Episodes
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Ding dong merrily on high (baby) The Detective Inspectors are back (baby) with a new series of poorly researched, amateurishly produced and ineptly performed podcasts! You would think that by now this would all be a lot more professional but the audio quality is as sub-standard as the jokes and out of date cultural references.
In this episode (that's right, it's a Christmas special, baby), Marcus and Tabby find Kojak in a festive mood andsporting a ghastly waistcoat. It's Christmas Eve in the 11th Precinct and Kojak is looking for a would-be-murderer who shot himself in the wrist and a potential robber in a red silk scarf.
Also, Marcus is rude to Tabby and Tabby seems to be wishing that Marcus was dead. Enjoy the podcast and don't forget to recommend us to anyone you think might enjoy these ramblings.
Merry Christmas (babies)!
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Hi there listener(s), unfortunately Marcus and Tabby are still having technical issues and so there is no episode this week (although you probably noticed that on Friday when you dashed to your computer, smartphone or other mp3 ready device to download the latest instalment of unmissable aural content that we are in the habit of serving up here at TDI). The shadowy backroom team behind the podcast urges you to spend the next two weeks catching up on episodes you may have missed (Moonlighting, perhaps) to aid the push to 1000 total downloads. Also if you know anybody in New Zealand, please encourage them to listen, just one of them. Please.
Contact us if you have nothing else going on in your life...
t: @detect_inspect e: [email protected]
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Missing episodes?
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We've got 99 problems but the beach ain't one... that's right because at least one member of the podcast (although none of the members of the shadowy backroom team) lives right on the fooking beach. OK, let's front up... we have technical issues so this episode is from the shadowy archive of prepisodes (TM: Marcus) that was never meant for air. Still, it's a good time, you have a catholic priest meddling in the business of the police and all sorts. Enjoy the podcast and hopefully, we will be back soon!
Don't forget to check out the awesome 'The Fabricators' the official band of the podcast, you can find them at the link below... you know it makes sense...
https://fabricators.bandcamp.com/
https://twitter.com/the_fabricators?lang=en
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Join Marcus and Tabby in beautiful Amsterdam for a tale involving poison, horse, rare books and phallic mushrooms. This show makes less sense than the podcast and features perhaps the least satisfying ending of anything covered here so far. Is Van der Valk more or less unpleasant than Morse and just who do you have to kill to get arrested on this programme?? Entertained you might be (probably not though).
Contact the podcast on twitter @Detect_Inspect or email them here: [email protected]
And if you are a masochist why not watch the featured episode over on the old YouTube!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElqGy617I4o
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Ok, so there was this garden... oh forget it, you'll hear all about the garden if you tune into this latest instalment the podcast. More importantly, what the twig has happened to the audio quality on this episode. There is rustling, buzzing, clicking, phones going off and perhaps most importantly laughter; when the shadowy backroom team that control the podcast chose this show they cannot have possibly imagined it would be so much twigging fun!
Also, the listener(s) is(are) named, Tabby struggles to recognise faces and Marcus proves himself to be an, er, genius?
We strongly urge you to watch this on YouTube and not the remake on ITV or BBC or whoever the twig does it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CG7gXj2jb8s
TWIGS.
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Come with us as the 'shadowy-backroom-team' send Marcus and Tabby whizzing back in time to the 1950's when everyone looked almost identical. A popular boxer has been killed leaving his deadbeat friend to clear up the mess along with any booze that happens to be left lying around. The scenery gets chewed, someone takes a pasting and er, er, well that's about it really. Well, what were you expecting in a 25-minute programme?
Watch Peter Gunn on tax-dodging video streaming platform Amazon Prime if you fancy it... it's worth your time, just about.
Contact us... blah blah blah.
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Episode 14 finds Marcus and Tabby overstaying there welcome in Los Angeles as they check in at the Blue Moon Detective agency with Bruce and Cybill. This series is a classic but unbelievably one of the hosts had never seen it before being forced to watch it for this podcast! Topics up for discussion include cannibalism, smoking and the rights and wrongs of wearing a jumper without a t-shirt underneath. There's also a heated falling out and news of some exciting celebrity correspondence. Sort of. Plus the best chase music ever on TV, bar none.
Get in touch if you want and check this out, there's a link down there to the episode on YouTube so you can go see what all the talk is about!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ykOpSbzeEY
t: @detect_inspect
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Join Marcus and Tabby as they go all West Coast with this look at late 90's oddity LA Heat. A deranged killer is on the loose, fired up by an obnoxious Shock Jock, but don't worry there's still time to romance your girlfriend on the boat and enjoy some naughty time with the wife over at the boxing gym. Hold on to your hat listener because this is a wild ride with possibly one of the best chase sequences ever put to film, or video, or whatever this was shot on. Shame they didn't spend as much time working on the plot as they did the ACTION and EXPLOSIONS.
Contact us if you can be arsed and why not tell a friend about us. What, you haven't got any, no nor have we.
By the way, looks like new eps appear on a Friday now, like you care.
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Welcome back to the podcast and a happy New Year! This latest installment finds Marcus and Tabby in the fictional county of Westershire, checking in with copper_cum_chef Henry Crabbe, played by the terrific Richard Griffiths. Just what the heck is going on in this programme? Who exactly is doing what to whose wine and why? Find out how much vodka it is OK to drink while driving a van. And why would a middle-aged restauranteur need a pair of violent goons? The only certainty is that the wine is Cabinet Sauvignon, that's Cabinet Sauvignon. Say it again, Cabinet Sauvignon.
Rate and review us at iTunes and why not contact us. Tweet @detect_inspect and email [email protected]
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Well you probably thought (or hoped) that we had gone away forever but you were wrong. This isn't an episode though, one of those will come very soon (we promise), this is just kind of a hello, how are you doing kinda thing.
Happy New Year listener!
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This latest episode of the podcast finds Marcus and Tabby delving into the seedy and murky world of 1950's private eye, Mike Hammer. Only the for some reason it isn't the fifties it's the nineties, and you know, the fifties and the nineties are kinda different right? Right? Which begs the question, how did this ever get to be on actual telly? Still this show has everything, gambling, horses, murder, dogs playing cards, horses, action, mystery and a whole lot more! However the biggest mystery is why didn't the bafoons who make this podcast manage to schedule something Christmassy this week???
Enjoy if you can and thanks for listening if you are. Drop us a line etc.
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This episode of the podcast (the world continues to ignore) reunites Marcus and Tabby with an old adversary and it's fair to say that neither is very happy about it.
The time is 1994. The place is the fictional town of Denton. The colours are brown and beige. The man is Frost, Jack Frost, yes like the weather thing, haha, pretty funny huh? It's grim, it's poorly constructed, it makes no sense and it shows no sign of ending. But on this one they talk about Frost and he's played by David Jason so you are obliged, by law, to listen to it. And you better bloody well like it too.
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Welcome to episode 9 of possibly the most self-effacing podcast in the entire world. Up for discussion this week are topics as diverse as catching your winky in the fly, deals with the devil and the difference between real fire and videos of real fire. In between these snatches of podcast, er, gold, Marcus and Tabby get deep into the 1980's detective quagmire that is Hunter. Expect music, music and more music, plus a lot of fire.
Don't forget to get in touch on the twitter @detect_inspect or email us at [email protected] In return we promise to try and get better at this one day!
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Join Marcus and Tabby as they join Jonathan and Jennifer Hart who in turn join a Broadway production of an ill-advised piece of musical theatre. Is this the worst assassin in the history of everything? Why do theatre people take so long to exact their revenge?? And why, why, why, why oh blooming why is there so much filler in this programme??? Not that we can talk of course, about filler I mean, and things being too long, and not really making sense, and going on and on and on forever, without ever seeming like they are going to en............ (snip)
If you wanna get in touch then comments or maybe even suggestions for future episodes can be sent via @detect_inspect (twitter) or [email protected] Cheers for listening, if you are.
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On this episode of the podcast (nobody asked for) Marcus and Tabby are up to their necks in Agatha Christie, and sinking fast. When a hapless robber winds up dead in a posh living room the cast of possible suspects grows like a sodding virus. Who knew that this was actually a mini-series? Who knew that it was the best part of THREE hours long?? And does anybody know what is actually going on??? Tabby gets excited about a special guest and there are problems delivering a duvet, and a dog. Meanwhile, as Marcus struggles to come to terms with the plot, the character names and the run time, this turns into the longest podcast yet.
It is worth remembering that neither Marcus nor Tabby are an professional broadcaster, perhaps skip this one. If you don't, then remember, you HAVE been warned.
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Come on a journey with Marcus and Tabby as they get all hot and bothered down under. It's the 'Swinging Twenties' and anything goes for the liberated and sassy lady detective, Phryne Fisher. This mystery has everything, death, the supernatural, revenge, Gilbert and Sullivan... but is this the most poorly explained plot so far? Also, why on earth does everything smell like hyacinths? There is major controversy surrounding a bonus point and why the bloody heck aren't these things getting shorter? Streuth.
Thanks for listening if you are, and hey, why not tell a friend about it!
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Join Marcus and Tabby as they discuss a true classic of the TV Detective genre. Morse is not only an actual serving policeman, he solves real actual proper crimes and he does it in a real life location. Motives are real. Suspects are complex and there is a big win on the predictions front. Is the tide finally turning or has Tabby gone three-nil up? There's only one way to find out, assuming that you care at all. Naturally.
Don't forget to tell your friends and you can tweet us @detect_inspect if you wanna get in touch.
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It's episode 4 of the podcast and Marcus and Tabby have taken a trip to Bristol to check in with Radio West's resident "Private Ear" Eddie Shoestring. The possibility of a detective-programme-butterfly-effect is explored and just what does Shoestring do in this episode? Must the quality of the cast be inversely proportional to the quality of the plot and why is nobody concerned that a man was thrown into the sea and left for dead? Also Mick Jagger's brother, Ronnie Wood's doppleganger and some terrible accents. Oh yes and Toyah Willcox is in this one too.
Any complaints about the humorous quality of this podcast should be addressed to Trevor Eve, Ingrams Drive, Redditch.
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Welcome one and all to the fictional island of Jersey for this look into the thrilling world of Bergerac. Marcus and Tabby are in high spirits as they pick apart a plot that is not nearly as confusing as anyone remembers this show being. Take a trip to the Bloody Hotel, eat a big pot of mussels and decide for yourself whether or not Charlie Hungerford is a KENT. Everybody involved hopes you enjoy the podcast and apologises for the audio quality, and everything else.
**Due to 'circumstances beyond the producers control' this episode of the podcast comes from a shadowy archive of 'practice' records that were never 'meant' for 'publication'. Please bear with us, neither Marcus nor Tabby are an professional broadcaster.**
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In this, the tricky second episode, Marcus and Tabby tackle 1990's medieval monk-cum-detective Cadfael. There is confusion over the pronunciation of just about every characters name, nobody seems to know what a chattel is and why exactly is this leper colony on the main road? Also: Derek Jacobi on a donkey, how quickly can you become a nun and just why is this episode so long? Thanks for listening if you are.
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