Episodes
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emotional exhaustion: a state of feeling emotionally worn-out and drained as a result of accumulated stress from your personal or work lives, or a combination of both. chronic state of emotional depletion. Allostatic load. compassion fatigue: “a state of exhaustion and dysfunction biologically, psychologically, and socially as a result of prolonged exposure to compassion stress and all it invokes." also called vicarious trauma. burnout: a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress Think of these as a spectrum. EE more from life stressors. CF/B more from work/responsibilities. EE could be from carrying unresolved trauma, stress overload, being out of alignment, living with or experiencing systemic oppression, late state capitalism, chronic stressors, being chronically dysregulated, Sx: apathy, withdrawal, isolation, exhaustion, soul tired, irritable, feeling stuck or helpless, not being able to do what you know would help, only paying attention to negative, headaches, tense muscles/sore body, trouble sleeping, brain fog, depression, numb, How to mitigate/fix Heal trauma. Rewire your mind for growth, healing, helpful thoughts. Cut out stressors/toxic people, things etc. Radical acceptance. Do whats useful to have done and possible to do. Learn to build a resilient nervous system. Mindset work. Journaling Process emotions. Make choices that create/maintain alignment Locus of control Do things that feel energy giving. Move well, eat well, sleep well. Connect with others. Set boundaries. Radical honesty. Radical accountability. Do work that feels purposeful. Let go of perfectionism.
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Trauma disconnects from self, leaves no room for exploration or building a self concept Dont confuse your occupation with your purpose You are what you love, not who loves you Healing means being the you that you've always been but didn't have the space to be because you had to survive. Authenticity and survival mode don't exist at the same time, because authenticity requires presence of safety. Ways to start exploring: MTBI test Enneagram test Human Design Astrology/Birth Chart Write down a list of things you enjoy or used to enjoy or think you might enjoy or that you enjoyed as a child Find a list of values, circle the ones that are important to you Know this is a life long journey unraveling who you are. Write down beliefs you hold and assess if those resonate Ask friends to describe you using five words
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Missing episodes?
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Most automatic things we do are conditioned responses that we learned during childhood, but they're no longer serving us. Until we are 6, we exist mostly in theta brainwaves, which is associated with a hypnotic state. We are the most suggestible we will ever be. Everything a child that young hears is taken as true, nothing is questioned. Most people then never question the programming they received as children. This is good for adults who need to teach a child how to behave in the world quickly, and not so good for the child that becomes the adult if they don't learn to question their programming. Some I come across often: You dont have to do something every day for it to be consistent, successful or effective. Your partner doesnt have to follow your schedule for your relationship to work. Love is not earned, but neither is it unconditional. You dont need permission to do thing you want to do. Just because someone disagrees with your choice, doesnt mean its the wrong choice. Your healing journey is your own and wont look like others. Youre allowed to disappoint other people when doing whats best for you. No one really gives a shit about what you're doing/no one notices/cares. You're allowed to change your mind. Quitting does not mean failing. You don't have to forgive people who have hurt you. Having an abundance of money doesn't make you evil. Life doesn't have to be hard. Relationships don't have to last forever to be good, and breaking up/getting divorced doesnt mean the relationship failed. How to break: Question and assess if your automatic assumptions are true, and even if they are true, are they helpful. Write down a list of beliefs you have about how people or the world "should" operate. Question these. When you hear a should, that's programming. Assess if your behaviors are actually getting you the life you want, if not theres programming to undo.
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Recap - over 900 therapy sessions 5 workshops Launched Boundaries Baddie Traveled to: Florida, Texas, Dublin Ireland, Florence Italy, Cuba, Decided to build a house we'll be starting this year. Established Lighthouse Energy as an LLC Completed 117 hours training in RRT, and about 50 more studying. Started working on Exhale & Release to get ready to launch next month. Worked with Andrea. Sabrina. Mahdi. 2024 plans. Word: Build. Committed. Intentional. Nurture. Plans: Go on a cruise to Mexico, Belize, Honduras. Go to Costa Rica. Perhaps Alaska or Bali or nowhere else. Go to Florida for RRT intensive in Jan. Get RRT specialist certification. Launch Exhale & Release. Launch a journal. Potentially launch grounded mornings. Bring on another therapist. Build the house. Thinking about doing a PhD program.
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I love when clients fire me (meaning graduate y'all, relax). In this series, I give you an inside look at what therapy's like by interviewing clients who have worked with me and graduated. They share their experience, what they learned and how therapy impacted their life. If you're looking into therapy, or you're just a nosey gremlin like me, you'll love this series. The intention for this series is to give you insight into what transformational therapy looks like, what can change in the course of working with a therapist and to demystify the process. Who better to tell you that than a past client. Let's party. Curious about working with me? Grab my free journal prompt here: www.livemyhappyhealth.com/selfcoaching Or sign up for Exhale & Release waitlist here: First Responders: www.exhaleandrelease.com/waitlistfirstresponder Healing: www.exhaleandrelease.com/waitlisthealing Website: www.livemyhappyhealth.com IG: @amanda_chils FB: @amandachilscoach
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Free Stuff: https://livemyhappyhealth.com/free I love when clients fire me (meaning graduate y'all, relax). In this series, I give you an inside look at what therapy's like by interviewing clients who have worked with me and graduated. They share their experience, what they learned and how therapy impacted their life. If you're looking into therapy, or you're just a nosey gremlin like me, you'll love this series. The intention for this series is to give you insight into what transformational therapy looks like, what can change in the course of working with a therapist and to demystify the process. Who better to tell you that than a past client. Let's party. Curious about working with me? Grab my free journal prompt here: www.livemyhappyhealth.com/selfcoaching Or sign up for Exhale & Release waitlist here: First Responders: www.exhaleandrelease.com/waitlistfirstresponder Healing: www.exhaleandrelease.com/waitlisthealing Website: www.livemyhappyhealth.com IG: @amanda_chils FB: @amandachilscoach
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Free Stuff: https://livemyhappyhealth.com/free Exhale & Release: www.exhaleandrelease.com If you've feel like practicing gratitude hasn't worked for you, you're probably right. And it's not you, its that the most common way doesn't work for everybody. There are a million ways to practice gratitude, but all I seem to see is gratitude lists. Well, just like there's a million ways to make a sandwich, there's a million ways to incorporate a gratitude practice. In this episode I talk about why the typical way - gratitude lists - don't work for some people and other ways to start a gratitude practice. How to make a gratitude practice work for you is the central question I answer in this episode, and I'd love your thoughts! Curious about working with me? Grab my free journal prompt here: www.livemyhappyhealth.com/selfcoaching Or sign up for Exhale & Release waitlist here: First Responders Track: www.exhaleandrelease.com/waitlistfirstresponder Healing Track: www.exhaleandrelease.com/waitlisthealing Website: www.livemyhappyhealth.com IG: @amanda_chils FB: @amandachilscoach
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Free Stuff: https://livemyhappyhealth.com/free I love when clients fire me (meaning graduate y'all, relax). In this series, I give you an inside look at what therapy's like by interviewing clients who have worked with me and graduated. They share their experience, what they learned and how therapy impacted their life. If you're looking into therapy, or you're just a nosey gremlin like me, you'll love this series. The intention for this series is to give you insight into what transformational therapy looks like, what can change in the course of working with a therapist and to demystify the process. Who better to tell you that than a past client. Let's party. Curious about working with me? Grab my free journal prompt here: www.livemyhappyhealth.com/selfcoaching Or sign up for Exhale & Release waitlist here: First Responders: www.exhaleandrelease.com/waitlistfirstresponder Healing: www.exhaleandrelease.com/waitlisthealing Website: www.livemyhappyhealth.com IG: @amanda_chils FB: @amandachilscoach
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Free Stuff: https://livemyhappyhealth.com/free Exhale & Release: www.exhaleandrelease.com There's a revolution and a reckoning coming in the leadership space. Incompetent leaders are no longer allowed to get away with mediocrity. Quality leadership requires so many skills. Embodying authenticity, emotional regulation, excellent communication, holding a vision - all these things combine into a leader that people are happy to follow. Kat developed her particular brand of leadership by going against the status quo - which we all know wasn't built for visionaries, marginalized identities or women who are fiercely themselves. Kat realized early that there was a place for leaders who operate from their heart, fiercely protect their people and hold the vision. Kat and I discuss being unemployable by most companies, because most companies are lead by authority figures instead of leaders. We discuss the importance of becoming and working with and for leaders who embody integrity, trust and service. The next generation of leaders lead with love, embody integrity and live their values. Tune in to hear our conversation about how to truly embody leadership. Website: www.livemyhappyhealth.com IG: @amanda_chils FB: @amandachilscoach
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Free Stuff: https://livemyhappyhealth.com/free I love when clients fire me (meaning graduate y'all, relax). In this series, I give you an inside look at what therapy's like by interviewing clients who have worked with me and graduated. They share their experience, what they learned and how therapy impacted their life. If you're looking into therapy, or you're just a nosey gremlin like me, you'll love this series. The intention for this series is to give you insight into what transformational therapy looks like, what can change in the course of working with a therapist and to demystify the process. Who better to tell you that than a past client. Let's party. Curious about working with me? Grab my free journal prompt here: www.livemyhappyhealth.com/selfcoaching Or sign up for Exhale & Release waitlist here: First Responders: www.exhaleandrelease.com/waitlistfirstresponder Healing: www.exhaleandrelease.com/waitlisthealing Website: www.livemyhappyhealth.com IG: @amanda_chils FB: @amandachilscoach
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Free Stuff: https://livemyhappyhealth.com/free Humans are the only creatures who can block themselves. Birds don't sit around thinking "oh I really want to fly to that branch, I wish I could get myself over there. I need to jump and then keep myself flying and if I could just get motivation to get myself there I would do it." While we're smarter than birds, sometimes I think birds are smarter than us in some respects. Humans, in our infinite complexity, can either get in our own way or systems and structures that humans create get in our way. So, lets discuss. So many of my clients want a bigger life, a more adventurous life, a better life and yet they struggle to manifest it. So I started thinking "ok what's in the way here" and after doing this for thousands of hours, these are the barriers my clients experience most. Website: www.livemyhappyhealth.com IG: @amanda_chils FB: @amandachilscoach
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Free Stuff: https://livemyhappyhealth.com/free I love when clients fire me (meaning graduate y'all, relax). In this series, I give you an inside look at what therapy's like by interviewing clients who have worked with me and graduated. They share their experience, what they learned and how therapy impacted their life. If you're looking into therapy, or you're just a nosey gremlin like me, you'll love this series. The intention for this series is to give you insight into what transformational therapy looks like, what can change in the course of working with a therapist and to demystify the process. Who better to tell you that than a past client. Let's party. Curious about working with me? Grab my free journal prompt here: www.livemyhappyhealth.com/selfcoaching Or sign up for Exhale & Release waitlist here: First Responders: www.exhaleandrelease.com/waitlistfirstresponder Healing: www.exhaleandrelease.com/waitlisthealing Website: www.livemyhappyhealth.com IG: @amanda_chils FB: @amandachilscoach
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Free Stuff: https://livemyhappyhealth.com/free I love when clients fire me (meaning graduate y'all, relax). In this series, I give you an inside look at what therapy's like by interviewing clients who have worked with me and graduated. They share their experience, what they learned and how therapy impacted their life. If you're looking into therapy, or you're just a nosey gremlin like me, you'll love this series. The intention for this series is to give you insight into what transformational therapy looks like, what can change in the course of working with a therapist and to demystify the process. Who better to tell you that than a past client. Let's party. Curious about working with me? Grab my free journal prompt here: www.livemyhappyhealth.com/selfcoaching Or sign up for Exhale & Release waitlist here: First Responders: www.exhaleandrelease.com/waitlistfirstresponder Healing: www.exhaleandrelease.com/waitlisthealing Website: www.livemyhappyhealth.com IG: @amanda_chils FB: @amandachilscoach
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Free Stuff: https://livemyhappyhealth.com/free I love when clients fire me (meaning graduate y'all, relax). In this series, I give you an inside look at what therapy's like by interviewing clients who have worked with me and graduated. They share their experience, what they learned and how therapy impacted their life. If you're looking into therapy, or you're just a nosey gremlin like me, you'll love this series. The intention for this series is to give you insight into what transformational therapy looks like, what can change in the course of working with a therapist and to demystify the process. Who better to tell you that than a past client. Let's party. Curious about working with me? Grab my free journal prompt here: www.livemyhappyhealth.com/selfcoaching Or sign up for Exhale & Release waitlist here: First Responders: www.exhaleandrelease.com/waitlistfirstresponder Healing: www.exhaleandrelease.com/waitlisthealing Website: www.livemyhappyhealth.com IG: @amanda_chils FB: @amandachilscoach
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Free Stuff: https://livemyhappyhealth.com/free Y'all, real talk. Talking to your friends, while it may be therapeutic, is not actual therapy. Also, your friends may be f *cking you up more! Yes friends listen, yes friends may give you feedback, yes friends may validate you and while all of that is wonderful, that's only part of the therapy process. So ok, let's talk about why you need an actual therapist and not just to talk to your friends. There is a REAL, MASSIVE difference between talking to your friends and actual therapy. On this episode I talk about the differences between venting to your besties and seeing a professional trained in trauma and rewiring your brain and nervous system. Website: www.livemyhappyhealth.com IG: @amanda_chils FB: @amandachilscoach
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Free Stuff: https://livemyhappyhealth.com/free Mindset is a funny thing, if you don't intentionally cultivate a growth focused mindset then it's exponentially harder to reach your goals. In fact, if you aren't intentional with your mindset, I can almost guarantee that you won't reach your goals, because mindset is the thing that makes or breaks people. Think about it this way, every goal is only a series of steps, but the difference between those who complete the steps and those who dont isnt a matter of ability, its a matter of mindset. So in that respect, mindset makes or breaks you. This episode is about mantras but its really about cultivating a mindset so strong Arnold Schwarzenegger is jealous. These non-negotiable mantras cultivate a mindset that makes everything else easier, because you stop spending precious energy second guessing yourself. These mantras become the foundation you build your success, happiness and growth on, and with a foundation like these, watch out world because you'll be unstoppable. Download mantras here: https://www.canva.com/design/DAFvM7AYl8Q/JOAtwMg485MkAJPnTlW9Pw/view?utm_content=DAFvM7AYl8Q&utm_campaign=designshare&utm_medium=link&utm_source=publishsharelink Website: www.livemyhappyhealth.com IG: @amanda_chils FB: @amandachilscoach
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Free Stuff: https://livemyhappyhealth.com/free Ask anyone if they like change, and chances are they're gonna say "I hate change." This thought, my sweet croiissant, keeps them (and you) stuck. One of the biggest secrets of success is not only embracing change, but actively choosing to change anything that's no longer serving them. When people say "I'm terrified of change" what they're really saying is that they're afraid what they'll change will be worse than what they have now. Most people are taught to be afraid of change, and they're brought up in a culture that tells people they're a victim, they're stuck and if it's not perfect then it's horrible. This is so damaging, and it doesn't have to be this way. You can control the changes you make. And I argue in this episode that the more changes you consciously, intentionally make, the happier you are. Website: www.livemyhappyhealth.com IG: @amanda_chils FB: @amandachilscoach
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Free Stuff: https://livemyhappyhealth.com/free Your first therapy appointment is the intake. This is where the therapist will ask a bunch of questions, get your history, why you're wanting to do therapy, what your goals are and all the jazz. The intake, for most people, feels pretty awkward. Yep, even when I did an intake with a therapist I saw after I ended things with my husband it was weird. Even so, they're necessary. Gotta start somewhere right? My intakes are pretty standard, but of course with some differences. In this episode I walk through my intake process: what to expect during a therapy intake, some insight about therapy in general. Hopefully, this episode helps you feel at ease, know whats coming and feel a little more ready to meet with your therapist. Website: www.livemyhappyhealth.com IG: @amanda_chils FB: @amandachilscoach
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Free Stuff: https://livemyhappyhealth.com/free Repeat after me: "I am not a burden. Relationships are supposed to be reciprocal." Sure you can try and go through life alone, but it's literally not possible. Humans have come this far only because we help each other. Hell, you didn't even come into this life alone, you were supported to come into this world and were supported to get to where you are now. Were you well supported? Maybe not. Maybe you learned early on that your job was to take care of others. Maybe you learned early on that the way to create safety or to get love was to be useful and to not be a burden. How clever of you then to become very independent, and perhaps now those same skills aren't necessary. Mind works in some specific ways to ensure our survival, and becoming hyper independent to the point where asking for help or accepting help feels like eating a jar of mayonnaise that's been left out in the sun for a few hours is a trauma response. Somewhere along the way you learned that you couldn't trust others or rely on them. Makes sense then, not so useful now. This episode will help you reprogram that so you feel comfortable accepting help and building reciprocal relationships. Website: www.livemyhappyhealth.com IG: @amanda_chils FB: @amandachilscoach
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