Episodios
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Chris is longing for a simpler time before we all had cellphones. Jessie is avoiding self checkouts at all costs because she doesn't work at Target.
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It's gala season for Chris and Jessie. Chris is getting ready for his big night at Bette Midler's party. Jessie is getting ready for the season with the best tailor in town. Hallmarks make their triumphant return for a very spooky love story in honor of halloween.
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Chris is tired from traveling Jessie reflects on pooping in her pants.
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Chris is looking for a halloween costume that doesn't shed. Jessie is looking for suggestions on someone to help her manage her vast wealth.
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Jessie is a fan of free samples everywhere including the weed store. Chris can't decide if he thinks New Years Eve or Halloween are more overrated.
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Chris breaks down his iconic skin routine and gives an update on the new puppy's health. Jessie is scared to remember her college experiences.
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Chris is trying to get to the bottom of whether or not he's been going out slutty. Jessie is looking to have some spooky fun this autumn looking for some extra pumpkins and haunted houses.
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Chris and Jessie are dismayed by the way society treats the elderly, but not upset enough to avoid fighting over the age old question "can you loiter in a coffee shop without buying anything?"
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Jessie tries to get things going with an old hookup buddy only to find that the communication has gotten much, much worse. Despite watching a full documentary on roller coaster deaths, Chris still wants to go to an amusement park. Improv also returns as the summer wains down .
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Chris and Jessie break down the Blake Lively drama, discuss how fun being a server on a yacht would be, and make an attempt at some summer improv.
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The Olympics is getting Jessie in her feels, longing to return to sports and renew her athletic career. Chris feels like the summer has been chaotic and forcing him to give Kathy Bates in "Misery" energy.
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Jessie is having a tough time with rehabbing her neck injury but is hoping talking it will loosen her up. Chris loves sports with no stakes played at bars. The one thing they can both agree on, psychic mediums should not be negative.
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On a very special public release of the Patreon high episode, Chris and Jessie chop it up over everyone's favorite inside jokes and public bits. Asking for a sweater in the summer because you're pretending you're freezing? Hilarious, always. To hear all the high episodes, head to https://www.patreon.com/middlechildren
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Jessie is on one today as she attempts to navigate the NYC dating jungle filled with polyamorous snakes. Chris just wants to find a cup of coffee in this damn city for less than 11 dollars. After a few false starts, they get to a summer Hallmark with a lot of kissing in a woodshed.
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Chris is questioning his own sexual repression and trying to be less judgmental of himself. Jessie just wants all the hospitals in the world to be prettier and have fish tanks maintained by nurses.
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Jessie needs a ruling on a new guy that may end up just being a very good karaoke buddy. Chris needs clarity on whether a binge is a muckbang. They also attempt to do a summer Hallmark but quickly abort because summer is all about having fun.
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Chris is just looking for a hot guy with a big pool this summer. Jessie is pondering a brief trip to Disney World with an option to become a Disney adult.
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Jessie is collecting sea shells to make crafts and jewelry. Chris is thinking about going horseback riding but isn't sure if it's safe. Later they do an extremely dramatic, extremely serious, and extremely suspenseful Hallmark.
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Jessie tells the tale of a sexy whirlwind summer date and polls the room on the right way to initiate a second date while Chris is cruising at the Beetlejuice themed bar.
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