Episodios
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Dance, Monkey, Dance — it's Thanksgiving, Dear Listener! We've loaded up the laughs to make the time fly as you prep, plump, clean, commute, gorge, purge, decorate, designate and defacate your way through this blessed secular holiday. (Still sorry, Native 'Merica!)
Join us, won't you, as we ignore the news, forget cultural references and dig deep in family drama. In You Can't Eat at Errybody House news, Missy suffers a fresh insult that shall henceforth be known as KUGELGATE.
Thirty seconds with Amy is back, along with your favorite, Non Sequitur Theatre featuring Matthew McConaughey's whistling tuna sandwhich. Plus, Missy melts down over the anorexia cry for help masquerading as the Wicked press tour. (Eat a sandwich, Ariana. Seriously.)
We love you.
We're grateful for you.
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Asking for a friend... and don't be gross. We cover a lot of ground this week, Dear Listener, including the perils of poorly planned Friendsgiving, toddlers making soup, Missy's fascination with the societal promise of gastrointestinal distress, and Brides Behaving Badly. It's another joyful romp through the ADHD wilderness. And we can't wait to take you along for the ride.
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¿Faltan episodios?
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Continue the distraction with upbeat giggles and advice from We, the Righteous. Join us as we energize each other, embrace our unique talents, and smile our way through this glorous gift we call life.
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Who's ready for a laugh? Join us, Dear Listener, as we bounce our way through all the ridiculousness Missy can't seem to avoid on TikTok starting with Hate Cups: A User's Guide. Amy comes in strong with some poorly managed breathing exercises (because, Science) then follows it up with nasocranial biohazards, party edition. Josh and Josh's Mom make their usual unwelcome dish, and we all enjoy a brief round up of Famous Athletes Acting Badly featuring sports friends gone bad Jason (or is it Travis?) Kelsey and basketballer Joel Embiid. See? I do watch sports.
Remember: if a problem can be fixed, then being angry is no use.
And if a problem can't be fixed, then being angry is no use.Sending love to the crest fallen, bruised, dejected and at risk.
We see you.
We serve you.
We are you.
With grateful hearts, the work continues. -
Mmmmm...catalogs. Is there anything better to arrive in the mail? Sears. JC Penney. Spiegel. Consumer Distributors. J Peterman. Even The ToysRUs Look Book. Missy takes us down mail-order memory lane as a sweet antidote to the daring political discussion of early voting in our two battleground states. Then, it's Tom Hardy's dog's voice. Subtitles. And a fullsome dissection of the Netflix hit Nobody Wants This. Super bouncy this week, Dear Listener. Give us a play. You won't regret it!
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What's more shocking than Dairy Queen's new vomit-themed chicken slabs? Perhaps warm pimento cheese masquerading as a gay-hating chicken crime. Missy does the Lord's work with a tricky visit to see her ornery parents. Her reward? A vintage Dow Jones ticker and 6.2 billion Toby mugs (all available to ship now). Amy goes wee wee wee all the way home on a Trump pee-pad rumor. But don't fret, Dear Listener. Our focus on the heavy stuff is as fleeting as the breeze though a Florida wind chime.
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It's another whirlwind episode, Dear Listener, and not just because of Hurricane Milton. Join us as we dive deep into Missy's true love language — gifting — only to discover the biggest gift she could ever give "doesn't come from the store." Well, well! Color me interested.
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Move over, Call Her Daddy, there's a new STD-aware podcast in town. Jim Carey kills another one — or does he? Missy officiates a wedding. And Amy suffers the cosmic trauma of TikTok's Josh (and Josh's Mom).
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It's getting hot in here, Dear Listener, and not for the reasons you think. It's the semi-annual Thermostat Wars, and Amy is no where near winning. Plus, Missy punctuates her restful hour-long visits to the beach with a luxurious new Dispensary find: and it's the actual Dispensary. And TikTok disgraces Josh and his Mom give the world a first-hand peek behind the Dollar General discount bin. Warning: there's a way to make canned lima beans even worse.
(Yes, we dabble in the disappointment that is Diddy. Just skip to the end. Lord knows he did.)
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First things first, Dear Listener: The Bear is NOT a comedy. This week, we dive deep into the file cabinet to uncover the many mysteries of Dina's Secret Folder (it's genetic!). Emmy wins and losses. Bucket list dates of future past. Dave Grohl steps out (again). And the main event: does Amy actually know the would-be assassin who stalked former president Donald Trump? Listen and learn, kids. And remember: when Jesus comes calling, be sure to put your best shirt forward.
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What's better than King Charles's sausage fingers, Taylor Swift's Kamala Harris endorsement and microdosing on Costco pallet-sized overstock unboxings on TikTok? Knowing who your friends are. Join us as we laugh our way through the ins and outs of adult friendships, starting with when to make friends, how to keep them and, best of all, what it means to live your life according to the Three Ds.
And we don't mean Donnie, Dopey and Do-nuthin.
Curious? Be sure to listen to all the way to the end (as Dear Listener knows, that's where we stash the gold). Or act like Veruca Salt and skip ahead to minute 48. Either way, you win.
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How late is too late for checking out after checkout time? Missy feels this one in the gut. In male news, Nut Talk reaches new heights as we "take to the Internet" for bathing advice. Missy works through the final days of renting the beachhouse. And Amy starts a September Reset. All this on more. Heh heh heh.
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Taking a break from our near-constant discussion of precipitous bowel release (just kidding, friends), we venture into the oft-overlooked territory of stealing from one's siblings. Time was, we stole sweatshirts, devil dogs, prime seating on car trips. This week, it's friends. Next week, who knows?
Plus, Amy gets hacked. Feeding the children ramps up. And Missy yearns for a return to her sandy seaside escape.
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Of all the delicious things we could offer you, Dear Listener — and let's be honest, we're offered you quite a few — there's nothing more enticing than what we have loaded up for you this week. Friendship. Get ready for all the feels when Missy remembers just who the F she is during these troubled, trying times. And yes, we sample the mayonnaise.
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Lu La Roe. Olympic breakdancing. Aging parents. Volunteering for jobs you have no intention of doing. And of course, Disneyland. Care to join, Dear Listener, as Melissa audibly implodes? It's a roaring good time, we promise. Just don't mention Tom Cruise.
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Where shall we begin, Dear Listener? Oh I know! The toilet. It's a riotous week for podcasting, gang, replete with questionable topics, sex dream recaps, depilitories gone wild, and — you guessed it — how many fingers is Melissa holding up?
We go there, kids. And there, and there, and oh my goodness there, too.
Definitely not suitable for the kids this week. But as the french pole vaulters say, I got your medal right here.
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Quick question: does violence make every sport better? We're speaking of course, Dear Listener, of the oh, oh, oh, oh-LYM-pics, you knoooooww (sung to the tune of Ozempic), and the global awareness of yet another competitive event made that much more exciting by the threat of fullly sanctioned mid-competition paddling.
And we do mean paddling.
We're talking all things "Schports!" this week, Dear Listener, including regionally stereotpyes team uniforms, international phrases (are they, though?) heard on the sidelines, and of course, our favorite sport: people watching at the Costco.
Plus Maya Rudolph's sneaky new venture, kiddo updates and much more.
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Lewd, much? It's defnitely a not suitable for work episode this week, Dear Listener, as we stumble through the sudden rise of female-centered sex acts in mainstream Hollywood. But not to worry. We also cover hostess gifts, double chins, the rising cost of law school and rats at the bedside. Fun stuff!
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It's the People Doing Bad Things episode, Dear Listener, and to be honest, what else would you expect in a week when a former POTUS and prospective nominee gets shot? Vigilante Teen-Led Pedophile Sting Operations, of course! We're riding the wave of insanity that is July 2024, Dear Listener, and that means no shortage of content for us to laugh about. Join us as we dissect the moral obgligations of bystander parenthood, Fetish Feeding (are you a victim?), saying goodbye to Dr. Ruth, Toxic Tampons (you know, for the kids!) and Riding the Ole Hobby Horse, Fit'land Style. Got a long drive planned? Then this is your soundtrack. Just give the kids some earplugs first. Enjoy!
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