth appearance on the podcast. He first appeared on episode 397, and then returned for episodes 449 and 491.
Santino is 37 years old, has been married for 10 years and they have two children aged six and almost one. He is originally from the Midwest but currently lives in Massachusetts. Santino is currently working on writing a memoir regarding his childhood.
Drinking got out of control for Santino in his late twenties when he realized he was becoming a daily drinker. Trying to moderate didn’t work as the line in the sand got further and further away for him and he was drinking in isolation. Santino says before he could reconcile with the fact that he didn’t know how to stop, he had to first define what an alcoholic was.
Santino had dabbled in AA in the past while in active addiction as well as during a court order after a DUI. He never identified with it because he wasn’t ready to quit. After reconciling that he had a problem, he started going to AA regularly and participated in the meetings. Santino really resonated with the idea of a higher power.
The first six months into his recovery Santino says he struggled with shame. Coming to terms with his past is something that he knows he will be living with indefinitely.
Santino works in the addiction field and understands that relapses can be part of many people’s recovery. And while he feels that relapse isn’t a bad thing but is greatly stigmatized.
Santino says the most profound healing that took place when he stopped drinking was his perception of himself. He stopped putting so much stock into how other people viewed him.
To put his years of sobriety in terms of themes, Santino shares that the first year was “darkness” the second year was “climbing” and the third year so far has been “practice”.
Since Santino’s last interview he has welcomed his second son, continued to work on his relationships, still has the same job with the homeless and people with addictions, and working on being the best dad he can be to his two sons.
Santino’s parting piece of guidance: you have to treat sobriety like you would treat anything else delicate in your life. It requires carefulness, it requires mindfulness, but it also requires full vulnerability.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down. You have got to take the stairs back up.
You can do this.
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Today we have Jenny. She is 53 yeas old from Belgrade, MT and took her last drink on August 25th, 2015.
This episode brought to you by Better Help – 10% off of your first month
Exact Nature use code RE20 to save 20% off your order
The message that alcohol is good for you is outdated. Paul shares an article from GQ that was released shortly after the World Health Organization declared that no amount of alcohol is safe for you.
WELCOME to all our new listeners to the RE podcast!
[03:56] Thoughts from Paul:
In the interviews on this podcast, you’ve heard the word nature probably hundreds of times as a powerful tool to help overcome an addiction.
Today Paul shares with us a specific free tool that can enhance your experience in nature: the Merlin bird app.
There is science behind how birding can help you heal. Listening to birds reduces cortisol, slows your heart rate and triggers the parasympathetic nervous system which calms us.
The opposite of addiction is connection, and Paul shares that he feels a connection to some of his local birds. He encourages us to give birds a chance as they have the capacity to take our connection to nature to the next level.
[08:03] Paul introduces Jenny:
Jenny was originally a guest on episode 86.
Jenny lives in Belgrade, MT and says teaching fitness classes is her passion. She enjoys music, her chickens, playing golf and pickleball, and loves concerts and comedy as well.
Jenny had her first drink when she was just nine years old. Her parents drank socially and any time there was a party at their house, she and her brother or friends would sneak alcohol. In high school, she and her friends didn’t participate in activities, so they just drank and dabbled with marijuana and hallucinogens.
Jenny moved from Helena to Bozeman to attend college and it was then when the drinking and drug use ramped up. While working in a restaurant, Jenny says drinking after work was common, and she was later introduced to harder drugs which she used for several years.
Jenny quit the harder drugs but drinking remained. It ebbed and flowed after she got married and had kids. Her drinking escalated when her husband became a firefighter and would work very long shifts. This time was stressful for Jenny with multiple young children and battling postpartum anxiety. Over time Jenny would start drinking earlier in the day but felt she was very high functioning therefore didn’t see her drinking as a problem.
Jenny began to realize that her drinking was becoming an issue, but no one said anything to her, so she decided to quit on her own without telling anyone. She didn’t attend AA and just used exercise and podcasts to help her quit. It took a bit for others to notice, but she was confident in her decision in spite of them insisting that she didn’t have a problem.
In 2016, Jenny learned she had stage 2 breast cancer. She says that it was aggressively treated and once in remission, she didn’t know what to do with herself. She started running half marathons and decided to use her degree in exercise and wellness and started teaching exercise classes which she loves.
Recently, Jenny and her husband hit a rough patch, and they have been attending counseling. Their counselor told Jenny they thought she might be a dry drunk and suggested she start the AA program. Jenny says she needed to hear that and has recently began going to AA and has gotten a sponsor who she is about to tackle step work with. Jenny also has learned that she suffers from several different disorders that have given her a lot of “a-ha” moments about who she is.
Jenny shares her journey with the world now. She believes being our authentic selves is most important. Jenny has learned that she needs to protect her mental health and her sobriety above all.
Jenny’s parting piece of guidance: listen to that inner voice.
Recovery Elevator
We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up.
I love you guys.
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Today we have Kayleen. She is 27 years old, lives in Baltimore, MD and she took her last drink on April 6th, 2025.
Sponsors for this episode include:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month
Café RE – the social app for sober people
There are a few spots left for Peru in October 2025. On this 10-night, 11-day trip of a lifetime, we will be hiking the Inca Trail and participating in two service projects. Registration closes in about three weeks.
[02:35] Thoughts from Paul:
There is so much speak in the recovery world about letting go. In recovery meetings, many of the topics are centered around letting go.
Paul shares that he has spent years thinking he needed to figure out HOW to let go. Like there was a secret technique that was missing. In fact, all you can do is realize you’re holding on and this awareness is the first real step towards letting the sunshine in. Once you realize you are holding on, or bring awareness to something weighing you town, it immediately begins to shift on its own, and you don’t have to let it go.
Another thought is that it’s not even about letting GO, it’s more about letting IN. If something is nagging you, don’t let it go, let it in. It will eventually leave on it’s own, when the time is right, when it’s resolved.
Paul encourages us to have the strength to see where you’re holding on and then invite it in a little more.
[09:23] Paul introduces Kayleen:
Kayleen is 27, lives in Baltimore, and works as a server in a fine dining restaurant. She enjoys walking, being in nature, painting and going to Café RE meetings.
Kayleen says she never drank normally. She recalls being in ninth grade and taking swigs of liquor from her mom’s cabinet before getting on the school bus in the morning. Looking back, she thinks that she was always looking to escape her feelings.
In college, Kayleen didn’t go to parties and drink with others. She preferred to drink at home and didn’t want anyone to know how much or how often she was drinking. She would frequently drink before going to class and eventually was suspended from the university.
Kayleen was sent to detox three times in college for her drinking and self-harm. She wasn’t ready to quit drinking and would start back as soon as she got out. When she was 21, she was arrested twice for DUIs, and she wasn’t willing to stop drinking.
A year later Kayleen was married and their relationship revolved around alcohol where they drank together daily. Over the next three years Kayleen gained over 100 pounds, and her mobility was suffering. A doctor told her that due to her poor health, she might not see age 30. For Kayleen, the idea of quitting drinking didn’t feel like a possibility.
In April of 2023, Kayleen discovered the RE podcast. Within a month of listening frequently, Kayleen decided to quit drinking on May 25th – just for that one day. She woke up feeling so proud of herself she kept going. A few months later she joined Café RE and found community.
Kayleen began walking and ended up losing 60 pounds in the first year of sobriety. Her wife had quit drinking too, but that wasn’t enough to save the marriage. Kayleen ended up divorcing her wife and moved from Indiana to Baltimore to stay with her accountability partner that she met through Café RE.
In April of this year, Kayleen’s sister got married and it was at the wedding that she relapsed. She said within a day she was drinking just like she was before quitting and quickly turned to her community for help. Kayleen says she decided to quickly shred the shame and make sure she didn’t get stuck in a “woe is me” place. The community lifted her up and helped her realize that she didn’t lose her sobriety time and Kayleen shares that she learned a lot from the experience.
Kayleen’s parting piece of guidance: Just keep trying. Never, never, never give up on yourself.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
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Today we have Ben. He is 45 years old from Liverpool, UK and had his last drink on September 26th, 2021.
Sponsors for this episode include:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month
Sober Link - $50 off of device using this link
[02:01] Thoughts from Paul:
According to Stanford neuroscientist Andrew Huberman, all health, longevity, and your daily moods, along with your overall state of being, is tied to the quality of your sleep.
When you drink alcohol, the quality of your sleep drastically diminishes, leaving you in a state of disrepair the following day.
Paul shares many examples of how poor sleep affects our bodily functions and how drinking even small amounts of alcohol adds fuel to that fire.
When we remove alcohol and we begin entering deep sleep cycles again, all of these negative consequences of poor sleep start to disappear. It may not happen in one night but within time, trust the body and this function will return to normal.
[09:22] Paul introduces Ben:
Ben was a previous guest on Episode 364.
Ben started drinking when he was 14. It was tied into music and his social life. Alcohol and music helped him to escape the strife that he was having at school with bullies and being different than everyone else.
Drinking was a huge part of his rock and roll lifestyle. Drinking with bandmates while writing music, going out after practice and drinking after performances were all part of the landscape for Ben in his early 20s. This continued and progressed over the next decade.
Towards the end of his 30s, Ben says things started to get really dark for him. He found himself just wanting to drink on the tour bus and be left alone. The days of wanting to drink to socialize and be connected were gone for him.
When he realized his drinking was becoming an issue, Ben tried to stop for periods of time. Later on, to create accountability Ben would make pacts with his brother where if he drank on one of his 30-day breaks, his brother could sell Ben’s guitar. The idea of stopping completely was unthinkable to Ben at the time.
After a situation where Ben almost lost all of his musical equipment at the end of a tour, he started to look into AA. It was recommended to him by someone he knew who had gotten sober. He was a bit dubious of it because he thought AA was only for people that had a problem. When Ben first spoke at the meeting he thought he might end up making light of his story but found himself crying instead and made the statement that he was scared that if he never drank again, that there would be nothing for him to look forward to for the rest of his life.
Throughout 2020 and 2021, Ben would find himself having two day drinking binges nearly every week. He had just gotten an apartment without housemates or family for the first time and had no one he had to be accountable to. The fact that his job wasn’t 9-5 gave him a lot of free time. The moderation techniques began again because he wasn’t ready to believe he had to quit entirely.
After a few rock bottom incidents, Ben finally made the decision to stop. In the first few months he used a variety of tools including harm reduction. He allowed himself to play video games again and eat food that he had always denied himself while drinking. When he reached out to be on the podcast the first time, he utilized that as motivation to stay sober at least until the interview a few months later.
Year one of sobriety found Ben still having cravings and just getting used to life being sober but says years two and three found him celebrating personal and professional successes. He says life can still be complicated at times but has learned to use obstacles as opportunities. Meditation has been a powerful tool for Ben in his recovery in addition to journalling, limiting his phone usage, reading and exercise.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up.
I love you guys.
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Today we have Christopher. He is 27 years old from Melbourne, Australia and he took his last drink on July 13th, 2019.
Sponsors for this episode include:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month
On October 4th-15th, we are going to Peru! There are still three spots available for this 11-day 12-night journey throughout Cusco, Machu Picchu and the Sacred Valley. Included in this journey are hiking the Inca Trail and a service project with Peruvian Hearts.
[02:38] Thoughts from Paul:
Today Paul presents the third of a three-part series where he covers the healing one may expect in the first year away from alcohol. This week he covers the spiritual (not necessarily religious) component of healing and what can generally be expected over the course of the first year away from alcohol.
Spiritual growth isn’t necessarily linear and likely won’t start in the first week. There may have been a moment before your last drink when time seemed to stop, and you were pulled into the present moment where you could see where things were headed if you didn’t quit drinking.
For some this growth may involve religious exploration and for others it may just be feeling the pull to be in nature or seeing life synchronicities and being able to decipher signals of intuition in your body. Creativity may return and books like Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way can help unblock creative channels.
Paul shares many different ways spiritual healing can show up for people on the journey to being alcohol-free.
[09:28] Paul introduces Christopher:
Chris is 27 and lives in Melbourne, Australia. He is about to start being a psychologist in a few weeks where he looks forward to being of service, but currently is working in the restaurant area of a pub. For fun he enjoys the outdoors, running, hiking and is a fan of philosophy.
Chris’ drinking began like many others when he was in his teens. He says he instantly felt free, and his problems slipped away. He drank when the opportunities arose, and it was mainly binge drinking on the weekends.
Chris said he cared a lot of what others thought of him or if they found him interesting, so he began to believe that he had to drink in order to please them. This led to an escalation in his drinking and not long after he began to question his it but didn’t feel like it was an addiction. He kept himself busy to avoid dealing with those thoughts.
When Chris was 19 or 20, he was going into another semester at school and was exhausted. He decided to take this time to quit alcohol and drugs. He found himself thinking about alcohol a lot during this time and began to explore what this meant to him. Chris didn’t want to share with anyone what he was doing so kept it to himself.
After the three-month break, Chris went back to drinking and it wasn’t the same. He realized that alcohol had been ruined for him. He was drinking just because he was terrified of the alternative but eventually decided to quit and this time shared his intention with others.
In spite of having multiple years away from alcohol, Chris didn’t feel completely sober.
He recently began to prioritize his sobriety and utilize more resources in his recovery. He was listening to the RE podcast but also became more active in Café RE and started going to AA meetings and getting a sponsor. Realizing that he couldn’t do it alone was a big revelation for Chris. He says that prioritizing his sobriety is the most important component to having control over the rest of his life.
Christopher’s parting piece of guidance: “do what’s right for you. Your truth is your truth and there is going to be a lot of outside noise, but you probably know what is going on deep down better than you realize.”
Recovery Elevator
Go big, because eventually we’ll all go home.
I love you guys.
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Today we have Adam. He is 34 years old from Denver, CO and took his last drink on May 19th, 2022.
Sponsors for this episode include:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month
Café RE – the social app for sober people
[02:41] Thoughts from Paul:
Today Paul presents the second of a three-part series where he covers the healing one may expect in the first year away from alcohol. This week he covers the mental component of healing and what can generally be expected over the course of the first year away from alcohol.
In the beginning, don’t expect much but the brain fog will begin to lift by the end of the first week. Emotions will start to show up and you should embrace them. Seeing mood swings is completely normal but they will begin to improve over the next few months
Over the first year there are a lot of improvements to our awareness, our emotional regulation and our dopamine system.
Paul shares many more examples, but this is a short version of a longer list, and the mental healing goes on for years. Perhaps the biggest shift mentally is how you now feel about yourself now that you’ve made such a positive change by ditching the booze.
[11:45] Paul introduces Adam:
Adam was born and raised in Denver, CO. He and his fiancé are getting married in August this year. Adams works in the government affairs lobbying space in Colorado. For fun he loves skiing, hiking, reading and recovery work.
After his first drink at age 14, Adam knew he wanted to do more of it. He says he was a fearful kid and as he grew older his fears became more tangible, and he never felt prepared to deal with them. A lack of confidence and feelings of not adapting like others found him seeking comfort in alcohol and other drugs.
In the transition between high school and college, Adam shares that his substance use increased because it was more accessible. Stressed out while studying abroad in Rome found him developing a nightly drinking habit to cope.
Adam was in a cycle of binge drinking and drinking nightly after graduation and starting his career. He kept defending his drinking as he is just doing it for now and eventually, he will stop. Adam was keeping a bottle of vodka in his car and hiding how much he was drinking from his partner.
In 2021 after a weekend filled with drinking, Adam’s wife came home from errands to find him unresponsive. He ended up in the hospital with a BAC over .4. After a mini-intervention by his family, he said he just wouldn’t drink but wasn’t interested in asking for help. He was able to white-knuckle for 150 days, got divorced and then got a new job and apartment. He decided that it was long enough to quit drinking and went out with friends.
After several months of drinking again and then getting into trouble at work, Adam began to realize he wasn’t having fun anymore. Some friends that were in a 12-step program invited him to join them and he decided to say yes and hasn’t left yet.
Adam identifies with the word “alcoholic” and feels like it helps others view the word differently by seeing normal people using the word. Once starting the program, he dove into the work in addition to reading books and relating to other peoples stories. Realizing he needed help and that he couldn’t control his drinking was a weight lifted for Adam.
Adam is still working with a sponsor to continue to learn more about himself. Adam tries to find ways to integrate recovery into his day and be more present with his loved ones.
Adam shares he is no longer overwhelmed with fears since he has more tools to help him now.
Adam’s parting piece of guidance: keep trying, don’t give up on yourself and keep coming back.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down; you’ve got to take the stairs back up.
WE can do this.
I love you guys.
RE on Instagram
RE merch
Recovery Elevator YouTube
Sobriety Tracker iTunes
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Today we have Maggie. She is 42 years old, from Switzerland, and she took her last drink on February 24th, 2024.
Sponsors for this episode include:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month
Café RE – the social app for sober people
Registration for our annual alcohol-free retreat in Bozeman is now open. From August 6th through 10th, we will be spending lots of time in nature, doing breathwork, a lakeside hangout, laser tag and more.
In October of this year, we are going to Peru! There are still spots available for this 11-day 12-night journey throughout Cusco, Machu Picchu and the Sacred Valley.
[02:43] Thoughts from Paul:
A question Paul hears and sees frequently is what to expect when we put the bottle down. He shares that the destruction of alcohol happens in three steps. First the spiritual component, then mental and finally physical. Healing tends to happen in the reverse order. There will be overlap and the transition is not quite linear, nor does the healing ever stop.
Paul expands on what to expect when healing begins and how it can look for our bodies and minds in the first week, month, six months to a year.
[12:06] Paul introduces Maggie:
Maggie is from Switzerland but lives in Hong Kong with her husband Chris and their four dogs. They enjoy spending time on the beach, stand up paddling and triathlons. Professionally, Maggie was the head of IT in investment banking but has recently changed careers and now is an options equity trader.
Maggie says she had her first drink when she was 13 and instantly felt relief from her anxiety. During her teen years, she says she and her friends spent a lot of time going out to bars and she discovered clubbing and cocaine when she was 18.
Maggie did well in school and started working with hedge funds after graduating. She says the workdays ended at 4pm and everyone would go out to have drinks afterwards. Her drinking wasn’t concerning to her at this point in time.
Maggie moved to Hong Kong when she was 24 and this is when she began to realize that she didn’t have an off switch when it came to alcohol. Everyone else would be ready to go home and Maggie says she was just getting started.
From the age of 20 to around 30, Maggie says things got progressively worse. While everything looked successful and stable on the outside, inside she was falling apart. Maggie would compare herself with people that were worse off than her as a way to justify her drinking. Moderation entered the picture, and she would sign up for a lot of physical activities as a way to force herself to be sober.
Maggie moved to Singapore before COVID but then lost her job and was there for a year without her husband. That is when she went from binge drinking to daily drinking. Upon her return to Hong Kong, her husband told her she needed to go to AA.
After four years of stops and starts while trying to make AA work, Maggie knew she needed to try something different. Addicted to multiple substances, Maggie checked herself into rehab but relapsed as soon as she left. After her return to Hong Kong, Maggie tried another location where they used EMDR therapy which helped her find the root causes of her addiction issues.
Maggie was given Antabuse after leaving rehab and that has helped alcohol become a non-negotiable for her. In sobriety she learned that she couldn’t return to her old job. She has made a career change that allows her to work less hours and find a new hobby creating and selling her art.
Maggie feels peaceful now. Her goals are to continue to do sports and be a better athlete, continue to travel and maintain her current peaceful lifestyle.
Maggie’s parting piece of guidance: hang in there and you will eventually get there. Never give up and maybe also explore the root cause of what is causing the drinking in the first place.
Recovery Elevator
This isn’t a no to alcohol but a yes to a better life.
I love you guys.
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Today we have Kaylee. She’s 33 years old from Camp Hill, PA and took her last drink on December 24th, 2024.
Sponsors for this episode include:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month
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Registration for our annual alcohol-free retreat in Bozeman is now open. From August 6th through 10th, we will be spending lots of time in nature, doing breathwork, a lakeside hangout, laser tag and more.
[03:38] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul shares a comment that he heard recently in a Café RE chat.
Stephanie said she eventually called the fight with alcohol. It is another way to frame the moment where we surrender to what is when it comes to our drinking. We know moderation isn’t working, anxiety is getting worse and the shame and torture from alcohol is reaching unprecedented levels. It becomes time to throw in the towel.
He also shares a line from an upcoming interviewee who stated, “sobriety has given me the keys to the car of my dreams, I just hate the color”. So, the universe will always align with our hopes, our dreams, and desires, but we may want the package to look different.
It is all about accepting the journey that life places in front of you.
[07:08] Paul introduces Kaylee:
Kaylee is 33 and lives in Camp Hill, PA. She has two daughters aged 15 and six. She is still trying to figure out what she likes to do for fun, but enjoys movies, concerts and spending time with her daughters.
Kaylee says she was a sensitive kid. She struggled with depression and self-harm when she was very young and was always searching for a remedy her feelings. Kaylee drank experimentally by sporadically sneaking alcohol out of her mom’s cabinet.
When she was 15, she was assaulted and learned early on that using alcohol could help numb her pain. Kaylee says that any time her emotions were strong, she knew she could use alcohol to not think about the negative emotions and things that happened to her. Her usage became a regular thing on the weekends with friends while she was a teenager.
Kaylee had her first daughter when she was 17 and thought maybe she was done with the party life. She didn’t drink while pregnant but not long after her daughter was born, she was right back to drinking. Moving to her first apartment at age 21 also contributed to an increase in her drinking and now she felt free to drink however she wanted to, including by herself.
When Kaylee went right back to drinking after her second daughter, she knew she needed to try to cut back and moderate. She was taking online quizzes asking, “am I an alcoholic?” and considered AA meetings only to determine she was fine and could cut back on her own.
After a few years trying moderation, Kaylee found herself in a dark place with suicidal thoughts. She decided to seek therapy and was open with someone about her drinking for the first time. She was able to get sober for about six months.
In January 2024 after a breakup, Kaylee found herself drinking heavily again. After calling a suicide hotline looking for help, she ended up going to detox for a week. After detox she continued an outpatient program but again thought she could moderate. As Christmas approached, Kaylee was thinking that she could not continue drinking into another year. She began to talk to a good friend of hers who was extremely supportive.
The first few weeks were tough, but she started to get better physically. Within the first month she says her mind started coming back and she started feeling more like herself. Kaylee reconnected to her faith and became more open about her struggles which she says helps a lot.
Kaylee says the tools she uses the most in her recovery are journaling, talking to someone when she is having cravings or triggers, praying and meditation, and staying open with those close to her.
Recovery Elevator
Rule 22 – lighten up, let’s not take ourselves too seriously.
I love you guys.
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Today we have Jenny. She is 38 years old from Hudson, WI and she took her last drink on February 16, 2020.
Sponsors for this episode include:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month
Recovery Elevator has a nonprofit called Café RE which is our alcohol-free community. For all of our happenings and what we offer, click on Recovery Elevator Events.
[02:35] Thoughts from Paul:
It doesn’t really matter what word or label we attach to our relationship with alcohol. It doesn’t matter what we call it; we still need to do something about it. Paul says that his own pursuits of solving the “why” behind his drinking and how his addiction took hold has been a revealing journey of self-discovery even he won’t be able to pin down exactly why he crashed and burned so hard.
When we relentlessly scour the past for reasons why we drink, we take our energies away from the only moment where true healing and peace reside, which is this very moment right now.
Addiction does everything it can to pull us from the present moment. Ruminating on what happened, what you have tends to be fruitless. Befriend and make peace the part of you that seeks oblivion and self-destruction. An addiction path may be what our souls choose in hopes of teaching us what really matters in life.
[09:03] Paul introduces Jenny:
Jenny is a previous guest and was featured in Episode 417 back in 2023 after celebrating three years alcohol-free.
Jenny is married and they have a seven-year-old son. She enjoys exercise, adventure and being outside. She does professional development for the construction industry.
Jenny drinking when she was 11 years old with the goal of being a rebel. She says she had a goal of being a tough, naughty girl and says it let her down the road to 22 years of binging and going on benders with alcohol and drugs.
In her late twenties, Jenny had a miscarriage and says that it was at that point that she knew she had a problem, and she didn’t think she’d be able to stop. She and her husband had their son in 2017 and decided a life change was needed so they moved back home after living out west for a while. She was 31 years old, unemployed, had a newborn son and was deeply in debt. The move to her in-law’s basement and being back in her hometown opening old wounds drove Jenny to use alcohol more and more to escape.
Rock bottom came for Jenny after Super Bowl Sunday 202. She got very sick while driving and called out of work. For the next few days, she was hungover and thinking about ways to end things. A spiritual awakening and vision of an uncle that had passed away before she was born, led Jenny to get up and decide enough was enough.
Jenny says the first week was hard like ripping a bandage off and bleed profusely. All aspects of her life needed to be explored. She wanted to live a life of integrity and knew she needed to do the right things for herself. She feels like every day is a victory for all of us on the journey.
After a year without alcohol, her husband encouraged her to find connection and she tried AA. That group helped her define her higher power and she loves AA and the 12 steps. She finds that friendships in recovery are so much deeper.
In the last few years since she was on the podcast, Jenny says not much has changed but life is more stable now. When she quit drinking, she was able to address other issues that she wasn’t aware she had. She is capable of just being and seeking peace in her life.
Jenny knows that relapse is a non-negotiable for her. She says she hasn’t come this far to only come this far. Being able to tell the whole story about things that happen is important to her.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down. You got to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
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Today we have Laura. She is 40 years old from Reno, NV and she had her last drink on August 1st, 2017.
Sponsors for this episode include:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month
Tomorrow April 1st, registration opens for our annual alcohol-free retreat in Bozeman. From August 6th through 10th, we will be spending lots of time in nature, doing breathwork, a lakeside hangout, laser tag and more.
[02:58] Thoughts from Paul:
On this life journey, what we think is fun or important to us is constantly changing. You have identified that serenity, happiness and peace have become much more important to you than the excitement of drinking. After all, drinking lifts us up for a short while but always lets us down in the end.
Peace is knowing we are living our healthiest life and knowing that whatever happens, we’re going to be just fine because we’re not making life harder than it needs to be by drinking.
We are aiming to place our bodies and minds in a state where they are properly nourished so then we can be present to fully enjoy and be thankful when the emotion of happiness arrives. We are choosing peace over the brevity of a buzz. We are choosing life.
[05:51] Paul introduces Laura:
Laura is married, and lives in Reno, Nevada. She is currently transitioning out of working in nonprofit communications to going full time with her own business. She enjoys all things outdoors, lifting weights, and making funny Tik-Toks.
The minute Laura started drinking she felt like it was the elixir to confidence and connection. Throughout college and into her 20s, she didn’t think much about her drinking because she was drinking like everyone else around her. Leaving college, Laura didn’t really know what she wanted to do with her life. Looking back now, she recognizes how much drinking disconnects you from yourself.
Laura moved to Lake Tahoe and became a snowboard bum. This is where her drinking progressed. Little red flags started to pop up, but she would disregard them and treat her drinking like it was an intentional choice.
In her late twenties, Laura got a DUI. This drove her to recognize that she needed to quit drinking and was able to for a few months. She thought after that, she had it under control only to end up right back where she was soon after.
Laura began to try and moderate and take breaks. When she realized it was hard to quit for two weeks, she knew she had a problem. After a blackout, Laura decided it was time to give sobriety a try. Quitting drinking felt scary, but it felt scarier to continue down the path she was on. She didn’t know anyone that was sober but once she listened to people’s stories on the RE podcast, she had hope.
After 7 months of working on her recovery by herself, she relapsed at a memorial for a friend. Recognizing that she was on the right path in sobriety, she went right back to it. She started going to AA and found a sponsor. Laura admits it was a lot of work, but she was ready for it. She shares that she had a lot of epiphanies during the first six to nine months.
Laura picked up a lot of healthy practices in recovery which helped her rediscover herself and build confidence. She says no tequila shot could ever compare to the feeling of being able to trust yourself, respect yourself and have authentic connections with other people.
In her new business, Laura is a backpacking guide. She organizes adventure retreats for sober women. Your Sober Pal
Laura’s favorite resources: Recovery Elevator podcast, 12 Step Program and online recovery communities.
Laura’s parting piece of guidance: it might e a lot of work up front, but it’s going to take you places you couldn’t even imaging and you’re going to amaze yourself along the way.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down. You have got to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
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Today we have Niko. He is 43 years old from San Juan, Puerto Rico and took his last drink on September 2nd, 2024.
Sponsors for this episode include:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month
Café RE
Next week registration opens for our flagship retreat in Bozeman which is always a lot of fun. In addition to our lake hangout, breathwork and recovery workshops, we’re also playing laser tag. We also have a few spots left for our alcohol-free trip this October to Peru which includes travel to Cusco, the Sacred Valley and of course, Machu Picchu.
If you have quit drinking and are looking for new alcohol-free friends, Café RE is the social app for sober people. With 24/7 access to a like-minded community committed to living alcohol-free, you’ll never feel alone on this journey.
[03:25] Thoughts from Paul:
Jackass alumni Stevo-O once said he didn’t experience alcoholism until he quit drinking. In 1958 alcoholism was first classified as a disease. How does one experience this disease after they stop drinking?
Paul shares his thinking that “if you want to find out why you drink, quit drinking and you’ll find out pretty quickly”. And another thought “it’s not an alcohol problem; it’s a sobriety problem”. When you are addicted to alcohol, withdrawals are a huge problem. But another issues presents itself when we are sober and no longer using alcohol to cope or cheat code for dopamine. Our eyes are wide open to the movie of our lives and there is no way to shut it off.
This is why people in recovery attend social circles where people can talk about the baseline state of the human mind, which is restless, irritable and discontent. When we come together, we have a better chance to heal.
[07:25] Paul introduces Niko:
Niko lives in San Juan, Puerto Rico and is the youngest of three siblings. He enjoys beach tennis, swimming and volleyball, which was something he played a lot in school.
Niko first tried alcohol when he was around 12. By age 14, he had his first blackout. For years Niko never questioned his drinking because he figured if he could tolerate it and wasn’t doing stupid or embarrassing things, he was fine.
Niko was recruited to play volleyball in a college in Pennsylvania. His drinking interfered with his grades, but he never questioned his drinking until recently. Drinking is very embedded in his culture and says it isn’t abnormal for teenagers to be drinking at the table with adults.
In his 30s, Niko says he added cocaine to his drinking, and this continued until last year. Niko knew he had an issue with it, but it wasn’t until his girlfriend presented an ultimatum that it was the drugs or her. He was able to quit cocaine and started therapy where he proclaimed he still had to be able to drink. After a few weeks, he talked with a friend that had recently quit drinking who encouraged him to give it a try.
The first week without alcohol was pretty tough for Niko but he says things turned around in the second week as he entered the pink cloud and started thinking he should keep going.
Niko has dabbled in AA and SMART Recovery. He sees his therapist once a week and also attends group therapy with up to 8 other people. Without alcohol Niko is getting to know himself again and his therapist helps a lot with that. She introduced him to the RE podcast which he says he has listened to a lot while going to the gym and walking the dog. He has lost 45 pounds since quitting drinking and is starting to do more of the sports he loved when he was younger. Since he has been getting to know himself, he is finding the ability to be more present for others as well.
Niko’s parting piece of guidance: if you think you have a problem or maybe you don’t think you have a problem, just give yourself a try. You won’t regret it.
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You took the elevator down, but you gotta take the stairs back up.
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Today we have Alyssa. She is 30 years old from Vancouver, WA and took her last drink on September 5th, 2024.
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Next Monday, our five-week course called Ditching the Booze. This is our alcohol-free 101 crash course and is included with Café RE membership. All sessions are live and you’re tuning in with others who are in the same spot as you. The sessions are also recorded in case you can’t attend.
On Tuesday, April 1st, registration opens for our flagship retreat in Bozeman which is always a lot of fun. In addition to our lake hangout, breathwork and recovery workshops, we’re also playing laser tag.
[03:20] Thoughts from Paul:
Today Paul talks about why alcohol can be so hard to quit, why the process of quitting can take years and can contain many stops and starts.
Addiction guru Gabor Mate says, “addictions are always a human response to pain, suffering and trauma”. We are constantly in search of homeostasis. When we find something effective at helping us find this relief, it becomes our first technique to use when we are in pain. After drinking long enough, you’ll get to the point where you only feel good, or dopamine will only be created when we are drinking.
It takes time after quitting drinking for our body to naturally create dopamine on its own. You will need to learn new routines, create new habits and figure out a way to fill the time that used to be spent drinking. Paul shares with us several other reasons quitting drinking is hard.
Why do you think quitting drinking is so hard?
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[09:02] Paul introduces Alyssa:
Alyssa lives in Vancouver, WA with her fiancé and two Rotskis. She currently works as a server and in her free time she enjoys reading and traveling with her fiancé. They are currently trying to determine where they are going to move to be closer to family.
Alyssa says she had an early introduction to alcohol but never really considered it an issue until she met her fiancé who doesn’t drink. For years, everyone around her drank so she didn’t notice her own drinking.
Alyssa’s drinking increased slowly but became daily during the pandemic. In 2021 she read Easy Way to Quit Drinking by Allen Carr and was able to stop for a few months.
For Alyssa, her drinking began to create an inner turmoil, and it started to erode her confidence because she was making promises to herself and then breaking them by drinking instead of accomplishing her goals. After quitting for a period of time, Alyssa thought that she would be able to moderate. In time, she says, she was right back where she was.
After moving in with her father while they save up to find their own place, Alyssa says the lack of goals and uncertainty of the future found her drinking more to cope. She was no longer active and was losing self-esteem while anxiety and depression took hold. At the bottom of her heart, Alyssa knew that eliminating alcohol would help fix the way she was feeling.
Alyssa chose a quit date and started seeking sober podcasts and books to prepare, including This Naked Mind. It was after a night out with friends that Alyssa told her fiancé that she didn’t want to drink anymore. He was very supportive of her decision and offered to help however he could.
Alyssa continued to read This Naked Mind and participated in a 30-day sober challenge. This paired with the liberation she felt from her decision led to a pink cloud experience for Alyssa. Anxiety and depression started to lift quickly. Going forward, she is trying to figure out what she wants to do in the future, and she believes in sobriety the options are endless.
Alyssa’s parting piece of guidance: Just listen to that little voice. Give sobriety as many chances as you gave alcohol.
Recovery Elevator
Rule 22: lighten up - let’s do our best not to take ourselves too seriously.
I love you guys.
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Today we have Lisa. She is from Brisbane, Australia and took her last drink on February 24th, 2022.
Sponsors for this episode include:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month
If you have quit drinking and are looking for new alcohol-free friends, Café RE is the social app for sober people. With 24/7 access to a like-minded community committed to living alcohol-free, you’ll never feel alone on this journey.
[02:35] Thoughts from Paul:
Healing from alcohol addiction is more about restoring the original circuitry we arrived on the planet with, opposed to learning anything new. You already have everything you need to quit drinking. There is nothing wrong with you, we simply need to remove the layers of muck, grime, false stories and incorrect paradigms that we have accumulated over the years of living in a toxic culture.
As you clean up your inner mess, you’re also laying the foundation for others to begin their healing process. When you heal, others around you heal.
[07:27] Paul introduces Lisa:
Lisa is 45 years old and lives in Brisbane, Australia. She runs a residential rehab for women. For fun, Lisa enjoys CrossFit and the community that comes with it. She has a 21-year-old son.
Lisa first tried alcohol when she was 17. It was an issue from the first time she picked it up. Once she got the feeling in her system, she just kept going. This continued until she was pregnant with her son who was born when she was 24 years old.
When her son was 13 months old, Lisa became a single mom and wanted to find herself again as he started to get older. With her mom helping her with her son, she was able to start going out to meet people and says the only way she knew how to do that was with alcohol involved. Lisa says she thought to be sociable, you had to drink.
There were times when Lisa was able to abstain for extended periods while focusing on her son and fitness, but she always went back to it. She found herself using drinks as a reward to get through the weekdays and then would binge drink on the weekends. This cost her multiple jobs in the fitness and nutrition world. Lisa found herself blaming everything but herself or her drinking.
Lisa had been working on getting sober for quite a while but had always been trying to do it for other people or jobs. A few years before her sobriety date, she had a revelation that she had to quit drinking for herself. She was able to go 500 days from that point and says she wasn’t doing the work suggested to her and ended up drinking again.
At this point she was adding other substances to her drinking. A weekend camping trip in November 2021 ended badly for Lisa and after her partner picked her up, she shared that she didn’t want to live anymore. The fact that she felt that way scared her.
When her son questioned her about going to rehab, Lisa told her she couldn’t because she had so many other obligations. The drinking continued and she would start going to lengths to try and conceal it. After a weekend away with her son, she found herself on a balcony consumed with suicidal thoughts. It was then that she called a rehab to try and get help. Within a few days, she travelled 8 hours south to start rehab.
Lisa says her connection to herself is now authentic. She no longer looks to others or external things to make her happy. Lisa feels free and can now be grateful for her addiction because of where it has led her. She knows she has to put herself and her recovery first which was hard in the beginning. And now after three years, she still makes sure to attend meetings and do what needs to be done to stay sober every day.
Lisa’s parting piece of guidance: just put it down one day at a time. And if it takes one minute at a time, one hour at a time, whatever it is that you need to do to get off the booze, there is a better life out there for you.
Recovery Elevator
Go big because eventually we’ll all go home.
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Today we have Charlie. She is 32 years old from London, UK. She took her last drink on December 28th, 2024.
Sponsors for this episode include:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month
In October of this year, we are going to Peru! There are still spots available for this 11-day 12-night journey throughout Cusco, Machu Picchu and the Sacred Valley. Registration closes June 2nd which is the deadline for Inca trail tickets.
[02:50] Thoughts from Paul:
According to NCS solutions, who poll people about their drinking, the number of people who want to cut back on their drinking increases every year.
In 2025, 36% more people participated in Dry January than in 2024. A good reason why the numbers are increasing is reflected in a poem Paul shares called Memories of Alcohol by an unknown author.
So much of the work we do is reframing how we view alcohol. Subconsciously it is still deeply ingrained in our culture that drinking enhances our lives, but we have all learned that it doesn’t. Once the voice in our head starts telling us that a drink would be nice or we deserve a drink we can start giving it some tough love and tell it that no, a drink would not be nice and please give me some better ideas.
[05:09] Paul introduces Charlie:
Charlie is a software engineer from London and will be getting married in April. For fun, Charlie has rediscovered that she enjoys skiing, running and swimming.
Growing up, Charlie witnessed both parents struggle with divorce and use of alcohol and medications. She started drinking when she was around 14. Charlie says everyone around her drank and seemed to be having a good time, so she joined in without thinking twice.
Around her mid-twenties, Charlie started to have a subtle undercurrent of doubt in her mind and a quiet voice suggesting that maybe she wasn’t the best version of herself anymore. Since she never had what others would consider a problem, she didn’t think her drinking was an issue.
Charlie began to find things weren’t going wrong for her, but they weren’t necessarily going right either. She felt stagnated. In an effort to try and make changes to this she removed alcohol from time to time and began to connect the dots between her stagnation and the alcohol use.
Charlies says she tried moderation, but it was exhausting. Her all-or-nothing mentality made it difficult. She also shares that she has had multiple stints of around 100 days without alcohol because she learned that was a good amount of time to feel many of the positive effects of quitting.
This time feels different for Charlie because she has leaned into the sobriety community a bit more. She has been listening to podcasts and reading books and learned that the key to maintaining sobriety is to find community. Since there are more people around her encouraging her and sharing insights, Charlie feels this time is indefinite as opposed to the other times when she had a finish line of sorts.
Charlies says since quitting drinking her positivity has returned and she is feeling like the younger version of herself now. She shares that it’s amazing how much you can fit into a day when half of it isn’t taken up by drinking or recovering from it.
Charlie’s parting piece of guidance: if you’ve never quit drinking before, what’s that worst that can happen?
Recovery Elevator
It all starts from the inside out.
I love you guys.
We can do this.
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Today we have Robbie. He is 43 and lives in Moses Lake, WA. He took his last drink on August 15th, 2024
Sponsors for this episode include:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month
3,649 days ago, or 1 day shy of ten years, the first episode of the Recovery Elevator podcast dropped. Paul remembers the date well because for three months after the first episode released, he kept thinking “oh my God, what have I done?”. Burning the ships in podcast format gave Paul a lot of anxiety, but here we are, 523 weeks later and thank you listeners, for keeping the show alive.
30 Best Sobriety Podcasts
[04:13] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul shares the definition and his thoughts around the term gray area drinking. The definition states that it is the space between end-stage drinking and every now and again drinking. Gray area drinking could also be classified as someone who can stop drinking without medical detox or can stop on their own before someone stages an intervention.
Paul believes it’s all gray area drinking. Be it one beer a month or 10 beers a night. One common thread he hears on this podcast is “and then xyz happened”. It’s these major life events that can ramp up the drinking and everyone has life happen to them.
[07:10] Paul introduces Robbie:
Robbie is 43 years old and lives in Moses Lake, WA. He currently works at a chemical plant in the semiconductor industry. He has five children in the age range of eight months to 14. They enjoy spending time outdoors and at the lake near their home. Robbie is a big sports fan and played sports often while growing up.
Robbie took his first drink when he was in college in his 20s. He didn’t drink much until he lost his dad in 2013. Without knowing how to process his grief and having young children, Robbie learned that drinking helped him be numb and he started drinking four or five days a week. At the time, Robbie was working as a corrections officer, which was a very stressful job that contributed to his drinking as well.
In 2018 Robbie’s marriage ended. This was the first time he had been away from his children. He moved two hours away from them to stay at his mom’s house. After his second DUI in two weeks, the judge imposed alcohol monitoring for Robbie. This helped him stay sober for a year but only because he had to be.
Thinking he could now moderate, Robbie started drinking soon after no longer having the monitoring device. He says he wasn’t having a good time, and he was just using it to numb out from multiple traumas.
In February 2024 Robbie reached a breaking point and reach out to his brother-in-law who helped him find a treatment center in Utah. Robbie was there for 35 days and felt like he had made a lot of progress. He learned a lot about himself and started doing counseling. Robbie finally got some help dealing with some big traumas throughout his life. He says he feels like he used alcohol to punish himself thinking he deserved to be miserable.
After a brief relapse, Robbie says he woke up on August 15th and just knew it was over, and he had to stop drinking for good. He decided to try naltrexone which he first learned about in rehab. He took it for the first month and says he still has no desire to drink. Robbie goes to AA meetings, listens to podcasts and audiobooks, and is a member of Café RE. Robbie stays accountable with his family and friends at work. People have noticed a positive change in him.
In the past Robbie quit drinking because he was forced to, or for other people. He said on August 15th; he was doing it for himself. He says sobriety is the greatest gift to himself and his kids.
Robbie’s parting piece of guidance: If you’re asking yourself if you drink too much or if it’s becoming a problem, it already is. Listen to your gut. Believe in yourself that you can quit.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
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Today we have Jeremy. He is 43 years old and lives in Portland, Maine. He took his last drink on January 23rd, 2019.
Sponsors for this episode include:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month
Recovery Elevator is going back to Peru in October 2025. On this 10-night, 11-day trip of a lifetime, we will be hiking the Inca Trail and participating in two service projects. Registration has been open for two weeks and we have about five or six spots left.
[01:40] Thoughts from Paul:
About three weeks ago, we had a gentleman named Nate share his story for one of our dry January sessions. He mentioned that just before he quit drinking, his spouse poured out a bottle of Jameson Irish whiskey onto their lawn. The whiskey killed a circular patch of grass, making it an area where conditions were no longer suitable for growth, and Nate eventually had to replace the entire section of grass.
Today's episode is titled "Would a Drink Help?". This phrase is often depicted in movies, TV, and other media after a long day or stressful event. For those of us who find it difficult to have just one, a drink will never help. It’s not the fifth or the 10th drink that gets you into trouble, it’s always the first. Because it leads you to have the fifth or 10th drink which will leave a dead ring of grass inside us.
Unlike grass, our brains and bodies can heal from the poison. So, in answer to the question of “would a drink help?” the answer is always no, and it will always leave you in a worse position. We wouldn’t ask this question about any other substance either.
It takes time before the neurons in the brain that a drink can help stop firing together so go easy on yourself.
[07:11] Paul introduces Jeremy:
Jeremy is 43, married with no kids and works in tech consulting. They have an English bulldog and for fun, Jeremy enjoys snowboarding, hiking, and music. He is also a house music DJ and plays multiple instruments.
Jeremy first began to recognize that his drinking was an issue for him in his twenties. He began drinking in his teens and used alcohol to help him escape feelings around an assault that happened when he was 15. Since Jeremy didn’t participate in team sports in school, he spent time with people that did other things like drink and do drugs.
After taking a six-month break from drinking when he was 22, Jeremy thought he was fine since he was able to quit for a period of time. He moved to Boston, made some friends there and began grad school. He shares that his drinking didn’t look out of control but as he approached his 30s, he realized that his friends were starting to slow down, have families and he was still wanting to spend time in bars. Over time his drinking was creating issues with his wife, and he was starting to feel unhappy both when he was drinking and when he was not. Things looked ok on the outside, but inside they were breaking down. The blackouts were becoming a major issue for him, and he couldn’t see a way out.
In 2018, Jeremy and his wife had a fight and that’s when he broke down and told her he was struggling. He started reading books about quitting but was still struggling after a few weeks. A note from his wife was a catalyst to seek help from therapy and he discovered SMART Recovery. He kept going back and made connections with others in the meetings.
Jeremy shares how there are so many ways to get sober now and that you don’t have to hit rock bottom to quit drinking. He says you have to get over the fear and just focus on the day in front of you. Since quitting drinking Jeremy says he has learned that he doesn’t need alcohol to feel comfortable anymore. He is comfortable with who he is now and with therapy has helped learn to love himself and forgive himself for the past.
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up.
We can do this.
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Today we have Dave. He is 69 years old from Beaver Creek, CO. He took his last drink in September 17th, 2024.
Sponsors for this episode include:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month
Sober Link - receive $50 off of a device
If you have quit drinking and are looking for new alcohol-free friends, Café RE is the social app for sober people. Come join the party!
Tonight begins our first ever AF Songwriting Course starting at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills.
[02:40] Thoughts from Paul:
Paul shares an article from the San Francisco Chronicle regarding the tanking sales of red wine in San Francisco restaurants. All alcohol sales were down but mocktail sales were up.
Many people share that it’s tough to quit drinking where they live. Paul discovered a statistic from the CDC that says where he lives in Gallatin County, Montana is listed as the drunkest of all 3,244 counties in America.
In the state of Montana, they place a white cross on the road where traffic fatalities occur in hopes of reminding drivers to take caution and slow down. 66% of these white crosses are alcohol related.
There is no judgement towards those that are still binge drinking. At Recovery Elevator, we are not better than anyone, we have just chosen a different path. If you feel called to walk this pathway with us, we’d love to have you.
[10:01] Paul introduces Dave:
Dave lives in Beaver Creek, CO with his dog Tango. He is very active in the AA community in his area and cherishes the connections he has made there. He enjoys skiing, biking, and traveling. He has three kids and recently became a grandfather. Dave is currently seeking his master’s degree in clinical counseling.
Alcohol was present in Dave’s life growing up as his parents drank socially. He drank socially as well throughout high school and college. He drinking didn’t become problematic until later. Dave shares that his alcohol use disorder stemmed from his chronic childhood emotional trauma. Alcohol later became the solution to dealing with unwanted emotions.
In 2016 after raising his kids independently and a relationship had ended, Dave started to use drinking to deal with some voids in his life. He had a successful commercial real estate business but didn’t have many local friends at the time.
Dave went to rehab in 2017 after having two DUIs in December of 2016. He was able to stay sober until 2021 and says again it was emotional overwhelm that sparked more field research. He found help in a psychologist who was a clinical director of a rehab facility. He was able to get sober again in July of 2021.
A reunion in September of 2024 found Dave having beers with friends thinking he would just have a few and would be fine. Dave had more the next day and realized that if he didn’t clear the rest of the alcohol out at the end of the day, he would continue to drink. Dave credits his tools and connection in AA to being able to get sober once again.
Dave is huge on connection. Both connections with people and connections with a higher power. He enjoys going to meetings and being of service to others in the community. Dave says one of the greatest gifts of sobriety for him is giving up control of outcomes. He chooses to deal with emotional overwhelm is awareness and since he no longer has alcohol in his system it is easier for him to be aware of what is happening. Dave is a big believer in journaling because of the connection from the hand to the head. When he puts his feelings on paper, he can see rational versus irrational thoughts.
Dave’s parting piece of guidance: stay with your feelings, journal about them.
Dave is looking for internship that involves 200 hours of direct engagement of one-on-one counseling with or without supervision. If you can help, reach out to [email protected].
Recovery Elevator
You took the elevator down; you got to take the stairs back up.
You can do this.
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Today we have Kathy. She is 57 years old from Phoenix, AZ. She took her last drink on October 21st, 2024.
Sponsors for this episode include:
Better Help – 10% off of your first month
Registration for one of our best international sober travel itineraries opens today, as we are going back to Peru October 4th – 15th, 2025. We are starting off in Cusco, then head into the sacred valley, and of course we’re doing the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu.
Next Monday our first ever AF Songwriting Course starts at 8pm EST. Connect with other sober musicians and improve your own song writing skills.
[02:43] Thoughts from Paul:
At the end of last week's episode, I discussed how certain chapters in our lives might be closing, particularly those involving drinking and all the associated antics. As Yung Pueblo poetically expressed, endings are a natural part of life. The universe thrives on cycles, where every beginning anticipates an eventual end. Embrace this closure, grieve it, if necessary, write a farewell letter and consign it to the flames if it helps. But remember, alongside the end of the partying comes the end of hangovers, bloating, puffy eyes, heartburn, and a myriad of other unpleasant side effects.
Let yourself mourn the end of this chapter. For me, the cessation of drinking heralded a new beginning in September 2014. Let's explore what awaits after setting the bottle aside—a life free from elevated liver enzymes.
Five months ago, I asked our Instagram followers to describe sobriety in three words. The prevailing themes were peace, energy, and presence. I can't predict your future, but I can assure you that whatever it holds, you'll face it with more vitality, tranquility, and mindfulness. This journey is far from solitary, as more Americans are reducing their alcohol intake.
So, as one party ends, another begins, brimming with the promise of a healthier, more vibrant life.
[06:09] Paul introduces Kathy:
Kathy is 57 years old, is divorced and lives in Phoenix, AZ with her husky mix named Mario. She works in big data analytics. For fun, Kathy enjoys walking her dog, hiking, riding a mountain bike, kayak and read. She enjoys memoirs, thrillers and enjoys Quit Lit.
Kathy says her drinking was in the moderate category for many years. In her forties she became part of a friend group that enjoyed drinking and spending time on the lake together. Kathy was comfortable letting her hair down and didn’t have any fears of becoming an alcoholic.
Kathy did begin to question her drinking after it started noticeably affecting her sleep and how she felt the next day. She explored some Quit Lit and since her drinking didn’t look like the author’s, Kathy decided it wasn’t bad enough to stop completely but would try to cut back a bit and skip days here and there.
When Kathy was diagnosed with early-stage breast cancer, the doctors put her on pills she couldn’t drink with. It was a relief to her to have to stop, but was surprised how little support others would have for her not drinking. After her oncologist told her she could drink a little, she started drinking again. A constant cycle of ramping up and ramping down began.
After some issues with her white blood count, Kathy had to quit for three weeks awaiting a blood test. She decided to join Café RE for support to quit drinking. Kathy really identifies with gray area drinking and has found stories from other people helpful in continuing her pursuit of quitting drinking. She prefers her life without alcohol and hopes to continue. She says her sleep has improved and she looks forward to lifting weight again, traveling and being cancer-free.
Kathy’s parting piece of guidance: if you’re questioning it, just start talking to sober people, join Café RE, seek out more podcasts, whatever.
Recovery Elevator
Alcohol is shit and we both know it.
I love you guys.
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