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After over 300 days of sobriety, Sean and Dayne reflect on the emotional challenges they still face. While their addiction recovery has brought progress, the journey is far from over. In this episode, they explore how their health and healing are interconnected and why the more they heal, the more they uncover areas that still need attention.
What's Still Bothering Us After 300 Days of Sobriety?
"I still deal with issues of self-esteem and measuring my worth and value."
Even with the progress made in recovery, old struggles don’t simply disappear. Both hosts discuss the persistent challenges they face around self-worth, especially when life outside of recovery—like career challenges—brings stress that can trigger old patterns.
Stress, Life Challenges, and Addiction Triggers
Life doesn’t stop, and neither do the stresses that can push them toward old habits. Dayne opens up about how career challenges and life rejections can feel like affirmations of his failures, causing his brain to make unhealthy connections between those experiences and his ability to maintain sobriety.
"When I get declined for a job interview, does it say something about my worth? Does it trigger my brain to think of myself as a failure?"
“Am I even good enough to receive the grace I’m being given?”Insecurity and the Impact on Sobriety
"Anything that triggers my insecurities can challenge my sobriety."
Even though some insecurities may not be directly related to their addiction, their minds can still make harmful correlations. They discuss how insecurity, even in areas unrelated to addiction, can bring about dangerous thoughts that threaten their recovery.
"Long-term sobriety has helped me start to separate my emotional pain from my old acting-out patterns."
"Life challenges and high emotional pain can still trigger me, but now I can see them more proactively."
"Watching porn and masturbation is no longer a normal way of managing pain for me."
"It really grosses me out and makes me angry that I used porn and masturbation for so long to manage my emotions."The Ongoing Battle: Recognizing Patterns and Growth
"I love that you’re noticing emotional patterns in your life more proactively."
"Am I taking anger from my past addiction and unleashing it on other parts of my life?"Despite the progress, Sean recognizes that recovery is a long-term process.
"I can’t overcome years of issues in just one year."
"The addict Sean took over my life for so long. Now that the addict isn’t in the driver’s seat, other parts of my personality are being heard and expressing their issues."Sobriety and the Root Cause: The Necessary First Step
Sean emphasizes that sobriety was essential to uncovering the root causes of his addiction and emotional struggles.
"Sobriety and finding the root cause is not a chicken-and-egg problem for me."
He explains that he needed sobriety first to begin addressing the underlying issues—issues that had been buried for years.
This episode is sponsored by Relay, the #1 program for finding lasting freedom from addiction. With Relay, you’ll rewire your brain through daily, guided exercises and the power of a supportive community. Ready to start your journey? It’s just 1 dollar a day! Visit joinrelay.app or click the link in the show notes to get started. And don’t forget to use promo code BSB20 for 20% off your membership.
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If you've been struggling with addiction for as long as we have, you've likely experienced countless attempts to start fresh. We all remember those moments—birthdays, Christmases, and New Year's Eves—when we promised ourselves that this would be the time we turned things around. The day after a relapse, motivated by the hope of a fresh start, we dive in once again, only to face new challenges.
In this episode, Sean and Dayne share their personal experiences with "fresh starts" in their recovery journey. Reflecting on their past struggles and triumphs, they also discuss their hopes for the future, especially as they look ahead to their first clean year in decades. This conversation highlights key aspects of starting fresh, from rebuilding relationships to developing healthier habits.
Fresh Start and Its Impact on Our Loved Ones:
"I didn't realize how disconnected I was with my wife and kids."
Recovery isn't just about the individual—it's about reconnecting with the people who matter most. Sean and Dayne talk about the sometimes painful realization that their addiction led to emotional distance from their loved ones.
Fresh Start and Continuous Learning:
"The healthier I get, the more I realize how unhealthy I have been."
The journey to recovery is a process of continuous learning. Both Sean and Dayne explore how the more they heal, the clearer it becomes how deeply their addiction impacted their lives, shaping unhealthy patterns and mindsets.
Fresh Start and Building Consistent, Positive Patterns:
"I have not done anything more consistently and repeatedly than porn and masturbation for over 20 years."
Consistency is key, but it often works against us in addiction. In this segment, Sean and Dayne discuss how they've had to rebuild their lives from the ground up, creating new, healthier habits in place of destructive routines they've held onto for years.
Fresh Start and Reconnecting with Your Community:
"If your community doesn't know your story, it's not part of your support system."
Recovery is rarely a solitary journey. Both hosts emphasize the importance of being open with your support network—without sharing your struggles, that community can't truly support you.
Finally, the episode concludes with Sean and Dayne sharing examples of realistic goals and positive patterns they are focusing on for the new year, illustrating what a fresh start looks like in the context of real recovery.
This episode is sponsored by Relay, the #1 program for finding lasting freedom from addiction. With Relay, you’ll rewire your brain through daily, guided exercises and the power of a supportive community. Ready to start your journey? It’s just 1 dollar a day! Visit joinrelay.app or click the link in the show notes to get started. And don’t forget to use promo code BSB20 for 20% off your membership.
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The holiday season can be especially tough for those in recovery, often bringing up feelings of loneliness, stress, and the pressure of unrealistic expectations. With love, family, and tradition at the forefront of every movie, song, and gathering, how do we stay sober and true to ourselves?
In this episode, we hear from two guests with different lengths of sobriety: one early in his journey, and the other with 890 days of sobriety under his belt. Together, they share their struggles, insights, and strategies for navigating the complexities of the holidays while staying sober.
Some key takeaways from our discussion:
"Through my work with my therapist, I’ve realized that my use of pornography had little to do with sex. It was more about how I managed stress and pain in my life.""The holidays disrupt my routine, and that can be tricky.""How much of the holiday pressure is cultural, family-imposed, or self-imposed?""I use the Relay app to track six things I do every day, whether it’s December 24th or any other day.""I hate the holidays — the expectations, the pressure, and the family dynamics.""I’m choosing not to spend the night at my parent’s house.""You can’t control everything that happens during the holidays, but you can control your response if you prepare.""Get out of the house and don’t isolate yourself."Tune in to hear honest reflections and practical advice for navigating sobriety during the holiday season.
This episode is sponsored by Relay, the #1 program for finding lasting freedom from addiction. With Relay, you’ll rewire your brain through daily, guided exercises and the power of a supportive community. Ready to start your journey? It’s just 1 dollar a day! Visit joinrelay.app or click the link in the show notes to get started. And don’t forget to use promo code BSB20 for 20% off your membership.
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In this episode, we dive into the topic of complacency in the sobriety journey. Is complacency about:
Getting too comfortable in your recovery?Overestimating your control over your addiction?Losing touch with the struggles of the past?Join three men as they share their personal experiences navigating addiction recovery. Together, we explore how complacency has shown up in their lives and the strategies they use to stay grounded in their recovery. This is a powerful conversation on how to stay committed to healing, growth, and mental health in the long run.
This episode is sponsored by Relay, the #1 program for finding lasting freedom from addiction. With Relay, you’ll rewire your brain through daily, guided exercises and the power of a supportive community. Ready to start your journey? It’s just 1 dollar a day! Visit joinrelay.app or click the link in the show notes to get started. And don’t forget to use promo code BSB20 for 20% off your membership.
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In this episode, we dive into the mental complexity of sobriety with two guests sharing their recovery journeys. We explore the subtle yet powerful gaps and loopholes that can threaten long-term sobriety—how our brains often battle between setting boundaries and subconsciously searching for ways to bypass them. This conversation sheds light on the challenges of recognizing these patterns and staying committed to the path of recovery.
This episode is sponsored by Relay, the #1 program for finding lasting freedom from addiction. With Relay, you’ll rewire your brain through daily, guided exercises and the power of a supportive community. Ready to start your journey? It’s just 1 dollar a day! Visit joinrelay.app or click the link in the show notes to get started. And don’t forget to use promo code BSB20 for 20% off your membership.
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Take a moment to revisit a powerful question from Episode 17, where a panel of men in recovery share what sobriety truly means to them. This re-listen offers an inspiring opportunity to reflect on their stories and energy—giving you a chance to consider your own motivations and drivers for sobriety in your life.
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In this episode, we tackle the complex question: Is masturbation okay? Focusing on its impact on dopamine levels, we explore how the act of masturbation can influence the brain's reward system, especially for those in recovery from porn addiction. Can frequent masturbation derail sobriety, or is it a harmless release? We also debate whether masturbation itself can become addictive, leading to negative consequences in one's life. Join us for an in-depth conversation about the role of masturbation in addiction recovery and its potential to impact mental health and personal growth.
This episode is sponsored by Relay, the #1 program for finding lasting freedom from addiction. With Relay, you’ll rewire your brain through daily, guided exercises and the power of a supportive community. Ready to start your journey? It’s just 1 dollar a day! Visit joinrelay.app or click the link in the show notes to get started. And don’t forget to use promo code BSB20 for 20% off your membership.
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In this episode, we explore the hidden dangers of pornography with LCSW Aaron Brakhaneh (www.compassCC.org, www.betterhelp.com). Together, we dive into the social, psychological, and mental health impacts of porn addiction. From its effects on relationships to its role in shaping unrealistic expectations, we examine how pornography can be detrimental to emotional well-being and personal growth. Tune in to hear expert insights on why breaking free from this addiction is crucial for mental health and healthy connections.
This episode is sponsored by Relay, the #1 program for finding lasting freedom from addiction. With Relay, you’ll rewire your brain through daily, guided exercises and the power of a supportive community. Ready to start your journey? It’s just 1 dollar a day! Visit joinrelay.app or click the link in the show notes to get started. And don’t forget to use promo code BSB20 for 20% off your membership.
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In this unique and deeply personal episode, we bring together 11 men in recovery from pornography and other sexual compulsive behaviors for an insightful panel discussion. These individuals share their diverse experiences, emotional journeys, and the lessons they've learned along the way, offering both moments of struggle and triumph.Together, they answer questions submitted by others on a similar path, covering topics such as:
How has pornography impacted your life?What held you back from seeking help sooner?Why do I feel trapped in these behaviors?Did you experience a pivotal “aha” moment in your recovery?What positive emotional, physical, or mental changes have you noticed in yourself since beginning recovery?How do you practice self-love and self-care in your journey?What does sobriety mean to you?This raw and candid conversation offers valuable insights for anyone navigating their own recovery, and serves as a reminder that healing is possible, no matter where you are on your journey.
This episode is sponsored by Relay, the #1 program for finding lasting freedom from addiction. With Relay, you’ll rewire your brain through daily, guided exercises and the power of a supportive community. Ready to start your journey? It’s just 1 dollar a day! Visit joinrelay.app or click the link in the show notes to get started. And don’t forget to use promo code BSB20 for 20% off your membership.
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- Why do we watch porn?
- What is it doing, "solving", masking for us?
- Why do I trick myself to watch porn"?
- Why do I "need" it?
- Why do I watch it even though I am grossed out by my behavior?
Happy No Porn November! Let's celebrate this month while supporting each other to stay away from porn and its destructive force for 30 days and feel the power of sobriety together! #NPNThis episode is sponsored by Relay, the #1 program for finding lasting freedom from addiction. With Relay, you’ll rewire your brain through daily, guided exercises and the power of a supportive community. Ready to start your journey? It’s just 1 dollar a day! Visit joinrelay.app or click the link in the show notes to get started. And don’t forget to use promo code BSB20 for 20% off your membership.
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Welcome to today’s episode of BSB, where we explore the transformative journeys of those in recovery. In this inspiring installment, we sit down with a remarkable guest who is 95 days sober—a milestone that marks a significant turning point in his life. He bravely shares his powerful story of overcoming pain, embracing rigorous honesty, and discovering the strength within himself. Our guest reveals the daily tools and activities that have become essential to his sobriety, offering practical advice for anyone on a similar path. Join us as he reflects on what it means to be nearly 100 days sober for the first time, and how this journey has reshaped his identity as a man. Get ready to be inspired by his courage and insights on the road to recovery!
This episode is sponsored by Relay, the #1 program for finding lasting freedom from addiction. With Relay, you’ll rewire your brain through daily, guided exercises and the power of a supportive community. Ready to start your journey? It’s just 1 dollar a day! Visit joinrelay.app or click the link in the show notes to get started. And don’t forget to use promo code BSB20 for 20% off your membership.
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In this emotional episode, we explore the delicate interplay between pride and confidence as individuals navigate their sobriety journeys. Join us as we discuss the importance of celebrating milestones without tipping into complacency, and how self-confidence can empower recovery while maintaining humility. Whether you're in recovery or supporting someone who is, this episode offers valuable insights and practical tips for fostering a healthy mindset on the path to lasting sobriety.
This episode is sponsored by Relay, the #1 program for finding lasting freedom from addiction. With Relay, you’ll rewire your brain through daily, guided exercises and the power of a supportive community. Ready to start your journey? It’s just 1 dollar a day! Visit joinrelay.app or click the link in the show notes to get started. And don’t forget to use promo code BSB20 for 20% off your membership.
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We’re diving into the fascinating intersection of brain evolution and neuroplasticity, particularly in the context of addiction recovery. Join us for an in depth discussion with LCSW Aaron Brakhane as we explore how our brains adapt and change over time, reshaping pathways and responses in the wake of addiction. We’ll discuss the science behind neuroplasticity, share inspiring stories of recovery, and uncover practical insights that can help guide the healing process. Whether you’re on your own recovery journey or just curious about the brain’s incredible capacity for change, there’s something here for you.
You can find Aaron and his colleagues at Compass Community Counseling at www.compasscc.org and www.betterhelp.comThis episode is sponsored by Relay, the #1 program for finding lasting freedom from addiction. With Relay, you’ll rewire your brain through daily, guided exercises and the power of a supportive community. Ready to start your journey? It’s just 1 dollar a day! Visit joinrelay.app or click the link in the show notes to get started. And don’t forget to use promo code BSB20 for 20% off your membership.
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This episode is 100% dedicated to Nathaniel and everybody sharing his strength and courage to fight porn addiction and all the pain and misery that comes with it.
In this episode, we’re joined by a courageous accountability brother on his day 1 of sobriety who shares his insights on setting boundaries. We delve into what has and hasn’t worked for the three of us and include feedback from six other accountability partners. This episode goes beyond just listing boundaries; it explores the deep commitment required to make them effective. Join us for an emotionally charged and in-depth discussion.
This episode is sponsored by Relay, the #1 program for finding lasting freedom from addiction. With Relay, you’ll rewire your brain through daily, guided exercises and the power of a supportive community. Ready to start your journey? It’s just 1 dollar a day! Visit joinrelay.app or click the link in the show notes to get started. And don’t forget to use promo code BSB20 for 20% off your membership.
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Thank you for all the positive emotions and support from our listeners. We wanted to say a quick hello and give a mid-journey introduction to our series. Looking forward to engaging with more of our listeners in our upcoming episodes.
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This episode features an in-depth conversation with a certified sex addiction therapist (CSAT). Topics covered include the impact of pornography addiction, the challenges of maintaining long-term sobriety, the effect on personal integrity, and the influence of the wounded inner child, among other related issues.
Unstructured Programs and Misunderstanding of Effort Required: Lack of a clear, organized plan and insufficient awareness of the commitment needed for lasting recovery.Incomplete or Absent Initial Steps: Failing to fully engage with the first steps of the 12-step program, including confronting the truth and avoiding superficial approaches.Isolation and Reluctance to Surrender Control: Attempting recovery alone and not fully relinquishing control or seeking support from others.
Key Barriers to Sustainable Sobriety:This episode is sponsored by Relay, the #1 program for finding lasting freedom from addiction. With Relay, you’ll rewire your brain through daily, guided exercises and the power of a supportive community. Ready to start your journey? It’s just 1 dollar a day! Visit joinrelay.app or click the link in the show notes to get started. And don’t forget to use promo code BSB20 for 20% off your membership.
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In this episode we talk with Chandler Rogers, the founder of Relay about the power of community and how Relay has been able to create that for people stuck in addiction.
- Introduction and Importance of Community
- Why Community? Why Connection? Why Relay?
- Gaining from the Community and Overcoming Struggles
- Tools and Features of Relay for Productive Community
- Conclusion and Quote: Addiction Denied is Recovery DelayedThis episode is sponsored by Relay, the #1 program for finding lasting freedom from addiction. With Relay, you’ll rewire your brain through daily, guided exercises and the power of a supportive community. Ready to start your journey? It’s just 1 dollar a day! Visit joinrelay.app or click the link in the show notes to get started. And don’t forget to use promo code BSB20 for 20% off your membership.
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In this episode we get to speak with Charlie about his journey towards recovery and how asking for help has allowed him to move towards giving back and helping others.
Introduction: The Challenge of Asking for HelpCharlie's Journey and Involvement with RelayThe Toughest Parts of the Recovery JourneyBreaking the Cycle of RelapseBuilding a Support System for Life's ChallengesUnderstanding the Basics of AddictionThe Power of Honesty and VulnerabilityThe Importance of CommunityInspiring Stories of CourageAdmitting the Problem: The First Step Towards Healing
We cover a lot in this episode! Here are a few topics we explore during our conversation with Charlie:This episode is sponsored by Relay, the #1 program for finding lasting freedom from addiction. With Relay, you’ll rewire your brain through daily, guided exercises and the power of a supportive community. Ready to start your journey? It’s just 1 dollar a day! Visit joinrelay.app or click the link in the show notes to get started. And don’t forget to use promo code BSB20 for 20% off your membership.
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Rebuilding Intimacy During the Recovery JourneyShifting the Focus from Physical IntimacyThe Importance of Trust and Open CommunicationAddressing Frustration and Rebuilding TrustClosing Thoughts and Call to VulnerabilityThis episode is sponsored by Relay, the #1 program for finding lasting freedom from addiction. With Relay, you’ll rewire your brain through daily, guided exercises and the power of a supportive community. Ready to start your journey? It’s just 1 dollar a day! Visit joinrelay.app or click the link in the show notes to get started. And don’t forget to use promo code BSB20 for 20% off your membership.
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Shame is a powerful and controlling feeling. In this episode we discuss the impact of shame on the addictive cycle and how it kept both of us in bondage for years.
The significance of shame in addictionThe role of vulnerability in overcoming shameBreaking the ice and building courageCreating space and clarity to stand up to shameMoving towards healing and reclaiming self worthThis episode is sponsored by Relay, the #1 program for finding lasting freedom from addiction. With Relay, you’ll rewire your brain through daily, guided exercises and the power of a supportive community. Ready to start your journey? It’s just 1 dollar a day! Visit joinrelay.app or click the link in the show notes to get started. And don’t forget to use promo code BSB20 for 20% off your membership.
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