Episodios

  • Have you ever wondered why your hair fell out after your baby died? Or why your skin looks gray? Why you feel like grief physically aged you?

    It's because it DID... kind of.

    Physical appearance might seem like a silly thing to worry about after your baby dies, but not recognizing yourself in the mirror is horribly depressing.

    In this episode, we speak to board-certified dermatologist Dr. Lawrence Green about how grief and stress affect your physical health. He also shares with us how to take care of yourself as best you can when you have very little energy, and ways that a dermatologist can help you feel more like YOU again.

    :::

    This episode is sponsored in memory of Lily! You can sponsor an episode of As Long As I'm Living ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠.

    :::

    Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
  • It's Aiden's 4th birthday, and for the first time since he was born, Judith is planning to go to work on the day.

    It might not sound like a big deal to some (especially those of you who HAD to work on previous birthdays), but it feels like a big deal to us. There are not many things that we keep sacred in our grief, but the birthdays and death anniversaries have (so far) been two of them. Not so anymore.

    Big feelings all around... and shout-out to Taylor Swift for all of the songs we reference in this episode that help us talk about these big feelings.

    - "It only hurts this much right now, is what I've been thinking the whole time."

    - "I love you. It's ruining my life."

    - "A lesser woman would've lost hope; a greater woman wouldn't beg. But I look to the sky and say... please."

    - "Isn't it just so pretty to think, that all along there was some invisible string tying you to me."

    :::

    This episode of As Long As I'm Living is sponsored in memory of Isabel Poppy! We'll post a bit more about Isabel on our Instagram this week.

    :::

    Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
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  • We need a minute, post-election. We're going to take a couple of weeks off and re-group, but we'll be back soon with regular episodes!

    Xo, Judith and Alina

    :::

    Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
  • It's our podcast anniversary! We're celebrating this year by taking a look back (well, listen back!) at old episodes and seeing how our lives have changed.We want to hear from YOU! How has your life changed since you started listening to the podcast? Send us a DM on Instagram, either using text if you want us to read your update, or a voice note if you want us to include your voice in the episode!:::This episode is sponsored in memory of Frank! You can sponsor an episode of As Long As I'm Living https://buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast/e/270151.Frank's family wanted to give a shout-out to the https://www.childrenshospital.org/programs/roberts-program, which investigates sudden unexpected death in pediatrics. (We love the Roberts Program!):::Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at https://buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast/membership OR buy buying our MERCH at https://www.bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast/!:::Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/aslongasimlivingpodcast/, send us an email at mailto:[email protected], or visit us at https://anchor.fm/aslongasimliving! We would love to hear from you!:::As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.--- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support

  • About a year ago, Judith and Alina joined Rob and Chris of the Sad Dads Club for a super fun and casual Instagram live!

    We talked about the legacy of our respective loss work (ALAIL and SDC), how our grief has changed over the years, finding a grief support tribe, and so much more.

    If you'd rather watch this Instagram live, you can do so HERE!

    We'll be back with a regular episode next week!

    :::

    Things we talk about in this episode:

    - The Sad Dads Club (website, Instagram)

    - ALAIL | The Sad Dads Club

    - ALAIL | Father's Day Wishes from the Sad Dads Club

    :::

    Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
  • This week's episode was originally going to be about many things, but once we got started, we realized that there is one topic that we needed to talk about: abortion.

    We discuss the implications of restrictive abortion laws, the personal nature of abortion decisions, and the importance of voting to influence reproductive rights. We cannot emphasize enough the need for equitable access to this very important type of healthcare.

    Two notes:

    1. If discussing abortion access is triggering to you because of the nature of your loss (i.e. TFMR), we welcome you to skip this one. It is all we talk about.

    2. If you support limiting or eliminating access to abortion and would like to discuss this with us, we are open to that, but please use our Instagram DMs instead of a public comment. We do not want the folks in #1 to have any more exposure to these viewpoints than they already do.

    :::

    Previous episodes of As Long As I'm Living about abortion or TFMR:

    - Abortion is Healthcare

    - TFMR is Baby Loss, with Hadley's Mom Jill

    - When "Choice" Doesn't Feel Like a Choice, an interview about TFMR with Adelyn's Mom Alyssa

    - Maliyah's Story, as told by her mom, Emily

    - When Your Pregnancy is Killing You, an interview about TFMR with Emily, Maliyah's Mom

    Abortion Information and Resources:

    - Guttmacher Institute

    - CDC Abortion Findings and Reports

    - AbortionFinder.org

    - Center for Reproductive Rights

    US Voting Resources:

    - Vote.gov

    - Vote.org

    :::

    Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠⁠⁠⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠!

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
  • Are we... happy?

    Welcome to our most recent life update, where we talk about how completely, permanently fucked up we are... and also how much joy we have in our lives in a way we haven't since Aiden and Quinn died. Both/and.

    :::

    Things we talk about in this episode:

    - ALAIL | Opening a Time Capsule (and the Instagram post where you can see Judith and Aiden at the coffee shop)

    - ALAIL | The One Where Judith Made a New Friend, an interview with Judith's friend Mel

    :::

    Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠⁠⁠⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠!

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
  • Meet Marnina!

    Judith and Marnina have known each other for 15 years... but they didn't really know each other until they each lost a baby.

    Judith lost Aiden first, and when Marnina lost her daughter Michal the next year, Judith became a lifeline for her. This was incredibly meaningful for Judith, who had needed so much care and support from others over the previous year and finally got a chance to pay it forward.

    Now, Marnina is a few years out, and she channels the way Judith cared for her as she pays it forward to the newly bereaved in her community. The circle of loss is a devastating, beautiful thing.

    :::

    This episode is sponsored in memory of Harper, on her second birthday. You can sponsor an episode of As Long As I'm Living ⁠here⁠.

    Harper's mom Erin wanted to shout out a few organizations that have been meaningful to her since Harper's loss:

    - @KindermournCLT: KinderMourn is an absolute lifesaver for families who have lost children. They have an annual Duck Race every year that celebrates all babies gone too soon.

    - @Madelynsfund: Madelyn's Fund supports NICU families in NC and SC. They paid our funeral costs when Harper died.

    - @SaylorsStory sends beautiful, meaningful comfort bags to Moms.

    - @MotherofWilde - creates the most beautiful prints. We have one hanging in our front foyer of our sweet girl.

    - @evolvehealthclt_supportgroup is a monthly group in Charlotte open to moms who have been through any type of loss. Dr. Sydney Fenton is a huge advocate here for the loss community and the group has brought some amazing moms together.

    You can connect with Harper's Mom (and receive a free copy of the resource guide she's put together for loss parents for Harper's first birthday) here: [email protected]

    :::

    Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠⁠⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠⁠⁠!

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
  • In case you missed it, Alina is pregnant! And it's hard.

    She went on a vacation a few weeks ago and faced her first "pregnancy after loss" gauntlet of questions that were well-meaning but ultimately extremely triggering. Listen to find out how she dealt with it, and to hear what advice Judith has for her and others in similar situations.

    :::

    This episode is sponsored in memory of baby Arthur! You can sponsor an episode of As Long As I'm Living here.

    Arthur's favorite book: The Moon is Always Round

    Lyndi asked us to shout-out her favorite loss organization, Return to Zero Hope!

    :::

    Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠⁠!

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
  • Judith gave birth to her baby boy a few weeks ago, and while the birth was smooth... the subsequent hours and days were not. It was extremely traumatic for both Judith and Alina, who were acutely reminded that babies can and do die.

    Thankfully, Judith's son got great care and is alive and well, and they are adjusting to life at home as a family of 5ish (2 adults, 1 dead child, 2 living children, and 1 dog).

    This episode was recorded on the day after Judith's birth, while she was in the hospital, and it was all very fresh. We hope you enjoy this episode, but it is pretty raw, and for those with NICU trauma may be triggering. As always, please take good care of yourself and only listen if it feels safe for you.

    :::

    Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠!

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
  • Yes, this is a pregnancy announcement ♥️

    :::

    Things we talk about in this episode:

    - ALAIL | Breathing After Loss, an Interview About Parenting After Loss with Zayn's Mom Katie

    - ALAIL | First Time Moms for the Second Time, More About Parenting After Loss with Zayn's Mom Katie

    :::

    Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠!

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
  • Today on the podcast, we're welcoming back our resident grief therapist: Dr. Denise Mandel!

    We talk to Dr. Denise allllll about support groups. What are they, how do they help, how can you find one? We also talk about why some people DON'T like support groups, and other ways that you can find support in your loss if the group you tried to join isn't working.

    Dr. Denise is actively recruiting for a new baby loss support group, so if you've been looking for a kind, supportive provider and a warm, welcoming group of bereaved parents... this is your sign! Reach out to her at [email protected].

    :::

    Things we talk about in this episode:

    - @griefwithdrdenise on Instagram

    - ALAIL | An Incomparable Loss, an interview with Christine, Miranda's Mom

    - ALAIL | Grief Needs a Witness, an interview with Dr. Denise Mandel

    - ALAIL | There Are No Silver Linings, an Interview about Making Meaning in Grief with Dr. Denise Mandel

    :::

    Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠!

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
  • Hi all! It's a holiday week here in the US, so we're taking the opportunity to release an Instagram live we did back in May to the feed.

    In this live, we mainly talk about a then-recent episode of the podcast in which we tell the stories of our losses. If you haven't listened to that episode yet, listen HERE and then come back and listen to all the commentary :)

    If you'd rather watch the Instagram Live instead of listening to it (highly recommend), you can do that HERE!

    We'll see you back here next week with a brand new episode!

    :::

    Things we talk about in this episode:

    - ALAIL | Long Story Short, I Survived

    :::

    Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠!

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
  • In this episode, Judith talks about how she's prepping as she approaches the birth of a (hopefully alive) new baby.

    How is she thinking about naming her son, after her first son died? What of Aiden's clothes will she put on the new baby? Will she do the same religious traditions, in the same way? How is her mental health?

    Preparation for a new baby is always a huge undertaking, but it's even more intense when one of your babies has died.

    Update: Judith's baby was born, and he's alive!

    :::

    Things we talk about in this episode:

    - ALAIL | Maybe Baby (Judith in labor with her daughter)

    :::

    Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠!

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
  • We are honored to be joined on the podcast today by Emily, Maliyah's Mom, to talk about her TFMR (termination for medical reasons) last year. In our previous interviews about TFMR, the parents have had to make the decision to terminate due to their baby's own serious condition(s). In this case, Emily had to choose a termination to save her own life and lost her daughter in the process.

    This is a crystal clear example of how abortion is healthcare. Emily's pregnancy was killing her, and there was no way to save both her baby and herself. This conversation feels more important than ever with the continued attacks on reproductive healthcare in many states here in the US.

    Thank you for listening with an open heart to Emily's story, and thank you Emily for your vulnerability.

    Note: We separated out the majority of the medical details of Maliyah's birth into a separate episode for those of you who find pregnancy complications triggering. To listen to that episode for all of the context, go back one in your podcast feed!

    :::

    Things we talk about in this episode:

    - ⁠HELLP syndrome⁠ - Hemolysis, Elevated Liver enzymes, and Low Platelets syndrome

    - ALAIL | ⁠TFMR is Baby Loss, an interview with Hadley's Mom Jill⁠

    - ALAIL | ⁠When "Choice" Doesn't Feel Like a Choice, an interview about TFMR with Adelyn's Mom Alyssa⁠

    - ALAIL | ⁠The Stillbirth Specialist, an interview with OBGYN Dr. Heather Florescue (Part 1)⁠

    - ALAIL | ⁠From the Other Side of the Stirrups, another interview with OBGYN Dr. Heather Florescue (Part 2)⁠

    :::

    Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast OR buy buying our MERCH at bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast!

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
  • We are honored to be joined on the podcast today by Emily, Maliyah's Mom, to talk about her TFMR (termination for medical reasons) last year. In our previous interviews about TFMR, the parents have had to make the decision to terminate due to their baby's own serious condition(s). In this case, Emily had to choose a termination to save her own life and lost her daughter in the process.

    This is a crystal clear example of how abortion is healthcare. Emily's pregnancy was killing her, and there was no way to save both her baby and herself. This conversation feels more important than ever with the continued attacks on reproductive healthcare in many states here in the US.

    Thank you for listening with an open heart to Emily's story, and thank you Emily for your vulnerability.

    Note: This episode contains the majority of the medical details of Emily's TFMR, and if you find pregnancy complications triggering, we recommend you skip straight to the next episode in which we speak with Emily more broadly.

    :::

    Things we talk about in this episode:

    - HELLP syndrome - Hemolysis, Elevated Liver enzymes, and Low Platelets syndrome

    - ALAIL | TFMR is Baby Loss, an interview with Hadley's Mom Jill

    - ALAIL | When "Choice" Doesn't Feel Like a Choice, an interview about TFMR with Adelyn's Mom Alyssa

    - ALAIL | The Stillbirth Specialist, an interview with OBGYN Dr. Heather Florescue (Part 1)

    - ALAIL | From the Other Side of the Stirrups, another interview with OBGYN Dr. Heather Florescue (Part 2)

    :::

    Support As Long As I'm Living podcast at ⁠buymeacoffee.com/alailpodcast⁠ OR buy buying our MERCH at ⁠bonfire.com/store/alailpodcast⁠!

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
  • The statistics about freak accidents, rare diseases, and the astounding unlikelihood of your baby dying are comforting... until you're the one in a million that has a bad outcome.

    Our attitudes about statistics have changed. Let's talk about it.

    :::

    Things we talk about in this episode:

    - The Miscarriage Odds Reassurer

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
  • Listen to Part 1 ⁠HERE⁠ and Part 2 HERE.This is the last part of our interview series with Judith's sister Ilana about how their relationship has changed since Aiden died. In this part, Ilana gives advice for friends and family of grievers for making their griever feel supported.

    We're using a framework for life transitions Ilana mentions in a later episode by ⁠⁠Bruce Feiler⁠⁠:

    - The Long Goodbye: where they mourn the "old" relationship

    - The Messy Middle: in which they shed old habits and create new ones

    - The New Beginning: in which they live into the new version of their relationship

    Grab your tissues. This series is a tear-jerker.

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
  • Listen to Part 1 ⁠HERE⁠.This is part 2/3 in our interview series with Judith's sister Ilana about how significantly their relationship changed after Aiden's loss.

    We're using a framework for life transitions Ilana mentions in a later episode by ⁠Bruce Feiler⁠:

    - The Long Goodbye: where they mourn the "old" relationship

    - The Messy Middle: in which they shed old habits and create new ones

    - The New Beginning: in which they live into the new version of their relationship

    Grab your tissues. This series is a tear-jerker.

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support
  • For the next 3 weeks, we're interviewing Judith's sister Ilana about how their relationship was affected after Aiden died. The effect was significant.

    We're using a framework for life transitions Ilana mentions in a later episode by Bruce Feiler:

    - The Long Goodbye: where they mourn the "old" relationship

    - The Messy Middle: in which they shed old habits and create new ones

    - The New Beginning: in which they live into the new version of their relationship

    Grab your tissues. This episode (and the subsequent ones, too) is a tear-jerker.

    :::

    Follow As Long As I'm Living on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@aslongasimlivingpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, send us an email at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, or visit us at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠anchor.fm/aslongasimliving⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠! We would love to hear from you!

    :::

    As Long As I'm Living is a podcast about life, love, and laughter after infant loss. Judith and Alina are rebuilding Happier Ever After one day at a time despite excruciating grief and trauma and offering support to grievers of all flavors, but especially those who have lost a baby to SIDS, infant death, birth accidents, stillbirth, TFMR, ectopic pregnancy, or miscarriage.

    --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/aslongasimliving/support