Episodios

  • When conflict takes over your relationships, most people default to silence. But silence wounds our relationships. When you use this tool, you won’t have to pay the price of silence between you and your loved ones again.

    1:45 I’ve been seeing a lot of this in my private practice1:58 Intimacy will show us the state of our hearts2:24 Relationship challenges like a symptom 2:50 This can keep us in love for a lifetime3:20 The set up for the silence5:04 Silence can inadvertently convey things that aren’t true5:49 The tool for disturbing the silence6:10 An example of putting words to the silence7:05 When we don’t put words to the silence, here’s what we risk”7:57 Other examples8:34 Neither of you has to guess8:48 This week’s homework

    Resources: The Sound of Silence by Simon & Garfunkel (1964): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fWyzwo1xg0

    Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia

    Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley

    Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

    Contact Information:

    Dr. Jessica Tartaro

    Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator

    Pronouns “She” + “Her”

    Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562

    Email: [email protected]

    Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/

    Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.

    Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“

  • Reflective listening is deceptively simple. Anyone can practice it. And it has the potential to help us “catch up” when overwhelming events can be too much to digest on our own.

    1:30 Emotionally metabolize events that are too big

    2:15 Listening for dummies (not really)

    2:35 A reflective listening example

    3:04 It’s okay to be skeptical

    3:40 It just works - here’s why

    3:57 We hear through the filters over our ears

    4:30 The costs of the distortion

    5:23 Why “feeling heard” is so important

    7:10 “I will not try to change you”.

    8:44 Help us “catch up” to ourselves

    9:07 This week’s homework

    9:55 Be sure to include this follow up phrase

    Resources: Subscribe to my Patreon page to ensure you don’t miss an episode of "Under 10"! Find me at: Patreon.com/DrTartaroIntimacyCoaching. And for this week’s homework, check out Episodes 16 and 42 on my website here: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/under-10-podcast/.

    Podcast produced by Sal DeRosaliaMusic composed and performed by Aimee Mia KelleyPhoto by Tchoutcho Dantine de Thier on Unsplash

    Contact Information:

    Dr. Jessica Tartaro

    Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator

    Pronouns “She” + “Her”

    Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562

    Email: [email protected]

    Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/

    Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.

    Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“

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  • When the going gets tough in relationship, sometimes you need more than words to reconnect you - you need bodies. In this episode "teaser", I introduce why sex as a practice can save and sustain your connection over the long term. Check out the full show on Patreon.com/DrTararoIntimacyCoaching.

    00:48 The door is closed and I’m going to share more candidly from here

    1:08 The healing role of lovemaking to reconnect you

    1:17 My husband and I had some surprising results

    1:25 Sometimes it’s not words that will unblock you, it’s bodies

    1:38 The end of this week’s teaser and where to find the rest of the episode

    1:54 The perks of being a Patreon subscriber - not just podcasts!

    Resources: To listen to the rest of this episode and make sure you get all future episodes of "Under 10", go to www.Patreon.com/DrTartaroIntimacyCoaching. I look forward to seeing you there!

    Contact Information:

    Dr. Jessica Tartaro

    Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator

    Pronouns “She” + “Her”

    Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562

    Email: [email protected]

    Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/

    Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.

    Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“

  • Having things unsaid in a relationship will clog the pipes of your connection. In this episode, I explain that it’s never too late to get vulnerable and bring the flow back.

    00:49 Big announcement about “Under 10”

    1:39 Where to find me on Patreon going forward

    2:10 What “getting stuck” means

    2:43 You know you’ve gotten stuck when these things are happening

    3:23 Poop metaphor (skip ahead as needed)

    4:20 This is what unclogs the pipes

    4:45 It’s the vulnerability that creates the flow

    5:14 An example from a friend’s hot first date and how she got stuck

    7:02 The bad news and the good news about getting unstuck

    7:48 This week’s homework

    9:32 The pun I couldn’t resist

    9:42 I hope to see you on Patreon!

    Resources: I hope you will consider becoming a patron of my work in order to avoid missing any episodes of "Under 10" as well as to get less edited, more raw content. Ready to go deeper with me? Find me at http://Patreon.com/DrTartaroIntimacyCoaching. And thank you!

    Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia

    Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley

    Photo by Nicholas Ng on Unsplash

    Contact Information:

    Dr. Jessica Tartaro

    Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator

    Pronouns “She” + “Her”

    Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562

    Email: [email protected]

    Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/

    Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.

    Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“

  • “Just moving on '' after the worst of the pandemic poses major risks to our quality of life and capacity to connect. When you have the courage to slow down and honor what you just went through, you can retrieve and re-integrate the parts of you that got “stuck” in the stressors of the last two years.

    1:15 Tempting to just put the stressors of the last two years behind us

    2:00 We have all been affected

    2:10 The first time I took my mask off

    3:00 The definition and importance of continuity

    4:20 Our culture rushes past impact

    4:42 This is what could have been said

    4:56 A “catching up”

    5:42 The high costs of just moving on

    6:05 Story by Rabbi Bernath about beauty in a metro station

    7:00 Shouldn’t beauty arrest us no matter what we are doing?

    7:27 The relationship between stopping for beauty and stopping for pain

    8:25 This is how we “unstick” from where we got stuck in the past

    8:40 This week’s homework – 3 parts

    Resources: Read the full essay by Rabbi-Yisroel Bernath, “Missing the Beauty, here: https://st-ignatius.net/missing-the-beauty/. Check out a blog I wrote about my community’s transition out of masks here: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/masks-coming-off-why-transitioning-gently-matters/. And contact me for more information about speaking to your group by emailing me at [email protected].

    Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia

    Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley

    Photo credit Antonio Guillem from iStock

    Contact Information:

    Dr. Jessica Tartaro

    Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator

    Pronouns “She” + “Her”

    Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562

    Email: [email protected]

    Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/

    Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.

    Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“

  • In this week’s episode, I delve into the importance of a self-pleasure practice and specific steps you can take to create or deepen your practice. Whether you’ve been pleasuring yourself for a lifetime or have never felt ready – until now – I’m grateful you’re along for this exploration.

    1:56 Yes, masturbation can be a practice

    2:10 What happens to our psychology when we hide or don’t share something

    3:06 Our attention changes the object of our attention

    3:24 Something fractured getting more whole

    4:13 Masturbation as a full body, self-honoring ritual

    4:51 Paying attention to ourselves is counterintuitive to our cultural programming

    5:28 Quote by Eduardo Galleano

    6:06 Pleasure is a pathway to inhabit yourself

    6:58 I choose to be a fiesta.

    6:55 An imagination exercise

    8:00 Permission to make it up and let go of a goal

    9:18 This week’s homework

    Resources: In addition to celebrating the body, Eduardo Galeano (1940-2015) was a passionate advocate for human rights and social justice. Read more about him as well as listen to interviews here: https://lannan.org/bios/eduardo-galeano.

    Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia

    Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley

    Photo by Quino Al on Unsplash

    Contact Information:

    Dr. Jessica Tartaro

    Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator

    Pronouns “She” + “Her”

    Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562

    Email: [email protected]

    Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/

    Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.

    Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“

  • Most people feel some shame about masturbation. Yet self-pleasuring is a powerful way to know what your body wants. In this episode, I tell the story of how I met the Grandmother of Masturbation and invite you to reflect on your earliest messages about your body’s pleasure.

    1:01 Exploring your body shows you what feels good and what doesn’t

    1:23 I dedicate this episode to Betty Dodson, the Grandmother of Masturbation

    1:57 The story of how I got humped by Betty

    4:51 My self-pleasuring origin story

    7:35 It can feel intimidating to try

    7:46 Exploring your body is a way to meet yourself

    8:26 Our culture is terrified of us getting sexually empowered

    8:44 The locus of control shifts

    8:56 This week’s homework

    Resources: Betty Dodson died on October 31, 2020, but her legacy lives on. Find her book, Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving anywhere books are sold including here. And watch one of the final interviews she gave before her death on the Netflix series, “Goop Lab”, in Season 1 Episode 3, “The Pleasure Is Ours”: https://www.netflix.com/title/80244690.

    Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia

    Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley

    Photo by Apostolos Vamvouras on Unsplash

    Contact Information:

    Dr. Jessica Tartaro

    Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator

    Pronouns “She” + “Her”

    Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562

    Email: [email protected]

    Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/

    Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.

    Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“

  • In the moments when your feelings are bigger than you can handle, it’s important to have options. In this show, I share three “go to” principles to practice both when you most need it and especially in the times when you don’t.

    1:35 No one-size-fits-all solution

    2:13 You have to notice where you are in order to change it

    2:55 Tracking in low stakes moments

    3:36 I got lost and here’s what I found

    4:57 The first principle

    5:15 The second principle which you actually learned in kindergarten

    6:32 The third principle – you have to fill in the blanks.

    8:02 This week’s homework

    9:41 An exercise we can do together right now

    Resources: Read about and listen to Krishna Das, chanting and meditation teacher and amazing storyteller, here: https://www.krishnadas.com/. Find All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten and other books by Robert Fulghum here: https://www.robertleefulghum.com/books/. Email me to find a buddy at [email protected].

    Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia

    Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley

    Photo by Simran Sood on Unsplash

    Contact Information:

    Dr. Jessica Tartaro

    Intimacy Coach & Connection Facilitator

    Pronouns “She” + “Her”

    Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562

    Email: [email protected]

    Website: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/

    Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.

    Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of “Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro“

  • When we only show our outsides to each other, we can feel alone. In this episode, I show you my insides and give you permission to do the same and to feel how connected we truly are.

    1:05 There’s one main problem with being f*cked up

    1:33 What if we had that social permission slip?

    2:00 My intimacy coaching program gave us permission

    2:55 I make an admission

    4:02 When people we think have it together admit that they don’t

    4:55 The power of showing our insides

    5:20 I give you permission

    5:50 A couples coaching example

    6:22 The shame turns hurt into hopeless

    6:40 Thomas Huebl and the collective nervous system

    7:44 What we each do impacts the collective

    8:21 A dream message

    9:27 This week’s homework.

    Resources: Thomas Huebl has a wealth of resources including free meditations and access to courses and lectures on his website here: https://thomashuebl.com/

    Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia

    Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley

    Photo by Cristian Palmer on Unsplash

    Contact Information

    Dr. Jessica TartaroIntimacy Coach & Connection FacilitatorPronouns "She" + "Her"

    Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562Email: [email protected]: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/

    “Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.”

    Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of "Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro".

  • Though it may seem simple, opening with gratitude when what you want in love touches you can shake you to your core. In this episode, I explain why and offer you practices for growing this capacity.

    1:21 Caveat: you may not like this story

    1:40 Something very delicious in my life

    2:33 What do you notice?

    2:52 The first principle – the ability to joy in another’s joy

    3:50 Can you tap some of this as if it was yours?

    4:00 It will take training to stop contracting at others’ happiness.

    4:50 Finding by Brene Brown about gratitude and joy

    5:22 What are my options for responding to his love?

    6:07 To pause in the face of beauty and say, I will let you touch me

    6:45 This is why genuine, embodied gratitude can be so hard

    7:41 Gratitude is a verb.

    7:55 This week’s homework.

    9:29 Gratitude can help us heal.

    Resources: The famous orgasm diner scene from When Harry Met Sally is always worth a watch: https://youtu.be/lNEX0fbGePg. Read more about Brene’s Brown’s finding that gratitude invites more joy at: https://globalleadership.org/articles/leading-yourself/brene-brown-on-joy-and-gratitude/

    Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia

    Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley

    Photo by ABDALLA M on Unsplash

    Contact Information

    Dr. Jessica TartaroIntimacy Coach & Connection FacilitatorPronouns "She" + "Her"

    Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562Email: [email protected]: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/

    “Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.”

    Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of "Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro".

  • When you start to get what you want in love, a whole new challenge arises – the opportunity to learn to live life at a higher voltage. In this episode, I offer you practices for expanding gradually so you can receive what you want without getting in your own way.

    1:15 My friend Dina and her new, hot and heavy relationship

    2:07 There’s a catch.

    3:23 Watch out for getting what you want!

    3:44 The panic attacks I had when I first started dating my husband

    4:25 We can get habituated to deprivation

    5:33 The roller coaster may be shining a light on this

    6:58 You may need to try these two things

    7:17 This week’s homework

    8:40 You are aiming to expand gently over time.

    9:35 Learning to be happy is a practice.

    Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia

    Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley

    Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Unsplash

    Contact Information

    Dr. Jessica TartaroIntimacy Coach & Connection FacilitatorPronouns "She" + "Her"

    Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562Email: [email protected]: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/

    “Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.”

    Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of "Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro".

  • You can spend your life focusing on what you don't want and criticizing the people who want to help you. Or you can get oh-so-turned on about the best two minutes of your life. You decide.

    1:40 The negativity bias saves us time and again

    3:00 But it undermines us in love

    3:40 Quote by Dr. Rick Hansen to help understand this sticky phenomenon

    4:28 Consider this the “off” switch for the negativity bias

    5:42 Imagine this scenario of pleasure, heat and desire building...and then.

    7:15 What would you do?

    7:50 Instead of your default response, try this.

    8:37 Blow your breath on the ember of what you want and see it grow.

    9:34 This week’s homework

    Resources: I have referenced Dr. Rick Hanson before. He’s a badass. Check out his books, programs and free resources including meditations for retraining your brain at: https://www.rickhanson.net/. And sign up in advance for my next Intimacy Salon on March 16th! The first one was so fun. People said they left feeling less alone, more connected and more clear about asking for what they wanted. Get your ticket at: https://tinyurl.com/IntimacywithDrJessica

    Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia

    Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley

    Photo by Sawyer Brice on Unsplash

    Contact Information

    Dr. Jessica TartaroIntimacy Coach & Connection FacilitatorPronouns "She" + "Her"

    Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562Email: [email protected]: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/

    “Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.”

    Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of "Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro".

  • Without knowing what you want, you will have a very hard time getting it. In this episode, I explore how to clear the channel between you and the voice of what you want so that you can hear the animal of your desire.

    1:05 In order to ask for it, you have to have a clue about what you want

    2:55 Your desires may be muted under messages about what you “should” want

    3:10 Think of your desire like an animal

    3:43 Her appetite is not stirred when you fake it

    4:36 I started healing my desire at the hot food bar at Whole Foods

    5:50 Eating what I wanted brought me back to myself

    6:15 Giving yourself permission to break the rules of your programming

    6:45 A coaching example with a young couple who were healing their desire

    7:13 If you don’t know what’s possible, you can’t ask for it.

    8:07 The options in intimacy are as vast as your vision for what’s possible

    8:27 This week’s homework

    Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia

    Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley

    Photo by Elias Maurer on Unsplash

    Contact Information

    Dr. Jessica TartaroIntimacy Coach & Connection FacilitatorPronouns "She" + "Her"

    Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562Email: [email protected]: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/

    “Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.”

    Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of "Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro".

  • In this episode, I attempt to normalize why asking for what you need whether big or small can feel scary when you think it might rock the boat of your intimate relationship.

    1:30 Dr. Brene Brown’s definition of vulnerability

    1:50 In order for love to get in, we have to get uncomfortable

    2:54 The high stakes of intimate partnership

    3:43 You have let them believe something is true when it’s not

    3:50 Examples of untold truths

    4:35 Why the trap of withholding truths is so easy to fall into

    5:15 The reasons people avoid truth telling

    6:25 The same reason you avoid telling truths is the reason to tell them

    7:35 We are in relationship to come more alive.

    8:37 This week’s homework

    8:58 Next week’s episode

    Resources: Dive into the abundance of wisdom on vulnerability, shame and authenticity with Dr. Brene Brown’s work here: https://brenebrown.com/.

    Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia

    Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley

    Photo by Sarah Cervantes on Unsplash

    Contact Information

    Dr. Jessica TartaroIntimacy Coach & Connection FacilitatorPronouns "She" + "Her"

    Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562Email: [email protected]: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/

    “Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.”

    Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of "Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro".

  • In this episode, I introduce two principles for growing community that I have learned from my years of starting groups. In this era of prolonged social isolation, it’s revolutionary to still find ways to gather. I invite you to get your hands dirty with me and try.

    1:21 My parents first showed me how to grow community

    2:25 Community is not incidental to our lives – it is our lives.

    2:58 We create community in order to learn and address what we need.

    3:31 The first principle of growing community

    4:23 Frederick Buechner quote

    4:44 The second principle for growing community

    5:21 Agreements are a net catching us in groups

    5:43 Examples of agreements specific to one group’s needs

    7:22 Be willing to get messy and learn along the way.

    7:55 This week’s homework

    Resources: Mark’s Nepo’s website is: https://marknepo.com/. Read about Frederick Buechner at: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frederick_Buechner. And consider listening again to Episode #4 where I first introduce the idea of agreements in conscious relating: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/episode-4-saying-whats-true-part-2-making-agreements-for-truth/.

    Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia

    Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley

    Photo by Benjamin Combs on Unsplash

    Contact Information

    Dr. Jessica TartaroIntimacy Coach & Connection FacilitatorPronouns "She" + "Her"

    Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562Email: [email protected]: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/

    “Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.”

    Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of "Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro".

  • Individual therapy is important. But it will never alone fill the needs that community so powerfully meets. We need the village more than ever. In this episode I explain how being a part of a healthy community, in addition to doing your personal work, is key for activating our blueprint for health.

    1:05 I recently burned myself - the scar is ugly

    2:00 How engaging in personal work can feel overwhelming

    2:48 This conviction keeps me going even when change isn’t visible

    3:30 What is needed to activate healing change

    4:10 How community can deliver what’s needed

    5:15 Saying to the pain, “You are at last outnumbered”.

    5:52 One therapist or coach can never be the village

    6:05 “The work of community is the practice of care stitching the world together”

    6:46 Tom Robbins quote - healing backwards in time

    7:37 This week’s homework

    8:25 Sneak preview of next episode

    Resources: Author Mark Nepo says, "No one can live your life for you, but no one can make it alone, either". Read more about his inspiring work to teach healthy relationships and rebuild community at https://marknepo.com/. The Tom Robbins quote is from Still Life With Woodpecker. Marvel at his other quotes from the same novel here: https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/1105809-still-life-with-woodpecker.

    Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia

    Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley

    Photo by Neil Thomas on Unsplash

    Contact Information

    Dr. Jessica TartaroIntimacy Coach & Connection FacilitatorPronouns "She" + "Her"

    Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562Email: [email protected]: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/

    “Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.”

    Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of "Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro".

  • Most people never learned why talking matters in our love making. In this episode, I explain how words in bed are the road signs orienting you for the journey and teach you three different forms of communication you can use to connect to your partner during your sex.

    1:55 The majority of people learned about sex this way

    3:05 Sex without words is not how real sex looks

    4:03 Talking to one another in bed serves an essential purpose

    4:48 Silence in sex is like driving without road signs

    5:27 It doesn’t make you bad, just uninformed

    5:38 Three ways to communicate during sex

    5:59 Name what you are feeling in your body

    7:02 Ask for what you want in a way your partner can hear

    8:14 Make a simple, singular offer

    8:40 Examples of questions not to ask in bed

    9:35 Communicating in sex tells your partner many important things

    10:10 This week’s homework

    Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia

    Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley

    Photo by Mahrael Boutros on Unsplash

    Contact Information

    Dr. Jessica TartaroIntimacy Coach & Connection FacilitatorPronouns "She" + "Her"

    Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562Email: [email protected]: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/

    “Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.”

    Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of "Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro".

  • Everyone gets triggered. What makes the difference between constant breakdown and healthy relating is what you tell yourself and how you mend. In this episode, I invite you to bring compassion to your triggers so you can learn from and heal these moments.

    1:30 The pitfall of resolutions

    2:24 How we fall prey to the shame monster

    3:30 Here’s the actual problem – it’s not what you think

    4:38 What you do after the trigger is what makes the difference.

    5:08 From Triggered to Tranquil by Dr. Campbell outlines the steps

    5:23 How we resist the shame

    6:43 My husband and I dug into the cleanup recently

    7:26 The “next frontier” rather than a resolution

    7:55 Healthy intimacy actually needs friction

    8:57 This week’s homework

    Resources: Find From Triggered to Tranquil by Dr. Susan Campbell here: https://susancampbell.com/product/from-triggered-to-tranquil/. Of note, though some amount of friction is important for authentic intimacy, too much friction is not a good thing for your nervous system or your relationship. It likely means one or both of you need additional help to heal whatever is being revealed. If you find yourself in this situation, please consider seeking professional counseling to aid in your process.

    Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia

    Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley

    Photo by Scott Umstattd on Unsplash

    Contact Information

    Dr. Jessica TartaroIntimacy Coach & Connection FacilitatorPronouns "She" + "Her"

    Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562Email: [email protected]: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/

    “Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.”

    Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of "Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro".

  • In Episode #50, I share with you a secret about my sex life and reveal a lesson that I’ve been teaching you all along throughout all my previous forty-nine episodes, though you may not have realized it was actually about sex.

    1:38 Climax in movies or literature

    2:38 The “plotline” of our sexual experience

    3:15 Our bodies don’t always follow the script

    3:30 The challenge of not summiting the mountain

    4:15 Most people have this measure for sex

    5:00 Another way to think about sexual pleasure

    5:40 A new definition for orgasm

    6:50 The benefits of this model

    7:07 Not measuring success or failure in bed

    7:25 My big secret revealed

    9:31 This week’s homework

    Note: All bodies are different, and no sexual guidance is ever a one-size-fits-all solution, including what I reference in this episode. This show is an introduction to what I teach couples and by no means meant to suggest that resolving sexual dysfunction or relationship challenges due to sex is easy. If you have questions about your sex life and want a tailored consultation for you and your partner, please reach out to me or to another conscious sexuality professional to talk about your specific sexual needs and priorities.

    Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia

    Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley

    Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

    Contact Information

    Dr. Jessica TartaroIntimacy Coach & Connection FacilitatorPronouns "She" + "Her"

    Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562Email: [email protected]: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/

    “Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.”

    Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of "Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro".

  • Unless you have the training, it can be easy to talk at people rather than learning how to talk to them, leaving you lonely and disconnected. In this episode, I introduce you step-by-step to the simple, life changing practice of “tracking impact” and creating rich connection in conversation.

    1:21 My client told me that our sessions were different

    2:04 “Tracking impact” is the practice that shifts talking at to talking to someone

    2:45 The utterly socially awkward version of me from college

    3:30 I ask you for impact.

    5:02 Being like a memory foam mattress in conversation

    5:45 I asked my client a strange question, but it was what he came to me to learn

    7:15 Conversations don’t have to be dead – they can be alive, spontaneous and heartfelt

    7:48 This week’s homework and a short demo with my husband

    Resources: Many of these forms of communication I learned from the practice of Circling. There are several different schools of Circling. I gravitate most to what’s called "Integral Circling", which you can read about here: https://integralcentered.com/circling/.

    Podcast produced by Sal DeRosalia

    Music composed and performed by Aimee Mia Kelley

    Photo by Dario Valenzuela on Unsplash

    Contact Information

    Dr. Jessica TartaroIntimacy Coach & Connection FacilitatorPronouns "She" + "Her"

    Telephone: 1 (480) 993-5562Email: [email protected]: https://www.drjessicatartaro.com/

    “Contact me to schedule an initial, complimentary consultation – called an Exploratory – to explore the fit for coaching together.”

    Looking for tools you can immediately apply to improve your relationships? Tune into weekly installments of "Under 10: A Mini Intimacy Podcast with Dr. Jessica Tartaro".