Episodios
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You're going to adore these two delightful founders of a very cool startup that features delectable world cuisine, social inclusion, and age and cultural diversity.
Yuru Guo and Frankie Docker were Durham University students when they launched Hey! Food is Ready two years ago.
They batted back ageist remarks about their ambitious plans - Yuru was 23, Frankie 19 - and got busy building an online platform that's thriving in the hyper-competitive world of corporate events catering.
Their USP? Home cooks from across the world - immigrants, refugees, retirees and carers among them - making food magic to liven up lunch tables and party trays usually laden with soggy sausage rolls and beige sandwiches.
What's more, their startup is a social enterprise. The platform opens the door to carefully vetted, certified home cooks to make some good money from their skills.
And event participants often get to meet the cooks as they savour their creations.
They've got more than 60 cooks on their books now from 40 countries, including Iraq, Egypt, Ukraine, Lebanon, Thailand, Greece, Portugal and South Korea.
Yuru and Frankie won grants from Durham University and the Inclusive Innovation Award from the government's innovation arm Innovate UK. That distinction includes a ÂŁ50,000 grant to develop inclusive innovations within their business.
They'll be looking for investment soon in keeping with the maxim Yuru learned from her father: "Always dream big and make it happen".
Links
Hey! Food is ReadyRecent writeup in Portfolio NorthYuru on LinkedinFrankie on LinkedinFollow The Big Middle
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Can you harm yourself by eating too much spinach? Should those baby leaves we know and love as a "superfood" come with a health warning? And what about almonds? Both are super-high in oxalates.
If youâre not already rolling your eyes and saying Nooooo Susan, Iâve maxed out on worrying about what to eat when, this fascinating conversation will make you think again.
Sally Norton is a nutritionist and public health leader from Richmond, Virginia raising awareness about oxalates,chemical toxins found in many plants. She suffered decades of ill health before discovering they were the cause of her misery.
Why focus on oxalates when all plant toxins - lectins, phytates, tannins, glycosylates and goitrogens - can damage our gut and immune system?
"What makes oxalates special is they're nearly impossible to remove from foods. They accumulate in the body and create long-term damage. They're tiny and get everywhere, messing up cells by stealing essential minerals and electrolytes and causing both physical damage and oxidative stress in cells and their mitochondria. The preparation methods used to disarm many of those other compounds, such as fermentation and high-heat cooking, don't adequately lower the toxic actions of oxalates. "
"Remember too that the affected cells include our immune system, nerves and brain, glands and critical organs. By the time we reach 40, we all have some degree of a toxic load of oxalate compromising our glands, bones, brain, etcetera. They cause us to miss out on our potential for enjoying our lives, beyond our youth."
Toxic Superfoods, Sally's new book on oxalates, is out this month.
Enjoy learning all about oxalates. No more heaving plates of spinach for me - just a handful or two!
Links
Sally's websiteSally's book Toxic SuperfoodsSally on Twitter and on InstagramFollow The Big Middle
Website I Twitter I Instagram I YouTubeHosted + produced by Susan FloryMusic: âBeautiful Dayâ by Sahin KocSupport The Big Middle
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NEW EPI of The Big Middle drops tomorrow
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How to keep your skin at its healthy best on this episode of The Big Middle, the podcast exploring longer, healthy midlife by design, learning from the sharpest thinkers around.
Regulars will know and adore the sharp thinker Iâve invited back on the show. Itâs Dr Fayne Frey, crusading age-positive dermatologist and skin cancer specialist - my guiding light as you may have heard last week through my encounter with a malignant melanoma. Episode 49 is when you'll hear her style herself as "the ultimate wrinkle defender".
Dr Frey's book The Skincare Hoax rocketed to the top of various Amazon sales charts even before it was out. In it she lays out how our sexist, ageist and lookist culture fabricates insecurities the skincare industry exploits.
âKindness matters. Health matters. Accomplishments matter. None of those things come in a tube or bottle.â
And remember, she says, your top layer of skin is 20 layers of dead cells. No lotion or potion with a dollop of this vitamin or that mineral can penetrate it to do anything more than moisturise it and plump it up, temporarily.
Tune in to hear her shoot down the cultural norms, marketing buzzwords and predatory industry practises that abound in the glossies and on social media.
And if you're addicted to an intricate skincare routine of 10 steps and as many expensive products, you'll be fascinated by Fayne's pared down route to her healthy, glowing skin.
Enjoy!
Links
Buy The Skincare HoaxDiscover Dr Frey's product selector tool on her website FryFace.comRead her blog here Fayne on TwitterFollow The Big Middle
Website I Twitter I Instagram I YouTubeHosted + produced by Susan FloryMusic: âBeautiful Dayâ by Sahin KocSupport The Big Middle
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A skin cancer update for you now if youâre a regular listener or viewer of The Big Middle - a mix of the personal and the general.
Eighteen months after the first of two operations to cut out a malignant melanoma, Iâm happy to report the scar on my outer calf has smoothed out impressively; itâs kinda bumpy-wavy now, nicely faded.
I thought it would never settle down. It resembled a shark bite for the first six months after the surgeries. I still canât quite believe the dark brown splotch that suddenly appeared turned out to be malignant.
I canât rave enough about the first-class treatment I got from the UKâs National Health Service, the NHS.
Iâve edited together the two skin cancer podcasts I put out last April - in the thick of the pandemic when I wasnât sure what that thing was on my leg.
And a couple of weeks ago I had a new patch of strange checked by a lovely skin cancer nurse. Not to worry, she said, but good Iâve seen it.
Whew.
So please heed the advice you'll hear in this podcast, even if you havenât been baking on beaches and been that bit careless about sunscreen.
Links
How do I know if I have skin cancer? â Dr Frey writing for thedoctorweighsin.comMelanoma: What you need to know about diagnosis and treatment â Dr Freyâs article on thedoctorweighsin.comDr Freyâs skincare education website FryFace.com â check out the Product Selector toolFayne on TwitterFollow The Big Middle
Website I Twitter I Instagram I YouTubeHosted + produced by Susan FloryMusic: âBeautiful Dayâ by Sahin KocSupport The Big Middle
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Itâs playtime on The Big Middle. I'm celebrating the oft-forgotten fun side of living as older by staying switched-on and active. This is a very particular celebration; weâre meeting five of the 26 winners of a big-money design competition here in the UK. Fun factors into all their design projects.The competition winners are sharing a ÂŁ20 million pot of government money for design innovations to help us all as we age. All projects are either on the market or close to it and all have potential to scale. Competition leader Julia Glenn of Innovate UK, an arm of UK Research and Innovation, is along to tell us more about how the winners were chosen and what's next for them.
Who won for what:
Lily Chow - Holly Health is partnering with charity Age UK's branches in the London boroughs of Lewisham and Southwark to develop a digital coaching service. It will improve the physical and mental health of older adults to slow the onset of chronic conditions.
Clara Sbraccia - KYMIRA through MISFIT is making a new smart garment bio-monitoring service to help Ida Sports create appropriate sports footwear to help women of all ages, and specifically older women, participate safely and more confidently in sports.
Afroditi Konidari - Tendertecâs FitBees, a service led by women, is integrating home sensors with smart garments to monitor people's activity. This is linked to a programme of community fitness for older adults, including those living with carers.
Howard Blackburn - Yorkshire company Innerva is making power-assisted exercise machines more user-friendly for older people and the machines more readily available throughout the community.
Ben Wilkins - Good Boost Wellbeing is transforming leisure centres into community musculoskeletal treatment hubs with artificial intelligence (AI) and gamified exercise monitoring in gyms and pools. Using gamification extends the service to more people by including those who are less mobile.
Full scroll of winners here.
Enjoy!
Links
UK Research and Innovation (UKRI)Holly HealthKymiraTendertec's FitbeesGood Boost WellbeingUKRI on TwitterHolly Health on TwitterKymira on Twitter Innerva on TwitterGood Boost Wellbeing on TwitterFollow The Big Middle
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I'm back with another fascinating guest in my ongoing quest to better understand how our food system became so badly broken and our nutrition beliefs so skewed.
Animal foods are demonised. Biologically-dead, factory-made fare thatâs poisoning our bodies - and draining health care budgets - is being promoted in the guise of planetary preservation.
Whereâs the truth? How do we get to solutions? How do we make the right healthy and ethical choices?
My guest is long-time vegetarian Nicolette Hahn Niman, an environmental activist lawyer-turned-beef farmer whoâs been touring her latest book, the second edition of Defending Beef, across the UK from her ranch north of San Francisco.
We get into everything about the practise of regenerative farming, the environmental and health benefits of raising and eating grass-fed beef, and, in an interview first for Nicolette, discuss menopause and the challenges it brings to staying healthy and strong. Most of us need to take stock of our food choices and lifestyles at midlife, especially now that we're ageing differently.
I know you'll find this as fascinating as I did. I reverted to being an omnivore after years of vegetarianism so we talk plenty about what needs to change to make the lives of animals raised for food a whole lot less miserable. Nicolette joins other #RealFood advocates in saying "It's not the cow, it's the how."
Links
Buy Nicolette's book Defending Beef Find her on Facebook And on TwitterFollow The Big Middle
Website I Twitter I Instagram I YouTubeHosted + produced by Susan FloryMusic: âBeautiful Dayâ by Sahin KocSupport The Big Middle
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...on moves to treat animals raised for food more humanely. First, sugared insects:
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Much of the world - rich north and poor south - is drowning in an ocean of hyperpalatable, addictive fakery masquerading as food.
Much of that fakery has fed our disconnect with natural food production cycles and practices.
And itâs left most of us in a food muddle - moral, environmental, nutritional.
We latch on to our dietary tribe with conviction but what if our beliefs are based on a limited understanding of the evolution of global food production? And no understanding of how powerful multinationals control every aspect of it.
James Connolly is our guide to how we became the unwitting victims of a food system captured by big corporations driven by profit, not public health.
"Youâre taken out of the equation. The consumer has no real choices. They walk through the supermarket and think theyâre getting a variety of products but really itâs wholly owned by about 13 multinational corporations that control about 90% of our system."
He views the American capitalist system as âsocialism for the richâ and farmers as âmodern-day heroes in a feudal state, they have no control over their land, itâs owned by the bankâ.
James questions how it has come to be that all so-called solutions to global warming take industrial capitalism as a given and nature must conform to it.
"Monoculture seems to be the biggest problem we have whether it's chickens, almonds or avocado farms... When you build a system based on that, you in essence have to destroy everything in that environment to grow the food. You have to bring in enormous amounts of resources, water...You build a system that has no resiliency other than excising this stuff from all different parts of the planet.."
James is a chef and Real Food advocate who transformed the food systems of inner-city schools in New York with his non-profit The Bubble Foundation. At no extra cost to the city's food budget, kids sat at round dining tables and helped themselves to nutrient-rich dishes cooked on site.
He co-produced the documentary Sacred Cow, directed by Diana Rodgers, financed the marketing of Michael Moore's provocative Where to Invade Next (a must watch), and is producing Death in the Garden, a documentary promising a sober look at industrial civilisation, our "misguided attempts to resolve climate change", and how life always involves death.
James is a voracious reader with an historian's head for facts and stories. You'll love this episode and want to read every one of his desert island book picks. It was tough, but he managed to confine himself to just the five I asked for.
Links
Sacred Cow Death in the GardenThat Climate One podcast on Cowspiracy featuring Nicolette Hahn Niman, vegetarian cattle rancher, author of Defending Beef -Video highlights of Climate One debate about Cowspiracy docJamesâ Top 5 reads:Ishmael by Danial QuinnIf They Give You Lined Paper, Write Sideways by Daniel QuinnThe Wizard and the Prophet by Charles MannShibumi by TrevanianThe Tragedy of American Science by Clifford D ConnorJames is also an artist! Discover his work hereJames on Twitter James on InstagramFollow The Big Middle
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COMING UP: The producer of the documentaries Sacred Cow and Death in the Garden (in production) on how our current food fights pull focus away from what's really wrecking our planet.
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Donât Shoot the Messenger - an admonition Iâm invoking right off the top of this episode of The Big Middle.
The messenger is my guest Jayne Buxton - journalist-author of The Great Plant-Based Con: Why Eating a Plants-Only Diet Wonât Improve Your Health or Save the Planet.
As you might guess, Jayne's been shot and trolled multiple times on the socials since her book launched three months ago (June 2022). But she's also been praised for her courage in stomping on the equivalent of the third rail of the nutrition wars between those who eat meat along with their plants and those who don't.
"Somebody on Twitter likened the treatment of me to the stoning of a heretic. So that was interesting. But I have to say that hasn't been the entirety of the experience. There's been a lot of positive response to the book as well. A lot of people seem to have been waiting for somebody to open up this discussion and to bring a new narrative to the table because it's been far too one-sided for far too long."
We're bombarded with the seemingly incontrovertible message to reduce or quit consuming meat or dairy to stand a chance of saving our melting planet from imminent collapse. But that prevailing dogma is at odds with the facts Jayne found in her forensic search for the truth about the environmental and health impacts of food.
Jayne stresses that she's not anti-plants or anti-vegan. She's an advocate of ethical, regenerative farming and real food to benefit human, animal and planetary health. Her sole - and fully-independent - motivation is to reveal facts and evidence to counter nutrition propaganda, sloppy journalism and the hidden agendas of powerful stakeholders.
I've learned so much from this conversation and guarantee you will too. More learning to be had in the many links below. Enjoy!
Links
Jayne's bioBuy Jayne's book Geosystem Science Prof âMyles Allenâ of Oxford University on how current metrics exaggerate the warming impact of biogenic methaneâand writing in Nature on sameSoil ecologist Dr âChristine Jones on soil biology and the role of ruminantsâReal Food advocate âBelinda Fettke on the influence of the Seventh Day Adventist ChurchâSeventh Day Adventist Church âleaders writing about church influence âon âdietary policyCult American livestock farmer Joel Salatin Ted talks Cows, Carbon and Climate"The chickens have a whole new salad bar" in 30 seconds - Joel interviewed about his mobile chicken structures Jayne on TwitterFollow The Big Middle
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Health is wealth and expect the unexpected - surely the two most apt truisms of these crazy days on so many fronts.
Both ring truer than usual for guest Catherine Foot.
Sheâs been a year in her post as head of Phoenix Insights, a new UK think tank set up to transform the way society responds to the possibilities of longer lives.
Itâs a workplace milestone fate served up with the kind of surprise we can all do without - a long recovery ahead after a freaky accidental stumble that has her calling herself "a bionic woman...with Frankenstein scars".
You'll hear the full rundown of her ambitious plans for maximising social and policy impact in her new role, "my dream job".
"Funding is critical but my experience of working in the think tank sector is that everybody needs to try these things for themselves and own the solution. You can't go around selling even the solution that works 30 miles down the road and expect them to doff their cap and say good then we'll copy that."
Central to her team's mission is finding ways to engage the public to open closed mindsets and influence behaviour: "Thinking about where people are and how to reach them is the perennial problem of social policy when trying to do something with working age adults".
The hope is to spark many more living room conversations about longer lives. She aims to "break out of the delightful but cosy longevity bubble and begin to stretch our fingers of influence into the decisionmakers and policymakers who have yet to see ageing and longevity as their business.
Links
Phoenix InsightsCatherine's moving Linkedin post about her accident Her Linkedin post about the first year of Phoenix Insights (The Big Middle gets a lovely mention)Catherine on TwitterFollow The Big Middle
Website I Twitter I Instagram I YouTubeHosted + produced by Susan FloryMusic: âBeautiful Dayâ by Sahin KocSupport The Big Middle
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NEXT EPI drops tomorrow, Thursday:
The brilliant Catherine Foot on breaking out of the "cosy longevity bubble" - "We need to meet people where they are."
In this taster, why Greater Manchester is a stellar example of integration of public services to deliver the social support longer lives demand.
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Oh our frazzled brains. Help clearing that fog, curbing that anxiety, finding your focus - and that elusive word - in this fascinating episode with neuroscientist Dr Andrew Hill.
He's one of the worldâs leading practitioners of neurofeedback.
Dr Hill age-stages his best bio-hacks to nourish and rewire our brains for peak performance. Meal-timing is critical, he says. As is getting enough deep sleep. And he tells us intermittent fasters we'd be better off shifting our eating windows to earlier in the day.
He explains why kids shouldn't be allowed to play contact sports until their brains are finished developing: "Half of all brain injuries are silent and have no symptoms. They show up years later as slowed processing, degraded quality of sleep and word-finding."
He also tells us why loves the meditative power of Ashtanga yoga and performing West African drumming in crowds on mountaintops.
Dr Hill is the founder of Peak Brain Institute, a global chain of "brain gyms" headquartered in Los Angeles. He holds a PhD in Cognitive Neuroscience from UCLAâs Department of Psychology, where he lectures in psychology, neuroscience and gerontology and researches attention and cognition. He's been practising neurofeedback since 2003.
Notes
How neurofeedback works to tune the brain to reduce stress, improve sleep and attentionTypes of brainwaves: âDelta is the heartbeat of the brainâ âAlpha waves are the idle speedâ Age-matched data sets are used to interpret brain mapsHow our brains change over the decades; consequences of the shifts that happen - attention, focus, speed of processingâYou donât want to diagnose off of this stuff, you want to come up with ideas and if they ring true, then youâre on to somethingâ âIf you find things that are real, you can change them almost always. Understanding brains is hard but changing brains is not that hardâHis academic and professional background in mental health that led to him setting up the Peak Brain InstituteâWe spent a year teaching someone to use a forkâHow own struggle with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder): âI was moving 9,000 times faster than everyone around me, chewing through books..I dug into everythingâWas astonished by positive outcomes when he started working at a centre using neurofeedbackWhatâs happening to the brain when sex hormones decline at perimenopause and menopauseThe reason youâre having brain fog and word-finding issuesHis take on the significance of estrogen decline, referencing the work of Dr Lisa MosconiâWomen have autoimmune stuff and most forms of classic dementia are not infectious diseases but metabolic diseasesâThe importance of deep sleep to banish brain fog and optimise brain healthWhy he says weâre doing Intermittent Fasting or Time-Restricted Eating wrong
âThe strongest cue for circadian rhythm is not light, itâs not when you sleep, itâs when you eatââIf you go to bed with any insulin thatâs high, any blood sugar thatâs high at all, you suppress growth hormone completelyâHow to properly measure ketonesThe benefit of movement before food every morning to burn off the cortisol - âit squeezes your liver and feeds you breakfastâ - and glycogen that woke you up not call for more (by eating and flooding your system with sugar)Do low-key workouts in the morning and high-energy exercise in the afternoon when your cardiac output is best and your cortisol is lowestImpact of social media on brain health, especially for children"There's definitely an epidemic of childhood anxiety and sleep issues but there's no more ADHD than there was 50 years ago"Advice to parents of athletic kids who want to play rugby or football? "You shouldn't let your kids play contact sports.. non-contact is ideal until your brain finishes developing"The ecstasy of West African drumming on mountaintops and the meditative value of Ashtanga yogaLinks
Dr Hill's Peak Brain InstituteFrom Andrew's blog: How to prioritise sleep for peak brain performance Andrew on Twitter
Website I Twitter I Instagram I YouTubeHosted + produced by Susan FloryMusic: âBeautiful Dayâ by Sahin Koc
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Itâs as if sheâs got a hotline to your head. She gets inside your mind, rummages round all those piles of messy-feely thoughts, even the ones in the darkest corners, then heads for your heart.
Scottish writer Donna Ashworth translates our thoughts and feelings about life, love and loss into poetry that stuns in its simple complexity.
Her beautiful words proved a salve for our battered souls and minds at the height of the pandemic. It was then that her precious poems went viral online. Her heartfelt musings were picked up by organisations as diverse as the UK's National Health Service, Amnesty International and Doctors of America. Celebrated actors recited her work, including Michael Sheen, Griff Rhys Jones and Vicky McClure. Her empathy, compassion and reassurance served as a beacon and blanket of comfort as we struggled under the weight of uncertainty and grief.
This episode was a joy to make. Donna reads six of her poems for us, tugging at our heart strings as we go. She shares the astonishing fact that her artistry is not the product of endless tweaks and revisions. Her poems arrive overnight, fully-formed for delivery in the morning, her first drafts her final drafts.
The six poems are copied below. Not a chance you won't enjoy this one! Please share your thoughts on my website and subscribe to my baby YouTube channel (links below). I'll get the video up in the coming days.
Poems
So Old
Youâre so old
they say
and I laugh
with a deep roar
rising up from my very soul
because how could that phrase
ever be anything
but magnificent?She let herself go
they cry
and I smile
with every tooth in my head
because Mother Nature and I know
what a miraculous act
letting go
truly is.Youâve changed
they say
and I am at once
completely fulfilled
and at peace
with my lifeâs purpose
because if I did not come here
to grow
then what was it all for?Don't Prioritise Your Looks
Donât prioritise your looks my friend,
they wonât last the journey.
Your sense of humour though, will only get better.
Your intuition will grow and expand like a majestic cloak of wisdom.
Your ability to choose your battles, will be fine-tuned to perfection.
Your capacity for stillness, for living in the moment, will blossom.
And your desire to live each and every moment will transcend all other wants.
Your instinct for knowing what (and who) is worth your time, will grow and flourish like ivy on a castle wall.
Donât prioritise your looks my friend,
they will change forevermore,
that pursuit is one of much sadness and disappointment.
Prioritise the uniqueness that makes you you,and the invisible magnet that draws in other like-minded souls to dance in your orbit.
These are the things which will only get better.History Will Remember When the World Stopped
History will remember when the world stopped
And the flights stayed on the ground.
And the cars parked in the street.
And the trains didnât run.History will remember when the schools closed
And the children stayed indoors
And the medical staff walked towards the fire
And they didnât run.History will remember when the people sang
On their balconies, in isolation
But so very much together
In courage and song.History will remember when the people fought
For their old and their weak
Protected the vulnerable
By doing nothing at all.History will remember when the virus left
And the houses opened
And the people came out
And hugged and kissed
And started againKinder than before.
You're Not Imagining It...
Youâre not imagining it, nobody seems to want to talk right now.
Messages are brief and replies late.
Talk of catch ups on zoom are perpetually put on hold.
Group chats are no longer pinging all night long.Itâs not you.
Itâs everyone.
We are spent.
We have nothing left to say.
We are tired of saying âI miss youâ and âI cant wait for this to endâ.
So we mostly say nothing, put our heads down and get through each day.Youâre not imagining it.
This is a state of being like no other we have ever known because we are all going through it together but so very far apart.Hang in there my friend.
When the mood strikes, send out all those messages and donât feel you have to apologise for being quiet.This is hard.
No one is judging.
I Walked
I walked with you today, I took the longer way.
I made some time to tell you all the things I didnât say.
I spoke to you so softly and so often tears just flowed.
I let you know my secrets, the stories you were owed.I gave you all my heart, as we walked the pretty way.
I cared not for my timings or the schedule of my day.
Instead I lingered back, picking flowers for my hair.
I showed you our old tree but this time I stopped and stared.I walked with you today, I took the wilder path.
I reminded you of all the times your antics made me laugh.
I stopped to smell the roses, as I should have done before.
I seized that special moment and I wished and wished for more.I walked with you today love and with all my aching heart.
I wish that I had not left it too late in life to startâŠ
To start taking the long route, saying things I never say.
Iâm sorry that it took me far too long to walk this way.Remember Her?
Somewhere inside of you, thereâs a little firecracker with her arms folded and a frown on her face.
She isnât happy about all the times you said no when you wanted to say yes.
All the times you said yes when you wanted to say no.She wanted you to buy the ticket.
She wanted you to take that trip.
She definitely wanted you to take that risk â the one that may have just opened a whole new world.She wants you to remember what it feels like to run to the sea without a care in the world and splash and laugh till you ache.
To face the day without a fear in your heart and embrace every opportunity that comes.She doesnât understand why you wonât wear the bikini.
She doesnât understand why you wonât eat the cake.
She doesnât understand why you donât let it go.
She definitely doesnât understand why you accept second best.Somewhere inside there is a little girl who wonders at the adult youâve become..
She still has many things she wants to learn and so many people still to meet.
She still has food sheâd like to taste and parties she wants to dance at.
She still has places she wants to visit and wonders she wants to stare at.Somewhere inside you, there is a little firecracker â desperate to see more of this thing we call life.
Go get her, sheâs fun.
***
Links
Donna's websiteHer Facebook pageDonna on TwitterFollow The Big Middle
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They call themselves retirement recidivists.
My guests Bruce Hiland and Ted Kaufman tried but failed several times to call time on busy, high-status careers.
Theyâre the authors of the book Retiring?: Your Next Chapter is about Much More than Money.
They say figuring out what you're going to do is job one after you've sorted your financial future.
To win at retirement, they say much more attention must be paid to planning how you're going to feed your mind, body, heart and soul.
In their eighties now, Bruce and Ted decided to write their practical guide to the non-financial aspects of conventional retirement after hearing the frustrations of their contemporaries. Many had mistakenly thought ticking off bucket list adventures and hanging out with their grandkids would be enough to sustain them. There was little awareness of the fact we're living longer and in better health so need a plan for 25 to 30 years of freedom from full-time, all-consuming work obligations on someone else's clock.
Ted is a former US senator from Delaware, Joe Bidenâs former chief of staff when the president was a senator and head of Bidenâs presidential transition. He lives between Vero Beach, Florida and Wilmington, Delaware.
Bruce is a former management consultant and chief administrative officer for Time Inc.; he also lives in Vero Beach when heâs not hanging out with his family and savouring the natural delights of Middlebury, Vermont.
Links
Buy their book Retiring?: Your Next Chapter is About Much More than Money
Bruce + Ted's blog
Contact them
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Iâve always given the notion of retirement shortest shrift on The Big Middle.
What does it even mean in 2022?
We donât retire these days, we shift gears, we make transitions.
We keep earning if we need to (and most of us need to) while we grow our minds, feed our passions, soothe our souls and figure out how to give back - do something that matters to more than ourselves.
Two fascinating guests join me on The Big Middle to talk transitions: gerontologist researcher and author Deborah Gale, based in Ascot, west of London, and journalist and author Rich Eisenberg, newly UNretired; he tells us what that means from his #WFH office in New Jersey.
Links
DEB GALE
The Age of No Retirement
The Purpose Exchange
Robert Kegan on the Further Reaches of Adult Development, the video Deb said "blew my mind"
Deb on Linkedin
Deb on Twitter
RICH EISENBERG
Rich's new Marketwatch column The View from UNretirement
Rich's podcast Friends Talk Money
Rich on Linkedin
Rich on Twitter
***
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Weâre recording this episode of The Big Middle 35 days after Russian President Vladimir Putin started his savagery in Ukraine, compounding our state of psychic trauma just as we learn to live with COVID.
The courage and resilience of Ukrainians is breathtaking. The images of the immense suffering of innocents pulverised by Russian shells in their homes and as they flee is horrifying.
Iâm betting you too are finding it harder than ever to manage your seesawing feelings of fear, anxiety, helplessness, anger and grief.
The always inspirational Dr Andy Cope is back to help us find a measure of emotional balance.
How do we square the guilt we feel as we witness Putin's barbarism from afar while striving to recover optimism and joy as COVID fades?
He says self-care is critical now. You won't be of any benefit to anyone else if your empathic distress overwhelms you to the point of incapacity. "You can't pour from an empty jug."
And beware what he calls "destination addiction" - kicking your happiness into the long grass of an uncertain future in an imperfect world. "If you're waiting for the perfect world in order to be happy.. you'll die waiting."
Andyâs a Doctor of Philosophy with a PhD in positive psychology or, as he prefers, human flourishing. Heâs written more than a dozen books and delivers keynotes and workshops on motivation, leadership and wellbeing across the world. His flagship programme is called The Art of Being Brilliant.
And brilliant sums up how we end this episode. Andy sends us off with one of his tried and tested proper hugs. Trust me, you'll want one!
Links
Andy's consultancy The Art of BrillianceHis take on Putin's war on Ukraine - The Russian RevolutionOur conversation last year about learning to "rethink your thinking" to ditch "the curse of mediocrity"Andy on TwitterSupport The Big Middle
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Women in the demon grip of menopause - those of us who donât sail through it with nary a care - might well scoff at men who clamour for attention for their struggles with andropause, the male menopause.
Are they even comparable? And don't only a small percentage of men experience it?
Questions I put to Dr Jeff Foster, a menâs health specialist here in the UK.
We cover the men's health fundamentals - the importance of testosterone and estrogen, erectile dysfunction, cardiovascular disease, prostate cancer, turtle bellies, "moobs" (man boobs) and more.
Dr Foster is the author of the excellent, practical book Man Alive: The Health Problems Men Face and How to Fix Them.
Alongside his work within the National Health Service, the NHS, he's a co-funder of H3 Health, a private clinic in Warwickshire for midlife men and women.
Loved learning from Dr Jeff. Video version up soon on my newborn YouTube channel. Do have a gander and subscribe - massive thanks if you do!
Links
Buy Dr Jeff's book Man Alive hereDr Jeff's clinic H3 HealthJeff on InstagramJeff on TwitterFollow The Big Middle
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She's been called Queen of Orgasms and The Lube Queen. On the socials, she goes by SamTalksSex. Sam Evans is a sexual health and pleasure expert who's exasperated that frank talk and clear, practical information about all aspects of consensual sex is still hard to get, mired in stigma.
A former renal and occupational health nurse, she's a tireless campaigner for better information and understanding of how to keep enjoying the many health benefits of sex no matter what life throws at you - illness, bereavement, menopause, relationship breakdown. And let's not forget age. Sam is all about blowing up the stubborn myth that sex has an age-expiration date.
Sam advises health care professionals and gives talks to cancer and other charities when she's not running Jo Divine, the online sexual aids company she set up with her husband in 2007.
The site has become a rich, public health service, an education hub about everything to do with healthy, consensual sex.
And don't forget to use that 10% discount code for purchases from JoDivine.com from now through March 10th. The code is The Big Middle.
Oh and there is a show and tell aspect to our chat. Video out soon (if it passes YouTube muster)!
Links
A sampler of sex education info and perspectives you'll find on Jo Divine:Breastfeeding and sex Want Thrush? Use a bath bombMenopause and LibidoWinning Back our Sex Life after Prostate Cancer - a personal story by Elvin BoxSam on Instagram Sam on TwitterTrekstock, the fabulous cancer charity for young adults Sam was to address that evening after our podchatPiece in The Guardian about those Swiss sheds for sex workers (there is a laudable safety angle of course) I mentioned from 2013, when they were set up
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