Episodios
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Sharing something special today, an episode of the Love Letters podcast. Love Letters tells stories about romance, marriage, partnership, sex, loss and the human heart, all served with a side of advice by Boston Globe columnist Meredith Goldstein.
On this episode: When Nimish left Nepal for college in the United States, he expected some serious challenges, like adjusting to a new culture and studying in a new language. Finding love was not top-of-mind. But as he got older and started to date more, Nimish’s romantic life became his biggest source of anxiety. Because with each budding relationship came an all-consuming question: How do I explain this to my parents?
You can listen to more Love Letters episodes here.
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A significant portion of the funeral home workforce is entering retirement...but there's a crop of young people who are ready to take the helm. Anita meets two young funeral directors who felt called to this work at a young age. They take her inside their world -- from organizing end of life ceremonies to learning how to embalm for the first time. Plus, they share their hopes for a more death-positive future.
Meet the guests:
- Jasmine Berrios, licensed funeral director and embalmer, shares how she got into the industry, how being a funeral director impacts her dating life and how she tries to create boundaries around her work [@jasminethemortician]
- Joél Simone Maldonado, grief care professional and educator known as The Grave Woman, talks about how her family influenced her career choice, how she educates her peers around culturally competent care and the importance of open conversations around death [@thegravewoman]
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Anita has many close friends who defy all stereotypes about only children. But when it comes to thinking about having her own kids, she still can't shake some of those ingrained ideas. She hears three perspectives on single-kid families (including that of former U.S. poet laureate Billy Collins) and learns why the debunked mythology around only children still lingers today.
Meet the guests:
- Lauren Sandler, journalist and author of "One and Only: The Freedom of Having an Only Child, and the Joy of Being One,” shares her personal experience and ways to reframe the negative stereotypes about being and having only children
- Corinne Lyons, a middle school teacher in Detroit, talks about how her childhood being the only child of only children has shaped how she thinks about family
- Billy Collins, former U.S. poet laureate, reads his poem "Only Child" and shares the joy of being an only child
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True or false? Victorian doctors invented the vibrator to cure women's "hysteria" by bringing them to sexual climax. The answer may surprise you...as it did Anita! She gets the truth about vibrator history from journalist Hallie Lieberman and meets Anna Lee, the engineer behind the first-ever “smart” vibrator that can help you better understand your arousal patterns.
Meet the guests:
- Hallie Lieberman, author of "Buzz: The Stimulating History of the Sex Toy," shares the history of the vibrator and debunks myths and misconceptions around how this sex toy evolved
- Anna Lee, co-founder and head of engineering at Lioness, talks about how her company designed their smart vibrator, how they collect data and what they've learned from their users so far
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Dive deeper:
Read more about Von’s music
See some vibrator ads throughout history
Hallie debunking the vibrator myth
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A gender transition is a moment of personal flux that can also have a big impact on a romantic relationship. Anita meets two couples who continued to choose each other after one partner came out as trans: a South African couple in their 20s and an American couple who went through a transition after 22 years of marriage.
Meet the guests:
- Summer Tao and Lucy Aalto, partners and freelance writers in South Africa, describe the unexpected ways in which Summer’s transition brought them closer together and share advice to couples who may be at the beginning of their own queer journeys
- Kate and Patty Redman, wife and wife in Missouri, reflect on changes to their sex life, social circles and religious ties when Kate came out as trans after two decades of marriage
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No matter how much you love your partner, your relationship will never be totally free from disagreement. And nor should it be, say researchers Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman. We actually just need to learn to argue better. Enjoy this episode from our friends at The Happiness Lab.
The Gottmans join Dr Laurie Santos to talk us through how to raise complaints with our partners and how to react when they complain about us.
Further reading: Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection by Dr John Gottman and Dr Julie Schwartz Gottman.
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American Sign Language is the third-most used language in the U.S. ASL has its own culture and art forms, and for many Deaf folks, ASL is about much more than just communication. Anita talks to Deaf author Sara Nović and Deaf ASL Slam poet Douglas Ridloff about how ASL gave them tools for self-understanding and artistic expression. Then she learns from scholars Carolyn McCaskill and Joseph Hill about Black American Sign Language (BASL), an ASL dialect that emerged because of school segregation.
Meet the guests:
- Sara Nović, author of "True Biz," outlines the history of ASL and how it has influenced her work as a writer
- Douglas Ridloff, visual storyteller, ASL master and executive director of ASL Slam, shares how he learned ASL and became an ASL poet
- Carolyn McCaskill, recently retired professor and director of the Center for Black Deaf Studies at Gallaudet University, talks about attending a segregated school for the deaf — and how integration raised her awareness of Black ASL (BASL)
- Joseph Hill, associate professor in the department of ASL and Interpreting Education at Rochester Institute of Technology, talks about the impact of the research he, Carolyn and two other colleagues have conducted about BASL
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Check out the video version of this conversation: part one is here, and part two is here.
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Anita finds a lot of ASMR videos to be deeply relaxing, but she doesn't get the well-hyped/well-documented 'brain tingles.' Why? She puts the question to a physiologist who's been exploring the science of ASMR for the past decade. Plus, she meets an ASMR artist who's entranced hundreds of thousands of people with her medical role play videos and a woman who turned to the world of Boyfriend ASMR to heal her broken heart.
Meet the guests:
- Craig Harris Richard, ASMR researcher and professor of biopharmaceutical sciences at Shenandoah University, digs into the data on what we know about ASMR, or autonomous sensory meridian response
- Semide, an ASMR artist, talks about the emotional work in her content creation and the parasocial relationships she forms with viewers
- Laura Nagy, filmmaker, writer and podcaster behind the 2021 Audible Original podcast “Pillow Talk,” shares how ASMR content helped her to open up to being vulnerable again
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Check out Craig's ASMR podcasts: “Sleep Whispers” and “Calm History”
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Egg donation in the U.S. is a multibillion dollar industry with high stakes and complicated dynamics. Anita talks with two egg donors about why they donated and what they wish they'd known earlier. Plus, a medical anthropologist shines a light on the messy world of donor compensation and why some eggs are valued higher than others.
Meet the guests:
- Julie Ventura, egg donor and nail artist, shares her journey of donating eggs for her best friends to start a family
- Claire Burns, egg donor and Canadian playwright, actor and advocate, explains her concerns with the industry after hearing about lots of varying experiences as the co-founder of the online support group, We Are Egg Donors
- Daisy Deomampo, associate professor of anthropology at Fordham University, breaks down her research into the racialization and commodification of the egg donor market, particularly for Asian American donors
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The Brazilian butt lift (or BBL) is the fastest-growing cosmetic surgery in recent memory ... but why? Anita learns about the ins and outs of the procedure from a plastic surgeon and a BBL recipient. Then a scholar puts our obsession with big butts in historical context — tracing the conversation from Sir Mix-a-Lot to Kim Kardashian.
Meet the guests:
- Dr. Kelly Bolden, a clinical assistant professor at Howard University and Medical Director and plastic surgeon at CulturaMed, details the procedure and safety factors to consider with a BBL
- Ronte’ Jentel, a Youtube vlogger and personality, shares why he got a BBL and what the surgical process and recovery were like
- Dr. Alisha Gaines, an associate professor of arts and sciences in the department of English at Florida State University, explains the historical roots of the cultural forces propelling the BBL to popularity
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When a loved one dies, a big part of the grieving process involves letting go of the role they once played in your day-to-day life. But with new developments in AI technology … the dead can live on in new and interesting ways. Anita meets a tech journalist who built bots of her parents to see how AI could preserve their memories for the long term. She also talks with a philosophy professor about the ways that ancient Chinese philosophy can address AI's emerging ethical issues and how grief tech fits into a long history of traditions around death and mourning.
Meet the guests:
- Charlotte Jee, news editor for MIT's Tech Review, shares the process of creating her AI parents and a survey of where we are with grief tech today
- Dr. Alexis Elder, associate professor of philosophy at the University of Minnesota Duluth, talks about how Chinese philosophy can guide communal conversations about the future of this technology and how it fits into our society's grieving process
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Science fiction and real-life tech experts have promised a future filled with sex robots. But how many of those predictions will actually come true? Anita talks to an artificial intelligence scholar who's traced sex robots from Greek mythology to the prototypes on the market today. Plus, a writer shines a light on the dark world of a futuristic brothel … explored from the perspective of an AI Sex Bot herself.
Meet the guests:
- Dr. Kate Devlin, a scholar in artificial intelligence and society in the department of digital humanities at King's College London, shares her research into sex robot technology and philosophy
- Sarah Cho, writer and director, talks about her new graphic novel, Red Light, which takes readers into a futuristic AI brothel from the perspective of an AI sex bot named Lacy
Dig Deeper:
Learn more about Kate's book Turned On: Science, Sex and Robots
Find Sarah's graphic novel series Red Light in installments online or find the full collection in paperback July 2024
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When human romance isn't working out, can an AI chatbot successfully take its place? Anita hears varied perspectives on that question. She meets a journalist who got dumped by her AI crush and talks with a woman whose AI companion turned her life around. Plus, psychologist Melissa McCool, the clinical product consultant for AI tech company Luka, takes Anita behind the scenes of making AI companions.
Meet the guests:
- Christina Campodonico, the senior reporter of arts and culture at The San Francisco Standard, talks about her experience dating a bot named Kyle through the app Blush, and how the relationship met an untimely demise
- Denise Valenciano, a Replika app user, shares how her interactions with her AI companion Star have taught her boundaries and preferences for human relationships
- Melissa McCool, a clinical product consultant at Luka, licensed psychotherapist, and chief product officer at Ellipsis Health, talks about her behind-the-scenes work with building AI companions and why we build strong bonds with digital entities
Dig Deeper:
Read more about Christina's experience dating on Blush in her article, What’s It Like To Date AI? We Tried
Denise and her AI partner Star's NBC Nightly News interview
More about Denise and Star's story: Meet the artificially intelligent chatbot trying to curtail loneliness in America , Mental Health and AI: How Replika users find support from chatbots | IBTimes UK, The Women Falling in Love With Their AI Boyfriends (thecut.com)
Investigate the Replika and Blush apps
To read TJ Arriaga’s interviews with his AI companion, Phaedra, check out his Instagram highlight ‘AI7’
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In the 34 years that guest host Omisade Burney-Scott was a menstruating person, she always felt that blood held more significance than just the biological. She meets an OB/GYN who shares little-known facts about period blood, and talks with two menstrual health advocates about how art and community have connected them to their cycles. Plus, an attorney discusses what she's paying attention to this year in terms of period policy.
Meet the Guests:
- Dr. Charis Chambers, who is known as "The Period Doctor," talks about how period blood can inform menstruators about other things going on in their bodies, and why we don't want to think of a period as "a detox"
- Vianey Blades, a certified exercise physiologist and menstrual embodiment mentor, traces her connections to menstruation activism back to her grandmother and how art has helped her feel connected to her period
- Ashi Arora, a reproductive and menstrual health liberation activist and researcher, shares how complex trauma can affect menstruation and how community has been significant in her experience of her period
- Jennifer Weiss-Wolf, attorney and executive director of the Birnbaum Women's Leadership Center at the NYU School of Law, discusses how and why she coined the term "menstrual equity" in 2015 and what she's paying attention to in terms of period policy this election year
Dig Deeper:
Omisade's work with Black Girl's Guide To Surviving Menopause
Dr. Charis Chamber’s Instagram and TikTok accounts (check her out on YouTube too, why not!)
Explore the Society for Menstrual Cycle Research
Join Vianey's newsletter or sign up for her interactive sister circle meetups
Jennifer Weiss-Wolf’s book Periods Gone Public
Why 2015 was the "Year of the Period"
Learn more about the "tampon tax"
Kiran Gandhi on bleeding and running
The trailer for Lina Lyte Plioplyte's film "Periodical"
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You might have noticed that the word “y’all” is popping up everywhere. For decades, linguists have noted that regional American accents are disappearing. But at the same time, use of this traditionally Southern pronoun is rapidly spreading — and the reasons may surprise you. We hope you learn as much as we did from this special episode from The Broadside, produced by our colleagues at WUNC!
Meet the Guests:
- Brody McCurdy, Linguist and Researcher at NC State
- Antonia Randolph, Assistant Professor of American Studies at the UNC-Chapel Hill
Dig Deeper:
- You can find a transcript of the episode here.
- Check more of The Broadside's episodes here.
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Anita is no stranger to anxiety, but her spirals are mostly short lived. In this episode she meets folks who often get caught in loops of extreme worry and compulsions with little relief. A married couple shares how OCD put them in survival mode, and a woman whose OCD symptoms began in kindergarten talks about learning how to open up about her experience in friendships and dating.
Meet the guests:
Mike and Nicole Comforto, writers and married couple, talk about what led to Mike's diagnosis with OCD, what the experience was like for both of them as a couple and as new parents, and how Mike's OCD impacts other relationships in his lifeH.T., a writer using her initials for personal and medical privacy, explains how her OCD symptoms first showed up as a young girl, how she navigated getting an OCD diagnosis and how she discloses her OCD to those she is close toDig Deeper:
Nicole's Modern Love essay
Mike and Nicole's Substack, Hey Honey
The website for psychologist Dr. Monnica Williams
OCD advocate Alexandra Reynolds on Instagram
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Anita usually feels better after a good, long cry. But why is that? She explores that question with a poet who spent years diving deeply into the science and culture of crying. And a forerunner of the "crying selfie" trend shares how he pushes back on toxic masculinity by embracing tears.
Meet the guests:
- Heather Christle, poet and author of "The Crying Book," takes us into some of the science of crying and looks at tears through a political and gender-informed lens
- Viorel Tanase, a model and creative director, explains why he decided to share a crying selfie (before the trend took off) and how being vulnerable is part of the human experience
Dig Deeper:
More about the "crying selfie"
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Erectile dysfunction affects as many as 30 million people in the U.S. — yet the fears of not being “normal” prevent folks from speaking up about it. Anita meets a man who was silent about his ED for 10 years before getting surgery and opening up to partners…and talks with a sex therapist who challenges the word “dysfunction.” Plus, a 72-year-old describes how he’s redefined intimacy in his 30 years of experiencing ED.
Meet the guests:
- Ven Virah, a public speaker and global healthcare staffing professional, talks about experiencing erectile dysfunction for 10 years before seeking help
- Dr. Reece Malone, a sexologist, sexuality educator and sex therapist, discusses how ED can be a gateway to discussing other relationship, mental or physical problems
- George Marx, a retiree in his 70s who started experiencing ED in his 40s, talks about how he's developed intimate relationships without penetration
Dig Deeper:
Reflections on ED from George's blog
An interview with author Will N. Richards, and his book "Mother" that features a character with erectile dysfunction
Steve Jones’s new book of poetry, Words Woke Me: My Prostate Cancer Journey in Poetry.
The blog, A Touchy Subject, which Steve credits for preserving his sanity during his ED experience
The documentary Hard: The Fight to Solve Erectile Dysfunction, which features personal ED stories and info about inflatable penile prosthesis
Shannon's Facebook group
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Anita is committed to self-improvement but skeptical of self-help. She brings her qualms and questions to the experts: Kristen Meinzer, a podcaster who has lived by the rules of more than 50 self-help books, and Beth Blum, a scholar who's traced the genre back to its roots. Plus Sondra Rose Marie, a former self-help fan, shares how the industry has failed her as a woman of color.
Meet the guests:
- Kristen Meinzer, pop culture commentator and podcast host, shares what she learned from following the rules of over 50 self-help books
- Beth Blum, Harvard humanities professor and author, talks about the long history of the self-help industry, and how it's changed over the decades
- Sondra Rose Marie, writer, talks about why she started following a self-help guru...and what events made her leave
Dig Deeper:
Kristen's podcasts How To Be Fine and Daily Fail
Beth's book "The Self-Help Compulsion"
Sondra's Medium article on self-help
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Stuttering occurs in every culture with a spoken language. So why do many communities treat it as a source of shame? Two speech-language pathologists and a comedian help Anita question cultural assumptions about stuttering and explore the growing movement to embrace speech diversity.
Meet the guests:
- Dr. Derek Daniels, licensed and certified speech-language pathologist and associate professor in the department of Communication Sciences and Disorders at Wayne State University, shares his own experience of stuttering and what we know about what causes stuttering
- Jia Bin, doctoral student at Michigan State University, talks about growing up in rural China with a stutter and what she's hoping to bring back to the stuttering community there
- Nina G, comedian and author of "Stutterer, Interrupted: The Comedian Who Almost Didn’t Happen," explains why she decided to embrace her dream of doing stand-up and shares how her stuttering has impacted romantic and platonic relationships
Dig Deeper:
Follow Nina G's comedy on Instagram
Jia on stuttering as a superpower
Stuttering content on YouTube by Courtland Crain and Matice Ahnjamine
National Stuttering Association website
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