Episodes
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Wow. It’s here. One of the best representations of what Turd Night is all about: Love, passion, betrayal, football tosses, plastic spoons, and a motionless pug on a countertop. That’s right, it’s The Room! We’re talking all things Tommy Wiseau, Academy Award snubs, Paul Giamatti, absurd dialogue, and all The Room facts you can stomach. Today’s Turd Calls is with the Room fanatic Deidre Scott!
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Did you love E.T.? I’ll bet you did. Did you love it so much that you would want to see it butchered at the hands of lesser filmmakers? Probably not. Sound familiar? It’s Mac and Me this week on Turd Night. This week we dive in on Stewart Raffill’s filmography, the disgusting looking aliens, launching a kid off of a cliff, becoming an American citizen, and an ending that will make you BOO the screen. Erin Murphy returns for Turd Calls on this episode, too!
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Missing episodes?
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There are several tiers of Turd Night movies and this movie is up on the top shelf. Samurai Cop is an unintentionally hilarious romp full of bad wigs, poorly choreographed fight scenes, and some of the worst ADR dubbing around. But we absolutely LOVED it and we think you will, too! We dive deep this week and talk about the infamous wig, Amir Shervan’s filmmaking career, one and done takes, and who the biggest scene stealer might be between Steve the Cop, the Costa Rican waiter, and the stuffed lion’s head.
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From the jungles of the Amazon to the streets of Los Angeles, the lambada knows how to get the people GOING! This week on Turd Night, we dove into the sneakily addictive, 1990 lambada dance movie: the Forbidden Dance. We discuss the visible camera dolly, Jeff James’ current career, belly button switch blades, safe sex, and Menahem Golan’s relentless movie producing spree. Special thanks to Erin Murphy for the recommendation and for being the first person to be featured on the new segment, Turd Calls!
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Welcome to Jasper, Missouri, where tempers are runnin’ hot and the whiskey is runnin’ low. Patrick Swayze IS the coolest person in this movie (and possibly to ever exist). That’s right, we’re talking about the 1989 classic Road House! Join us, Tim and Dan, as we discuss incognito monster trucks, Sam Elliot’s pubes, shirtless Tai Chi, throat rips, and how often people have to sweep up eyeballs at the end of the night.
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Batman vs The Joker, David vs Goliath...Wesley Snipes vs Sylvester Stallone! This week on Turd Night we re-watched the futuristic/action/(comedy?) Demolition Man. Join us this week as we discuss cryogenic freezing, San Angeles, Stallone as a comic actor, how you ACTUALLY use the three seashells, and how on fire Sandra Bullock was in the early 90’s.
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Turd Night is biting back this week with a thriller you’ve probably seen before: Deep Blue Sea. Is this a Turd? Well, Samuel L Jackson plays a rich investor who has tasted human flesh, Thomas Jane is a shark wrangler with a prison record, and LL Cool J is a cook who used to be a preacher (who everyone calls “Preacher”)! Turns out, it most certainly is a Turd.
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This week on Turd Night, we flew from the top turnbuckle and dropped a big elbow onto No Holds Barred (aka Hulk Hogan giving an acting lesson on how to bring it!) Anything is better than Howard the Duck, and so is this movie; Hulk Hogan plays a wrestler who fights someone named Zeus...and maybe that’s all you need to know about it. We discuss Hulk Hogan’s musical album, Dan’s love for wrestling, the infamous “dookie” scene, Hulk Hogan’s ethnicity, and what it means to speak Hulk Hoganese.
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For the first time, we accidentally watched a non-Turd on Turd Night. Meaning = we DON’T recommend watching this movie! Which movie? Howard the Duck. Yikes. Unless you love to be punished with duck puns and disturbing Duck/Human relationships. This week on Turd Night, we talk about a snake named Steven, Ed Gale’s Hollywood dreams, duck boobs, Howard the Duck’s wallet condom, and George Lucas’ biggest regret of his career.
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We thought Showgirls was a bad movie, but that was before we watched Showgirls 2: Penny’s From Heaven. This movie is a re-telling of Showgirls but without the budget, camera gear, lights, microphones, heck, throw in any piece of a film set and they probably didn’t have it! This week on Turd Night, we talk about almost dying from laughter, stripping for a “Hollywood Producer,” Yoshinoya, UCB Improv, and what the Magic Castle is really like.
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Some Turds are cult classics, and Showgirls is one of the biggest. Famously hailed as “one of the worst movies of all time,” which we’ve certainly heard before, so we decided to deep dive into the strange world of seedy Las Vegas strip clubs, audition nipple ice, eating doggie chow, Kyle MacLachlan’s pool decor, and what it means to be from “different places!”
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We never thought we would see the day where a Matthew McConnehey movie made it to Turd Night. We also never thought Anne Hathaway would be standing right next to Matty M in said movie, but here we are! We watched 2019’s “Serenity,” thanks to a strong recommendation from Cousin Ben. Join the madness when we discuss national Tom Cruise day in Japan, a tuna fish named ‘Justice,’ full body jiggles, cash for murder, and speculate on the origin of the stinky celebrity.
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This week on Turd Night, we dive in on the sequel to the 90’s smash hit “Speed,” which is of course named “Speed 2: Cruise Control.” Instead of a bus, it’s a boat. Instead of Keanu Reeves, it’s Jason Patric. Join us as we discuss the cleanliness of motel bed sheets, how Tom Cruise can’t throw a baseball, the REAL reason why Jason Patric might be such a daredevil, inappropriate relationship with a deaf child, and how Roger Ebert defended his review of Speed 2 until his dying day!
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This week on Turd Night, we go in on James Nguyen’s Hitchcockian wet dream “Birdemic: Shock and Terror.” Join us as we discuss downtown car sex, foreground salsa bowls, motel bed covers, meeting Tom Cruise, and how hanging out with your family can be a parrrrrtaaaaaayyyyyy!
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More Nic Cage? Yes, please. This is one of the most accessible Turd Night movies because it has something for everyone: helicopters, grown men screaming at each other, and stuffed bunnies. That’s right, it’s “Con Air!” We discuss John Malkovic’s yell-talking, bad guy nicknames, a semi-famous background gleeker, the food that is killing Baby-O, and how Nic Cage PERFECTED his southern accent.
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This week on Turd Night, we accompany a brave documentary crew in the Amazon jungle as they try to avoid Jon Voight’s leers and giant snake hugs. It’s “Anaconda.” We discuss off-screen vs on-screen Anacondas, how to properly pronounce “trachea,” how Tim got savaged by Fred Savage, Eric Stoltz’ illustrious career, and how much we LOVE Jon Voight as Paul Serone.
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Our fourth podcast episode focuses on a small island in the Pacific Northwest; a quaint place where women are named after plants and flowers while Nicolas Cage goes on a rock’em sock’em rampage. That’s right, it’s “Wicker Man.” We discuss fighting in flip-flops, a shark in a bag, the Day of Tomorrow, Neil LaBute’s editing room scraps, and how Aaron Eckhart had one line of dialogue and was never seen again!
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It’s our first (and definitely not the last) time we discuss the King of Turd Night movies: Nicolas Cage. He’s driving straight to you in a car he stole (from Hell) in “Drive Angry.” We discuss Nicolas Cage’s albino cobras, quitting your job fantasies, Nic Cage’s sunglasses while he’s fornicating, cars vs dogs, and how easy it is to give away a baby!
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Welcome back to Turd Night! In this episode, we dive head first into the shallow waters of the mid-90’s, action-packed, ”Broken Arrow.” We go all in on the Bronx Tale door test, illegal boxing between Airforce pilots, John Travolta’s butt massage, smoking in Scientology, and how John Woo doesn’t own a car!
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In our debut episode of the Turd Night podcast, we honor the classic 1988 martial arts thrill-ride that started this whole adventure: Bloodsport. Join us, Tim and Dan, as we discuss how Tim used to have an English accent, Frank Dux’s 72 mph kick, blind tea service, Jean-Claude Van Damme’s whole ass, and all the Donald Gibb bromance you can handle!
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