Episodes
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Tiffany Belanger from Cosleepy returns to The Sleep Show for this episode and I’m so excited to talk to her again!
In this episode, she shares how you can make bed-sharing safer when away from home.
If you bed share and are about to stay away from home in a hotel, apartment or holiday home this episode is for you.
We talk through how to pack the crack, bed boards, mattresses and so much more!
Tiffany Belanger attended UCLA and adventured in the film and television industry prior to parenthood. In 2020 she founded Cosleepy, a cosleeping one-stop shop to help modern parents keep their babies safe and close at night.
Tiffany is a frequent guest on podcasts and blogs, and she was recently interviewed in New York Magazine's viral article Are We All Secretly Co-sleeping?
She and her husband are currently bedsharing with their two little boys in Sacramento, California.
Further resources:
Safety packet: cosleepy.com/safe-bedsharing-guidelines
Tiffany’s first episode on The Sleep Show: careitout.com/podcast/episode-45-all-about-bed-sharing-with-tiffany-belanger-aka-cosleepy
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On this episode of The Sleep Show, Zoe Ayre AKA The Respectful Mum joins us to talk about weaning respectfully and share her weaning story.
And it’s FULL of wonderful nuggets of wisdom!
Zoe is a children’s author, mum and respectful parenting advocate. She shares her respectful and honest parenting journey along with advice on Instagram as The Respectful Mum.
She loves sharing her respectful parenting journey as a toddler mum and her account shares the honest highs and lows of parenthood!
Her book, ‘I Will Always Help You Sleep’ was born of a desire for parents and children to be able to see themselves in the pages of a children’s book, in a world where being responsive to our children at nighttime can sometimes feel a lonely path. The book is as much for parents as it is for children, and hopes to bring reassurance that it’s okay to support our little ones to sleep. It’s truly unique in the way it represents normal infant sleep, co-sleeping and post-partum reality.
During this episode we talk through together:
Why she’s an advocate of respectful parenting
What does respectful mean to her?
Is it possible to night wean respectfully?
Her experience of night weaning her 20 month old daughter
Why being calm and confident is crucial when night weaning?
When is the best time to night wean?
Is it possible to night wean without tears?
Tips for when/if you’re ready to night wean
And SO much more!
I really hope you enjoy listening to this episode as we had so much fun recording it together!
You can find Zoe’s Instagram page at instagram.com/therespectfulmum
And you can buy her amazing book at www.therespectfulmum.com
Use RESPECT10 for 10% off the book, free bookmark and free signing/dedications (free P&P included).
Further links:
My weaning workshop:
www.careitout.com/courses/night-weaning-workshop
www.tiktok.com/@therespectfulmum
www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100083393322318
www.facebook.com/TheBookYouWish/
www.janetlansbury.com
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Missing episodes?
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On this episode of the Sleep Show I speak to pregnancy and postpartum psychotherapist Sophie Harris.
Sophie’s a psychotherapist who specialises in helping new mums during pregnancy and postpartum. She aims to normalise motherhood's tough times, help mums feel better, and celebrate being a mother. She believes that supporting and valuing the role of a mother should be made a priority to help build a happier and healthier society.
She’s also known as Looking After Mum on Instagram and I absolutely LOVE her reassuring and supportive posts. I experienced night rage as a new mum and I wasn’t expecting it. The rage really took me by surprise and I found her page invaluable in my early days of motherhood.
I really hope she becomes a regular guest on the podcast for us!
During this episode she talks us through:
-Mum rage
-Irrational fears
-Intrusive thoughts
-Anxiety
-Anxious thoughts
-Resentment
And SO much more!
I found it so reassuring to hear that I wasn’t the only one who found some days so exhausting that I didn’t have the energy to even brush my teeth.
And I really hope you enjoy listening to this episode as much as we enjoyed recording it together!
You can find Sarah’s amazing Instagram page here:
www.instagram.com/looking_after_mum/
Further links:
www.lookingaftermum.co.uk
www.empoweredmumclub.co.uk
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I’m always honest that Waiting It Out works.
And will forever reassure you that your Small will sleep through the night all by themselves even if you do nothing now.
I know that can sound unbelievable because society and the sleep training industry are constantly telling you the only way your Small will ever sleep through is if you teach or train them to.
But even if you:
Do nothing now
Never sleep train
Put a single sleep tip in place
Your Small will eventually:
Fall asleep solo
Sleep in their own sleep space
And sleep through the night!
However, I can’t tell you when they will and that can be hard to hear and the waiting isn’t always easy.
In this episode, Mum of two Kirsty joins me to share her waiting-it-out story with us.
She waited it out with her 3-year-old and is currently doing the same with her 7-month-old baby.
In this podcast episode, Kirsty and i talk through:
What is wait it out?
What wait it out mean for her family
Why Wait It Out worked for her family
Did she feel pressure to sleep train?
Was she ever tempted to sleep train?
What helped her while waiting
Whether she will wait it out again with her second baby
And so much more!
I really enjoyed talking to Kirsty and I hope you loved listening.
If you do please give The Sleep Show a little love and leave a review!
Further resources
Free nap gap guide:
www.careitout.com/blog/infant-nap-gaps-guide
Free four steps webinar:
www.careitout.com/sleep-freebie
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This week’s guest on The Sleep Show is neuroscientist, doula and mom Dr Greer Kirshenbaum.
She’s no stranger to the podcast because this is the second time she’s talked to us.
You can listen to her debut here: careitout.com/podcast/episode-17-baby-brains-and-bedtime
And I’m really hoping she becomes a regular because I LOVE her and her approach to parenting and sleep. I could talk to her all day!
She’s passionate about nurturing your baby’s brain and is all about connection too.
During this episode, we explore how we’ve both taken our responsive approaches from our practices into our own personal parenting journey.
And we answer the million-dollar questions:
Has our approach changed now that we’re parents
Could or would we ever sleep train our own children?
I really hope you enjoy listening to this episode as much as we enjoyed recording it together!
You can find Greer’s reassuring and supportive Instagram community here: @nurture_neuroscience_parenting
And you can buy her book here: www.amazon.co.uk/Nurture-Revolution-Transform-Nurtured-Parenting/dp/1538709333/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2RWAUJBWFEUAY&keywords=the%20nurture%20revolution&qid=1687379955&sprefix=the%20nurture%20%2Caps%2C206&sr=8-1
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Olivia Hinge is a midwife, IBCLC and mother of 3.
She’s passionate that evidence-based and inclusive feeding information is accessible to all.
Her Instagram page is packed with reassurance and a huge wealth of feeding information
And she delivers it all with a massive dollop of humour.
I love her and her approach and hope you will too!
In this Podcast episode, Olivia answers all of your breastfeeding questions:
How can I stop my baby from pulling my nipple?
How to help my exclusively breastfed transition to nursery?
Do the number and length of feeds decrease as baby gets older?
How to help my baby take a bottle or cup?
How to manage night feeds when they are frequent and feel a lot?
How can I help my breastfed baby during a period of short separation?
You can find Olivia on Instagram here: @olivia_lactation_consultant
Further resources:
www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk
www.solidstarts.com/water
www.fairplaylife.com
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If you’re about to return to work (or have recently returned!) this episode is for YOU.
I speak to Sam from The Float Space about returning to employment after parental leave.
Going back to work is a big transition for your family.
And it’s not always easy!
We both share what returning to work looked like for us and what helped us in the first couple of months.
This podcast is packed with reassurance, laughs and practical advice to help your return to work go smoothly.
Coaching with The Float Space is like taking your brain to a spa. Sam provides a calm, judgement-free space where you can organise your thoughts and put your ideas into action with accountability.
Sam works one-to-one and with groups using a range of coaching tools honed through a combination of professional coaching education with International Coaching Federation (ICF) accredited Barefoot Coaching and over 10 years experience leading people and projects in politics, not-for-profits and the public sector.
Last year Sam launched ‘Float Back’, a return to work coaching programme to support people returning to employment from parental leave.
You can find Sam on Instagram: instagram.com/thefloat.space
And visit her website: www.thefloat.space
Further resources:
Read my blog on napping at nursery - careitout.com/podcast/episode-25-napping-at-nursery
doingitforthekids.net
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Does your Small wake at night and won’t resettle unless you bring them into your bed?
If so you are NOT alone and this episode is for you!
Rachel is a first time mum to 2-year-old Samuel. Most of the time he wakes up once or twice before midnight and can be resettled with a quick cuddle back into his cot.
But after midnight he’s harder to settle so they co-sleep and it's becoming a little crowded!
Rachel would love to slowly move away from bringing him into her bed and support Samuel to spend more time at night in his cot.
And in this podcast episode, I’m going to talk you through how to do this. The caring way!
Reassurance first because I’m here for that and I want to remind you that there's absolutely nothing wrong with doing a cot (or bed!) and co-sleeping combo.
If bringing your small into your bed and co-sleeping…
from their first wake up
for part of the night
from the early hours
for the last hour to get more sleep…
Is working for you, your Small and everyone's sleep, Then all is well!
It's not wrong, a bad habit or something that needs to stop unless you want it too.
However, if it’s not working for you it IS possible to make changes with care.
If you do decide to put some bed boundaries in place at wake ups it is a BIG change for both you and your Small and it is going to take time, patience and support.
If you would like your Small to spend more time in their bed than yours join me for this podcast and I’ll talk you through:
What you can expect this transition to look like
How you can support your Small to stay in their bed
Why bedtime boundaries can be a game-changer for some
The bed buffer
And much more.
If you loved listening to this podcast episode please don’t forget to subscribe or leave me a review!
Further resources for you:
Settling to sleep with someone else podcast:
www.careitout.com/podcast/settling-to-sleep-with-someone-else
Bedtime Boundary Course
www.careitout.com/courses/bedtime-boundaries-ecourse
Safer co-sleeping
If you do co-sleep it’s really important to always follow safer sleep guidelines. I recommend reading these here:
www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping
www.llli.org/the-safe-sleep-seven
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Are you looking for some support to help your child settle to sleep with someone else at bedtime and/or wake ups?
If so, you’re going to love listening to this podcast episode!
In this episode, I’m joined by Rona, a first time mum to Lily who’s 18 months old. Rona would love it if Dad was able to settle Lily at bedtime and when she wakes up at night.
But like SO many Smalls, Lily is finding this transition a little tricky.
And Rona doesn’t quite know where to start making this huge change.
This is totally understandable because any changes (but especially one this big) can feel super overwhelming.
Join us for this podcast episode on getting someone else to settle your child to sleep, and we’ll talk you through:
Where to start your Small settling to sleep with someone else. The key really is finding that first small step!
The parent preference
Why this is a big boundary to change for you all
What this transition can look like
How to implement these big changes with care
Will there be tears and what to do when they are upset
Why focusing on you feeling calm and in control is important
And much more
Further resources for you:
Floor bed podcast episode: careitout.com/podcast/episode-44-benefits-of-a-floor-bed-with-sian-aldis-aka-no-milk-like-mamas
Bedtime boundary e-course: careitout.com/courses/bedtime-boundaries-ecourse
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Co-sleeping isn’t a bad bed habit and it only ever needs to stop if and/or when you’re ready.
And only you know when it’s time for this transition because you’re the expert on what works for your family!
If you do decide to move away from co-sleeping it is a BIG change for both you and your Small and it is going to take time, patience and support.
However, it IS possible to make this change with care.
If you're thinking about moving away from co-sleeping, this podcast is packed with tips and things to think about to help transition your Small into their own sleep space.
Join me for this podcast and I’ll talk you through:
When is the best time to move away from co-sleeping?
Will moving away from co-sleeping improve your sleep?
What will this transition likely look like?
And much more.
If you loved listening to this podcast episode please don’t forget to subscribe or leave me a review!
Safer co-sleeping resources
If you do co-sleep it’s really important to always follow safer sleep guidelines. I recommend reading these:
lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping
llli.org/the-safe-sleep-seven
Bedtime Boundary Course
careitout.com/courses/bedtime-boundaries-ecourse
Co-sleeping support resources
I absolutely love the following for amazing co-sleeping support and advice:
instagram.com/cosleepy
instagram.com/motherbabysleep
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Is your baby about to reach the four-month mark?
Or perhaps you’re already in the middle of the four-month progression?
If that’s a yes then this podcast is for YOU!
There’s often a lot of fear around the four-month regression.
Plus a fair bit of sleep scaremongering is being bandied about.
And I’m going to be honest, sleep at this stage can get a little (or A LOT) trickier and erratic.
That’s because your baby’s sleep is developing and it’s a huge time of change for them. And if you’ve been following me for a while you’ll know I often say ‘change is strange!’
But you really don’t need to:
Sleep train
Leave your baby to cry
Push them to fall asleep solo or stich their sleep cycles together.
To get through the four month progression.
I know it doesn’t always feel like it but this phase is temporary and IS likely to settle all by itself in time.
IF something does need a change or reset, chances are these changes will be easier once your baby is 5/5.5 months old.
And in the meantime, there’s lots of reassurance, advice and practical sleep suggestions waiting for you in this podcast episode!
Join me and 6 other parents for this panel podcast and together we’ll talk you through:
🌟 Sleep at the four month mark
🎙Why sleep changes at this stage
🌟 Their experience of this stage
🎙Four month food FOMO
🌟 Why the transfer can get super tricky
🎙 Why you don’t need to sleep train to get through the four month progression
🌟What you can do to support their sleep at this stage
🎙 The four month fear
And much MUCH more!
We all had a great time talking together and I really hope you find this episode useful and reassuring too!
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When it comes to your Small’s naps there’s a lot of myths and misconceptions out there isn’t there?!
That naps need to happen at a set time, in the same place AND in a certain way to be considered or count as a nap.
But I do like to keep sleep real around here and normalise infant sleep for you.
And like most things on the Care It Out approach the only thing naps need to do is work for you and your Small.
Join me for this nap recap episode and I’ll you through why naps don’t need to:
be in a cot to count
happen in the same space as night-time
be taken independently from you
happen in the same way every day
be a certain length to count
happen at exactly the same time
I’ll also answer the questions you asked me about naps:
What can I do when my Small refuses their only nap?
What can I do when my baby is refusing their cat nap but it’s having a huge impact on their night sleep?
What age to toddlers stop their nap?
How can I encourage my baby to nap at nursery, in the car or in the pram
Is it ok to use a dummy for naps but not at night?
Why is my Small taking short naps?
How will my baby nap at nursery?
What are age appropriate nap gaps at 11 months old?
Other podcast episodes I mention:
Napping at nursery: careitout.com/podcast/episode-25-napping-at-nursery
Short naps: careitout.com/podcast/ep-6
Skipped naps: careitout.com/podcast/35-short-and-skipped-naps
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A sleep crisis is not only tough and tiring for everyone, it can also have a huge impact on our mental health.
Join me and Dr Fiona Jeffries in this episode and we’ll talk you through:
What is parental mental health?
The relationship between sleep and mental health
Looking after your needs whilst responding to your baby’s sleep needs
Why self-care is important and is much more than taking a solo shower or trip to the toilet?
How to cope in a sleep crisis?
We really hope you enjoy listening to this episode as much as we did recording it!
Dr Fiona Jeffries is an experienced Clinical Psychologist with over 10 years' experience of working with children and families in a variety of settings. She’s passionate about her work and feels very lucky to have a career which she enjoys so much.
Since qualifying in 2012, she’s specialised in working with children and families. Much of her work has been with families who are dealing with the challenges of medical illness or disability.
She works using a variety of therapeutic models, including systemic, narrative and compassion-focussed approaches. She tailors her approach to each individual child and family and has a special interest in infant psychology. She’s very recently established ‘Baby Psychology Basics’, antenatal and postnatal workshops for parents and professionals.
Do you want to find out about Fiona?
www.drfionajeffries.co.uk/baby-psychology-basics
www.instagram.com/baby_psychology_basics
Free workshops coming up:
Wednesday 20th October 2021 12-1.30pm Prenatal Baby Psychology Basics: Understanding Your Baby
Wednesday 24th November 2021 12.30-2pm Postnatal Baby Psychology Basics: Understanding Your Baby
Please see website for more information and how to book
Listener offer:
20% off a 1:1 Baby Psychology Basics session for listeners (contact Fiona directly to book and mention you listened to the podcast)
Mindfulness and relaxation resources:
https://self-compassion.org
https://buddhify.com/
https://www.calm.com/
If you need some further support:
www.home-start.org.uk
www.mind.org.uk
www.pandasfoundation.org.uk
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Bed-sharing isn’t going to work for every family.
Bed-sharing isn’t for every family
And it might not be the best sleep set up for you.
This podcast isn’t about convincing or pushing you to bed-share!
But there’s often a lot of sleep shame and stigma around bed-sharing so this podcast is for you if you’re:
currently bed-sharing and would love some reassurance
considering bed-sharing and would love some reassurance
looking for safer sleep pointers whilst bed-sharing
Join me and Tiffany Belanger in this episode and we’ll talk you through:
-What is bed-sharing?
-Who is bed-sharing for?
-Why bed-sharing isn’t a bad bed habit
-What are the benefits of bed-sharing for both babies and parents?
-How can you make bed-sharing safer?
-Tiffany’s personal experience of bed-sharing
I hope you enjoy listening to this episode as much as we did recording it!
Tiffany Belanger spends her days wrangling two little boys, works on the Cosleepy blog for a few hours in the evening, and at night. And she sleeps soundly on a giant bed between her favourite people in the world!
Tiffany created Cosleepy to offer modern parents practical, scientifically-backed advice on how to safely co-sleep with their baby. It’s a hub for like-minded folks to find each other and a safe space for them to dive deep into the beauty, challenges, and intricacies of co-sleeping.
Tiffany works to empower every parent to trust the science and follow their intuition when it comes to keeping their baby safe and close at night. To find a way to love co-sleeping, and to do it with confidence.
Sign up for Tiffany’s mailing list at cosleepy.com for co-sleeping support, encouragement, and motivation straight to your inbox. You’ll have access to her favourite resources, giveaways, and personal updates on her family’s co-sleeping journey that she doesn’t share anywhere else.
You can find more information about Tiffany and Cosleepy here:
cosleepy.com
instagram.com/cosleepy
https://cosleepy.com/welcome
Recommended reading for safer sleep whilst bed-sharing:
llli.org/the-safe-sleep-seven
kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/cosleeping
cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines
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Floor beds aren’t going to work for every family.
And they might not be the best bed for you.
But sometimes I do suggest using (or just considering!) a floor bed, because there are lots of benefits, for both you and your Small!
Join me and Sian Aldis in this podcast episode, and we’ll talk you through:
What is a floor bed?
Who are floor beds for?
What age can you use a floor bed from?
What are the benefits of using a floor bed?
How can we make it a safer sleep space?
I hope you enjoy listening to this episode as much as we did recording it!
Sian Aldis is an IBCLC and gentle sleep consultant. You can find more information about Sian and No Milk Like Mamas Here:
Website: nomilklikemamas.co.uk
Email: [email protected]
Recommended reading for safer sleep whilst bed-sharing:
www.llli.org/the-safe-sleep-seven
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If you worry (a little or a lot!) you most certainly aren’t alone and I hope it reassures you to hear that it’s normal. Telling a parent not to worry is neither helpful or healthy. Worrying is a part of life for most of us at some point and what we try to resist just persists.
I will always listen to you and hold space for your worries to validate them. But I’m also here to reassure you too!
Tune into this episode to hear Kimberly Thomas AKA The New Mum Coach and myself discuss:
The worry Hour
Mindfulness
Self-Compassion and care
4 top tips to help you when you worry
When does worrying become a problem
And so much more!
You can find out more about Kimberly here:
thenewmumcoach.com
instagram.com/thenewmumcoach
Second time parents -
tickettailor.com/events/thenewmumcoach/503983/
Back to work -
tickettailor.com/events/thenewmumcoach/500940/
instagram.com/thenewmumcoach
Further resources:
Headspace
headspace.com
Calm
calm.com
Peanut
peanut-app.io
Panic pad
etsy.com/uk/listing/821942030/panic-pad-a4?ref=shop_home_active_4&crt=1
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Myles has just turned 2 years old and is a little firecracker who has FOMO (fear of missing out) when it comes to sleep!
He’s really resisting going to sleep at bedtime and wakes frequently during the night. And often won’t settle until he’s in Mum’s bed which isn’t working for anyone now.
This is understandably causing everyone a sleepless night!
I’m never going to stop sharing the message that toddler’s find sleep tricky too.
And I want to reassure you that your toddler isn’t broken and you aren’t doing anything wrong if your toddler:
Isn’t sleeping through the night
Is resisting going to sleep at bedtime
Needs you or support to fall asleep
Wakes up during the night
Won’t settle at night unless co-sleeping
However, if their sleep or wake ups are unsustainable or simply not working for you chances are there’s some small and caring changes that could make a big difference.
Join me and Myles’s Mum, Beckey for this live consultation podcast and together we’ll talk you through:
Normal infant sleep at 2 years old
The best bedtime for your toddler
What do to if their bedtime is super late
The 7 pm pressure
Supporting them to settle to sleep independently
Moving away from co-sleeping if they wake at night
Myles’s sleep story at 2 years old
Myles’s sleep suggestions to support him to a more settled night sleep. The caring way.
Beckey and I had a great talk together and I really hope you find this episode useful and reassuring too!
Further resources:
Biological best blog
careitout.com/blog/baby-biological-best
Bedtime boundaries Ecourse
careitout.com/courses/bedtime-boundaries-ecourse
Want to work together to improve your sleep the caring way?
You can find my current sleep services here:
careitout.com/sleep-service-prices
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Baby Remi is 12 months old and going through big changes with his sleep.
He slept through from around 7 months old until he recently started nursery and his sleep changed.
He’s now finding it hard to settle to sleep at bedtime and frequently has a split night AKA parent party. This is understandably causing everyone a sleepless night!
I’m never going to stop sharing the message that infant sleep isn’t a straight line process because it’s a constant work in progress!
So I want to reassure you that your baby isn’t broken and you aren’t doing anything wrong if your baby’s:
Sleep changes or hits the skids suddenly
Finding it harder to settle to sleep or needs more support to fall asleep
Having a parent party at night!
However, if their sleep or wake ups are unsustainable or simply not working for you chances are there’s some small and caring changes that could make a big difference.
Join me and Remi’s Mum, Amy for this live consultation podcast and together we’ll talk you through:
Normal infant sleep at 12 months old
Napping at nursery
Different routine in different places
How an early bedtime can impact night sleep
Supporting them to settle to sleep independently
Split nights AKA parent party
Remi’s sleep story at 12 months old
Remi’s sleep suggestions to support him to a more settled night sleep. The caring way.
Amy and I had a great talk together and I really hope you find this episode useful and reassuring too!
Further resources:
Parent party episode
www.careitout.com/podcast/ep-13-the-parent-party
Biological best blog
www.careitout.com/blog/baby-biological-best
Bedtime boundaries Ecourse
www.careitout.com/courses/bedtime-boundaries-ecourse
Want to work together to improve your sleep? You can find my current sleep services here:
www.careitout.com/sleep-service-prices
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Baby Lucas is 6.5 months old and waking very frequently at night. He’s waking up and needing help to get back to sleep every 2 hours at the moment which understandably is causing everyone a sleepless night!
I’m never going to stop sharing the message that it’s totally normal, your baby isn’t broken and you aren’t doing anything wrong if your baby is:
taking short naps at 6 months old
waking for a night feed (s) at 6 months old
not sleeping through the night at 6 months old
However, if their wake-ups are super frequent, unsustainable or simply not working for you, chances are there are some small and caring changes that could make a big difference.
Join me and Lucas’s Mum Emma for this consultation episode and we’ll talk through together:
Normal infant sleep at 6 months old
The six-month-old sleep switch
And the pressure to get sleep sorted by 6 months old
Baby eczema
Lucas’s sleep story at 6 months
Lucas’s sleep suggestions to support him to a more settled night sleep
Emma and I had a great chat and I really hope you find it useful and reassuring too!
Links/further resources:
Dermatologist for paediatric eczema: skin55.co.uk/dr-rachael-morris-jones
Bedtime boundaries Ecourse: careitout.com/courses/bedtime-boundaries-ecourse
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Mona is a postnatal doula based in East London with two children aged four and two.
She is passionate about supporting and empowering parents during their fourth trimester period.
Planning for your new baby
Once parents find out that they are expecting, things like booking antenatal classes; reading parenting books; hypnobirthing courses; buying clothes and baby equipment; choosing colours for the nursery, are what parents usually consider.
My advice would be to plan for the postnatal period too, consider that you may need to hire a postnatal doula, lactation consultant, and/or a sleep consultant.
Support in the first few weeks
Support is essential in the first few weeks, whether you’re a first-time parent or second-time parent. Having an extra pair of hands to give you some down time and catch up on much-needed rest is invaluable. New-born babies are demanding, needing constant feeding, changing, and holding. If you are fortunate to have support from relatives, my advice would be to take it! But if not, having a postnatal doula is a great alternative. Parents are most likely to be sleep-deprived, the mother may find that she is doing the main bulk of night feeds, especially if she is breastfeeding. Having support means rest, having meals cooked, and chores seen to.
Health visitors and midwives are there to check that mother and baby are doing well after birth. I will stress that it is important to get in touch with the midwife or health visitor if you have concerns about yourself or baby.
Advice for new parents:
• Make sure you have a support network
• Try to get support lined up before baby arrives
• Look after yourself. It's hard enough looking after a new baby, even harder if you’re not looked after yourself.
• Let some things go
• Accept help – let family, friends bring you food
• Find time to relax
• Have fun with your baby
• Remember that nobody is perfect
We can offer support by listening to parents and giving guidance accordingly, and by being non-judgmental.
New Baby Resources.
There are so many useful resources that parents can turn to if needed if mother/birthing person may struggle with breastfeeding:
www.milkmakingmama.co.uk
www.laleche.org.uk
www.henry.org.uk
What I do and how a Postnatal doula works
I support families in the fourth trimester, emotional support is the very foundation of what doulas provide. I offer practical and informational support, a listening ear for parents to air their concerns. I offer hands-on support, taking on the role of mothering the mother by preparing meals, offering snacks, and making sure the mother is well hydrated. I support mothers with breast and bottle feeding, where feeding may not be going well, I will signpost if necessary, to lactations consultants or breastfeeding counsellors. Some mothers may require a hands-on approach in the home to support older siblings, while they get to know their baby. I offer to help with light housework, such as loading the dishwasher and doing laundry. Some mothers may just want to catch up on sleep and rest, this is where I would look after the baby/babies by taking care of their needs.
Postnatal doulas can be found on doula directories or usually word of mouth from friends. Once parents have decided to hire a postnatal doula, a postnatal planning session is set up. This is where the doula visits the family for the first time and the conversation may include things like getting to know the family, understanding the mother’s needs, talking about nutrition, recovery, and the sort of help that is required.
Why hire a Postnatal doula?
• Extra pair of hands
• A listening ear
• Non-judgemental guidance
• An extra shoulder to cry on
• Help with Sleep deprivation
• Nurturing and holding parents as they navigate the transitional experience of parenthood
• Catching up on sleep and rest
• Support with feeding
• Taking the load off (chores and cooking)
• Having tools and access to signposting
Find out more about Mona and her services here:
Instagram: @helpinghands.doula
helpinghandsdoula.co.uk
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