Episodes

  • In this final episode of the current series, we’ll chat about how diplomacy often requires us to be ready to work at all hours.

    We’ll talk about work/life balance and how our work/life balance isn’t given to us: We must get our life for ourselves.

    But how? Let’s have a chat about that.

    I’ll be back with a new series and new topics to discuss in a few months. In the meantime, get me in your corner through my mentoring services. See link below.

    Links:
    Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com
    Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
    Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog
    Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information
    Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/P4sfZbSk2YQ

  • In this second last episode in this series, we’re going to discuss what can happen when we valiantly try to cope with ceaseless demands on our time and attention at work and in life.

    For all our skills, talents and ability to serve our governments and our fellow citizens, diplomats and those who live the diplomatic life are still human. We all have our limits.

    Let’s have a chat about how we can engage on our mental health during these difficult times.

    Get me in your corner through my mentoring services. See link below.

    Links:
    Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com
    Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
    Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog
    Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information
    Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/BmtXCqKo8Dg

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  • We’re going to have a kind and honest conversation on a subject that we too often only speak about in hushed tones: relationship infidelity and the challenges that this diplomatic life puts on our relationships.

    Please join me if you’re ready to sit with some discomfort and to start a kind and honest conversation.

    Get me in your corner through my mentoring services. See link below.

    Mentioned in this episode:
    Esther Perel: IG @estherperelofficial
    Mark Groves: IG @createthelove

    Links:
    Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com
    Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
    Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog
    Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information
    Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/a-9Ss_GT8Ro

  • One of you – my awesome global audience – shared with me that you’d been enduring constant bullying, harassment and intimidation in your workplace. You shared that this appalling behaviour had left you feeling stressed, isolated and alone.

    During our chat, I asked: ‘Why didn’t you reach out to someone for support?’

    You answered: ‘I didn’t want to be a burden’.

    Let’s talk about that.

    Get me in your corner through my mentoring services. See link below.

    Links:
    Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com
    Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
    Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog
    Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information
    Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/7BjH1QiErAI

  • Let’s jump straight into 2021 and let’s have a chat about an issue that many diplomats who belong in a family or community all struggle with at some point:

    Should we do another posting?

    It’s a question that often brings our familial responsibilities and our work responsibilities into conflict.

    Remember to like, comment, share and/or follow!

    Get me in your corner through my mentoring services. See link below.

    Links:
    Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com
    Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
    Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog
    Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information
    Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/G_4y6hxjteQ

  • I’m all about helping you reconnect with yourself and the world around you as you lead your diplomatic life.

    What are your plans for Christmas this year? What were you hoping to do?

    Christmas – and any other event that brings friends and families together – can be hard when we’re so far away from home.

    Ironically, even when we are at home we can still feel like we’re not home.

    Then, throw 2020 into the mix and, well…

    Thank you for being here and letting me support you as you lead your diplomatic life in 2020. Stay safe, stay kind and stay awesomely yourself during the festive season. See you in 2021!

    Remember to like, comment and share!

    Links:
    Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com
    Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
    Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog
    Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information
    Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/2F5OTKE8CqM

  • I’m all about helping you reconnect with yourself and the world around you as you lead your diplomatic life.

    When one of you asked me for help with their feelings of being a fraud at work, I knew that my response would be helpful to many. After all, feeling like a fraud or an impostor is common among high achievers.

    What do you do when you feel like you’re a fraud or an impostor? Do you ‘fake it ‘till you make it’ and power through?

    How sustainable is that approach? Is it really working for you?

    Remember to like, comment and share!

    Links:
    Send me your question: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com
    Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
    Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog
    Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information
    Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/2170KubJIo8

  • I’m all about helping you reconnect with yourself and the world around you as you lead your diplomatic life.

    When one of you asked me for help and said that one of their biggest challenges was getting too many emails and worrying about missing something important, I provided this advice to them. I now provide it for you, too.

    Hint: It’s all about the emails and not at all about the emails.

    Remember to like, comment and share!

    Links:
    Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
    Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog
    Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information
    Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/HJgyeOyun2I

  • In a stunning example of gross diplomatic understatement, 2020 has been quite a year, hasn’t it?

    There have been life lessons aplenty. And for a blogger/podcaster on this diplomatic life, there’s always a rich vein of content from our collective experiences.

    We’ve all been tested in our own ways. That we’re still here with food in our bellies and roofs over our heads is in itself a worthy achievement.

    Let’s review 2020 and see what we can learn from it. I’ll go first.

    Remember to like, comment and share!

    Links:
    Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
    Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog
    Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information
    Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/G6X01i_0j2k

  • It’s great to be back!

    Let’s have a chat about my purpose: why I do what I do for you and other diplomats and those who live the diplomatic life.

    Remember to like, comment and share!

    Links:
    Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
    Blog: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog
    Want my mentoring services? Become a ‘Minister’ or ‘Ambassador’ member today at www.thelonelydiplomat.com/membership-information
    Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/_AG9SafgaME

  • After reflecting on our soulaches for the past few weeks, let’s have a chat about what gives us soulgasms and brings us joy as we live our diplomatic lives in this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast.

    Are you numbing, ignoring and denying your soulache as you live your diplomatic life and focusing only on that which brings you joy? Do you allow yourself to feel your soulgasms?

    Big question time. But let’s get you finding the joy in the everyday as you live your diplomatic life.

    Once you’ve listened to this episode, share your daily diplomatic soulgasms on Instagram. Simply use #diplosoulgasms and remember to tag @the_lonely_diplomat so I can see them too!

    Links

    Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
    Blog post: ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on our soulgasms’ at https://bit.ly/3b1ZN9v
    My book: https://amzn.to/3brZTXr
    Seminars, coaching and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services
    Got value from this episode and want to buy me a coffee?: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/buycoffee
    Subscribe: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe
    Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

  • There are fewer worse feelings than our own soulache. We can feel empty and at odds within our selves.

    A soulache develops when what we do is not aligned with who we are.

    This begs the question: Who are you?

    Let’s have a chat about your answer to this question.

    A soulache while living the diplomatic life can lead for some uncomfortable reckonings within us about what we do. I invite you to go somewhere quiet to listen to this episode so you can reflect on your own soulache.

    Links:

    Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
    Blog post: ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on our soulaches’ at https://bit.ly/2EH0lG5
    My book: https://amzn.to/3brZTXr
    Seminars, coaching and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services
    Got value from this episode and want to buy me a coffee?: https://www.thelonelydiplomat.com/buycoffee
    Subscribe: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe
    Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

  • Who gets lonelier: the posted diplomat or the accompanying significant other?

    I’m asked this question more than any other when people learn that I’ve twice been the posted diplomat and twice been the accompanying significant other during my 20-year diplomatic life.

    Let’s answer the question and investigate what it really means.

    Links

    Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
    Blog post: ‘The Lonely Diplomat: who gets lonelier: diplomat or spouse?’ at https://bit.ly/2DwtrqX
    My book: https://amzn.to/3brZTXr
    Seminars, mentoring and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services
    Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support
    Subscribe: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe
    Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

  • You know that I often recommend that we who live the diplomatic lives need to use social media for good. But was I using it for good? This question prompted my month-long detox from my personal social media accounts.

    I had two major insights during the detox. First, social media can be a powerful tool of connection when we use it mindfully. It’s an avenue for mindless consumption of ideas, thoughts and stuff when we don’t. Secondly, you and I get to decide who we let into our online lives, just like we do in our ‘real’ lives.

    Can you review who you’ve let into your online – and therefore, real – life? I reckon you can.

    Links

    Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
    Blog post: ‘The Lonely Diplomat: lessons from my social media detox’ at https://bit.ly/3fHdJXW
    My book: https://amzn.to/3brZTXr
    Dr Vivek Murthy ‘Together’: https://amzn.to/3exQE9T
    Seminars, coaching and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services
    Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support
    Subscribe: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe
    Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

  • Change is inevitable. Seasons change. Children grow up. People come into – and then leave – our lives. Why is it that I resist the changes I know that I must make in my own life, even when I know that I must change if I’m to evolve and grow?

    Why is it that we all do this? Change does not happen – within our selves or in society – from simply reading, listening and watching. Change comes from doing.

    Let’s do change together.

    Links

    Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
    Blog post: ‘The Lonely Diplomat: a letter to myself about change’ at https://bit.ly/2XM7vhQ
    My book: https://amzn.to/3brZTXr
    Seminars, coaching and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services
    Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support
    Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

  • Diplomacy and the diplomatic life can place enormous stress on our relationships, and yet we don’t tend to talk about what can happen when those relationships end. Why is that?

    My friend Katia Vlachos and I discuss breakups, separations and divorce in this episode. Katia has written some outstanding articles on the topic within the global expatriate community and shares some amazing insights with us here.

    About Katia

    Katia’s professional background is in policy analysis. She holds an MA from the Kennedy School of Government at Harvard and a PhD from the RAND Corporation. Katia is a seasoned expat herself, having lived in eight cities, seven countries and three continents in the past 20 years. She currently lives in Zurich, Switzerland.

    Her book ‘A Great Move: Surviving and Thriving In Your Expat Assignment’ is an indispensable resource for anyone who moves internationally.

    Her website is www.katiavlachos.com and her book can be ordered from www.katiavlachos.com/book

    Links

    Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
    Blog post: ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on breaking up’ at https://bit.ly/3frlGRH
    My book: https://amzn.to/3brZTXr
    Katia's 'Huffington Post' articles: https://www.huffpost.com/author/katia-vlachos-834
    Seminars, coaching and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services
    Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support
    Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

  • What can happen when relentless competition, isolation, power, ambition and expectations of constant high-performance mix? Abuse of power. Bullying. Harassment. Discrimination.

    It’s clear that some of you are going through – or have been through – hell as you live your diplomatic life. Let’s start some courageous conversations and expose the dark corners of our diplomatic workplaces where this appalling behaviour thrives.

    Links:

    Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
    Blog post: ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on bullying, harassment and discrimination in diplomacy’ https://bit.ly/3eAU4ZG
    My book: https://amzn.to/3brZTXr
    NZ Government workplace bullying site: https://bit.ly/2Kl8oYF
    Seminars and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services
    Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support
    Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

  • Social media is awash with tips and advice on how to survive and thrive through COVID-19 induced lockdowns and isolation. This episode focuses on serving and supporting you in a very practical way as you live your diplomatic life wherever you are in the world.

    These are extraordinary times and I know that those who live the diplomatic life are coping as best they can with what they have wherever they are in the world. Adapting and getting on with it is what we do. It’s an honour to serve you through these times.

    Links

    Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
    Blog post: ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on supporting you through COVID-19’ https://bit.ly/2Jkyo5M
    Jase Te Patu’s yoga on YouTube: https://bit.ly/3azrvcK
    Coaching, seminars and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services
    Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support
    Stay connected with me and my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe
    Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

  • Couldn’t you do with some more simplicity, calmness and rejuvenation in your diplomatic life?

    In ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on minimalism’, I wrote that my journey into minimalism started when I wanted to have less stuff to pack before a posting.

    Let’s have a chat about how we can make that you’re surrounded by people and things that restore, uplift and calm you in this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast.

    Links

    Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
    Blog post: ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on minimalism’ https://bit.ly/2TVyiql
    Coaching, seminars and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services
    Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support
    Stay connected with my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe
    Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com

  • Join me for a cup of tea with my friend Jase Te Patu as we talk about the superpower that is the practice of mindfulness.

    Following the blog post ‘Mindfulness and you’ - written by Jase (link below) - I’m eager to give you, my awesome audience of diplomats around the world, further support as you work to optimise your mental health and well-being as you live your diplomatic lives.

    About Jase

    Iwi - Ngāti Ruanui, Ngāti Apa and Ngāti Tūwharetoa

    Jase is an award-winning facilitator with over 25 years’ experience in the health and wellness sector. He is co-owner of Awhi Yoga and Wellbeing in Wellington, a teacher trainer, facilitator, keynote speaker and creator of M3. Jase’s students include the All Blacks, the Hurricanes, the Pulse, the NZ School of Dance contemporary students and many more high-performance athletes.

    Jase has received many awards for his work particularly in the mental health and well-being space. These include the NZ Exercise Industry Awards- Body/Mind Teacher of the year in 2018, the Lifekeeper’s Award for Suicide Prevention, the Regional Local Hero medal as part of the New Zealander of the Year Awards 2018 and the Absolutely Positively Wellington Award 2019.

    Jase is an Edmund Hillary Fellow and an Ambassador for international brand lululemon.

    Jase facilitates full and half day PD sessions for both Primary and ECE Teachers. He is also the creator of our M3 Video Resources for classrooms. M3 is a beautiful way for Jase to share all his skills with the tamariki of Aotearoa. His message can be seen in his popular kōrero at TedX Wellington.


    Links

    Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
    M3 Mindfulness for Children: www.m3mindfulnessforchildren.com
    Blog post: ‘Mindfulness and you’ https://bit.ly/31XnLi0
    Coaching, seminars and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services
    Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support
    Stay connected with my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/subscribe
    Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com