Episodes
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Even though Ern is objectively more interesting than Stan, there's much more information about Stan than Ern. It's a shame.
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Theme song written and performed by Cherish Varlack
Thank you so much for listening, see you next week! -
Join Emily and Maren as we unfortunately get to know this character a little better. She truly sucks.
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Theme song written and performed by Cherish Varlack
Thank you so much for listening, see you next week! -
Missing episodes?
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Harry's had a wonderful life of leisure here at Diagon Alley, but it's almost time for school to start up again, so finally he is reunited with his best friends! They get some rat tonic for Scabbers, and Hermione finds her soul cat. Harry overhears some terrible news, but worst of all, the Hogsmeade permission form still hasn't been signed.
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Theme song written and performed by Cherish Varlack
Thank you so much for listening, see you next week! -
Harry has once and for all left the Dursleys never to return again. He has a pretty good plan, but then he sees something huge staring at him, and things go haywire. Join us for a wild ride on the weirdest bus ever, as we follow Harry to London where he may or may not be sent straight to Azkaban Prison.
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Theme song written and performed by Cherish Varlack
Thank you so much for listening, see you next week! -
These people simply will not let up. They have invited Harry's worst aunt to their house for the entire week of his birthday, and while Harry has made a valiant effort to hold everything together, even the strongest 13 year old can be pushed to their absolute limit. No aunt is safe.
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Theme song written and performed by Cherish Varlack
Thank you so much for listening, see you next week! -
Happy thirteenth birthday to our favorite chosen one-Harry Potter! And as it turns out, the first hour of Harry's birthday is actually pretty sweet. His presents show up just in time for him to go to bed, and even though he still lives with the muggles, at least he has Hogwarts to look forward to.
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Theme song written and performed by Cherish Varlack
Thank you so much for listening, see you next week -
Join Emily and Maren as we recap Chamber! It's been quite a year at Hogwarts, and things are only getting worse!
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Theme song written and performed by Cherish Varlack
Thank you so much for listening, see you next week!
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Meanwhile, back in McGonagall's office, the adults have all just been patiently waiting for the children to return from the chamber and spend the next hour telling them what happened down there. Harry tricks Lucius Malfoy into freeing Dobby, the petrified kids have been un-petrified, and we have the biggest party of our lives about all of it.
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Theme song written and performed by Cherish Varlack
Thank you so much for listening, see you next week! -
Harry has entered the chamber, only to be faced with the absolute worst day of his life so far. Ginny is there in a heap on the floor, Tom Riddle is just hanging around, and there is a statue of Salazar Slytherin that defies description.
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Theme song written and performed by Cherish Varlack
Thank you so much for listening, see you next week! -
What happens when you leave a bunch of kids in a castle where something keeps attacking them and there isn't any clear answer or any strong leadership? Someone gets taken into an ancient chamber where a monster lives. That's what.
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Theme song written and performed by Cherish Varlack
Thank you so much for listening, see you next week! -
The second that Harry sees some spiders, the boys put a very bad plan into place. Let me just tell you, there's a reason the forest is forbidden.
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Theme song written and performed by Cherish Varlack
Thank you so much for listening, see you next week! -
Meanwhile back at Hogwarts, it's been a while since there have been any attacks, and you know what that means, we have an attack this chapter! Join us this week as we welcome spring to the castle, and unfortunately say goodbye to two people we could really use right about now. Thanks for listening!
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Theme song written and performed by Cherish Varlack
Thank you so much for listening, see you next week! -
Honestly if you've been on the fence about listening to this podcast, THIS is the episode that will convince you to binge the entire series. Emily and Maren do a deep dive on all things Basilisk, including but not limited to: how exactly is a basilisk created? What exactly is a plume? Which things are extant and which are extinct? Whale penis? Can Maren fire herself from the podcast? And so much more. Thanks for listening, and thank you to the patrons who joined us in the live chat!
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Thank you so much for listening, see you next week! -
Let's talk about Seamus Finnigan, the Slytheriniest Gryffindor we know.
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Thank you so much for listening, see you next week! -
Emily and Maren found their new best friend in this episode. Dean Thomas forever.
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Thank you so much for listening, see you next week! -
Join Emily and Maren as we learn about the past and present of Aragog the Acramantula
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Thank you so much for listening, see you next week! -
Bad but beautiful. Emily and Maren discuss the many, many things that we find distasteful about Lucius Malfoy.
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Thank you so much for listening, see you next week! -
Emily and Maren learn all about the Minister for Magic, Cornelius Fudge.
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Thank you so much for listening, see you next week! -
In episode two of learning about Armondo Dippett, we delve deeper into his life as the Headmaster of Hogwarts.
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Thank you so much for listening, see you next week! -
Come along with Emily and Maren as we learn about this undervalued and underappreciated character!
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Thank you so much for listening, see you next week! - Show more
