Episodios
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Intuition can manifest as a sudden, sharp knowing or as a slowly dawning certainty.
Regardless of its speed, intuition carries a powerful sense of knowing, signaling us on a deep level, "Hey, pay attention. I have something to say."
Intuition is a powerful force rarely spoken about openly. And when it is talked about, intuition is often seen as a vague, almost mystical whisper rather than a credible guide.
What if embracing your intuition could lead you to tap into more of your power? What if, instead of dismissing odd symptoms or vivid dreams as mere quirks, you recognized them as valuable messages from your inner self and learned how to decode them?
What if you could refine your intuition so it becomes a helpful guide when you need it most?
Today, we’ll explore how we can reclaim this essential part of ourselves and recognize intuition not as a mystical or unreliable force, but as a skill that integrates our most profound wisdom into our everyday lives.
We’ll debunk two harmful myths about intuition and then I’ll guide you through an exercise to help you reclaim your wise, intuitive self.
Listen to the full episode to hear:
How our cultural emphasis on rationality and logic disconnects us from our intuition from a young ageWhy intuition acts as a complement to, not a competitor of, data and logicHow intuition reflects our experience and ability to recognize patterns in the world around usHow we can compensate for implicit bias in our intuitive thinkingHow intuition helps our “emotional radar” and supports our relationships with others and ourselvesA practice of listening to your yes and no to help you tune into your intuitionLearn more about Valerie Black:
The Change AgencyBecoming Power NewsletterCoachingResources:
Sister Outsider: Essays and Speeches, Audre LordeSources of Power: How People Make Decisions, Gary A. KleinBlink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking, Malcolm GladwellThinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel KahnemanEmotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, Daniel GolemanThe Language of Emotions: What Your Feelings Are Trying to Tell You, Karla McLaren -
This year, I’ve spent a lot of time feeling lost.
Since my layoff, I’ve been planting seeds and imagining myself into many new life shapes, wondering which seeds will take root.
This darkness can feel fruitful but can also be disorienting.
Recently, sitting in a coffee shop, feeling overwhelmed, a friend said to me, “You already know how to grow, even when you think you don’t.”
Could that be true? Deep down, is there a part of me that knows the way? Are we like acorns, carrying a quiet map, guiding our growth, even when the path seems obscured until we become an oak tree?
Can I tap into my intuition to help me through this challenging time?
Questions like these led me to ask today’s guest on the podcast.
Charlie Claire Burgess is a trans, nonbinary artist, author, and creator of tarot decks and I wanted to ask this excellent maker about their relationship to their inner life and intuition.
Charlie works at the intersection of tarot, spirituality, and queerness and is the author of Radical Tarot and the creator of the Fifth Spirit Tarot and Gay Marseille Tarot decks. Their second book, Queer Devotion: Spirituality Beyond the Binary in Myth, Story, and Practice, is forthcoming in 2025.
Whether you're new to tarot or not, Charlie's insights will inspire you to trust your intuition and take control of your journey of growth and power.
Listen to the full episode to hear:
How Charlie started coming back to their spirituality and embracing their true self after years of self-abandonmentHow tarot is a tool for externalizing thoughts and feelings to give them new awareness and perspectiveWhat Charlie had to unlearn about work to honor and support their creativityThe practices that help Charlie ground in their spiritualityHow tarot can be an opportunity to create agency rather than using Tarot as a predictive toolWhy following your intuition also means permitting yourself to screw upLearn more about Charlie Claire Burgess:
The Word WitchInstagram: @the.word.witchLearn more about Valerie Black:
The Change AgencyBecoming Power NewsletterCoaching -
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After a recent bout of contending with my own perfectionism, I had a profound realization.
Perhaps calling myself a recovering perfectionist is incorrect.
Maybe my perfectionism isn’t something that I need to fix about myself. Perhaps the work is more about recognizing when I’m disconnected from my wise self and deploying the right tools to get back on track.
What if we’re all just perfectly imperfect works in progress? And what would it take for us to cultivate deep self-compassion when perfectionism shows up in our lives?
Today, I invite you to join me in this investigation of your perfectionism with a heart full of compassion for yourself and the messy, imperfect process we all go through.
Through mental rehearsal, or cognitive priming, I’ll lead you on a thought experiment designed to help you loosen your grip on perfectionism and move closer to right-sizing your effort.
This journey is about understanding and supporting yourself through the messy, imperfect process we all go through. (And how we can still get great results along the way!)
Listen to the full episode to hear:
Defining the spectrums of perfectionism and perfectionism’s underlying “promise”Differentiating between beneficial high standards and stress-inducing patterns and behaviorsThe benefits of mentally rehearsing a potential scenarioA thought experiment to help you lower your internal bar and half-ass itLearn more about Valerie Black:
The Change AgencyBecoming Power NewsletterCoachingResources:
The Multidimensional Perfectionism ScaleThe Gifts of Imperfection, Brené BrownThe Perfection Trap: Embracing the Power of Good Enough, Thomas CurranThe Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power, Katherine Morgan Schafler -
Are you a perfectionist?
Has anyone referred to you that way before?
As a coach, I understand that the desire to “get it right” plagues most of us in some way. And these tendencies can be especially pernicious when working on something that matters to us a lot. The tug-of-war between our aspirations and our current level of skill or ability can stop us before we even really get started.
So when I came across writing instructor Amber Petty’s provocative invitation to half-ass your writing to manage the perfectionism demons, I had to know more.
In this episode we delve into Amber’s strategies for dealing with perfectionism, how she learned to reset her internal bar and “half-ass it,” and how this shift in mindset has not only transformed her career but also unleashed her creativity.
Amber Petty helps creatives say “yes” to their ideas, get bylines, and build audiences. After 13 years as a professional actor, Amber moved into freelance writing, working for the New York Times, Parade, Bustle, and more. She has also helped over 1000 students get bylines, start writing (for actual money), and begin newsletters to build a platform for their writing careers.
Listen to the full episode to hear:
How Amber has learned to question her inner critic and build real self-trustHow she realized that giving 100% all the time wasn’t realistic or even desirableHow she uses deadlines to “outrun” her perfectionist streakHow Amber developed her confidence in her voice and point of view as she started her newsletter and businessLearn more about Amber Petty:
WebsiteInstagram: @ambernpettyLearn more about Valerie Black:
The Change AgencyBecoming Power NewsletterCoachingResources:
The Gifts of Imperfection, Brené Brown -
There’s a lot of talk out there about self-care and rest.
We all experience stress and dysregulation in this world, and rest is essential for our emotional and physical well-being.
Yet sometimes, when we’re stressed and agitated, it can be challenging to realize that we desperately need a break and even harder to figure out how to do that.
This is where one of my favorite tools comes in: the Menu of Refuge.
Today, I want to share what refuge is, why you need and deserve it, and how to empower yourself by creating your own personal Menu of Refuge.
Listen to the full episode to hear:
Defining refuge, literally and metaphorically, and why it’s more than simply retreating from the worldHow a Menu of Refuge helps us take positive steps to resolve stress and dysregulationHow refuge addresses our fundamental biological need for emotional and physical safetyWhy refuge also needs a sense of growth, wonder, or expansionHow refuge restores our sense of dignity and self-worthHow to craft your own list of activities and places that serve as refuge for youLearn more about Valerie Black:
The Change AgencyBecoming Power NewsletterCoaching -
What rituals and practices do you turn to when you need refuge?
In a recent conversation with my friend and former colleague, Darcy Constans MD, I realized that we had a cherished childhood touchstone in common that Darcy still uses when she needs a respite from the real world.
In this episode, Darcy and I delve into her journey of managing her energy, exploring the spiritual and energetic aspects of healing, and her unique understanding of patients' dark nights of the soul. Her journey is insightful and inspiring, and I hope it motivates you in your own path of self-care.
Darcy Constans MD is a physician and community advocate with a focus on behavioral health, psychedelic medicine, and treatments for PTSD and substance use disorders.
Content note: Discussion of mortality, psychedelic use, addiction, and mental illness
Listen to the full episode to hear:
Why Darcy finds it essential to tend to her spiritual and energetic worlds in order to do her work as a physicianHow Darcy’s grounding practices have evolved through different clinical environmentsHow Long COVID challenged Darcy’s sense of control in the world and forced her to step back with intentionHow television provides refuge and comfort for Darcy, and how she maintains awareness of it as a toolHow Darcy manages screen time and technology with her kids with values and goals at the centerLearn more about Darcy Constans, MD:
WebsiteLearn more about Valerie Black:
The Change AgencyBecoming Power NewsletterCoaching -
Picture this: you’ve just completed a big project. All the work (and stress) is over, and you can breathe a sigh of relief. Right?
So, how quickly do you start itching to know how others think it went?
Perhaps you’re a student constantly refreshing your email for your professor’s thoughts. Or maybe you’re in the workplace, compulsively checking Slack for comments from your boss. Do you ever find yourself anticipating criticism, trying to get ahead by guessing what flaws others will pick out?
This begs the question, did you ever stop to ask yourself how you thought it went?
How we assess our performance on things that matter to us can strongly impact our mental health and self-esteem, not to mention the progress of our work.
Today, I want to pull back the power from the process of self-evaluations and building self-trust. Even if you’re not in an environment where you get formal feedback or have to complete self-evaluations, the method I will share has something for you, too. This method helps you create space for self-reflection that serves the impact you want to make in the world without losing yourself in self-doubt and other people’s opinions.
Listen to the full episode to hear:
Why developing the ability to discern your own performance is a critical skill setHow self-assessment became so embedded in our work lives, and how the process has lost its meaningTwo simple tools to help you center your own voice when considering your performance
The Change AgencyThe Change Agent's Handbook
Learn more about Valerie Black: -
Have you ever felt like your brain was being a real jerk?
Our inner worlds can be brutal. But it is possible to intentionally cultivate a gentler, more generative landscape that offers us strong roots to ground us so that we can stretch out into the world with courage and support.
Sara Lawson joined me to share her journey of silencing the harsh, unforgiving voices in her head. She also revealed the practices she adopted to create a kinder, gentler inner world, a testament to the power of intentional change.
Sara Lawson brings 20+ years of leadership experience to support organizations and individuals with ambitious dreams and meaningful goals. Sara is a consultant, facilitator, executive coach, and the creator of Gauge Leadership Lab. She particularly loves supporting leaders and teams working to foster a culture where each person has the opportunity to belong, contribute, and thrive.
Sara has worked with organizations in all sectors, from video game makers to state-wide early childhood programs, higher education to community radio, architectural firms, and organic farming incubators. Sara’s guidance offers leaders the tools and inspiration to address significant challenges, do their best work, make a meaningful difference, and find satisfaction.
Listen to the full episode to hear:
How Sara realized that tending to the state of her inner world was necessary and worthwhile to her professional rolesHow she developed a practice and mindset of “scanning for what’s going well.”The process Sara has developed for evaluating her work and projects that value her perceptions along with external feedbackThe creative practice that helped Sara find and hone her voiceHow Sara has learned to lower the bar for being “good” at drawing through her daily-ish practiceHow she’s bringing more overt playfulness to her practices for herself and her clients post-COVIDLearn more about Sara Lawson:
Shorthand ConsultingConnect on LinkedInLearn more about Valerie Black:
The Change AgencyThe Change Agent's HandbookLynda Barry Resources:
Drawn & QuarterlySyllabusMaking ComicsNew York Time Interview Vox InterviewLynda Barry on Instagram -
Power—what a complicated word.
What does it take to become powerful? Money? Fame? Connections? Or perhaps just being born into the right kind of body?
I believe power—true power—results from deep roots, an inner life that keeps us grounded, inspired, and connected to what matters most. Power emerges from practices that help us transform and evolve and serve as a foundation for our work in the world.
I believe we become powerful when we nurture those deep roots and the people that matter most to us.
I'm Valerie Black, an applied behavioral scientist, coach, healthcare entrepreneur, and helpmate to the brave builders of the future. And I'm a bit obsessed with learning how change-makers of all kinds cultivate the rich inner lives at the root of their power.
On Becoming Power, I talk with powerful people about the practices that nourish them most. From writers and business leaders to activists and athletes, we dig deep into process and strategy.
As your personal behavioral scientist, I analyze their insights and turn them into meditations, visualizations, and bite-sized experiments for you to integrate into your own life.
Becoming Power is your unprecedented access to the inner lives of people doing great work.
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Follow or subscribe to Becoming Power for free wherever you get podcasts.
