Episodes
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Paris and Winter talk about the helpful things people have said and done since the death of Drexton, Paris's son who died at 6 months old due to an undiagnosed atrial septal defect (ASD).
DONATE $5 (aka "buy us a coffee/hot cocoa") to support the continued production of these stories. We appreciate all the help toward production and hosting costs.
Or if you want to purchase an "Always a Part of Us" Legacy Gift for $20, you'll be providing to one of these families that shares their story, full transcriptions, mp3s, and mp4s of the recordings of their baby's birth story and advice episodes for their family history records. You will also get a shout-out on an upcoming episode. Thank you!
Donate: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus
SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofusSUBSCRIBE to our podcast Still A Part of Us, wherever you find podcasts.
Links (some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you):
Website: http://stillapartofus.com/
Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/#stillbirthstory #stillborn #stillbornstory #birthstory #infantloss #infantdeath #babydeath #stillmychild #podcast #birthstories #babyloss #mybabydied #bereavedmother #bereavedfather #infantlossawareness #dadsgrievetoo #mamasgrief #pals #childloss #lifeafterloss #saytheirnames #babylossawareness #breakingthesilence #grievingmom #grievingdad #bereavedparents #pregnancyandinfantlossawarenessmonth
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Paris and Winter talk about the beautiful life of Drexton, who died at 6 months old due to an undiagnosed atrial septal defect (ASD). Paris tells of the relative ease of the pregnancy, and having to have an emergency cesarean and finally bringing home her little bundle of joy. Paris tells Winter about finding a nanny when she went back to work and the tragic events that lead to her rushing to the hospital and finding her son on life support. Paris mournfully retells the events of being told that Drexton has severe brain damage and her having to choose to let her son go. She talks about organizing with her hospital to have Drexton be an organ donor and the continuation of this sweet little boy in blessing others with life.
DONATE $5 (aka "buy us a coffee/hot cocoa") to support the continued production of these stories. We appreciate all the help toward production and hosting costs.
Or if you want to purchase an "Always a Part of Us" Legacy Gift for $20, you'll be providing to one of these families that shares their story, full transcriptions, mp3s, and mp4s of the recordings of their baby's birth story and advice episodes for their family history records. You will also get a shout-out on an upcoming episode. Thank you!
Donate: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofusSUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus
SUBSCRIBE to our podcast Still A Part of Us, wherever you find podcasts.
Links (some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you):
Website: http://stillapartofus.com/
Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/Mom Music: "Flickering Flame" by Josh Woodward. Free download: http://joshwoodward.com/
#stillbirthstory #stillborn #stillbornstory #birthstory #infantloss #infantdeath #babydeath #stillmychild #podcast #birthstories #babyloss #mybabydied #bereavedmother #bereavedfather #infantlossawareness #dadsgrievetoo #mamasgrief #pals #childloss #lifeafterloss #saytheirnames #babylossawareness #breakingthesilence #grievingmom #grievingdad #bereavedparents #pregnancyandinfantlossawarenessmonth
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Missing episodes?
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Elizabeth and Winter talk about what has help after the loss of Lael, who was stillborn due to a subchorionic hemorrhage at 19 weeks. Elizabeth talks about finding out about using a saline solution to preserve Lael and how that helped her and her family admire their son and brother a little longer. Elizabeth talks about how her faith has helped her put this loss into an eternal perspective and how that has helped her to mourn, but not be lost.
DONATE $5 (aka "buy us a coffee/hot cocoa") to support the continued production of these stories. We appreciate all the help toward production and hosting costs.
Or if you want to purchase an "Always a Part of Us" Legacy Gift for $20, you'll be providing to one of these families that shares their story, full transcriptions, mp3s, and mp4s of the recordings of their baby's birth story and advice episodes for their family history records. You will also get a shout-out on an upcoming episode. Thank you!
Donate: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus
SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofusSUBSCRIBE to our podcast Still A Part of Us, wherever you find podcasts.
Links (some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you):
Website: http://stillapartofus.com/
Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/
#stillbirthstory #stillborn #stillbornstory #birthstory #infantloss #infantdeath #babydeath #stillmychild #podcast #birthstories #babyloss #mybabydied #bereavedmother #bereavedfather #infantlossawareness #dadsgrievetoo #mamasgrief #pals #childloss #lifeafterloss #saytheirnames #babylossawareness #breakingthesilence #grievingmom #grievingdad #bereavedparents #pregnancyandinfantlossawarenessmonth -
Today, we’re joined by an incredible guest, Elizabeth, who has experienced unimaginable heartbreak—11 losses. Through her strength and resilience, Elizabeth is here to share her journey, offering hope and comfort to others who may be navigating a similar journey.
Elizabeth and her husband, Jacob, are parents to a big family, including six living children—all whose names begin with “L.” Elizabeth is a homeschooling mom, a church pianist, and leads a children’s music class at church. Jacob works as a truck driver and preacher, having served in ministry for over a year at the time of this recording.
In this episode, we are focusing on the story of one child in particular, Lael. Elizabeth shares the story of Lael, who was stillborn at 19 weeks due to complications with the placenta. She opens up about her journey of multiple losses before Lael, finding a compassionate OBGYN, and reflects on the day she gave birth to Lael.
Some highlights from our conversation with Elizabeth include:
Elizabeth’s gratitude for her six living children and the grief from her losses Pregnancy, early ultrasounds, and the process of navigating healthcare after multiple miscarriages The emotions around her diagnosis and her family’s response to bringing Lael home How Elizabeth leaned into her faith, trusting God’s plan, and finding strength in His presence The difficulty of grieving privately and holding space for her other childrenHearing Elizabeth’s journey is both heart-wrenching and inspiring. I hope this episode encourages you to honor your own healing process and to lean on loved ones and community for support during challenging times.
Quotes:“She said, ‘It looks like you're out of the woods,’ and I honestly believed that with all my heart––that everything had been fine, that God was just going to allow that to be a trying of faith on my part, and that was going to be all it was, and I was going to have a healthy baby, and everything was going to be fine” – Elizabeth (22:53)
“And even though the Lord was like, am I not enough, in that moment, He still was faithful to give me a verse, because in that same chapter, it says it is God that girth me with strength and make it my way perfect. And so he was just reminding me, I'm going to be your strength in this.” – Elizabeth (1:12:16)
Other Episodes You Might Appreciate:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-have-learned-how-to-notice-when-someone-is-hurting/id1473594556?i=1000675489519
Support the Show:By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.
Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus
Thank you for your support!
Subscribe:YOUTUBE:
Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus
THE PODCAST:
Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.
Links:Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/
Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.
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Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.
Melissa’s daughter, Patricia, was born 16 years ago. Tragically, due to a cord accident, Patricia did not survive. Though it’s been 16 years, Melissa continues to not only remember, but celebrate her daughter’s life.
In this episode, Melissa shares her journey of remembrance and grief and we discuss the importance of understanding that these heartbreaking situations are not your fault.
Highlights from our conversation with Melissa:
Coping with the loss of her daughter, Patricia
Her children’s connection to their sister
Helpful coping mechanisms and the importance of routine
Ways Melissa keeps Patricia’s memory alive
The different ways people experience grief
Melissa’s mental and emotional journey during subsequent pregnancies
Whether it’s been six months or 16 years since the loss of a child, grief can resurface on birthdays or even in everyday moments. You may catch yourself wondering “What would they be doing now?” or “What would they look like?” The grief is always there in some way, but hearing others’ stories can bring comfort and we hope Melissa’s story brings you that sense of understanding and connection.
Quotes:“In the moment of holding her and spending a little bit of time with her, I tried to enjoy it, and it was good–I held it together pretty well after, until that night...” – Melissa (1:48)
“I always had it in the back of my mind that, you know, something would go wrong, that it could happen again. And that was just always something that stayed with me.” – Melissa (9:12)
Other Episodes You Might Appreciate:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/she-had-a-full-head-of-dark-hair-a/id1473594556?i=1000671902845
Support the Show:By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.
Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus
Thank you for your support!
Subscribe:YOUTUBE:
Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus
THE PODCAST:
Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556
Links:Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/
Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.
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Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.
Being a young mom of two is both beautiful and challenging. But when you become pregnant and experience constant morning sickness throughout the entire pregnancy––that adds another level of difficulty.
In this episode, our guest, Melissa, shares the moments leading up to the birth of her baby girl, Patricia, who was stillborn at 36 weeks due to a pinched cord. Even though this happened over 16 years ago, Melissa’s love for Patricia has only grown, just like any mother’s love for her child.
Highlights from our conversation with Melissa:
The challenges of morning sickness
Navigating pregnancy and early appointments
The third trimester and an unusual, concerning strong kick
Time spent with Patricia after her birth
The emotional impact of funeral arrangements
Melissa’s story is a powerful reminder of love, support, and the journey of healing and this conversation truly highlights the bond between a mother and her child and the resilience that comes in the face of unimaginable loss.
Quotes:“They left me in the labor and delivery room, so it was like I was able to hear the other babies. And then that is when I, once everyone left, is when I started crying. They had to give me something to sleep because, you know, here are all the other babies, and I don’t have mine, and all I had was a stuffed animal.” – Melissa (31:07)
“Even though I know it's not my fault, you know, I would think, like, what did I do wrong?” – Melissa (31:35)
Other Episodes You Might Appreciate:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/16-years-of-remembrance-melissas-journey-with/id1473594556?i=1000672862574
Support the Show:By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.
Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus
Thank you for your support!
Subscribe:YOUTUBE:
Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus
THE PODCAST:
Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556
Links:Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/
Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.
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Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.
Nothing can prepare you for navigating life after the stillbirth of your child. My guest, Veronika, shares her experience of grieving her son, Benjamin, whose cause of death is unknown. She opens up about the comfort she found in community support, the challenges of loss, and the words that have been both helpful and hurtful along the way.
In this episode, Veronika reflects on the church’s compassion and support that surrounded her and her husband, Scott, during their grief. She also discusses what helped, what hurt, and how each of them processed their loss in unique ways.
Highlights from our conversation with Veronika:
The emotional impact of not knowing the cause of Benjamin’s passing
Why grieving a child is different from other types of loss
The importance of self-compassion and resisting self-blame
Ways Veronika and Scott supported one another
Finding comfort in hearing others’ stories of loss
Veronika’s story is a reminder of the unique ways each person grieves. Her journey sheds light on the importance of self-compassion, community, and openhearted support from loved ones. Through shared stories and compassionate listening, healing becomes possible.
Other Episodes You Might Appreciate:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-had-just-heard-his-heartbeat-a-mothers-story/id1473594556?i=1000670284332
Quotes:“There’s no exact reason why, and you kind of want to have that, because that could, I feel like, help you in a lot of ways to process and grieve. Your mind just wants to know why and what went wrong.” – Veronika (01:23)
“But when people from your church family tell you, like, ‘This was the Lord’s will,’ and ‘Everything, you know, works out,’ that’s not what you want to hear at that moment. You need to find that out for yourself, not somebody on the outside, or someone who’s never gone through it trying to encourage you.” – Veronika (22:12)
Support the Show:By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.
Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus
Thank you for your support!
Subscribe:YOUTUBE:
Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus
THE PODCAST:
Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556
Links:Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/
Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you. -
Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.
Hours after hearing her son’s strong heartbeat at a final checkup, Veronika received the devastating news that her sweet Benjamin had passed away. Looking back on her challenging pregnancy, Veronika shares the heartbreak of losing Benjamin at 40 weeks, with the cause of death unknown, and the impact it has had on her life.
In this episode, Veronika opens up about her pregnancy, finding a new OB-GYN, and hearing Benjamin’s heartbeat only to be told he had passed.
Highlights from our conversation with Veronika:
The emotional impact of the ultrasound and fears that something was wrong
The overwhelming emotions and confusion surrounding her experience
Receiving support from her church community
Challenges with funeral home arrangements
Allowing her other children to grieve and how they helped her through the loss
Veronika’s story is a reminder of the different ways each person grieves. Her story shines a light on the importance of self-compassion, community, and getting support from loved ones.
Quotes:"She said, 'Mommy, I'm very sorry Benjamin didn't get to know you. You're a great mommy, and he didn't get to know how good you are.' And that was just the absolute sweetest thing." – Veronika (17:49)
“I didn't scream or cry—I just shut down. I wanted to be left alone. I was really irritated by all the staff coming in, and, you know, you still had to deliver that baby, so you can't just get up and go home. You still have to go through all of that.” – Veronika (40:55)
Other Episodes You Might Appreciate:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/since-my-baby-passed-powerful-life-lessons-from-a/id1473594556?i=1000671153704
Support the Show:By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.
Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus
Thank you for your support!
Subscribe:YOUTUBE:
Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus
THE PODCAST:
Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556
Links:Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/
Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.
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Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.
While at least 25% of stillbirths are preventable, stillbirth is almost never linked to parental behavior. Still, parents often blame themselves, wondering, “Should I have done this?” or thinking, “I shouldn’t have done that.” It’s a natural response––it's just what humans do. But families should be reassured: stillbirth is almost never linked to the behavior of the parents.
This is why we’re so honored to interview Dr. Bob Silver and Sarah Lopez, MHA, MPH, CPH, from the University of Utah Hospital and the Stillbirth Research Program at the School of Medicine.
In this episode, we discuss the research they’re doing in stillbirth detection and prevention, as well as their efforts to set up clinics and programs nationwide to better support at-risk mothers and families.
Some highlights from our conversation with Dr. Bob Silver and Sarah Lopez:
Dr. Bob Silver’s expertise in high-risk pregnancies, stillbirth, and placental issues
Sarah Lopez’s impactful research on stillbirth
Understanding stillbirth and common misconceptions
The roles of preventability and parental blame
Global trends and ongoing challenges in stillbirth research
This is an important discussion about the realities of stillbirth and the work being done behind the scenes for families. Thank you for joining us in today’s conversation!
Quotes:“People blame themselves and they wonder, “it's because I was stressed” or “I exercised,” or “I had sex” or “I had a beer,” or “I should have done this,” or “I shouldn't have done that.” and parents should really be reassured that stillbirth is almost never caused by any behavior––or failure of behavior––on the part of the parents.” – Dr. Bob Silver (6:35)
“I think dads get a little overlooked. Unfortunately, while we're focusing on mom’s physical health and well-being, dad is sometimes the silent, strong one, trying to keep it together for mom, so making sure that they have resources, too, is really helpful.” – Sarah Lopez (44:34)
Support the Show:By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.
Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus
Thank you for your support!
Subscribe:YOUTUBE:
Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus
THE PODCAST:
Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556
Links:Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/
Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.
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Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.
They say time heals all wounds, and for today’s guest, Scott, that’s been true. Although everyone’s journey through grief is different, as time passes, the process of healing can start.
In this episode, Scott shares the story of losing his son, Benjamin, due to a single umbilical artery. Scott talks with Lee about how he and his family found support from a local pastor even though they weren’t from the area. He also opens up about the challenges that grief can bring to a marriage and the importance of leaning on each one another.
Some highlights from our conversation with Scott:
Support from the church––receiving meals and prayers
How grief impacts marriages and why leaning on each other is key
Grief is both a personal and shared journey
Coping mechanisms and healing
A call for men to speak openly about their feelings
While grief is personal, Scott highlights how it is also a shared human experience and we don’t have to compare our pain to anyone else’s. Grief may feel isolating at times, but with support and time, wounds do heal.
Quotes:“What I realized in the moment since then is that I have to think about it in small pockets, you know? If I want to think about my son, I know that it's going to set the tone for the rest of the day.” — Scott (07:54)
“Men like to bottle things up. And, you know, I had heard that there were some who had turned to suicide, which is unfortunate. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem." — Scott (10:40)
Other Episodes You Might Appreciate:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/we-were-excited-to-meet-you-a-fathers-stillbirth-story/id1473594556?i=1000667944403
Support the Show:By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.
Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus
Thank you for your support!
Subscribe:YOUTUBE:
Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus
THE PODCAST:
Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556
Links:Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/
Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.
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Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.
There's not only heartbreak, but resilience that comes with the loss of a child. Our guest, Scott, shares about the devastating loss of his beautiful son, Benjamin, at 40 weeks and how this has reshaped his life and strengthened his bond with his family.
In today’s episode, Scott and Lee talk about the heartbreaking moment when Scott and his wife, Veronika, discovered Benjamin had only one umbilical artery, sparking fears around the diagnosis. Scott dives into the painful experience of going to the hospital after noticing a lack of movement from Benjamin, only to hear the words no parent wants to hear: “He has no heartbeat.”
Highlights from our conversation with Scott:
The events leading up to Benjamin’s birth
Scott’s struggle to process his emotions
Arranging Benjamin’s cremation and saying goodbye
Explaining Benjamin’s passing to his two young children
The role grief support groups played in helping him process his feelings and find community
Though the pain of Benjamin’s loss remains, Scott has so much gratitude for the growth and resilience he has gained. He now approaches life with a renewed sense of purpose and awareness of what truly matters—all while carrying Benjamin’s memory.
Quotes:‘There are problems and solutions, and you want to try to figure out how to handle this. And I didn't know what to do in that situation. It is very confusing. It's, it's frightening, it's, it's scary, it's heartbreaking––all at the same time.” – Scott (27:22)
“As men, we tend to bottle things up more and we try to figure out how to handle it ourselves, but it did help to kind of hear some techniques and things to work on.” – Scott (49:05)
Other Episodes You Might Appreciate:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/i-had-become-a-true-partner-with-my-wife-after-his/id1473594556?i=1000668757783
Support the Show:By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.
Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus
Thank you for your support!
Subscribe:YOUTUBE:
Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus
THE PODCAST:
Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556
Links:Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/
Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.
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Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.
In this episode, Winter and Lee reflect on how they navigate the grief and loss of their sweet baby boy, Brannan. They share an update on their healing journey, how they honored Brannan’s sixth birthday, and discuss how they continue to heal while keeping his memory alive.
Lee also reads an essay he wrote about the forces that turn dangerous broken glass into something beautiful.
Some highlights from this episode with Winter and Lee:
Celebrating Brannan’s sixth birthday
Reflecting on the different phases of grief
Comparing grief to sea glass and the beauty that can come from pain
Finding solace in remembering their sweet baby boy on his birthday
How honoring their baby boy brings peace and a deeper sense of family
While the reminder of the loss of a child can be painful, it’s possible to find comfort in celebrating their life. How do you remember your child on their birthday? We’d love to hear your stories.
Quotes:“It was nice and we didn't go over the top. [And nobody] I don't think we felt like we were guilting anybody to celebrate with us. And it was very well incorporated into what a birthday for a six year old would be like in our family.” – Lee and Winter (2:02)
“This year was my son Brannan’s sixth birthday, and maybe for the first time, it was a very peaceful, calm day for me. It wasn't filled with hectic scheduling, trying to figure out how to get fundraising, or do service projects. It was a day of remembrance and a day of family.” – Lee (8:21)
Support the Show:By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.
Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus
Thank you for your support!
Subscribe:YOUTUBE:
Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus
THE PODCAST:
Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556
Links:Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/
Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.
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Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.
After a decade has passed, the pain of losing a child never fades. Today’s guest, Jennifer, shares the challenges she’s faced since that routine checkup when she discovered her son, Nicholas, no longer had a heartbeat.
In this episode, Jennifer and Winter talk about the years following Nicholas’s passing, the sweet help she received from her family (especially from the family dog), and the meaningful ways she remembers her son to build a legacy for him.
Some highlights from this episode with Jennifer:
The importance of emotional support that doesn’t try to “fix” grief
The struggle of packing away Nicholas’s belongings after his passing
Dealing with insensitive comments and advice from others
Emotions that come up on Father’s Day
Finding solace in honoring Nicholas’s legacy
Jennifer’s story is one of strength. Through honoring Nicholas’s memory, she has been able to find both comfort and purpose. How do you keep the memory of your little one alive?
Quotes:“I know he's in the best place he can be. But like, in my mom-heart, like, he needs to be here with his mom.” – Jennifer (13:39)
“My amazing maternal fetal medicine doctor, when I was getting moved to the rooms, gave me a hug. And she said, ‘You'll never get over this, but you will get through this’ and that stuck with me every day.” – Jennifer (20:46)
Other Episodes You Might Appreciate:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/telling-his-story-after-11-years-a-mothers-stillbirth-story/id1473594556?i=1000662864599
Support the Show:By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.
Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus
Thank you for your support!
Subscribe:YOUTUBE:
Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus
THE PODCAST:
Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556
Links:Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/
Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.
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Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.
Little baby Nicholas was diagnosed with multicystic dysplastic kidney syndrome after an anatomy scan. Doctors advised that they would just keep an eye on it, assuring Jennifer that he should be a normal functioning baby. Tragically, Nicholas had blood clots in his umbilical cord and was stillborn at 33 weeks.
In this episode, Jennifer shares her journey, including her move to Florida, discovering she was pregnant, and finding new care for herself and her baby. She talks about choosing the name Nicholas after learning she was pregnant in December. Jennifer also reflects on the heartbreaking moment when she was told that her son no longer had a heartbeat.
Some highlights from this episode with Jennifer:
A difficult delivery experience and the trauma following her baby's death
Confusion and frustration with medical staff during a stressful hospital visit
Memories of Nicholas, including a memory box given to them at the hospital
Events during the funeral planning and service and dealing with the loss of a child due to
Losing Nicholas at birth due to an umbilical cord complication
While the pain of losing Nicholas may never fade, Jennifer continues to honor his memory in meaningful ways, finding healing and purpose along the journey.
Quotes:“My baby shower was supposed to be the weekend that he passed away. So that was kind of hard to call people and say, ‘Hey, you know, please don't show up at my house.’” – Jennifer (16:34)
“I cremated him because I wanted him to come home in some sense.” – Jennifer (48:34)
Other Episodes You Might Appreciate:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/ive-learned-how-to-be-fine-after-11-years-advice-from/id1473594556?i=1000663560485
Support the Show:By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.
Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus
Thank you for your support!
Subscribe:YOUTUBE:
Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus
THE PODCAST:
Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556
Links:Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/
Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.
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Stacy’s sweet little son, Carson, was stillborn at 34 weeks due to unknown reasons. Stacy opens up about the support that helped her navigate her grief and shares advice for others who are experiencing similar pain.
In this episode, Stacy talks with Winter about the support that helped her after the stillbirth of Carson. Stacy also talks about her wonderful family and friends that reached out and helped, as well as the great support group that she has been able to be involved with.
Highlights from this episode with Stacy:
The challenges of finding support and managing grief after a stillbirth
Accepting different grieving styles
Finding joy in memories of her son, Carson
Navigating well-meaning, but sometimes unhelpful, comments
The importance of open communication permission to talk about your baby
Stacy also shares a deeply emotional letter to Carson, honoring his memory and the impact he continues to have on her life. Stacy’s story is a powerful reminder of the importance of community, communication, and allowing oneself the grace to grieve and heal.
Quotes:“I think we just started grieving differently as the months went on and I had to learn to, you know, not judge his grief based on my grief.” – Stacy (9:47)
“And I think as time goes on, there's days that I'm sad, there's days that I'm okay, but it's nice that, you know––I'm probably never going to be the same as I was, but at least I can find joy in life still.” – Stacy (13:13)
Other Episodes You Might Appreciate:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/he-was-such-a-smiley-baby-a-stillbirth-mothers-story/id1473594556?i=1000661421771
Support the Show:By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.
Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus
Thank you for your support!
Subscribe:YOUTUBE:
Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus
THE PODCAST:
Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556
Links:Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/
Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.
-
Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.
Stacy’s conversation with Winter is a powerful one. She opens up about how she found comfort during the most heartbreaking time of her life––the loss of her son, Carson, who was stillborn at 34 weeks due to unknown reasons.
In this episode, Stacy and Winter talk about getting 4D and 3D ultrasounds and seeing Carson’s smiley face and happy demeanor. Stacy talks about being pregnant with baby Carson and what led to going into the hospital to check on him.
Some highlights from this episode with Stacy include:
Pregnancy after miscarriage, early ultrasounds, and OBGYN appointments
Regret around not tracking baby's movements and the importance of counting kicks
Her decision not to undergo an autopsy
The difficult moment of handing over their stillborn baby to funeral home staff
Finding a special spot for Carson in the cemetery and feeling comforted by the presence of other children buried nearby
Stacy’s story is a reminder of the importance of cherishing every moment and fidning healing through connection and reflection, even in the face of unimaginable loss.
Quotes:“I wanted to be alone––so that's just what I preferred. I sat in that room. I remember there was a clock right in front of me and I just was watching it tick. I felt like I was just having a bad dream or something.” – Stacy (29:12)
“But it was like I was holding a baby. like, because I was just––he just wasn't crying. He wasn't breathing, but he was there. And that moment will forever be so special because, again, it was peaceful. It was sad, but he was perfect.” – Stacy (46:28)
Other Episodes You Might Appreciate:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/he-was-such-a-smiley-baby-a-stillbirth-mothers-story/id1473594556?i=1000661421771
Support the Show:By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.
Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus
Thank you for your support!
Subscribe:YOUTUBE:
Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus
THE PODCAST:
Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556
Links:Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/
Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.
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Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.
Today’s guest, Claire, shares her experience of losing her daughter, Paulie, during childbirth due to shoulder dystocia. She opens up about how she found ways to navigate her grief.
In this episode, Claire talks with Winter about the journey she's faced since the tragic loss of her daughter, Paulie. She reflects on the comfort of a meal train organized by supportive friends, which took the burden of cooking off her family’s shoulders. Claire also discusses her return to work as a step toward finding a sense of normalcy and as a way to help distract herself from the immense pain.
Some highlights from this episode with Claire:
Claire shares Paulie’s birth story, including the tragic accident during delivery
The physical and emotional toll of losing her daughter
Returning to work as a way to ease back into everyday life
How staying active supported her emotional and mental healing
The importance of acknowledging grief and practical ways to support someone after a loss
Claire’s story is a reminder of the power of community, the importance of recognizing grief, and the small, meaningful steps toward healing after loss.
Quotes:“The day before the funeral I had went for an ultrasound early in the morning because I had an infection in the uterus–it really felt like the world is kicking you when I was down. That's really what it felt like.” – Claire (13:31)
“I definitely think to ignore and talk about other things is worse for me than bringing it up and saying––not, ‘are you okay?’ But like, you know, really saying like, ‘I loved your pregnant belly,’ like, ‘I wish Paulie was here with us. I wish she was able to experience how amazing you are’ or whatever.” – Claire (26:28)
Other Episodes You Might Appreciate:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/one-moment-we-were-so-happy-and-then-it-all-changed/id1473594556?i=1000659933271
Support the Show:By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.
Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus
Thank you for your support!
Subscribe:YOUTUBE:
Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus
THE PODCAST:
Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556
Links:Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/
Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.
-
Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.
While pregnancy is often filled with joy and anticipation, sometimes things take a devastating turn that no one should ever have to face. In this episode, Claire shares the story of her sweet daughter, Paulie, who was born at 41 weeks but tragically passed away during the birthing process.
Claire talks about the early stages of labor at the birthing center, where everything seemed to be going smoothly, until complications when Paulie became stuck in the birth canal and needed to be rushed to the hospital.
Some highlights from this episode with Claire:
Getting pregnant, a previous miscarriage, and its emotional toll
A positive pregnancy experience and enjoying the journey
An emergency c-section and the medical team's efforts to save Paulie
The grief of losing Paulie and the support Claire received from loved ones
The importance of getting photographs taken by the hospital’s photography team
We hope this episode helps you find gratitude for the brief, but precious, time spent with your little ones who have passed. We also hope you can find comfort in those cherished memories, despite the heartache.
Quotes:“I was, like, getting ready to cry and feel all the feelings. The head was out and immediately the midwife looked panicked and said, ‘call the ambulance right now.’” – Claire (52:23)
“It was just not the way we had planned 12 minutes ago––not what we thought was going to happen 12 minutes ago, as we were literally laughing. To go from that to, like, a huge tragedy was just horrible.” – Claire (1:08:25)
Other Episodes You Might Appreciate:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/what-can-i-do-to-help-a-mother-after-their-child/id1473594556?i=1000660674141
Support the Show:By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.
Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus
Thank you for your support!
Subscribe:YOUTUBE:
Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus
THE PODCAST:
Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556
Links:Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/
Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.
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Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.
Seeking out community support and recognizing that grief is a normal, ongoing process are key steps in healing.
In this episode, Ari opens up to Winter about the loss of her sweet baby boy, Kai, who was stillborn at 30 weeks. They discuss the importance of finding community and seeking professional help when needed. Ari looks back on the support she received from family and friends who all played a crucial role in her healing journey.
Some highlights from our conversation with Ari include:
Attending support groups and therapy for emotional healing
Remembering to take breaks from sadness and rediscovering yourself outside of parenthood
The experience of pregnancy and anxiety after the loss of a child
Sharing memories of her son Kai with loved ones
Finding comfort in acknowledging her grief
We hope this episode brings comfort and serves as a reminder that seeking joy and taking time for yourself are crucial steps in the healing process.
Quotes:“And so being pregnant after losing Kai was hard, I lost a lot of that kind of joy. Because I knew very well, like, the statistics of baby loss and had experienced it myself. So at every turn I was just constantly worried and had come prepared for every like appointment with lots of questions.’” – Ari (13:51)
“It's really, really heavy in the beginning––it's incredibly heavy, and it will continue to be on certain days. But I think over time, generally speaking, like, although the grief stays with me, you just kind of wear it differently. It's a little bit lighter, it's a little bit easier to carry. And, yeah, you're not alone, so seek out community.” – Ari (26:09)
Other Episodes You Might Appreciate:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/he-was-born-in-the-golden-hour-a-mothers-stillbirth-story/id1473594556?i=1000658305902
Support the Show:By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.
Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus
Thank you for your support!
Subscribe:YOUTUBE:
Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus
THE PODCAST:
Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556
Links:Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/
Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.
-
Trigger Warning: This episode discusses infant loss, including miscarriage and stillbirth. Please listen with care.
After struggling with infertility for 18 months and finally conceiving naturally, Ari talks about the "sweet and tender moment" of their first prenatal appointment. Everything seemed to be progressing well until sadly, their son, Kai, was stillborn at 30 weeks.
In this episode, Ari and Winter reflect on the process of grief, the support from loved ones, and how Ari navigated their heartbreaking loss.
Some highlights from our conversation with Ari include:
The emotional experience of delivering Kai naturally and trying to remain present during a tragic moment
Cherishing the moments spent with Kai after his death
The gentle guidance provided by supportive professionals and a social worker during a difficult time
The grieving process and how to cope with such a profound loss
Exploring options for post-mortem care, including cremation and burial
Ari’s journey through the loss of her son, Kai, is a powerful reminder of the importance of honoring the memory of our loved ones. We hope this episode offers comfort and guidance as you navigate life after loss, find support, and take the time to grieve, heal, and cherish the moments we have.
Quotes:“My heart just sunk. And it was just like, such disbelief. And immediately I was just beating myself up for not having gone in earlier and just flooded with questions of like, ‘How long ago did he pass?’ And then also, just feeling like, you have disbelief that like, no, like, this can't be real.” – Ari (47:44)
“Regardless of, you know, the outcome of this pregnancy and this baby's death, like, he’s a part of our family––we're always gonna love him.’” – Ari (1:06:35)
Other Episodes You Might Appreciate:https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/how-finding-community-helped-me-heal-in-my-grief-advice/id1473594556?i=1000659149776
Support the Show:By donating $5 or $10, you'll be supporting the ongoing production of these stories. We appreciate your help toward production and hosting costs.
Donate here: https://ko-fi.com/stillapartofus
Thank you for your support!
Subscribe:YOUTUBE:
Please subscribe to our YouTube channel for more birth stories from families who have experienced a stillbirth or infant loss. We're grateful that you're part of our community! https://www.youtube.com/stillapartofus
THE PODCAST:
Please subscribe to Still A Part of Us wherever you find podcasts.
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/still-a-part-of-us-a-podcast-about/id1473594556
Links:Grief Support Groups: https://nationalshare.org/
Some of these links are affiliate links, which means we may get a small commission off your purchase, at no extra cost to you.
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