Episodes
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This series began with a conversation with my client, Jennifer Bartkowski, and we’re concluding the same way.
Jennifer is the ‘very proud’ CEO of Girl Scouts of Northeast Texas. In Fall of 2022 we launched a multi-month, cohort- and practice-based leadership program: Reimagine Girl Scouts Leadership Academy. We’ve tracked the journey and interviewed subject matter experts in key content areas that we covered.
Today we talk about the final results of the program and a few lessons learned.
Here are a few highlights:
The general structure of the program, including primary topic areasWe share actual survey results in key areas as well as observations and impact they have seen on the team and organization as a whole. There were plenty of unplanned and unexpected positive results for the organization and individual participants during the program, and after.Jennifer provides her insights on how she’s seen her staff transform and what’s been happening on the inside since the program’s inception.We name some key structures we had in place that contributed to the smooth running of the programThe importance of a mutually respectful relationship between client and consultantThe impetus of the program was to develop the skills and attributes needed to accomplish the GSNETX mission and that seems to be happening!We’re launching another program with a few adjustments based on what we learnedIf you’d like to get the details discussed in this episode, including what worked and what we learned, and to see key survey results, visit: https://bit.ly/45R34Uk
To discuss executive coaching, leadership development program design, and workshop facilitation, please visit: https://rise-leaders.com/contact-info/
To subscribe to Rise Words newsletter, visit: https://mailchi.mp/426e78bc9538/subscribe
Learn more about Rise Leaders at www.rise-leaders.com
Connect with LeeAnn Mallory on Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leeannmallory/
Follow Rise Leaders on our YouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/47Wk8do
Connect with Jennifer Bartkowsk on Linked Ini: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenniferbartkowski/
Girl Scouts of Northeast Texas: https://www.gsnetx.org/
Also mentioned in this episode:
Rhonda Williams, Phd: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rhondawilliams14/
Moira Variames: https://www.linkedin.com/in/moira-variames-14228877/
George Floyd: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Floyd
Deloitte: https://www2.deloitte.com/
CoSpera: https://cosperoconsulting.com/
Yield Giving:
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We have constant demands on our attention, energy and time. If we don’t have strategies for staying focused on what is most important we will almost certainly lose the battle and succumb to distractions that leave us feeling depleted and frustrated.
My friend and colleague, Dr. Chris Johnson has literally written a book on how to stay present. And me? I created a worksheet with strategies to help you get and stay focused.
Here are a few highlights from our conversation:
To guide your energy, attention and time ask, Who is the person I want to be? What is the impact I want to make? Pausing allows us to determine where our attention is, or is notMulti-tasking is not actually possible for our human brainsWe discuss a few simple (but not easy!) tactics and meta practices for navigating these demandsAsk yourself, ‘Do I feel renewed? Do I feel regenerated?’ after time on Social MediaWe get distracted by what is easy rather than focus on what is importantThe importance of a ‘positive no’We stay reactive and busy as a way to avoid being alone with our thoughtsAdmit it: the list is too long and you won’t get it all done (Burkeman’s 4,000 weeks)There are common places where we leak energy: other’s expectations, over committing, worryingI’ve created a worksheet to help you navigate the demands on your energy, attention and time. I use it with all of my clients and you can find it here https://bit.ly/3EiEKz5
To discuss executive coaching, leadership development program design, and workshop facilitation, please visit: https://rise-leaders.com/contact-info/
To subscribe to Rise Words newsletter, visit: https://mailchi.mp/426e78bc9538/subscribe
Learn more about Rise Leaders at www.rise-leaders.com
Connect with LeeAnn Mallory on Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leeannmallory/
Follow Rise Leaders on our YouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/47Wk8do
Resources mentioned in this podcast:
To connect with and learn more about Dr. Johnson’s work visit:
Order The Leadership Pause: Sharpen Your Attention, Deepen Your Presence, and Navigate the Future http://bit.ly/44xC4IL
Listen to The Leadership Pause: Sharpen Your Attention, Deepen Your Presence, and Navigate the Future: https://bit.ly/45N5LWZ
Note: These links will support local booksellers
Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals; Oliver Burkeman: https://bit.ly/3EjN4Pe
Atomic Habits: Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results; James Clear: https://bit.ly/3R3XQR4
The Social Dilemma move: https://www.thesocialdilemma.com/
No Time to Think by Kate Murphy, NYTimes:
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Missing episodes?
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I’ve worked with a lot of organizations in my time as a coach and leadership consultant and the issue of trust is almost always at or near the center of concern. You’re never done building and nurturing trust. As one of my guests today quotes, “trust is the only thing that affects everything” (Stephen M.R. Covey). We gave it a great deal of air time in the Reimagine Leadership program.
Jerry Magar and Lori Darley join me in today’s discussion and we talk about:
Signs that trust may be missing in your organizationThere are defined behaviors that help build trustOne way to think about trust is a combination of competence and characterTrust-building can be tangible and pragmaticBreakdowns provide a great opportunity to create more trustWhat does it mean to have vulnerability-based trust?There are many models of trust and we cover two during this conversation. Check the links below for three (yes three!) earlier episodes I’ve recorded on trust.
To subscribe to Rise Words newsletter, visit: https://mailchi.mp/426e78bc9538/subscribe
Learn more about Rise Leaders at www.rise-leaders.com
Connect with LeeAnn Mallory on Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leeannmallory/
Follow Rise Leaders on our YouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/47Wk8d
Links from this episode
Lori Darley: https://www.consciousleaders.us/about
Conscious Leaders Wisdom Circle: https://consciousleaders.us/wisdom-circle
Jerry Magar: https://jerrymagar.com/about-jerry-magar/
JerryMagar.com: https://jerrymagar.com/
Rise Leaders Radio episode with Treg Manning: https://tinyurl.com/k3mwp3zh
Rise Leaders Radio episodes on the Trust Formula: 17 - solo episode explaining Trust model: https://tinyurl.com/5f2w93xr
#36 with Charles Green, Author of The Trusted Advisor: https://tinyurl.com/mry4urjv
#37 with Andrea Howe where we take a deeper dive into the Trust Equation https://tinyurl.com/mv94nakb
The Speed of Trust by Stephen M.R. Covey https://tinyurl.com/md3e5w7b
The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni https://tinyurl.com/ydbb9y7u
Note: Rise Leaders supports local retailers. Books are listed on Whose Books site on Bookshop.org.
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When I ask experts in the leadership field what the most important attribute for effective leadership today is, I get some version of adaptability or agility. In other words, what is most important is that we’re able to read a context and shift our approach to meet circumstances and challenges with new thinking and behaviors.
My guest today, Pam Boney, is so passionate about this that she created an assessment that displays our strengths and helps us know how and where we may need to shift to increase our effectiveness and feeling of fulfillment in life. The assessment is Tilt 365, and Pam is the company’s founder.
We used this assessment in the leadership program that this podcast series is centered around. The program began with each leader studying themselves because self-awareness is foundational for our ability to manage our emotions and thus take effective, sustainable action. It’s also vital to our ability to coordinate well with others. So we take the Tilt assessment at the beginning.
Because of the developmental nature of this assessment, each leader was able to define areas where they wanted to grow and then identify practices to help them get there.
Rather than using labels, Tilt 365 is clear about our ability to shift, or Tilt, to meet new situations and work best with others.
We take a walk around the Tilt model discussing:
The four quadrants of the model: Spirit/Resilience and Head/Wisdom on the vertical axis and Heart/Humanity and Gut/Courage on the horizontal axis.Aristotle’s Golden Mean: all ‘virtues’ lie in the middle way between two extreme states: excess and deficiency. This has been popularized as ‘any strength overused becomes a weakness’.Oftentimes our fear causes us to move into the extreme states.The four profiles that each combine two of the quadrants:Impact/Change Catalyst combines the quadrants Spirit/Resilience and Gut/CourageStructure/MasterMind combines the quadrants Head/Wisdom and Gut/CourageClarity/Quiet Genius combines the quadrants Head/Wisdom and Heart/HumanityConnection/Cross Pollinator combines the quadrants Spirit/Resilience and Heart/HumanityThe model goes deeper and deeper into personas which give further nuance to why a Tilt style will be animated differently by different peoplePam and her team have created offers for individuals and teams and ways to explore more fully how to better understand our strengths and how to develop towards agility.I really encourage you to explore the Tilt 365 website and all the offers. If you’re interested in taking the assessment, please contact me!
You can find out more by connecting with the following:
To discuss executive coaching, leadership development program design, and workshop facilitation, please visit: https://rise-leaders.com/contact-info/
To subscribe to Rise Words newsletter, visit: https://mailchi.mp/426e78bc9538/subscribe
Learn more about Rise Leaders at www.rise-leaders.com
Connect with LeeAnn Mallory on Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leeannmallory/
Follow Rise Leaders on our YouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/47Wk8do
To connect with Pam and Tilt 365, visit:
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As part of the Reimagine Leadership limited series, this is the first episode where we dig into content that we actually threaded throughout the program I developed for the Girl Scouts of Northeast Texas.
Jim Fallon is an Executive Coach for The Conscious Leadership Group and a Strategic Advisor for many organizations. He spent decades as an executive for many organizations across various industries, which I feel results in a very grounded pragmatism in his approach.
We talk about the book, The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, and specifically about the organizing principle of the book: leading above and below the line.
Here are a few highlights from our rich conversation:
Jim’s wake up call and why he transitioned from CEO to Executive Coach and Strategic Advisor.The important distinction between content and context.Another Big Idea of the book: To Me, By Me, Through Me, As Me.A great description of Locating Yourself (above or below the line).The power, and necessity of accepting ourselves when we find that we are ‘below the line’ (which happens regularly for most of us).Jim does a walkthrough of the 15 Commitments with lots of context.Try the novel and playful approach for teaching others how to get the results you DON’T want - another way that CLG has made this content easier to take in.Jim gets vulnerable and provides a personal example of taking Radical Responsibility, which is Commitment #1.Jim does a beautiful job of embodying the generous, humanizing content from The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership. As you listen, you hear in the conversation my own ah-ha moments and how this conversation will impact the way I explain some of these concepts in the next program.
You can find out more by connecting with the following:
To discuss executive coaching, leadership development program design, and workshop facilitation, please visit: https://rise-leaders.com/contact-info/
To subscribe to Rise Words newsletter, visit: https://mailchi.mp/426e78bc9538/subscribe
Learn more about Rise Leaders at www.rise-leaders.com
Connect with LeeAnn Mallory on Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leeannmallory/
Follow Rise Leaders on our YouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/47Wk8do
Conscious Leaders Group https://conscious.is
Jim Fallon: https://conscious.is/team/jim-fallon
Book: The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership: https://tinyurl.com/15-Commitments
Locating Yourself handout: https://u.pcloud.link/publink/show?code=udhrtalK
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Transformation Happens in Community.
We don’t reach our potential alone. Without conversation, without rubbing up against each others’ nervous systems. Without vulnerability, self-awareness, being mirrored by others and without engaging to support their development as well.
I knew this episode would be special and it was, because I was engaging with deep thinking, big hearted people who care a lot about creating structures and ecosystems where others feel safe enough to take risks and shuck off old, familiar ways of being in the service of leaving a big legacy.
Rick Voirin, Chairman and Human Performance Partner at Stagen and Raft Viton of Slalom Consulting are my training partners in this episode.
Here are a few highlights. This was a juicy conversation that I hope you enjoy!
Development that sticks typically:Spans a period of timeKeeps a cohort of leaders engaged and together over this periodIs practice-basedRequires commitment and accountability Reference to the Greek proverb: “A society grows great when old men plan trees in whose shade they shall never sit” and what this means practically.Training vs Development: Training is more about what’s needed right now and filling skills gaps ; development is expanding that skills cup for the future and usually focusing it on the collective.The power of doing integral leader development inside a system is that it expands the impact to all stakeholders: employees, clients, client’s clients in ways that we can’t even imagineIntegral leadership development is growing human potential in multiple dimensions: career, relationships, spirituality, emotional, physical all those intelligences together. It’s a community-based way of being that puts us in a situation that invites us into believing that progress is possible for us.The primary commitment is to helping others reach the promise of their potentialAdaptability is a key (the key? ) attribute for all of us to thrive. Adaptability Intelligence.
It takes courage to change - to let go of what we know. Change is easier when… we know where to focus our attention, when we have practices to follow, when we have a supportive environment, when we have a clear path and we’re with a community of people. (Thank you for the reframe, Raff!)People will be attracted to those who are committed to figuring it (challenges) out, to evolving.When engaging with development, what you think is going to happen is not going to happen. We put structures in place in hopes of channeling energy and people will apply the learning in unique ways and have unique (and beautiful!) experiences. Or notThis episode is full of passion - we each care deeply about the work we do with leaders and with organizations. We see the power of social learning and grappling together with the challenges of our times. We believe that we can follow a path of intentional practice to expand our individual and collective ability to adapt, reach our potential and create environments that work for everyone.
To discuss executive coaching, leadership development program design, and workshop facilitation, please visit: https://rise-leaders.com/contact-info/
To subscribe to Rise Words newsletter, visit: https://mailchi.mp/426e78bc9538/subscribe
Learn more about Rise Leaders at www.rise-leaders.com
Connect with LeeAnn Mallory on Linked In:
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Jennifer Bartkowski, CEO of Girl Scouts of Northeast Texas, and Cris Lopez, Senior Vice President at Village MD join me today and we talk about the various and important perspectives to consider when providing development to current and future leaders in your organization.
Cris sits on the Board for the Girl Sounds of Northeast Texas and played a key role in advising Jennifer on selecting participants for the program.
I love this episode. Here are the important topics we discuss:
Tying leader development to the mission and vision of the organizationThe important questions to ask individuals when doing succession and development planning. Is there a will to lead?The role the Board of Directors can and should play in shaping the future of any organization, whether it’s non-profit or a corporate boardDeveloping people will change your culture!The importance of the executive team’s commitment to their own development Recognize the current reality of how your organization operates today and how that will enable and pose challenges to the new behaviors you wanting to see exhibitedThere will be surprises in how and where people apply their new learning - and where it doesn’t get applied!Leader development sits in the context of a larger commitment of the organization.If you’re leading an organization, advising an organization, or consulting with an organization committed to evolving to meet the needs of all stakeholder, you find yourself listening to this episode over and over!
To discuss executive coaching, leadership development program design, and workshop facilitation, please visit: https://rise-leaders.com/contact-info/
To subscribe to Rise Words newsletter, visit: https://mailchi.mp/426e78bc9538/subscribe
Learn more about Rise Leaders at www.rise-leaders.com
Connect with LeeAnn Mallory on Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leeannmallory/
Follow Rise Leaders on our YouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/47Wk8do
Connect with Jennifer Bartkowsk on Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenniferbartkowski/
Connect with Cris Lopez on LinkedIn: Cris Lopez: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cristinaclopez/
Girl Scouts of Northeast Texas: https://www.gsnetx.org/
Village MD: https://www.villagemd.com/
Women of Distinction Luncheon: https://www.gsnetx.org/en/support-us/donate-locally/women-of-distinction.html
Opal Lee: https://www.opalswalk2dc.com/
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In this first episode of Reimagine Leadership, I’m joined by Jennifer Bartkowski, the “very proud CEO of Girl Scouts of Northeast Texas”. This is the episode where we make strong links to organizational vision, mission and strategy and how leadership development is critical to an organization’s ability to thrive. It is the thread that connects strategy to execution to the fulfillment of the mission..
In addition to laying the groundwork for the seven-month program that was designed for the Girl Scouts of Northeast Texas (GSNETX), Jennifer describes the size, scope, and incredible assets of the organization. She does not shy away from the challenges the organization is facing and how she sees leader development as crucial to the organization’s success.
In the spirit of, ‘leaders go first’, Jennifer shares how she felt her own leadership skills first had to shift during COVID and the civil unrest we were all experiencing. She knew she could not change the organization on her own, which is why she wanted to make sure she gave everyone committed to the future of GSNETX the chance to be part of the unique program we were developing.
We hear Jennifer’s views on how the impact of Girl Scouts was declining; she acknowledges that their ways of serving the community had become misaligned with the actual needs of today’s girls and the challenges they face. We discuss the details of how the program was set up, how the module topics were selected to align with who and what the organization wanted to be. The program had to help build the capabilities and skills required to serve the community.
To discuss executive coaching, leadership development program design, and workshop facilitation, please visit: https://rise-leaders.com/contact-info/
To subscribe to Rise Words newsletter, visit: https://mailchi.mp/426e78bc9538/subscribe
Learn more about Rise Leaders at www.rise-leaders.com
Connect with LeeAnn Mallory on Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leeannmallory/
Follow Rise Leaders on our YouTube Channel: https://bit.ly/47Wk8do
Connect with Jennifer Bartkowsk on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jenniferbartkowski/
Girl Scouts of Northeast Texas: https://www.gsnetx.org/
Also Mentioned in this episode:
George Floyd: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Floyd
Stagen Leadership Academy: https://stagen.com/
Deloitte: https://www2.deloitte.com/
CoSpera: https://cosperoconsulting.com/
Yield Giving: https://yieldgiving.com/
MacKenzie Scott: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MacKenzie_Scott
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Welcome to the first episode of Reimagine Leadership, a limited series podcast on Rise Leaders Radio. In this episode, I introduce you to the leadership program I was invited to create and deliver for the Girl Scouts of Northeast Texas.
This transformational program was focused on developing the leadership capabilities required to build an organizational culture internally that could meet the needs of today’s girls externally. The seven-month, practice and cohort-based program used an inclusive approach in growing these leaders professionally and personally.
I’ll give a high-level overview of the program, the strategies used, and what you can expect in the episodes throughout this series. For details on each episode, please listen and refer to the show notes.
To subscribe to Rise Words newsletter, visit: https://mailchi.mp/426e78bc9538/subscribe
Learn more about Rise Leaders at www.rise-leaders.com
Connect with LeeAnn Mallory on Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/leeannmallory/
Follow Rise Leaders on our YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKZAhRU1iLsXYwpvCECVreg
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“I bet half of our anxiety is the energy of trying to remember which hat to put on in my relationship with [others]…And people end up becoming a less real version of themselves. …Why can't we be fully present to this process, and not have to put anything on the side - not try to take away the personal parts of who we are?”
Showing up fully human
What if I told you it’s possible to bring your full self to the workplace? Jeff Shiefelbein thinks it's not possible, but necessary for forming humans and building great cultures.
Jeff and I discuss how draining it is to change our personalities depending on where we are and who we're with. The expectations to leave your heart and your personality at the door when you come to work are changing. Jeff also explains the magnetism of authenticity and how facing difficult topics can help form connections and trust.
He speaks with experience: The company he co-founded has won multiple Best Places to Work awards, as well as five consecutive appearances on the Inc 5,000 fastest growing companies in America. His tenets behind the “Undivided Life” have contributed to this success.
You'll also hear how a run-in with the law in college inspired him to launch a nationwide nonprofit that has likely saved hundreds of lives.
At its core, successful businesses are comprised of engaged people working in concert.
Authenticity opens doors
“As you step into these bold moments of living, the way we’re actually designed to be, show up…what comes after [is] the freedom, mentorship, accountability, cool opportunities that you could have never predicted in your life. It’s because people feel like they know you, they might start to connect to you because you’re speaking and leaving a message that they have buried in their heart.”
Create connections at a micro-level for macro-change
“You start to develop this trusting relationship…And if you can keep building, your circle gets bigger and bigger, the ripples get further and further apart. You’re this pocket of people that you have a trusting and loving relationship with, and you're connecting…even if our big giant company or whatever organization has cultures within it that are toxic, let's just make the part that's right around us a place we like to come to. And that begets confidence; it begets this sense of ‘this is possible.’”
Caring about people leads to organization success
“You don't run the business by metrics, you run your run it by getting highly engaged, fully formed adults, loving, trusting, and empowering them, and getting out of their way…therefore, I think the whole health of that person becomes an input to the company's long-term health and success.”
“An undivided life also respects the fact that we weren't made to be 24/7 working machines that are 24/7 available. There's a dignity and respect to that person - that if I recognize the personal side of who they are, I also respect their personal time.”
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Undivided Life:
https://www.undivided.life
Connect with Jeff Schiefelbein on LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/schiefelbein
Energy By 5:
https://www.energyby5.com
Rise Leaders interview with Nathan Havey - Episode 60:
https://rise-leaders.com/podcast/
Link between Heart Attacks and Monday Mornings study:
https://www.menshealth.com/health/a19524979/heart-attack-timing/
To
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“Business is the social institution that that makes the world go ‘round. At one point in time, it was government and monarchies, and another point in time, it was religion. Now, it's businesses. So if we want to change the world, we have to change business.” – Nathan Havey
3D Business: A force for positive change
In the 1970s, Milton Friedman said that the only responsibility of business is to increase profits for its shareholders. Today, conscious capitalism expands the definition of success for businesses to be three-dimensional, to include the environment, a diverse workforce, and more, and to ultimately leave a positive impact on the world.
Nathan Havey believes transforming business is one of the best ways to help all people thrive. To that end, he’s done an impressive job weaving together his passions for film and storytelling alongside his public policy and consultant background to bring us the documentary Beyond Zero.
Together, we discuss:
- Nathan's road to creating the documentary and how it illustrates Conscious Capitalism
- How we can bring Conscious Capitalism into business conversations – and who can drive it
- The 6 elements important for stakeholder / conscious capitalism
- And more
With the right mindsets and practices in place, business has the ability to become a restorative enterprise that creates good in the world.
Positive impact is best for business
[5:35] “Business people need to understand the consequences their companies have on the environment and on humanity, and they need to try to make sure those are positive consequences. That’s the way we can actually work together to create a world that works for everyone…because it’s the best way for capitalism to operate.”
What's your BHAG? And does it go beyond your shareholders?
[7:09] "...all of the macro life support systems on Earth are in decline. And they're in decline because of industrial activity. And as he read what Hawkins said, he realized that he, as the chief executive of a global industrial company, was part of the Vanguard that was driving the decline of the life support systems on Earth. And so it, it absolutely shocked him to his core.
Business success = helping people be the best version of themselves
[47:52] “Rather than using people in your company for your gain – ‘I'm gonna pay you as little as possible, work you as hard as I can so I get maximum benefit from you’ – is there a way you can help make them the best version of themselves? Can you help them become who they want to be, to help them be who they need to be for their family?
When you do that, counterintuitively, they perform far better, and you actually end up getting better performance.”
Progress, not perfection
[24:32] “That stops a lot of companies from starting this journey – they see all these different places – there's environmentalism, and there's economic justice, and there's animal rights, and welfare, and where do we even begin? If we're going to start to do anything, are we going to immediately get slapped for everything that we're not doing?...
”We can't let the perfect be the enemy of the good, but the best way to do that is by holding up how much farther we still have to go so that it’s all in context.”
What can you do? The smallest gesture may have big payoffs
[14:09] "But what there is for us, each of us, to do is to just do the things that we see to do. And you never know what the other extenuating circumstances are, that when your small gesture of giving a book recommendation might be the thing that changes a piece of the world."
About the documentary Beyond Zero:
https://beyondzerofilm.com/
Ray Anderson Spear in the Chest
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Do you ever feel overwhelmed and even stuck by situations that feel complex, uncertain and ambiguous?
I certainly do.
My guest today, Jay Cone, tells us that there's a surprising power in not knowing what to do. He believes that if we can boost our immunity to feeling the chaos, we can respond with creativity and compassion rather than paralysis and tribalism. Does expanding your repertoire and freeing your mind sound useful? Then join us as we talk about bias, quicksand questions, and four disciplines for getting unstuck.
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“If we were able to have a more productive approach to uncertainty and ambiguity, we actually might find responses that make things better. But we want the easy answer. And it's our fascination with the easy answer, actually, that prolongs the chaos.”
- Jay G. Cone
Overcoming thinking traps
We often find ourselves stuck - both individually and collectively - as we're faced with chaos, uncertainty, and unpredictability. Easy answers can be very attractive, regardless of their long term viability. When we fall into these thinking traps, we may oversimplify the problem to create a simple solution. This need for closure creates hasty actions that can actually sink us further into the problem, like being stuck in quicksand.
Today, Jay outlines tips for avoiding thinking traps and nurturing an “unstuck” mind that’s open to new possibilities. Much of it begins with knowing the right questions to ask to open new ways forward. Being able to adaptively respond to uncertainty is helpful, because expertise and learning from the past doesn’t necessarily provide a fail-proof roadmap for the future.
The importance of building mental stamina
[08:28] “[In chaos] the only responses that we have are based in the limbic system in the amygdala, and we want to fight or we want to flee. But if we can develop our stamina for thinking, when things are complicated or uncertain or ambiguous, then we're not as susceptible to the same ideas and…closed mindedness and tribalism, that tends to paralyze us.”
[19:09] “And when you start focusing on simplistic answers, then you tend to hang out with people who have gravitated towards those same simplistic responses. And it gets to the point where it's just too difficult to be open to new information, different perspectives, or to continue processing things.”
How to know you’re stuck
[10:21] “One very common experience … you're really not clear on why it is that you can't achieve this goal. You make up all these reasons for why this attempt failed… So if a pattern emerges, there's a good chance that there's something more to be uncovered.”
[14:46] “If someone expressed a point of view…and all of a sudden [you] have horrible judgments…if that’s a feeling you’re having, and it’s one you’re not particularly proud of or that doesn’t make sense to you, that might be a leading indicator of stuckness as well.”
Identify quicksand questions
[23:05] “One of the things that you can look at is the way people pose questions ... the way people frame a question about a situation they want to change reveals a lot about how they're thinking and feeling.”
[26:16] “All these things that we want other people to do, we just frame a question around them and we work toward altering the behavior - rather than trying to understand whether we as leaders, organizations, are complicit and whether there’s something other than their behavior that needs to change.”
Get in touch with Jay Cone:
https://bit.ly/35ZVSZE
Useful links to "The Surprising Power of Not Knowing What to Do"
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“If we focus on goals alone, without being tethered into this beingness, [it] can activate and trigger us, and we see those goals as our persecutor…‘Was the goal big enough? Did I do it fast enough?’ So the goal-setting can actually become a persecutor. And in our own mind, we feel victim to that.” – Donna Zajonc
Are your goals also your persecutor?
Working toward a goal or vision is important - but how often do we pay as much attention to the person that we're being while in that pursuit, as the pursuit itself?
It’s easy to get caught up in the goal without placing attention on who we are along the way. However, without tending to ourselves we can feel trapped by our own goals and wonder if we’re living up to the standards we’ve set. Distress and reactive behaviors follow.
Donna Zajonc covers this topic in her new book, Who Do You Want to Be on the Way to What You Want.
Alongside her partner, David Emerald, they’ve developed a framework for recognizing and responding more intentionally when life throws us a curve ball. We learn to move out of the toxicity of the Dreaded Drama Triangle (DDT), and how to reorient ourselves with the The Empowerment Dynamic (TED).
We’ll discuss her new book, along with 3 powerful practices for you to use to look inward, spur creativity and conquer stress.
Tangled up in your emotions? Notice and name
[00:28:21] “When we notice and name something, we are now able to see it and hold it in our hand and go, ‘Oh, look at that.’ We're not as enmeshed into it, so we're not subject to it. It’s really a powerful psychodynamic thing that's going on, that allows us to have it and not be it…when we can do that, our body starts calming down.”
Stuck? Tell 3 stories
[00:30:50] “When we're really stuck and attached to a particular point of view, we’re constricted in our bodies, our minds are constricted - and we are totally lost to the creativity of any other possibility. So we literally must broaden our perspective. That's really hard to do when we're stuck in one perspective. The practice of the possibility of telling three stories [helps you realize] there's even more going on here than I realized.”
Create space and see what space creates
[00:39:24] “[Leaders often feel they] need to be able to tell people more ideas about how to fix this or be that. And it's actually the opposite - to let go of needing to have the answers and to create a safe space for others to step into their genius, their creator, their sense of who do they want to be. … Let's take a timeout let's breathe, let's calm ourselves, and trust that our wisdom is going to rise if we can calm ourselves.”
Resources:
Donna Zajonc [email protected],
Who do You Want to Be on the Way to What You Want? https://bookshop.org/a/16835/9781733678100
Center for the Empowerment Dynamic: https://www.theempowermentdynamic.com/
Link to coach training in May 2022: https://www.theempowermentdynamic.com/coaching-2/
Episode 51 Focus 2022: From Surviving to Thriving with 3 Vital Questions (Replay from February 2020): https://rise-leaders.com/podcast/
Rise Leaders YouTube channel:
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“Imagine if we could all show up in more, if not all, places in life fully ourselves - that we could fully open ourselves to learning, making mistakes, taking feedback, taking risks, and be being fully seen for our humanity and our potential without the fear of embarrassment or retribution.”
Move from socially defined to self-authored
Have you ever felt that internal tug-of-war where you yearn to bring your whole self to a situation - but you hold yourself back? Perhaps you self-impose guidelines for how you “should” speak and act in your organization?
Endeavoring to live with authenticity often causes internal conflict. We suffer when we constantly try to become what (we assume) others expect of us. As a result, we have less energy to innovate, improve and positively impact stakeholders. We end up with a decreased sense of well-being and satisfaction with work and life.
Ultimately, we want to live and lead in a way that exemplifies what’s most important to us.
To help you ground and elevate your authenticity, I share:
-What it means to live and lead with authenticity and be “self-authored”
-The cost incurred when we don’t fully show up as ourselves
-5 practices to help create more authenticity
Image management hogs organizational resources
[03:05] "In an ordinary organization, most people are doing a second job no one is paying them for ... spending time and energy covering up their weaknesses, managing other people's impressions of them, showing themselves to their best advantage, playing politics, hiding their inadequacies, hiding their uncertainties, hiding their limitations. We regard this as the single biggest loss of resources that organizations suffer every day.”
– From An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization by Harvard Professors Bog Kegan and Lisa Lahey
When we’re inauthentic, we suffer
[04:55] “Jesus said, ‘If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.’” – From the Gospel of Thomas
The result of authenticity? Vitality
[16:13] “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and go do that, because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” - Howard Thurman, author, philosopher and theologian".
“An Everyone Culture: Becoming a Deliberately Developmental Organization” by Harvard Professors Bob Kegan and Lisa Lahey: https://bookshop.org/a/16835/9781625278623
Self-Authoring mind: https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2017/01/27/what-having-a-self-authoring-mind-means/?sh=51a3a1953b77
The Gospel of Thomas:
https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/religion/story/thomas.html
Howard Thurman:
https://www.bu.edu/thurman/about-us/who-is-howard-thurman/
StrengthsFinder; CliftonStrengths: https://www.forbes.com/sites/forbescoachescouncil/2017/01/27/what-having-a-self-authoring-mind-means/?sh=51a3a1953b77
Owning Your Value | Key Elements for Authenticity & Personal Power:
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“Can you discern between resistance and fear and strategic changes in direction? …not giving up and changing direction because something is hard or scary, yet being willing to change your mind even when something you really wanted to pursue is no longer a good investment of your precious resources?”
Reflect, refresh, and recalibrate
The change in seasons reminds us that it's time to pause and reflect on what's behind and what's ahead of us. In organizational life we do quarterly reviews to assess progress and determine what we might need to stop, start and keep doing. Where do we need to step on the gas? Where should we apply brakes?
Spring (our current season in the Northern Hemisphere) is symbolic of new beginnings. Can you find this feeling of a fresh start and new growth in yourself?
Respond with Agility
In a constantly changing world, it’s not a problem to adjust our approach or our vision – it’s a strategic response. We reflect on our commitments in order to respond with agility.
In this discussion, we’re going to:
Pause in a deliberate way to connect with what’s important to us and our work in the worldLocate ourselves in a broader context, beyond our goalsTake the opportunity to apply discernment to our earlier planning: do our original commitments still make good strategic sense? Are we placing our efforts on the right priorities?This is a worthwhile practice to do individually and with your team. You can do this activity anywhere, anytime you have a spare moment, mentally or with a journal.
Answer these questions quarterly:
Who is the person (or team) you are committed to becoming?What is the impact you want to make?How are you doing on your goals? What adjustments do you want to make?How are your systems, processes, and practices supporting your intended impact?Links & resources:
Beginning Again 2022 https://mailchi.mp/68e183fd18bf/beginningagain2022
Podcast (source of Locate Yourself) Tami Simon & Lynne Twist on Sounds True: An Evolutionary Leap https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yV3BwmYkOCU
Article: How Regular Rhythms Unlock Powerful Growth https://www.monkhouseandcompany.com/blog/how-regular-rhythms-unlock-powerful-growth/
Origin of Easter: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-04-15/the-origins-of-easter-from-pagan-roots-to-chocolate-eggs/8440134
To discuss executive coaching, leadership development program design, and workshop facilitation, please visit:
https://rise-leaders.com/contact-info/
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“[In contrast to] the ‘either/or’, ‘right/wrong’ mindset where there's nothing in between - paradoxical thinking would say, ‘What if it's both? What if there’s value in understanding the first path, and value in equally understanding the other path, and even the third?’ … It’s about being able to hold that tension between paths.” – Renee Moorefield
Finding comfort in the contradiction
When we experience a paradox, we feel pulled in separate directions, without a clear or simple solution.
Most of us find sitting with that paradox uncomfortable, which is why we tend to look for a quick and easy solution - something we can rally around as well as defend. Our brains to do not like open loops, which makes tolerating paradox uncomfortable and why we avoid the feeling of being stuck in the middle!
Renee Moorefield’s Be Well Lead Well Pulse assessment measures the wellbeing of leaders across 19 dimensions. Research conducted by external experts shows that when leaders have a strong sense of wellbeing, they're more able to thrive amidst paradoxical situations. They can more easily navigate opposing ideas, extract important elements from each, and propose integrated solutions.
So when we expand our minds beyond the binary, we can avoid oversimplification and transcend it to create new, richer and more sustainable paths.
Be Well Lead Well Pulse overview
[04:12] “The Be Well Lead Well Pulse assessment is built on a framework of thriving, and the framework of thriving has 19 dimensions of wellbeing and stress resilience [that] feed into six dimensions…the framework was built to support leaders and all of us in having a sense of internal resourcefulness, and meet our complex demands.”
Wellbeing and paradoxical leadership
[24:06] “[You have] the ability to transcend the situation, because you’re looking for other perspectives, so you're not stuck in the conflict. You're really looking at it like, ‘I wonder how this could be true,’ almost with a sense of play and experimentation and looking for value - and then looking for another perspective that transcends what you feel you're in.”
[23:25] “We found that leaders reporting high levels of well-being were 38% (so close to 40%) more apt to report scoring high in their ability to lead paradoxes.”
Our brainstorm of practices
[27:22] “A paradox is not a problem that can be solved easily…To understand, usually have to slow down and start asking questions and start seeking a new perspective that maybe you weren't taking on the situation.”
[43:29] “As a daily routine, [start] a very basic mindfulness practice…the heart of mindfulness is about being present in the moment without judging it as good or bad, right or wrong, either/or…that alone can create insight, and possibly some movement, just becoming aware without judgment.”
Previous episodes with Renee Moorefield:
Episode 6: An Essential Link: Wellbeing and Leader Effectiveness
https://rise-leaders.com/podcast?ppplayer=2166354b3000fc311ad1272907939efb&ppepisode=1bc82973e146e48e32750026acef538d
Episode 24: Leadership, Ethnicity + Wellbeing | Renee Moorefield & Jane Cocking
https://rise-leaders.com/podcast?ppplayer=2166354b3000fc311ad1272907939efb&ppepisode=56f067defda899999cbb06f0e8d904d6
Resources:
Be Well Lead Well Pulse Insights: Effectively Leading Through Paradox: A Pivotal Role for Wellbeing
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“Respect yourself, respect others – respect the people you're working with. When you have those two ingredients, that will drive authentic communication among you and will be a part of your everyday working environment.” – Treg Manning
Wholehearted Leadership
When Treg reached out to me for leadership coaching, he was facing what he referred to as a crisis of confidence. Trust had been breached on his team and as a result hard decisions had to be made and big shifts occurred. It was not pretty. He knew that it would take hard work to turn things around and he put himself 100% into it. Wholeheartedly.
Treg responded with one of the most amazing examples of leadership and vulnerability that I have witnessed.
He discusses how it felt that day he laid everything on the table. Open Kimono. He also shares his philosophy on leadership and how horsemanship boosts his leadership effectiveness and life balance.
Honest, open communication for everyone
[22:56] “It can be painful to hear what [my team has] to say sometimes…but because of that, the loyalty that they have to the organization, and that we have towards each other, is probably the strongest of any environment organization I've ever been a part of.”
Horsemanship and Leadership
[29:33] “You have to build a bond with that horse – and you have to expect that they're going to test you, and then you have to respond in the positive way so that they respect you as a leader, but not respond too harshly, cannot be too emotional. You have to be very professional and respectful in that relationship.”
Treg explains you need to earn trust with a horse, and the process is a great model of reactive versus creative leadership.
Empathy leads to excellence
[36:53] “There needs to be empathy and trust built … because you won't get the best out of somebody until those walls come down. And then, when you're able to bring those walls down, and there's a trusting environment, you're going to see people shine like you've never seen them shine before.”
Resources mentioned in this episode:
To connect with Treg Manning, please visit:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/treg-manning-51a9b4b/
To discuss executive coaching, leadership development program design, and workshop facilitation, please visit:
https://rise-leaders.com/contact-info/
Sign up to Rise Leaders' newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/426e78bc9538/subscribe
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“Is our life an illustration of the ideals that we hold dear? Are we a living example of our personal philosophies for how to live meaningfully?”
Letting your life speak
As Maya Angelou famously said, "People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
As conscious and conscientious leaders, we not only strive for business results - we want to leave organizations, families and communities better than we found them. To gauge our impact, it’s helpful to look at it from the lens of our actions. What do they say about us?
The informal leaders in our lives are often unsung heroes, shaping families and communities for generations. They leave the world a better place by 'letting their life speak', as Parker Palmer famously wrote. They live in alignment with their often unspoken, yet embodied values.
This episode is about a very special woman in my life. Without ever explaining them, I knew Betty Mallory's values. She always made me feel special, welcomed, trusted and loved.
Reflections: Are you Walking Your Talk?
For you, what makes for a full and meaningful life?What is most important to you (aka your values)After several observations and interactions with you, could someone reflect back to you your values? Can you describe why or why not?What does embodying your values look like? What actions and behaviors would I observe?Links & Resources:
Episode #43: Pay Attention, Stay Curious | Hokusai Says - www.rise-leaders.com/podcast
Episode #33: Putting Your Values Into Action | Jerry Magar - www.rise-leaders.com/podcast
"Let Your Life Speak" by Parker Palmer: ( via my Bookshop affiliate link) https://bookshop.org/a/16835/9780787947354
Maya Angelou: https://www.mayaangelou.com/
Never miss an episode! https://mailchi.mp/426e78bc9538/subscribe
Subscribe to Rise Leaders on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCKZAhRU1iLsXYwpvCECVreg
Reach out to LeeAnn: https://rise-leaders.com/contact-info/
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“What if life was a place full of possibilities for us to get better at the things that we care about? Instead of a place where we need to prove that we’re great and perfect?” – Fran Cherny
If we expect ourselves to master new skills easily and in short time, we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment and very likely a resistance to future change efforts. To give ourselves the best chance for growth and development, it’s important that we align our efforts with our values.
Also important and often overlooked, we need to find joy in the journey.
Fran Cherny elaborates on this concept in a humble, passionate and compassionate way in his book, Be the Change: The Art of Becoming Our Own Innovation Project. Fran situates this book as "an invitation to learn how to learn: something to help us constantly seek the best version of ourselves".
What I enjoy about viewing myself as “an innovation project” is the idea of experimentation. I can approach any change in dynamic ways that make sense to me while caring for myself along the way. It's a welcome contrast to how-to hacks with 'five easy steps'.
A playful, iterative approach to progress
[20:00] “Once we give feedback to each other…the person is not going to be perfect tomorrow. And the moment we treat them in a way that … they're experimenting, they're trying, they're evolving, they're they're progressing, interaction after interaction, we’re creating a world where it's easier for people to change and to evolve.”
[21:10] “Let's share what we saw someone doing better than the previous time and then getting positive feedback from the session. That’s connected to growth mindset.”
Initiating change? Include gratitude
[45:20] “Transformational change can come from a place of appreciation and gratitude for who we are right now, for what already happened to make us who we are.”
[47:00] “I was not used to doing things from a place of gratitude … I was coming from a place of what needs to be fixed. And that created a lot of tension for me, for people around me and for the people I lead.”
Resources
To purchase Fran's book and to learn more about his approach to leadership, please visit: Francherney.com
Fran Cherny on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/francherny/
Fran Cherny twitter: https://twitter.com/francherny
Fran Cherny on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pg/Fran-Cherny-106803110751503/about/?ref=page_internal
Immunity to Change: https://www.gse.harvard.edu/hgse100/story/changing-better
Axialent: https://axialent.com/
Be the Change Spotify Playlist (Libro): https://open.spotify.com/playlist/139T2Gc92soP1j21gTqBnH?si=vVAzKjrZQQSqX_cHC8iA3g
Rise Leaders' newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/426e78bc9538/subscribe
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“When we focus on outcomes and take creative steps to go after that, we solve problems in service to those. It’s not that the Outcome Orientation is all goodness and light and problem free, but that we can tackle the problems that stand in the way of we really want and really care about.” – David Emerald Womeldorff
A 2022 Mindset Goal: An Outcome Orientation
As we dive into a new year, David Emerald Womeldorff’s discussion of problem mindset versus outcome mindset and the 3 Vital Questions is more relevant than ever. It’s why I’ve recapped this popular episode from 2020, especially as we prepare to tackle fresh challenges.
David discusses how all leadership begins with self-leadership, and how our mindset paves the way to a desired path. When we approach situations with a problem orientation, it drives anxious, reactive behavior and causes drama. In contrast, an outcome orientation keeps us focused on our passion: what we want to create and what’s supporting and aligning with our desired outcome.
As the author of The Power of TED and 3 Vital Questions: Transforming Workplace Drama, David makes complex topics easier to understand through his story-telling superpower.
Revisiting this conversation reminds me of the power of resilience in the face of organizational challenges and refreshes me as I plan my 2022.
Be the Victor, Not the Victim
[24:36] “There are two major components to our stepping into and developing our capability as creators. One is to create outcomes. The second is that we as Creators own our capacity to choose our response to whatever is going on in our lives."
Create and Generate
[33:32] “What actions are you taking? Are you merely reacting to the problems of the moment, or are you taking creative and generative action, including the solving of problems in service to outcomes?”
[35:03] “The three basic steps of dynamic tension are first and foremost, focus on the outcome and to be as clear as we can on the outcome, that the outcome can sometimes be clear and concrete – other times it may be more vague and directional.”
Resources mentioned in this episode:
3 Vital Questions website:
https://bit.ly/2Nsz927
The Power of TED: The Empowerment Dynamic:
https://bit.ly/3sM9eCE
3 Vital Questions:Transforming Workplace Drama
David Emerald
Donna Zajonc
Stephen Karpman's Drama Triangle
Bob Anderson's episode on Rise Leaders Radio
The Leadership Circle Profile
Robert Fritz: Structural Tension
Rise Leaders' newsletter: https://mailchi.mp/426e78bc9538/subscribe
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