Episodes
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It’s time to have a kind and honest conversation in this episode of #thelonelydiplomatpodcast about a topic that makes many of you – my lovely audience – feel uncomfortable: loneliness.
Let’s have this conversation together. Let’s talk about how we can say that we don’t feel lonely, but recognise how we need for more real, authentic connection in our lives. Can it really work this way? Is it that we just want the fix but not admit we have the condition? This is a real opportunity lost.
I talk about the common responses I receive to when I admit that I have been lonely (and that I still feel lonely sometimes) and how we can all about connecting with others. Indeed, it seems that we rush to connect with others and the world around us but not spend time getting connected with ourselves.
Make yourself a cup of something nice and settle in for a chat. You may indeed be lonely, but you’re definitely not alone.
Links:
Book: https://amzn.to/2q5kNJf
Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
Blog post ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on loneliness’: https://bit.ly/36tzZAx
Blog post ‘Loneliness and the lack of real connection’: https://bit.ly/32iXlW9
Coaching and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services
Friends of The Lonely Diplomat: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/friends
Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support
The Lounge: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/thelounge
Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com -
The very words ‘mid-life crisis’ can induce feelings of angst, unease and a desperation to recapture what we feel that we’ve lost. We desperately do not want to be the stereotype, but sometimes a red sports car or the affair is too tempting.
But Dr Dougal Sutherland and I explore how we can face the thoughts and feelings that herald a mid-life crisis and use them to our advantage and conduct a useful evaluation of our life.
I also share how I desperately did not want to have a mid-life crisis, but it turns out that the chance to re-evaluate my values reconnected me back to me and to those around me.
Get a pen and paper now; you’ll want to take notes.
About Dougal:
Dougal is a clinical psychologist who teaches at Victoria University of Wellington and works for Umbrella (www.umbrella.org.nz). Dougal has worked with New Zealand diplomats helping with their resilience, mental health, and well-being.
Links:
Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
Blog post ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on mid-life crises’: https://bit.ly/2Z7C7x9
Coaching and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services
Friends of The Lonely Diplomat: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/friends
Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support
The Lounge: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/thelounge
Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com -
Missing episodes?
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Being a male diplomatic spouse sounds like the ticket to the sweet life, doesn’t it? There’s the chance to explore the city, learn new hobbies, play sports, meet others just like you.
Well, appearances can be deceiving. The lived reality can be very different. There’s social isolation that comes from having very few peers and living with being different to society’s expectations of a man’s role to contend with.
There is a way through, and to thrive, when being a male diplomatic spouse. It involves answering the question: from where do you derive your sense of self?
Simon is my guest in this episode, and he answers some of my questions about his thoughts about being a male diplomatic spouse through his experiences shared with us in his blog post ‘On being a male diplomatic spouse’ (link below).
You’re not alone. I’m here. I’m creating an environment to help diplomats and those living the diplomatic life reconnect with themselves and the world around them.
Links:
Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
Blog post: https://bit.ly/2Y2hxKI
Coaching and other services: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/services
Friends of The Lonely Diplomat: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/friends
Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support
The Lounge: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/thelounge
Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com -
Leaving a career to start afresh is scary. We leave behind a world we know for something that we don't. We must decide if the price of staying where we are is higher than the price of moving on. We must decide if the life we’ve built around our current job is worth risking for another.
And so it is with diplomacy. It can be a lot to give up, but sooner or later, we all reach a crossroads where the thoughts of staying or leaving occupy our minds.
What to do? Where to go? There’s so much to consider.
Angela Pickett is my guest on this episode and together we explore her decision to leave diplomacy after a 15-year career. If you’re thinking of leaving diplomacy – or any career – you must listen to this episode.
You’re not alone. I’m here. I’m creating an environment to help diplomats and those living the diplomatic life reconnect with themselves and the world around them.
About Angela:
Angela Pickett is a copywriter and aspiring novelist. After a 15-year career as a diplomat with postings in China and Vietnam, Angela decided to make a “vine change” and moved to the Barossa Valley. With her husband and two boys, she’s building a freelance lifestyle with time to cook, travel and explore while providing a taxi service to her boys growing list of sporting activities. In her spare time, she sits on the board of a local philanthropic foundation, is the treasurer for a local basketball club and has established a writing group. And because food and wine is such a part of the lifestyle, she can often be found at Crossfit or parkrun.
Go to www.angelapickett.com.au for more about her and her work.
Links:
Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
Blog post: https://bit.ly/2HaAg07
Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support
The Lounge: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/thelounge
Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com -
The life and career opportunities afforded by diplomacy are amazing and life-defining. Many of us keep looking for opportunities to work and live overseas to further our country’s interests and to satisfy our innate curiosity for how the world works. It's addictive.
But there is a cost to living this life, and sooner or later, we all must pay. And no, I don’t mean the financial cost. I mean the physical, mental and emotional cost that this diplomatic life demands of us all.
This episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast explores the price that we all pay for living this diplomatic life and challenges you to pay attention to, and get curious about, your complaints.
You’re not alone. I’m here. I’m creating an environment to help diplomats and those living the diplomatic life reconnect with themselves and the world around them.
Links:
Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
Blog post: https://bit.ly/32Tm0m3
Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support
The Lounge: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/thelounge
Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com -
Without doubt, social media has made our world smaller. We are more connected than ever. Our social media accounts have hundreds, even thousands, of our friends and other people we collect through life.
For those of us living the diplomatic life, social media is a real link to those friends and family members spread all over the world.
Why then do so many us feel so alone? Why are we in the grip of a ‘loneliness epidemic’?
This episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast investigates how we diplomats and those living the diplomatic life can use social media in a way that it feels like real connection, but it’s not. It’s ersatz connection.
Let’s talk about how we can use social media in a way that serves us and actively use it to connect with the people in our lives.
Links:
Blog post: https://bit.ly/2CKRvUs
Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
‘The Loneliness Epidemic’ (NPR ‘On Point’ story): https://wbur.fm/2NessjL
Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support
The Lounge: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/thelounge
Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com -
Something wonderful happens when diplomats and those living the diplomatic life get together. We are with people who understand; we are with people who get what this life is like. Without too much effort, stories of successes, near misses and disasters are shared.
This episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast looks at these stories and how they’re a valuable source of connection but can also evolve into competitive stories where we ‘one-up’ each other with our tales.
What happens when someone says something that could indicate that they’re not OK? What if their courage and bravery in admitting that they may be struggling – albeit subtly – is lost in a round of competitive storytelling?
What if the only people who really understand and can help us aren’t listening?
Links:
Blog post: https://bit.ly/2KB7JEw
Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support
The Lounge: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/thelounge
Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com -
If you’re a parent who’s also a diplomat or you’re the child of a diplomat, you need to hear this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast.
In my chat with Jaqueline Benndorf – herself the daughter of a diplomat and accomplished psychotherapist – we explore what her childhood and adolescence in a diplomatic family has meant for her throughout her life.
As parents, we all are doing the best we can for our children. Jaqueline and I provide some advice for those who are parenting as well as leading a diplomatic life and some advice for the children living a diplomatic life.
Jaqueline is wise, kind and extremely funny. The interview is emotional and very real.
Oh, and our collective wisdom combined with our awesomeness broke the internet at one point. Sorry about that…
Links:
Jaqueline’s blog post: https://bit.ly/2F7jeiw
Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support
The Lounge: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/thelounge
Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com -
In this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast, I talk about self-deprecation and my relationship with my friend Joe.
I wrote on this topic in ‘Are you the self-deprecating diplomat?’ (go to https://bit.ly/2JmB3Lx to read) and I wanted to talk more about self-deprecation and how it affects me.
Self-deprecation is nasty and insidious. It masquerades as good-humoured humility but hides our belief that we are not enough.
I explore the feeling that many of us have that we are frauds or imposters and that we will be found out at any moment and how some of us can fear being the tall poppy, but desperately want to be seen and recognised.
I see evidence of self-deprecation throughout diplomacy. I know that I’m not alone. You’re not alone, either.
Links:
Website: www.thelonelydiplomat.com
Please, support my work: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/support
The Lounge: www.thelonelydiplomat.com/thelounge
Contact me: admin@thelonelydiplomat.com -
On this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast, I speak with Mike Campbell on the power of the stories we tell ourselves.
I wrote on this topic in ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on the stories we tell ourselves’ (go to www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog to read) and wanted to discuss the power of these stories with Mike.
Each of us have stories that our minds scrap together to make sense of ourselves and the those around us. They are incredibly powerful, and we can build them into truths about ourselves and others. We rarely challenge them, even when they’re wrong.
Be sure to listen for Mike’s suggestions about how we can begin to question these stories.
ABOUT MIKE
Mike is a men’s coach, author and founder of The School of Personal Mastery coaching program for men. He’s also the creator of the interview show and events, Beyond The Beers. He brings easily implemented and effective personal development to everyday men who want to break free of the ordinary and achieve greater success in their career, relationships, and life – without the guilt and hang-ups. He challenges us in the most kind and supportive way imaginable. He will be a rock of certainty even when we’re not.
Mike is on a mission to change the narrative around masculinity and what it means to be a mature, strong, capable, compassionate, kind, and effective man.
More information: www.mikecampbell.com.au -
In this episode, we explore the concepts of stress and resilience. The interview follows my blog post ‘The Lonely Diplomat: on resilience – part 2’ (go to www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog to read). Alison and I have an enlightening discussion about her work as a Positive Psychology Practitioner and her work helping people to thrive under stress in a range of industries.
If you’ve ever been stressed, are stressed, or feel that you could be stressed soon, this episode is compulsory listening.
Alison has worked as a researcher strategist and positive psychology practitioner around the globe. She’s a Behavioural Strategist with Burns Group, a NYC-based brand transformation agency, and is the founder of BG Hatch, a think tank dedicated to solving the most complex problems in behaviour change, which brings together the leading academic and commercial minds.
Through BG Hatch she leads an ongoing collaboration with the Harvard Kennedy School and Harvard School of Public Health (HSPH) and is a repeat guest lecturer in HSPH Behavioural Economics class for the Public Health Masters, where she lets her geeky side shine through.
More information about Alison, her work and her excellent book, 'Tripowerment: The Why, The Will and The Way of Breakthrough Change' (which I’ll be coming back to soon), can be found at www.alisonearl.com. -
In this episode of The Lonely Diplomat podcast, we'll explore the concept of 'home' and what it means to diplomats. This is a topic I explored in my blog post 'The Lonely Diplomat: on home', published on 17 March 2019 (go to www.thelonelydiplomat.com/blog to read).
In this episode, you’ll hear a great conversation between me and Katia Vlachos, author of the fantastic book: ‘A Great Move: Surviving and Thriving In Your Expat Assignment’.
Katia and I chat about the topic of home and moving internationally. Specifically, we talk about why it’s important to be brave and to speak up when you’re not coping with a move (because you’re not alone); how to handle reverse culture shock and many other topics.
Katia’s professional background is in policy analysis. She holds an MA from the Kennedy School of Government at Harvard and a PhD from the RAND Corporation. Katia is a seasoned expat herself, having lived in eight cities, seven countries and three continents in the past 20 years. She currently lives in Zurich, Switzerland.
Her website is www.katiavlachos.com -
An open, honest and fun interview with Georgie Ryan, author of the 'Diplomatic spouses of the world, unite!' blog post on www.thelonelydiplomat.com. Georgie shares her thoughts and experiences from her 22 years of accompanying her spouse on diplomatic postings in Hong Kong, Canada, Turkey and South Africa.
A must-listen episode for diplomatic spouses and those that love them. -
It's time for some introductions: to me; my work and why I want to help mid-career diplomats reconnect with themselves and the world around them.
Go to www.thelonelydiplomat.com to learn more.