Episodes
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Season 3 of This Song Sucks ends on a bittersweet note. The release day of this episode is the one-year anniversary of the passing of our friend Bryce Montgomery. Luckily for you, dear listener, Josh, Hayden, and Gabe Hostetler joined Bryce last year to record this sometimes uncomfortably deep dive into Kid Rock's "Cowboy."
The episode is chaotic at times, but the hallmarks of close friendship are apparent: minor insults are hurled, self-deprecating jokes are cracked, and full body laughs take up literal minutes of run time in this super-sized episode. We hope that anyone who listens is reminded to cherish the time they have with their loved ones. We also recommend that you make that time as silly and unserious as possible.
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Josh, Hayden, and guest host Sarah Ferguson may have made an idiotic decision with this week's episode. That's right folks, we've decided to risk our own safety by dumping on Taylor Swift's truly irredeemable hit, "ME!" You may never hear from us again after this, so we hope you remember us fondly if the Swifty horde (or her dad Kingsley) takes us out.
Sarah is truly baffled that Swift keeps winning awards for her singing, Josh does his best Brendon Urie and Bon Iver impressions, and Hayden begins assembling his dream cast for the inevitable Swift biopic.
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Missing episodes?
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Perennial favorite Blaine Duncan and new guest Kevin Halbrook join Josh to help dissect Lee Greenwood and his god-awful hit "God Bless the USA." Misplaced national pride, faux working-class imagery, and a healthy dollop of jingoism: what more could you ask for in the favorite song of the Republican National Convention.
Josh can't get over the shitty production quality, Blaine distinctly remembers hating the song as a young child, and Kevin explains why it's the perfect song for right-wing crazies everywhere.
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Guest host Jay Burgess brings in quite a doozy this episode with "Sunglasses at Night" by Corey Hart. That's right folks: we're taking a trip to the '80s! Put on your Member's Only jacket, get yourself a toot of the devil's dandruff, and listen to the fellas take down this garbage song.
Jay stands flabbergasted at the incomprehensible lyrics, Josh points out some undeniable similarities to other popular songs of the day, and Hayden goes on the hunt for some bags of milk.
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Natalie Morrow is back and this time she's bringing the hate for Matchbox Twenty's "Unwell." Even though she's in total agreement with Hayden and Josh on how much this song sucks, she still finds a way to put them in their place.
Natalie focuses her ire at the terribly milquetoast chorus, Josh consider the banjo a total non-sequitur, and Hayden finds a way to be annoyed by Josh even while unconscious.
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Lindsay Palinsky joins Hayden and Josh to lend her dance expertise for the trio's takedown of everyone's least favorite group dance songs. What do The Chicken Dance, Cotton Eye Joe, The Macarena, and The Cha Cha Slide have in common? They all suck, of course!
Josh is on his usual BS about "musical" issues, Lindsay has flashbacks to her bat mitzvah, and Hayden finds a way to talk about strudels again.
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Hayden and Josh slip the ol' Birkenstocks back on for this episode as they are joined by Elizabeth Hafner to discuss "Come Original" by 311. All three hosts apologize to their middle school selves, but it's hard not to dunk on a band whose music and lyrics are as stale as their bong water.
Josh thinks the song is a haphazardly slapped-together collection of unfinished ideas, Hayden agrees that the song sucks but admits to kind of liking it, and Elizabeth can't help but dish out zinger after zinger aimed at what we assume is the saddest fan base in existence.
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Folks, we may have jumped the shark with this one. Can we even be considered a music podcast anymore with the amount of restaurant talk in this episode? Probably not, but I don't think you can blame us considering today's subject: "Fancy Like" by Walker Hayes, or, as it's known throughout most of the world, "That Stupid Applebee's Song."
Blaine Duncan returns and does not disappoint with his pointed barbs aimed straight at this song's idiotic lyrics, Josh finds a way to make both a racial critique AND a capitalist critique (what else is new), and Hayden ends up with a hankerin' for some tasty apps from one of America's most beloved restaurant chains.
Thanks to Sarah Ferguson for the episode art. At this point, she may be the only thing keeping our social media accounts afloat. Check her out on Instagram @pedgiree_chum.
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Don't take us to a disco! We don't wanna hear any of that tango nonsense either because this week we're taking on Bob Seger's "Old Time Rock & Roll." Hannah Hayes joins us again to discuss how such a great artist could come up with this bland, loud, and boring turd of a song. More importantly, Hayden and Hannah come up with an idea for a podcast discussing the luxurious locks of our favorite musical artists, which is a probably a better idea for a podcast than this one. Whoops!
Thanks again to Sarah Ferguson for the episode art. She sure is pretty damn good at this kind of stuff, so make sure you check her out on the 'Gram @pedgiree_chum.
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We're finally back! It only took us a year since the last episode, but This Song Sucks Season 3 starts with a bang. Hayden, Adam, and Josh finally take on one of their personal shibboleths: Eric Clapton and his absolute trashcan of a song Wonderful Tonight. Is it creepy? You bet. Does it suck? Hell yes.
Thanks to Sarah Ferguson for the episode art. Make sure to check her work out on Instagram @pedgiree_chum.
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Positivity reigns in this super-sized bonus episode: These Songs Slap Vol. 2! Cole Smith joins Hayden and Josh to discuss "Mythological Beauty" by Big Thief and "Waltz No.2 (XO)" by Elliott Smith. Serious music analysis abounds in this episode, but the fellas somehow find a way to steer the conversation towards cheap beer and jalapeño poppers. Season 3 drops soon, so let this tide you over until then.
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The boys are joined by Gabe Hostetler this week to take a trip back to middle school, which is about the time when people thought "It's Been Awhile" by Staind was a good song. This is a doozy of a season finale as all three of the fellas livd, laughd, and lovd mightily during the episode.
Much time is spent poking fun at the ripped-off Korn riffs of early Staind, but the hosts do eventually talk about "It's Been Awhile", coming to the conclusion that the song is just a gray, flavorless pile of slop.
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Austin Lancaster joins Josh and Hayden to pick apart the karaoke favorite "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey. Does everyone love this song for some reason? Yes. Does that automatically make it good? Heck no.
Austin takes us into his past to explain why the song holds a particularly hated place in his heart, Josh unearths some questionable bass playing, and Hayden is pretty sure that Journey's manager was actually a cast member on Seinfeld.
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The boys are joined by Soapy Jones this week for a discussion of one of her least favorite songs, "Pour Some Sugar on Me" by Def Leppard. Or is it by Motley Crüe? Does it even matter when the song sucks this much?
Soapy thinks that the entire song must have been recorded in an airplane hangar, Josh whips out the ol' axe to poke fun at the backing guitar, and Hayden asks what is probably the most important questions of our time: what the hell is Dokken?
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Josh and Hayden get taken down a peg or two by this week's guest host, Natalie Morrow, as they discuss Billie Eilish's hit "Bad Guy." This one is sure to appeal those of you that aren't big fans of Josh or Hayden (i.e. most of you).
Josh stands alone on his island of criticism as Natalie chooses to enjoy the song for what it is and Hayden changes his mind about the song after seeing the music video. There is one thing they can all agree on though: ToeJam & Earl kicks ass.
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Guest host Bo Hicks joins the boys this week to share in his hatred for Weezer's only top ten single "Beverly Hills." Don't worry Weezeheads: there's plenty of Pinkerton talk before the fellas start dunking on this Stinkerton of a song.
Bo (like many fans of early era Weezer) feels betrayed by this song, Hayden finds an odd comparison for the shitty guitar solo, and Josh finds an opportunity to talk about how much he hates the sound of children singing for the second week in a row.
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Lindsay Palinsky returns to the podcast to rail against her least favorite song from her least favorite musical: "Tomorrow" from Annie. She brings along her good friend and fellow musical theater nerd Toby Singer to explain why this song, and the musical in it's entirety, just plain sucks.
Josh hates the awkward rhythms, Toby explains how this song has ruined the voices of many aspiring stars, and Lindsay adds some new vocabulary for describing one of Josh's least favorite sounds: children singing.
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Old time buddy Cole Smith joins the pod this week to hate on Aerosmith's "Dude Looks Like a Lady." Even at 13 years old, Smitty knew this song sucked.
Josh hates the lazy ass horns, Steven Tyler's mouth noises ruin Hayden's weekend, and Cole takes the boys on several imaginative rides as he speculates on what was happening in the studio to make this band crank out the load of horseshit that is this song.
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Blaine Duncan is back on the pod y'all! One of our favorite guest hosts returns to talk with Josh and Hayden about Hanson's super annoying hit "MmmBop."
Join the boys as they take a deep dive into suburban Tulsa to talk about the Hanson brothers' musical beginnings as well as their more recent cringe-worthy use of social media. Josh finds plenty of musical qualities in the song to hate, but Hayden and Blaine focus on the non-sensical lyrics. Blaine also reveals his favorite act from the 1996 Wisconsin State Fair.
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Josh and Hayden are joined by guest host Hannah Hayes to discuss the veteran jam band Phish. Hannah hates these guys so much she couldn't pick just one song to dismantle, so her and the boys talk about "Chalk Dust Torture", "Tweezer", and "Suzy Greenberg."
Hayden tries desperately to defend the band while Josh blasts the band's incessant repetition and milquetoast grooves. Hannah draws from a vast array of food-based metaphors to make fun of the band, which of course drives Hayden towards one of his favorite topics: Guy Fieri. Stay tuned until the end to catch a dramatic reading of some spicy Phish/Fieri fan fiction. This episode doesn't just get off the rails: it blows up the daggum tracks.
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