Episodes
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Hail and well met, book friends! We're feeling pretty silly as we close in on the final episodes of Season 9. We travel back to 10th century Bohemia to learn the story behind the popular Christmas carol "Good King Wenceslas". Join us for a very biblically-styled tale that taught us some things but failed to get us invested in the characters.
The author emailed us about his book and, usually when we get emails from authors or PR reps, it's not even worth consideration - but a medieval historical thriller? about a Christmas carol? In this century at this point in history? At this time of year? It only made sense to pop it onto the schedule for December.
Thanks to George himself for furnishing us with a free review copy of the book (and being willing to be featured on TBC with all that may entail)!
Musings and derailments include: Duke Abe Simpsovclav of Springfieldia, heavy metal months, Breastfeeding education, Paris’s Babadook terrors, and we struggle to poorly sing another song from the book (the titular carol)!
In addition to our usual barnyard language, today’s episode includes discussion or mention of parental abuse, sexual assault, and murder.
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Chris found The Wife App by Carolyn Mackler out in the wild at a bookstore in NH when he was on a trip earlier this year. Considering apps themselves are often terrible, a book about an app seemed like a good candidate for the show.
Musings and derailments include: Chris gets really upset about the recurring stereotype of shitty musician boyfriends/husbands and we wonder about several things in the text such as British chins, sending cookies in Ubers, the power of polka dots, and babies smelling like fresh bread.
In addition to our usual barnyard language, today’s episode includes discussion or mention of infidelity, closeting, and the horrors of capitalism in app form.
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Missing episodes?
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This week we're discussing our experience reading Verity by Colleen Hoover. We selected this for today’s episode because it has appeared fairly often in reddit posts regarding bad books. Plus, we like to try to touch on current, popular authors when we can amidst the sea of deep weird terrible books we cover throughout the year.
Off-topic musings and derailments include: Paris Uses Maps About It™, the truth of our Dark Lord Mr. Peanut, and we struggle to solve this GRE murder problem.
In addition to our usual barnyard language, today’s episode includes discussion or mention of ableism and disability prejudice, abortion, child abuse, child death, murder, parental neglect, and sex.
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We've released this as an alternate episode if today's regular episode is a bit too much for you on this particular day. Please enjoy the audio from a Patron-only video special from 2021 where Paris and The Mothman (Antiques Freaks Ken) play a guessing game that Chris created. You can find the original video version here if you'd like to see us in all of our three-years-ago-physical-glory.
We know you love the games we come up with sometimes here at TBC, so Chris has challenged Team MothParis to a game where they must choose which bands are real or from rock band romance novels and which musician names Chris made up.
Musings and derailments include: We learn that Terriblo's 2nd in command is The Mothman, Paris realizes she's been lied to by the anti-cryptid media, we sail away on the Nick Crandle Ferry, and are reminded of the horrors of the English language.
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*The US general election is TODAY! Get out there and vote in person if you haven’t yet voted early or by mail. Head to vote.org for all the information you need to help you cast your ballot.*
We've released an alternate episode for you if today's regular episode is a bit too much to listen to on this particular day. Please enjoy the Patron-only video special from 2021 where Paris and The Mothman (Antiques Freaks Ken) play a romance novel guessing game that Chris created. You can find the audio-only version in our regular feed in your podcast app.
Musings and derailments in this episode include: jihadi dentists, Mt. Rushmore vs. the Grand Canyon, 100% Grade A Real Shadow Wolves, Shadow Dick Wolf, Degrees of Bubbas, how many men could a lawman law if a lawman could law men?
Referenced in this episode:
Steven Seagal - WikipediaBehind the Bastards did 3 whole episodes on Steven Seagal, one of which is also a review of this book, so if you really want to get pumped full of more 90s action hero history, you can check those out:
Part One: Steven Seagal Is So Much Worse Than You'd Ever Imagine
Part Two: Steven Seagal Is So Much Worse Than You'd Ever Imagine
Steven Seagal Wrote a Book (We Read It)
Joe Arpaio - WikipediaTom Morrissey
ICE Shadow Wolves
Did 800 terrorists come over the Mexican border into the US in 2024?
The Dark History Of The Texas Rangers (36 minute listen)
In addition to our usual barnyard language, today’s episode discusses or mentions: right-wing talking points (e.g. open borders/immigration, drug cartel violence, etc.), law enforcement worship, some magical native vibes, and a guest appearance from the R-slur.
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This was recommended eons ago in the age of 2021 by Twitter user KirliaHookah who described this book as, “Hey what if we crossed Sabrina the Teenage Witch with Mean Girls poorly?" which turned out to be perfectly accurate.
Musings and derailments in this episode include: Chris's DeathNote powers, George Michael Clooney, the Dance of Tables, the limits of school guidance counselors, Chris's criminal past, and we play a magic word guessing game.
In addition to our barnyard langauge, today's episode includes discussion or mention of bullying.
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Happy Octoberween, dear listeners! In honor of the season, we bring you some spook-adjacent books for October's episodes. Today, our favorite guest Mary Parker is back with the sequel to The Phantom of the Opera musical - in book form! Although it was also turned into a musical, but remember this book is not the sequel to the original Phantom of the Opera book by Gaston Leroux...yeah.
Musings and derailments in this episode include: the morning routine underneath the Opera Populaire, Paris transforms into Girl Boss Mammon, Mary becomes a Valley Girl Priest, and Chris plays God.
In addition to our usual barnyard language, today’s episode includes discussion or mention of ableism, accidents leading to physical disfigurement, guns, murder, and suicide.
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Julius the Nice Dragon offered us a true Patron's Choice: Return to The Dunks or choose a new path. We still had plenty of iced coffees to trade, so we made the only choice we could as Bostonians.
We rarely recommend prerequisites for episodes, but we think you should check out our review of the first book in this series before listening to today's episode because a) it's a good episode and b) we'll address elements of the series in that episode that we skipped today: Episode 165 - First, Impressions (Book #1 of Last Intentions) by SJ Saunders Patron’s Choice
Musings and derailments in this episode include: Boston, the MBTA, Mass Metal Gear Solid, store brand names, and a brief glimpse into Fourth Wing horrors (this was recorded much earlier this year and was perhaps where Chris got his idea to surprise Paris on the 200th episode).
*Local primaries and the general election are both coming up fast! Head to vote.org to check your voter registration, register to vote, preview your next ballot, or request a mail-in or absentee ballot.*
Referenced in this episode:
Weird Studies - Visions of the Wasteland: On George Miller's 'Mad Max' Films: On the post-apocalyptic sci-fi glory of the Mad Max franchise Folding Ideas - Contrepreneurs: The Mikkelsen Twins: Another fantastic Dan Olson piece on a book publishing MLM/pyramid scheme/scamIn addition to our usual barnyard language, today’s episode discusses body horror, action-movie violence, suicide, guns/weapons, and medical experimentation like cloning, mind control, and genetic alteration.
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Chris read Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yaros on his own and retold the plot to Paris on this very special Twitch livestream to celebrate 200 episodes of Terrible Book Club. Afterwards, we bestow honors on the last 100 books over 11 categories in the 2nd edition of Terriblo's Choice Awards. Watch the video version of this episode for free on our Patreon!
*The general election is coming up fast! Head to vote.org to check your voter registration, register to vote, preview your next ballot, or request a mail-in or absentee ballot.*
(1:58:47) The 2nd Quadrennial Terriblo's Choice Awards - Episodes 101-199:
Biggest Surprise: The Golden Basement Most Unholy Abomination: Splattering Yet Endearing Most Toxic Message: The 1776 Report The ExcavatingLizard My Immortal Award for Worst Editing/or Proofreading: Tied! Interview with the Devil (Part I - Victor's Account) Millenium University Most Likely to Become an Off-Broadway Musical: Drag Queen Dino Fighters Most Disappointing Character Arc: Things in Jars Mary Sue Award: The Man Without Qualities Pepe LePew Needless Romance Award: E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial in His Adventure on Earth James Randi Award for Worst Non-Fiction General: Feeding the Dragon Health & Woo-Woo Wellness: Genesis Diet Best Romance: in a Drama: Valentine's Day For Baby Zeke in a Comedy: The Hog Worst Book from Ep. 101-199: Reaper's Creek by OnisionIn addition to our usual barnyard language, this episode includes references to sex, murder, violence, weapons, and poisoning.
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We finally got around to checking out this 2023 BookTok phenomenon thanks to our Patron Austin, who described Legends & Lattes as, "a cozy and wholesome story about overcoming your past and settling down to...side with the mob threatening to burn down your establishment.”
Despite the nerdy theme, the focus today is more on the cozy than the fantastical. Our poisoned expectations are completely subverted and we've rarely been so delighted. In addition to our usual barnyard language, we warn you that this discussion will make you think about how you could really go for one of those right now.
Musings and derailments in this episode include: Dunkin’ Orcnuts, Squirrel alarms, language failures, Fren-talian gnomes, the extended Mr. Rat family, and our jubilance over not having to read pornography becomes mildly pornographic in our delirium.
*Local primaries and the general election are both coming up fast! Head to vote.org to check your voter registration, register to vote, preview your next ballot, or request a mail-in or absentee ballot.*
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This time, we read stuff NOT for TBC, listened to music, watched TV and movies, and played video games! After a failed guest episode, we had to fill the schedule so we decided to do another recap of the non-TBC books, music, and video games we've enjoyed so far this year like we did at the end of last year.
If this is your first time listening to this show, maybe choose another episode because today we’re talking about our personal media consumption so far in 2024, so you’ll (mostly) hear about things we actually liked for once.
Musings and derailments in this episode include: our love for the Hendrick’s seasonal collection and the Polar Summer Seasonal 2024 flavor line-up; can sexy clowns enter into the Clown Registry? the best and only use for AI; heavy metal doctors; sneaking Andrew Tate into trad metal playlists on YouTube; and Skibidi Toilet Trees.
*Local primaries and the general election are both coming up fast! Head to vote.org to check your voter registration, register to vote, preview your next ballot, or request a mail-in or absentee ballot.*
Books (3:35):
Piranesi by Susanna Clarke
Grave Goods & A Murderous Procession from The Mistress of the Art of Death series by Ariana Franklin
What My Bones Know by Samantha Foo
Dungeon Crawler Carl series by Matt Dinneman
Shadow and Claw by Gene Wolfe
The Serpent’s Tale by Ariana FranklinThe Deep by Daveed Diggs, Rivers Solomon, and William Hutson
Egg: A Dozen Ovatures by Lizzie Stark
Things You May Find Hidden in My Ear by Mosab Abu Toha
A Fool and His Money by Anne Wroe
Drinking Coffee Elsewhere by ZZ Packer
The Meursault Investigation by Kamel Daoud
Music (48:40):
Heavy Music:
Ulcerate - Cutting The Throat Of God
Vitriol - Suffer And Become
Aborted - Vault Of Horrors
Wormed - Omegon
Entheos - “All for Nothing”
Gaerea
Vulvodynia
Wormhole
Smothered Sun
Pathogenic
Cognitive
Ice Giant
Leylines
Crypt Sermon - The Stygian Rose
Savage Oath - Divine Battle
Writhen Hilt - Ancient Sword Cult
RHÛN - Conveyance in Death
Hulder - Verses in Oath
Houle - Ciel Cendre et Misère Noire
Myth Carver - “Crimson Terrain” & “King of the Pyre”
Triumpher - Storming the Walls
Demon Chrome - Hung, Drawn, and Quartered
The Watcher - Your Turn to Die
Electronic, Pop, & Other:
Emil RottmayeroDDling
Hotel Pools
A.L.I.S.O.N.
Jim Kirkwood
Maggie Rogers
Sabrina Carpenter
Obscurest Vinyl - “I Glued My Balls To My Butthole Again” & “You Look Like You Could Use a Fuckin’ Lamp”
Vivid Bloom - Out of Focus
Glass Beams - Mahal
Movies/TV (1:29:40):
House of the Dragon, Delicious in Dungeon, Fallout, The Boys, Great Pottery Throwdown, The Acolyte, Fargo, Blue Eye Samurai, Dune Part Two, Mad Max: Furiosa, Late Night with the Devil
Video Games (1:59:50):
Final Fantasy VII Rebirth, Elden Ring: Shadow of the Erdtree DLC, Gobsmacked
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A fateful tweet last summer by the author themselves brought this book into our terrible orbit. At first glance, it looked like a short read by someone with expertise in the field they were writing about, so we figured why not? We've never done a travel book on the show! Little did we know: our passports were about to be stamped for a journey on a AI-fueled train to capitalist hell.
Today's episode includes our usual barnyard language and some references to colonialism and sex.
Please Note: Chris accidentally mispronounced Cristiano Rinaldo's first name as Christian throughout the entire episode. Whoops!
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This week we discuss Home Grown Worries by Alex Donahue. We reviewed Alex’s other book, Leon & Chris, back in Episode 114 in 2022; he’s hoping that this is an improvement on that one as this is its spiritual successor. In turn, this episode is our spiritual successor to Episode 114.
Once again, Donahue's book has great art for kids and it seems like he actually took some of our advice from last time; gone are nearly all of the mechanical writing errors and tedium! While we didn't feel the core story was very captivating, we're impressed with Donahue's masochism. Never have we had an author ask us to review their work - and go through with it - twice. If anything, this is a sign that he has the fortitude to keep refining his work and succeed as an author.
Musings and derailments in this episode include: the bounds of furry art, Castlevania, and singing the fake song in the book.
In addition to our usual barnyard language, today’s episode discusses violence and bullying between adolescents.
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You may not think you know Mazes & Monsters by Rona Jaffe, but you certainly know its 1982 movie adaptation starring Tom Hanks in his first leading role (which you can watch along with us on our Patreon). We wondered if anyone would ever request this book and that day has finally come thanks to our patron Lucek. Thanks for all of your support, Lucek (and for being patient with us when we had to ask you for a second and third choice this year due to some unfortunately timed crossover in our patron requests)!
Today's episode is all about D&D and LARPing, plus we wonder about what makes a sexy mouth, rules in 70s dorms, who exactly is named 'Hall', and why we need to know this much about everyone's parents. Despite some real truths and emotional realism in some respects, this story is far too steeped in Satanic Panic nonsense. It's also hard to forget that this book trafficked in sensationalism and profitted off of James Dallas Egbert, III's brief disappearance in 1979 and his eventual tragic death in 1980.
Musings and derailments in this episode include: D&Tea and the potency of Many World's Tavern Chamomile, and our personal music and video game updates:
Play Gobsmacked! Listen to Blood for the King and Divine Battle from Savage Oath's Divine Battle Listen to Down in the Hollow from Crypt Sermon's The Stygian RoseRemember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier.
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Our patron Arrant has requested another non-fiction gem for their Patron's Choice episode this year. In How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life, Dilbert-creator Scott Adams weaves together the strands of memoir and self-help and fills any extra space in this book basket with glue made of lies (seriously, he opens the book by telling you not to trust him) and a stunning lack of self-awareness. As always, capitalism is the ever-present ghoul, Paris is pissed at Jesus (moreso than usual), and together we learn that the real way to fail at everything is, perhaps, by going on unabashed racist tirades and doubling down rather than engaging in any self-reflection.
We hope you enjoy the episode, Arrant, and thank you for your longtime, faithful support of the show!
Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier.
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Our patron Of The Void (The Taco Eating Unicorn of the Hot Springs) requested yet another Yahtzee Croshaw book in the hopes that we would enjoy it more than Jam, their Patron's Choice from last year. In that sense, this episode is a spiritual successor to Episode 177 where we return to Yahtzeeworld, but feel like we landed on a different continent this time. We're steeped in video game/MMORPG and fantasy tropes today, Chris is ashamed of his newfound addiction to Dungeon Crawler Carl, and Paris is alarmed that she is perhaps too good at voicing a sleazy character.
We hope you enjoy the episode, Mr. Taco Eating Unicorn of the Void and the Hot Springs, and thank you so much for your unrelenting support of the show!
Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier.
Good book alert: This is your semi-annual reminder that if you haven't read the Mistress of the Art of Death book quintet by Arianna Franklin, get to it! We've mentioned the series many times but have both finally dived back in to finish out the other 4 books recently and can't help but remind ya'll to give it a try.
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It's time for the ultimate 1990s crossover - X-Men and Star Trek, united at last! We discuss our experience reading 1998's Planet X by Michael Jan Friedman, as per the request of our Patron Fred. For once, we actually want more romance between two characters and just want there to be some stakes in a story, but I guess that's hard when you're working with popular intellectual property. Paris & Chris swap personalities, we remember Orbitz, and Paris Does Math About It™.
We hope you enjoy the episode, Fred, and thank you so much for supporting the show!
Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier.
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Our Patron Robin requested that we read and discuss VenCo for today's episode. Although they did not request the Antiques Freaks to be here, we felt we needed their support (and knowledge of antique spoons). Thanks so much for your longtime patronage, Robin, and we hope you enjoy our unhinged review with surprise guests!
Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier.
Although this one wasn't to our taste, we encourage you to check out other books and stories by Cherie Dimaline (https://www.cheriedimaline.com/books) and to support indigenous and marginalized authors and creators generally!
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Our Patron BeastwiththeLeast requested that we read Rena Vale's Taurus Four from 1970. How could such a dusty, seemingly insignificant sci-fi paperback have roused so much ire? Get your spacesuits on for a journey through misogyny, weed fear-mongering, and communist hysteria on planets near and far!
Thanks so much for your support, BeastwiththeLeast, and we hope you enjoy the episode.
Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier.
References:
Thanks be to the gods of academia (and Mr. Deutsch) for preserving this thesis for us to use for background on the show today: Against the red tide: Rena M. Vale and the long red scare in California by Christopher Robert Deutsch
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Today's episode features a book that many folks have asked us to read, but it took our brave Patron Miles to finally force us to do it. At last, we've read the famous satirical Obama/Biden crime thriller from 2018 and, honestly, it could've been a lot worse.
Thanks so much for your support, Miles, and we hope you like the episode!
Remember that if you, too, would like to have us read and review a book of your choice on the show, you can gain that power by joining our Patreon at the appropriate tier.
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