Episodios
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Your decision-making process is the single most critical skill youâll ever need. Figure out how to make good decisions that align with your values, and your life will become immeasurably better. Neglect this skill and your life can turn into a nightmare faster than a speeding bullet.
So, how can you improve your decisions and, as a result, your life?Despite what most people think, you canât make better decisions by improving your logic or reasoning skills. Instead, you have to hone something most people neglect in the decision-making process: Emotions.
In todayâs show, youâll discover why your emotions are the key to better decisions and how to better control your emotions.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
How emotions you avoid âhijackâ your decision-making process and can sabotage your life (1:59) Why experiencing your emotions, not avoiding them, makes them powerless over you (2:51) The â8 Câsâ method for making sounder decisions that lead to a happier life (6:31) How to tweak your inner dialogue to make even the scariest of emotions less daunting (8:17) The âName Itâ secret that prevents fear from dominating your decision-making process (16:18) How to leverage âEmotional Momentumâ to motivate yourself in an instant (this is especially helpful when life gets tough) (22:02)For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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There is a massive, misery-inducing downside of success:
While achievements are great, they arenât enough to make life meaningful. But most achievers have been tricked into believing the exact opposite. And the more they achieve their wildest goals, the more empty they feel inside.
If you keep grinding without reflecting on why youâre so miserable, you may find yourself ready to call it quits with lifeâeven if you have external success that makes others jealous. In fact, I found myself in this exact situation: I achieved every goal I had as a teenager⊠but ended up on a ledge on the 57th floor on a skyscraper ready to jump.
Why?
Because achievements alone donât make life meaningful and conquering more goals without addressing your emotions will only make you more miserable.
But donât worry - thereâs a way out of this vicious cycle.
In todayâs episode, I reveal how you can break out of this achievement trap, why your personal happiness improves your productivity and creativity, and how to stop seeking success for successâs sake.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
The weird way groundbreaking achievements lead to ârock bottom miseryâ if you have this common flaw (1:21) A Nobel Prize-winning philosopherâs warning about how prioritizing your career torments your soul (3:48) An unusual way to improve your resilience, creativity, and better handle stress that most achievers never consider (5:27) How seeing your close friends on a regular basis can add 12 years to your life (8:25) Why dating a model and actress threw me into the deepest depressive funk Iâve ever been inâand how to avoid making this mistake in your life (19:08) How to unlock a constant stream of peak âflow stateâ according to hard, scientific data (26:30)For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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If youâre an achiever, whether you notice it or not, youâre on a dangerous path.
Why?
Well, most achievers fall into something I call the âAchieverâs Trap.â Itâs an endless vicious cycle of achieving. Now, that might not sound dangerous at first, but a constant desire for success can only lead to burnout, isolation, depression, and even an early death.
There are other things which, believe it or not, are more important to your long-term happiness and longevity than success alone.
In todayâs show, youâll discover how the Achieverâs Trap mangles your happiness, why it can lead to an early death, and what you should focus on instead of success to live a long, healthy, and fulfilling life.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
The insidious âAchieverâs Trapâ which keeps you unfilled and unhappy despite your success (and how to overcome it) (0:49) This Harvard research study reveals the only way to find lasting happiness (1:34) Why chasing success leads to burnout, loneliness, and depression (4:29) The #1 predictor of long-term happiness and a long life (10:52) How your relentless pursuit of success can sabotage your physical health (13:05) The simple mindset shift that turns your feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction into fulfillment (27:21)For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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After helping hundreds of thousands of people, from 87 different countries, find fulfillment, happiness and meaning in their personal and professional lives, Iâve decided to start a new journey to help you do the same.
Beyond Success is a brand-new show that explores the ideas that lead to lasting happiness and fulfillmentânot just short-lived âsuccess.â
If youâve succeeded on the outside but feel like something deeper is missing, this show will pave the road for your happiness and fulfillment on the inside.
In this introductory episode, I reveal the key concepts and ideas that weâll discuss on this podcast, explore how to invite more joy into your life, and shatter some of the biggest myths keeping you successful, yet unfulfilled.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Are you successful on the outside but feel like something deeper is missing? Hereâs how to feel fulfilled and successful (1:10) Why striving for perfection fast tracks you towards failure (and why focusing on this instead unlocks true happiness) (2:32) Is there a way to enjoy life and achieve your goals with more ease and efficiency? Yes, and hereâs how to do it (3:21) How embracing your emotions (instead of instantly shutting them down) improves your decision-making process (3:49) The single most dangerous word in the English language for your joy (4:19)For more about David Tian, go here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tian's step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here: https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Socially awkward guys donât get girls, thatâs the cold, hard truth. But hiding your social awkwardness and anxiety isnât the answer either. When you repress, exile, and cut out your social anxiety in order to feel good about yourself, you force it further into your subconscious.
And when you cram it into the depths of your brain? Itâs still active, and itâs still there sabotaging your success, but now youâre no longer aware of it.
Thatâs the bad news.
The good news?
You can leverage your social anxiety and awkwardness to meet and date women in your life. You just need to know how to tap into it. And in today's episode, David reveals a few strange and unique ways to free yourself from crippling shyness.
Listen now!
Show Highlights Include:
The weird way shouting from the peak of a mountain youâre a nerdy comic book fan frees yourself from crippling shyness and debilitating social anxiety (1:55) How following the ânormal solutionâ to inner conflict pollutes your subconscious with negative thoughts that sabotage your ability to have a loving relationship (2:34) Unable to find fulfillment? Hereâs how to unlock the subconscious, repressed parts of your brain (and discover how to let go of the things you canât change) (3:36) The outdated, and backward idea that âego is the enemyâ (and how to never rely on stress, anxiety, pressure, and deadlines in order to get things done ever again) (5:29) How proudly displaying your superiority complex magnetizes unconditional love, approval, and security in your self-worth (17:58)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Do you buy into the myth that success alone brings happiness and fulfillment? The techniques 95% of Americans use to strive for success, growth, and personal development guarantees they wonât be fulfilled in the long run.
There is a completely different and unique way to approach success. And itâs imperative you discover this way to gain personal happiness, success, and insane amounts of growth in your life.
In todayâs episode, youâll discover how to experience success and growth â while also being happy, fulfilled, and not having to wait until you succeed in order to be happy.
Listen now!
Show Highlights:
The polar-opposite method to build a financial empire comparable to Rome (without stress, anxiety, and depression) (1:20) How your parents lied to you about the concept of self-worth (and how this lie keeps you mired in a state of loneliness and poverty) (3:26) The counter-intuitive way dreaming of âsipping pina coladas on the beachâ will force you to become a desperate workaholic who never spends time with your kids (11:15) How immersing yourself in âflow capitalâ will scientifically unlock a never ending state of high happiness (13:28) Why youâll chain yourself down with concrete in the Hudson River if you wake up with nothing to do on Monday (14:25)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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From a young age, attractive women become masters at sniffing out neediness. Most men donât discover this fact about life until theyâve sabotaged their dating lives and relationships.
But hereâs the good news:
Thereâs a proven system for overcoming your neediness. It wonât happen overnight, but it will free you from the sadistic grip neediness has over you.
In this episode, youâll discover the 7 steps to obliterate your neediness for good.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
- How your fear about relationships dupes you into making relationship-ending mistakes (even if you donât realize it) (2:40)
- The counterintuitive reason becoming wealthy skyrockets your neediness (3:04)
- Why women can see through your inauthentic attempts to get to know their personality like Swiss cheese (4:41)
- The fundamental human needs that help you exterminate your neediness (9:03)
- Why having an agenda of picking up women when you go out subconsciously repels them from you (13:27)
- The 7 experiential steps to meet your own needs and obliterate your neediness (20:30)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery -
In order to find a loving relationship, you need to become somebody youâre not.
You need to rock a new haircut, fill your wardrobe with designer clothes, and hit the gym 24/7. You need to morph into Sean Conneryâs James Bond.
Charming, handsome, seductive, and irresistible to modern women.
Hereâs the thing: If youâre seeking a long-term relationship, this is easily the worst advice you could ever listen to!
Now, if you're optimizing your life for a short-term fling, have at it. Be the âplayer.â
But Iâm assuming you're reading this because you want a long-term relationship. And if you are, then what you need to do is unburden the already naturally attractive parts in you.
In todayâs episode, I reveal the 7 steps to unleashing the already naturally attractive parts within you.
Listen now!
Show Highlights Include:
- The âBSYANAâ myth that sabotages your chances of finding a loving relationship with the âoneâ (3:28)
- How to unleash the naturally attractive parts of yourself with these 7 steps (9:03)
- Why most men fail to be the man that modern women desire most (hint: itâs not being a macho man like Sean Conneryâs James Bond) (16:23)
- The âLASAEâ strategy to be sexually attractive in the eyes of heterosexual women (21:01)
- How to form deeper emotional connections with women by teleporting back to your teenage self (23:33)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery -
A lot of guys struggle with dating for a fundamental reason:
They donât even know themselves well enough to attract a kindred spirit. Relationships and dating become much easier when you have similar interests and values as your partner. This is particularly true at the beginning of the dating process. And it doesnât rely on you getting lucky on a dating app.
But how do you discover yourself and your true interests? And how does this naturally attract your ideal partner to you?
Well, hereâs some good news:
This self-discovery process is fun!
And after listening to this episode, youâll not only know how to take this self-discovery journey in the most effective way, but youâll also figure out how to âtwistâ this into attracting your ideal partner.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
How to optimize your lifestyle in a way that naturally brings potential partners into your life who are well suited to you (1:49) 5 simple exercises to figure out your favorite hobbies (even if youâve never done them before) (5:03) Why discovering more hobbies can naturally magnetize your ideal partner (7:07) The âSocial Aspectsâ secret for twisting your favorite hobby into a social activity (7:30) How to meet suitable romantic partners without wasting time swiping left or right on dating apps (9:14) How to build a balanced and attractive lifestyle (even if youâre naturally shy) (17:48) An unusual way to eliminate your neediness by simply having fun (21:43)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Do you ever wish you were more alpha?
Itâs a big buzzword thrown around in forums by bitter and resentful men. And if you keep striving to be more alpha, youâll suffocate your relationships, suppress your emotions, and sabotage your happiness.
Why?
Because the pop culture view of the alpha male couldnât be further from the truth about how real alphas operate. Itâs not about being feared or dominating, itâs about leading with compassion, connection, and empathy.
If you want to be a true alpha and embody real masculinity, you have to stop striving to be an alpha. Itâs counterintuitive, but effective.
In todayâs show, I debunk the myth of the alpha male, explain how striving to be more alpha leads you down a destructive and isolating path, and reveal how to embody a healthier, truer version of masculinity that leads to lasting happiness and fulfillmentâboth in your relationships and your life.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
The insidious âFake Alpha Maleâ trap men fall into when they frequent forums that leads you down a destructive and isolating path (0:31) Why true alpha males are actually the most empathetic, most protective of the weak, and the ultimate peace keepers (2:26) The root causes of wanting to be a toxic alpha male (and how addressing them leads to a happier, more fulfilled life) (6:59) Why striving to be seen as an alpha male automatically means youâre not (and how to be ok with yourself even when youâre not admired, respected, or feared) (12:51) How your desperation to be an alpha male suffocates your relationships, suppresses your emotions, and sabotages your happiness (17:44) The âAragornâ secret for embodying a healthier and truer version of masculinity (28:12)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Today Iâd like you to meet Ryan.
Ryanâs a first responder with a strong sense of fairness, and he loves to help people who need it.
Those are both noble qualities, so on the surface it all sounds great. But as Ryan processed the end of a marriage he tried to make sense of why some things bothered him so much, and why certain patterns kept repeating in his life.
He turned to me to talk about it, and together we explored how even great qualities can cause problems when theyâre driven by unresolved issues lingering beneath the surface.
This episode is definitely for you if you get enraged when people offend you, or have trouble setting boundaries. Youâll learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy boundaries, and practical questions to ask yourself as you work through situations that make you mad.
Youâll also be reminded that youâre probably not broken, you probably donât need fixing, but you, like everyone else, can still grow, improve, and mature. Remembering this can help you be more empathetic to yourself and others.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
How to know when the high standards you have for other people are justified and when they arenât. (8:29) The surprising reality behind that rage you feel and how embracing it can help you handle unprocessed resentment. (10:33) Why an empty chair can help you patch a damaged relationship. (13:03) How to set healthy boundaries so people canât hijack your emotions and live in your mind rent free. (19:00) The clear difference between healthy and unhealthy boundaries. (19:24) The stunning reason society is better when people have the right to be jerks. And the nightmare result if that right is revoked. (21:55) The only question you need to ask to know if your anger is misplaced. (23:29) Why spitting on your fatherâs grave could improve relationships. (23:43) The counterintuitive way focusing on yourself makes you more empathetic. (27:56) âSavior Cycleâ: What it is and how to know when to jump in and help, and when to stand down. (34:16) The Jean-Luc Picard method to process trauma. (35:49) The Quicksand Strategy to love somebody through their problems. (45:17)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Inside Out 2 gives you a brilliant in-depth look into your inner world. Just by watching the movie, youâll better understand yourself, your emotions, and how to handle emotions better.
But if you pair this movie with this podcast episode, youâll also discover the actionable steps you can take today to balance your emotions, access your higher self, and lead the various parts of you more effectively.
The result?
Youâll become more attractive. Youâll have an easier time dating. Youâll develop healthier and stronger relationships. And youâll create a better life for yourself all around.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Why watching movies like Inside Out 2 are more effective for mastering your emotions than many books and courses (1:39) The weird way watching Inside Out 2 can improve your dating life (3:09) How to get a better understanding of how anxiety interferes with and sabotages your life (3:42) Why the âBe Yourselfâ advice shy guys usually hear increases their anxiety (and how to get over this feeling) (5:58) How to radically improve your self-confidence by using the âFrom Withinâ secret (8:30) How anxiety hijacks your imagination and weaponizes your thoughts against you (and one trick to help ease your anxiety) (10:35) Why cold water and exercise can dramatically decrease your anxiety (12:40) An in-depth look at how anxiety affects all of your parts from an IFS lens (16:53) How to apply the lessons embedded in Inside Out 2 to real life (19:13) Why balancing your emotions instead of suppressing them leads to healthier relationships and better decisions (25:12)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Perhaps the biggest lie spread by the Red Pill community is how humans are simple slaves to our biology. This is how they rationalize the obviously irrational myth that a woman will leave you as soon as she finds a more attractive, wealthier, or higher-status man.
Not only does this myth corrupt your relationship with women, but it can even corrupt the relationship you have with yourself. The sad truth is falling for the Red Pill lies is a fast way to end up lonely, miserable, and hopeless.
Thatâs the bad news.
The good news?
Despite how attractive the Red Pill mindset can be to some men, itâs based on blatant lies. And I'll prove it in this episode.
In todayâs show, youâll discover why women arenât slaves to hypergamy and status-chasing, how you can boost your attractiveness to women, and the real characteristics women value more than wealth, status, or good looks.
If youâve been stuck in the Red Pill trap, this episode will help free you from itâbefore you wind up bitter, resentful, and hopeless.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
How adopting a âRed Pill Mindsetâ leads to bitterness and resentment at bestâand pain, self-destruction, and hopelessness at worst (0:47) Why women arenât only interested in status-chasing with their relationships (even if the Red Pill bros say they are) (3:45) The biggest misconceptions about hypergamy spread by Red Pill circles that will always make you feel less fulfilled in a relationship than you otherwise wouldâve been (7:19) How to avoid projecting your deepest, darkest secrets onto your partner (13:28) Need proof that the Red Pill community is full of you-know-what? Look no further than at⊠(16:41) 3 powerful tools for couples to help them build their emotional intelligence and adopt a growth mindset so their relationship improves over time (instead of becoming another divorce statistic) (18:46) Hate getting into fights with your partner? Hereâs how developing your EQ can transform dumpster fires into opportunities to strengthen your bond (20:13) 4 character traits that women value more than your looks, status, or wealth (27:22)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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There are two specific virtues characteristic of your higher self. These two virtues can turn your inner demons into inner supporters. They help you overcome deep-seated trauma and pain that keeps sabotaging your relationships. They can reduce your anxiety and depression. And they can make every aspect of your lifeâwhether in relationships, in your career, or anything elseâmore fulfilling and enjoyable.
So, what are these two virtues?
Courage and compassion.
While courage is generally considered masculine and compassion feminine, the combination of the two is the only way to heal you of your traumas, free yourself from the burden of resentment, and start you on a journey towards true transformative change.
But I wonât delude you: Developing courage and compassion can be difficult. Thatâs why itâs so rare when it happens in real life.
That said, itâs possible. And after listening to this episode, youâll be steps ahead of the average person towards developing these two virtues.
In todayâs show, youâll discover how courage and compassion heal and integrate your inner parts, how to balance justice and mercy after someone wrongs you, why forgiveness benefits both the forgiver and forgiven, and realize how crucial these two virtues are for creating a life without regrets.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Why hurt people hurt peopleâand how to break this vicious cycle instead of perpetuating it (0:38) How to morph your inner demons into inner supporters through the âTwo Câsâ method (1:02) The ârespond, not reactâ secret for healing your deep-rooted traumas and pains in a healthier and more effective way (5:18) How scribbling in a journal or walking in nature can help you reconnect with your true self and heal your traumas (7:03) Do you have trouble forgiving people who have wronged you? Hereâs how to free yourself from the burden of resentment (and why itâs crucial for your emotional health and relationship) (9:22) 2 exercises you can do today and for free to cultivate the skill of courage and compassion (20:11) How to react and respond better to lifeâs natural ups and downs (without being overwhelmed by negative emotions) (25:30)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Most men, especially hypermasculine men, feel like therapy doesnât work for them. Or worse yet, that therapy could never work for them.
And I get it. Not only are up to 80% of mental health workers women, but traditional psychotherapy operates through a feminine lens that further alienates masculine men.
When men go through traditional therapy, they often feel discouraged, angry, and unheard. Because the feminine approach doesn't account for their lifelong conditioning about how emotions make you weak.
But nothing could be further from the truth: Not only do emotions add all the spice to life that makes it worth living, but mastering your emotions makes you more productive and more fulfilled too.
In this episode, I explain why traditional psychotherapy often doesnât work for men, and I reveal four ways masculine men can start to accept their emotions, undo their conditioning, and use therapy to help them accomplish their goals.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Why many men are on the path that only leads to emptiness, regret, and extreme loneliness (and how to jump off this path) (1:24) The single biggest barrier to effective therapy for men (6:14) The âcolor of lifeâ mindset shift that instantly makes you feel more okay with your emotions (7:43) How the feminine approach to therapy practiced by most therapists renders therapy useless (and how to experience a more masculineâand effectiveâapproach) (8:09) All men who have resistance to their emotions needs to listen here: (13:39) This one question will start to undo your conditioning that emotions are obstacles to be avoided or solved (15:16) How a relentless drive to be productive and successful robs you of all the joys of life and turns you into an emotionless robot (19:25) 6 ways to get buy-in from your masculine protector parts that can make therapeutic effective (and an example of how one of my clients went through this process) (22:15)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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This weekâs episode is a special episode, especially if youâre an achiever (like most of our listeners are). Leon, a long-time fan from South Africa, reached out for a one-time session that doubles as a podcast interview.
While your situation might not be exactly the same as Leonâs, if youâre an achiever or struggle with abandonment issues or neediness, there will likely be several themes that apply to both your life, as well.
I treated this interview like an initial consultation. Listening will give you insights into how you could accept your inner child parts that have been filling you with emotional turmoil (even if you donât have the same exact problems as Leon does).
Best part?
Well, about a week after we recorded this interview, Leon reached out to give me an update. It blew my mindâand his initial progress will blow your mind too.
If you feel stuck, abandoned, needy, or just canât get over your desire to achieve (because youâre unconsciously looking for love), this episode will help you get on the right path.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
How being a âParentified Childâ forces you to take on your parentâs emotional struggles and become a needy adult (and how to break free from this restraint after growing up) (0:29) What to do when you feel lonely on your self-development journey and constantly ask yourself when your journey will actually end (8:52) How to start opening up and being more vulnerable when you feel like youâll be ridiculed and judged when you do (13:01) Why resisting reality is the most painful thing you can do (and how your life starts to change subtly as soon as you accept reality) (23:04) How living in a single closet in a big city as a single man can present you with more exciting opportunities than having a lavish house in a small town (26:53) Do you constantly worry that youâre not meeting your potential? Hereâs why itâs impossible to fulfill your potential (40:40) Why meeting your therapist in person is actually the worst way to leverage the therapeutic process for your self-growth (48:17) How to stop being ashamed by your neediness (and how to use it to find the relationship you want) (1:00:09) Why learning how to embrace sadness, anger, and fear is one of the best ways to embrace love (1:07:18)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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One problem that haunts every relationship, career, and life is falling into a victim mindset. When you blame others for your problems and fail to acknowledge your role, you remain stuck and helpless in this vicious cycle.
Worst part?
As your relationships start to crumble, youâll likely experience a heightened sense of anxiety and depression. And if you donât address this, your life becomes a series of missed opportunities, and unfulfilled dreams, leaving you with a sense of regret and dissatisfaction.
Thatâs the bad news.
The good news?
While itâs tough to break out of this cycle, itâs possible. And by taking full responsibility, like we discuss in todayâs episode, you can improve your relationships, your mental health, and your lifeâs accomplishments.
It wonât be easy. Learning how to take full responsibility takes time and patience. But tuning into this episode is a good first step.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
The ONLY way to break free from the stuck, powerless feeling in your relationship (0:34) How to transform from a helpless victim into an active creator of your life (1:00) Why blaming your partner for every argument you have hijacks your power to improve the relationship (and eventually leads to heartbreak) (2:17) The âauthor of your storyâ secret that liberates you and enhances your closest relationship (It can even save your marriage from the brink of divorce!) (2:55) The â4 Ultimate Concernsâ created by a renowned psychotherapist that can help you steer your life in the direction you want (5:45) How to stop relying on your girlfriend or best friends to feel complete and whole (8:25) Do this the next time you feel lonely and wish you had a partner (itâs a more effective long-term strategy that eliminates your loneliness) (9:06) Why asking yourself this question while in a heated argument with your partner allows you to resolve conflicts faster and strengthen your bond (22:51)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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When was the last time you felt true joy and fulfillment in your life?
For many achievers, this is something that they never experience. Each achievement and accomplishment is followed by another pursuit, always keeping happiness just out of your reach.
The worst part?
This relentless pursuit of success makes finding lasting happiness and fulfillment impossible.
But itâs possible to break free from this toxic cycle. In fact, there are 5 simple ways to help you break free from this cycle that I reveal in this episode.
If youâre constantly feeling like somethingâs missing in your life no matter how much you achieve, listen to this episode now. Your future self will thank you.
Show Highlights Include:
How chasing achievements leaves you unhappy and unfulfilled (even if it boosts your self-esteem in the short term) (1:04) The âDeranged Treeâ secret for ignoring societal standards that keep true happiness always out of reach (6:57) The cold, hard truth about why your successes feel hollow and isolating (12:16) Asking yourself this simple question can help you discover your ultimate purpose in life (15:46) The âKarma Yogaâ method that forces you to become fully present in the moment (16:49) How to deeply understand what brings you true joy and fulfillment with this simple weekly exercise (18:00) Why reading books for pleasure is one of the quickest ways to shift out of an anxious state of being and into a calm one (20:54) The âdancing with the musicâ mindset shift that leads to healthier relationships, better mental health, and more joy in your day-to-day life (23:26)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Neediness plagues every relationship, and achievers tend to be more needy than other people.
Why?
Well, the achieverâs desire to achieve often stems from neediness itself. Achievers think they have to earn every bit of love and approval in their lives. And then the success you achieve from this mindset tricks you into believing that this is a good trait.
However, look closely into a successful achieverâs life, and youâll see that no matter how much they achieved, thereâs a deep void of loneliness in their lives. Look closely into their relationships, and theyâre riddled with neediness.
But you know what?
Listening to this weekâs episode is a good first step to help you take off the mask of achievement that leads to loneliness and neediness.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
The insidious âDo Moreâ trap achievers fall into to eliminate their neediness that only makes it surge (0:42) 3 survival strategies you tried as a kid and how they still dominate your behaviors today (4:05) How needing external validation poisons every relationship you have from the inside out (7:38) Why success serves as a mask for your deepest insecurities (and how to take the mask off) (9:38) A key questions achievers must ask themselves to stop feeding their neediness (14:33) Downloading this app is the first step towards eliminating your neediness (23:22) Will you lose your edge if you stop striving for success and achievements? (26:54)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:
https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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Hereâs a harsh truth for many men to understand, especially the pleasers and fixers:
Itâs not your job as a man to continuously attract your woman or to make her happy. Instead, it's about understanding the elements that naturally cultivate attraction and happiness within a relationship.
But this approach to dating and attraction is a lot harder because it requires improving yourself at the deepest levels instead of putting on a façade.
But you know what?
Despite it being harder, it leads to a more fulfilling relationship. And yes, this includes sexual fulfillment too.
In todayâs episode, Iâm answering some tough questions like:
What are women actually attracted to?
What keeps women committed in a relationship, especially a long-term relationship where the initial spark has died?
And how do you not only attract a woman, but keep her?
And I reveal my 3H and 3P methods for helping you understand the complex dance of attraction and commitment that are the cornerstones of building a successful long-term relationship.
Listen now.
Show Highlights Include:
Why the initial spark in your relationship dies when you donât understand this⊠(0:56) How wondering how to attract your ideal woman is a sneaky way to display your neediness (and how to stop being needy) (3:59) The âCRWâ secret for naturally attracting women without even trying (7:08) Are women sexually attracted to wealth? Hereâs why theyâre not (even if they say they are) (13:08) How meeting the emotional needs of your partner naturally sparks, and intensifies, your attraction to her (and the âP-wordâ that strengthens these emotional bonds) (18:09) Why downloading a meditation app on your phone can significantly enhance your attractiveness to women (20:06) How to both improve the sexual relationship with your partner while also strengthening the emotional bonds that glue the relationship together (28:57)Does your neediness, fear, or insecurity sabotage your success with women? Do you feel you may be unlovable? For more than 17 years, Iâve helped thousands of people find confidence, fulfillment, and loving relationships. And I can help you, too. Iâm therapist and life coach David Tian, Ph.D. I invite you to take this quick quiz to access my free Masterclasses on dating and relationships at https://dtphd.com/quiz now.
For more about David Tian, go here:https://www.davidtianphd.com/about/
Emotional Mastery is David Tianâs step-by-step system to transform, regulate, and control your emotions... so that you can master yourself, your interactions with others, and your relationships... and live a life worth living. Learn more here:https://www.davidtianphd.com/emotionalmastery
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