Episodios
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When we enter a space of feeling better after a long time of feeling down, it can take effort to stay there - an effort that can feel unfamiliar and difficult, especially if weāve grown used to feeling down. In the same way as any new skill, practicing the things that make us feel better is something that takes time and effort. Give yourself time and patience, but donāt stop in your efforts to feel better - you deserve all the good things they will bring.
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Sometimes, when doing the things I have to do, I feel like I have no choice. Feeling that way makes me feel resentful and powerless, so I try to remind myself that though I may not like my options sometimes, I always have some kind of choice. If Iām not happy in a situation and feel like the options I have arenāt good ones, all I can do is make the choices that I feel will give me better options and improve my overall situation. There are always choices and there is always hope!
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I have written my first book! I wasnāt able to talk about it during the process of writing, so this episode has been a long time coming. From writing the proposal to finishing the book itself, I wanted to share the whole journey with you. My book is called āFrequently Happyā and you can find it wherever you buy your books - you could even type āDavid Larbi Frequently Happyā into any search engine and youād find it! Thank you for everything, thank you for listening and have a wonderful week.
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Iāve been struggling a little bit recently. Nothing dramatic, no cause for concern, just one of those periods where everything feels a bit much and I feel myself coming up frustratingly short in areas Iāve worked hard at being better in. Itās important during times like these to remember that the lessons Iāve learnt and strength Iāve built hasnāt gone anywhere - I just need to be good to myself until Iām back to 100%.
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Sometimes it can be easier to sit in the safety blanket of a perfect idea and let the intrinsic pleasure of imagination keep us warm. It takes work and courage to bring ideas to life in their fullness, but thatās an effort worth making. Ideas become even richer when we bring them to life.
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Welcome back! I took an unscheduled and unexpected break from the podcast for health reasons, but I feel rested, recovered and very, very happy to be back with you. During the past few months Iāve really had to rely on my support network and rely on some of the things I find most challenging - vocalising my needs and asking for help. This year has been a lesson in letting myself rely on people and getting over my fear of actually asking for what I need. Hinting isnāt asking for help - sometimes we need to clear our throats, dig deep and ask aloud for what we need!
Doing so is good for us, good for the people who care for us and good for our relationships.
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Another Q&A Episode, as is tradition every tenth episode! As ever, I chose the questions that I feel best positioned to answer according to life right now - I hope my answers are well-received and of value. As ever, thank you for being here and thank you for listening. Hereās to the next ten episodes!
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When it comes to tackling tasks I know will likely bring discomfort, I can find it difficult to get out of my head and into gear. Sometimes, though, thatās all thatās left to do. We can only think so much before doing, and sometimes difficulty is far greater in the hypothesis than in reality. Itās up to me to act, then deal with any difficulties as they arise rather than letting hypothetical difficulty stop me from acting. Make it real, then deal!
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When encountering familiar difficulties which weāve overcome before, it can feel frustrating that weāre finding the same things difficult once more. It causes me to question my own growth and progress. Some things, however, are simply difficult in nature. To struggle with the same things does not mean we havenāt grown, itās simply indicative of lifeās changing nature. We can find the same things difficult, but deal with them better than we ever would have before.
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Sometimes, good things come to an end. Things being fleeting can make them precious; good things donāt have to last forever for them to have the impact they need to. They still resonate into the future, and are always worth experiencing even if they donāt last as long as we hoped.
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Iāve been making a conscious effort to occupy my time wisely. If Iām not careful, I give in to my need to constantly feel as though Iām actively working hard and doing something all the time - in other words, sometimes I busy myself needlessly. Being more intentional about my time is much better for my health, and something I am doing my best not to compromise on.
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When things are difficult, I think about quitting. Itās a logical thought process, and one I no longer take any shame in. To understand and explore my desire to quit is to give my feelings credibility and make a decision I can truly stand behind, and continuing when I know I could have given up is when I see how strong I can be.
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The thought, āI canāt be bothered to do thisā happens at the time when I could, in fact, conveniently do this - I just donāt feel like it. Getting over that feeling and deciding more often to think āmight as wellā and do it, is something I never regret. Itās not the biggest deal in the world, but the more I decide āmight as wellā, the better my life is in the small ways that add up.
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Iāve been working for a long time, years, on being consistent in many areas of my life. Iām in a place now where I can see progress even as I look to improve, which feels really nice. Building consistency isnāt easy but the principles are simple, and itās something we can all do!
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When I mess up, I find it hard to forgive myself and let go. The problem with this is it that I then miss the opportunity to be present, understand my actions, move forward and heal. Forgiving myself is a practice I am working hard on.
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If Iām not careful, I find it all too easy to equate my self-worth to how productive Iām being and what Iām achieving at the present time. Building better self-esteem comes from understanding that I have value no matter what Iām currently achieving, and productivity and achievement are useful but should not be my only validation.
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Welcome to another Q&A Episode! I meant to answer 20 and realised I accidentally fell one short - letās say I owe you one! 30 episodes is quite a few, and I only grow to love this more the more I do it, so thank you so very much for listening.
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I often find myself wishing time away over small inconveniences and the type of general difficulty that comes as a part of life. It stops me being present and appreciative, and itās something I want to work on doing far less of!
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āSelf-sabotage: behaviour or thoughts, especially of an involuntary or unconscious nature, that are harmful to oneās own interests or development.ā
Self-sabotage, as the name suggests, is deeply personal and everyone has their individual reasons for engaging in it. Iām very much a work in progress, but Iāve really become much better at understanding the root causes and thought processes that have lead me to do so in the past.
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