Episodes
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If Tom & Jon wrote poems
âspose it will be assumed
They wonât be as good as Henryâs
Normal service will be resumed.
In this episode, we meet up with Henry Normal: poet, writer of famous sit-coms, TV producer and poetry festival founder, and have a blumminâ lovely natter.
(After we did that - we watched him perform all his lovely poems, so effortlessly. So fluidly. So naturally.
And thus, inspired by his performance, we wondered how hard it would be to knock off a quick poem and perform it aloud.
âBloobee blah blah bleeblee
Bloobloo bloobloo la!âŠâ
Sort of like that.
Dead easy.
So we did.
The results were... profoundly... um...
...well... decide for yourself.)
Henry Normalâs insta:
https://www.instagram.com/henrynormalpoet/
Buy Henryâs books:
https://flapjackpress.co.uk/products/henry-normal
Henryâs tour dates:
https://www.ents24.com/uk/tour-dates/henry-normal
BIG UPSâŠ
The bloke who wrote the short story that Jon loved:
https://www.aaroncourts.com/
A.B. Finlayson and his excellent book:
https://abfinlayson.com/rockzombie/
Genevieve Marenghi-Dalyâs lovely website.
https://sharpewords.uk/
Cover photo: J. Preston. Available for weddings, bar mitzvahs and saucy stuff.
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Sorry? Did you just say you'd love to enter an almost free* festive flash fiction competition to win ÂŁ500?
I thought you did!
Well as coincidence would have it, that is exactly what we've got going on in this very episode.
So step this way, my cheeky little word-purveyor, and cast your well oiled ears at our glorious 350 word Flash Fiction Competition.
That's it.... yep... cast them freely.... mmmm.... that's the ticket.
*I say 'almost free', cos it's only a pound to enter. And we only did that to keep the pesky AI enterers from entering.
So, well... that pretty much qualifies as free doesn't it?
Here are some links to stuff mentioned in the podcast:
Buy the Fuel Anthology Emily mentions, here: https://www.fuelflash.net
Find Smokelong Quarterly here: https://www.smokelong.com
And here is your failsafe
STEP BY STEP GUIDE TO ENTERING
THE FAILING WRITERS PODCAST
ÂŁ500 FESTIVE FLASH FICTION COMPETITION:
1. Listen to Series 4, Episode 20 of The Failing Writers Podcast.
2. Jot down the special phrase you must include in your story.
3. Write your 350 word, festive flash, (including that phrase!) Ideally well before the deadline - midday, Friday 13th December!
4. When youâre super-happy with it and ready to go⊠log into your Paypal account https://www.paypal.com
5. Click on 'send and request'.
6. Under the send menu, type [email protected] into the box. It will suggest Tom Turner â click on that!
7. If âyou sendâ is set to USD, change to GBP, and send ÂŁ1.00 (donât forget that decimal point or youâll send us ÂŁ100!!! whoopieee)
8. âWhatâs this for?â put something like âComp entryâ
9. Hit send.
10. Now go to your email and find the receipt you shouldâve just been sent.
11. Click Forward, and attach your flash fiction entry to this new email.
12. Send that email (with Paypal receipt & flash piece) to [email protected]
Youâre all done!
Canât wait to see what you come up with!
For all of the details and terms and conditions and all that jazz - go here:
https://www.failingwriterspodcast.com/post/win-500-in-our-festive-flash-fiction-competition
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Missing episodes?
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What is ergodic literature? Well, it's when a story becomes more than just something you read, and you become part of it.
But pretend you haven't read that, so that you can find out from listening to this wonderful episode. In which, we have a chat with "S" co-author Doug Dorst and You Say Which Way author Deb Potter, in our quest to get to the bottom of what ergodic fiction is and why it's so blummin' good. Enjoy!
Here's some links for things in the show and stuff...
https://dougdorst.com/
https://www.amazon.co.uk/S-Doug-Dorst/dp/0316201642
https://yousaywhichway.com/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Unfortunates
https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/327088/house-of-leaves-by-danielewski-mark-z/9781529943993
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masquerade_(book)
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Should you treat yourself to a writing retreat?
If you did it twice would you be re-treating yourself to a writing retreat?
If you tweeted about treating yourself to a writers retreat would you be tweeting your re-treat of retreating to a retreat?
And if you then re-tweeted your...
OK, I'll stop.
Tom & Jon not only answer the first of these pressing questions, but as they disappear into the wilderness (sort of) to sample a writers' retreat, they seek to answer the biggest question of all.
The one that's been haunting them for as long as they've been doing this podcast.
Can they actually knuckle down and write for 2 and a half days straight? No social media. No boxsets. No 'nipping to the pub for one' and then accidentally spending the entire afternoon there?
...
What?
Well I'm obviously not going to tell you am I?
Of course not.
What do you mean, I'm being a tease? That's what these bits of blurb are for! to tease you in.
Oh stop arguing and hit play.
Here's where we went:
https://writersretreatuk.co.uk/2023/01/our-own-venue-the-retreat-at-the-kings-arms/
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Are you querying? or nearly querying? Maybe youâre fearing querying? Or merely getting weary and a bit teary querying? Well letâs hear from three writers whoâve been down in those querying trenches for a while now.
Find out how they're approaching it, what agents' responses have been like and how theyâre holding up under pressure.
Because when it comes to finding an agent, itâs more often than not, a long and painful process. No matter how talented a writer you are.
Byddi Lee:
Byddiâs website:
https://www.byddilee.com
Byddi's Books:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/Byddi-Lee/author/B00OICWYUU?ref=sr_ntt_srch_lnk_3&qid=1726051761&sr=1-3&isDramIntegrated=true&shoppingPortalEnabled=true
ĂzgĂŒr Uyanık:
Short stories MEN ALONE
https://www.parthianbooks.com/products/men-alone-short-stories?_pos=1&_sid=53c734e1d&_ss=r
Short story from the collection, BANTER:
https://nation.cymru/culture/short-story-banter/
Novel CONCEPTION:
https://www.fairlightbooks.co.uk/conception/
THREADS
https://www.threads.net/@liberatedsleepless
SUBSTACK
https://ozguruyanik.substack.com
Mari Stewart:
Mariâs website:
https://mari-stewart.com
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... What? Did 2 weeks just fly by since the last episode? No flippin' way.
Time, I think, we had a chat about time. The fact that there's never enough of it. Especially for writing.
Why is that?
Well Oliver Burkeman might just have some answers.
Prepare to face the subject of time and limitation face-on.
Get ready to completely re-think how we view those precious hours, minutes and seconds. And ask... 'what would happen if we spent less of it worrying about the fact it's running out, and more of it just... being in it.'
Or even becoming time itself?
Might this shift in thinking actually help us stop procrastinating? and start spending more of our time doing the things that actually matter?
Hopefully, yes.
But what does actually matter?
You might have to answer that one yourself.
Regardless, whatever you do, you should definitely spend the next forty five minutes wasting your time listening to Oliver Burkeman.
Get a load of Oliver's brilliant 400 Weeks here:
https://www.oliverburkeman.com/fourthousandweeks
Get free incredible anti-procrastinatory tips here:
https://www.oliverburkeman.com/posts
And get Oliver's sparkly, life changing new book here:
https://www.oliverburkeman.com/meditationsformortals
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Well, thatâs the summer hiatus done with - and we're back with an episode which asks the question, "how do you know if your writing is good enough?"
In an attempt to answer that question, weâre going to be looking at a couple of Tomâs flash fiction stories and asking if, why, and how, one of them is slightly less rubbish than the other. Both stories were entered into the same competition, but only one of them got published. Can Dave guess which one is which? Can YOU guess which one is which? Well, to answer either of those questions, you're gonna have to have a listen, aren't you!
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Do you have what it takes to quit your day job and follow your dreams to become a full time author?
Well, there's only one way to find out...and that's to listen to our interview with J C Duncan!
Hear how he bravely decided to give himself a year to become a professional writer and, even bravelier, decided to tell everyone about it!
Plus home made knives, Vikings and our usual top quality chat!
Find out more about our most excellent guest (and check out that sword!) HERE: www.jcduncan.co.uk.
Buy his Vikingly books here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/stores/J-C-Duncan/author/B08WCYR1DR
And check out his #oneyeartopro threads here:
https://x.com/JCDuncanauthor/status/1707002271010079150
https://twitter.com/JCDuncanauthor/status/1708465357424365671
https://twitter.com/JCDuncanauthor/status/1719670719628358012
https://twitter.com/JCDuncanauthor/status/1732823188453650477
https://twitter.com/JCDuncanauthor/status/1741821890270798104
https://twitter.com/JCDuncanauthor/status/1753131464768532959
https://x.com/JCDuncanauthor/status/1755575800626073768
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A rose by any other name would still smell as sweet...but would he have written that line if he wasn't called Shakespeare?
This week Jon, Tom and Dave (or possibly Rod, Jane and Freddy) look into pseudonyms, nom-de-plumes, pen names...and basically just being someone else for a bit.
Does your name affect your chances of success? Does it even have an impact on how you write?
Join us to find out as the Failing Writers try to become the not-so-failing writers....for at least one chapter.
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A change is in the air here at Failing HQ. A scent on the wind, a signal that the new dawn will herald the arrival of long overdue success.
This week, not only do Tom and Jon have a lovely chat with acclaimed author and current Richard and Judy Book Club pick Mike Gayle...but Jon also discusses his submissions to some actual writing competitions. AND Tom talks a bit more about the book he's actually published!
Oh, and Dave's there too.
Mike's latest novel:
A Song of Me and You: a heartfelt and romantic novel of first love and second chances, picked for the Richard & Judy Book Club
https://amzn.eu/d/2DqUyK9
Or see more at www.mikegayle.co.uk
"Under A Blood Red Sun" from Aaron Brooks in our WIP up a storm feature.
TOM'S BOOK - If you can't be bothered to go to Amazon and put in "Two Hour Sales Bible" then here's a link to it - GO AND BUY IT!
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If we were really clever, we'd have written the show notes for this week's episode in the form of a cryptic crossword clue in honour of our guest, Samuel Burr.
We spoke to him about his debut novel "The Fellowship of Puzzle Makers", his frankly unbelievable journey to getting published and even had a chat about all things cryptic.
But, unfortunately, we're not really clever...so we didn't.
Which makes Tom's incredible publishing news even more puzzling!
Find Sam's already bestselling novel here
Or... if you're feeling adventurous, join an exclusive club and be one of the few to buy a copy of Tom's hilarious satire on the world of sales and salespeople...
PAPERBACK - KINDLE - AUDIO BOOK
Here's the link to Writers HQ - Write a Novel Month
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The average age of our guests this week is 64. Nothing too amazing about that you might say⊠until you find out the first of our two guests is in her mid-twenties! This week we ask, âIs there a best age to write?â
Plus we enjoy a WIP from Geoffrey G N Harrison.
And hereâs a load of linksâŠ
Check out Alineâs YouTube here!
Here's Aline's Toktok
Here's Babette's new book and her website: https://www.babettehughesbooks.com
And you can read more of Geoff's story "Divided" here!
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Would you like a pun? Well, that's handy because this week we've been punning for gold and ended up with a bucket load.
Director, writer and stand up comedian Darren Walsh chats to us about his career, the art of a good pun and whether AI will ever be funnier than him.
Plus Jon comes up with what is almost certainly not an entirely new form of joke!
Find out more about Darren here...
https://darrenwalsh.co.uk
Here's Darren doing his award winning joke (and some others)
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Have you ever been to Scarfolk? It's a strange, yet hauntingly familiar place. Join us as we take a bus trip into the mind of the man who dreamt it all up, Richard Littler.
Plus we take a look at another listener's bit o' writing they've kindly sent in to share with the class. This week we try and make Madelyn Postman cry...
Find out more about Richard here...
https://scarfolk.blogspot.com
and here...
https://www.richardlittler.com/
And thanks [email protected] for letting us use those bangin' music tracks in Data Double! https://www.totim.audio/music
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If comedy writing is your thing, we've got a real treat for you. This week we talk to the super talented and rather prolific Robert Popper. From how he broke into the industry via Steve Coogan and The Comic Strip to his smash hit sitcom Friday Night Dinner. We also chat about Robin Cooper, The Timewaster Letters, South Park, Look Around You, and plenty more besides.
Robertâs Wikipedia
Plus, in our regular 'Dare To Share' feature (where we have a look at what our listeners have been writing, read it out, then discuss it) we look at an excerpt from J. Aaron Courts' 'Hot Box'.
See more from Aaron here:
https://www.instagram.com/aaron.courts/
https://aaroncourts.substack.comHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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The great Carl Reiner once said âImprovisation is just writing in front of an audienceâ.
So we figured if we could brush up on our improv skills it's bound to make us better writers... right?
This week improv extraordinaire, and official Comedy Store Player, Ruth Bratt talks to us about her life, her craft and the eating habits of her cat... before putting us to the test with our own improvised play. What could possibly go wrong?
Go and see Ruth with the legendary Comedy Store Players here:
https://comedystoreplayers.com
Get your ticket for Showstopper! The Improvised Musical here:
https://showstopperthemusical.comHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Unfortunately we're not able to include show notes this week, for legal reasons.
Thanks for listening.
www.floraopil.com
Find out more about Flora hereHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Writing can be a solitary business. All those hours spent with nothing but a blank page and a bottomless coffee cup.
On reflection we reckon it's probably good to interact with other human beings occasionally.
It can stop you going full fruit-loops. (You know...dressing as your main character and wandering around the house talking to yourself.)
It can help you find friendly Alpha / Beta readers.
It can boost the learnies.
It can even help you become more productive... apparently.
So this week, we thought we'd have a look at the benefits of reaching out to other writers. Be it through communities like Writers' HQ, classes, retreats or social media.
And in the process we stumble across a writer who is living proof of just how beneficial reaching out to others can be...and then some!
Check out Writers' HQ here:
https://writershq.co.uk
Buy Sam's excellent book here:
https://geni.us/Puzzlemakers
And thanks to Jennifer Last for sharing her excellent Not Dead Girl extract!Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Join Tom & Jon on another rambly exploration.
This time we're off back to the 1840s to take a good, hard look at the Brontë sisters. Who were Charlotte, Emily and Anne Brontë? What were they like? How is it possible that three sisters all wrote so brilliantly? Why are they still so revered by readers across the world? and what was the deal with Branwell?
Pack a rain coat, a poetry book and a flask of tea and come with us o'er the moors, as we chat to experts: biographer - Lucasta Miller, English Lit Professor - Gregory Dart, and the lovely folk at the Brontë Museum in Haworth, to learn more about these fascinating and extraordinary writers.
Lucasta's Website:
https://www.lucastamiller.com/theauthor
Buy The Brontë Myth:
https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/355538/the-bronte-myth-by-lucasta-miller/9780099287148
Visit The Brontë Parsonage Museum:
https://www.bronte.org.uk
And thank you to Professor Gregory Dart - a total legend.
See him give Philomena Cunk a run for her money here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=beP0rZIITmIHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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As an aspiring young writer it's easy to be put off by even the most well intentioned constructive criticism...what's not so easy is to revisit that critique many years later and be inspired to write a novel that has publishers literally fighting each other for the chance to print it.
Join us for a fascinating interview as Jessica Bull, author of the much anticipated "Miss Austen Investigates" describes the downs and very significant ups of her writing journey.
Buy Miss Austen Investigates here:
https://shor.by/MissAusten
Jessicaâs soash:
Twitter: @NovelistJessica (https://twitter.com/NovelistJessica)
Instagram: @jessicabullnovelist (https://www.instagram.com/jessicabullnovelist/)
author pic by Cassie BarucHosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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