Episodios
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You may have had some wild clubbing nights in your life, but were any ever as wild as obliviously walking around with a shit-stained t-shirt thinking that you were fabulous?
No, probably not.
But, that's exactly what this week's guest, Santana Sexmachine, managed to get up to in her lost space, Berlin's Greece-muller. (i hope I said that correctly. Sorry if you are German and I just slaughtered your language).
Now, you might know Santana best from her time as a contestant on Sweden's Drag Race, but before this she was a plucky 23-year old who moved from her hometown of Stockholm to Berlin to run away and become a new person.
And it's here where the adventure begins....
Other episodes with Drag Race alumni
"Everything You Would Do At A Gay Bar" - with Tempest DuJour Club Muthers, Rochester, NY, USA (with Mrs Kasha Davis) Pandora Boxx: Falling in love with straight men, petty fights, and embracing your inner slutFollow me
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So, if we were to say that clubbing is a religion, then the club is the place of worship, the music is the hymn, and the DJ takes on the role of the Priest.
But what about the go-go dancer? Where do they fit into this clunky, overused metaphor?
Well, according to former go-go dancer, and current author and porn actor, Manuel Skye, the role of the go-go dancer is more than just eye candy—they’re the facilitators of connection.
We sat down with Manuel to talk about Parking, a legendary Montreal, Canada club that became a key part of his life after he moved there from Quebec City in the ‘90s.
For Manuel, it wasn’t just a place to dance or perform—it was a sanctuary for expression and liberation and he was gutted when Parking literally became parking, converted to a car park in the '00s.
Other episodes about Montrealian lost queer spaces
Tranna Wintour - Psychic City
'All These Gay Men With No Shirts On...' - with Van Hechter
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I think that I might have met my match.
For the last few years I've been feeling as though I'm the person who talks the most about lost queer spaces, but journalist David Kennerley might actually be ahead of me.
He loves queer nightlife so much that he's gone and written a whole book about the long-lost gay scene of '90s New York City.
The book, Getting In: NYC Club Flyers from the Gay 1990s, includes flyers that he collected throughout the '90s from legendary spaces like the Palladium, Limelight, Splash, and Tunnel.
But out of all of these lost spaces it was The Roxy that had his heart.
We caught up to talk about his book, his early days in NYC, and his journey with his queerness.
Grab a copy of Getting In: NYC Club Flyers from the Gay 1990s
From David's site From Amazon UK From Amazon USAOther episodes about NYC lost queer spaces
'I'm Really Lucky That I'm Gay' - with Eric Marcus from Making Gay History Podcast 'Disco 2000 Was The Hub Of The Club Kids Scene' - with Abdi Nazemian "I Never Really Came Out To My Mother... She Read My Diary..." - with Sheria Mattis "Are You 'In The Life'?" - with Phil CorinFollow me
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Website: www.GettingInClubBook.com
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This week it's time to talk about love...
Now, I know what you're thinking.
Who am I to talk about love when all I seem to be interested in are firey, passionate, fleeting moments on a dancefloor?
Well, yeah, you've probably got a point there.... So, it's a good job that this is a conversation podcast and I have a guest to show me the way!
And who is that guest?
Why it is the author Neil Laird, who is currently promoting his new book 'Prime Time Travelers: a satirical MM Adventure', to tell us all about when he met his husband at the long-gone Caribou Coffee Shop in Chicago's gay village (often referred to as Boystown).
And you'll be pleased to hear that I demonstrate a smidgen of growth here, asking questions and trying to understand this love phenomenon and what it all means...
(baby steps! I'm getting there!)
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We get assigned a lot of roles in life depending on how we look, how tall we are, which family we're born in to...
Sometimes living up to these roles can be a total breeze, but other times can be an incredibly daunting, terrifying task, and overcoming these isn't in any way straightforward.
And so it's always really affirming when I get the chance to sit down and talk to someone who is on the other side of all of that and has taken the time to figure themselves out and be clear on what they want and what they don't, who they are and who they're not...
(I'm making this person sound a bit like the Dalai Lama here).
This week's guest is Matte Namer from the band The FMs.
Matte joined me to talk about The Bushwick Boat, which was an actual boat that was moored in Brooklyn, New York City, and became a party boat for over a decade. Or, as Matte described it, 'the boat with no rules'.
But, this conversation is about a lot more than a big ol' boat where people partied. After all, this is Lost Spaces, the podcast about how spaces and access to community shape who we are and who we become!
As well as the boat we talk about navigating family dynamics, embracing your kinkiness and surviving your 20s.
If you happen to be listening to this episode on Pocket Casts, did you know that they have just unleashed a new feature and you can now rate shows directly in the app?
Rating is super easy: after enjoying a few episodes of a podcast, all you need to do is tap the podcast's artwork at the top of the screen to open its details, then hit 'rate', select a star rating and enter! (go here - https://pocketcasts.com/ratings)
I would be chuffed if you could rate this show!
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What do you do if you think the scene isn't a welcoming place for you? If you don't feel particularly excited to be in spaces that are pumping out Top 40 chart hits and offering jell-o shots for £1 a go?
Well, you roll your sleeves up and you make your own night.
And that's precisely what this week's guest did (with the help of some friends, of course).
Before they were a 'self-proclaimed future award winning documentary filmmaker' Ames Pennington was discovering themself in Manchester, England, and found that the gay scene there wasn't really for them. So, before long they got going with their own club night, Disco Opposite Tesco (and, just quick side note - for those outside of the UK, Tesco is a large supermarket chain).
We caught up to talk about DIsco Opposite Tesco, but along the way there's this great conversation about leaping before you look, and attacking the things that terrify you head on.
For those in or around London who happen to be listening to this episode on the week it is released, Ames' new film TOPS is playing as part of the Queer Fringe Film Festival this Saturday 21st September at the Rio Cinema in Dalston - https://www.riocinema.org.uk/movie/tops-qa-fringe
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I sometimes rail against this notion of 'chosen family', and I always assumed that the reason I did this was because somewhere in the back of my head I was just jealous of other people who happened to find that and make that happen for themselves because that's not been my experience.
But, I had a bit of a moment of realisation in this week's conversation.
I think the reason that the concept makes me feel a bit icky is because it's almost always spoken about as this wonderful thing that everyone should aspire to, when actually the only reason it exists is due to necessity. Chosen family are there to support you when your biological family fail you.
And, yes, it's amazing, and yes, people are lucky to find these chosen families, but it's almost over-romanticised and made out to be the solution to all of your problems.
Or, maybe it is that i'm just jealous. Who knows?
Anyway, I had this epiphany when I was talking to this week's guest, the singer/songwriter J3M.
We sat down to talk about The Barn, in Toronto, Canada, and along the way we talk about being in the grips of religion, running away to the big city, and the importance of his chosen family.
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We’re going to get really cheesy this week...
You probably already know that I love me some cheesy, poetic imagery. And this week I may have stumbled upon the cheesiest thing that you ever did hear.
Now, we've talked about the importance of the dancefloor in finding community and being oneself, but we haven't ever spoken to someone who attributes the dancefloor as THE place where the queer scene, and their position in the queer scene, suddenly started to make sense.
But that’s about to change. This week I sat down with author Miah Jeffra, who was feeling kind of so-so and disconnected from the scene when he was just going to gay bars. It wasn’t until he went to the nightclub called Backstreet which was in Atlanta, Georgia, that the world started making sense and he got to find his brand of sexy.
And, yes, you read that correctly - ‘brand of sexy’.
It’ll make sense once you’ve listened to the episode.
I promise.
I hope.
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Keywords
LGBTQ+, gay, advice, 1990s, queer spaces, gay bars, gay clubs, joy, sense of belonging, dancing, crushes, deep connections, queer spaces, community, connection, self-expression, technology, younger generations, embodiment, self-acceptance
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So, I will readily admit that I was a bit naive when it came to the world of leather pageantry.
Obviously I knew that these leather competitions existed, and that they were loosely modelled on beauty pageants, but I kind of assumed that they weren't all that serious.
I just thought that people showed up, had a bit of a laugh, took a few pictures and then went home.
But, I was wrong.
And, I quickly learnt that when I sat down to talk about lost London space The Hoist with life coach and former stand up comedian John Pendal.
John also happens to be the International Mr Leather 2003, so you can rest assured he knows a thing or two about leather pageantry.
As well as excessive instances of me saying 'wow' you can expect to hear about John's sex spreadsheet, the effort he put in to preparing for the different categories of the pageant, and how he discovered his neurodiversity many years later.
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Website: https://www.leatherlondonguide.com
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The lyric to that very famous 80s TV theme song is 'sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name'.
Whilst I think that's true I also think there are times where you want to go where nobody knows your name and where there's absolutely no risk of running in to anybody that you even vaguely know.
It's that type of space that gave this week's guest - scholar, therapist and host of the Gender Studies podcast Alex Iantaffi - the courage to actually go through the front door and start to explore their queerness for the first time.
And so, in this episode, Alex takes us back to the 90s and sits us down in a corner seat in London's First Out Cafe to show us the magical, open, friendly space that made them feel welcome.
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Podcast: https://episodes.fm/1353717550
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Are you one of those people that has a crystal clear memory of where they were and how they reacted when they found out about momentous moments in history?
For instance, do you remember where you were on September 11?
When you first heard of the Covid-19 outbreak?
Most importantly, do you remember the first time you heard Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies’ being played in the club?
Well, if that final momentous (momentous!) occasion resonates with you then i think you’ll get a kick out of this week’s chat with fashion designer (and contestant on the reality show Sew Fierce) Terrence O'Brian Henderson, who is taking us on a journey to Club Odyssey in Lexington, North Carolina.
Terrence tells me how Club Odyssey helped him rediscover his love of dance, explore his gender expression, and learn to move past some of the negative preconceptions about queerness that were instilled in him growing up.
We talked about the art of not giving a fuck, the dedication needed to learn Beyoncé choreography (it's really hard!), and the perils of wearing non-stretch pants while dropping it low (I think you know how that story ends).
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I was gutted, understandably, when I found out earlier this year that my favourite queer bar, The Glory, was going to close.
But I also had a bunch of questions, as it wasn't closing for the same reason that so many others do (£££). In fact, the owners opened a brand new venue, The Divine, within days of The Glory closing its door.
So I needed to find out more...
Luckily, I got to sit down with one of the bar's owners, John Sizzle, just a few weeks after the space had closed to find out all the answers directly.
Why did The Glory close?
What was the decision?
And, crucially, how difficult was that decision to make?
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Key words: queer bar, business, LGBTQ+, HIV, coming out, queer scene, drag, bullying, uniqueness, resilience, queer venue, cozy spaces
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If you were trying to seduce someone in the audience when you were performing at a piano bar or at karaoke... what song would you sing?
I imagine you'd go for something slinky and sexy, right? Or maybe something bombastic and exuding confidence?
Well, not, it turns out, if you are this week's guest, the singer and story teller Richard Skipper, who went a decidedly different route...
But, I'm going to leave that mystery hanging, and you can find out what his go-to song was when you listen to the episode.
This week we caught up to talk about the Five Oaks, a piano bar in New York City.
Richard shares memories of the vibrant community that existed there in the 1980s and 1990s, as well as how the AIDS crisis and a serial killer tragically impacted the scene.
London folks! Richard has a show at Crazy Coqs on August 5th 2024. In it he will be celebrating the 60th anniversary of the stage show Hello Dolly, performing all of the hits and reflecting on the legacy of this iconic Broadway musical. More details can be found on the Crazy Coqs website.
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One of the things that I get asked a lot when people find out that I do this show is 'well, why are queer spaces important? bars and clubs close all the time, why should we care about them just because they're queer?'.
And there are lots of answers to that, but the one that I keep coming back to is that they aren't just businesses - they're community hubs, they're late-night befriending services, and they are places where people get to explore and push themselves.
And it was wonderful to be reminded of all of that in this week's conversation (which is our first ever episode focussed on a lost space in New Zealand!).
I got to talk to Edward Cowley, who you may know by his drag alter-ego Buckwheat, about The Staircase, a legendary space (or, spaces, rather, as it moved to a few different venues over its time) in Auckland where Edward first started going when he was underage and before homosexuality was even legal in the country.
It was here that he first found his tribe, started drag, and shook his thing on the dancefloor.
In fact, he has such an affinity to the space that he even went on to be a co-owner - and, as co-owner he made sure that the space was more than just a business, but a community hub.
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It's time to talk all about the fine art of ho-ing.
And who is going to guide us through this very important lesson?
Why, it's Mehgan Sapphire, host of the Sapphire's Earplay podcast.
Mehgan joined me to talk about her lost space, The Lexington, a San Franciscan lesbian bar that she went to when she was just a little baby gay in her college days.
Along the way we discuss late night hook ups, the road to polyamory, and, of course, the importance of good hygiene...
And once you've listened to this conversation make sure you also download this week's episode of Mehgan's show, Sapphire's Earplay, as we did a swap-a-roo and I am the guest on the latest episode!
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San Francisco in the 80s.
If you know anything about queer history then you may already know that that wasn't the most joyous of times.
And, yet, despite that... despite all that was happening in the world - heightened homophobia, and the really real fear of contracting HIV - people got on with their lives and they found and made joy.
And that is exactly what happened for promoter and party producer Daniel Nardicio, who arrived there as a young man escaping small-town Ohio.
For him San Francisco represents a period of self-discovery and self-actualisation, and there are lots of joyous memories from that time when he was finding his feet and his voice.
We caught up to talk about his early days in the city, wiling away the hours at the lost space Cafe Flore with his best friend (who you may know as the cabaret superstar Justin Vivian Bond).
It was a place where they could nurse a coffee, read books, and occasionally snoop through other people's diaries (but you’ll have to listen to the episode to find out more about that).
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One of the constant gifts of doing this show is the reminder of how privileged those of us who get to grow old are.
It’s easy to forget this in a world saturated with messages glorifying youth, but youth isn't always that great (sure, I still have crippling social anxiety, but I'm MUCH better at masking it now!).
So, getting the chance to talk to people who say, "I'm so glad I'm not the person I was at 20, 30, 40," is refreshing.
They still love the person they were, but they aren't in a hurry to go back to that time.
This week, I had the pleasure of speaking with the artist and photographer Holly Revell.
Holly spent much of their 20s and 30s as a self-described "f*g hag", always ready to party surrounded by a gaggle of gays.
But, now, looking back, they appreciate that part of their life but recognise they've outgrown the person they were.
We initially came together to talk about London's Black Cap, but our conversation went in many different directions.
You know it just goes that way sometimes, right?
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I don't know about you, but I really like the idea of being referred to as a gay elder at some point in the future.
The only part about it that worries me is that I hope I'm not expected to suddenly be wise or level-headed or clever or anything...
And though this week's guest, Eric Marcus from the Making Gay History podcast, might not like being referred to as a gay elder, he's certainly got the credentials to bear this title.
You probably already know about the Making Gay History podcast, but just in case you didn't it's an oral history podcast that explores different parts of queer history, like the AIDS crisis or growing up gay in the 70s.
In fact, the new season is celebrating the 55th anniversary of the Stonewall uprising, by exploring the myth of what that's become, and sharing stories from people who were actually there.
But, anyway, before he was a podcast host and before he was a gay geezer he was a baby gay in New York City.
And it was here that he had an adventure or two on the dancefloors of the gay bars in Manhattan. One of which was the wonderfully named Ice Palace, which we discuss in this conversation.
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Some of the topics we cover:
Queer spaces and their impact on personal growth. Sexuality, identity, and coming out in the 1970s and 1980s. Sexual experiences and encounters in the 1970s. Manhattan, and its many gay clubs. Long-distance relationship experiences and crushes. Self-esteem, attractiveness, and relationships. -
I think what's so magical about a place like London is the promise of what the city represents rather than what it can actually meaningfully offer people...
And, that might sound like a strange distinction, but for me London was always the place that I was going to run away to in order to become the person that I was meant to be. And it was here that I was going to live out my dreams and have every success in the world.
And, in some ways it didn't matter that all of those things didn't happen to me, because the magic of the city still drew me to it.
For many it still holds this promise.
In fact, it was this way for this week's guest, the artist Recognition.
London gave him this vast city where he was anonymous and able to play around with his own concept of who he was.
He did that through dating apps (of course), but also through queer sports clubs, and the many bars and nightclubs in the city.
In our chat we talk about age-gap relationships, dark rooms, and taking your shirt off on the dancefloor of the lost space XXL...
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I love the kind of people that can go through a whole bunch of bullying, a whole bunch of othering, a whole bunch of shit in their life and still come out the other end and be like 'this is who I am, take it or leave it, I'm not changing for anyone'...
And those are exactly the vibes that this week's guest, singer/songwriter Van Hechter, was putting down when we got together to talk about his lost space, KOX, which was in Montreal, Canada, and which he started going to whilst he was still in high school.
Takeaways
The KOX nightclub in Montreal was a significant place for the queer community in the 1990s. KOX provided a vibrant and inclusive atmosphere for people to express their true selves. Van Hechter reflects on his time in the closet and his relationships with both men and women. The catacombs at KOX offered a different vibe, attracting closeted men and providing a sense of secrecy and understanding. Van's experiences at KOX have influenced his current work as a performer, as he aims to recreate the feeling of acceptance and self-expression he found at the club. There was a fear of AIDS during that time Van Hechter had a conflicted relationship with his father after coming out, but eventually found forgiveness and acceptance. Self-acceptance and embracing one's uniqueness are important for personal growth and happiness.Follow me
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