Episodes
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Welcome to the fifth episode of our new podcast, Don’t Change a Thing, sponsored by BetterHelp, the online, accessible therapy site. Visit Betterhelp.com/dontchange and use promo code: dontchange to try BetterHelp today.
In this NEW episode of our podcast, "Don't Change a Thing," Elisa and Lily reconnect with actress Victoria Pedretti who previously sat down with them for an episode of “What’s Underneath.” Victoria—star of Netflix’s “The Haunting of Hill House,” “The Haunting of Bly Manor” and “You”—has recently been making waves on Broadway in “An Enemy of the People.” She dives into her experience of facing an audience on stage where—unlike in the TV world—you don’t receive constant validation, and discusses both the vulnerability and the sense of sturdiness she’s had to draw upon within herself.
Returning to theater has reignited Victoria’s ferocious passion for her work—she views acting as a powerful role, with her duty to tell the audience the story as best she can. There’s no space for her to be blasé or insecure, and she’s simultaneously quit weed to help her be even more present to life. Victoria has been advocating for her dreams while refusing to fall into the trappings of fame—in fact, she was at her most miserable when her life appeared the most glamorous—and her commitment to storytelling above all is what drives her forward.
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Welcome to the fourth episode of our new podcast, Don’t Change a Thing, sponsored by BetterHelp, the online, accessible therapy site. Visit Betterhelp.com/dontchange and use promo code: dontchange to try BetterHelp today.
In this NEW episode of our podcast, "Don't Change a Thing," Elisa and Lily sit down with Mara Hoffman, the groundbreaking sustainable fashion designer who recently made the tough decision to shutter her eponymous label of 24 years. Mara, who worships women, reflects on the joy she’s received over the years celebrating all bodies with her inclusive clothes as she grappled with being a cog in the wheel of a highly harmful industry that is reluctant to change—even though she proved sustainability is possible—and doesn’t prioritize our planet.
In this episode, Mara discusses how reconnecting with nature and using psychedelics gave her permission to unplug from the system and use her innate artistry in other ways that won’t add more stuff to the earth. We also dive into how courageous it is to let go of what's defined you as a person—your whole identity—while seeking freedom, growth, and beauty in the unknown.
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Missing episodes?
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Welcome to the third episode of our new podcast, Don’t Change a Thing, sponsored by BetterHelp, the online, accessible therapy site. Visit Betterhelp.com/dontchange and use promo code: dontchange to try BetterHelp today.
In this NEW episode of our podcast, "Don't Change a Thing," Elisa and Lily sit down with Jordan Underwood, a queer, trans, non-binary activist, model, and dancer who shares their experience being an active, healthy fat person who developed Lipodema, a disorder that led them to gain 150 pounds and become immobile. Jordan reflects on the mistreatment they’ve faced in the healthcare system due to their fatness and reveals how dangerous it is when doctor’s don’t believe their fat patients.
In this episode, we discuss the pervasive fatphobia in society within this ‘post body positive world’, the cultural obsession with thinness and recent rise in diet culture, and the vital importance of creating an inclusive society that honors and listens to the experiences of people of all bodies.
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Welcome to the 2nd episode of our new video podcast, ‘Don’t Change a Thing’!
In this episode, Elisa and Lily sit down with Sonya Renee Taylor, author of seven books including the best-selling The Body is Not an Apology, on her journey from life collapsing around her in 2020 to finding the ultimate home in herself through the power of radical self-love.
In this transformative conversation, Sonya shares her journey from surviving to thriving by tending to herself and her grief.
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Welcome to the relaunch of our podcast, with a new name, ‘Don’t Change a Thing’, sponsored by BetterHelp, the online, accessible therapy site. Visit Betterhelp.com/dontchange and use promo code: dontchange to try BetterHelp today.
In our premiere episode, we sat down with the legendary B. Akerlund who has styled Madonna, Lady Gaga, Beyonce and more. We first featured her 10 years ago in our Closet series and caught up with her today to talk about aging, motherhood, her career, rejecting the pressures of productivity and more!
Plus, we unpack key takeaways from B’s interview and explore additional insights you won't want to miss.
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In this week’s episode of our podcast, former Fashion Stylist turned Radical Dance Teacher, Kate Shela, wants to be seen for exactly who she is, no matter the “risk.” She exchanged her career in fashion and the dream of being a professional dancer (both paths that relied on achieving unattainable ideals of external perfection) for the rewards of healing herself and others as a teacher of the legendary 5 Rhythms dynamic movement practice, a method of dance that allows people to embody their whole, messy, imperfect selves. In keeping with her courage to tear off masks, Kate dared herself to see herself when she chopped off her hair on both sides and let it go grey, a turning point that had her feeling truly beautiful for the first time. Today, at 48, Kate feels as though she is just beginning, as she steps into the vulnerability of launching her own form of dance classes and immersions called The 360 Emergence: “The work is about how to help people come out of their own closet, their own spaces of shame, into a space of sharing and thriving.”
From Fashion Stylist to Radical Dance Teacher, the topics covered in this episode include:
Working in London’s fashion industry during the creatively expansive 1980’sMaking the change from telling stories through clothes to telling stories through danceOvercoming negative self-talkDance and creative outlets as saviors and overcoming shameHow shaving your hair changes people’s perception of youEmpowered at 48 years old and embracing gray hairStepping into your calling by taking a riskThe “problem” of being “too much” and not fitting into a boxBeing of service in your professionStarting your own businessStepping into courage and fearWe’d like to extend a special thank you to sponsor, Mad Hippie, for supporting our movement and helping to bring this episode to life. Cruelty-free and committed to reducing the world’s carbon imprint, Mad Hippie believes that high-quality ingredients should be affordable and that taking care of your skin should be protective, nourishing and restorative. Like StyleLikeU, Mad Hippie was born with a “buck the establishment” manifesto and a belief that we must treat ourselves and our fellow beings with love and respect, regardless of gender, race, orientation, age, location...or even species. For one month following the release of this episode, Mad Hippie is offering StyleLikeU viewers 20% off of their orders by using the coupon code STYLE at checkout. https://www.madhippie.com/
If these stories are transformative on your own journey towards acceptance, please consider becoming a member of StyleLikeU on Patreon so that we can build a world where everyone feels comfortable and safe in their skin. To join the movement, head over to https://www.patreon.com/stylelikeu
And if you know anyone who would be empowered by this story, please share and be a part of spreading the message that true style is the result of radical self-acceptance.
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Elisa and Lily sit down with inspirational stylist, fashion consultant, author, magazine editor, and former co-host of What Not To Wear, Stacy London.
Style by fire, Stacy’s trademark “Morticia” gray streak grew in when she was eleven and she has been refusing to hide it ever since. But it isn’t until turning 50 that she is actually having a midlife Renaissance in her Princess dresses and finally feeling a deep comfort in her skin. She is coming into her own having done life her way; not married, without kids and never having had a conventional job. This after a lifetime of eating disorders under fashions unforgiving lens as a Fashion Editor at magazines like Vogue and as a superstar TV host of “What Not To Wear.” “Beauty is about love and contentment,” is Stacy’s new mantra.
This week’s topics include:
reconnecting to personal style after What Not To Wearcombatting the invisibility of women over 40lost in your 20’sfinding yourself at 50feeling like you have to say yes when you should say nogrieving a parenteating disorders and body dysmorphiamenopause and self-acceptance through agingthe humiliating pain of psoriasisVogue and the fashion industrythe brutally rigorous life of being a reality TV starThis episode is brought to you by Chantelle Lingerie. Our listeners can take advantage of free shipping by going to chantelle.com and using the coupon code STYLE.
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Their own hero, Janaya’s all-black uniform can be packed in 7 minutes flat in case they are called to the front lines as an activist and organizer, where they have the responsibility of redirecting rage and rallying community around politically and socially charged moments. You will also find them wearing black in the boxing ring, where they have learned to punch without apology and where they have found refuge as a black, queer, non-binary person in an inclusive space. Janaya’s heroic qualities are also pronounced by their title of Futurist, which was given to them by members of the Black Lives Matter chapter in Toronto (which they co-created). Janaya speaks to communities around the world about the need to communicate and listen to one another despite the insidious Racism, Bigotry, Transphobia, and Islamophobia that runs rampant in our society. Without communication, they believe we will stay in the same cycles of separation and segregation. Despite a traumatic childhood, or perhaps because of it, living to bridge differences and create more understanding between people of all walks of life is perhaps what most makes Janaya the superhero that they are.
This episode is brought to you by Chantelle Lingerie. Our listeners can take advantage of free shipping by going to chantelle.com and using the coupon code STYLE.
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Relinquishing shame and stepping into her fullest self is what impersonating others did for Chloe Fineman once she discovered comedy. But her journey to this comfort within only came after lots of zigs and zags. For years, Chloe struggled to fit into a traditional acting career that demanded she shrink herself both literally and figuratively to fit into a waify ingenue “hot girl box.” But a bout with anorexia followed by a chapter of overeating ice cream and blowing out her thyroid led to a dramatic weight gain that became the turning point in Chloe’s path towards fully owning her inner-clown. Today, with an arsenal of wigs, Chloe prides herself on the contribution to society that she makes by embodying the tragic flaws of problematic white women, like Ivanka Trump and Elizabeth Holmes. Feeling the most beautiful when she’s doing her work, Chloe is a tour de force of comic relief, healing pain with lots of laughs.
“When I'm doing something where I feel like I'm talented when I'm doing the thing that I love to do and I know that I have a skill at...I'll usually feel really beautiful. I think that's a good way to navigate your relationships; who sees you as beautiful in that or who sees you in a selfie?”
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Born in Kenya of Maasai and Kikuyu roots, Neema Githere has faced the harsh realities of growing up in racist America and, at 21 is proudly living the life of her choosing. With her crown of Bantu hair knots and rainbow braids, she had the smarts to get into almost every ivy league school from a small town in Colorado, where she was feared and fetishized for her difference. She later had the bravery to drop out of Yale in favor of a life outside the systems that oppress her, upon realizing that she was unhappy in an elitist academia that is the very bastion of colonialism. Already living the happy ending, Neema is learning about radical love and transcendence from the ancient philosopher Rumi as a means of dealing with the pervasive triggers of systemic racism, traveling to every corner of the world, and is a curator at The Africa Center in NY, where she curates the portal program, ’an internet you can walk through’ that allow us to connect to people everywhere, free from digital algorithms.
“Not only is yale on stolen land but it is upheld by the labor of black people and by separating itself as an elite institution against the masses of people who lack access to these institutions. It became a lot for me to weigh in my head; how can I have this revolutionary heart and spirit and intention and still be so deeply entrenched in this institution that's trying to assimilate me into a place of "upwards class mobility" at the expense of my psychological health and cultural health.”
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The objectification of women, as represented by the sexualization and thus censorship of their breasts, is such a profound form of systemic oppression that Sister Leona sees no other route to liberation than to rip off her shirt, tap into her inner superhero and take to the streets in protest. Her goal is to get the Equal Rights Amendment into the Constitution and showing up topless outside of the Kavanaugh Supreme Court hearings and getting arrested is not Leona’s only rebel cry. A mustache and goatee that she draws onto her face exaggerate the extreme hypocrisy of what is acceptable for a man to do as opposed to a woman. And her flamboyant hats and swashbuckling trousers make it loud and clear (in the name of all women) that Leona will not be shamed for anything that makes her power and expression as a woman shine as bright as possible.
“To sexualize means to make sexual. It's something you do to somebody else. And that's a choice. Guys are like, ‘Okay, well, what if I think that she's sexy?’ And I'm like, ‘It's okay what you think, but she doesn't need to know what you think. And also what you need to know is that she's a multitude of other things. Her sexuality is just one aspect of her being.’ Also, women's breasts have nothing to do with sex. All human breasts are categorized the same in medical science, which is as a secondary sex characteristic. That same categorization on men's breasts does not mean that they have to cover their breasts. So you can see it's just a means of oppression.’’
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Founder of The Wu Tang Clan, Rapper, Producer, Musician, Actor, Filmmaker, Author, Writer and soon-to-be creator of a TV show about his life, RZA (aka Robert Fitzgerald Diggs) is all grown up. From wearing army fatigues in the 90s, which represented the militant mindset that initially brought RZA to superstardom, the icon has emerged in 2019 as a Renaissance man who appreciates the reverence that comes with the occasional suit and tie. Among the many insights that RZA lets us in is on how he has remained comfortable in himself amidst the bright lights of Hollywood. Further, he shares how the passing of his mother brought him from the spiritual audacity of being lost in a God complex in his 20s, to the spiritually awake place he exists within now.
“I think ‘comfortable’ is more like ‘at ease’ and when you’re ‘confident,’ you actually are not at ease. You are putting on a strength that you have to pump up for. ‘Comfortable’ is when could just fall asleep on a roller coaster… At the end of the day, I could care two cents less if you ever take a picture of me. I'm in this for the expression that was built in me. After everything that I've done in my life, and the moments of pride that I felt from my mom, being able to provide for my family economically, now it’s more for me to know that what I'm doing, each footprint that I'm putting down, is leaving a footprint for someone else to walk that path.”
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Co-creator, writer and director of HBO’s High Maintenance, Katja Blichfeld shares the agony and ecstasy of what has been a lifetime of coming to terms with her queerness. After going to an Evangelical Christian school as a child, Katja deeply struggled to honor the natural impulses of her sexuality. In her mid-thirties, during her marriage to High Maintenance Co-Creator Ben Sinclair, a full-on depression (amidst the height of her career success and her dream job) propelled Katja to claim the truth of who she was. Now, with a skip in her step and in love with a woman, the baker-turned-casting director-turned-TV empresario vouches for the beauty of following your heart, twists and turns included.
“It took me almost 40 years before I could be comfortable with the fact I'm a queer person...and because of my religious indoctrination, I think I was unable to be truthful with myself about who I really was and what kind of a life I wanted to live. That's the biggest way that rules and the binary and this whole notion of right and wrong have harmed me.”
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In a world that is quick to judge and fear the other, Lebanese filmmaker Pam Nasr doesn’t want to overlook the many ways we can communicate and seek bonds without words, whether it be through the food we share or how we dress. When she walks down the street in bold colors or flaunting her strong legs, Pam’s style screams, “I love life” and “I want to connect.” Growing up in Dubai with a dad who gave her the space to push boundaries and wear mini-skirts in a country that is more conservative due to its tradition has given Pam the grit needed to take risks. After her initial soiree studying fashion in London, Pam followed her gut and moved without barely a moment of hesitance into filmmaking in New York to produce her first feature short, Clams Casino. Addressing the complexities of finding connection and expressing love, whether on social media or in real life, Clams Casino explores the tensions between a mother and daughter (mirroring her own personal story with her mom) through the lens of Mukbang, a phenomenon in South Korea where people seek intimacy though eating on the internet.
“I love to be loud in the clothes I wear. I love that if I'm wearing a jacket you could see it across the room or across the street because, hopefully, it creates an interaction with someone...when you're not pushing people away you are in this world together that automatically means that you love the world, you love your life if you love people, because we don't live alone in this world.”
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“When is it enough?” Amy Yeung has been asking herself this since becoming a mom 18 years ago. Now 55, Amy feels like she is a “naked baby chasing butterflies…every day is so much fun.” Amy already knew how to build success the consumerist way, with a big-brand career designing fast fashion destined for landfills. But following a breakthrough moment in the Moroccan desert, she turned her back on being a designer of disposable fashion in favor of creating success with a conscience. Her company, Orenda Tribe, upcycles old textiles and reimagines vintage. Creating her own smaller, sustainable business has given Amy the wings needed to pursue her greatest calling, using any excess funds made from her sales to give back to the grave and underexposed inequities of her Navajo community. And by way of her giving back, re-integrating with her indigenous origins and family has set Amy onto a path of possibly her greatest healing, one of decolonizing herself and re-connecting to her roots that were once lost when she was adopted as a baby.
“Part of my brain operates on success and trying to push ahead and make things bigger. I meditate every day on how to keep it small because enough is enough. We don't need to have these huge houses and these huge lives. If anything, I'm trying to make my life smaller and smaller and more meaningful as I get towards the end and think if I have less stuff I can give more of myself.”
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From her grade-school role of “goth weirdo” among a sea of blond hair and floral dresses to playing a myriad of stereotypical Asian-best-friend parts in Hollywood, Korean-American actress and performance artist Vivien Bang has struggled to be seen and heard for who she is. It wasn’t until Vivien began to listen to her inner voice, which included a deep dive into her roots, that she came to realize that she could be the hero of her own story. This super power has guided her to release traditional binds of security and redefine success on her own terms. Now secure in the insecure, Vivian has had the courage to make the choices that scare her the most, walking away from the man she loved because she didn’t want children, instead manifesting White Rabbit, the movie she made about her life, which debuted at Sundance in 2018.
“For so long I've been trying to take up space and to be heard, you know? I mean, it's funny because like, I think in the beginning my struggle was like, to figure out what I wanted to be, like what I wanted to say. And then so much of my time was like, "How can I be heard? How can I be seen?" And right now I'm in this like, weird phase of, I just want to kind of listen, you know, like, have a deeper sort of listening of what, I don't know, the universe wants to tell me what I'm trying to tell myself.”
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23-year-old cultural activist Kamil Oshundara invites you to judge her by her cover. An open book when it comes to expressing herself, Kamil’s body is her altar and she is continually designing it as a means of altering perceptions and making it clear that she is her own person and not anyone’s product. With a rage that is love, Kamil’s authentic tattoos, markings, jewelry, and piercings, honor the richness of indigeneity, her Yoruba religion, her ancestry, gender fluidity and a “don’tmess” confrontation with Western beauty standards. A spoken wordsmith, queer curator, and cultural exec at Monkeypaw Productions (‘Get Out’ and ‘Blackkklansman’), Kamil’s life is her art. Likening herself to a tree with her emerald green hair as the canopy, her brown skin as the bark, her feet planted on the ground as her roots, and her strong branches that cannot break, Kamil knows who she is.
“A lot of people say, ‘don't judge a book by its cover.’ It’s a very popular saying but I always say that I design my cover to be read very intentionally. I want you to be able to get a pretty good sense of me. I'm very comfortable with writing on my walls and revealing myself. Showing is radical. I'm never trying to hide. You can't unsee me. I’m here.”
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Often while riding her Harley Davidson and always driven by her immense love for this planet and the cultures that inhabit it, there is almost no wild and untouched place on this planet to which Betsy Huelskamp has not traveled. Despite having practically no time to train, and facing life-threatening hostility from the men around her, she reached over 27,000 feet on Mount Everest. In this episode, Betsy talks to us about the Death Zone on Everest, the life-changing empowerment of riding a motorbike, the devastating losses of loved ones she’s experienced along the way, and how her faith keeps her tirelessly pushing boundaries. For Betsy, getting older means growing into her freedom, even if it comes with a price.
“People see me as being this wild easy going free spirit. But "free" has a price and you can't be free, truly free if you're trapped in your own body's prison. You can't be free if you're addicted to something that controls you, like drugs. You can't be free if you're in a marriage that is somehow turning into your jail. So for me, I'm always focusing on keeping my little girl free.”
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Superstar fashion stylist turned apothecary healer, Lysa Cooper, reminds us of the authentic New York of yesteryear, a time when phones were at home and ‘living in the moment’ was the only place to be. A time when style had less to do with shopping than enhancing our experience of ourselves and those around us. She talks candidly about leaving home at 14 for the Big Apple in the 90’s, the pitfalls of our modern celebrity-and-phone-addicted culture, and starting a whole new chapter in her 50s.
“I've already been at the best party. I've already had the best lovers. I've done it all and the only thing that now impresses me is the new, the invigorating, the enlightened, and the light itself. So, in relationship to me also starting a new career, I'm looking for a new perspective in community and love and even in a partner.”
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Ilma gore is an Australian-American artist and activist whose work is such a true expression of who she is that she is willing to be banned from the internet and beaten up for her beliefs when it comes to her art. The loss of her parents, a home and any sense of stability at a young age is what she attributes to her ability to be so liberated in her life from fear. “Life and death are the same to me,” Illma states. Some of her political-centered work hones in on the obsessive significance placed on our sense of self-worth based on our body parts. Well known for her highly provocative portrait of President Trump with a small penis, Illma explains that it is not about degrading Trump, but exploring the enormous significance placed on the size of his, or anyone’s, genitals, as a sign of power and status.
“I think that we put a lot of pressure on what we look like...there's so much tied to it, especially with women and the oppression of women and skin color. Everything has to do with stereotyping and the way we look and these pieces of my art are supposed to be a direct recreation of that exact reaction.”
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