Episodes
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Considering the theme, vulnerability - my journey towards connecting with myself, David Taylor-Klaus or DTK thinks out loud, “What if you started off with, what will this look like when it's easy? What a different mindset, what is a different way to look at it? Imagine how this invites possibility by envisioning? Vulnerability shows up when I bombed that one, I learned one way not to do it, considered what if I try that? If you believe that you can, you have a much better chance of being able to. If you believe you can't, you're right”.
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“Excavating Memories, archaeology and home, touches on how we construct identity through things we keep by choice and by accident”, says Elizabeth Mosier. Crucially it spotlights how we construct identity and express what we value through the things we keep by choice or by accident. True treasure isn't the object It’s the stories the object tells, the information about people and the relationships. Often the stories sitting in the margins speak about the people who don't have a voice, who don't own property and who are not in the public records.
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Debra Allcock Tyler’s dream for the future involves people being a bit more thoughtful and intentional. “It's not that we have to agree with each other. It's about the way we engage. I'd really like to see, some kind of kindness.” “I am the eldest of four children. I come from a massive mixed race Anglo Indian Catholic family. My mother's one of seven. I have loads and loads of cousins. I struggled a lot with mental health in my young years. I had a massive breakdown when I was in my early thirties. I'm turning 60, my mother's turning 80. My parents celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary. My nephew is 18, my niece is, 21”.
Asked what her older self would say to her younger self, Debra replies “ I would say to myself, pay more attention to what you think about you rather than what other people think about you. I would go back to myself and say, tell the truth about how you're feeling , get the help that you need rather than just keep going. My grandmother used to say, what other people think of you is none of your business.”.
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“ Hope does not come out of denial. Failure comes out of denial, I've learned in the last few years to acknowledge the awfulness of what is going on and to say it's really bad. Things do get better. There have been times in my life when I've been full of despair, when things have been really, really bad for me, and I look back and remember I got through it. When there are people, there is always hope. In all the awfulness, there are always the helpers. I remember an old colleague of mine used to say, this is not all of life it's just part of life”.
Debra Allcock Tyler summaries the concept of hope, beautifully, “ When you're feeling really down and miserable, the best thing you can do is to do something for somebody else. You can’t help but feel better about yourself when you’ve done something nice for other people. “
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When asked about surviving and thriving, adventurer Erik Seversen says: “In my triangle of life, there's work life, family life, and the self. I wake up excited to get to work every single day. I trained for the real mountain every day. When I climb big mountains, I go alone with guides, but I alone. I spend time thinking about how much I appreciate family and how much I appreciate easy things. I'm a better husband and father when I do the things that are exciting for me. It makes me more well-rounded as a father and a husband and for myself, I like a challenge. “
“Happiness is like a backpack. You either put it on or you don't, and it's absolutely a choice. Just getting things that are easy doesn't make us feel fulfilled. The nature of challenges and continually working towards things that matter to us gives meaning to our lives and make us feel fulfilled. As we embrace the struggle something good can be coming from it. Purpose is something bigger than yourself. Meaning could be a by-product of happiness.”
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Telling her story live and uncut, Rachel Schofield, author of "The Career Change Guide, Five Steps to Finding Your Dream Job" reminds us we are constantly evolving. There is so much of our careers that is down to being in the right place. We're human. Careers are messy things. That's what makes them interesting. Career shifts whether these are big or small are not necessarily monumental. What do I want to do with these precious years on earth? What feels meaningful? What will help me earn money that I need? What will help me feel I've done something useful on this earth? “Where does what I do intersect with my interests. What might that mean for my career?” Rachel proffers a new campaign “Lets campaign for being ordinary and go for micro ambitions. Start with some kind of micro ambition, micro goal, micro idea and take it from there. Discover where your micro steps lead. “
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Uplifted under the bonnet is about bringing your authentic self to life and living. This shines a spotlight on human flourishing, the kindness, compassion, hope and empathy. Our stream of consciousness considers, where we are trying to get to in our journey through life. We reflect on what needs we are trying to satisfy. The reality is that most of us are trying to satisfy very simple needs such as living a peaceful life with our families and going about our daily live in a calm, focused, intentional and meaningful manner.
Conflict often arises from unmet needs and expectations. When we enhance our conversational capacity and our compassionate embrace to accept ourselves and others, we can be more focused and better able to handle challenging and difficult situations. Healthy relationships are built through individual and collective efforts.
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Taking the time is like slowing down to speed up is the right answer. It is about the legacy we live, lead and leave.
Inspiration can be found in how Stephen Sidebottom tells his story. Finding happiness in the place you are, is the thing that matters the most.
You have a choice, which is what's your next step, and you have a choice of, am I going to be happy, or do I choose not to be? Success recognises where value is created and takes the time to think and to shape. Everything is a question of the steps you take and what you make of it. I've never been someone who has some regrets about things. I quite like nostalgia; I like thinking back about things. I grew up in with a lot of exposure to travel and spending time in other countries, and that gave me a real perspective on different values and the joy of new ideas about how the world could be and how life could be.
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Adversity can lead to triumphing in the face of challenges and suffering. Deshauna Barber is doing good in the world from a place of knowing what it's like to serve. She is doing her story, being her story, telling her story. Pretty Ugly Lessons: empowering strategies to transform adversity into triumph by a former Miss USA and Army veteran is a treasure trove. Highlighted is the importance of getting balance in life through strategies for investing our energies and overcoming our fears.
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Adversity is hard, painful, challenging and unsettling. Confronting crisis, chaotic situations and developments can be overwhelming. One woman, Juliet Lamin used her personal tragedy to find her purpose and passion. From Knock Down to Comeback is her personal story of the steps she took to come back from the ashes of despair. The road is towards triumph. The journey is by no means an easy one.
On 5th February 2013 Juliet received the most devastating news any mother could receive. She heard that her adorable and gifted Philip had collapsed while playing football. He was rushed to hospital. When Julie Lamin got there, she beheld the lifeless body of her son. Philip who was 16 years old had no previously diagnosed heart conditions died tragically through sudden cardiac arrest (SCA)
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“It is a road trip; I feel that I'm at my peak. I'm at my peak because I've had so much experience and now, I can take all this experience from my professional and personal things that I've done and really step it into a higher gear in things that I can do. I feel very optimistic for the direction that a lot of things are taking in the professional corporate aspect”. Max Ekesi describes himself as super excited about a lot of things, and one of those is the opportunity to serve on his "Agile Austin Community" where he's been an active member since 2009 and has proudly served on the board as the vice president and now president. He is presently an IT manager at PayPal. Celebrating life brings energy to him. This year he felt particularly special on his birthday - more poignant because people could not come together during Covid 19. He still pinches himself to wake up from all the excitement about the fact that now we can be around people, be around big crowds and embrace people we care about.
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Rays of hope focuses on how emotions and perspectives can affect our whole being and can go into a physical injury in the body. Self-love and a sense of belonging from blended communities can be healing and restorative.
“I thought that I knew who I was as a mother and as a therapist and everything, and I wrote the book and I thought, God, who am I? Cause I didn't really know who I am. I've discovered self-worth, and that's key. If you've got self-worth, you can ask these questions” says Olukemi Ogunyemi.”
Writing Brown Girl in the Ring, a story of discovery, paved the way for Olukemi to put down on paper the pain that she didn't realise she still held. Now, she is better able to understand the reason why people would behave in the way that they behaved.
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Inspirational speaker Dr. Alise Cortez spoke with us about “How Loss Invites Us To Live More Vibrant Lives”. Loss gives such a beautiful bountiful connection in ways that ignites purpose, passion, forgiveness and love. The achingly beautiful colour of life does not fade as adversity leads a way towards purpose. We realise we don't get forever, and we don't know when the exit ramp is coming. “With that insight comes an increased urgency around purpose.” We move forward with renewed value and appreciation for life and the love we share with others.
Death is a great teacher. We can be inspired to treasure people we love, honour or have relationships with and also to expand our consciousness and live more fully. Increased awareness and a stronger urgency enables us to fulfil our wishes, our own dreams and to be of service to the world, the way that we burn and ache for.
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Ray Martin, author of Life without a Tie, also known as the Daily Explorer brought a "Ray" of Sunshine into the studio,. He's an interpreter and an award-winning business leader, a coach, a mentor, a facilitator, a speaker " In life without a Tie a random unforeseen series of events helped Ray strengthen his inner guidance, deepen his humanity and forge a new authentic path. He shares the highs and lows, the tears and laughter and the pricniples which guided him. Ray·s reminder is stark, ·There are always gifts in pain·. The best gifts don·t come wrapped nicely. Sometimes the gifts reside in tough, chaotic and messy situations.
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Today we celebrate an amazing coach – Max Ekesi. “I put myself in other people's shoes” recounts Max. Empathy is speaking to courage and boldness and forgiveness and the capacity to be agile and to diversify. I learned to navigate those different cultures.” He connects multi-generationally across the generational gaps.. Max fosters an understanding and a respect for older people. His approach has helped him in taking a more positive and optimistic approach. In tough times he invites us to ask” how can you create an opportunity out of the situation? By helping others it's incredible how much you help yourself.” There is nothing he loves more than getting involved with people outside of his professional work and helping to solve problems.
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Erin Randall is indeed a treasure trove and fragrance. When asked how she would like people to notice about her, Erin answers humbly “I want to be noticed as the coach who will be with you and stay with you. The coach who reflects back your loveliness so that you can work with that. “Ever the skilled and compassionate coach, Erin reminds us of the work of Caitlin Walker PhD, Director of Clean Learning and the Developer of Systemic Modelling. Dr Caitlin uses clean language, asking clean questions and encouraging clean work. The impact of this approach is to ask move towards curiosity without judgement, creating safe spaces for systems to respond. Erin espouses the value of reflective spaces and creating opportunities for off line processing that are unique and special . All parts of the system are different and special. I will definitely be watching Bird Cage the movie through a more thoughtful and considered lens.
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Jane Duncan-Rogers shares with us her story of grief and how it’s become her treasures and gifts to others. “My husband was diagnosed with stomach cancer in 2010. It stops you in your tracks. He got treatment, we hoped for the best, but actually the worst happened and I ended up being a widow.” This was the beginning of Jane’s grief journey. Jane’s greatest fear had come true. She was on her own at age 54.
How could she be gifted by this terrible loss? Louise L Hay, author of "You Can Heal Your Life" comforting words "what you feel you can heal" helped Jane get through pretty difficult feelings. A willingness to face grief and to face one’s own mortality can be helpful. Having an open heart and not letting fear stop you from doing what you want to do can help navigate loss. This often requires vulnerability, openness and being joyful in the face of sadness. Philip, Jane’s first husband used to say, “In vulnerability lies your strength.”
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Lisa Hammett talks about how she dealt with burnout and found a way out.
“My mother, was bipolar, diagnosed late in life. It was chronic anxiety related. There were periods in my life growing up where she wouldn't talk to me for like a week. If I did something to really upset her, she would just completely shut me out. I developed people pleasing tendencies and hyper achieving tendencies. I was always pushing myself really hard to get good grades and doing everything to please her.”
For my mom I would tell myself she's doing the best she can and give her some grace”. “My experience, reaching burnout has really led me to where I can serve my clients to the best of my ability now”.
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Podcasters united cross three countries, United Kingdom, United States and Nigeria. Paula Okonneh, Tesse Akpeki and Sade Marriot joined podcast guest Max Ekesi, President / CEO of the Agile Ausitn Organisation and IT Senior Manager at Paypal. Max has been leading Agile Transformations since 2007 in large enterprises specifically leveraging Agile & Kaizen principles.
Max’s 47th Birthday visiting Disneyland California was special. He spent quality time with his family. Turning to work, Max shares how the agile mindset that focuses on value, being fluid, adaptable, purposeful, nimble and committed to making a difference has given so much value to his life. “You are either adapting or being disrupted as you are choosing to be proactive or reactive. Creating high performing teams in Bangalore, Singapore and Lagos and doing these together meet the hopes and dream of people in developing countries. “ “Clarity of expectations and a focus on potential underpins agility.
ChatGPT which is the human interaction with AI is an exciting development towards adaptability and growth. What is essential is learning and growing together.”
TesseLeads website
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The choreography of life leads to a growing realisation that dancing in leadership is more relevant as ever. Dance like no one's watching, Sara Ramsey’s love of dancing led her to dance in the world amateur championships at the Royal Albert Hall.
During the Covid lockdown she reconnected with her love of dance. Bragging rights? She did her fair share of Fox trotting with Anton Du Beke pre his fame. While people baked sourdough bread, she studied the psychology of dance and has developed a course for teams. “Dancing is really good for connecting people. People dance in sync with each other, build trust and connect with others” says Sara.”
To find out more visit our dedicated TesseLeads website - https://tesseleads.com
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