Episodios
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When someone uncovers a DNA surprise, their family tree changes. That sounds simple, but the reality is that our roots, so many of the things that make us, us, come from generations before us. In this week’s episode Melissa shares her profound journey after discovering that the man who raised her is not her biological father.
From uncovering clues in her late grandmother's writings to learning about her biological father's tumultuous past and building new relationships with half-siblings, Melissa delves into the complex emotions and revelations that emerged along the way. Through her genealogical research, Melissa connects with her ancestral roots, understanding more about her family's history and the legacies that shape her identity.
Thank you for sharing your story, Melissa.
Resources:
Bold and Queer
instagram.com/boldandqueer
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If we don’t laugh, we’ll cry. DNA surprises can be gut-wrenching and difficult experiences, but some of us can find humor in almost any situation. In this week’s laughter-filled episode, Lauren LoGuidice tells the story of how she learned she was donor conceived.
Lauren discusses how she never fit in with her raised family but was regularly dismissed and gaslit when she questioned why she looked so different. She shares how she connected with her donor-conceived siblings, her genetic father, and how things are with her parents today.
She doesn’t disguise her journey with humor, rather, she infuses it into her storytelling. You can check out Lauren’s comedy, including the latest on her upcoming film, at her website linked in the show notes.
Thank you for sharing your story, Lauren.
Resources:
Lauren LoGiudice - Comedy and Characters for Misfits
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When someone opens up their DNA test results, the outcome isn’t always an explosive surprise. Sometimes, it takes a while of pulling at a thread before a truth is unraveled. In this week’s episode, Christine shares how her curiosity about one of her ethnicity results led to her shocking discovery that her dad isn’t her biological father. But in another twist, even after finding out the truth about her paternity, the mystery about her ethnicity remained.
Christine discusses both of these DNA surprises and how they’ve affected her relationships. She also shares how her surprise has transformed her perception of herself, for the positive.
Thank you for sharing your story, Christine.
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Imagine uncovering your DNA surprise, experiencing the shock and devastation that comes with it, and then learning that the surprise wasn’t a total surprise after all? Earlier this season, we heard a story like this, and in this week’s episode, you’ll hear another.
When Tamara confronted her mom about her DNA surprise, she was shocked to learn that they’d already discussed it when she was younger. For some reason the memory didn’t stick with her, and when she learned the truth,it came back to her. Yet she still had to contend with this revelation as though she was hearing it for the first time.
Tamara details her search for her biological father after being given incorrect information and facing roadblocks from her found family. Just before we recorded our interview, she got a surprise that gave her the answers she was looking for.
Thank you for sharing your story, Tamara.
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After a DNA surprise is uncovered, many moments from the past come into focus. Especially moments that, in hindsight, were missed opportunities for parents to tell the truth.
In this week’s episode, Christina shares how she uncovered her DNA surprise and how she’s feeling about seven months into her discovery. She discusses how she’s struggling with feelings of anger at her mother, especially when she reflects on times when her mom could have disclosed the truth about who her biological father was.
Before listening to this episode, please note that there is a brief discussion about child sexual abuse that may be upsetting to listeners. If you want to avoid this content, skip over timestamps of approximately 24:00-26:00.
Thank you for sharing your story, Christina.
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As we’ve heard earlier this season, many people within the DNA surprise community saw their test results as mere confirmation of something they’d long suspected. But as heard in this week’s episode, not everyone was able to put their finger on just why they felt different.
Chaya never felt like she fit in with her family. She found solace in music and the friendships she formed in the metal scene during her rebellious teen years. Then one day, during a heated exchange with her parents, her mother revealed that the man she believed was her father was not. She pursued a relationship with the man her mom identified, only to learn even more shocking information about her paternity.
Thank you for sharing your story, Chaya.
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After three years of making this podcast and speaking to people who’ve experienced life-altering DNA surprises, I’ve noticed several trends. One trend is that oftentimes, the biological father is someone a guest knew from childhood. Another trend is a tumultuous relationship with the mother.
In this week’s episode, Kim shares her emotional journey after discovering a family secret through genealogical research. She discusses the shock and clarity that came with this revelation, her strained relationship with her mother who kept the secret, and the dynamics with her siblings and other family members who knew the truth but were sworn to secrecy. Kim also speaks candidly about her efforts to build a relationship with her biological father and how the presence of this secret created issues throughout her life.
Kim first told her story a few years ago on NPE Stories, hosted by Lily Wood.
Listen here: Spotify or Apple
Thank you Kim, for sharing your story.
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If you’ve had a DNA surprise, how many times have you been told you should write a book? This week’s episode is a story that is truly stranger than fiction. Traci shares how, at 19, her mother revealed the truth about her paternity. This truth sent Traci reeling, but her mother insisted that she always knew the truth. Her mom went on to explain the events that led them to that moment. It’s a story straight out of a true crime novel, and Traci didn’t remember any of it.
Traci goes on to share what happened after the revelation, including how she moved forward with her parents, who married a few years after her DNA surprise.
Thank you Traci, for sharing your story.
Resources:
After the Rotting
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"I knew it!" Or, "I had no idea." When it comes to DNA surprises, some people are completely blindsided. Others felt like they knew it all along. Danielle never felt like she fit in with her family. Her mother died when she was just three years old, and for the rest of her childhood, she was raised by her dad, who travelled often for work, and her aunt, her mother’s sister.
Danielle knew that her dad had difficulty conceiving her older half-sister with his first wife, and she questioned if they were biologically related. More than a decade after her dad died, another aunt gave her a letter he’d written to her, which described the sometimes tumultuous but genuine affection her parents had for one another - a confession of sorts?
When she learned that her sister had taken a consumer DNA test, Danielle finally had her chance to uncover the truth. After getting her results, doing extensive research, and learning surprising information from her mother’s best friend, she finally did.
Thank you Danielle, for sharing your story.
Listen to ad-free episodes at patreon.com/dnasurprises.
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Black sheep. Golden child. In the DNA surprise community, these are labels we hear a lot. In this week’s episode, Sarah shares her emotional journey before, during, and after, her DNA discovery. Growing up, she never felt like she fit in, but her concerns were often dismissed. Many years later, her suspicions were confirmed–her dad, Joe was not her biological father. But she didn’t know for sure who was.
Sarah’s story also touches on the role that alcohol played within her family and in her own personal journey. She discusses why she ultimately decided to seek sobriety and create strong boundaries with her raised family, and how she’s pursuing relationships with her newfound relatives.
Thank you for sharing your story, Sarah.
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Welcome to season 10 of DNA Surprises. This season is jampacked with incredible stories that explore the emotional journeys of DNA discoveries. If you’ve had a DNA surprise, you’ll hear stories that you may relate to and gain inspiration from. If you haven’t had a DNA surprise, this season will continue to give you insight into the complexities of identity, family, and the human experience.
In this week’s episode, Krissy shares her long journey to uncovering her DNA surprise, when she learned that the man she believed was her biological father is not. Her surprise didn’t start with a DNA test, but rumors that she confronted her mother about, which were quickly denied. Years later, Krissy found herself staring at a photo of herself and her two brothers, and that nagging feeling returned. So she took a DNA test.
Krissy shares how the revelation affected her and her relationships and how she eventually found her biological father - along with a couple of additional DNA surprises. She also shares why she’s made the decision not to openly discuss the discovery with her parents.
Thank you for sharing your story, Krissy.
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Intergenerational trauma. It’s something we talk about a lot here. The most common cycles we discuss are the patterns of keeping secrets and the patterns of shame. In this week’s episode, you will hear a story about a cycle of NPEs.
When Bobbi became pregnant with her third child, she knew that was not in a position to care for another baby. She relinquished her child to a family member, but kept the specific circumstances around the birth a secret - most people thought she was a surrogate.
Just a couple of years later, Bobbi was shocked when, long before consumer DNA testing, she learned that the man she’d believed was her biological father was not, and that both of her parents knew this secret her entire life.
And then there was one more. Years later, when she took a consumer DNA test, Bobbi uncovered that her mother is also an NPE, upending another long believed story.
I want to especially thank Bobbi for being open about her experience as a mother in this situation. She shares a vulnerable, honest, and empathetic perspective for all of us to consider.
Thanks again to Bobbi for sharing her story.
Bobbi’s Book: Descendant DeceptionSupport the podcast.
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Who would I have become if I had known the truth? How were the interactions I had throughout my life colored by an unknown truth? These are questions so many of us ask ourselves, over and over and over again.
The reality is, we will never know, no more than we would know who we would have become if we’d been born in another country. Part of the DNA surprise experience is coming to terms with this.
In this week’s episode, I’m joined by Guy, who I first interviewed back in Season 3. When we first spoke, Guy had just experienced his surprise, and he wasn’t sure what he was going to do next. One of the things that struck me was how freeing Guy found the revelation to be.
Guy shares what’s come up for him since we first spoke, including the many ways he’s been analyzing - and reanalyzing his past. In the two years since we spoke, Guy’s come to the realization that the facts of his situation don’t matter much to him, and that all he has is now.
PS - If you think DNA surprises are all sad all the time, this episode is a good reminder that it’s OK to laugh sometimes.
Thank you, Guy, for sharing your story.
Guy's DNA Surprise (Original episode)
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If you’ve had a DNA surprise, you might listen to this podcast from the perspective of someone who just uncovered their results. Or did it happen years ago, when consumer DNA testing became popular? What has changed for you since the day you opened your test results?
In this week’s episode, I’m joined by a guest from Season 1, Crystal. Crystal had her DNA surprise the same month and year that I did. When we first spoke, it had only been a few months since she received her results. So much has happened since then.
Crystal shares what it was like when she finally met her biological father for the first time, as well as how her relationships have evolved over the years. If you’re in the thick of your DNA surprise right now, I hope this episode gives you hope that things will get better, because they will.
Thank you Crystal for sharing your story.
Crystal's DNA Surprise (Original episode)
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When people uncover DNA surprises, they are often left to unpack the mysteries themselves. From the who, what, when and where around their births to where their newly identified family members are today, we spend hours searching newspapers, online archives, and obituaries.
Many times, we find what we’re looking for. Sometimes, we don’t.
In this week’s episode, BettyJo shares how any of her questions remain unanswered. Her mother wouldn’t share many details and their relationship, along with her relationship with her raised siblings, and disintegrated after the discovery.
BettyJo believes her father is from Mexico, where endogamy, the custom of marrying only within the limits of a local community, clan, or tribe, is common. This makes locating specific people tricky.
BettyJo shares how she’s managed losing the close relationship she once had with her mother, as well as how she’s coping with so many unknowns.
Thank you for sharing your story, BettyJo.
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Did you know that the DNA Surprises podcast community meets in a virtual support group every month? We started the Third Thursday Meetup in 2023 to serve as an additional resource for NPEs, late-discovery donor-conceived people, and late-discovery adoptees to find community and support. Third Thursdays have quickly become one of my favorite nights of the month, due in no small part to the two people who are sharing updates in this special double update episode.
Liann and Pat uncovered their DNA surprises in very different ways. Liann found out long before consumer DNA tests, while Pat uncovered her surprise more recently. In the first half of this week’s episode, Liann joins me to share her progress as she moves in the advocacy stage of her DNA surprise journey. At around the 27-minute mark, Pat joins me for the second half of this episode and shares how she’s doing nearly a year and a half after her surprise.
Be sure to listen to Liann and Pat’s episodes, and then listen to their updates.
Thanks to Lianna and Pat for joining me again.
Liann's original episode
Pat's original episodeBy the way, if you want to sign up for Third Thursdays, go to dnasurprises.com/events.
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Not every DNA surprise has a happy ending. And sometimes, what seems like a happy ending takes a turn. But the opposite is also true. In this week’s episode, Shannon shares how she learned the truth about her paternity and had to wait several years before she could identify her biological father. When she finally found him, he was receptive, before quickly closing off any hope of a relationship…until he had another change of heart.
Thank you for sharing your story, Shannon.
If you’d like to learn more about Shannon’s therapy practice, visit CreatingSpaceTherapy.com.
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Many people in the DNA surprise community grew up with dads, or birth certificate fathers, BCFs as they’re often called. We are raised by these men and then one day, through a DNA test or other means, we learn that they are not our biological fathers. But what if you never really felt like you had a dad? How does a DNA surprise affect you?
In this week’s episode, Alissa shares how her free-spirited mother had her and her twin brother on her own, before marrying their stepfather. Alissa remembers asking questions - “Do we have a dad?” And getting the same explanation each time. He lived in another state, he had gone to prison, they’d tried to make it work but did not.
In her early 20s, Alissa attempted to build a relationship with who she believed was her biological father, Jim, even finding an “Uncle Dad” through his brother Rick. After taking a DNA test, everything she thought she knew was upended.
Thank you for sharing your story, Alissa.
For early access to ad-free episodes, join me over on Patreon at patreon.com/dnasurprises.
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DNA Surprises bring up a range of emotions, and if there’s one thing I hope I’ve made clear on this show, all those emotions are valid. In this week’s episode, Joan shares why her DNA surprise was more of an interesting adventure than a dramatic event.
Her story is one of optimism, curiosity, and patience - it took her a decade to solve her mystery, and many questions remain unanswered. She discusses how she uncovered the truth and why she ultimately feels like her DNA surprise revealed that she had the best of both worlds.
Thank you for sharing your story, Joan.
Do you have a DNA surprise you'd like to share? Submit your story at www.dnasurprises.com.
Get early access to ad-free episodes by joining the DNA Surprises Patreon community!
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Welcome to the 100th episode of DNA surprises! OK, technically I’ve had more than 100 episodes already, but this is the 100th DNA Surprise story I’ve had the privilege of sharing with you all.
So, in celebration of 100 episodes, I thought we’d take it allll the way back to the beginning. In this week’s episode, I’m joined once again by Yvette, my very first guest on the podcast.
I am eternally grateful to those Season 1 guests. They responded to my call for guests with no guarantees on how their stories would be told or where. They trusted me with one of the most difficult experiences of their lives - and that’s where this all began.
If you haven’t yet listened to Yvette’s story, I’ll give you a quick recap here, but I encourage you to pause this episode and go back to Season 1, episode one: Yvette’s DNA Surprise. In our first conversation, Yvette was coming fresh off of her DNA surprise. She’d figured out who her biological father was, and actually remembered meeting him one time in her life before he died. She had connected with her newfound siblings but hadn’t yet had the opportunity to meet them. Yvette had also gone no contact with her mother because of her anger and pain about the secret.
One of the biggest sources of joy in her story was her ethnic shift, with the discovery of her Sicilian heritage. Yvette felt immediately connected to her ancestors when she learned about this background and immersed herself in learning about the food and culture. One of the biggest sources of her pain is around the missed opportunity to connect with her biological father, who she seemingly shared countless similarities with.
That was nearly two and half years ago, and in this week’s episode, Yvette joined me to share where things are now. She shares how she’s continued to navigate her ethnic shift and build deep connections with her Sicilian roots. She also gives a surprising update on her relationship with her siblings and tells us where things currently stand with her mother.
Thank you for sharing your story with us again, Yvette.
Do you have a DNA surprise you'd like to share? Submit your story at www.dnasurprises.com.
Get early access to ad-free episodes by joining the DNA Surprises Patreon community!
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