Episodes
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The Boys of Summer, Don Henley, The Ataris, pencils, FMK, EPs, Casa Bonita, blink-182 plane crash versus cancer, funeral service for broken record player needles, apartments with no bath or shower, sickle versus umbrella, plus after show bonus audio.
Double X Quantimino
Do The Math: Did Don Henley earn The Ataris more than The Ataris earn The Ataris on Spotify?
Guestimation Unknown No. 2 - pencils
FMK: Catwoman, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn
Recommended extended plays (EPs)
No tipping at Casa Bonita
Understanding in a plane crash
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Millennium-old Japanese temple offering funeral service for broken record player needles
Apartments with no bath or shower rising in popularity among young Tokyoites
Sickle-wielding attacker safely fended off by victim’s umbrella in Aomori
Burnt End: Burrito’s Prescription, Coupon Book, Guy Hair Counter
Deepfake Sponsors: Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
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Coheed and Cambria albums ranked by The Burrito Bandito in response to The Hard Times article, finger d¡ck or d¡ck hand?, Mein Cumpf, cassettes, The Presidents, One hundred ten percent, Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Double X Quantimino
Let's taco bout it - Every Coheed and Cambria Album Ranked article by The Hard Times
Finger d¡ck or d¡ck hand?
Mein Cumpf
Cassettes - nostalgia, Hanson, The Presidents
Ten percent
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Curses for sale on Japan’s leading flea market site Mercari
Japanese college student admits he robbed taxi driver, denies in court that he was rude about it
Domino’s Japan creates a bacon shake for dipping pizzas into
Deepfake Sponsors: Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
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Missing episodes?
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Sneaky link, Zoot Suit Riot, walking around barefooted, Covenant Eyes, Frederick’s of Hollywood, Nick Cannon, 50 Cent, Wheel of Fortune, plane door, gross model, kidney stone, beer keys, a million pennies, 5 million yen, air for sale, tiny newspapers, samurai assassination plot
Double X Quantimino
Sneaky link
Zoot Suit Riot
Walking around barefooted
Covenant Eyes
Frederick’s of Hollywood
Nick Cannon Calls 50 Cent 'Fat:' 'Now It's Get Thick Or Die Fryin'
Guestimation Unknown - Wheel of Fortune viewers per week
This Is The Newz
'I wondered what I'd done wrong in life,' says man next to passenger who opened plane door on flight
Gross model reveals what remote-workers will look like in 2100
What if your d!ck had taste buds?
Sri Lanka doctors remove 5.26-inch, 1.76-pound kidney stone from patient
Beer kegs block Michigan highway after semi overturns
California family finds a million pennies while cleaning out old house
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
5 million yen in cash found in Otsu City dump
Air from 2022 for sale on Japanese flea market app Mercari
Tiny newspapers
“Get them drunk then chop off their heads.” Samurai’s assassination plot against U.S. envoys found
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
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Pre-show
UBI, universal healthcare
Brian put a timestamp so this is why you have it now instead of six months from now
New year’s resolutions
Amazon aquarium accessories
Noah K
Double X Quantimino
In your prime could you have done it? - Since 1948, the 72-ounce Top Sirloin Dinner has been served free to anyone who can eat the entire steak and trimmings within one hour.
Price Is Right Rules
Dennis Douglas Dung nicknamed 3D
Slammich - our own custom sandwich
How much was Brian’s meal at Quiznos?
Quizno hack to not pay extra for guacamole
Twofer’s - a sandwich shop that sells half-and-half sandwiches
Costco cheesecake return
Is drywashing a thing? Wiping a spoon
Beef pizzle
Hack-a-dick
Gangrene feet
This Is The Newz
Single mother’s future in jeopardy after thief steals driveway
Pastor accused of trying to push McDonald's cook's head into deep fryer for 'disrespecting' his wife
Video shows man attack district court judge during sentencing
Ohio man shot in testes by ex-girlfriend says he still loves her
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Japanese life insurance company develops dating sim where you’re not supposed to get insurance
Bar explodes in Tokyo’s Shinbashi neighborhood
All-you-can-eat doughnuts at Mister Donut: How many can we eat in 60 minutes?
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
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Carnevil, The House of the Dead, Etsy, milk glass, laundry frequency, finger lickin’ good, high flying birds and fearless flying frogs, motorcycle ride with one helmet, 23 cents, Lemon Party, neighbor sues over medical weed smell, drunk duck fights dog, three men and a giant inflatable duck, cocaine on Sonic hot dog, drunk politician doing pullups inside train, 85-year-old great grandmother virtual YouTuber, police mascot flipping bird stickers
Double X Quantimino
Carnevil or The House of the Dead?
Arthur the Arbiter - Item title and options mislead. An Etsy review.
Milk glass and Brian’s grandfather’s glass collection
The 'no-wash' and 'low-wash' movement - how often is your denim washed
"finger lickin' good"
High flying birds and fearless flying frogs
Hypothetical Meta Analysis - motorcycle ride, one helmet
23 cents
Lemon Party documentary
This Is The Newz
Judge orders DC man to stop smoking medical weed at home after neighbor sues over smell
Duck walks into pub, drinks pint, fights dog, loses
Three men swept out to sea on giant inflatable duck
New Mexico woman finds cocaine on Sonic hot dog
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Drunk Japanese politician in trouble for doing pullups inside moving train
85-year-old great-grandmother from Hiroshima is Japan’s newest virtual YouTuber/idol
Tokyo couple caught making stickers with police mascot flipping bird
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
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Celebrity butt water, sock shoe, caramel, three fingers in the honeycomb, one comic book, Walmart version of Margot Robbie, car flies Dukes of Hazzard style, guillotine, Duck Hunt, eunuch maker’s frozen leg, Saitama thugs, calling police 2,060 times in 9 days, condombassador
Double X Quantimino
Celebrity butt water
sock shoe sock shoe or sock sock shoe shoe
Caramel
RHCP lyrics “Three fingers in the honeycomb”
Burrito has enough space in his bugout bag for one comic book to bring to La Isla - Spider-Man: Blue #6
knock-off of a knockout
“Dramatic body camera footage shows a car speeding down a Georgia highway, catching a tow truck ramp and flying about 120 feet through the air "Dukes of Hazzard"-style, authorities say. The driver survived the crash with serious injuries.”
This Is The Newz
Couple's choreographed suicide by guillotine ends with heads rolling into fire altar
Deputies accuse man of using Nintendo ‘Duck Hunt’ pistol to rob a business
Man admits freezing leg of alleged ‘eunuch maker’ who was accused of broadcasting live castrations
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
“I’m the most famous thug in Saitama!” Japanese kids’ social media beef leads to beating, arrests
Saitama man arrested for calling police 2,060 times in 9 days to yell at them
14th-generation condom ambassador named by Japan’s Sagami Original
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
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Tacos fall apart, that double space, The Taming of the Shrew, throwing out undies, $19 smash burger, movie soundtracks, Bomb Queen, Brazilian steakhouse, hiding in a store after close, seals stick eels up nose, tipping culture, Hot Pocket shooting, Plymouth Hoe palm trees, plastic egg tarts, Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Double X Quantimino
Plug In & Hate - "It's ok if u fall apart sometimes. Tacos fall apart & we still love them"
That double space between a full stop and the next sentence
The Taming of the Shrew
When to throw out the undies
A $19 smash burger
One movie soundtrack to take to La Isla
Bomb Queen
Brazilian steakhouse
Hiding after close in a store of your choice
This Is The Newz
‘Make better choices’: Researchers beg endangered seals to not stick eels up nose
Influencer who created AI version of herself says it's gone rogue and she's working 'around the clock' to stop it saying sexually explicit things
TikTokers say tipping culture is getting 'out of hand' after a woman claimed a Ben & Jerry's cashier got annoyed when she didn't tip for a $2 cone
Man shot roommate in Kentucky for eating last Hot Pocket, police say
Plymouth Hoe palm trees cut down in sex and drugs crackdown
Morse - Vibration Messenger
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Egg tart vendor promises not to accidentally sell realistic plastic samples a third time
More than one in three Japanese working women in survey would rather be housewives
Man rides motorbike into lobby of Fukuoka police station, demands they crack down on rude driving
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
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Weapons for The Purge, vuvuzelas, poker, lima beans, Honey Buns, $70 safety razor, Newz, one million bees, toe sucking, Martha Stewart, Boot Girls, BNN, precious metal fillings, candy from Grave of the Fireflies, Krispy Kreme doughnut burger
Double X Quantimino
Weapons of choice during The Purge
Vuvuzelas
Poker’s popularity, Strip Poker on USA Network
Lima bean, clitorati
Guestimation Unknown - Honey Buns
A $70 safety razor
This Is The Newz
Ajax man facing charges after obtaining sexual services and refusing to pay
One million bees released during tractor-trailer crash on I-10 Westbound and US-301
Man rescued from woods after sex game goes awry
Hilton Hotel manager arrested for waking up guest by sucking on his toes
Woman's body found in Arby's freezer
Driver tried to switch places with his dog on DUI stop in Colorado town, police say
Martha Stewart lands 'historic' Sports Illustrated Swimsuit cover
Masturbation with 'sex toy' kills man; gets electrocuted with ping pong ball up his butt while jerking off
A ride with Boot Girls, 2 women challenging Atlanta's parking enforcement industry
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Kyoto City planning to sell cremated people’s precious metal fillings for millions of yen
Candy from Ghibli’s Grave of the Fireflies disappearing as manufacturer goes out of business
Krispy Kreme adds doughnut burgers to its menu in Japan
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Tentative titles: “Meet the Wolves Halfway”, “The Ant and the Lima Bean”, “Innocence and Piggies”
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Wrestling entrance songs, NDAs, time is an illusion / social construct / flat circle, the bar scene, boys and girls’ bikes, mermaid statue, drugs shipped to restaurant, $120K banana, penis surgery gone wrong, orgasm heard at LA Philharmonic concert, fish semen on the sushi menu, Betty at 92’s male striptease show, all-you-can eat cookie cafe, beautiful women on apartment visits, JP government seeks power to control AC remotely
Double X Quantimino
Wrestling entrance songs - Brian: Let’s Get Reptarded, Art: The War, GMN: Hero, Burrito: Simon Says
Reality show NDA
Entrance songs but only from James Bond movies
Time is an illusion and a social construct
Time is a flat circle
A homunculus amunculus
The bar scene
Boys and girls' bikes
This Is The Newz
Mermaid statue causes stir in southern Italy
Man arrested after $3M worth of drugs shipped to restaurant
Banana drama: ‘hungry’ South Korean student eats $120,000 artwork
Man dies after penis enhancement surgery goes wrong
Woman's ‘loud and full body orgasm’ heard during LA Philharmonic concert
Michelin star chef inspired to add ‘fish semen’ to the menu at high-end restaurant
Care home resident fulfills dream of watching male striptease show at 92
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Reminder: Japan has awesome all-you-can-eat cookies cafés
Tokyo real estate agency sends beautiful women with you on apartment visits for date-like mood
Japanese government seeking power to turn down private home air conditioners remotely
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
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Walnutmilk, Mylk, Mxlk, Rawr, OwO/UwU, 3½-hour long movie or live music performance, Avril, JTT, Utopia, Prions, How much until you have to let your pet go?, Jersey Mike’s charity contribution to Boners for Algernon, overthinking, Desiigner, penis for sale, claw machine, cooked bats, stillborn, police bunny, RoboDog, robot waiters, food prank
Double X Quantimino
Walnutmilk, Mylk, Mxlk
Rawr is my OwO
Three and a half hours of a live music performance or movie
Avril, JTT, Utopia
Cool band name? - Hotass Pedxphiles
Prions
How much until you have to let your pet go?
Guesstimation Unknown: Mike's Way®
Boners for Algernon
Overthinking? Ruminating? Breathe.
This Is The Newz
Rapper Desiigner charged for masturbating aboard overseas flight
Man 'tries to sell penis' at Eastern Cape shopping mall
Boy, 13, gets stuck climbing into claw machine for prize
German officials seize cooked bats near Belgian border
Pair charged with throwing away ashes of stillborn infant
Baby Gooch: “I’m stillborn. I stay born. Go shop at Liz Claiborne.”
Officer Cottontail? Bunny joins the police force. Fur real.
RoboCop? No, RoboDog: Robotic dog rejoins New York police
Are robot waiters the future? Some restaurants think so
Japan police arrest 2 in food prank at beef bowl diner
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
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A paper coffee cup, George Foreman Grill, human burgers, Make-A-Wish wishes, sugar AIDS, throwing stacks of $100 bills out a car window, meta analysis, raw water, two million dimes, hit man names, epoxy condom, gyoza king, asking to jerk off in a convenience store bathroom, cat fur bed sheets
Double X Quantimino
A paper coffee cup
George Foreman Grill
Human burgers
You're a Make-A-Wish kid and your wish is going to be granted.
Sugar AIDS, Chasr, Got Bugz
A man threw stacks of $100 bills from his car window in a wild show of generosity. His family says he drained their bank accounts, leaving them broke.
Meta-analysis, Part 1: Testosterone treatment not linked to short-, medium-term CV events in men
Meta-analysis, Part 2: Sex after menopause doesn’t need to hurt
Urechis caupo
This Is The Newz
Trendy “raw water” source under bird’s nest sparks diarrheal outbreak
Police search for group of suspects who stole 2 million dimes from truck in Northeast Philadelphia
Tennessee Air National Guardsman applied to be a hit man on a website - and got arrested
Hitman names: Montezuma’s Revenge, Gloom and Doom, Ambivalence, Brian Shrimp
Man dies after having sex using epoxy adhesive instead of a condom
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Kyoto police issue arrest warrant in nine-year-old murder of Japan’s gyoza king
Teacher in Japan politely asks to use convenience store bathroom to jerk off, gets arrested
Japan created bed sheets that feel like petting a cat, and they sold out immediately
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
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Vinyl record grooves, The Flaccid and the Furious, horny goat weed, White Van Scam, ranch sauce, your wife has been kidnapped, Caesar salad, your AI existence, alcoholic dog now sober, offensive shirt at Walmart, Resident Evil 4 upskirt, 18,000 cows, cocaine hippo hit by SUV, Apple store robbed, Fabrizio, Japanese fight festival, man buys coffee but gets latte, Least Attractive Prefecture
Pre-show
F–k Dungeon
Rebel Wilson Tribute
A Facef–k to Remember
Double X Quantimino
Groove
The Flaccid and the Furious
Horny goat weed
Booba Gettz spotted in the wild in Arthur's Nextdoor feed: ‘SCAM: Watch out for the “White Van Speaker Scam” in the area. A guy pumping gas next to me, at Exxon, almost fell for it. The scammer was in a white truck “selling” a home entertainment system.’
Ranch
“Your wife has been kidnapped and is being held in a location 30 mins away. You’re driving to rescue her. It’s a warm night and your windows are down. Do you listen to music on the drive there yes or no”
Plug In & Hate - What I Had For Lunch: Caesar salad
What if you found out you were an AI bot?
Did Arthur Dream of Electric Podcasts?
This Is The Newz
Alcoholic dog who got addicted to drinks left out by owner now sober
Walmart removes offensive shirt with hidden curse after complaints
Ashley breaks the fourth wall in Resident Evil 4 Remake if you try to upskirt her
18,000 cows killed in explosion, fire at Texas dairy farm may be largest cattle killing ever
Re-enactment Newz: Brian is the newscaster in the helicopter. Gemini is the SUV driver. Burrito is the hippo.
One of Pablo Escobar's 'cocaine hippos' dies after being hit by an SUV in Colombia
Washington Apple store robbed of $500,000 in iPhones after thieves tunnel through coffee shop wall
Fabricio/Fabrizio
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Fights break out at Japanese fight festival
Man arrested for trying to kill a convenience store owner over a cup of coffee
Japanese prefecture replaces Ibaraki as Least Attractive Prefecture in annual ranking
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
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X-Men intimacy, John Stamos gets crowned, a Friends smashup, eat a McGlizzy, where to find grapefruit gelatin, mustaches, Batgirl, what pandemic?, the Blue October Girl archetype, losing 30 lb eating McDonald’s, Luby’s Hamber Alert, a teenager pretends to be a physician’s assistant to access a hospital, mammoth meatballs, knockoff designer brands, a hacker returns $200M, naked man drives school bus, a gang member with Down syndrome, all you can eat ice cream and frozen food, an English-speaking-only bar in Japan, a woman defrauds men for 4.4M yen.
Double X Quantimino
The best X-Men with which to have sex
John Stamos
Friends Smashup
The McGlizzy
Getting grapefruit gelatin for your bae
Mustache
That canceled Batgirl movie
How We Buried A Pandemic
Blue October Girl
This Is The Newz
Man eating McDonald's for 100 days is down nearly 30 lb so far — and now his wife is joining him
Luby's apologizes for ham-handed promotion
Teenage imposter gains access to two Slam City South South hospitals
Meatball from long-extinct mammoth created by food firm
Customs officers seize more than $700,000 of knockoff Gucci, Chanel, other designer brands
Hacker Behind $200M Euler Attack Apologizes, Returns Millions in Ether, Dai to Protocol
Naked man driving stolen school bus with dead deer inside leads police on chase
Alleged gang member with Down syndrome indicted in separate Chicago murders
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
All you can eat ice cream and frozen food restaurant becomes a hit in Akihabara
English-speaking-only bar opens in Osaka and Tokyo, yellow cards for those who don’t follow rules
Shiga woman defrauded 4.4M yen by man asking for money to fly down from the ISS and marry her
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Slam City Radio 24/7 x https://slamcity.co/scr247/ -
The Mayor Pro Tem Boston Cream Cake story is retold. A customized aroma collection for Slam City is workshopped. Motor vehicle operators must now be able to also properly operate a bicycle. A mother’s daughter asks for $4 to pay for a classmate’s field trip fee, but Mom says no. Cassettes are limited edition collectibles now? Arthur was late to the recording session, so no Newz this episode. The Burrito Bandito brings odd news from Japan about a briefcase filled with adult toys, bears serving coffee through a hole in the wall, and a straight-bar keyboard. If your attention span takes you to 45:03, Jaymark takes you time-traveling.
Double X Quantimino
Gemini and The Burrito Bandito explain Mayor Pro Tem to Brian and the listener.
Slam City's Aroma Collection - Barbacoa, Olympic Swimming Pool, Grundle, Clam City (Glitter + Shame), and Nostalgia Stage Two
Hypothetical Meta Analysis - To legally operate a motor vehicle, one of the requirements is that an applicant must be able to properly operate a bicycle.
Did she make the right decision? A mother declines to give her daughter $4 to pay for another classmate’s field trip fee.
When did collectible limited edition cassettes become a thing? Do I need to dig out my old Walkman? As The Burrito Bandito was swinging and missing on buying a copy of the Coheed and Cambria SSTB vinyl repress, pronoun noticed a cassette section in Equal Vision's store.
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Bomb squad in Japan summoned to take care of an abandoned briefcase full of adult toys
Bears serve environmentally friendly coffee and treats via a hole in the wall at new Tokyo cafe
Google Japan creates the Key Bou, an insane and logical straight-bar keyboard
After Party: A brief review of Martin House Brewing Company Raspberry Mochi fruited sour + tips on meeting women
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
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The scientific method, buying tickets, first movie on a date at home, $3 for cheese on a burger, chivalry was killed, teledildonics, Crispr baby, stop Rickrolling, The Big Nasty, Newz, Ninja Bear, trains, and raincoats.
Pre-game: The Scientific Method
Double X Quantimino
Buying tickets then and now
Calling All Casanovas & Don Juans, Part 2 - A Movie
A woman ghosted a date because he wouldn’t order $3 cheese for his burger
Chivalry didn't die, it was killed
Teledildonics
You found out that you're a Crispr baby
Stop Rickrolling
Slam City Lucha Libre - The Burrito Bandito vs The Big Nasty
This Is The Newz
Man who killed 3 people, cut heart out and cooked it pleads guilty in Oklahoma
Security guard dragged by truck while chasing person who stole 3-foot foam carrot from Clearview Mall's Easter display
Norfolk burglar stole sex toy after break in through dog flap
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Giant “Ninja Bear” has been attacking dairy farms in Hokkaido for three years
Japanese public broadcaster issues apology for calling a train a “train”
Japan’s Raincoat Man arrested for stealing 360 women’s raincoats
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
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Electric lawnmowers, mind control, free delivery isn’t free, Weezer gave Pikus speakers, bok choy for some box joy, HEB, Nickelback, boneless wyngz, $432K worth of crab, sister city scam, $40k worth of calculators, Raw Dawgs, corn syrup train derails, melon taste, rear train cars, flush your prayers.
Double X Quantimino
Lawnz
Choose one superpower: super strength, mind control, telekinesis, fire, ice, invisibility
Free delivery
White Van Scam in the Quantimino - Booba Gettz is spotted in Hollywood circa 1992.
“The cost of the recording session was estimated at $200, but the band didn't have any money to cover the costs. In exchange for his services, the band gave Pikus a pair of stereo speakers which they had purchased from "a dude in a van" a few months before the session.”
Calling All Casanovas & Don Juans - bok choy for some box joy
"The cultiest cult grocer in America"
This Is The Newz
Rutgers Scientists Identify Substance That May Have Sparked Life on Earth
Man sues Buffalo Wild Wings because he says their 'boneless wings' are actually chicken nuggets
Man charged for impersonating Stanwood Safeway agent, stealing $432K worth of crab
City of Newark falls for Sister City scam: "Whose job was it to do a simple Google search?"
Calculators worth over $40,000 stolen in spree of New York school burglaries
'We didn't have any failures': Omaha nonprofit hoping to relaunch 'Raw Dawgs' youth gang prevention group
A train carrying corn syrup derails in Arizona
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Tropicana’s Japanese licensee in hot juice for cartons that boast “100% Melon Taste”
“Passengers who don’t want to be groped, please use the rear train cars” announcement angers Japan
Flush your prayers down the toilet at this unique Japanese temple
After Party: Pubix and Centennial Light
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
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Burrito’s new camera, yeast, socmed feeds, tech shabbat, wife beaters, Clam City, nacho cheese, location data, size Z prosthetic breasts, Funkos, chokehold, Genshin Impact, zombie virus, fake Jordan cards, and Burrito’s Nippon Newz.
Double X Quantimino
Hypothetical Meta Analysis - Burrito is asked to do a tasteful nude photoshoot with his new camera.
"I love you too much to argue."
Yeast from there to make bread and beer
Slam Citizens' life pro tips on curating your feedz
A "tech shabbat" - Is Arthur already doing this and can you?
“What’d You Say, Delilah?” by Haynes Wife Beaterz
Clam City, OnlyClamz
Nacho cheese
Location data
This Is The Newz
Canadian teacher with size-Z prosthetic breasts, placed on paid leave
Over $30M worth of Funkos are being dumped
Norwalk math teacher accused of using chokehold on students resigns, official says
Genshin Impact Voice Actor Asks Fans To Bathe Before Attending Concert
Scientists have revived a 'zombie' virus that spent 48,500 years frozen in permafrost
82-year-old charged with sale of fake Michael Jordan cards
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Tokyo gang breaks no-weapons rule, shows up for fight with rivals carrying spiked bat
Unlicensed drunk driver involved in hit-and-run, makes pathetic attempt to avoid police
Japanese hotel gives you a beer tap in your room, 10 liters of craft beer to drink for free
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Tentative titles: “In Queso Emergency”, “Lace Your Uncle”, “What Did You Say, Delilah?”
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A $17 cookie, blink-182’s Apple Shampoo lyrics, Liver Guy, bull semen, magazine covers, feeding a family on a $3k/week salary, Roget’s Thesaurus, dental hygienists, blackout rage gallons, free lunches, Walmart versus Target, Never Have I Ever, accidental incest, a 2,000-year-old sex toy, a 1998 Ford Escort, missing biscuits, a kissing device, a giant squid statue, spreadable coffee, and more odd news stories.
Double X Quantimino
A $17 Chocolate Chip Cookie
Dude Ranch, Apple Shampoo, Dance Hall Crashers
Liver Guy Follow-up Story
Bull semen - She tells you to take a shot right before coitus.
Your fake magazine cover
Plug In & Hate - A mother of two explains how she feeds her toddlers with her $3k/week salary.
A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.
"What does that make you?"
Borgs - blackout rage gallons
Arthur the Freegan
Walmart
Never Have I Ever - Retro Edition
This Is The Newz
Australia worried 'prolific' sperm donors could lead to 'accidental incest'
This Well-Worn Wooden Object Was Unearthed In A Roman Fort — And Scientists Believe It's A 2,000-Year-Old Sex Toy
Man wins $10K lottery prize, but state instead claims he owes them money
Woman goes viral for buying a 1998 Ford Escort for $289 a month for the next 84 months
Georgia woman crashes SUV into Popeyes after her order was missing biscuits
‘They missed a whole bomb in my bag,’ woman says at FLL, landing her in jail
Spirit Airlines flight makes emergency landing after battery fire
An airline provided a single banana as the in-flight 'meal' for one vegan passenger
This Chinese kissing device lets you smooch over the internet
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Japanese town that spent 25 million yen in COVID money on giant squid statue says it paid off big
Japanese monkey-hunting team shoots woman with tranquilizer dart
Spreadable coffee to put on your toast going on sale in Japan
After Party - Dental hygienists can tell.
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
Slam City Radio 24/7 x https://slamcity.co/scr247/
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Author and comedian Jeremiah Ukponrefe visits Slam City.
Double X Quantimino
In this context, what's your definition of “anything”?: “I've been charged with 13 felonies in my life and only convicted of 5. So in my mind, I can get away with anything.” Arthur the Arbiter - Himalayan pink salt Taking surveys Metroid Prime Always Flexfoam Guestimation Unknown - Filling an Olympic swimming pool One song that you can listen to again for the first time PhubbingThis Is The Newz
Michigan teacher plants bomb threat note to get day off, police say Pizza delivery gives squirrel opportunity to invade Louisiana house Scientists Will Pay You Over $4,000 to Chug a Diarrhea Drink Drug-free relief from chronic constipation may come from a new vibrating pill 'Groundbreaking' male contraceptive pill 'disables' sperm and works in minutes Toxic fumes escape after truck overturns in Tucson, Arizona Bloomington man reportedly set own car on fire to stop people from stealing from it Cape Coral man cracks a beer open during traffic stop Man caught in stolen car while driving back to crime sceneBurrito’s Nippon Newz
Sushi chef drops knives on the train, causes panic and delays Tiny travel guides are our latest Japanese gacha capsule toy obsession Burger King Japan guarantees new chicken sandwich is bigger than your phone with weird promotionJeremiah Ukponrefe is the author of Hive, a dystopian sci-fi novel.
Get a free preview of Hive at jeremiahu.com.
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Slam City Radio 24/7
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The Burrito Bandito goes deep about DCU, hypothetically your mom on OnlyFans, how many times you can wear clothes without washing, hit and run, micro-stress, Frito pies, Newz, BNN, and the Take Notes after party.
Double X Quantimino
DC characters that The Burrito Bandito really wants to see in the DCU
Hypothetical Meta Analysis: Your mom on OnlyFans
How many times can you wear pajamas, jeans, and other clothes without washing them?
Hit and Run
Micro-stress
Are Fritos the last bag of chips?
This Is The Newz
Half a billion dollars worth of cocaine found adrift in Pacific Ocean
Altoona home invader kidnapped man, claimed ‘I’m Batman.’
Stowaway frog triggers alarm during screening at Pennsylvania airport
Couple returns home from trip to find pair impersonated them, sold house
11-year-old boy charged with sharing marijuana edibles at Georgia school
Hooters waitress shares 'adjustment trick' to get more money from 'cute guys'
Hughson Church demands answers after sewage water, cement mistakenly pumped into the property
Bolivar's new roadside attraction? Glass shop houses 11-foot, 150-pound functioning bong
Crews working to clean up bottles of Jack Daniel's after tractor-trailer crash
Zookeepers Say They’ve Solved the Mystery of How a Gibbon Got Pregnant by Herself
Burrito’s Nippon Newz
Japanese scientists succeed at causing depression in monkeys using magnetic stimulation
Rice Pizza?! Pizza Hut creates a new base for customers in Japan
Train driver’s locked tablet with forgotten password leads to big delay on Fukushima line
Deepfake Sponsors: Julio Tejas, Booba Gettz The Crazy One, Thicccum Farmz
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