Episodes
-
We've tried to hold two seemingly oppositional positions during our podcast series "How to Practice Social Justice This Election Season Without Being a Jackass". 1) We do not support fascism, most notably showcased by the 2024 Republican Party. 2) We support having relationships with people who think differently (and may vote differently) than we do. To help us navigate this, we invited Sarah and Nippy from the A Little Bit Culty (@alittlebitculty) Podcast to join us. They talk with us about the parallels between leaving NXIVM and leaving the Evangelical Church/Republican Party. And they also talk about ways that Progressive folks can effectively dialogue with folks leaving harmful organizations. We also talk about ways that Progressive folks can get in their own way. Check out our conversations about: The practice of moral superiority The dangers of proselytizing Creating change The binary and the absence of nuance How nuance can lead to more informed decisions Focusing on building solutions rather than just tearing things down Listen to Episode #84: How to Have Relationships with People Who Have Different Perspectives from You During the Election Season on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
-
For many Exvangelicals, there's an enormous pressure to move into spaces of advocacy for civil rights, especially two weeks before the 2024 Presidential Election. However, advocacy can easily replicate systems of criticism, moral superiority, and shaming, especially when there's un- or under-addressed fear, trauma, anger. We're thrilled to have Sally Gary (@sallygary) and Karen Keen (keen.kr) from Centerpeace (@centerpeaceinc) to talk with us about how to navigate the tension between advocacy and healing part of our series How to Practice Social Justice This Election Season Without Being a Jackass. Centerpeace is a supportive space for LGBTQ+ folks who desire a continued relationship with the church and Christianity. We talk with Sally and Karen about: The relationship between advocacy and healing. Pushing back against the obligation to advocate. How advocacy can replicate the communication patterns from Evangelical Christianity. Strategies for groups of people to respect the differences within the group. How our primary relationships can help us navigate the tension between advocacy and healing Check out Episode #83: How to Navigate the Tension Between Advocacy and Healing, with Sally Gary and Karen Keen of Centerpeace.
And please sign up for Centerpeace's Annual Conference later this week, or donate to their nonprofit. https://www.centerpeace.net Show notes and transcript are on the SV website! -
Missing episodes?
-
One of the biggest sources of stress this election season has been the publication of Project 2025. As we continue our series How to Do Social Justice This Election Season Without Being a Jackass, we recognize that many of the policies in Project 2025 are dehumanizing, as well as unwise. While the content inside Project 2025 is infuriating, it's nonetheless imperative that we familiarize ourselves with it, while also taking care to communicate effectively about its dangers. To help us, we invite Andra Watkins (@andrawatkins), author of the Substack How Project 2025 Will Ruin Your Life. Andra is one of the leading experts on Project 2025, and she talks with us about: Navigating the pushback in the deconstruction process The theocracy of Project 2025 The connection between expertise and experience Dog whistles and dealing with trolls Staying grounded Check out Episode #82: How to Do Social Justice This Election Season Without Being a Jackass: The Role of Project 2025, with Andra Watkins, author of How Project 2025 Will Ruin Your Life on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
-
A series called "How to Practice Social Justice This Election Season Without Being a Jackass" wouldn't be complete without an episode in which we talk about the scene of many crimes of jackassdom: social media. After all, the ways that we communicate in virtual platforms are quite different from in real life interactions. We can edit the things that we say. We lack the nonverbal context of understanding what happened before the interaction. We don't see how other people respond, which makes it easier to disconnect and dehumanize. In this episode, Julia and Jeremiah talk about: Hiding behind avatars The physiology of online interactions Shame and virtue signaling Gotcha moments Short form vs. long-form content, and other social media to-do's. Check out Episode #81: How to Practice Social Justice This Election Season Without Being a Jackass: The Role of Social Media on Apple Podcasts. And please give us a five star review and let us know what you enjoyed about the episode! Show notes and transcript are on the SV website!
-
Healthy systems, be they families, organizations, or countries, require healthy leadership. In our work as therapists, coaches, and cultural critics, we pay attention to the following question: How does one communicate to the larger system that they are a healthy leader? This week, we talk with Matthew Remski (@matthew_remski), co-host of the Conspirituality podcast (@conspiritualitypod) about two strategies that folks use to develop influence. Charisma. Vibes. Of course, these are notoriously difficult entities to quantify. And as we talk about with Matthew, there are significant consequences to a system when it assesses success primarily through one's charisma and vibes. A system that places high value on charisma and the construction of vibes is one that is prone to practice jackassdom. The projection of an emotional experience at the expense of healthy discussion about policies, positions, and context encourages moralism, virtue signaling, and blaming. Matthew talks with us about: Experience versus expertise The yoga industry and charisma Manufactured charisma The -isms and moral superiority The dangers of self-flagellation and perfectionism as agents of change Check out Episode #80: How to Do Social Justice This Election Season Without Being a Jackass: When Charisma and Vibes Interfere With Healthy Communication, with Matthew Remski of the Conspirituality Podcast whereve you get your podcasts.
-
November's presidential election represents a comparison between two forms of government. One, a democracy, driven by the principle that many people have voices, and ideally a government that works for a large sum of people. Two, an autocracy, driven by the principle that few people have voices. Autocracies, such as the 2024 Republican Party, often communicate via jackassdom, including blame, repression, and fear-mongering. In this episode, Julia and Jeremiah talk about common communication ploys from autocracy, and ways that progressives and other pro-democracy voters can avoid responding in ways that reinforce jackassdom. We talk about: Strategies of Autocracy What is populism? Political Theatre, a Distraction Populism & Anti-Intellectualism Moralism v. Moral Critique How Social Media Limits Empathy Check out Episode #79: How to Do Social Justice This Election Season Without Being a Jackass: Understanding Populism on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the Sexvangelicals website.
-
We are less than two months away from the 2024 Election. This Election season is a bit different, because rather than voting for separate political parties, we're voting for two systems: democracy and autocracy (specifically, a Christian Nationalist theocracy). Autocratic governments tend to rely on disinformation, propaganda, repression of voter rights, and fear-mongering in order to develop their power. The 2024 Republican Party is no different. A lot has been written about how the public can ethically respond, and quite frankly, there aren't a lot of great answers for the next 6 months, other than voting en masse. We know responses that make it worse. Name-calling and blaming, while potentially cathartic, only entrench the polarization. Communicating around social identity ("White people do ____." Women think ____.") reinforces the stereotypes that progressivism attempts to reject. From now until Election Day, we will be releasing a series called "How to Do Social Justice Without Being a Jackass." We'll talk with our guests about how to hold our anger and fear without responding in dehumanizing ways. In our introduction episode, we talk about: What does Jackass-dom mean? Deconstruction as a Political Process Responding to Hate A Relational Health Approach Behavior v. Values Moral Superiority We'll also close with some specific Relationship 101 tips. Check out How to Do Social Justice This Election Season Without Being a Jackass: An Intro on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
-
It's the first week of school for many students and families. The excitement of a new school year comes with new relationships, new beginnings, and setting goals. For many folks, especially those who grew up in conservative religious environments, setting goals can carry an enormous amount of anxiety with it. This week, Julia and Jeremiah explore what it might look like to engage with the back-to-school season without the pressure of setting goals. We discuss: The pressure to be excited The anxiety of heaven being the ultimate goal The loss of play Setting new definitions on success Setting boundaries with the urgency desire Check out Episode #77: Summer Series: Taking a Break From...Setting Goals on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the SV website
-
Social media has the capacity to bring out the worst in us as communicators. Julia and Jeremiah talk about strategies for communicating as effectively as possible on social media, which can include taking a break from it altogether. We explore: Real life examples of how to not conduct yourself on social media Virtue signaling and shame How to resolve conflict on social media effectively. The dangers of short form content. Building community, both virtually and in real life Check out Episode #76: Summer Series: Taking a Break from...Social Media on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the SV website.
-
Our work as relationship therapists invites couples to consider the variety of ways that their relationship could look, based on the values, traits, and preferences of the people in that relationship. Plenty of couples choose monogamy because it best aligns with these characteristics. However, performative monogamy refers to cultural aspects that reinforce explicit and implicit expectations of sexual exclusivity. On that note, we're talking this week about the performativity of weddings. Evangelical weddings take this a step further as the marriage and wedding ceremony represent the socially sanctioned way for two people to become sexual persons. We're joined by our marketing and communications director, Maddie, for this episode. The three of us talk about: Weddings as a status symbol The quirks of Evangelical wedding KitchenAid Mixers and other ways that society rewards those who get married Giving away the bride and patriarchy The cringey practices of weddings, like morning after breakfasts and garters. Surviving weddings Check out Episode #75: Summer Series...Taking a Break from the Performativity of Weddings on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the Sexvangelicals website.
-
One of the biggest myths about sexuality is that the more sex you're having, the better the relationship is. Perhaps that's true, perhaps that isn't. But the myths around quantity place extreme pressures to perform sex, and a lot of panic around seasons with a lower quantity of sex. This week, as we continue our summer series "Taking a Break From...", Julia and Jeremiah talk about: Sexual sabbaticals The anxiety around sexual sabbaticals The pressures around sex in Evangelical contexts Transitions into sexuality, and ensuing pressures The decrease of sexual activity among gen-Z The ebbs and flows of sexuality throughout the course of a relationship Check out Episode #74: Summer Series: Taking a Break from Sex on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the SV website.
-
Happy first official week of summer! We recognize that for many folks, summer requires a reorganization of scheduling and routines for parents, who have three months in which they cannot rely on schools to partner with them in rearing their children. While some parents see these three months as exciting, others face these months with growing trepidation. This week, we're talking about how to create structures that can hopefully make parenting a little less overwhelming for the next few months. Julia and Jeremiah talk about: Setting Realistic Expectations The Expectations of Parenting in Evangelical Communities Fear-Based and Performative Parenting Policing Parenting Letting Your Kids Be Bored How to Collaborate and Share the Responsibility with Your Co-Parent and Your Community Check out Episode #73: Summer Series: Taking a Break from the Expectations of Parenting on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast
-
This week, Sexvangelicals has teamed up with the I was a Teenage Fundamentalist podcast, to bring you their thought-provoking conversation with Tracey Phalen. She herself was a teenage fundamentalist, and details her experience as a member of the Last Days Ministries. The episode begs the question, was Keith Green a cult leader?
-
Many folks who grew up in the 90s and 00s grew up with an extreme amount of sex negativity. Regardless of whether or not they grew up in Evangelical churches, Gen-X and millennials were impacted by a culture and policy that reinforced negative messages about bodies, sexuality, and gender. And it's on us to make sure that future generations aren't saddled with equally negative messages and practices about sexuality and relationships. We talk with Lindsay, Meg, and Sarai from the Holy Ghosting Podcast @holyghostingpod about how they have navigated talking with their kids in more effective, affirming, and healing ways. Check out our conversations about: Project 2025 Imposter Syndrome Discussing and Demystifying Masturbation Shame Engaging with Sexuality at Different Ages The Pain of Saving Yourself Relational v. Behavioral Demphasizing the Importance of Sex The Gravity of the Deadly Sexual Sins The New Generation and Liberation Check out Episode 71: How to Talk with Your Kids About Sexuality When You Grew Up in an Evangelical Community, with Lindsay, Meg, and Sarai from the Holy Ghosting Pod on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the SV website.
-
Mother's Day was this weekend, and is a complicated holiday for many folks. On the one hand, the celebration of women's expected unpaid labor for one singular day seems trite, at best. On another hand, women navigate a myriad of challenges on the pathway to motherhood, from obnoxious questions about timing, to pregnancy loss.
Ideally, parenting is a collaborative relationship between two (or more) parents, with each parent contributing an equal amount to the development of their children. We talk with Lindsay, Meg, and Sarai from the Holy Ghosting Podcast (@holyghostingpod) about their experiences co-parenting, both while in religious communities, and during the deconstruction process. We discuss:
Co-Parenting Wins Deconstructing Human Depravity as a Parent Trusting Yourself Outside of Religion Choice in Motherhood Abortion Stillbirth Lack of Structure and Support Creating Space for Grief The Myth of "Spiritual Warfare" Not Believing is Not an Option Pre-Existing Conditions and Shame Mirroring Healthy Disagreements in Coparenting Parenting Post-Deconstruction Check out Episode 70: How to Navigate Co-Parenting Post Deconstruction, with Lindsay, Meg, and Sarai from the Holy Ghosting Pod on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the Sexvangelicals website. -
Pride month next month is going to be especially important.
Based on the threats from Project 2025 and the behavior of other religious nationalist groups, federal bills that prevent states from discriminating against queer folks are at risk. Coming out, already a stress-inducing process, especially for folks in conservative areas, would have far greater anxiety connected with it under a second Trump administration. We invite singer-songwriter Adaline, founder of the nonprofit Bad Believer, to help explore the anxieties that come with coming out. Adaline talks with us about: Her new album, Hymnal No Hate Like Christian Love Erasing Love Rebecca St. James & Waiting Not Being a Part of Your Own Story The Mythmaking of Purity Culture Autonomy and Choosing Yourself Love Songs Radical Acceptance, Jesus, and Unconditional Love Hymnal was released March 22. Download it today! Also, check out this episode and all other episodes of Sexvangelicals on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the SV website. -
One of the most common targets of Evangelical, Mormon, and Pentecostal (EMPish) communities in the 21st century are queer people. The moralizing of straight, married relationships places people who are attracted to folks of the same sex/gender and folks who are curious about sexual experiences with same sex/gendered people in terrible double binds. Folks can accept and practice sexuality in alignment with their sexual orientation in the face of name-calling, loss of relationships with family members, and threats of violence. Or they can squelch or hide their sexuality, or practice their sexuality in more secretive ways, which itself can have negative impacts. Coming out in EMPish communities carries a ton of undue emotional and relational pressure. To help us navigate that, we've invited singer-songwriter and founder of non-profit Bad Believer (@badbelievercommunity), Adaline (@adalinemusic), to share how she navigated her own coming out process. We talk with Adaline about her first album, Hymnal, as well as: Body Talk and EMPish Communities Hierarchy in Sin Binaries and Sexuality Co-Opting Coming Out Stories for Her Songs "Part of You" and "Waist Down" Building Personal Strength Trusting Desires Family Systems: When Your Pastor is Also Your Father Embracing Your Body Sensuality and the Music Video Coming Out and Guilt Her Nonprofit, Bad Believer
Check out Episode #68: Coming Out in Evangelical Families, with Singer-Songwriter, Adaline, part 1 of 2, on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Show notes and transcript are on the SV website -
What are the messages that we wish we learned about masculinity? What are messages that we'd like to teach younger generations about masculinity, and in conjunction, how we might do relationships more effectively, more collaboratively? We are thrilled to have Zach Wagner (@zacharycwagner), author of Non-Toxic Masculinity, on Sexvangelicals this week. Zach talks with us about: The Books of Deconstruction The Narrative of Sex and Conquest Broadening the Script Male Sexuality Injecting Shame Shame & Desire EMPish Communities and Being “Counter-Cultural” Internalized Narratives Desire Starting Sex Ed Early Check out Episode #67: Banned Books: Non-Toxic Masculinity, by Zach Wagner, part 2 of 2 on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Show notes and transcript are on the SV website.
- Show more
