Episodios
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In this episode we catch up with five new chapters of the iconic Mandalorian/reader insert fic Rough Day. In these chapters Mando hunts you for sport. And it's hot. And Mando finally explores your inner rim! And it's...fine?!?
Story link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21651097/chapters/51629176
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We return to Hogwarts for a special Christmas episode of Shiprecs. Audrey was expecting a ton of pushback for suggesting this super-dark and angsty Christmas tale, but instead she discovers that we’re all sluts for Snape and Christmas-y misery. And all Abby wants for Christmas is McGonagall fics.
Story link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12978126/chapters/29669259
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¿Faltan episodios?
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Mira’s Marvel pick is a funny and romantic Darcy Lewis/Loki fic by AnonymousMink. Notably, Darcy Lewis does it with Loki when he’s in his true (frost giant) form, and it’s actually kind of sweet. And we discover that frost giants are ribbed for her pleasure.
We recorded this episode the day before the Loki Disney + show premiered, so enjoy our clueless speculation about what may be in the Loki series.
Note: This is our second Marvel pick, but our first was lost to audio issues. So if we mention Abby's pick or Loki the "Marshmallow Boy" that's why.
Story link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18550432/chapters/43968337
Drink Pairing: Poison Apple
1/3 c. apple cider1/3 c. cranberry juice2 oz. fireball1 oz. grenadine1/4 tsp. edible gold glitterIceCombine all ingredients in cocktail shaker, then fill shaker with ice. Shake until contents are mixed and shaker is cold, about 30 seconds. Pour into glass and serve.
Up next: Little Taste of Heaven, a Zemo/Original Female Character fic by freedomatsea. https://archiveofourown.org/works/30599684/chapters/75485813
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We’re going 90s for this special halloween episode and reading a three-part Spike/Buffy story by Verity Watson. Is it acceptable for vampires to kill people? Were cargo pants ever sexy? Why is Spike/Buffy called Spuffy and not Spiffy? That last one is not a rhetorical question, I’m genuinely asking.
Story link:Part 1: Meet the Pratts: https://www.bloodshedverse.com/stories.php?go=chapters&no=7067
Part 2: Finding William Pratt: https://www.bloodshedverse.com/stories.php?go=chapters&no=7749
Part 3: Being William Pratt: https://www.bloodshedverse.com/stories.php?go=chapters&no=8396
Drink Pairing:Bloody Rum Punch from the Spruce Eats: https://www.thespruceeats.com/donq-bloody-rum-punch-760454
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In this episode we vote on the best of the eight stories we read in the Star Wars fandom. Choosing was difficult because the Star Wars fandom really knows how to get down. Audrey gets judgemental about butts. And we introduce our next fandom, Marvel! We’ll be taking a break before posting any Marvel episodes, so if you have recs for us in the Marvel fandom you can contact us as always at [email protected]. We’re looking for explicit stories over 30k words.
Best PairingMando and the Reader, Rough DayBest Sex SceneObi Wan and the Reader, The Locked DoorBest Wing Entity (ex: wingman, wingwoman, wingdroid)The Armorer, Separate WaysBest Use of the ForceObi Wan (he knows what he did) from The Locked DoorBest CocktailBee’s Knees, My BountyBest use of LubeMagical Self-Lubricating Condoms from My Bounty -
The ladies love this sweet, slow-burn romance between Mando and Luke Skywalker. Author PepperPrints takes extreme liberties with Star Wars sequel cannon, the future of the Jedi order and the Mandalorians, and we eat it uuuuuup! And Audrey does some bitching about the sequel trilogy in this one so for the record: Reylo for life!!!
Drink Pairing: Yerba Mate Whiskey Toddy
Song Pairing: Into You by TC Superstar
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In this Obi-Wan Kenobi/reader insert fic, the Force finally reaches its full sexual potential. Also, Obi-Wan gives the hottest goddamn apology ever. We were straight-up discombobulated by the sex in this story and had to edit about 45 minutes of girlish tittering out of this episode.
GuardianAngelCas, if you ever need an organ or something, hit us up. Can’t vouch for the livers but I’m sure some of us at least have some decent kidneys.
Story Link:https://archiveofourown.org/works/23492674/chapters/57265633#workskin
Drink Pairing:Jedi Temple (aka Shirley Temple)
Ingredients
1/2 ounce grenadine1/4 ounce lime juice, freshly squeezed5 ounces ginger ale or Lemon lime soda or Ginger Syrup and soda waterOptional
Garnish: 2 Good cocktail cherries (Luxardo or Fabbri)1.5 oz of Gin, Vodka or light rumCombine the grenadine and lime juice to a Collins glass with cubed ice. Top with your soda of choice and gently stir to combine. Garnish with two skewered cocktail cherries.
Song Pairing:Don’t Stand So Close To Me by The Police
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Kylie’s second pick pairs Boba Fett with an original male character, Ado Janic. Can Boba have a functional romantic relationship? Does anyone actually have sex with the sex robot? How many ways can we pronounce “Ado”? Tune in to find out!
Story Link:https://archiveofourown.org/works/9416222/chapters/21315410
Drink Pairing:Bees Knees
Ingredients
2 ounces Gin3/4 ounce Fresh Lemon Juice (There are variations that are just made with Lemon Juice)2/4 ounce Fresh Orange Juice⅓ ounce Honey Syrup*To make the honey syrup: In a container, combine equal parts honey and hot water and stir until completely mixed. Use immediately or store and refrigerate for up to 5 days.
Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker. Add ice and shake until a frost forms on the shaker. Strain into a coup glass
Song Pairing:The Hunter Gets Captured by the Game
Although the version we really want is not on Spotify, it is the Massive Attack version (i.e. the one from the Batman Forever soundtrack dear god I’m old)
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We have a ton of fun with this crack-ish Reylo fic, in which Kylo Ren moonlights as a romance author and Rey can't get enough of his books. Emo author Kylo Ren doodling "Rey" and hearts into his glittery notebook during First Order meetings is an image that will stick with us unto the grave.
Story link:https://archiveofourown.org/works/19181209/chapters/45594586
Drink Pairing:Blue Hawaiian
Ingredients
1 1/2 ounces light rum3/4 ounce blue curaçao2 ounces pineapple juice3/4 ounce cream of coconut1/2 ounce lemon juice, freshly squeezedOptional
Garnish: pineapple wedgeGarnish: cherryGarnish: cocktail umbrellaCombine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker. Add ice and shake until a frost forms on the shaker. Strain into a hurricane glass. Garnish as you will.
Song Pairing:My Only Friend by Phantogram
Up next:My Bounty by typoking1107 https://archiveofourown.org/works/9416222/chapters/21315410
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Mira’s latest pick is a Mando/reader insert. It also happens to have the most serious subject matter we’ve ever tackled on the show, as the reader character is deeply traumatized. We are varying degrees of not ready for that. And one of us is apparently a sociopath. Guess which one!
Story link:https://archiveofourown.org/works/21889465/chapters/52246873
Drink Pairing:White Russian
Ingredients
2 ounces vodka1 ounce Kahlúa1 splash heavy creamAdd the vodka and Kahlúa to a rocks glass filled with ice.
Song Pairing:How to Disappear Completely by Radiohead
Up next:"The Rebel’s Secret Passion" by B.S. Kysses, a Reylo crackfic by andabatae
https://archiveofourown.org/works/19181209/chapters/45594586
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Abby's first Star Wars pick is the freaky Reylo force shit we’ve been waiting for. Audrey is torn between love for Reylo and hatred for the sequel trilogy; we are delighted that this story is chock-full of badass women on both the Resistance and First Order sides; and we all marvel at Adam Driver’s glorious hair.
Story link:https://archiveofourown.org/works/5454443/chapters/12608978
Drink Pairing:Pink Squirrel
Ingredients
1 oz crème de noyaux1 oz white crème de cacao2 oz cream3 Good cocktail cherries (Luxardo or Fabbri)1/4 tsp of fernetCombine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker. Add ice and shake until a frost forms on the shaker. Strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with a cocktail cherry.
Up next:Working Girl, a Mandolorian/the Reader fic by FistfulofDollars
https://archiveofourown.org/works/21889465/chapters/52246873
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Kylie’s first pick is fluffy, fun Finn/Poe slash. The ladies are a bit salty because the tags promised a Rey/Finn/Poe threesome that never panned out. On the other hand, this story has a ton of hot slash and gives us the deets on birth control and lube in the First Order. On the other other hand, sadly this story suggests that Poe doesn’t stop talking like a t-ball coach, even when you’re going at it.
Story link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6421978/chapters/14701099
Drink Pairing:Polyamrous Punch (aka Rum Punch)
This is a drink meant for a group ;)
Ingredients
1 cup of orange juice1 cup of pineapple juice1/4 cup lime juice1/4 cup rum1/4 cup dark rum1/2 cup of grenadineCombine all ingredients in a punch bowl or drink dispenser. Add ice and stir to combine. Garnish with cocktail umbrellas and pineapple wedges.
Song Pairing:Girls and Boys by Blur
Up next:Forms, a Reylo fic by Trebia
https://archiveofourown.org/works/5454443/chapters/12608978
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Last time, Audrey invited Abby and Mira to slap her if they didn’t like Rough Day. Well NO SLAPS WERE DELIVERED because the ladies unanimously love this story’s take on Mando. We suggest the author changes her tag in AO3 from “Favreau forgive me” to “Favreau you’re welcome.” And we introduce a new friend to the group, Kylie! We might finally get some good slash up in here.
Note: Just to explain references to it being 2020 or us having no idea what happens at the end of The Mandalorian Season 2—we recorded this episode in December 2020, trying to get ahead of Mira’s baby. We were unsuccessful.
Story link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21651097/chapters/51629176
Drink Pairing:Aviation (aka Shiny Murder Daddy)
Ingredients
2 ounces gin3/4 ounce fresh lemon juice1/2 ounce maraschino liqueur1/4 ounce crème de violette1 Good cocktail cherries (Luxardo or Fabbri)IceCombine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker. Add ice and shake until a frost forms on the shaker. Strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with a cocktail cherry.
Song Pairing:Passenger by Deftones feat. Maynard James Keenan
Up next:'Till There Was You. (And You), a Rey/Finn/Poe fic by Fightyourdragon
https://archiveofourown.org/works/6421978/chapters/14701099
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Whelp, our “Harry Potter Series” ended up being the “Hermione gets railed” series. And just like Old Testament God, who sent a rainbow to humankind as his promise to never flood the earth again, we give you this rainbow promise to not let the next series become such a total gang-bang. 🌈 Audrey introduces her first Star Wars pick and invites Abby and Mira to slap her in the face if they don’t like it. So stay tuned for The Slappening???
Best Pairing of the Harry Potter series:Hermione and Snape, Unforced Error
Best Sex Scene of the Harry Potter series:Hermione and Lucius Malfoy museum finger-bang, Epistolary Charms
Best Cocktail of the Harry Potter Series:White Chocolate & Star Anise Martini, Crazy Little Things
Up Next:Rough Day, a Mandolorian/Reader fic by guardianangelcas!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/21651097/chapters/51629176
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In Abby’s latest pick, Draco is a magical creature who sprouts feathers when angry. Is "Big Bird Rage Mode" sexy? And is there any way we can evolve this into a threesome with Daddy Malfoy?
Story link:https://archiveofourown.org/works/14380728/chapters/33204618
Drink Pairing:Rose Water Gimlet:
1/2 oz Rose water1/4 oz Fresh Lemon Juice1/4 oz Simple Syrup1 1/2 oz GinClub SodaMix all ingredients except club soda with together with iceStrain into a champagne fluteTop with Club SodaGarnish with a Lemon twistSong Pairing:Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks
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Audrey’s latest Snape/Hermione pick is by far the filthiest thing we have read for the show, and it is glorious. We drink viscous drinks and are reminded that Abby hates balls. And although this is a Snape fic, Lucius Malfoy comes across pretty well in this story all things considered. Is Desert_Sea the ‘chosen one’ who will write the Snape/Malfoy slashfic that will please both Mira and Audrey?
Story link:https://archiveofourown.org/works/9584387/chapters/21667973
Drink Pairing:Gin Fizz:
2 ounces gin1/2 ounce freshly squeezed lemon juice1/2 ounce freshly squeezed lime juice1 egg white1 ounce heavy cream2 teaspoons superfine sugar1/2 teaspoon orange flower waterIceClub soda, chilledAdd the gin, lemon juice, lime juice, egg white, cream, sugar, and orange flower water to a cocktail shaker. Shake vigorously, about 15 seconds.Add a handful of ice to the cocktail shaker and shake again until the outside of the canister looks frosty, about 15 seconds. Strain into a chilled 10-ounce highball or collins glass without ice. Top off with club soda.Song Pairing:Sexual Healing by Marvin Gaye
Up next:Love and Other Misfortunes, a Draco/Hermione fic by senlinyu
https://archiveofourown.org/works/14380728/chapters/33204618
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This week, Mira takes another (successful!) crack at selling us on a relationship between Hermione Granger and Lucius Malfoy. This week’s story also has the distinction of having the longest and most thorough Ron-bashing we’ve ever encountered. Let the hate flow through you!
Story link:https://archiveofourown.org/works/14742692/chapters/34083581
Drink Pairing:Huber’s Spanish Coffee:¾ oz. 151-Proof rum¼ oz. Triple Sec1½ oz. Coffee Liquor (HUBER’S USES KAHLÚA)3 oz. Fresh-Brewed Coffee1 Lemon WedgeSuper-Fine SugarRun the cut edge of the lemon wedge around the rim of the glass and press the rim into superfine sugar, shaking off the excess Add the rum and triple sec to the sugar-rimmed glass and carefully ignite, slowly turning until the glass has warmed and the sugar has begun to caramelize. Add the coffee liqueur (the flame should go out at this point) and top with hot coffee. Garnish by gently floating the whipped cream on top using the back of a spoon, then adding grated nutmeg.Song Pairing:Letter to Hermione by David Bowie
Up next:Sense and Insensibility, A Snape/Hermione fic by Desert_Sea
https://archiveofourown.org/works/9584387/chapters/21667973
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Hermione and Luna go to wizard college in Abby’s first pick! This story presents an appealing fantasy of an inclusive wizarding world where Luna and Hermione become globe-trotting partners in work and love, and you can get takeout from literally anywhere in the world on demand. But all three of us are frustrated by the overall lack of smut. We filtered by explicit, dammit. Audrey is distracted by how fricking good the cocktail is this week, and explains to the expecting Mira the magic of “pump n dump.”
Story Link:https://archiveofourown.org/works/2573990/chapters/5726924
Drink Pairing:White Chocolate & Star Anise Martini
1 oz Heavy Cream1 oz White Chocolate Liquor (we used & recommend Borgata White Chocolate Specialty)1 oz Vodka1/4 tsp Star Anise bittersAdd ingredients together in a cocktail shaker. Shake vigorously, about 15 secondsAdd a handful of ice to the cocktail shaker and shake again until the outside of the canister looks frosty, about 15 seconds. Strain into a chilled martini glassOptional: Garnish with star anise pod and a skewer of raspberriesSong PairingThe author provided their own! Fly Me Away by Goldfrapp
Up NextEpistolary Charms, a Lucius Malfoy/Hermione fic by bea_meupscotty
https://archiveofourown.org/works/14742692/chapters/34083581
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Audrey’s first pick is an action-packed Snape and Hermione fic with magic, torture, cunning, true love, and a “sex barometer”. We talk about mind-Snapes: do you imagine a younger, scragglier book-like Snape when reading, or is the pull of Alan Rickman too strong? Abby goes “full Adam Driver” for her Snape but Mira sticks with Alan.
Story link:https://archiveofourown.org/works/7392916/chapters/16792324
Drink Pairing:A Thyme to Die... By Fiendfyre (aka Raspberry Daiquiri):
2 fl oz Golden rum1.5 fl oz Thyme and Raspberry syrup¾ fl oz Freshly squeezed lemon juiceAdd ingredients together in a cocktail shaker. Shake vigorously, about 15 secondsAdd a handful of ice to the cocktail shaker and shake again until the outside of the canister looks frosty, about 15 seconds. Strain into a chilled glassOptional: Gently pour 2 tsp Bacardi rum 151 off the back of a spoon onto the top of your cocktail then light it with a matchFor the Syrup:
12 oz Fresh or Frozen raspberries6 sprigs of thyme½ cup of white sugar½ cup of waterAdd the above to a saucepan and cook over medium heatStir until the sugar has dissolved and bring the mix to a boil, stirring frequently until the berries have softened. Remove the syrup from the heat and let it cool down completely giving the raspberries and thyme a chance to get to know each otherStrain the mix through a strainer to remove pulp and seedsStore in the fridgeSong Pairing:Danger! High Voltage by The Electric Six
Up next:Crazy Little Things, a Luna/Hermione fic by dreiser
https://archiveofourown.org/works/2573990/chapters/5726924
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Polyjuice potion, chocolate, and puns are eagerly abused in Mira’s especially-smutty first pick: a Lucius Malfoy/Hermione fic by the Artful Scribbler. Mira struggles to communicate with Audrey and Abby who are philistines and cannot appreciate her references to Much Ado About Nothing or You've Got Mail.
Story link:https://archiveofourown.org/works/2455553/chapters/5442782
Drink Pairing:Grasshopper:
1 oz Green crème de menthe1 oz White crème de cacao1 oz of half-and-halfA pinch of sea salt1 teaspoon of Fernet BrancaInstructions:
Add ingredients together in a cocktail shaker. Shake vigorously, about 15 secondsAdd a handful of ice to the cocktail shaker and shake again until the outside of the canister looks frosty, about 15 seconds. Strain into a chilled martini glassOptional: Garnish with pinch of cocoa powderSong Pairing:This Mess We’re In by P.J. Harvey feat. Thom Yorke
Up next:Unforced Error, a Snape/Hermione fic by mswhich. https://archiveofourown.org/works/7392916/chapters/16792324
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