Episodios
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When you hear "objectification," you probably think of something sexual. But it shows up in parenting more than we realize.
It happens when we see our kids as a reflection of us, a measure of our success, or a project to manage instead of a person to understand. And once that shift happens, it becomes easier to justify frustration, control, and disconnection.
In this episode, I walk you through the subtle ways this shows up with your teen and how to catch it early. Awareness alone can change everything, but I will also show you exactly how to shift your thinking and your behavior so you can see your child clearly again.
This is one of those conversations that, once you see it, you cannot unsee it. To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.
There is a legitimate reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your struggles can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
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Humans are wired to look for an enemy. And when things feel hard with your teen, it is easy to turn them into the problem. But that approach quietly creates more distance.
In this episode, I revisit one of my most important conversations about what it really looks like to be on the same team as your teen. You will learn how to catch the habit of "us vs them," shift into connection, and respond in ways that actually bring you closer.
I will give you simple, practical ways to stay on your teen's side, even when things feel tense, emotional, or off track. Because you and your teen were never meant to be opponents.
To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.
There is a legitimate reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your struggles can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
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¿Faltan episodios?
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This is a reprise episode of "ep. 89 Letter of the Law". I am going to break down the value of rules and consequences in parenting, as well as the application of how to create and follow through with rules and consequences. This is a really common topic with clients and will be very helpful to those struggling with navigating this area where teens tend to give a lot of pushback.
To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.
There is a legitimate reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your struggles can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
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This weeks episode is a throw back of ep. 158. I teach you how to know the answer to a common and often painful question: Am I a good parent? It can be a scary thing to consider, but I invite you to have me along as you do.
To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.
There is a legitimate reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your struggles can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
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What if love isn't just sweet and soft? What if it's actually the strongest force for good, for change?
In this final episode of my LOVE series, I'm talking about why love changes people in ways pressure, fear, shame, criticism, control, and consequences never can.
As parents, partners, and humans, we often try to create change by pushing harder, worrying more, managing outcomes, or protecting ourselves from disappointment. But real, lasting change doesn't usually happen through force—it happens through safety, connection, truth, and love.
I'll share why love is not passive, permissive, or weak. Love holds boundaries. Love sees clearly. Love invites growth. And love- especially when it's grounded and mature, has the power to soften hearts, heal relationships, and create transformation in ourselves and the people we care about.
This episode ties together everything we've explored in the LOVE series: loving ourselves, loving our teens, emotional regulation, connection, advocacy, flexibility, and showing up differently even when it's hard.
Because in the end, love isn't just something we feel.
It's something we practice.
And it may be the most powerful catalyst for change we have.
To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.
There is a legitimate reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your struggles can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
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"I love you" might not be getting the job done.
Most parents believe that saying the words should be enough—but with teenagers, love isn't always received the way we intend it. Sometimes the most powerful ways to show love are the ones we don't naturally think of.
In Episode 11 of the Pivot Parenting LOVE series, Sonja Suthar and I explore creative, out-of-the-box ways to love your teen so they actually feel it. We talk about the role of respect, the Four H's of connection, and how to encourage kids to help out around the house without constant tension.
In this conversation, you'll learn:
Why your teen's behavior usually isn't about you
What teens actually hear when we lecture about video games, TikTok, and screen time
Small communication shifts that dramatically strengthen connection
How to express love in ways your teen can truly receive
This episode is full of practical, real-life tools you can start using today to deepen trust, improve communication, and help your teen feel valued and understood.
Because when love is expressed in ways teens can actually hear, something powerful happens—they begin to understand just how precious they are to you.
About my guest: Sonia is a 19-year-old founder of Cloud 9 focused on helping teens build leadership, emotional intelligence, and entrepreneurial life skills. Through workshops and speaking engagements, she supports young people and their parents in developing confidence, communication, and real-world readiness while strengthening connection at home.
You can find Sonia here: cloud9go - instagram
www.linkedin.com/in/soniakatara
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hVqO3ESJ9fo -TEDX
https://www.facebook.com/cloud9go To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.There is a solid reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your weaknesses can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
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Why are teens often the hardest on the people who love them most? And how do we keep loving our teens well when they're rude, angry, defensive, disrespectful, or pushing us away?
In part 10 of my LOVE series on the Pivot Parenting Podcast, I'm talking about what's really going on underneath "difficult" teen behavior and why so many of us end up escalating instead of helping calm the situation. When emotions run high, it's easy to imitate our teen's energy rather than regulate our own—but that usually creates more distance, not more connection.
I'll talk about why teens can become prickly during adolescence, how we can deescalate instead of adding fuel to the fire, and why love is often needed most when our teens are struggling the most. Not because we ignore bad behavior or stop holding boundaries, but because connection is what gives us influence long term.
If you're exhausted by conflict, walking on eggshells, or wondering how to love your teen without becoming permissive, this episode will help you show up with more peace, clarity, and emotional strength.
To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.
There is a solid reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your weaknesses can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
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Advocating matters. But what matters more is how you model it. Love is the key!
Your teen is learning how to speak up, set boundaries, and handle hard situations by watching you. Not just what you say, but how you say it. Emotions matter.
In this episode of the Love series, we talk about what it actually looks like to model healthy advocacy in real life.
You'll learn:
How your behavior teaches your teen to advocate for themselves
How advocacy is an expression of love, not control
What it looks like to speak up with calm, clarity, and respect
How modeling this builds trust, confidence, and connection
This is about showing your teen, in real time, how to use their voice so they learn how to use their own.
To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.
There is a solid reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your weaknesses can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
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Loving people is simple in theory and much harder in real life. Especially when it comes to your ex, your teen's frienemies, or the adults who haven't treated your child well.
So the question comes up fast.
Why would I love them?In this episode, I walk you through why loving difficult people matters, how it benefits you and your family, and what it actually looks like in real life. You will learn how this approach strengthens your relationship with your teen, reduces conflict, and brings more peace into your home without ignoring what is wrong.
To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.
There is a solid reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your weaknesses can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
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If loving your teen feels heavy, confusing, or even painful… this episode will shift that.
Love doesn't hurt. But what we think love is? That often does. In this episode, I walk you through what parents mistake for love, how that creates distance, and how to come back to something that actually feels steady and true.
You'll walk away with:
A better understanding of yourself
A deeper way to love your teen
A simple 3-step process to feel peace and stay connected, no matter what's happening
This is about loving your kids in a way they can actually feel, and that feels better for you too. To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.
There is a solid reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your weaknesses can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
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What if what you're calling failure… isn't failure?
When your child's life, or your parenting, doesn't look how you thought it would, it can bring up shame, guilt, and that quiet sense of "I got this wrong."
But what if you're not wrong… you're just being invited to grow?
In this episode, we talk about how to see clearly without making it mean something about your worth (go back to Episode 311 on self-love), why your teen's struggles are actually part of their path, and how faith looks different when you stop needing everything to go your way.
Because they're supposed to struggle. And you're supposed to grow too. (It's kind of the whole point) xoxo
To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.
There is a solid reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your weaknesses can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
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They hug you
...They trash talk you in their texts.
They confide in you
...They lie to you.
They tell you they love you
...They break your rules.It can feel like a roller coaster—loving them deeply while also feeling hurt, confused, or unsure where you stand.
In this episode, I talk about why love can feel so elusive when we misunderstand how it's created—and how understanding the dynamics of love changes everything. Spoiler: love isn't something that the universe sprinkles down on us, beyond our control.
If you've ever questioned the love between you and your teen, this will help you see it more clearly and create more of it.
To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.
There is a solid reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your weaknesses can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
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What's your favorite TV show? Today I talk about how the stories we love can teach us emotional flexibility—and how that flexibility expands our ability to love our teens well.
In this episode, I share the three parts of structured flexibility that help us connect better, find more happiness, and express love more effectively as parents.
If you've been feeling stuck, rigid, or unsure how to respond well when things don't go as planned, this conversation will help you bend instead of break.
To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.
There is a solid reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your weaknesses can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
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Our teen is grumpy, we find something we sished didn't exist, we are angry, frustrated and just want to fix it all.
What parents may not realize is that they're parenting out of disregulation and that often causes it's own set of problems.
While we may not associate LOVE and REGULATION with each other, they go hand in hand- listen in as I explain how.
To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.
There is a solid reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your weaknesses can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
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If we want our kids to be okay with their imperctions, not beat themselves up, and expect others to treat them with respect, there is a practice we parents need to improve- self love. Our kids learn how to see themselves by how we see ourselves.
It is a common misconception that if we think we're awsome, we're proud. Not always so- listen in as I explain the difference between perfectionism and self love- this is a concept that will bless you and your childrens lives forever!
I reference one of my favorite presentations on love by Adam Miller at FaithMatters. 10/10 recommend
Love is a Law not a Reward
To more fully understand, embrace and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.
There is a solid reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your weaknesses can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
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Welcome to the new Pivot Parenting series on LOVE! I love love, and over the next several episodes, I'll be focusing on different aspects of how we love ourselves, our teens, our partners, and our families. They all intersect. After more than six years of coaching, I see the patterns, dysfunction, and healing that love is deeply involved in.
Love needs very specific nutrients to grow. Today, I'm talking about what must come first if we want to nurture real love: safety.
Don't scroll away assuming this doesn't apply to you. It does. We are all flawed. We all mess up. And sometimes we unintentionally create hurt in our teen-parent relationships.
If you have ever:
Dismissed, downplayed, or gotten defensive about your teen's criticism, this is for you.
Wondered why your kids won't talk to you, this is for you.
Behaved in ways you regretted later, this is for you.
Felt triggered by your kids, this is for you.
Tried your hardest and still felt like you're falling short in connection, this is for you.
I'm not here to beat you up for your mistakes. I love you. Truly. I want you to create a safe space—for yourself and for your kids.
Love is the solution. Listen in while I explain.
To more fully understand, embrace, and implement what I teach, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call with me.
There is a solid reason you're feeling stuck, broken, or are hurting. I will help you discover it so that you can heal it. I firmly believe that your weaknesses can become your strength. Let me show you how. xoxo
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Many parents interpret their teen's behavior as disrespect—but what if your child is actually trying to answer a deeper question: Do I belong here?
When we get triggered, our brains can quickly jump to worst-case assumptions about our teenagers—their attitude, their silence, their choices. That's where the biggest disconnects happen, and it's often not about defiance at all. It's about misunderstanding what teens need as they navigate identity, independence, and connection.
In this episode, Dr. Kelly and I unpack some of the most common parenting pitfalls that create tension at home—and how to avoid them. We talk about how to stay calm in the moments that matter most, what's really going on developmentally with teens, and practical strategies you can start using today to build more trust, communication, and emotional safety in your relationship.
Want personalized insight into what's happening in your family?
Schedule your Discover Your Pattern of Disconnection call with Heather.About my Guest: Dr. Kelly Flanagan is an award-winning author, international speaker, concierge coach, and licensed clinical psychologist with two decades of expertise in interpersonal relationships. His thought leadership has been featured in The 5 Love Languages, the TODAY Show, Reader's Digest, HuffPost, and Success Magazine. Kelly's two non-fiction books, Loveable and True Companions, debuted as #1 New Releases in Interpersonal Relations, and his national bestselling first novel, The Unhiding of Elijah Campbell, has earned multiple literary awards. Kelly is a sought-after international speaker who counts the Green Bay Packers amongst his audiences. The proprietary frameworks in his next book, The Road Less Triggered: Turning Conflict into Connection with a Single Choice, will take the connection in your relationships to levels that traditional communication strategies can't touch. You cacn find Dr Kelly here:
Book: https://roadlesstriggered.com
Community: https://drkellyflanagan.substack.com
Website: https://drkellyflanagan.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drkellyflanagan
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drkellyflanagan/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/ -
This is the last episode in this six-part series—and honestly, it's the one that puts it all together and matters most.
Because at some point, every parent hits the wall. You've tried the consequences, the talks, the reminders, the worrying, the hoping they'll grow out of it. And you're left thinking, Why isn't this working? What am I missing?
Here's the hard but hopeful truth: the change you're waiting for doesn't start with your teen. It starts with you.
In this episode, I talk about the shift that finally brings relief—the moment you stop trying to manage your teen's behavior and start understanding what's happening inside you instead. That's where the cycle begins to break. That's where connection starts to come back. Not someday. Now.
If you've been stuck in the same arguments, the same hurt feelings, the same distance, this conversation will help you see why—and what's actually within your power to change.
You don't have to keep guessing. And you don't have to do this alone.
Book a free "Discover Your Disconnection Pattern" call with me.
We'll spend 45 minutes looking at what's really going on in your relationship with your teen and identify the pattern that's keeping you stuck—so you can finally move forward with clarity and peace.
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Instant Relief Hack: Conflict Doesn't Mean Something Is Broken
A few years ago, my son walked out of the room mid-conversation and wouldn't come back.
I remember standing there, heart pounding, replaying every word. I'm just trying to help.
But whatever I meant to do… it wasn't working.For a long time, I treated moments like that as proof that something was wrong. Wrong with me. Wrong with him. Wrong with our relationship.
But what if tension doesn't mean failure?
What if conflict isn't a sign your family is broken?In this episode, I'm sharing the reframe that gave me instant relief in the middle of parenting turbulence—and why so many parents misinterpret normal developmental friction as something catastrophic.
We'll talk about why healthy families still clash, why transitions (especially the teen years) feel so destabilizing, and how two people who deeply love each other can accidentally collide in ways that look like rejection.
If you've ever thought, "Good families don't fight like this" or "We shouldn't be struggling this much," this episode will shift how you see what's happening in your home.
The conflict isn't the problem.
It's the pattern underneath it.And once you see it, everything changes.
If you're ready to understand your specific disconnection pattern and get personalized support, book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern call.
You don't have to keep guessing. Let's figure it out together.
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Few things hurt like this: the child who once couldn't get enough of you now barely looks up from their phone. Doors are closed. Eye rolls are constant. And somewhere deep down, a quiet fear creeps in—Did I lose them?
In this episode, we're talking about one of the most misunderstood parts of parenting teens: their push for independence. So many parents experience it as rejection, disrespect, or loss—when in reality, something very different may be happening beneath the surface.
I share a client story that perfectly captures this moment, and a perspective that completely changes how parents understand distance, detachment, and emotional growing pains during the teen years.
If you've ever wondered whether your teen's need for space means you did something wrong—or if the closeness you once had is gone for good—this episode will bring relief, clarity, and a much-needed reframe.
Because the goal was never to keep a child.
It was to raise a strong, functioning adult who still wants a relationship with you.If you're feeling disconnected and want help understanding what's actually happening in your relationship, I'd love to support you.
Book a free Discover Your Disconnection Pattern consult call here
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